The Story of a Crow and a Blackbird
by Bluestarshine
Summary: Darkness surrounds the lonely crow while it waits, for a light never found, for a love never held. The blackbird flies with broken wings, looking for something that doesn't exist. She came in search of her brother, but finds only pain and emptiness in the shadow he left behind. Is there any chance of redemption and happiness? There has to be more to life than this. (Damon & OC)
1. Irreversible mistakes

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I'm a bad person._

The afternoon sun has only just begun to set down on Wickery Bridge as Johanna drives slowly over the bridge and towards the town of Mystic Falls.

She had never planned to come here, to find him, but she knew now that it was something that must be done.

He was her family, she was his, and he was all that she had in this world. She had to find him, and she needed to find him, because there were so many words unsaid between them and so much that she had to tell him.

The timing had never been right before, and now she didn't truly believe the timing was right, but perhaps it would never be or feel right. Now could be her only chance to find him, to swear to herself she'd never lose him again, and to apologize to him.

She would listen carefully to every word that passed his lips. She would believe everything he told her, as she always should have.

So many, too many, things had happened in his absence. She had searched for him for months, and after several months of searching, she had found him. As she had learned where he was, she had found the strength and the courage to come to him.

Johanna knew that coming to Mystic Falls was the right thing to do.

There may never be another chance for her to fix things. All that she had longed to do, during their separation, was to fix things between them. Fixing things sounded so simple, so easy, but it wasn't easy.

In the year that had passed her by, after he had left, she had longed to find him because she couldn't bear the separation from him.

When they were children, they had been separated for much longer, it had been an involuntary separation and they had fought with everything they had to find each other again. This time, the separation was voluntary, on his side, and he had chosen to leave. She hadn't fought because she hadn't been strong enough to fight and she hadn't believed that he would leave her as he did.

She had been at fault, for their separation. Johanna was more than willing to accept all and any blame. It was her fault that he walked away – but he hadn't simply walked away from her; he'd run away from her as fast as he possibly could with no word and no goodbye.

He ran away from the pain which had surrounded them for years. But you can't outrun the pain, they both knew that. He had willingly left her to deal with the ruins of their destroyed bond; their bond which had survived years of separation and pain, in the past, and she only prayed that their bond was still intact after all the time that had passed.

She drives through the town of Mystic Falls without stopping; passing houses, and streets, on her way she sees families and friends enjoying their weekend and enjoying their time together. After driving only a little further in to town, she comes towards the Mystic Grill and decides that she will look for him inside – it's a start.

Johanna parks across the road from the grill and once the car is parked, she sits silently and still as she draws in a deep breath of air. For a moment, the idea of turning her car around and driving away as fast as she can crosses her thoughts.

Running away is something she has always been particularly good at. Eventually, as more time passes, running away from people or certain situations becomes a part of your nature which you can't easily shed. So, you continue to run for as long as you can because you can't help yourself and you don't want to stop yourself.

Johanna has been running for most, if not all, of her life but he was always there with her and for her.

If she were to try to count all of her friends, or those she could rely on, she would only need to think of one person because there is only ever one person who she has always been able to count and rely on. Her trust in him is unquestionable. Her love is unwavering.

She's never been good at making friends because she can never do such a simple thing without caution. You can never truly know who a person is or what they really are. It's easier this way, only have one person to always rely on because he would never let her down or hurt her. She'd hurt him and she'd let him down completely.

Johanna would make things better between the two of them. She would fight for him, fight for their friendship, because he is and always will be her best friend.

Thinking of him and remembering his contagious laugh, his sense of humor, his smile and his protectiveness of her – these reminders and memories of their lives together, and the painful thoughts of their time apart, only make her want to find him more.

She pulls the keys out of the ignition, switches of the car engine and then she places her keys inside a small black bag which had previously rested on the passenger seat of her car. After releasing small breath of air, which she hadn't been aware that she'd been holding, she readjusts the car mirror so that she may see her appearance.

She stops as she casts a look at her reflection; she feels as though she is looking at a stranger. The person staring back at her looks exhausted, like they haven't slept in days. She hasn't slept in days, but if she's being honest she hasn't slept properly in years.

She'd been driving towards Mystic Falls for hours, and hours, without stopping, sleeping or resting. She hadn't stopped because she had been so determined to find him. Even if a small part of her had wanted to go home, she couldn't because she didn't have a home to return to.

If he was here, and if he was willing to forgive her, there was a possibility that they could be a family again like they once were not so long ago.

After removing her long, almost chocolate, dark brown hair from the black clip that had previously held it up in a bun at the back of her head, Johanna runs her hands through the waves and kinks until it is relatively smoothed out.

With her black bag in her hand she steps out of her car, closes the door and locks it. Once she is out of the car Johanna stretches because she hasn't stretched for hours. She runs her hands down her black denim jeans to even out any creases and then checks her long sleeved, lace, dark blue blouse which rests on top of a white shirt, for any creases.

She moves slowly towards the Grill, not because she is reluctant to find him but because she is so incredibly nervous, and as she does she takes in each and every detail of the town that she can see. It seems to be a peaceful, calm place and she only hopes that he still remains here because Mystic Falls is the only lead that she had found on his possible whereabouts.

Johanna steps through the front doors of the grill to find that it is busy with customers; music is playing loudly throughout the grill, which is filled with chatter and laughter. She casts a quick, yet detailed, look over the faces of all in the room. As she scans the room she does not find him.

Her eyes flicker over the strangers quickly and without a second glance back at them because if he was here she would know by now.

After releasing a small, silent sight of air she moves down towards the bar and towards a blonde haired man with light, almost clear, blue eyes behind the bar. She steps towards him, her black slightly heeled boots clacking on the ground of the timber floors, and as she reaches him he looks up and gives her a warm, welcoming smile.

"Hi." Johanna calls out, from across the bar.

She silently observes him as he moves from behind the bar with a tray, to place plates and other items in, in his hands.

"Hi, how can I help you?" he replies, still with a small smile, as he moves to pick up the empty glass beside her. "My names Matt." he adds before he turns to face her.

"Johanna." she says.

Johanna extends her hand, to Matt, but changes her mind after seeing his hands are full. She smiles at him, kindly, and begins to speak but stops as he does.

"You're new to town, Johanna?" he asks her.

As Matt looks up, from the plates that he has just placed into the blue tray that rests in his left hand, he casts a quick but detailed look over Johanna.

On her left hand he counts three rings; two silver rings carefully detailed with a soft pattern rest on her thumb and another dark silver, and black, ring rest just before the bend of her pointer finger. On her ring finger rests a small white diamond ring and below that, just before the bend in her finger, rests a plain silver band.

On her right hand Matt counts five rings; a thick silver ring on her thumb, a ring the size of a small coin with an incredibly detailed and complicated pattern on her pointer finger and below that ring rests a thick silver and white ring.

There are several bracelets and bands on her wrists, such as a silver, almost white, watch. Underneath the watch on her right hand rests a plain silver band, a black and white piece of string entwined together and various other bands.

"Yes, I am…." she answers, slowly. "I was, uh, actually hoping that you could-" she begins but stops speaking as an unfamiliar voice cuts over Johanna and steps into the conversation that she was having with Matt.

"Matt." Bonnie says, stepping towards him.

She doesn't look towards the woman standing next to him but rather turns directly to face him and says, "We need you, back at home…." she says, with a voice so low that only Matt will hear.

Matt looks away from Johanna, immediately, and leans in a little closer to Bonnie, as he asks, "Why-What happened? How's Jeremy?"

"Not so good. Can you come, please?" Bonnie asks; she's almost pleading, as she holds Matt's unwavering gaze.

He nods at her, and places down the tray of dishes. "OK."

Then, Matt looks away from Bonnie, briefly, and turns to Johanna.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I've gotta go."

She nods once.

"Okay." she replies.

Johanna moves towards the bar, which isn't as full as the rest of the room, and takes a seat down on one of the empty bar stools.

Once seated, she orders a whiskey and drinks the entire glass with two mouthfuls.

Johanna looks up from her empty glass to see a light haired man taking a seat on one of the bar-stools down from her, three stools down to be exact; he orders a whiskey and once ordered he looks up at her and gives her a small, inviting smile.

"Uh….Hi, I-I'm sorry to interrupt you…." Johanna begins.

She stands slowly from the bar-stool and takes a step towards the man, who seems to be watching her with such curiosity in his eyes.

"Not at all." he answers, with a smile that is friendly and also slightly dangerous.

Johanna almost pauses as she comes to view this man, sitting before her. There is something about him, something familiar to her, and she knows what it is. She has never met him before but she did know someone who was very similar to him, someone who had eyes like his, a smile similar to his.

She says, finally, "My name is Johanna. Johanna Saltzman."

"Is it, now?" he asks, with an impassive tone and a slightly amused smile. "Lovely to meet you, Johanna Saltzman. My name is Nik-"

He begins to tell her his name is Niklaus Mikaelson but Klaus is unable to finish as Damon who, undoubtedly, heard the young woman announce herself is already standing behind her with an expression that he cannot hide even if he had attempted to do so; his expression is that of such rage and anger that he cannot possibly attempt to contain it.

Damon steps towards Klaus and towards the dark haired woman whose face only comes into view as he moves in closer.

"What did you say?" he asks her, with a cold, fierce tone and empty eyes.

"I'm sorry?" Johanna frowns as the words pass her lips.

She turns towards this man and waits for his response.

His light blue eyes, which are hollow and empty, stare lifelessly, back at her. He stands before her in a black, mid-length, shirt and black jeans. His dark black hair is pushed back, off of his face, and emphasizes the light color of his eyes.

"What did you just say?" he repeats, still holding the rage-filled expression on his features.

"My name is Johanna." she tells him because she assumes that this is what he wants to hear.

But this isn't what he wants to hear. He isn't interested in that part. What Damon wants to hear, what he needs to ensure that he heard correctly, is her last name; Saltzman.

Despite this denial that Damon has, immediately, gone into he cannot deny that her eyes are a very similar shade of hazel to Alaric's. When she had turned to face him her eyes had been the first thing that he had noticed.

"Next part." he orders.

The frown disappears from Johanna's features, as the words pass her lips, "Saltzman."

"Think this is funny, do you, Klaus?" Damon asks; he snaps, now, and moves quickly towards where Klaus is seated.

With the tiniest hint of a smile playing on his lips, Klaus replies, "Oh, no, not in the slightest, Damon."

Damon asks, in a deeper and more maddening tone, "You set her up, for this? Compel her?"

"I'm just looking for my brother." Johanna states, loudly, as she takes a step away from the two of them.

Damon keeps his back to her, and straightens up.

"Alaric Saltzman was your brother?" he asks.

"Yes." Johanna answers, quickly.

She comes to an abrupt stop, though, as his words ring through her ears and scream loudly in her mind.

He had asked if Alaric Saltzman _was_ her brother.

She steps towards the man, so that she may view his face.

"What do you mean, 'was'?" she asks, clearly panicked.

"You're a little late, aren't you?" he asks, tilting his head to the side. "The funeral was a month ago." he adds; his voice is low, as he speaks and the words come out as harshly as they were intended to.

"Funeral – what….What do you mean, by funeral? Alaric's not-" Johanna stutters, on the occasional words, as she waits for some or any explanation.

"By funeral I mean…" he begins to say but stops, only momentarily, and then continues in a darker tone, with a sarcastic ring to it, "Funeral. Sorry if that's a little too cryptic for you."

"He's dead?" she asks; with a voice that shows no emotions whatsoever.

Damon steps away from Johanna and without a second glance back begins moving towards the front doors of the grill. He doesn't need this, he doesn't need to be reminded of Alaric and of his death by a stranger who has appeared out of nowhere.

Johanna, who continues to walk behind Damon, calls out, "Please, can you stop? Please, I just-"

"You what?" he asks; he turns around, quickly, to face her.

"If you came for the family reunion, you're late." he tilts his head to the side again as he speaks, and with a slightly furrowed brow he states, "Alaric never mentioned you."

"We were close." she insists.

She steps closer.

Damon takes a step back, as she does, because of her eyes; those damn eyes remind him so much of Alaric's eyes.

They are a lighter shade but they're still frighteningly similar to Alaric's.

Seeing those eyes remind Damon of the guilt that never truly leaves his mind or his heart.

He has never been free of the guilt before and this time, the guilt of Alaric's deaths, he will never be free of it or anything else.

So, instead of being free of it, because being free is just a lie because no one is ever truly free, he drinks and allows it to consume him because he can't fight it.

"Clearly." Damon retorts, as his eyes move over Johanna.

"We were." she insists, in a louder tone. "I just – He can't be dead. He just-"

Damon shakes his head, slowly, as he says, "You're too late."

"Wait – can you just stop?" Johanna asks, almost pleading.

She moves as Damon does and in an attempt to stop him from leaving, in a desperate attempt for her to receive the answers to the thousands of questions screaming in her mind, she reaches out and grabs his upper arm just above his elbow.

"Please, Damon." she says, in a softer tone.

"He's dead. OK?" Damon says; his voice is much louder and filled with more rage, as he says the words.

He recoils from her touch as though she is toxic and will cause him immediate pain or death.

"And there's not a damn thing I can help you with." he adds; he says these words in a lower tone, but it's different this time - there's still rage, echoing in these words, but there's also darkness dripping off of each word as it passes his lips.

Johanna watches as Damon walks away, as quickly as he can, from her. She isn't entirely sure how long she had been standing still and almost frozen staring emptily at the ground where Damon had once.

She hadn't moved because she had been fighting herself; fighting her emotions, her feelings, her memories and her fears as she struggles to keep herself calm. She can't allow herself to show these emotions, not now or ever.

She can't, and she won't, allow herself to show her weaknesses to herself or to anyone else. It's better that way because by not showing any weaknesses than there is significantly less chance of getting hurt.

Sometime after Damon had walked away, Johanna finds herself in her car; she closes the door and starts up the engine and for a moment she sits still staring at the steering wheel. Eventually, she turns the car off because she has nowhere to go, not tonight, and possibly not tomorrow.

She knows where she should go, there is somewhere she should go, somewhere that her mind is screaming at her to go and she knows she has much to do for her brother and for herself but she can't go there tonight.

She steps out of the car and begins walking back inside the grill.

Tonight, her plan is to drink as much as she can, or as much as she can afford, and then stumble back to her car where she will sleep the night in the backseat.

Johanna returns to the bar and re-takes the seat she had previously sat on; once seated she orders a whiskey and tells the man behind the bar to keep them coming.

"You're still here, love?" A voice that is surprisingly familiar asks from behind Johanna.

She turns, slowly, to face a man she recognizes from earlier; he hadn't finished introducing himself when Damon had entered the conversation.

He gives her a small smile as he takes a seat down on the bar stool next to Johanna. He doesn't ask to sit next to her and once seated he too orders a whiskey.

He continues, still with a smile, "We weren't properly introduced. My name is Niklaus Mikaelson."

Klaus extends his hand to Johanna and continues to watch her with intensity and a secret curiosity.

She gives Klaus a small smile, in return for his, as she shakes his hand.

Klaus is not only interested in Johanna's sudden motivation to come to Mystic Falls, to see her brother, but he is also quite interested in _her_; he is interested to learn whether she too hunts vampires, as Alaric once did, and if she too wears a ring or something similar to save her from death.

"I was an acquaintance of Alaric's." Klaus states, before he takes a small sip of whiskey.

"He was a teacher here, in town, wasn't he?" Johanna asks, with a softer voice.

A small smile twitches on Klaus' lips, as he remembers using Alaric's body and taking his class.

He nods, and then asks, "You've come to Mystic Falls to find him then, have you, Johanna?"

"Yes. To fix…" Johanna begins, but stops before finishing that sentence.

She was too late.

She didn't find him in time and she couldn't fix things now; she couldn't save or protect him as he had always saved and protected her.

She shouldn't be sharing her problems with anyone, especially not a stranger. The only person she could think of to share her problems, both past and present with, is Alaric.

"If you truly wish to find the answers you desire, I'm afraid I cannot help you there…." Klaus announces as he stands, from the bar-stool. "Although…You may find the answers that you seek at the Gilbert household."

* * *

"How's he doing?" Elena asks, Matt, as the two of them wait for Jeremy to return from upstairs.

Jeremy had another, more violent, nightmare about killing Elena. Despite Stefan and Damon's strong objections, Elena had wanted to visit Jeremy and to be there for him. He would always be her brother and she would always try to help him in any way that she could.

However, Elena had only been allowed to visit Jeremy on the condition that she was accompanied by Stefan, as Damon put it, he had better things to do than babysit her.

"He's OK." Matt answers, honestly.

He gives Elena a reassuring, kind smile, as he watches her push her long brown hair behind her ears.

"Really?" she asks Matt; she worries insanely about Jeremy; especially now since she can't be with him, all of the time, to watch over him.

"I'm taking care of him, Elena. I told you I would." Matt says, with a softer tone. "OK? I promise you, I'll take care of him."

Stefan comes down the stairs, with Jeremy a few feet behind him, and as Stefan reaches the bottom of the stairs he hears someone knocking on the outside of the front door. He frowns, slightly, but moves towards the door – anyone who would be coming by to see Jeremy, Matt or Elena would surely enter without knocking.

Jeremy stops, a few steps behind Stefan, and watches as he opens the door.

A tall, dark haired woman, with curled hair and light hazel eyes stands on the front verandah of the house. Her lips, a pale pink, are pressed together and upon catching sight of Stefan she waits for him to speak.

"I'm sorry – can I help you?" Stefan asks her, still with a small frown on his features, as he casts a very quick look over her.

Johanna smiles, before she says, "I hope so. My name is Johanna . I was sent here by Niklaus."

These last few words, spoken by this stranger, catch all in the house's attention. Elena and Matt move quickly towards the door. All in the house have a similar look of confusion painted on their expressions.

"Johanna?" Matt asks, with a deeper frown on his face, as he recognizes her from the bar.

"You know her?" Elena asks; she looks briefly between Matt and the woman who has now been identified as Johanna.

"We met…earlier." Matt mutters, lowly.

"You were sent here by Klaus – I'm sorry, I don't understand. Sent here to do what, exactly?" Stefan questions; he manages to maintain the least confused expression, and the most impassive tone, as he holds Johanna's unwavering gaze.

"I, uh…I met him earlier. I was searching for someone and I was told that by coming here, I would be given the answers to my questions." Johanna says; she with a confident, but mainly hopeful, tone.

"I'm sorry, we can't help you." Elena states; she speaks quickly because it could be possible that Johanna is a pawn in Klaus' game.

Elena steps towards the door and begins to shut it in Johanna's face but she finds that, despite her strength as a vampire, she cannot close it entirely. Johanna, who remains on the opposite side of the door, manages to keep it open to some extent.

"Alaric. That's who I'm searching for." she calls out.

Stefan moves past Elena and re-opens the door, before he questions, "Alaric Saltzman?"

"Yes." Johanna replies; she nods once as her eyes move over those standing before her. "There are things that I'd like to know." she adds.

"OK." Stefan nods, in agreement.

Stefan can see the desperation, emptiness and darkness lurking in Johanna's eyes. He knows all too well what desperation, emptiness and darkness can do to a person and if answering her questions as best as they can could help to fill one of those than he believes that they should try their best.

Stefan smiles at Johanna before he tells her, "Come on in."

"Matt, Jeremy, you should go upstairs." Stefan adds, softly, so that only Matt, Jeremy and Elena will hear.

The two nod simultaneously and despite their reluctance to go upstairs they do because neither particular wish to be around and discuss Alaric because his death is still so painfully raw them.

"I'm Elena Gilbert and this is Stefan Salvatore." Elena says; she walks towards the kitchen, leading the way for Johanna, as Stefan stays behind her.

"How did you know Alaric?" Elena asks; her voice is low as she speaks.

It is, despite the time that has passed, still difficult for her to speak about Alaric. It is also still difficult for Elena to be around humans without thinking about how badly she longs for their blood.

"I was just about to ask you the same question." Johanna says, as she stops walking a few feet away from where Elena now stands in the kitchen.

"He lived with us, for a while….He was….Like a father. A guardian…." Elena tells her.

Elena lowers her gaze, only momentarily, to the floor. When she lifts her eyes she looks to Johanna as she waits for her explanation as to how she knows Alaric and what questions she has.

"He was my brother." Johanna says; her voice is much softer now but it stays just as confident as earlier because she won't allow herself to feel all of the complicated feelings that are attached to the thoughts of her brother.

Elena looks, who looks more than a little surprised, glances at Stefan before she asks, "You're his sister?"

"Yes." Johanna answers, simply.

"I didn't – I wasn't aware." Elena says; she pushes a strand of hair, behind her ears, as she shifts a little in her stance.

She realizes now that if this woman is Alaric's sister than she is her step-Aunt, because Alaric was married to Isobel and so he was her Step-father.

"So I've been told. I have a lot of questions and I was hoping you might have the answers." Johanna announces.

She wants these answers and once she has them she can leave this town and shut down each and every feeling, thought, and emotion in regards to her brother and his death.

Elena nods, slowly, and says, "I'll try."

"He was a teacher here, wasn't he?" Johanna questions; she looks to Elena as she speaks.

Elena hesitates before she replies, "Yes. A very good one…"

Johanna's next question throws Elena a little off guard; "Was he happy, here?" she asks.

Alaric's happiness was, and always had been, the most important thing to Johanna. He was a good-hearted, kind person, with a beautiful soul and a golden heart.

He deserved to have the happiest life that he could and she prayed that he had found the happiness he had always searched for.

Elena shifts her gaze from Johanna's to Stefan's. She isn't, for a moment, entirely sure how she should respond to that. Alaric was, in some moments, incredibly happy here but in others he was very far from happy.

"Yes, he was." Stefan says; his voice is confident, as he speaks.

"How did he die?" Johanna asks; she hadn't wanted to ask the question, this way or so soon, but she finds that she is longing to know.

There are millions upon millions of thoughts and possibilities rushing through Johanna's head about how her brother died. She needs to know how he passed; she prays he went peacefully because he had such a troubled start to life and she only prays his end to life was much more peaceful.

"How did he die?" Johanna repeats, when instead of an answer to her question she receives silence.

"Heart complications." Elena says, quickly, because that was the first response that she had thought of that could be considered believable.

Meredith had sorted out the papers and forms surrounding Alaric's death and no questions had ever been asked, until now. Perhaps, they should have been prepared to answer these questions but Elena had never believed that they would be asked questions because all who had been important to Alaric, and all who he had been important to, had been there to say goodbyes and had known how he really died.

"Heart complications?" Johanna asks; a frown has fallen onto her features.

Alaric was young and healthy, he didn't smoke, he did, however, drink a lot – but still she doesn't understand how her young, healthy brother could have died from heart complications.

"Yep." Elena nods; she presses her lips together as she continues to nod, at Johanna.

She wasn't prepared for this; for these questions.

"Would you excuse us, for a moment, Johanna?" Stefan asks, as he takes a step towards Elena, who, upon catching his gaze, follows him, towards the parlor.

"Stefan, I don't….I –" Elena begins, but stops, as she hears Stefan begin to speak.

"Compel her." Stefan says; he speaks in a low, soft tone, so that only Elena will hear his words.

"What?!" Elena asks, surprised by Stefan's suggestion.

"You need to practice compulsion, Elena. Compel her. Compel her to believe that Alaric died of heart complications. Compel her to leave, to return to her home." Stefan continues; he believes that this is what is best because they can't give Johanna the answer to this particular question.

When Elena and Stefan return to the kitchen they find Johanna standing, still, waiting for them. She looks up at the two of them as they return with an expression of confusion on her features.

Elena steps forward, towards Johanna, and says, "Alaric died from heart complications. You don't need to ask any more questions because you have all of the answers you desired. He was happy here. He died peacefully. You can leave, now, and return to wherever you came from."

At first, Elena and Stefan both believe that the compulsion worked but they are quickly proven wrong as Johanna says, "I'll return to where I came from when I have the answers I came for, about my brother's death. If that means finding the answers somewhere else, then so be it. Thank you, for your time. You were both incredibly helpful."

A sarcastic, almost bitter, tone rings of those last words; _incredibly helpful_.

Johanna has spent most of her life determining the good people from the bad. It wasn't something that she had to do but rather something that was part of her; it was something that she had to do to survive. She couldn't tell, now, if these people were good or not but she could see in their eyes that they were hiding something.

Stefan and Elena exchange a look of confusion as they watch Johanna walk down the hallway, and out of the house. Despite her desire for these answers she can never, truly, know them. It's better, this way.

"Vervain, maybe?" Elena suggests, to Stefan.

"What about Vervain?" Matt asks; he cuts into the conversation, as he steps towards Elena and Stefan.

Elena pushes her hair, behind her ears, before she says, "I, I tried to compel her – she was asking so many questions, about Alaric's death. It didn't work."

"Jeremy." Stefan says, softly, as he catches sight of Jeremy's slightly dazed expression.

"What?" Jeremy replies, instantly, as he looks up, meeting Stefan's, Elena's and Matt's gaze.

"You OK?" Stefan asks; he has, and always will be, concerned for Jeremy, he cares for him like family.

Jeremy nods, and mutters, "Yeah….I just...You don't find it weird?"

"Find what weird?" Matt asks, frowning slightly.

"She shows up one month after Alaric's death, asking all of these questions….It's just, usually, when someone new comes to Mystic Falls they have a purpose." Jeremy says; he lets out a deep breath of air once he has finished talking.

"A purpose?" Stefan asks; he tilts his head, slightly to the side, in curiosity, because he does agree with Jeremy's words.

"Klaus, Elijah – they came, for the doppelgänger. Katherine came for the moonstone. Damon came for Katherine. Klaus came to use Elena, to create hybrids. Conor came to hunt. Everyone who comes to Mystic falls usually has a purpose, a reason to, a hidden motive." Jeremy says.

"What if she's just lonely and seeking answers for her brother?" Elena suggests, with a softer voice.

With a lowered tone, Matt suggests, "In time, I guess we'll see why she's here. If she stays around."

* * *

A/N:

_Hi all :) So, this is my first ever Vampire Diaries story and I am really beyond nervous about posting this as it is a great show with complex characters, and it's a little daunting posting something on here and trying to live up to the characters and all that the writer's have created but I'm going to give it a go regardless of my nerves.._

_I thought I'd just explain in here that this is going to be a story focused mostly on an OC, who you will have learned from reading this chapter (if you read it) is Alaric Saltzman's sister. This isn't going to be your sort of average OC story in which the OC immediately falls in love with the chosen character, he/she falls in love with said OC, all is well, resolutions are found and they live happily ever after. This is more a story of struggling, of pain, and of suffering but also of the bonds that we form, how strange some can be, and how these bonds are always tested and how some bonds will be severed but some last for years, some even last through death, and I just really wanted to explore that._

_This story will differ from the show in some aspects but it will also be similar in some ways such as the search for the cure will still continue in my story. But I don't want to give away too much of the storyline. _

_However, despite that I said it will focus mostly on an OC as you will read in future chapters, I'm going to focus a lot on the other characters of Mystic Falls, such as Matt, Jeremy, Damon, Alaric, Stefan, Elena, Klaus & other characters.. I hope that you find this interesting and decide to stick with it. I also hope that someone out there, reading this, enjoys my story. I've put a lot of hard work into it and I would love to continue it, if anyone is interested in reading. Letting me know your thoughts would be very appreciated._

_I apologise for any spelling errors. I re-read it but always tend to miss something little.._

_Thank you for reading._

_X_


	2. Growing regrets

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I deserve this._

The sun has almost set completely into the sky when Johanna arrives at the cemetery.

She walks as slowly as she can towards Alaric's grave because she believes if she walks slowly enough then she will never reach it and it won't be true.

But it is true and she cannot deny this haunting truth.

She slowly kneels down beside Alaric's grave, her fingers touching down against the cold soil beside it, as she shuts her eyes.

She wants to do this, to give herself a moment to close her eyes, a moment to breathe, a moment to be alone with her brother but above all she wants to give herself a moment to say goodbye.

Despite how badly she longs for this moment, she doesn't receive it.

The sound of footsteps nearing alert her that she isn't entirely alone as she longs to be.

She exhales heavily, as she gives up on the possibility of having this moment.

Perhaps, she believes, she isn't deserving of it, she isn't deserving of saying goodbye.

"Don't let me stop you." she announces.

She knows without turning towards him, without opening her eyes, who is behind her as she believed he may come here, to see her brother.

"Oh, I will." Damon replies, murmuring the words underneath his breath.

She stands slowly, turning silently to face him, to find that he stands only a few feet away from her.

He wears an expression that she cannot completely decipher, however she is able to understand fragments; rage flickers across his eyes and a look of disgust rests upon his features, like the sight of her makes him feel ill.

She sighs shakily. "I'll leave you.." she mutters.

And she does leave him.

She leaves him with what remains of her brother and returns to her car, because she needs to get away, has to get away.

Johanna doesn't look back because she can't. If she is to look back upon her brother's grave, she fears she may crumble entirely and she can't allow such a thing to happen, she will never let such a thing happen for she can't allow herself to feel those things, to show that side to herself or to anyone else.

That side of her no longer exists.

It was buried many years ago.

The part of her that feels, that wants to live, was buried so deep, and surrounded by as many walls that she could build, could never be resurrected and she doesn't want it to.

It's better off dead, for it is impossible for her to forget all that she has done, and seen, but above all it is the most difficult to forget all that she failed to do and just _remembering _these things is almost crippling so if she were to feel them she would be destroyed, she could never return from it, there would be nothing left but an empty corpse.

Knowing that because you failed to do something resulted in the loss of the person you held dearest in the world will eat you up inside. It will rot away your insides until there is nothing but a tiny shred left.

You'll hold on to this shred, cling to it with desperation, because this small piece of light inside of you is all that you have left, it is all that has survived the darkness.

One day, in the far future, there is a chance, a possibility, that this small shred of light, this flicker of humanity, could possibly grow into something more, something bigger, something better. It may grow stronger and break out of the thick and suffocating vines.

But for now, it's better off dead.

* * *

Much to her surprise, she sleeps through the night and the early morning.

She rises just after ten, according to the watch strapped around her wrist.

She believes that perhaps she slept so well because she wasn't as utterly and entirely alone as she has been in these past months.

She was near him, as near to him as she has been in quite some time, and knowing that he was once alive in this town may have eased her sleep.

She dresses quickly, in the backseat of the car, into a long, tight black shirt but she leaves the same jeans and boots on. She quickly runs her fingers through her hair, in an attempt to neaten her curls and remove any knots.

She returns to the front seat of the car, starts up the engine and pulls the car out onto the road with a clear destination on her mind.

Johanna arrives at the Mystic Fall's hospital in a matter of minutes, and once inside she is eventually directed to a Doctor that she may speak to about her brother; she is told to find Meredith Fell but as she moves towards the direction of Doctor Fell's office she comes across a sight she views as somewhat odd, a sight that stops her and grabs her attention.

Matt has just exited a nearby room, he wears a thick, cotton bandage on the right side of his neck.

"Matt?" she calls out, as she spots him.

He turns to her quickly, a small frown resting on his features.

He manages a small smile. "Hey, Johanna. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she replies. "What happened to your neck?" she questions.

He hesitates before he responds. "Girlfriend got a bit rough….So, uh, what are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for Meredith Fell." Johanna tells him.

She catches sight of a dark haired woman, who has just stepped out of the same room that Matt had stepped out of moments earlier.

"I'm Doctor Meredith Fell. Can I help you?" she asks.

Meredith notices that Matt tenses up slightly but she doesn't take it to mean anything.

"I was hoping we could talk in private?" Johanna suggests.

"Sure. Follow me." Meredith replies, kindly.

She smiles warmly at Johanna as she guides her to her office, once they are both inside Meredith shuts the door and gestures towards a seat so Johanna may sit.

She sits slowly.

"My name is Johanna Saltzman. My brother was Alaric. I wanted to talk to you about him." she says finally.

Johanna notices Meredith tense up, and become somewhat upset by the mention of him.

She didn't come here with the intention to upset anyone over Alaric's death. She came here for answers, to the millions and millions of questions, and she's praying that Meredith can give her some of them.

"I'm sorry – I didn't mean to upset you." Johanna says quickly and softly.

"You didn't. It's fine, really. Alaric and I were friends…He was a good man." Meredith softly answers. "I'm sorry for your loss." she adds gently.

"He was a good man." Johanna agrees.

He was undoubtedly the best person that she ever knew and would ever know.

"How can I help you, Johanna?" Meredith asks, after releasing a low sigh.

Johanna hesitates. "I'm sorry – to be so blunt….I need to know. How did he die? Peacefully?"

Meredith stays silent for longer than she had intended to as she considers just how she will answer that question. Alaric didn't die peacefully. It is hard for her to answer that question honestly in any way, because Alaric died, many times, and none of those deaths were peaceful.

"Yes, he did die peacefully." Meredith lies because she so badly wishes it were the truth, that he had died peacefully.

"How?" she asks.

"Heart complications." Meredith replies, without a moment of hesitation.

"What kind of heart complications?" Johanna asks sadly.

Meredith meets Johanna's firm gaze and holds it.

"He had a heart attack. He was incredibly stressed...He was drinking, a lot, too…And…It just happened. We can't explain everything that happens." Meredith answers softly. "I am so sorry for your loss, Johanna. I truly am. Alaric was a great guy and I can't imagine what you're going through."

"Thank you, for your time, Doctor Fell." Johanna says emotionlessly, standing quickly from her chair.

"I'm glad that I could help you." Meredith smiles warmly.

"Oh, uh…." Johanna begins.

She halts as she reaches the door handle, turns slightly and sets her eyes down upon Meredith.

"His stuff - Where is it? Could I see it?" she asks.

"Oh….I'm sorry, Johanna. They got rid of most of it and the rest…It's really precious, to Elena and Jeremy." Meredith answers sadly.

Johanna manages a small smile. "Thank you for your time."

* * *

She leaves the hospital as quickly as she can because she has to, because she doesn't want to stay here anymore, because she needs to get out of here and away from these empty reminders of where her brother once was, who he once knew, and how he was once alive here.

There is nothing left of him here.

Not a shred remains.

She cannot find him anywhere she goes, and knowing this, knowing that he used to be with her always and now she is forever without him, is destroying her.

Matt, who had been silently waiting for Jeremy to arrive and pick him up, glances sideways and catches Johanna walking down towards the 1969 Blue Chevrolet Camaro, Z28, that he'd been admiring.

"Is that your car?" he calls out loudly.

She halts and turns towards him. "Uh, yeah."

Matt smiles. "Nice, very nice. Is it yours?"

"Mhm." she murmurs, still holding his gaze.

His smile remains. "So, Johanna, did you get the answers you came for?" he questions.

He takes a step towards her, closer towards her car, and finds that there is a sleeping arrangement set up in the backseat; a small thin blanket and a single pillow.

"You're sleeping in here?" he asks.

She shoves her hand into her pockets and frowns slightly, now she is purposely avoiding his gaze.

"Yeah, well, you know what the say..." she begins. "Home is where the heart is. I'm still searching."

She finally meets his gaze again, to find two soft, light, sympathetic eyes watching her.

She quickly glances away because she doesn't want his sympathy, or anyone else's.

"For what? A heart or a home?" he asks.

She hesitates. "Both."

Without thinking the next words over, Matt speaks.

"Stay with us." he blurts out. "There's a spare room. Alaric's-"

"No." she replies sharply.

She glances away from Matt, briefly, and turns towards the silver car pulling up before them. She recognises the driver, and the passenger, as being Elena and Jeremy Gilbert.

Johanna sighs lowly. "It's better this way, on my own."

She manages a small smile as she holds Matt's kind gaze.

He is a kind person, the kindest she has met so far and he has no reason to be, he doesn't know her, he doesn't owe her anything, he doesn't have to be nice to her, to talk to her at all, but he has been nice and he has spoken to her often yet she doesn't believe she could accept his offer.

It wouldn't feel right living in someone else's house, especially since her brother used to live in that house.

She would only be surrounded with more empty reminders of where he _was_ and she doesn't want that.

"Goodbye, Matt." she smiles, softly, before leaving him quickly.

* * *

As Matt slides into the back seat of the car, Elena glances back and smiles.

"What was she talking to you about, Matt?" she asks.

Matt shrugs once. "Her car."

Elena simply nods.

She sighs shakily. "I'm sorry about your neck, Matt..."

He shakes his head slightly, a small smile still resting upon his features. "Nah, it's okay. You needed to feed. I never thought I'd ever say this...But I guess it's what friends do...Now."

"I need to control it. I'm sorry." Elena quickly responds.

Jeremy sighs. "Can we not talk about this?"

It's so difficult for him to be around vampires, so speaking of them feeding makes it more difficult.

"Yeah – I'm sorry, Jer." Elena quickly says, with a soft smile upon her face.

It will take time but they'll get back to how they used to be.

They always do and so she knows that they will this time, because she could never lose her brother, he means everything to her.

* * *

Johanna had, for some time, considered driving away from Mystic Falls and never turning back.

However, as she drove towards Wickery Bridge an interesting thought entered her mind, an idea which could, possibly, help her in finding the information she needed to about her brother.

Alaric came to Mystic Falls for a reason.

Johanna is entirely aware of the reason and she intends to find out if he did find, and gain, what he was searching for.

It doesn't take her very long to find the Salvatore house – the Salvatore Boarding House. She'd stopped a man, riding his bike, and had asked him for directions to Damon's house. He'd told her instantly where she could find the Salvatore Boarding House. She hadn't known that Damon and Stefan were brothers and that they had their own Boarding House.

She had parked her car at the side of the road, near Wickery Bridge, because she didn't want to cause suspicion to the Salvatore's or anyone else passing their house that her car was parked outside their house because she would still enter their house regardless of whether they were home or not.

Johanna finds it slightly interesting, and intriguing, how close she believes that Damon and Alaric were. He seems as though he was the one who was most impacted by Alaric's death. He seems to care about him greatly and she believes that by going to their house they may be able to answer her questions and if not perhaps she may find the answers lying around inside.

Upon reaching the house Johanna knocks, several times, on the front, wooden door but she receives no response. And despite that she knows that it's probably better that she turn back, something is screaming at her in her head to go inside house because inside she could find the answers that she is so desperately seeking.

Johanna finds an easy entrance; a window, at the side of the house.

It isn't open, and appears to be locked from the inside, so she grabs a rock and smashes it open.

As she climbs through the cracked window, which she had at first intended to pay for but once inside she comes to view the lavishness of the house and decides that they should be able to pay for a little broken glass, a shard sticks into the side of her neck and tears at her skin slightly.

She doesn't tend to the cut because it is only minor and so she continues on with moving through the room.

She spends only a few minutes in this room, which has many lounges and tables, covered with paper, books, glass bottles of scotch and empty glasses.

She skims her eyes of the room finding nothing of interested.

However, it all feels vaguely familiar to her like she has dreamt of this place before, of this room, of these windows and the lounges.

She makes her way down a hallway which she finds herself quickly lost in and somehow she unintentionally finds herself beneath the ground in what at first Johanna believes to be a wine cellar but soon discovers that they are indeed cells.

She walks quietly down past these few cells as she wonders why they are here, and what happens down here – she wonders why anyone would need prison cells in their house. As she walks past the cells she glances in quickly through the bars, hoping that she isn't, at any moment, caught by either of the Salvatore brother's.

Johanna stops as she passes a cell on her right, something about it catches her attention. As she looks in through the small bars on the door she sees a coffin, a wooden coffin.

Without a moment of hesitation she unlocks the latch on the door and pushes open it open.

She quickly steps towards the coffin and kneels down beside it.

After removing the lid she comes to view a woman with blonde hair and pale grey skin. Her body is covered with dark black and purple veins. Johanna knows what she is as soon as her eyes fall down on to the dagger in her chest; she's a vampire.

But she has never seen a vampire staked with a dagger such as this, resting with the appearance, the colour, of what a dead vampire looks like.

Johanna's hands move slowly towards the dagger stuck in the woman's chest, she pulls it out quickly from her chest and steps back with the dagger still in her hand. Before her eyes, she watches this woman change slowly. Her skin becomes less dull, and fades away from the grey that it once was. The dark veins that cover every inch of her skin disappear too. She awakes, gasping, as though she is in desperate need of air.

Upon catching sight of Johanna, the vampire lunges towards her without a moment of hesitation or a second thought. She slams Johanna against the brick wall harshly and with her fangs showing clearly to Johanna she digs them deep into Johanna's neck, ripping the skin and sinking them in.

Johanna struggles underneath the vampire's strong grasp at first, and for a few seconds she finds herself helpless and stuck as the vampire drains her of her blood.

Johanna moves past the initial shock and finds her strength; she finds her strength in the memory of her brother.

In a quick, powerful movement that the vampire had not been expecting, she grabs her by the head and forcefully pushes her into the wall that she is pressed against.

Then, Johanna spins around and pins the vampire to the wall. She presses the dagger to her heart indicating that she will, if the vampire moves again, push it through her chest.

"What are you? A witch?" she asks Johanna, as she rests her head back against the wall behind her. "No, you're too strong for that. Then, what, a werewolf?" she continues, as she casts a quick look over the woman who is bleeding profusely from the neck and still holding the dagger to her chest. "Or…Are you a vampire?" she queries, as she holds the woman's gaze.

Johanna shakes her head, as she answers, "Not a vampire."

"Not a witch or a werewolf. Not a vampire or… You're one of _his_ hybrids, aren't you?" she says; there is a small smile twitching on her pale lips but, very quickly, the smile turns to a deadly one. "Nik sired you, didn't he? Luckily, I know more than one way to break a sire bond." she adds.

She speaks slowly and with a cruel tone before she grabs the human by the neck and snaps her neck, killing her instantly.

Rebekah looks down once at the pale bloodied dead human, lying in the pool of blood and dirt, before she quickly leaves, with the dagger and returns to her own house.

She knows that Nik will still be here, in Mystic Falls, because he wouldn't leave without his precious doppelgänger and they wouldn't have gotten the cure to make her human again. This time it will be different, she knows that much.

* * *

"_Come on, up here, Annie." Alaric whispers, to Johanna, as he climbs up the small staircase, which came down when he'd pulled the rope down, to the attic. "They won't find us up here."_

_Johanna isn't far behind him; she is only about halfway up the ladder when she sees Alaric hold out his hand, she takes it and he pulls her up into the roof with ease. Then, he pulls the stairs up and closes it. Earlier that day he'd carried food up here, and other supplies. They won't find them up here, in the attic, and even if they do they won't be able to get up. Alaric was sure to cut the rope, to the stairs, so they can't be pulled down._

_After pulling up the stairs, Alaric turns to Johanna who is standing still, waiting for him. _

"_Here…." he mutters, softly; he takes a few steps, to his left, and pulls out two, very thick, woolen blankets. _

_It's cold, up here in the attic, but they'll be okay. They'll make it through this together._

_Then, Alaric leads Johanna towards an old mattress, and several pillows, set up on top of the mattress. They sit down on the mattress and rest against the pillows; they cuddle up together, holding each other tightly. All they have is each other. They've only ever had and only ever counted on each other._

"_Don't let them separate us. I'll never let them take you away." Johanna whispers, softly, as she closes her eyes and rests her head down onto Alaric's shoulder._

_He nods, as he pulls her in, closer. _

_She's shivering, badly. _

_He lets her get underneath his blanket too, so that she will be warmer. _

_"I won't let it happen, Annie. I promise. You and me together; always and forever – It's us against the world."_

_Johanna opens her eyes now, to look up at Alaric and finds that he is already watching her. _

_He leans in a little closer and as his eyes turn a little darker he grabs her harshly by the throat and twists her neck._

Johanna wakes to reality gasping for air as though she hasn't taken a breath in days.

Her heart pounds rapidly in her chest as her eyes come into focus and she finds that she is lying on the dirty ground of the Salvatore basement, in one of their cells.

She remains there, on the ground, confused and dazed about how she woke – she wonders how she could have possibly woken alive after that vampire had attacked her and snapped her neck.

It doesn't feel real.

Nothing has felt real to her, not in a very long time – but then again she hasn't _really_, truly, felt anything in years.

Seeing Alaric, in the attic of their old house, felt real though.

It was a memory, a dream, but that wasn't how the real thing had happened. When they had rushed up to the attic Alaric hadn't snapped her neck, as the vampire had done. Alaric never did, and never would, have caused her harm.

She lifts herself slowly from the ground. Her head and her neck ache with a pain she hasn't felt before.

Perhaps, she considers for a brief second that she did die and this is her next life.

But then she pushes that thought completely out of her head because if she had died, and this was her next life, she would have certainly seen Alaric because if she was to go she would find him.

She stands very slowly from the floor. Her hand, which is gripping onto the wall so that she may stand, slips a few times causing her to stumble forward.

Finally, she regains her stance and is able to walk more than a few feet without the urge to fall down, trip, or collapse entirely.

Johanna feels weak, drained almost, and that's when she lifts her hand to the wound on the side of her neck and feels the blood gushing out.

It falls down her neck, and arm, and onto her chest and stomach.

She should stop, she knows that, and she isn't entirely sure how she's still moving, walking, or how she's still alive with all of this blood loss and with her neck being snapped – but somehow, she is. She finds it somewhere inside of herself to continue on; to not give in or give up.

Despite that Johanna has to, every now and then, remind herself to keep her eyes open, she walks at a surprisingly steady pace towards Wickery Bridge. She exits the Salvatore house through the front door, which she finds is already open, and finds that it is now raining outside.

A little water never hurt anybody but a downpour like this could cause a few problems.

The rain doesn't bother Johanna, instead she welcomes the cool, soothing droplets of rain which fall down on her skin and soothe her, calm her, and help her to momentarily forget what just occurred.

She walks a little slower now, due to the rain which has soaked every article of clothing that she is wearing.

She'll get back to her car eventually.

She has to.

And she'll find everything that she needs to know about Alaric's life here because he was her life, he was all that ever mattered to her and she needs to know how he lived his life here without her.

* * *

**A/N: Hi all :) Firstly, I would really just like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this story. It truly means so much to me and I doubt that I will ever be able to thank you enough.**

**I'd also like to say a special thanks to those kind people who reviewed and/or followed my story. Your support means so much and your kind reviews have inspired me and boosted my otherwise uncertain confidence about this story.**

**Like I said on the previous A/N, this story is going to really focus on bonds and how much they can be tested, how and if they can last the tests of time, and so I hope you stick around to watch these bonds form and follow the story, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.**

**Any thoughts, criticisms or anything at all about this chapter would be very much appreciated.**

**Again, thank you very much for reading & I hope you enjoy.**

**X**


	3. Shaky ground

******Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I'm lost; metaphorically, existentially._

The rain falls down tirelessly onto Mystic Falls.

It varies between a down-pour and gentle soft, drops of rain.

The sky remains as dark, dull and grey as it was earlier in the morning and gives no signs, no indications, as to whether the sun will be reappearing from behind the clouds anytime soon.

The rain has eased down for now and has fallen somewhere in-between a down-pour and gentle drops of water.

Stefan glances over at Elena who is beside him, in the passenger seat of his car. He watches her silently for a moment as he wonders what she is thinking of, and who, but soon decides that she is probably thinking about Jeremy.

He understands, to some extent, what she is going through; having a brother who you are so incredibly close to and then losing them and losing the closeness that you once felt.

What is the most painful to deal with, accept, and live with is losing them but having them still around you.

The closeness you once had is gone, the connection you held has disappeared but they remain, only but a glimpse, a small flicker of who they once were. And not being able to get them back, to who they were, and not being able to rebuild the bond you once held with them will kill a part of you.

But Elena only sees the positive side of this. She can only allow herself to think positive and truly believe that she will get Jeremy back and things will return to how they were. Stefan is determined to help her get her brother back because all of those many, many times that he lost Damon he knows he should have tried harder to get him back and he won't let Elena make the same mistake.

"Jeremy's going to be okay, Elena. He has you." Stefan tells her, reassuringly, as he directs his gaze back to the road.

They are approaching Wickery Bridge now but just before it, and just before Elena can answer, Stefan sees her; the woman he recognizes as Johanna walking on the side of the road slowly, and in the rain, with no cover, and then he sees the blood staining her body.

Stefan begins to pull over, so that he may get out and see if she's okay but Elena reaches out to grab his arm and stops him.

"Stefan….We don't know – We don't know who she is, or what she wants…What she knows, about us." Elena says, with a soft tone.

She's worried because Johanna can't be compelled so she must be on Vervain and therefore she must hold some knowledge of vampires.

She's asking so many questions, questions that cannot truly be answered without the revelation of all vampires, hybrids, hunters and werewolves in Mystic Falls. She can never know the truth about Alaric and all the many, many times he was killed, and died – she can't learn that he was a vampire, an Original Vampire Hunter, and that he was killed because his life was linked to Elena's.

"She could be hurt or injured, Elena." Stefan says, as he pulls the car onto the side of the road.

"You don't think – You don't think Damon did this, do you?" she adds, with a frown now on her features.

Damon is, at times, erratic, uncontrollable and untrusting and hurting Johanna because she reminds him of Alaric. It seems like a Damon thing to do but neither Stefan nor Elena want to believe that because they want to believe that he's changing, slowly, but it's hard to believe that when it's in regards to Damon changing.

"Stay in the car, then." Stefan answers.

He unlocks his seat belt, switches off the car engine, opens the door of his car and gets out.

After slamming the door he moves, so quickly, that he's in front of Johanna in seconds.

Now, as he stands in front of her and her blood stained body for a second he isn't entirely sure if he can control himself either, but he does.

Johanna doesn't jump in the slightest, at Stefan's sudden appearance in front of her. She looks at him with a pale face devoid of any emotion of expression or any indication that she is feeling any pain or fear.

Stefan says, with a low tone, "Johanna – My name is-"

"Stefan. I know." she replies, quickly, and without looking up at Stefan.

She attempts to step past him, to continue walking towards her car, but he moves with her, blocking her path.

"You're hurt – Do you need a lift? Can I help you?" he asks her, as his eyes flicker quickly, over her.

He finds instantly that the blood is coming from a tear in her neck; two small bites from a vampire.

"I don't need help, Stefan." Johanna answers, she speaks quickly and without any hesitation.

She doesn't need his help, or help from anyone else. What she needs, and what she so desperately wants, is to see Alaric again – she longs to see him, to hear him speak, to see his smile or hear his laugh.

"You're hurt, badly-" Stefan begins to speak, to tell her she's hurt and needs to be cared for because he's concerned for her.

But Johanna won't hear it.

She doesn't need to hear it and she certainly doesn't want to hear it.

She's been taking care of herself, for all of her life, and she will continue to do so, without any help.

"I don't need help." she says.

She steps to the side, moving past Stefan, and begins walking down towards where she remembers parking her car.

Stefan stares after Johanna silently for a moment as she continues walking down towards Wickery Bridge – he wants to go after her and take care of her because he feels in some way he owes it to Alaric to take care of her because she was his family and Alaric would have, if Stefan were to ever be killed, have taken care of Damon in his own way - not that anyone can,really take care of Damon but Alaric would've found a way.

"How is she?" Elena asks, as she watches Stefan get back inside the car.

He turns to face her, as he says, "She wasn't scared or fearful, or in any shock – she seemed fine."

Stefan reaches out for this phone, which he'd left with Elena, and takes it from her hand. He dials Damon's number and holds the phone to his ear. If Damon did this, and was unaware that Johanna couldn't be compelled, they could be in trouble.

Stefan restarts the car, drives it back onto the road and with the phone in his left hand they drive in the direction of the Salvatore House.

"Damon, where are you?" Stefan asks, he speaks the moment that Damon answers his phone.

"Hello to you, too, brother." Damon replies.

"Where are you?" Stefan questions, again.

Damon answers, quickly, "I'm at the Gilbert Household, babysitting. Why, Stefan? Did you get wet hunting bunnies?"

"Stefan….." Elena says, softly.

She interrupts Damon and Stefan's conversation because, as Stefan had pulled the car up to the house, she could see blood staining the ground at the front of the house.

Stefan follows Elena's gaze towards the blood and stays silent while Damon queries him sarcastically on the phone.

"I don't have all day, brother." Damon tells Stefan, after only receiving silence.

With a lower voice, Stefan finally answers, "There's blood."

Damon lets out a small sigh, before he asks, "So you are hunting bunnies?"

"No – at the Boarding house…." Stefan replies; his voice is louder now as his eyes move over the small droplets of blood which he can view from the seat of the car.

Now, Damon is the one who stays silent for a moment.

When Damon finally answers, he asks, "Blood?"

Stefan replies, quickly, "Yeah, Johanna-"

"Ugh." Damon says, he groans loudly, cutting Stefan off, he continues, "No. What about _Johanna_?"

Her name sounds bitter as it passes Damon's lips.

It's as though he resents her greatly and having to say her name or hearing her name spoken by another angers or frustrates Damon greatly.

"I passed her, at Wickery Bridge…." Stefan tells Damon, as he gets out of the car and walks towards the front door of the house. "She was bleeding."

"And you called because your first assumption was that I must have ripped into her? Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Stefan." Damon replies with an unreadable tone.

Stefan moves quickly, following the few spots and light trail of blood that leads him down to the cells beneath the house.

He finds himself in seconds in the cell which he'd left Rebekah's coffin in.

"She's gone." Stefan tells Damon, with a lower tone.

Damon lets out a deep sigh as he walks into the kitchen and half leans against the counter.

Damon replies, quickly, "Little vague, don't you think, Stefan? Considering that there are many 'she's' you could be referring to."

"Rebekah." Stefan says, with a lower tone. "Her coffin is open and she's gone….."

Damon sighs very loudly.

Jeremy appears unnoticed by Damon, behind him.

He remains silent as he raises his right hand to his creased brow and mutters, "Klaus is going to kill you, Stefan – no, he's going to kill _us_. Tell me, how I always get drag–"

Jeremy appears behind

"She had a mark." Jeremy states.

Jeremy casts a quick look over Damon who is dressed in a long, black sleeve, button up top and black leather pants.

"I saw it." Jeremy adds.

"What?" Damon asks, with a clear tone of annoyance.

He turns to face Jeremy who is standing still and with an impassive expression on his features.

Damon hears, in his ear, Stefan ask, "What did Jeremy just say?"

"I'm gonna call you right back, brother." Damon says abruptly, before ending his call with Stefan and looking up directly,at Jeremy.

Jeremy repeats, softly, "She had a mark."

"What is with people being so incredibly vague, today? Am I unaware of what day it is? Did I not get the memo? Is it let's-all-be-incredibly-vague-and-suspicious-day? You might want to be a little more specific about what exactly you saw." Damon says, holding Jeremy's firm gaze as he speaks.

Matt, who has just entered the kitchen behind Jeremy, observes Damon's expression; it's an expression of both calmness, and a rage, and Matt knows which one Damon is more likely to go into.

"She's a hunter." Matt states, stopping beside Jeremy.

Jeremy had confided in Matt that he had seen the marking on Johanna's wrist earlier when she had been at the house but he hadn't told another soul because he hadn't been sure what to do. Matt had eventually convinced Jeremy that telling Elena this would be a good idea.

A frown falls onto Damon's features as he takes a small step towards them.

"You're kidding." Damon states, frowning deeply for it is highly coincidental for another member of the Five to be in Mystic Falls.

"No." Jeremy answers, with a much lower tone. "I saw the marking on her wrist."

Damon hesitates as his eyes flicker briefly between Matt and Jeremy.

"Did it look like yours?" Damon questions.

"Yes." Jeremy nods. "But it was bigger. There was more – not much more. Maybe, three more kills."

"And you didn't think that this information could be useful before, I don't know, she killed one of us?" Damon asks, his voice rising angrily.

He's angry at Jeremy's failure to speak up about this and about his failure to care for Elena and her safety. If Johanna is indeed a hunter then they need to kill her and prevent her from becoming a threat just as they killed Connor.

Damon appears downstairs in the cellar with Stefan and Elena quicker than either of them had expected him to.

He wears a cold, hardened expression, as he sarcastically states, "I've got great news. Wonderful news, actually, that little Gilbert kept from us all day. Johanna is a hunter. He saw the mark on her arm."

"What?!" Elena asks, as she looks quickly from Stefan to Damon.

Damon takes a step forward.

"She's a vampire hunter, just like Connor was, and just like Jeremy is." Damon declares.

"She's one of the five?" Stefan asks, holding Damon's gaze.

Damon nods quickly as his eyes flicker briefly down to the cell that Rebekah's coffin was locked in. He looks over the blood painting the floors and the walls before lifting his gaze back up to meet Stefan's.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Stefan asks, as he holds his brother's gaze.

"We kill the hunter because we only need one. And she could be a threat to us." Damon says.

"Compel some poor bastard to do it." Damon adds, as begins moving upstairs towards the whiskey.

He halts as he hears Stefan's response.

"No. She could help us." Stefan says loudly.

Stefan's words stop Damon.

He halts slowly and turns even slower to face his brother, a look of complete disbelief resting on his face.

"You're kidding me, right?" Damon frowns. "She's a hunter. In what world could she 'help' us? It's simple. We rip her head off."

Elena takes a step forward.

"Jer is a hunter. He helps us." Elena replies.

Damon shakes his head, the frown still remaining on his face.

"That's different." Damon answers.

"She could help us, Damon." Stefan suggests.

"How could she possibly help us?" Damon asks, the anger rises in his tone because he cannot believe that his brother would be so stupid to believe that a hunter, who none of them have known until know would help them.

"Help us to our early deaths, maybe?" Damon suggests, his tone is much darker and bitter now.

"Being a hunter has changed Jer." Elena says, with a soft tone.

She looks directly at Damon as she continues speaking softly.

"What if…We didn't have to use him, to find the cure?" she suggests.

"What are you saying?" Damon asks, still frowning deeply.

"Johanna could kill the vampires instead of Jeremy." Elena suggests.

Her expression is that of a soft but optimistic one.

"Oh, yeah! Great idea, Elena." Damon says, sarcastically. "Next, we'll ask Klaus to help us bake cookies. What are – are you crazy?" he snaps back.

Jeremy has only been helping them to find the cure because he is Elena's brother and they have a bond, a connection, which makes him want to help her find the cure.

"Why would a vampire hunter help vampires?" Damon questions, he tilts his head to the side as he speaks. "Sorry if you forgot but that's what we are. We're _vampires_-"

"Elena has a good point, Damon." Stefan cuts in. "Being a hunter…It's changing Jeremy. And if we could prevent that we could save him." Stefan adds, with a lower tone.

Damon rolls his eyes slightly and releases a deep sigh.

"Come on. Now, the kid has purpose. What makes you think she'd help us anyway? Not like we can just ask her to." Damon says.

"We could gain her trust, become friends with her-" Elena softly starts,

"And then one morning we'll just drop the big V bomb on her." Damon says, with a sarcastic and bitter tone.

"No. I just – Jeremy….He's my brother, and if there's a possibility we can stop this – a possibility that we can stop him from becoming like Connor then I have to take it. I know, it's selfish, but it's something that I have to do, Damon." Elena tells him, almost pleading for this because she will do anything to save her brother and keep him with her.

"I'll make the first move. I'll – I know what I have to do, and I can do it…." she adds, with a lower tone.

"How exactly do you plan to do it then, Elena? Sure, you can gain her trust. Become BFF's – Have sleepovers, eat ice cream and share your feelings and talk about crushes - but how are you going to get her to kill vampires and draw the mark? And what's to say she doesn't know already what we are and is plotting our deaths as we speak." Damon snaps back sharply.

Stefan takes a step forward closer towards Damon.

"We can turn vampires and set them up for her to kill them, place them in her path. And we don't have to get her to draw the mark, Damon, when Jeremy can see it. If it helps us to get Jeremy back we should give it a try." Stefan says.

* * *

Johanna finds her car shortly after Stefan had appeared on the bridge, almost out of the air, and tried to offer his help. Even if she had wanted to accept his help she couldn't because she can't accept his or anyone else's help when she doesn't need it.

What she needs so badly is to not be lost.

She's been lost for years and so far she has found no signs or seen anything that may indicate that she may be finding her way out of this darkness that she was once without but is now completely swallowed up by.

Once Johanna is safe inside her car, and the doors are locked from the inside, she allows herself to feel the momentary panic which she couldn't face and couldn't allow herself to feel back at the Boarding house.

She pulls a bag out from underneath her seat and searches through it with shaking, bloody hands, for the medical kit she remembers packing but then remembers using all of the contents a few months ago. So instead she reaches into one of her many backpacks and pulls out a soft, thin blue scarf.

She then removes her top from her body, which is stained with blood, and throws it to the floor beneath her feet.

Next, she tears the scarf, ripping it so that it is in half. She attempts to wipe the blood from her neck with one half of the scarf but after failing to remove it all she uses the second half of the scarf as a bandage and wraps it as best as she can around her neck.

Only once the scarf is firmly stuck down onto the wound on her neck does Johanna allow herself feel – her cries are silent and short because she continues to gasp for air which she fears she may run out of at any moment.

She's confused, frightened, and entirely alone.

She is lost as she has no idea as to how she survived having her neck snapped.

She isn't frightened by the vampire who attacked her, she's more frightened that she is alive when she should be dead.

What also, to a very small extent, frightens Johanna is that as the vampire was breaking her neck, in that brief moment before her death, she wasn't fearful of death it was quite the opposite. She's frightened because in that second before she should have died she wanted to die. She had welcomed death, so very quickly and so easily, and she hadn't wanted to wake.

She was happy in that second because she would have been with Alaric instead of waking up stained with blood and surrounded by nothing but darkness and loneliness.

She is truly and completely alone in this world and that was why she had welcomed death because she wouldn't have been alone anymore.

* * *

Damon, who had stood filling his glass with whiskey, stops at the sound of Stefan's phone ringing in the pocket of his pants.

Stefan, who had been seated on the lounge only a few feet away from where Damon was standing, looks up as soon as the phone begins to ring.

He meets Damon's gaze briefly before he pulls out the phone to see that it is Klaus calling.

"Klaus." Stefan says, answering the phone with an impassive voice.

Perhaps, he is just calling but then again Klaus would never really 'just call'.

There would have to be a reason for it, a reason that Stefan would soon learn.

"Stefan, are you at the Boarding House?" Klaus asks.

Klaus' voice is unreadable to Stefan and this slightly worries him.

Stefan is hesitant to answer at first.

"Ah – yes, I am…Why is that, Klaus?" Stefan answers.

"Good. So am I." Klaus replies, ever so quickly.

Before Stefan can answer Klaus is inside the boarding house. He stands before Stefan and Damon with a small smile on his features. but his smile is that of a maddening one.

Klaus glances briefly between the brothers before, with a slightly tilted head, he announces, "I thought you'd be interested in what a little birdy told me."

"Let me guess – the little birdy was blonde, deadly and crazy?" Damon suggests.

As he finishes speaking he takes a very large drink of whiskey and then places the glass down with the others.

"So, you let her out then did you, Damon?" Klaus asks.

Despite Klaus' anger, and the rage which is no doubt underneath the surface, he manages to keep his cool composure.

Stefan cuts in, not allowing Damon an answer.

"Wait – You've seen Rebekah? She's still in Mystic Falls?" Stefan responds.

Klaus shifts his gaze from Damon to Stefan.

"It was truly a thrilling encounter." Klaus answers. "I'll say that much. She's quite determined on finding the cure for herself. Now, which one of you-"

Stefan shakes his head, as he insists, "We didn't let her out, Klaus."

"What I don't understand is why you would be so incredibly foolish as to release her after you assisted in driving the stake in to her heart?" Klaus questions. he continues to speak with a louder and more threatening tone, "Now, tell me why I shouldn't kill you, Stefan. I'm not in a particularly generous mood and I've got much to do so make it quick. I only need you to deliver the mark but I'm almost certain I could find another way to assist Jeremy in gaining in his mark at a faster pace and without you."

"Johanna released Rebekah." Stefan tells Klaus.

Klaus tilts his head to the side ever so slightly.

"Johanna Saltzman?" Klaus question.

"You know her?" Stefan asks, the frown on his features deepens as he speaks.

"We were acquainted." Klaus answers, carelessly. "Rebekah did speak ill of one of my hybrids which I supposedly sired to watch her-" Klaus begins, but stops as Damon speaks.

"All your hybrids are dead." Damon says, his tone is that of slight mockery at the fact that all of Klaus' hybrids are dead, except for Tyler, and that Klaus was the tool of destruction that ultimately led to their deaths.

This angers Klaus greatly and as he moves towards the door he says, "I'll kill her, then, after I finish-"

"I don't think you want to be doing that." Stefan tells him.

Stefan appears before Klaus in seconds.

"Oh, and why is that, Stefan?" Klaus asks

Klaus feigns interest towards whatever information that Stefan may have and use in his attempt to persuade him not to kill Johanna.

"She's a hunter." Stefan says, he hadn't wished to divulge this information to Klaus but it seems like the only way to keep her alive.

"One of the Five." Stefan adds.

Klaus does not remain silent very long.

"You're lying." Klaus sharply replies.

"I'm not." Stefan answers. "Jeremy saw the mark, on her arm. It's longer than his is. She's killed more vampires."

"Oh, well isn't that surprising." Klaus says, with the tiniest smile of amusement on his face.

He had spoken to Johanna earlier but had never suspected her to be a hunter or one of the five.

As Klaus steps towards the door, he declares, "You will deliver the mark, Stefan. Through which hunter you do so is of absolutely no concern to me. I've delivered the sword. Now, you will deliver the mark."

* * *

The rain which had for some time appeared as though it would continue on relentlessly had eased up and eventually stopped entirely.

Matt, who had finished his shift at the Grill only a few minutes ago, had decided that he would visit Elena and personally give her an update on Jeremy who was resting. He had tried to call Elena, many times, but after receiving no answer from her or from Stefan's number he had decided to drive to the Boarding House instead.

He was also interested in learning how Elena and Stefan had handled this new information about Johanna being a hunter.

For Matt, it didn't change anything on how he viewed her or what he thought of her; he thought that she was genuinely nice but he knew, from his history with Connor, that hunters could not be trusted and so he knew he couldn't allow himself to trust Johanna despite how nice she appeared to be.

He glances towards the side of Wickery Bridge, as he moves towards the Salvatore House, to find Johanna's car parked on the side of the road.

This is strange for him to see as he wonders why she would have parked the car there.

It also ignites a small spark of fear inside of him.

He wasn't exactly sure why he felt fearful and panicked but what he was sure was that he was fearful and panicked for Johanna, not of her. He worried what Damon may have done to her, upon learning that she was a hunter. Because he knew that Damon would do whatever he deemed to be necessary to protect and assist Elena and even if he were to deny it he would do what was necessary to protect and assist Stefan for their bond, tested and broken, has never disappeared entirely.

Matt pulls his car over to the side of the road and parks it before turning off the ignition completely.

He moves slowly and cautiously out of his truck and as he gets down onto the ground he believes it is more likely he will come across an empty car if Damon has been here.

As he reaches the car he leans in slightly towards the window on the driver's side – it happens so quickly that he doesn't have the time to react or to move away and even if he had the time he's not entirely sure he would've stepped away because, for some very strange reason, he doesn't fear Johanna.

As Johanna had heard footsteps moving towards the car and had viewed Matt in the rear-view mirror she'd pulled out the gun, which she'd placed underneath her car seat, and as he'd reached the window she'd aimed the gun at his head – she hadn't pulled the trigger though and had no intention of pulling the trigger.

She couldn't be sure of who he was, and what he was, and so she couldn't allow herself to be so foolish as to trust him.

"Jo- Whoa…Johanna…." Matt begins.

He stops briefly as his eyes move over her.

She's stained with blood and a wound on her neck. She has made an attempt to stop the bleeding but the blood has seeped through the scarf which has now uncovered part of her neck.

She moves quickly to cover herself up with a t-shirt on the passenger seat. She pulls it over her body as quickly as she can because doesn't, and never will, feel comfortable with anyone looking at her or her scarred body.

She lowers the gun only to pull the shirt over her body and once dressed she raises the gun back to where she had aimed it at his head.

From his expression, which holds the same concern and worry as moments earlier, Johanna can't tell whether he viewed her scars or not. He wouldn't have gotten a clear view anyway, not with all of the dry blood she is yet to clean off her body.

With his hands raised slightly in the air, Matt says calmly, "Johanna. It's me. It's Matt."

"I know who you are." she replies, quickly, and still with the gun pointed at him.

"You're hurt – You're bleeding, a lot." Matt says.

He holds Johanna's unwavering gaze for a moment before he speaks again.

"You need help." he says.

"I know." she answers.

The gun remains firmly in her hands as a frown creeps over her features.

"Don't you have school?" she asks suspiciously.

Matt glances down briefly at the gun in her hands and he sees now that her hands, which are also stained with blood, are shaking ever so slightly and she is unable to hold the gun completely straight.

"No…No." Matt shakes his head, "I don't. It's a weekend. What happened to you?"

"Same thing that happened to you – Girlfriend got a bit rough." she answers; her tone is a little louder now and the sarcasm in her voice is clear.

Johanna doesn't believe for a second that Matt's injuries were caused by his girlfriend getting 'too rough'. She never really believed that. Instead, she believes what she had never expected to come across in Mystic Falls; that there are vampires here and she believes that they may be linked to Alaric.

If they are linked to Alaric in anyway, Johanna is determined to find out. She isn't going to run away because she's been running for all of her life and she believes that now isn't the time to run.

Now, she has to stay and find out the truth about her brother and his life here.

She desperately desires to the answers to the questions which continue to plague her heart and mind.

Matt shifts in his stance, a little awkwardly, now as he realizes that Johanna doesn't believe his story.

Knowing that she doesn't believe him doesn't bother him too much, he still wants to help her.

He doesn't have to give her the information she wants or answer any questions she has. He only wants to help her and he knows exactly where he can take her. He'll take her to somewhere she can be safe, eat, clean herself up and sleep – to his home, that he lived alone in for so very long until he moved in with Jeremy.

Matt takes a small and cautious step towards Johanna before he says.

"Just let me help you. OK? I just want to help." he says.

"Why?" she replies, the suspicion and distrust rests on her features.

"Because if I was alone and hurt like you are I'd hope that someone would help me." Matt answers honestly.

She needs help, this much is clear, and he believes he can help her.

Johanna lowers the gun from where she had aimed it at Matt's head but does not release it from her hands or stand from the car.

She gives no indication that she will allow him to help her and instead stays watching him, from the seat of the car.

She watches him silently for a moment as she attempts to decide whether or not he can be trusted.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Johanna." Matt says, his tone is that of a soft and caring one.

"I'm not like that." he tells her, and this is his subtle hint, his way of telling her that he isn't a vampire.

Matt subtly tells her he isn't a vampire because he knows, from the wounds on her neck that it must be how she sustained the injuries. He won't confirm that there are vampires or any other supernatural creatures. He'll deny it and he'll try to convince her otherwise but he will let her know that he isn't one so that he may help her.

"Just let me help you, please. I just want to help." Matt adds, his voice continues to hold the same tone of softness and caring as it did earlier.

Johanna nods as she very slowly discards the gun on the passenger seat of her car.

"I'm choosing to believe you, in this moment, Matt." she says cautiously. "I hope you don't disappoint."

Matt nods, slowly, and with the smallest smile on his face he says, "I won't."

And for some insane reason that remains unknown to Johanna, she believes him. She doesn't know exactly what it is that makes her believe him or makes her place this miniscule amount of trust in this stranger – but the odd thing is that he doesn't feel like a stranger to her.

* * *

**A/N: Hello :) I'd just want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my story, it truly means so much to me and I hope you enjoy reading this.**

**Okay, so as you will know from reading this chapter - a revelation about Johanna has come out. She is a Hunter of The Five. Before it is said, yes I know that in the show it is the ****brotherhood**** of the Five, and so consists of males only, but this is fan fiction , and this is my story, and I thought it would be a very cool twist if there was a first female of the Five. It would also prove to be confusing for those in the story (eg. Damon, Klaus, Stefan & etc.) as they never knew of any female hunters before. So, I hope that someone out there enjoys this twist in my story.**

**I apologise for any spelling errors I may have missed.**

**A special thanks to Tvdlover87654, SophStratt, Little Miss Novella & zohrax3 for reviewing my story. Also, thanks to those who have been so kind to follow or favourite. It means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy.**


	4. Blind fools

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_When people see good, they expect good; and I don't wanna have to live up to anyone's expectations._

"You should sit down here. " Matt says, with a soft and kind voice as he directs Johanna towards a seat.

He had quickly driven towards his place, to the place that he had once called home but it wasn't home to him anymore. It was an empty building filled with empty, painful memories and reminders of the life he once had.

In a way, Matt was relieved to be staying with Jeremy because he wasn't entirely alone anymore.

Matt wasn't sure how Johanna had managed to drive her car back to his house, but somehow she had managed to do so without crashing. She was stronger than he thought she would be, after being attacked by what he assumed as a vampire.

As Matt had parked his car outside his place, he'd jumped out and rushed to her side. He found her a little less stable and she was more willing to let him help her now. She couldn't deny that she didn't need assistance, because she didn't have the proper medical supplies or equipment for the wound on her neck.

Johanna believed Matt would not only have medical supplies she could use but he may also hold the answers to the currently unanswered questions which swirled around in her mind constantly.

Upon hearing Matt's instructions, Johanna nods and takes a seat on the closed toilet in the corner of his bathroom. Once seated, she lowers her head down into the hands and releases a log sigh. She sets her elbows on her knees and shuts her eyes.

An incessant, throbbing pain continued to pound in her head and she wanted it to stop, to go away, but it wouldn't.

This pain wasn't from the bite to her neck. She believed is was because her neck was snapped.

"I'll be right back." Matt announces.

On his return to his place, he had called Jeremy and asked him to come over immediately because he believed that Jeremy would be able to help in some way. He thought that Jeremy could help because he and Johanna were hunters. She might talk to him.

Jeremy had driven quickly towards Matt's place, he wasn't entirely sure what it was he was going to help Matt with because he had been incredibly vague on the phone but it had sounded like Matt needed his help and Jeremy would always help him, however he could, because they were best-friends and he would do anything for him.

Upon his arrival Jeremy finds Matt in the kitchen, which is only a few feet to the left of the door.

He finds Matt speedily searching through drawers and cupboards.

Matt glances back at Jeremy as the sound of the door shutting echoes in the silent house.

"Thanks for coming, man." Matt calls out.

"Anytime. What is it?" Jeremy asks.

But as Jeremy steps towards Matt he finds that his hands are smeared and stained with dry blood.

"Matt, you've got blood – " Jeremy starts.

"It's not mine, man." Matt replies, turning towards Jeremy. "It's Johanna's blood." he says, with a hushed tone.

"Johanna? As in Johanna the Hunter?" Jeremy checks, his brow creasing.

"She got attacked. She's bleeding, badly." Matt tells him.

The two begin moving down the corridor and towards the bathroom that Matt left Johanna in.

"Attacked by who?" Jeremy questions, his body clearly stiffening up at the mention of the word 'attacked.

Jeremy noticeably stiffens up at this because he knows that, almost always, when a person is 'attacked' in Mystic Falls a vampire is to blame. But Johanna isn't just an average person; she's a hunter, one of the Five, and Jeremy believes that if she were to be attacked by anyone it would have been Damon and he would have done it in an attempt to protect Elena.

"That's why you're here." Matt announces. "She won't tell me." he says.

"I don't – Why would she tell me?" Jeremy questions.

And then it dawns upon him.

"Because she's like me." Jeremy sighs.

Upon reaching the bathroom door Matt turns to Jeremy.

"She needs help, man. We have to help her." Matt whispers.

"Okay." Jeremy quickly replies.

Matt pushes the bathroom door open and enters, Jeremy follows closely behind.

When he sets his gaze down upon Johanna he finds her almost unrecognisable.

Her hair has fallen messily over her face, which is still resting in her hands. She lifts her head slowly and meets their gaze with her own wary eyes.

She doesn't want to be here, this much is obvious.

She doesn't want to be in this situation either, a situation where she has to rely on someone else.

"Here…I've got a med kit…" Matt says.

He sets the med kit down beside the sink and opens it, silently and quickly searching through the contents.

As Matt rifles through the contents of the med kit Johanna stands from the toilet and casts a quick look over Jeremy. She stops instantly as her eyes fall upon the marking on his wrist.

His eyes fall upon the marking on her wrist and the two of them stand in a new silence as their eyes eventually meet.

"You're like me." Jeremy says.

He speaks loudly but he's not really sure why he said 'you're like me'.

It was the first sentence that came into his head and to some extent it is the truth. She is like him in the way that they are both hunters, of the Five, but so far that is the only way that he knows that she is remotely like him.

She could be more like Connor, and be different to Jeremy, but as he thinks of it he doesn't believe he is truly _that_ different from Connor. He had tried to be different, from Connor, at the beginning but it is still so incredibly difficult to try to fight the urges, to kill vampires, and the voices that never truly leave him alone.

In a swift and unexpected movement Johanna pushes Jeremy backwards and into the wall, beside the open door. She holds him there against the wall keeping him still using only her left arm to do so.

"No, I'm not. I'm not like you at all." Johanna answers.

She doesn't know Jeremy well, if at all – she only knows his name and that he had some connection to Alaric, and now she knows that he has the same marking as she does.

But that doesn't make her like him because she believes with almost complete certainty that she has done far worse things than he has and therefore they couldn't be like each other. He would certainly be a better person than she was.

Despite the revelation that they both hold the same markings, on their arms, Johanna is still hesitant of Jeremy just as she continues to silently be hesitant, in some ways, of Matt. In her life she has only ever trusted Alaric. She can't afford to trust anyone else again. The risks are too high, and pain is almost always certain.

"Johanna, let him go." Matt calmly says.

"What happened to Alaric?" Johanna asks.

She doesn't have much patience left, not after what occurred at the Salvatore House.

"What happened to your neck?" Jeremy counters.

He manages to push Johanna backwards away from him, but he manages to do this as gently as he can to ensure that he doesn't hurt her because he has no intention of hurting her.

Johanna shakes her head, a slight smile forms on her features.

"You answer mine and I'll answer yours." she replies sharply.

"Doesn't work like that." Jeremy replies.

He straightens up and holds her firm gaze.

"I think it does." she answers coldly.

"I can't help you, with Alaric." Jeremy says.

His tone is that of a soft one and an almost sympathetic one because he does feel sympathetic towards her in the way that she'll never have the answers she needs about her brother's death.

He wants to tell her about Alaric's death because she's a vampire hunter, like him, he wants to tell her about Alaric's death and his involvement with the vampire's in the town. He wants, so badly, to kill the vampires in this town but he has to restrain himself from killing all of them and so he will restrain himself from telling Johanna about Alaric's many deaths and the cause of his final death.

"I think that you can." Johanna answers.

"He died, Johanna. He's dead. There's nothing you can do to change that, or fix it. Leave it alone. Let him rest peacefully." Jeremy says, unintentionally raising his voice.

Johanna takes a step back away from Jeremy and as he finishes speaking she lowers her gaze from his eyes. She turns slowly to face Matt, who has set out all she will need for the gash on her neck. He has set out, on the sink in the bathroom, a few dry bandages, a slightly damp cloth to wipe away the blood and an antiseptic cream.

After eyeing off the cream and other items set out on the bench she looks up to Matt.

"Thank you.." she says weakly.

"You're a hunter, aren't you?" Jeremy asks, stepping somewhat cautiously towards Johanna.

"Like me." he adds.

He walks with a slight caution because she is stronger than him, her mark is longer meaning she killed a few more vampires than he has. She has more experience than he does.

She ignores Matt and Jeremy and instead begins wiping the blood away from her neck and shoulder.

"Johanna?" Jeremy says.

"I'd rather not talk about this." she says, still focusing on wiping the dried blood away.

"But you are one." Jeremy states.

She continues to avoid their gaze and instead focuses her eyes on her neck.

"You can see the mark, can't you?" she asks.

"Yes." Jeremy answers.

"Then, you have your answer." she says simply.

Matt exhales heavily. "What did you come to Mystic Falls for?" he asks.

Silence follows.

She draws in a sharp breath.

"Alaric." she says finally.

"So, you're a hunter who came to Mystic Falls with absolutely no intention to hunt vampires?" Jeremy asks.

He wants to know how she came to be a hunter and how she knew that she would find another hunter here. He wants to find out all that she knows about Mystic Falls and the supernatural who inhabit it.

What he also finds curious is her bond with Alaric; he has many questions about that but he finds that now might not be the most appropriate time to be asking these questions when there are other questions which need answers.

"So there are vampires, in Mystic Falls?" Johanna asks, raising her eyebrow slightly as she speaks.

She receives no response.

"Well..." she starts. "I can, clearly, see the holes in my neck as a result of an encounter with a vampire. So, I suppose I have the answer to that question. And, just because I didn't come with the intention to hunt vampires doesn't mean I haven't found a desire or intention to do so now."

"Who attacked you?" Jeremy questions.

"I didn't have the pleasure of meeting the lovely woman, before she-" Johanna begins, but she, abruptly, comes to a stop.

She can't speak to them or to anyone else about how the vampire snapped her neck because she shouldn't be alive, she should be dead, and she knows that it is best not to say a word about it to anyone until she finds out why for herself.

The only person she would consider speaking to about it is Alaric but she won't be speaking to him anytime soon.

Jeremy, who is still frowning, begins to asks, "What? Before she-"

"Disappeared." Johanna answers.

Matt, who also has a slightly creased forehead, asks, "A female-"

"We're done, here." Johanna says loudly.

She tries to step past Matt but he blocks her path.

"You can't leave, Johanna." Matt says, with a kind and understanding tone.

Hearing his tone this tone filled with a caring that she has not heard in years and has never heard from anyone in her life besides Alaric, confuses Johanna because she doesn't understand why someone like Matt, a good person, would want to help her.

"Not yet." Matt continues, with a lower tone. "You're still hurt." he adds.

"I've had worse." Johanna says.

Because she has had worse.

Matt shakes his head slightly. "Just stay tonight, please? Get some rest. Eat something. Then, in the morning-"

"I'll be gone." Johanna cuts him off.

She will leave in the morning because it's what best, not for her but for him because she doesn't want anything to happen to him because he tried to help her.

"You'll be gone." Matt repeats.

After getting Johanna a clean towel Matt and Jeremy leave her alone to have a shower and remove the blood from her skin.

What they don't know, what Johanna is painfully aware of, is that the blood will never truly leave her. It may disappear from the surface of her skin and may no longer linger on her for others to see but it remains there; she can see it always staining her body and it will never fade or falter with time.

The blood will remain always, because she deserves a reminder of what she has done and what she has failed to do and the blood is her painful reminder of that.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Jeremy asks, watching Matt search through cupboards in the Kitchen.

There is still some food left, despite that Matt left a few weeks ago, but it is either stale or looks as though it will cause food sickness of some sort.

"Man, can you – can you get me some bread, and stuff? No, actually, can you stay here?" Matt suggest.

He turns towards Jeremy and picks his keys up off of the table.

"Why do you care?" Jeremy asks.

He blurts out this question without hesitation and without a second thought because he has been wondering why it is that Matt is doing so much for someone he doesn't know, at all.

"What?" Matt frowns.

"Why are you helping her?" Jeremy questions, bluntly.

"She needs it." Matt shrugs.

"From you?" Jeremy asks.

And it's not that he doesn't want to help Johanna, because he does, but he thinks that they should approach this situation with more caution considering who she is.

"From me – from us." Matt says. "Come on, man. It's not like she's a killer."

"Really?" Jeremy sighs. "She's a hunter, Matt. She's had to kill some vampires to get the mark."

"Luckily, I'm not a vampire." Matt replies casually.

"Yeah, but you know who is? Elena. It's not safe for her, or for you." Jeremy counters.

"I don't know why this is bothering you so much, man. I thought you'd understand, since she's like you." Matt answers, quickly.

"I'm controlled. I can control myself. We don't know if Johanna is controlled.. or if she is complete chaos." Jeremy says softly.

Matt releases a much louder, frustrated sigh, before he lowers his head slightly.

"Look, can you just watch her for fifteen minutes, that's it? That's all I'm asking you to do." Matt replies.

Jeremy hesitates before eventually agreeing to watch Johanna.

As Matt leaves his house, with his car keys in his hand and his wallet in his pocket, he pulls out his phone from his left pocket and reluctantly dials Damon's number – Matt knows that Jeremy is not comfortable with this situation but Matt doesn't particularly like the idea of Johanna being alone tonight and he also doesn't like the idea of Jeremy being alone and so he has decided to call upon Damon Salvatore.

"What do _you_ want?" Damon asks.

Damon answers the phone quickly and Matt can almost imagine the impatient and annoyed expression on Damon's face as he speaks.

"Can you look after Jeremy tonight?" Matt asks.

He moves towards his truck and upon reaching it he slides into the driver's seat and shuts the car door.

"As appealing as the idea of babysitting sounds.. No, I don't think so." Damon answers so quickly.

"I can't do it-" Matt begins.

But he is cut off by Damon.

"And what makes you think I can? And even if I could, why would I want to do it?" Damon asks.

Damon's voice rises slightly, and as it does Matt is almost certain he can see the unimpressed and impatient look on his face.

"Do it for Elena." Matt says.

Instead of receiving a sarcastic, bitter, or rude response, Matt receives silence.

The silence, however, only lasts for a minute until Damon speaks again.

"What makes you think I'd do it for you, or for Elena?" he asks; his voice is surprisingly clear of sarcasm or bitterness and is not rude but rather an impassive tone.

Matt hesitates, before answers, "You want to keep her safe-"

"I'll be over at six." Damon replies.

And this is all he says before he ends the call.

* * *

The water which fell softly from the shower head soothed Johanna's raw, sore and bruised skin. Her injuries weren't bad. She can painfully remember having much worse injuries. However, she can never remember having her neck snapped before and waking up from death.

Her head continues to pound as the water covers her entire body; it soaks into her skin and washes the crimson off of her body.

When she has finished washing Johanna turns off the water and reaches for the towel which she quickly wraps around her body. She runs her fingers through her damp hair before she notices something that Matt must have placed in the room when he'd placed her towel down.

Resting on top of one of the white marble benches in the bathroom is an oversized grey and blue t-shirt and a pair of long grey sweat pants. She also finds a pair of woollen grey socks, which look so very welcoming and warm.

There is also one of Johanna's bags from the car – Matt must have searched through her car because he picked the bag that holds her clean clothes and underwear if she were to prefer something of her own.

But Johanna doesn't prefer something of her own.

She very much likes the grey and blue t-shirt and the sweatpants. After very quickly getting dressed she dries her hair as best as she can with the towel and then folds it and neatly places it on the edge of the sink.

Next, she carefully dries the wound on her neck before cleaning it with antiseptic cream and covering it with a small, dry bandage. She does this quickly as it isn't the first time and it won't be the last that she's had to take care of herself.

"Thank you, for the clothes, Matt." Johanna calls out, as she opens the bathroom door and begins moving down the hallway.

She expects to find Matt in the kitchen or to hear his response but instead she comes across Jeremy, who is seated at the table.

"He stepped out, for a minute." Jeremy says.

He casts a quick look over her before he gestures towards a red mug resting on the small, wooden, kitchen table.

"That's for you. Coffee…Didn't know if you liked it." Jeremy says.

"Thank you." Johanna says, simply.

She sits down slowly at the table.

"When did you find out, about your mark?" Jeremy asks, curious as to how she found hers.

"It's a long story." she replies.

And that's all she says because she doesn't feel the need to confide in anyone the story of how she found her mark.

"Where did he step out to?" Johanna questions.

She asks this because she, after a moment, believes he may have stepped out to alert someone to her whereabouts.

It's not that she doesn't trust Matt because she does, in her own way, but her own way isn't really a form of trust if she thinks about it. She believes that one day she could trust him and that is truly the best that she can do right now. It's just that she knows what happens to Vampire Hunters; she's seen firsthand what vampires will, if given the chance, to do a hunter and so she can never truly let her guard down.

"He went to get some food, for you." Jeremy replies, casually.

Johanna stiffens up slightly.

She sits up straighter now and pushes her mug to the side.

"He didn't have to do that." she says.

"That's what I said." Jeremy answers.

"You said it yourself, I'm like you." Johanna says, slowly and almost reluctantly meeting Jeremy's gaze.

"Are you?" he questions, tilting his head slightly to the side.

Johanna hesitates before she replies, "You're hostile. Defensive. If we're like each other-"

"I need to protect my family, and my friends." Jeremy answers, his tone unintentionally rising.

"I have no intention of hurting those who don't give me a reason to do so. I just want answers." she says.

"Answers that we can't give you because we don't have them." Jeremy replies.

They can't tell her that Alaric was turned into an Original Vampire hunter and attempted to kill all vampires in Mystic Falls and might have succeeded had it not been for Elena and Matt driving off Wickery Bridge. These answers they can't give her.

"You know," Johanna begins.

She stands abruptly from the table as she speaks.

"You continue to say that but it doesn't make me believe it." she replies.

Jeremy releases a very small, quick breath of air, before he answers.

"Believe what you want to, Johanna. But we can't give you those answers because we don't have them." Jeremy says.

Just as those last words pass Jeremy's lips, Matt returns carrying three brown bags of groceries. He suggests to Johanna that she get whatever she needs to out of her car and move it into the garage at the side of house – just a precaution, that Matt thought of on his way home. It's just a way of ensuring that whatever vampire attacked her doesn't come across her here. It's so she can sleep peacefully.

As Johanna leaves, to drive her car into the garage, Matt turns to Jeremy and tells him his plans for the night.

Jeremy shakes his head, slightly, as he says, "You can't stay with her, alone. Who knows-"

"I'm staying, Jeremy." Matt says. "I called Damon, to watch over you."

"Ohh…." Jeremy groans. "Damon, really?"

"It's the best I could do, at late notice. And besides, it's for one night." Matt says, beginning to unpack groceries from the bags.

"One night?" Jeremy asks.

Matt turns towards Jeremy.

"One night." he repeats.

"Okay." Jeremy sighs. "I'll message you, later tonight." Jeremy says, stepping towards the front door.

Matt nods smiles. "Alright, man. Talk to you, then."

Johanna returns to the kitchen to find Jeremy long gone, as she had expected he might be. He didn't trust her, she knew that, she understood that and in all honesty she couldn't care less if he trusted her or not.

She didn't come to Mystic Falls with the intention to make friends, or to gain another's trust. She came to Mystic Falls to find her brother and since she would not be finding him here anytime soon, she would find out what his life and his death were like and perhaps it would bring her some form of peace or closure which continued to remain unknown to her.

Perhaps, she would find a peace here that she has never known before but only dreamt of - this would only come with finding out all that she could about her brother's life here.

After locking the front door and bolting it shut, Johanna joins Matt in the kitchen. He has his back to her and doesn't turn around at the sound of her footsteps, only a few feet away.

"What are you doing?" she asks him, softly.

He turns to face her briefly, with a small smile, before returning to whatever it is he is tending to on the bench before him.

"Making you something to eat." he replies.

Johanna releases a small sigh.

"I'm capable of doing that." she answers.

"Yeah, I know that." Matt replies, turning back towards her with a smirk still on his face. "It's just for tonight. Don't get too used to it."

This causes a smile, the only real smile he's ever seen on her, to appear on Johanna's face and it remains there as she answers

"Oh, don't worry, I won't. I've learnt to never get used to anything in life." she answers.

"Is that so?" Matt asks, turning back to the bench.

"Yeah, it is. Everything in life is unpredictable and unreliable. You can't really, truly, rely on much, can you?" Johanna asks.

"You can rely on friends." Matt says simply, and that's all that he says until he has finished with dinner.

He doesn't hear another word from Johanna until he turns around with two plates in his hands.

He places the plates down, one before her and one where he will sit, and then searches through the fridge until he pulls out two cans of orange soda.

"Sorry, they're just sandwiches….." he begins.

She cuts him off.

"Don't. They're great. Thanks, Matt." she says, as she observes the sandwich.

"One half is peanut butter, the other jelly. I didn't know if you liked the two, combined…." Matt mutters.

He opens both cans of drink and places one down in front of Johanna.

Matt sighs as he takes his seat across from her.

"Enjoy." he says.

"What are you getting out of it?" Johanna questions.

The question comes so unexpectedly that Matt frowns immediately as the words pass her lips.

He doesn't quite understand, so she continues.

"Keeping me as bait, so she can come back?" Johanna asks, tilting her head sideways.

She holds Matt's gaze.

"No one's coming, Johanna – I'm not keeping you as bait." he says, putting his sandwich back down on the plate.

"They wouldn't want to." she answers.

"What does that mean?" Matt questions.

The frown rests still on his features.

"It means I'm prepared for the worst, for the inevitable." Johanna answers, slowly meeting his gaze.

"You don't always have to prepare for the worst because it's not necessarily inevitable. Sometimes, the worst doesn't happen. Why – Why are you like this? I don't understand." Matt sighs. "You can trust me, Johanna. We've been through this. You're a good person, and I see that-" Matt begins.

She almost believes his words.

She almost wants to believe them.

But then she is reminded of all that she has relied on in her life, all that has failed her, and she is painfully reminded of how Alaric attempted to rely on her but she wouldn't allow him because she couldn't understand then what she understands now.

"Don't say that." Johanna says, simply.

Matt replies softly, "Don't say what?"

"That I'm a good person." Johanna answers.

She doesn't hesitate because she doesn't need to consider these words, because she doesn't believe herself to be a good person at all.

"I'm just saying what I see is clear." Matt counters, quickly. "You're a good person, in need of some help. I want to help-"

"When people see good they expect good. And I've never lived up to anyone's expectations before and I never will." Johanna replies.

She speaks quickly but not with a tone of anger rather an impassive tone that Matt cannot begin to understand the complexity of.

A silence falls between them; a silence that does not sit well with either of them.

Johanna breaks the silence.

She clears her throat as her gaze falters between the wooden table and Matt.

She finally meets his gaze and sighs.

"Look, I'm sorry, Matt. I'm sorry you got dragged into this. You're a good person." she states.

"Oh…." Matt sighs, a smile spreading on his face. "So you can say that I'm good, but I can't say it about you?"

Johanna cannot help the smile that spreads on her own lips.

"Yes." she answers.

"Why is that?" Matt asks.

After he finishes speaking he takes a bite of one half of his sandwich, and waits for Johanna to answer.

"You remind me of him." she says, and her voice is filled with such softness, and almost peace, as she says those words.

"Who?" Matt asks.

While holding his gaze the smile falters from her face and when it reappears it is a much sadder smile.

"Alaric." she almost whispers.

"He had a good heart. He was always willing to help, regardless of who the person was, just like you are. Even if the person he was trying to help had the potential of creating chaos." Johanna adds.

She takes a bite of her own sandwich.

Matt shifts somewhat awkwardly in his seat, before he coughs to clear his throat.

"You, er..Heard that?" he asks.

Johanna nods once.

"I heard it. It doesn't bother me though because he's right." she calmly answers.

"I don't think so." Matt replies, sounding confident.

Matt doesn't think that Jeremy's right, he doesn't believe that Johanna will create chaos. He thinks that Jeremy is worried about Elena's wellbeing and that is why he has jumped to these assumptions about her.

Johanna curiously tilts her head to the side.

"You don't?" she asks.

"No, I don't." Matt replies.

He answers without hesitation because he doesn't feel any hesitation.

Johanna nods and straightens up her posture.

She takes a small sip of soda and sighs.

"Thank you."

"For the sandwich?" he questions, still with a small smile. "It isn't –"

"No, not for that. For this….For being so- for everything." she says.

Matt nods at this and half smiles. "You know, you said everything in life is unreliable…."

"It is." she answers, before taking another bite of her sandwich which is delicious and well made.

"No, not all of it is." Matt says, shaking his head. "I'm not."

Johanna raises her eyebrows ever so slightly.

"Is that so?" she asks.

The two fall into a silence, but only for a very brief moment, before Johanna speaks.

"Why are you doing this? The real reason, Matt." she says.

"The real reason?" Matt asks.

He leans back in his chair as he speaks, hesitating before he continues.

"You remind me of someone." he admits.

"Who?" Johanna asks.

She leans back in her own chair and crosses her arms.

"My sister, Vicki…She was-" Matt begins, but he stops as he isn't entirely sure how to finish that sentence.

"Chaotic?" Johanna suggests.

"No, not that…" Matt replies, shaking his head slightly.

He lowers his head and releases a breath of air he hadn't been aware that he was holding in.

When Matt finally meets Johanna's gaze, he smiles sadly.

"She was good hearted. She had good intentions, good hopes and dreams, she just….She needed help and I couldn't- I didn't help her when it mattered." he replies softly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Matt. I really am." Johanna says, with a genuine tone of sadness.

"Don't be." Matt replies.

More silence passes.

"Maybe I could rely on you?" she quietly suggests.

Matt raises his eyebrows slightly.

He half smiles with hope.

"You think so?" he asks.

"I mean…" Johanna begins.

She stops briefly to allow herself to find the right words to continue with – but there are never really right words.

"I could get used to staying here, for a little longer…While I'm in town." Johanna adds, still holding his gaze.

Matt, who smiles upon hearing these words, asks, "You think so?"

"I do." Johanna replies. "I don't know if you'll get used to me, though."

Matt grins wider at this. "No, I think I will."

"Sure, you'll stick round for a while but then you'll leave because they always do." Johanna says casually, like it's nothing, like she's so used to people leaving that it doesn't bother her anymore and she doesn't care.

"I don't know who 'they' are but I'm not like the others." Matt tells her, in all seriousness.

Then the smile reappears on his features as he stands from the table.

"Don't get used to the meals, though. You're capable." Matt says quickly.

Her grin widens at this.

"I'm more than capable." she replies.

"Yeah?" Matt asks, stepping towards her with a smile. "Well, dessert is on you tonight."

* * *

**A/N: Hi all. I just want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my story, and those who favourite. It means a lot to me. I apologise for any spelling errors in this chapter. Thank you to the very kind people who review my story, your words are really kind and inspiring.**

**I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading. X**


	5. Scars and secrets

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I have a secret, a big one. But I've never said it out loud. What's the point? It's not gonna change anything. It's not gonna make me good._

Johanna rises with the morning sun.

She wakes where she fell asleep, on the couch in Matt's living room. Small cracks of sunlight have managed to seep through the blinds. The room is quiet and the light is soft and warms her skin, she basks in it for a moment as she leaves her head resting down against the soft green pillow it lies upon.

She watches the sun silently for a moment before she decides to stand. Johanna rises slowly from the couch, releasing a small yawn as she does. She stretches her arms, and her legs, before she stands and steps towards the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, she finds a small note with writing scribbled on it.

Johanna wakes, where she had fallen asleep on the couch in Matt's lounge room, to find the sun seeping through cracks in the closed blinds.

She picks it up and reads it quickly:

**I didn't want to wake you but I'll be at school all day. Eat whatever you want, watch whatever you want on TV. See you this afternoon – Matt.**

She places the note down on the table once she has finishes reading it. Then, she returns to the living room and rummages through her bags until she finds a black tank top and a brown leather jacket. She slides them on, and then pulls on a pair of dark blue jeans and brown boots.

Johanna tidies up the living room, packs up her bags and heads outside. She doesn't feel comfortable leaving her stuff hanging around Matt's house while she's not there, and she doesn't plan to spend today cooped up inside.

She places her bags in the back of her car, locks it up and shuts the garage.

Johanna's first thought was to visit Alaric's grave today, she recalls spotting some weeds that she forgot to pull out from the grass surrounding his grave.

But as she reaches the road and begins moving down towards the direction of the graveyard, which is a fair walk away, she looks up to see a similar face running towards her; Elena Gilbert.

As she catches sight of Johanna, Elena, who had been jogging with headphones on, smiles and runs in her direction.

"Johanna, right?" Elena calls out.

Johanna nods. "Yes?"

"I'm Elena-" Elena begins.

"I know." Johanna simply answers.

Elena smiles. "You know, uh..The other day – I wasn't as helpful as I could have been. Alaric is just..It's really hard to talk about him. But if you're interested, I pulled together some of Alaric's belongings."

Johanna nods impassively. "Did you?" she asks, watching her closely.

Elena's smile remains. "Yeah, I was thinking that if you wanted to you could come back to where I'm saying and see them?"

Johanna tilts her head slightly sideways. "Really?"

Elena nods enthusiastically. "Yeah," she smiles, "We could have coffee, or tea, if you'd like."

With some reluctance, Johanna agrees – but she only agrees because she wants to see Alaric's belongings and she's also curious as to Elena's sudden interest in showing her Alaric's things.

Johanna pauses. "Okay."

Elena nods. "Great. It's this way."

Elena leads Johanna back towards the Salvatore Boarding house, much to Johanna's surprise. It's easy for Johanna to pretend that she's never been here before, that she didn't have her neck snapped in here.

As they enter the house, Elena tells Johanna that she lives here with Stefan and Damon Salvatore. Johanna simply nods, and follows Elena inside down a small set of stairs and towards a room filled with large looming bookshelves, two couches facing each other, and a large fireplace.

"Coffee? Tea?" Elena offers.

"No, thanks. Can I See my brother's things?" Johanna asks, sounding almost impatient like she doesn't want to be here.

"Sure." Elena smiles. "I'll go get them."

Elena moves quickly upstairs towards Stefan's bedroom. She enters to find Stefan seated at his desk, writing something down in his journal.

Without glancing up at Elena, Stefan speaks. "How's it going?

Elena reaches for the box on the end of Stefan's bed.

"Not so well." Elena sighs. "She isn't – Well, it's difficult, Stefan. She's very, oh I don't know.."

"Straight to the point?" Stefan suggests.

Elena nods before she releases another, longer sigh. "I really believed it could work but it's not. I thought I could save Jer but maybe I can't. Maybe this is wrong."

Stefan stands from his seat and steps towards Elena.

He reaches out for her arms and soothes her shoulders.

"You can save him, Elena. I know you. I know you would never let anything or anyone hurt him. Just be yourself, Elena. Be the person I know you are. And remember why you're doing this."

Elena returns downstairs to find Johanna resting on the edge of one of the large couches. As she catches sight of Elena, Johanna stands almost immediately, her eyes drop towards the box in her hands.

"It's not much but it's all we've got left," Elena says, "I want you to know how sorry I am for your loss, and if you have any questions I would gladly answer them."

A small frown flickers on Johanna's face. "You would?"

Elena smiles softly and genuinely. "I will. I'll answer whatever I can."

Johanna takes the box from Elena and sets it down on the couch. The two sit down simulatenously, eyes locked.

"When he was in town, who were his friends?" Johanna asks.

Elena's answer comes off as vague, despite that it wasn't intended to. "Everyone loved him."

"They did?" Johanna asks.

"Yep." Elena nods. "He was friends with Jer, and I. Jenna, Meredith, Stefan, Bonnie and Matt. He was like a guardian to Jeremy and I. He meant so much to us. To all of us. And Damon – Ric was the closest to Damon."

Johanna, who is avoiding looking into the box that holds all that remains of her brother, asks another question.

Her face is empty, her voice is cold, and her eyes cannot meet Elena's directly as the next question passes her lips.

"Was he alone when he died?"

Elena hesitates to answer this question, and the next moment of silence that passes is accompanied by a tense air.

Elena isn't sure how she should respond to that question. If she says he wasn't alone, then Johanna will probably ask who was with Ric when he died and she will seek out Damon, and considering that Damon isn't in his best state since Alaric's death she can't be certain what Damon would say when confronted by questions, especially when these questions are asked by someone who is a painful reminder of Alaric.

"Yes." Elena finally answers.

Johanna nods slowly rigidly, before her eyes settle down upon the brown box of all that remains of her dear brother.

In the box she finds a pile of folded shirts and other garments, a pile of books to the right and a few other objects.

She notices that one certain object is missing.

"His ring. Where is it?" Johanna asks.

"I'm sorry, I don't know.." Elena trails off.

Elena is completely aware of what ring; the ring that allowed Alaric to be killed so many times, but the ring that caused him to kill and ultimately played a role in his death.

Johanna frowns. "It was black and silver – he didn't wear it?"

"No." Elena shakes her head. "I'm sorry, I don't know what ring you're talking about."

Silence follows, and remains until Elena breaks it.

"Are you sure I can't get you something to eat or drink? And if you have any more questions?" Elena starts.

"No, thanks, Elena." Johanna shakes her head. "I haven't kept you from school, have I?"

"No. You didn't. I wasn't feeling well this morning, so I stayed home." Elena says softly.

Johanna simply nods once.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to keep what remains of Alaric." she says, gesturing towards the box.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Of course." Elena smiles. "Of course you can keep them, he would have wanted you to."

Johanna stands from the couch, picking up the box as she does. "Thank you, Elena."

"I'm glad that I could help, somehow. And I just want you to know, that I'm sorry for your loss." Elena says, as she follows Johanna towards the front door.

"I'm sorry for yours, too." Johanna honestly answers.

Johanna pauses.

"Have a nice day, Elena, and feel better."

Elena smiles. "Thank you, Johanna. And I hope you find what you're looking for."

The moment that Johanna leaves, Stefan appears downstairs by Elena's side.

"How'd it go?" Stefan asks.

Elena sighs and turns towards Stefan. "Not as good as I thought it would. I'm not good at this."

"I know that it's hard, Elena, but you have to keep focusing on Jeremy and how by doing this you could save him." Stefan softly answers.

Stefan would, if he had the opportunity, do anything that he could to save Damon from becoming all that he is, and all that he once. He'd do it in a heartbeat. But Stefan doesn't have an opportunity to save his brother, like Elena does, and he won't let Elena lose her only remaining family.

"How'd conning Johanna go?" Damon asks, as he enters the room slowly and moves towards the scotch.

As her name passes Damon's lips it sounds as though he dislikes her so greatly that speaking of her causes him such great feelings of unease.

"No so well." Elena admits. "I mean…I tried to connect with her or something- Maybe, this isn't the right thing to do."

"It is, Elena. It's the right thing for Jeremy." Stefan reassures her, with a small smile.

"What? She didn't bite at all?" Damon asks. "That's not surprising."

"Why isn't it surprising, Damon?" Stefan questions.

"Well, you know, this whole situation practically screams stranger danger." Damon replies, pausing only as he swallows from his glass of scotch. "You invite her back into your home, offer her food and drinks, overwhelm her – I mean, I wasn't anywhere near here and already I feel suffocated just thinking of the neediness and desperation of it all."

"Desperation?" Elena asks. "Okay, so I'm desperate to save my brother. Wouldn't you be, if you were in-"

"All I'm saying, Elena, is that smothering only leads to suspicion." Damon replies, quickly.

"You'd know all about smothering girls, wouldn't you?" Elena asks, crossing her arms over her stomach.

Elena is referring to all the girls that Damon has killed. Her response to his comment,about the situation being needy and desperate, is to try to hurt him as he has hurt her.

"Ouch." Damon sighs. "That hurt." he adds, sarcastically and with a slight eye roll.

Elena moves down, towards Damon, and attempts to appeal to the brotherly side in Damon, if it still exists.

"I'm trying to save my brother's life. Call it needy or desperate – I don't care, Damon. I'm going to save him and I'd really love it if you could help me."

* * *

Johanna rests at the bar, drinking glass after glass of scotch, for quite some time. She takes her time drinking, not wanting to become so drunk that if a situation should arise she couldn't protect herself.

The Grill had been almost empty when she'd entered, but as time passed it had grown busier and begun to fill up with groups of people laughing, eating, drinking and talking loudly.

Soon enough, night falls upon the town and she finds that the Grill becomes much busier than she believed it would.

Johanna glances up from her empty glass of scotch to see Damon Salvatore entering the Grill, dressed in black leather pants, black shoes, a dark blue shirt and a black leather jacket.

He moves towards her with an unreadable expression on his features.

She turns away and sighs, hoping that he doesn't bother her tonight.

Damon looks almost repulsed at the sight of Johanna.

He hesitates before he moves towards her, stopping only as he reaches her side.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asks loudly, a deep frown on his face.

"Having a drink." she answers uncertainly.

"Move." he nearly threatens her.

Johanna tilts her head sideways. "Excuse me?" she frowns.

"You heard me. Move." he almost growls.

"I don't think so-" she begins to reply.

She doesn't believe she should have to listen to these orders from a man she doesn't know.

"I don't care what _you_ think. Why are you still here?" he asks. "Alaric's gone. He's dead. You can't get him back. So, why are you here? You figured you'd stay around and annoy the crap out of-"

Johanna sighs. "I don't know what you're problem is-"

"My problem is that you waltz right into town, into _his_ seat, putting on the role of a 'devoted' and 'caring' sibling when you didn't even know him." Damon says. "You didn't know that he died. You didn't know that he was here to begin with. So, if you've come here in hope of gaining absolution then you're wasting your time."

With those last words spoken, Damon steps away from her and moves towards the side door of the bar, a quicker exit so that he may get out of the Grill.

But Damon choosing to exit through the side door and leave the Grill through the alleyway isn't as simple a choice as it may seem. It is far more complicated than that, as she will soon learn.

Johanna hesitates, as she remains resting on the chair she has now learnt was Alaric's seat.

She decides to go after Damon to figure out what his problem is and what answers that he holds about Alaric's life and death here.

Despite that Damon is so bitter towards her, Johanna will still pursue him and the questions she so desperately needs because he doesn't frighten her.

She follows Damon's footsteps towards the side door and after pushing it open and stepping out of it she had expected to find Damon walking away but instead all that she finds in this dark, deserted and dimly lit alleyway is a rubbish bin to her side, a few crates and boxes and a dark haired woman stumbling down towards her.

Johanna knows immediately that this woman isn't drunk, because she can smell it. She can smell the blood on her. She turns so cautiously towards the woman with the short black hair, pale skin and dark green eyes.

In a quick, swift and somewhat unexpected move the woman slams Johanna into the brick wall of the Grill, pinning her there.

Johanna notes that this woman is stained with blood but from where the blood is pouring out from exactly she cannot tell and she does not have the time to determine such things as the woman revels her sharp, dagger fangs, and rips into the side of Johanna's neck.

She struggles slightly under the weight of this woman who is so incredibly determined to drain her of her blood.

Johanna won't allow herself a moment of weakness as she did earlier at the Salvatore House, with the blonde woman who, because Johanna didn't kill her, was able to get the upper hand and attack her.

With a great force of strength, Johanna harshly pushes the woman away from her and sends her flying backwards onto the cold concrete below her. This does not deter the vampire from what it is she truly wants; what it is she has been compelled to do - she is to kill all and any humans that step out of that door.

Damon had reluctantly told Elena that he would help her but he had also told her he would not be going out of his way to do such things.

Stefan had spoken quickly to Damon about a plan of sorts he had been thinking of. He'd spoken to Damon of how they could set up the vampires for Johanna to kill without her ever knowing that they had interfered and with Johanna's and Elena's growing friendship, or even Matt's and Johanna's growing friendship, they could in time lead her towards Jeremy who would be able to view her mark and therefore lead them to the cure without the involvement of Jeremy.

But Damon hadn't been convinced that it was a great plan. Or even a good one.

He'd insisted that they were probably making a mistake and that Jeremy now had a purpose, of sorts, and that Klaus wouldn't care what hunter they used – and then, that's when Stefan had thought of an 'easier' way for them to set up vampires for Johanna to have to kill.

They would go to Klaus and inform him that Johanna's mark was significantly longer than Jeremy's marking and that it would be better for everyone, and quicker, if they were to use Johanna to get to the cure.

Despite that their claim that the mark was significantly longer was an exaggeration on Stefan's part, Klaus remained unaware of this exaggeration as he could not himself view the mark and so believed Stefan and agreed that he would take part in this scheme, as he put it.

So, Damon had prepared the vampire and Klaus had compelled her and it had been as simple as that.

Now, all that Damon had to do was to watch the scene unfold from where he stood; towards the side of the alleyway where Johanna could not see him. For a moment he'd believed that she would not be able to kill the vampire and that he would have to step in and save their hunter.

If such a thing should happen and he should be put into such a position where he must save Johanna's life he would not be so inclined to do so, but she was their hunter, their chance at finding the cure, and she was Elena's hope of keeping her brother human and not turning him into a crazed vampire hunter.

But from where Damon stands, he sees that he won't be needed to step in and save Johanna's life because she seems to be perfectly capable of doing such a thing herself.

The vampire comes at Johanna again, the fall to the concrete does absolutely nothing to deter her desire for human blood and her desire to kill the human and so she lunges forward at Johanna again with her bloodied teeth showing.

With such speed that the vampire is unprepared for, Johanna reaches inside her boot and pulls out a stake; with this stake, which she had crafted herself, in her right hand she daggers the woman in the heart.

Her body jerks, unnaturally almost, as she falls down into Johanna's arms. Her skin changes instantly. She barely manages to catch the woman but as she does she lowers her body down onto the ground and she watches the life drain out of her eyes as she dies.

She stares silently, still and unable to move at all, as the woman dies. But she shouldn't think of her as that, as a woman, because she's a vampire. This is what she has to do. This is her job.

But, all that she could think as she pressed the stake through the vampire's heart is that she used to belong to someone.

She was once someone's daughter, sister, or mother. She had a family. She had a life. She wasn't always this way. She was human once. And these thoughts, they will always tear at her insides and consume her soul because she cannot outrun them.

She moves stiffly, slowly, Damon notes as he watches her place her dagger into her boot. She pauses before she stands, hands trembling ever so slightly, as she glances down at her arm. Her mark grows longer, she can't see it because it's covered by her sleeve but she can feel it.

Then, she drags the woman's body behind the dumpster.

Damon can't allow her to leave the body there, it will be too easily found. He'll get rid of it, but not just yet. Something else has caught his attention.

Johanna has caught his attention.

The way that she is, in this moment, intrigues him.

She's feeling remorse, killer's remorse, and she feels grief at what she has done. She feels a darkness surging inside of her that she is unable to control.

And all of these feelings are overwhelming, he remembers how it felt but he doesn't feel this way now because Damon doesn't allow himself to feel.

He watches her as she returns from the dumpster, waiting for the break which he knows is coming. It's only a matter of time before she does, he thinks, but she doesn't break. She doesn't bother to wipe the blood, which stains her arms and chest, away and she doesn't attempt to hide it.

Instead, she walks up the stairs which will lead her out onto the main street. She doesn't care if anyone else sees this blood. She doesn't care about leaving the body behind the dumpster. She can't allow herself to care or to feel.

She gets out onto the main street to find that it is empty, and continues walking down the road.

Damon finds this interesting.

He continues to watch her, from a distance, moving slowly forward. He watches her as she walks past the car that he knows is hers, without a glance at it. She continues walking down the main road, in the middle of the road, without any concern for any cars which may come her way.

He should remove the body, he should take care of it, he knows that but he doesn't.

Instead, he follows Johanna as she continues moving down the street – and despite how luring the smell of blood is he does not speed up to her and rip into her because they need her to find the cure.

As he follows her from a distance he wonders for quite some time where she is walking to but then it dawns upon him where she is going; Wickery Bridge.

He wonders briefly if she is headed towards the Boarding house but as she reaches the bridge she suddenly stops walking.

She turns slowly, glancing behind her to check if the road is clear.

Damon disappears quickly, to the side, and she doesn't see him.

But he can see her still and so continues to watch her as she walks down towards the edge of the water, which is lit up by the moonlight.

She pauses for a second before she removes her boots, and then her jacket and jeans, but she leaves her shirt on as she takes her first step into the water.

It's absolutely freezing. The iciness of the water does not bother Johanna as she continues walking down into the water. She stops for a moment, until she goes completely under the water.

Just as Damon believes that Johanna won't surface, and that he'll have to drag her body to the shore, she resurfaces gasping for air and it's as though she'd forgotten to come up for air.

She goes under once more before finally resurfacing and returning to the shore, which she stumbles towards. Slowly, she pulls on her pants and then her jacket and boots.

He leaves her here, at the edge of the water, because he has better things to do.

* * *

The moment that Damon enters the Boarding House, Stefan appears in front of Damon in seconds, with a less than pleased expression resting on his face.

Damon sighs. "What is it? Your time of the month?"

"You were supposed to do it the right way, Damon." Stefan tells him, unable to contain the anger rising n his voice.

Damon didn't do it the right way, he didn't do it the way Stefan had planned.

He should have picked a criminal but he didn't because it's Damon and Damon doesn't care if what he does hurts anyone else. He doesn't care about himself or about anyone, not anymore, and Stefan knew this. He should have known that Damon would have pulled something like this.

"I got rid of the body, Stefan." Damon sighs, loudly.

Stefan begins, "You were supposed to-"

"What, Stefan?" Damon asks

He pauses as he fills the glass and when he has finished he turns towards his brother.

"Get an innocent human?" he asks.

Damon scoffs. "We're running a little short on those."

"It wasn't the plan, Damon." Stefan retorts.

"I'm just going to take a wild guess, here, and say that I don't think that Johanna _really_ cares if the vampires that she puts the stakes through are innocent or not." Damon answers, quickly and impassively. "She doesn't care, Stefan. She can't control herself from killing them. It doesn't matter to her-"

"You want to talk about control, Damon?" Stefan asks.

Damon rolls his eyes. "Well, if it isn't the ripper calling the kettle-"

"No." Stefan says loudly. "No, you're right. She can't control herself but that's because it's what she has to do, as one of the five. But you, you don't. It mattered to me, Damon, that the person was a criminal. And it matters to Elena."

"Oh, really?" Damon asks, feigning concern for a second.

"Damon." Stefan sighs. "It isn't right, okay? You-"

"I should what, Stefan? Stick to turning the criminals? The 'bad' guys?" Damon tilts his head sideways. "I don't care, Stefan."

"I know you don't, Damon. I know. But I care and Elena cares." Stefan says, stepping towards his brother.

"I thought that she'd be happy." Damon mutters. "And before you get all high and mighty, brother, the woman I turned was dying from an illness that can't be treated. Okay, Mr-Judgy? I'm doing this for Elena, and for you."

And these words, they make sense to Stefan. They cause him to realize what this all is really about and why Damon is acting this way, right now.

"Oh." Stefan sighs. "Is that what this is about?" he tilts his head to the side.

"What?" Damon asks, almost growling. "What is 'this' about?"

Stefan replies with an impassive tone. "You're hurt because Elena wants to be human, because she doesn't want to be vampire. You're hurt because you don't want to lose her."

"I don't care about that." Damon replies.

"You do though, Damon." Stefan retorts. "And it's okay."

"No, it's not. It's not okay." Damon shakes his head. "I don't care. That would be a human feeling, Stefan, and I'm not human. Neither are you. We're vampires, little brother, start embracing it for once instead of fighting it and pretending that the human side of you still exists."

"It does exist, Damon." Stefan counters. "And so does yours. Deep down-"

"There is nothing!" Damon replies, without hesitation. "I'm not human, Stefan, and neither are you." he says; disdain drips of the word human as though the thought of being human causes him to feel such sickness.

"And watching you desperately cling to the last slither of human left in Elena is pathetic." Damon snarls.

"She'll be human again, Damon. We'll find the cure." Stefan says, the hope that he feels rings through his voice. "And then we'll know the truth, we'll know who Elena truly wants to be with."

"And then what?" Damon asks. "You'll live a long and happy life together, with flowers and fairies, and then you'll watch her grow old and die. Then, you'll cry over her for the next thousand or two centuries."

"No." Stefan simply says.

"There is no happy ending, Stefan. We don't get that." Damon says.

He moves slowly towards the stairs, stopping only as the next words pass Stefan's lips.

"I'll grow old with her." Stefan announces.

"Good luck with that." Damon answers, quickly. "The cure-"

"It's for me too, Damon. I want to grow old with her. I want to be human with her." Stefan says.

Damon turns around stiffly, slowly, and with an extremely unreadable expression on his face.

"What?" he begins. "You-I….Did you really think that I was going to stick around while my little brother gets old and dies before me? You think that I would let you die?"

Damon steps closer towards Stefan, disbelief painted on his face. "No. I'm not helping you find the cure. I won't do it."

Stefan sighs softly. "This is what I want, Damon. It's what Elena wants."

"It's not what I want." Damon counters.

His expression remains that of an unreadable one and Stefan cannot tell whether his brother is about to snap or not.

"Not everything is about you, Damon." Stefan replies.

These words hurt Damon, even though he'd never let on that he did, and he grows angrier, grows more impatient, and so he snaps.

"And not everything is about you, brother. You chose to be a vampire. You chose to turn me into a vampire. So, you have to live with that choice and live with me for the rest of our eternal existence." Damon says sharply.

"If I had another chance-" Stefan begins, the remorse clear in his voice.

But Damon doesn't want remorse.

"You'd take it back?" Damon questions. "Well, you don't have a chance and you can't." he bluntly says.

Damon isn't going to stand around here and listen to another word about the cure and about Stefan's quest to become human again.

As Damon continues walking away and moving towards the front doors of the Boarding house, he stops as he hears Stefan's voice because he cannot ignore these words.

"I want this, Damon." he says. "If I find the cure, I'm taking it with Elena."

Damon glances back briefly at Stefan. "Not if I can get to it first."

* * *

Matt glances up from the kitchen table, and towards the front door that has just opened, to find Johanna entering. His relief at the sight of her fades as he finds she is dripping with water.

"Johanna, what-" Matt begins.

"Sorry I'm late." she says.

She shuts the door behind her and bolts it, locking it shut.

Matt steps towards her and casts a quick but detailed look over her; her hair is dripping, her skin is covered with water, and her clothes stick to her body.

What worries Matt, what causes him concern, is that it isn't raining outside so he doesn't understand how she came to be so entirely wet.

"Johanna, what happened?" he asks.

The worry is painted on his face.

"I can't do this." she simply says.

"What? You can't do what?" he frowns. "This morning, when I left…."

What he means to say is this morning, when he left he'd believed that she wanted to stay. He believed that she would stay because she seemed as though she had wanted to at dinner. He doesn't understand what it is that she can't do and so he pushes her for an answer.

"What can't you do, Johanna?" he asks.

"This." she replies. "Be here, in this town, I can't."

"Whoa…." Matt begins.

He steps towards her, with almost a slight hint of caution, before he rests a gentle hand on her arm but this type of gesture is so foreign to her that she almost flinches from it as she sets her eyes down onto his hand like it is a foreign object.

She stares at his hand silently for a brief second before she recoils from his touch because she believes that she is toxic and will poison him.

And she doesn't want that.

He has been the only person to show her true kindness.

He gave food to eat and a place to sleep and for that she will be forever grateful but she can't stay here any longer.

She can't pretend to be someone that she isn't. She isn't good, she never has been, and she can't pretend as though the past years in her life never happened. She can't pretend that Alaric's alive.

Johanna can't believe that by staying in this town she will feel any sort of connection to her brother who she misses so deeply and so badly. She longs to see him, to be with him, but that will never happen. It's impossible.

She needs to leave this town and leave behind all of the haunting reminders of her brother and how she failed to reconcile with him when she had the chance.

"I'm not good, here, Matt." she tells him sadly, because it's the truth and he deserves at least that after all that he has done for her.

"What do you mean, you're not good here?" he asks, clearly puzzled.

"Being around me…It isn't good for you or for anyone." she answers.

"Johanna…." Matt sighs. "You're good-"

She can't let him say that.

She can't let him call her good because she isn't.

There is nothing good about her, she knows this, she accepts this, she lives with it but it isn't really living.

"There are things you don't know." Johanna counters quickly, because there is so much he doesn't know.

"Oh, yeah?" Matt asks, he sounds disbelieving as he continues, "Like what? You're a hunter? I know that. That doesn't mean you're not good."

She sighs. "Yes, it does, Matt."

"No, it doesn't." Matt answers. "There's good to you, Johanna. I know it. You're so much like her-"

"But I'm not her, Matt." Johanna replies, somehow holding his gaze. "I'm not Vicky, and you're not Alaric."

And those words sound so cold as they pass her lips.

They're not intended to hurt Matt, or cause him any pain, and they don't because Matt doesn't believe that she's trying to hurt him.

He believes that something happened, something that is making her want to run as fast as she can but he knows that you can't outrun everything.

She'll be entirely alone out there, and despite that he has only known her for such a short time he doesn't particularly like the idea of her being so lonely.

"I know that." Matt replies.

"You don't know it all." she states. "So, we should stop trying to fill these voids and just call it a day."

"Tell me." Matt says, loudly. "Tell me what you can't do. Tell me why you're not good."

Johanna simply shakes her head. "What's the point of telling you, Matt?"

Her voice unintentionally rises as she continues. "It won't change anything. It won't make me good."

Matt sighs softly. "It's a start."

Johanna remains silent for a moment as she considers his words.

"Thank you." she says.

"Come on." he says, after releasing a small breath of air.

"What?" she frowns.

"At least have a shower, before you go." Matt insists. "Get changed into some clean clothes." he adds.

Johanna sighs, softly, before she begins, "Matt….."

"It's just a shower." he tells her. "No strings attached. Come on. It'll warm you right up."

"Okay." she agrees, reluctantly.

The idea of having a warm shower does sound so incredibly tempting to Johanna and she finds that she cannot refuse despite that she knows that she probably should.

"Just a shower." she says.

"Just a shower." he repeats.

It wasn't just a shower, Johanna thinks, as she sits in the passenger seat of Matt's light blue truck. She should have known better, she should have left when she had the chance but she didn't.

After she had gotten out of the shower, and changed into a fresh pair of black denim jeans, black boots and a dark navy blue lace blouse, she had found Matt waiting for her in the kitchen with his telephone in his hand.

He'd told her then that Jeremy had called him and had wanted to meet up with her. Jeremy had insisted that it would be a 'friendly' meeting because he would so love to speak to her about the Hunter's Mark, and The Five, before she would leave town.

Jeremy had spoken of how he hadn't had a mentor, or a teacher, to teach him about the Hunter's Mark and The Five and by saying this he had unknowingly struck a chord with Johanna.

She never had a mentor, she didn't have a teacher, and she was just as alone in this as Jeremy was and for some reason she felt as though she owed it to Alaric to try to help Jeremy because as she had learnt from Matt, Jeremy had been very close with Alaric.

And so, after all of this, Johanna had found herself outside the Gilbert house.

"You coming?" Matt calls out.

He stands on the ground outside of Johanna's window, waiting for her to get out of the truck.

She hadn't realized that she had taken so long to get out. She nods quickly at Matt before she jumps out of the truck and closes the door. She walks slowly up the pavement, behind Matt, and trails behind him until they reach the door. As they reach it, they enter without knocking because Jeremy would be expecting them.

"Jeremy?" Matt calls out loudly, as he holds the door open for Johanna.

She steps through it and begins moving down the hallway, towards the kitchen where she believes that she will find Jeremy.

She does find Jeremy here, she finds that he looks somewhat stiff, and awkward, but that is to be expected she guesses because he is a new hunter and so it would be all be confusing for him.

"Hi." Johanna manages a small smile.

"Thanks for coming." Jeremy says.

Johanna nods curtly. "It's fine."

Jeremy glances past Johanna and towards Matt, who has just entered the kitchen. The two share a silent exchange which Matt doesn't completely understand, he can almost see fear in Jeremy's eyes.

Johanna studies Jeremy carefully, and cautiously, until he finally speaks again.

A saddened and almost regretful expression falls upon Jeremy's face.

"I'm sorry." he utters the words so softly.

She doesn't have the time to think on his words and what they truly mean because the next seconds hit her so quickly.

Damon appears before Johanna, moving towards her with such incredible speed that she didn't see him clearly until he stood before her.

He doesn't speak, he doesn't offer an explanation, and somehow she just knows. No words pass his lips but she just knows what he wants to do, what he's wanted to do since she came to town.

He takes his left hand, which had rested behind his back, and lifts it up towards Johanna.

She glances down at the stake in his hand but it's too late.

She doesn't have enough time, time has never been on her side.

He moves too quickly, he's too fast and too vicious, and she can't stop Damon as he plunges the stake deep into her heart.

When the stake enters her body, she gasps for a breath of air which she cannot swallow, despite how badly she longs for it. Then it hits her heart.

Johanna staggers backwards, away from Damon, her face contorted with pain and grief.

Emptiness becomes her.

Death takes her.

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my story, it honestly means so much to me and I really cannot thank you enough. **

**I hope you enjoy this new chapter. **

**X**


	6. Be still my beating heart

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_You confuse me for someone with remorse._

When Damon glances up from the bloodied and limp body of the hunter before him, he finds Matt watching him with a look of disgust and horror in his eyes but this sight doesn't bother him. He doesn't care for Matt's disgust or his look of horror.

It doesn't cause him to feel anything at all.

Damon takes a slight step away as he watches Matt try to find a pulse on Johanna, but Damon knows that he's useless because she doesn't have a pulse. Her heart has stopped, it no longer beats – Damon can hear this and so he knows any hope of reviving her is futile.

She's gone.

"You're-You-" Matt stutters.

"It's one less hunter in Mystic Falls, and the world, right?" Damon asks.

And despite his carefree attitude, Damon knows what he has done; the hunters curse will fall upon him now and he will go through mental torment and anguish but he also knows he will only suffer until a new hunter is created.

Then it will go away.

There is one less hunter in Mystic Falls to help Stefan find the cure for himself. Damon doesn't believe that he's been selfish in keeping the cure from Stefan. He doesn't want to spend an eternity alone, and thinks that it is only fair that Stefan be locked into eternity with him since he was the one who placed immortality upon them those many years ago.

"Why did...She didn't do anything to you." Matt cries out.

He stands upwards and almost lunges forward towards Damon.

"Whoa," Damon sighs. "Ease up, quarterback, before someone else gets hurt."

Damon moves to leave but Matt steps towards him quickly and blocks his path.

"She's dead, Damon." Matt starts.

"Like I said, one less hunter." Damon rolls his eyes. "I don't see what the big deal is. What, did you have a crush on her?"

"She didn't do anything wrong, Damon. She didn't do anything to you." Matt almost shouts.

And then Matt turns to Jeremy and looks at him disappointment.

"You knew," Matt shakes his head. "You knew and you led her here!"

"No." Jeremy quietly answers. "It wasn't like that. I didn't have a choice, Matt. You have to understand..Damon told me he would turn you, and me, if I didn't."

Damon nods and momentarily steps in between the two of them. "In his defense..I did say that."

"You." Matt begins. "She was Alaric's sister-"

"Oh, come on!" Damon shouts. "And what? They shared blood, that's all. Should I feel guilty? Should I be remorseful? Should I show regret? Well, I don't feel guilty and I don't have any regrets. No, you confuse me with someone who actually cares. You confuse me for someone with remorse."

Damon briefly looks away from Matt and Jeremy, and looks down upon Johanna. He pauses and a frown darts across his face; he could have sworn that he caught the slight rise of her chest.

He watches her carefully, knowing that she couldn't be alive because he staked her in the chest. The stake still stood out of her chest at this moment, but yet she moves.

Her eyes flicker for the briefest moment, like she is undecided about whether she will keep them opened or closed. And then, she wakes, gasping for air like she'd been drowned under water. Her eyes dart frantically around the room, and stays dazed and confused.

"What the hell..." Damon frowns.

Damon's voice startles Johanna but she doesn't meet his gaze entirely, instead she avoids it and looks down at the pool of blood filling up on shirt. She breathes in unsteadily and lifts her hands to the stake to remove it.

She doesn't notice Matt or Jeremy who have moved to her side, and acts as though she is alone. She grasps the stake tightly, sighs, and rips it out of her chest without hesitation.

A muffled groan rises in her throat and passes her lips, she discards the stakes to the side. Her chest heaves heavily in and out. She drops her hand to her chest and tries to stop the heavy bleeding.

Jeremy stands to reach for the medical kit but pauses and turns back to Damon.

"Go." he says.

"Excuse me?" Damon's eyes narrow in on Jeremy.

"Go, Damon." Jeremy sternly repeats. "You can't kill her, so get the hell out of here."

"How about..." Damon starts quietly. "I snap her neck, just to see what happens-"

"Go." Jeremy says.

Damon glares at Jeremy for a moment longer before he releases a low sigh and leaves. Jeremy ducks down and returns to Johanna's side.

Matt places a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. You're okay."

Johanna backs away from Matt; she isn't confused or dazed anymore. The pain is fresh and throbbing, her mind is hazy but the memory is clear.

Matt sighs. "Johanna..."

Johanna shakes her head quickly, standing from the floor as she does.

She trusted Matt, and he set her up. He led her here knowing that Damon would be here, he led her into this situation knowing the risk. She curses herself silently for trusting him when she should have known better.

"No." she says quietly.

He tries to reach out to her but she backs away, out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

"Don't touch me." she snaps. "Don't! Get away."

And with that, she turns and moves as quickly as she can away from the Gilbert House and away from Matt and Jeremy.

* * *

When Damon enters the house, he releases a loud sigh to announce his sudden appearance.

"Seems like our girl isn't who we thought she was." Damon says.

Stefan frowns. "What do you mean, 'our girl'?"

Elena turns to Damon and casts a very quick look over him, and she just knows from his appearance, from his eyes, that he has done something.

"Oh, Damon..." Elena sighs, and stands. "What did you do?"

Damon steps carelessly towards the whiskey. "The hunter, Johanna...She's not a _just_ a hunter."

Stefan watches Damon closely. "Damon, what did you do?"

Damon sighs and pours himself a drink. "Alright, so, I put a stake in her heart-"

"Oh my god, Damon." Elena gasps, clutching her mouth.

Damon rolls his eyes. "Oh, quit the hysteria, Elena. You don't care about her, you only care about the cure."

"That's not true, Damon. I care about her." Elena says.

In her own way, Elena does care about Johanna. She wishes that they had met under different circumstances where she could grow to know Johanna and learn more about her and Alaric's life.

Damon nods. "Oh, but it is, Elena. Admit it."

He steps forward with a venomous look on his face. "All that the two of _you_ are concerned about in this whole scheme that you've concocted is what benefits you."

"You killed her? Damon, she was-" Elena counters.

He sighs. "She didn't die, Elena."

Stefan frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know how much clearer I can be..." Damon releases an exasperated sigh. "When I say that she didn't die, I meant that she didn't die. It's not cryptic."

Elena inches closer to Damon. "How? That's impossible."

"No, it's not. Wait a minute, you'll put two and two together."

"Alaric." Elena sighs after a moment. "Ric had a ring..But I've seen Johanna's rings, up close. And none of them looked like Alaric's"

Stefan shakes his head. "It doesn't necessarily have to look like Alaric's, and it doesn't have to be a ring."

"Look, does it really matter what it is? She's un-killable. Somehow. Despite the whole, supernatural hunter thing that was supposed to leave those rings and devices useless."

Silence fills the room between the three of them.

"What's wrong?" Damon frowns. "I thought that you'd be happy knowing that your chance for the cure can't be killed."

"She knows who you are now, Damon. She knows you're a vampire." Elena crosses her arms.

"What?" Damon feigns shock. "Was it my speed that gave it away? Look, it doesn't matter..I've seen her kill a vampire, okay? She's slow, and weaker than me. I'm not worried. So, here's your chance, Elena. Take it."

Damon moves towards the staircase with the whiskey in his hand still.

"What do you mean, Damon?" she asks.

He sighs and turns back to her. "Chances are, your dear friend Johanna is walking Mystic Falls dazed and confused. So, save the day. Be her vampire-that-she-thinks-is-human in shining armour."

* * *

Matt runs quickly after her, despite that she doesn't want him. He couldn't just leave her to walk these streets alone, especially considering the state that she was in. He had insisted to Jeremy that he go alone, because he didn't want to scare her off.

"Johanna." he shouts out, running towards her still.

She moves faster down the side of the road, ignoring his calls and hoping he will just leave her alone. But he continues shouting after her, and calling out, and her mind aches so badly, and it all builds up and becomes too much.

She stops abruptly and spins around towards him. "You need to stay away from me."

She's giving him a warning because her instincts as a hunter have kicked in and she's fighting the urge to stake him, regardless of the fact that he isn't a vampire.

"Come on, Johanna..." he sighs.

"No," she snaps. "You need to stay the hell away from me, Matt."

He doesn't move, and he doesn't understand how strong her desire to kill is in this moments.

"Go!" she shouts fiercely.

"You won't hurt him, and you won't hurt me." Jeremy cuts him.

Johanna and Matt look slowly, who steps and inches towards them carefully.

"I'm like you," Jeremy says, and she looks down at his hands and finds them stained with her own blood.

"Whether you think so or not, so we've got to stick together." he says.

She shakes her head. "I'm not trusting you. Why should I?"

"Because Alaric did." he counters.

"Not good enough." she says sternly.

"Fine, trust me because I'm a hunter like you. I have no reason to hurt you. I want to help you." Jeremy says quietly.

"Really?" she asks, disbelief crossing her face. "Because that little scene back in there shows differently."

"It wasn't my-" Jeremy starts.

"What?" she inches closer to him. "Your what, Jeremy? Your fault? Your decision or your choice?"

Jeremy shakes his head. "Sometimes, we don't have a choice."

"What was he?" she ignores his words.

"Damon Salv-" Jeremy begins.

"Not who. I said what was he." she cuts over him. "A vampire? Or something else?"

Jeremy nods. "He is."

Matt glances at Jeremy with confusion.

"A vampire?" she asks.

"Yes." Jeremy says, and then he turns to Matt. "She deserves to know the truth."

Damon went too far this time, trying to kill her when she did nothing to him and nothing to warrant it.

"He's a vampire but you haven't killed him?" she frowns.

Jeremy pauses. "It's complicated."

"So, explain." she says simply.

"You can't die?" Jeremy changes the conversation quickly.

"It's complicated." she copies his defense.

"So, explain it." he repeats.

"I can't." she says honestly, because she can't explain what she doesn't know or understand.

Matt inches closer towards Johanna as a small group of people begins to near them. He wraps his arms around her and embraces her in a hug, to hide the blood that stains the front of her. Jeremy tucks his hands into the pocket of his pants to hide the remains of blood.

"Look..." Matt whispers. "This isn't the time. You're bleeding, you're in pain, and we just want to help."

Jeremy steps closer. "That's all we want, to help you."

She seems more than disbelieving and distrusting of them. "Why? You didn't want to help me before, Jeremy. You weren't interested in me at all, and the chaos I might bring."

"I owe it to Ric, okay? And I owe it to you. If I had died, Alaric would have protected Elena. Always. So, please, let us help you."

"I'm capable of caring for myself." she answers simply.

"I know," Jeremy nods. "But...Even those that are capable sometimes need help, and what I felt before..It's changed, okay? We're like each other. I want to help you."

"How do I know you're not leading me back to-" she begins.

"We'll talk about it later, okay? Ask anything, and I'll try my best to answer, but not now." Jeremy says slowly.

She gives him more silence and uncertainty, her unwavering gaze rests upon him.

"Okay?" Jeremy says.

She sighs. "Okay."

* * *

"I just got a call from Jer." Elena announces as she steps inside Damon's bedroom.

He glances up at her from where he had been pouring himself a drink, he meets her gaze slowly and sighs.

"And?" he asks, sounding as though he couldn't care less.

"They got Johanna to come back to the house." she tells him. "She's okay."

Damon slightly rolls his eyes. "And you're telling me this, why?"

"Jer thinks he can handle it, for tonight. But Johanna knows, that you're a vampire. Jer confirmed it to her, he said he had no other way to-"

"Is he in, on your little plan?" Damon asks.

"No, no he isn't. Why?" Elena crosses the room, and stands before him.

"Keep it that way." Damon suggests. "You know, just as I do, that he wouldn't go along with it."

"Okay." Elena nods, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Do you think it'll work, Damon? I mean, do you think that I could save him?"

"I don't know, Elena." Damon downs a large mouthful of whiskey.

"I just want my brother, back, Damon. I can't lose him. I've lost too many people." she says.

"Mm…." Damon mutters.

"Thank you, Damon, for helping me and Jer…" Elena steps towards him and embraces him warmly. "You don't have to, and you are, so thank you."

"Yeah, well, don't thank me yet." he breaks the embrace.

And with those last words, Damon steps away from Elena and turns his back on her so that she will leave him alone.

He can't be around her without wanting her and he can't have her because he isn't good for her.

Damon knows he isn't good for anyone.

* * *

Matt and Jeremy had rested on the couch while Johanna was upstairs in the shower, and as she moved down the staircase they stood quickly and moved towards her.

Despite that she had washed herself, she wears the same bloodied and dirtied clothes. She looks a little better, though. After her shower she bandaged the wound properly and left it to heal.

"I've got some coffee in the kitchen." Jeremy announces.

She nods once. "Okay, thanks."

When her eyes move over the couch, she can almost picture Alaric sitting on it or sleeping over it. She runs her fingers over the edge of it as she moves into the kitchen, careful to avoid the two unwavering gazes of Matt and Jeremy.

Her eyes instantly drop the spot on the floor where she fell after Damon staked her. The blood has been cleaned from the floor but she can still see it, it remains with her always.

Johanna follows them towards a large wooden table. She takes a seat down beside a mug of coffee and takes a large sip from it.

"I don't know how or why I'm still alive." she admits. "I don't know.."

"Is this the first time it's happened?" Matt asks quietly.

"Is this the first time that I've been staked by a vampire in the heart?" she asks.

Matt nods.

"Yes."

"Now, you have to answer something of mine." she quickly adds.

Jeremy agrees. "Sure. Go ahead."

"Damon Salvatore is a vampire. So, that means Stefan Salvatore is also one?" she asks.

When they fail to answer her question and give her more silence, she changes her question. But their silence still gives her an answer; yes, Stefan is also a vampire.

"Okay," she sighs. "Answer this. Did Alaric know?"

"Yes." Jeremy eventually replies.

"The first time, you…." Matt begins.

"My neck was snapped." Johanna answers. "I should have died but I didn't, like I didn't die tonight. I don't know how or why."

"You're not a vampire.." Matt starts.

"No, I'm not. If I were a vampire I would have killed myself by now." she says.

Jeremy pauses. "Your turn."

"Was Alaric – Did he become a vampire?" she questions.

Jeremy breathes in heavily.

He doesn't want to give her the true answer to that question, so he gives her another lie.

"No." he lies.

Matt and Jeremy share a brief and unnoticed gaze, in which Matt nods with approval. It's for the best that she doesn't know the whole truth."

"Why haven't you killed Damon and what is your connection to him?" she settles her mug down.

"I thought-" Jeremy begins.

"I can't answer your questions because I don't have the answers about why I didn't die." she says.

"That actually wasn't my next question." Jeremy admits.

She hesitates. "Go on, then."

"When did your mark appear?" he asks.

She draws in a noticeable and long breath of air. "Just under a year ago."

"How?" Jeremy asks.

She ignores him. "Why haven't you killed Damon Salvatore, or his brother?"

Jeremy shrugs. "It's complicated. How did you get your mark?"

"Just like yours. A hunter died. Did Damon Salvatore kill my brother?"

Her eyes become darker as she asks about Alaric.

"No." Jeremy liens, again.

He isn't sure how many times that Damon killed Alaric but he does know that he did kill him many, many times – but he wasn't the reason that Alaric died in the end.

"Do you know any other hunters?" Jeremy questions.

"No." she answers. "Why shouldn't I kill Damon Salvatore?"

"I don't care if you do." Jeremy admits.

"Neither do I." Matt adds in.

She studies their faces for a moment before she speaks.

"Yes, you do." she says. "I saw it. Concern in your eyes. But not for Damon. Your sister lives with him, doesn't she, Jeremy? She's involved with Damon or his brother?"

"Yes." Jeremy sighs heavily.

"I think…" Matt stands from the chair. "This is enough for now. I think you need to rest, Johanna."

She crosses her arms and leans back in her chair. "So, you're giving me your permission to kill Damon Salvatore when I come across him again?"

"Like I said.." Jeremy says, "I don't care but my sister does, and I care about her. So, I'd rather that you didn't."

"He killed me." she says back.

"He's..Unhinged. Sometimes. Most of the time." Jeremy says slowly.

She shakes her head. "That's no excuse. What if he comes after me again?"

Jeremy shrugs again. "You're more than capable."

"Why should I believe a word that you're saying?" she asks warily.

"You'll just have to take my word for it." he suggests.

She shakes her head and stands from the table. "I've taken the word of people before, time and time again, and it's never ended well."

Matt cuts in. "This could end well, if you'd just give it a try."

She exhales deeply. "I don't think so."

* * *

The soft, gentle morning light which sneaks through the curtains falls softly and calmly onto the bed which Johanna had fallen asleep on top of. She wakes slowly, unsteadily, and unsure of where she is and how she came to be here. She finds that a thick, green blanket has been draped over her to cover her as she slept.

She casts her eyes over the room to find that she doesn't recognize it at all until she sees a photograph of Elena and Jeremy Gilbert, hanging on the wall across the room.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up." Elena steps through the half open door.

She enters into the room carrying a wooden tray with various items on top of it. As she catches sight of Elena, a small frown spreads onto Johanna's features. She sits up quickly, on the bed and coughs to clear her throat.

"I uh…." she begins.

"You're at the Gilbert House, Johanna." Elena smiles kindly.

"I thought…."

"You fell asleep, downstairs. Jer carried you upstairs." Elena answers.

And as Johanna hears those words, she finds that she does have a vague recollection of being carried up the stairs but she doesn't remember falling asleep downstairs.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be in this house or in this room - this is your room." Johanna pulls away the sheets and stands.

With a soft, gentle touch Elena reaches out for Johanna's wrist. "It's okay. It's not my room right now. I don't mind."

She gazes down at Elena, with a small hint of uncertainty in her eyes, before she reluctantly takes a seat back down on to the bed.

"I made you a tea." Elena says softly.

"You didn't have to do that." Johanna answers.

"I know." Elena passes her the mug. "I wanted to."

Johanna manages a small smile as she slowly takes the mug from Elena's hands. As she does, Elena casts a quick but incredibly detailed look over each of Johanna's rings and she finds that none of them resemble Alaric's in the slightest way but then, Stefan did say they didn't have to.

"How are you feeling?" Elena asks.

Her eyes drop to the blood on Johanna's shirt, and as her eyes circle over the bloodstains she feels such guilt for involving Johanna in this world.

"So, uh…You know." Johanna looks up slowly.

"Er…" Elena shifts. "Yes."

"You know that I'm a hunter, then?" Johanna says. "Like your brother."

Elena simply nods and manages a small, but slightly awkward, smile. She isn't sure how to proceed with this conversation. She isn't sure what she should keep from Johanna and what she should tell her so Elena decides that she will take it one word at a time.

"And I'm guessing your friend, Damon, knows I'm a hunter?"

"Yes, he does." Elena nods.

She meets Elena's gaze which is still a kind one despite the topic which their conversation has fallen on to.

"You're friends with a vampire?" Johanna asks, "Why?"

"It's difficult to explain. I mean…." she sighs.

"Try me."

"I didn't always know the truth, from the start…" Elena admits. "And once I found out I thought that it would change everything. But it hasn't."

"It seems like your interactions with vampires have been more pleasant than mine." Johanna sighs before sipping on the mug.

Elena meets her gaze again. "You've run into vampires, before –"

"Before Damon?" she asks. "Yes. A few…"

"Damon won't hurt you, again." Elena promises.

She lifts an eyebrow. "You can guarantee that?"

"I can, if you promise you won't hurt him." Elena counters quickly.

Johanna can't make that promise or any other promise.

"I can't promise you that, Elena. I'm a hunter, of vampires.."

"Your desire is to kill all vampires." Elena says.

"Yes. And you…" she looks up again.

"I'm not." Elena answers, quickly.

She believes that it's best if Johanna doesn't learn the truth about her yet.

"You're not a vampire?" Johanna asks.

"No." Elena firmly answers.

"Johanna, I….I care about Damon, I do, and Alaric did too. He trusted him."

"He did?" she asks.

Elena nods. "Vampire or not, Damon has – he has his moments, when he's a good guy. And in those moments you can trust him entirely."

Johanna's gaze shifts slightly away from Elena and towards a photograph, of a man and a woman, resting beside the photograph of Elena and Jeremy.

"Who are they?" she asks.

"Who…." Elena sighs. "Oh, er..My parents.

"Where…" Johanna begins.

"They're not with us, anymore." Elena softly says.

"I'm sorry." she quickly and genuinely says. "I didn't know. I'm sorry for asking."

She shakes her head. "It's fine. It's okay."

"So, it was you, Jer and Alaric in this house?" she asks.

Elena nods and sips from her mug. "Yes."

"Why?"

And then it dawns upon Elena that Johanna must not know that Isobel was her mother, making Alaric her step-father and Johanna her step-aunt.

"We bonded. It was…He was like a guardian, to Jer and me." Elena smiles with fondness.

A moment of silence passes, but doesn't last.

"Alaric, uh….He never spoke of you, or of your family. Is there anyone else?"

Johanna takes several moments to reply. "Uh, yeah. A long time ago, there was. It's just me now."

"You know, uh…Johanna. I'm sorry, for how thing started out between us." she says. "I wasn't as helpful as I could have been but I'd like to be now, if you had any questions."

"Thanks, Elena." she nods. "The tea…The tea is good."

Elena's smile widens as she answers, "I'm so relieved to hear that."

A frown crosses Johanna's face. "You are."

"I can make great coffee. When it comes to hot chocolate, I'm a professional at making." Elena says, still smiling.. "But when it comes to tea, I tend to make it taste horrible."

Johanna nods. "No, well – this is good."

"So…" Elena stands from the bed. "What are your plans, for the day?"

Johanna's frown remains. "I'm not sure yet. Why, Elena?"

"You could spend it here with me, if you want to. I mean, I've got the day off. You can shower, rest, relax – and I can answer any questions that you have about Alaric and his life here."

Johanna's eyes narrow. "Why are you doing this?""

"Because you look like someone who needs…" Elena begins but stops.

"What?" Johanna asks.

"Because you're Alaric's family, and he was family to me, and I know he'd take care of Jer if I were to….If I were to die." Elena says.

Elena is being so friendly, and so kind, because she wishes they didn't have to do this. She wishes they didn't have to trick her and force her to kill vampires but they have to because they could save Jeremy, because they have to save Jeremy.

Elena wants to genuinely help Johanna because she's Alaric's sister and not only does she feel she owes it to him, she believes that if he is watching down on her may forgive her as they use her to find the cure.

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) Thank you so much to everyone who reads my story, it honestly means so much to me and I hope you enjoy this new update (and I apologise for the late update) Also a big thanks to everyone who has reviewed/followed/favourite my story :)**

**I hope you like this new chapter and where this story is heading. Also, I just wanted to ask you, the readers, what your thoughts are on the OC Johanna. It's always difficult writing an OC and placing them into a show to which they have never and will never belong in. I really would just like some feedback on what you do and don't like about her and if there was anything in particular you would like to read. Thanks for showing interest in my story, and like I said earlier I hope you like this new chapter.**

**Guest Review:**

**XxbriannaxX: 6/26/13 . chapter 5: **Yep! Damon killed her (and I can't promise it'll be the last time he does) Thank you so much, I'm glad that you thought it was a good chapter. And I hope you like the new update. Thank you for reading and reviewing, Brii. :) xox

**Thanks.**

**X**


	7. Reliving our darkest moments

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made**

* * *

_From this moment on, you're not my family, you're not my sister. You are nothing._

Johanna and Elena spend a lot of the day, much to her surprise, talking about Alaric. While it is incredibly painful for both to talk about him, they must always talk of him so that they will never forget him for a second. They start with the harder stuff, the harder questions and answers.

But soon enough they move on to the happier stuff.

Elena talks about Alaric being in love, with her Aunt Jenna who also sadly passed. But she talks of Alaric being so in love, and so happy, and this news brings Johanna great happiness to hear because she was so uncertain of whether her brother might find happiness again.

She is happy to know that Alaric found love again, because he was so deserving of it.

Johanna has yet to say anything out loud, or confirm it to herself, but she feels a great deal of sympathy towards Elena and Jeremy, who both lost their parents, then they lost their Aunt and then Alaric who was something of a father figure to them.

"Elena…" Johanna starts, "This has been….Helpful? I think. I don't know…It's…Unexpected, but helpful."

"Seeing you, it reminds me of him." Elena smiles sadly.

"Thank you, Elena, for showing my brother such kindness and love. I'm just – knowing that he was in love, and that he had many friends who loved him.. It brings me peace knowing that he found peace."

Elena nods, her smile remaining. "I don't know – but.. being around you makes me feel like I'm with him again, in a way - it's a good feeling."

Johanna hesitates before a small smile appears on her own features. She can't deny that she does feel comfortable around Elena. She does feel comfortable around this person who was so close to her brother.

"I should – I should be going." Johanna stands suddenly.

She realizes, before the words pass her lips, that she has nowhere to go. All of her belongings are in the back of Matt's truck, and she doesn't know where that is because he wasn't here this morning when she rose.

"Do you need a lift?" Elena asks.

She lowers her eyes to the blood stain on Johanna's shirt. "Or, a clean top?" Elena asks.

"No, thanks. I'll be okay." she answers.

"Thank you, for coming over here." Elena says, as the two begin moving towards the front door. "It was good to talk to you, to talk about Alaric. I'm just – I'm glad that I could help you."

Honestly, Elena is happy that she could give Johanna some of the answers that she needed, some of the answers that she deserved.

Johanna pauses. "I'm sorry, for taking up all of your time."

"You didn't, at all. I mean – I'd love to meet up again, or something. If you wanted..." Elena says.

Johanna watches her carefully, and it takes her a long moment to answer.

"Okay." she agrees. "I'll give you my number."

Quickly, Elena pulls out her phone and allows Johanna to put her mobile number in.

"Thanks." Elena smiles, once Johanna has finished.

She nods and steps through the doorway. "Goodbye."

Elena's smile remains. "Bye."

* * *

When Johanna reaches Matt's place, after walking there on foot, she finds that his truck is nowhere in sight and his house is locked up tightly. She sighs and bangs on the door loudly, before she then decides she will pick the lock open.

Suddenly, she is spun around and slammed harshly against the door. She recognises the woman, the vampire, immediately; the blonde who attacked her in the cellar at the Salvatore House.

"What are you doing here, hybrid?" she glares, her hand tightening around her neck. "I killed you. You should be dead."

Johanna pauses before she attempts to break out of the hold, she shifts suddenly and manages to place Rebekah against the wall. She rips a stake out of her boot and presses it to her chest.

Rebekah nearly laughs. "You can't kill me with that, hybrid. Didn't Nik teach you anything?"

"Why do you insist on calling me that?" Johanna snaps back. "I'm not a hybrid."

A frown creeps across Rebekah's face. "Witch?"

"No." she answers.

"Vampire?" Rebekah asks.

"No..." she presses the stake in harder. "But you are. I can't die, so I'd really like it if you didn't kill me again."

Rebekah continues to frown. "Why can't you die?"

Johanna ignores her question. "I'm going to kill you, now."

"No, you're not." Rebekah smiles. "Who are you?" her eyes narrow.

"My name is Johanna-"

"_The _Johanna?" Rebekah stiffens up slightly.

Rebekah turns on her now, so very quickly, and slams her with much more force in to the wall.

"You're a hunter." she says, with both fury and fear in her eyes.

She can't kill her because she's a hunter and she doesn't wish to suffer the hunter's curse. But this hunter can't die, Johanna can't die, and Rebekah can't make any sense of it. Hunter's die – they're supposed to die before they can do any real harm.

"And you can't die?" Rebekah asks.

"Who told you?" Johanna asks.

Rebekah doesn't answer.

Johanna tries to break free of Rebekah's grasp, as she shouts at her.

"Who told you, _vampire?_" she hisses.

"Let's just say, I overheard it at a very unpleasant family reunion." Rebekah answers calmly. "You're trying to kill me, then, hunter?"

"I want to." she answers. "It's a desire..To kill."

"Well…." Rebekah begins, a smile playing on her features. "I'm sure you remember what my desire is."

She ignores this. "Why can't I kill you? You boasted-"

"Do you really think I'd be so stupid as to tell you why I can't be killed?" Rebekah asks, finding the very idea absurd. "You're not a very good hunter then, are you?"

She pauses. "I've already been staked by a vampire in the past twenty four hours, it wasn't pleasant and I don't particularly want to go through that again. So, if you're going to kill me, make it quick. Or at least try something _original_."

Rebekah drops her hand. "Who staked you?"

Johanna breathes in deep breaths of air.

"Does it matter?"

"Why did they stake you?" Rebekah questions.

"Because I'm a hunter, and they see me as a threat." she says, because that's the only conclusion she came to.

Rebekah releases the stake from where she had pressed it against Johanna's chest, but she keeps her pressed firmly up against the wall.

"I've never heard of a female hunter before." Rebekah's eyes flicker over her.

Johanna sighs. "It's new to me as well."

"Who tried to kill you?" Rebekah asks.

She wonders what vampire would be so stupid as to kill a hunter because they would receive the insufferable hunter's curse.

"Damon Salvatore." she answers.

Rebekah sighs, a small smile appearing on her face. "Let me guess, he did it for _Elena_."

"I-I don't know why he did." Johanna answers.

"Why did you come here?" Rebekah asks. "To hunt vampires?"

"I came to find my brother."

These were her intentions when she came to Mystic Falls, and now she isn't sure what her intentions are but she sure doesn't plan to share them with a vampire.

Rebekah frowns. "Have you?"

She shakes her head once. "He died. I was late."

"Who was your brother?" she asks.

"Why do you care?" she snaps back.

"I don't." Rebekah replies.

Johanna sighs and steps forward, causing Rebekah to take a step back.

She just wants to get out of this.

"I'm not going to kill you. But if you're going to kill me-" she starts.

"I'm not." Rebekah says, quickly and unexpectedly. "You took the stake out of me. Why? You didn't do it for Nik, or anyone else. Why did you do it?"

Rebekah wants to know why this stranger, this hunter, showed her kindness.

"Honestly?" Johanna asks. "I don't know. When I saw you, staked, I felt – I'm not sure what I felt. And then, before I knew it I had pulled the stake out and you were ripping in to my neck."

"You brought me back to life." Rebekah states, no anger to her voice but rather gratitude.

"Everyone deserves one."

Rebekah smirks. "Even vampires?"

"I'm a little too biased to answer that," Johanna retorts. "You know, with wanting to kill them in nearly every waking moment and all..."

Rebekah takes another step away. "Why are you staying with Matt?"

"I don't know. He was kind and offered me a room….You know him?"

"I did." Rebekah nods, drawing in a tight breath of air. "It's complicated."

"I didn't come here to kill you or any other vampires." Johanna admits. "I came here for my brother, to find closure and peace. I won't kill you if you don't kill me…"

"Nice try at a truce, Johanna, but I can't die." Rebekah says.

"I can't either. Apparently." she cuts in.

"What if it's a fluke?" Rebekah cocks her head to the right.

Johanna doesn't answer.

Silence follows but soon passes.

"I won't, though." Rebekah eventually says.

"Won't what?" Johanna responds.

"Try to kill you. Why would I want to? You're a hunter, who can't be killed. I don't really have much of a choice." Rebekah answers.

Johanna pauses. "You could rip my head off."

"I could." Rebekah agrees. "But I won't."

Rebekah won't kill Johanna because she could prove to be very useful. She could help Rebekah find the cure before anyone else found it. And what a position she would be in – the first vampire to find and hold the cure.

"Get changed." Rebekah orders.

"What?" she frowns.

"Get changed." she repeats. "I'm buying you a drink."

"Why?" she answers suspiciously and with obvious uncertainty.

"You saved my life, I almost took yours." Rebekah says. "It's my way to make it up to you."

Rebekah believes that it is both a way for her to make it up to her and a way for her to become closer to her and closer to finding the cure.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." she answers sharply.

"Well, from the looks of it...You don't have anywhere else to go or anyone else to go to. You're alone, like I am. Aren't you?" she asks, the smile that had previously rested on her face soon fades away as she speaks of being alone.

"How do I know that you're not-"

"Leading you in to a trap?" Rebekah cuts over her. "Like I said, Johanna, I've no reason to."

Johanna holds Rebekah's silent gaze for a moment before she speaks, and when she does her voice is incredibly impassive that Rebekah can't decipher or feel any real emotion in it.

"I didn't catch your name before you, you know, tried to kill me." she says.

"Rebekah." she extends her hand.

Johanna glances down to her hand and then back to her eyes.

Slowly, and with hesitation, she shakes Rebekah's hand.

"Not that the idea of having drinks with you isn't _quite_ appealing, I'm exhausted, Rebekah."

"Alright..." Rebekah says, finally. "The Grill, eight o'clock. Be there." she tells her, and with those final words she disappears not giving her a chance to refuse.

After releasing a long, heavy sigh she walks towards the back of Matt's place and jumps the fence so that she may get inside his yard. She finds that the back doors are locked, and so she sighs and curses. She returns to the front of his house and finds the garage is also locked.

She then begins to survey the small house, as she decides what window she will break.

Just as she is about to pick up the rock, she hears footsteps behind her.

Assuming that it's Matt, she spins around quickly.

But it isn't Matt.

She turns to face a tall, large man built very well. He moves towards her quickly, viciously like a wild animal bearing its fangs, and sets his eyes and teeth upon her neck. She pulls out her gun, which had been resting between her belt and jeans, and fires several bullets at the vampire. But she knows that a gun is useless against a vampire; it won't kill them and it won't seriously injure them.

Now, she wishes that Matt had left the garage open so that she could get her weapons. But she can't. Before she can reach for the stake, which she'd replaced in her boot, the vampire bites in to her neck and drains so much of her blood that she feels herself quickly losing consciousness. Then, it grips her by the head and twists her neck so unnaturally that it snaps and she falls dead, down on to the now bloodied ground, becoming another heartless mess.

* * *

"_Say something, Annie. Say anything." Alaric says loudly, as he steps towards her with an almost desperate expression on his features._

"_What do you want me to say, Ric? What can I say?" Johanna replies, quickly, as she holds her brother's gaze._

"_Say that you believe me…" Alaric tells her. "Tell me that you believe me, that you believe your brother – Don't stare at me like that-" he begins, unintentionally raising his voice._

"_Like what?" she asks._

"_Like I'm crazy, like I belong in some sort of institution…" Alaric counters, quickly._

"_You're talking about vampires, Ric. They don't exist." she says, with a sadder tone. "Isobel is gone, Ric, she's missing. But a vampire-" _

_But Alaric speaks over her; he speaks with a voice that is filled with such pain, and such despair, but above all it contains such defeat._

"_I know what I saw!" he exclaims. "I know what I saw it doing, to her. Just, believe me. Annie, you have to." he says, taking her hands and holding them in his. "Believe me." she says._

"_Oh, Ric…." Johanna sighs. "I want to. I want to believe you, I do. But you're talking about a species that doesn't exist. I know, you miss her-" she says._

"_No, you don't." Alaric counters. "You don't know what it's like. She is my wife, and she's gone, and I know – I can't….You're supposed to believe me, Annie, when no one else does. Believe in me, like you always have - like I've always believed in you. Please."_

_Johanna begins, "I want-"_

"_But you don't!" he yells, stepping away from her and releasing her hands from his. _

_"After everything that we have been through..." he says, with such anger and such pain in his voice._

"_Ric…." she whispers, softly._

"_No." he answers, sharply. "You are all that I have left, Annie, but you're not really here, are you? I don't really have you, I can't count on you - I can't count on my sister. You're my family, my sister, but you're not acting like it. You're not treating me like family in this moment, when I need you to. You're not – You're not being a sister."_

"_You don't mean that." she says._

"_Come with me. Believe me, Annie. Trust me, like you always have. I'll show you the truth, I will. We can find it together." he says, giving her one last chance to believe him and trust him as he has always trusted her._

"_I can't, Ric. I want to. God, I want to. With all of my heart and soul, I want to be with you on this, and I want to believe in you but I can't go with you and you can't do this. You can't." Johanna answers, sadly. "I'm sorry. I'm still your-" she begins._

"_No, you're not. You're not my family, because family wouldn't treat each other like you're treating me. You're not my sister." he says, loudly. "You were everything to me, Annie, but now…You're nothing."_

* * *

Johanna wakes to a silent and unwelcoming darkness.

She is surrounded by it, just as she is surrounded and entirely engulfed by the pain which she feels throughout her body.

It takes her eyes a moment to adjust to her settings, which are new and unfamiliar, but light coming from the crack in the door allows her to move her eyes over a few items in this room which she has never been in before.

She finds herself in a double-sized bed with a thick, but silky blanket covering her body. Curtains have been pulled across, covering the windows and blocking out the sun light.

Johanna's head is propped up by several pillows and thumps loudly, causing her a minor amount of pain. She coughs, to clear her dry and bloodied throat, and finds that by coughing she has only made her throat feel much worse.

And then he appears, in a small crack of the doorway where the light has seeped through, carrying what appears to be a wooden tray.

"Morning, sleepy-head." Matt says, with a small but pained smile on his face.

He stops before he reaches her bedside and steps towards a lamp and turns it on.

"It's morning?" she frowns uncertainly.

"No." Matt answers, quickly. "I just – You've been asleep for a while."

"I have?" she asks, frowning slightly.

"How did I get-" she begins but falls silent, as it comes back to her in bright and painful flashes.

"It's okay. Here, drink some lemonade." he says, holding out a glass to her.

She takes it without caution and drinks it quickly, finding that it soothes her dry throat greatly.

"What...How..." she quietly starts.

"My room…" Matt answers. "I thought that you deserved a good sleep, in a bed."

He pauses and exhales. "I found you, outside. Bloody and...Dead."

He'd come here, after dropping Jeremy at home at the Gilbert House, and as he'd pulled the car up he'd seen her body; bloodied and crumpled on the ground. She'd been lying in such an unnatural position that Matt was sure her neck had been snapped. While she'd been out, Matt had cleaned and bandaged her wound and slid a sweater over her because she had been so cold.

She realises she doesn't have her weapons on here.

"My gun-"

"Your gun, your knife, and stake are in the kitchen." Matt says quickly.

He pauses. "Do you know who did it?"

"I…." she sighs. "I don't know who, but they were a vampire."

"I thought, you're a –" Matt begins.

"Yes, Matt, I'm a hunter. I don't particularly enjoy killing vampires and I try to only do it if it's necessary, if there is no other choice." she says, holding his gaze as she speaks.

"How do you control it?" he asks.

She simply shakes her head.

"What?" he asks.

"I don't control it, Matt." she admits. "I can't control it. The trick is, pretending that you can control it. Convincing yourself, and others, that it's under control and then, eventually, you might believe it...Eventually it might become real."

Matt sighs. "How do you stop yourself from-"

"Creating chaos?" she asks.

He nods.

"I find…A calm." she says, and that's all because she'd rather not speak of such things with him.

"I spoke with Elena." she says finally.

"You did?" he looks up.

"About Damon, being a vampire." she says. "I can't promise I won't kill him."

"You don't have to make that promise to me." Matt quickly answers.

"You know what he is?" she looks shocked, almost.

Matt nods, remaining silent.

"And you're friends with him?" she asks.

This causes him to smile and shake his head. "No. I wouldn't call us friends."

She breathes out sharply. "He was friends with Alaric though, wasn't he?"

"Yep." Matt answers. "I don't know why or how they were friends, or how they got along…I don't know how anyone can get along with Damon, to be honest. But, yeah, Mr Salt- Alaric and Damon were friends, best-friends, I think. They always looked after each-other."

"Matt…Can I ask you something?" she asks quietly.

"Anything…" Matt smiles.

"How do you do it?" she asks. "How do you be around vampires? They're deadly, dangerous and I just…I don't understand how you, and Elena, are around them."

"It was difficult, at first, accepting the truth-" Matt begins.

"I'm not asking how to accept that they're real because I know that they are. I've had encounters with vampires before Mystic Falls." she says, quickly. "What I'm asking is, how can you be-"

"Friends with them?" Matt asks.

Johanna nods, holding Matt's unwavering gaze as she does.

"A part of them is still human, underneath the fangs, and the blood lust. They were once human. And, I – just…They still feel, like we do. Sure, they don't age, they can be deadly and they don't have to feel. But, they're living with us, shouldn't they get their chance to live?" he asks.

Underneath the fangs, and the desire for blood, Matt sees that Elena is still human. He sees some humanity still in Stefan. And he knows how the two of them desire to be human, again, so that they can live. However, not all vampires still hold their humanity. Matt doesn't see much humanity, if any, left in Damon or Rebekah.

"I'll have to try to remember that, tonight." she murmurs.

A frown slips on his features. "What's tonight?"

"I'm having drinks with, uh…Rebekah, I think?" she says casually.

"Whoa." Matt says loudly, almost choking as the words pass his lips.

"What?" she frowns now.

"How do-How do you know Rebekah?" he asks, with a slightly panicked tone. "But, I think the more important question is – Why are you having drinks with her?"

"She was the vampire that attacked me, the one that snapped my neck." she answers.

Matt cannot understand why Johanna would voluntarily do this.

He speaks quickly, and stutters occasionally. "What-What – And you- You're having drinks with a vampire who attacked you?"

"I don't get as nearly as many opportunities to drink the scotch that I love, the good stuff. I saved her life, she tried to take mine – she's buying drinks."

"You should stay away from her, Johanna." Matt says, concern spreading on his face.

"I know what she is. She's a vampire, an Original vampire." Johanna say.

She figured as much from Rebekah's constant boasting that she couldn't be killed.

"And, you know what they say….Keep your friends close – keep your enemies closer." she adds.

Matt runs his hands over his face. "Jo- I don't think that this is a very good idea." he admits.

"You're working tonight, aren't you?" Johanna asks.

Matt nods slightly. "Er, yeah…Why?"

Johanna shrugs. "Then I trust that I'll be fine."

"Oh." Matt says, coming to a realization of sorts.

"What?" she asks, with a hint of a frown.

"You trust me?" he smiles.

She frowns. "What?"

Matt begins, still smiling, "You just said you trust-"

"That I'll be fine." she says quickly.

"Because I'll be there…" Matt answers quickly, and still wearing a grin.

"Don't flatter yourself." she counters, sharply and defensively. "I don't trust you."

She doesn't intend to come off as harsh, but she does.

This causes the smile to disappear from Matt's face completely.

"Really?" he asks.

"Don't take it personally, Matt." she sighs softly.

"So, you don't trust me, after everything…." Matt begins, unintentionally raising his voice ever so slightly.

He pauses so he may draw in a long breath of air.

"And you don't trust Elena, when she is one of the kindest people you'll meet but you trust Rebekah enough-" he begins.

"No, you're wrong, Matt." she quickly says. "I don't trust anyone."

"Seems like something you and Rebekah have in common, then. You two can chat about it tonight." Matt stands from the bed.

"Matt…." she stands and grabs his elbow.

He turns towards her reluctantly., "I don't know what you want me to do, to show you that you can trust me."

"I don't know why you want me to trust you so badly." she answers.

"Because I want to help you. I want-" Matt begins.

"Why?" she asks.

"You remind me of her, okay?" Matt says, removing his arm from Johanna's grip.

"So much… It's uncanny, and it's difficult, and it's painful but it reminds me that I have a second chance, now." he admits sadly, painfully, but honestly.

"A second chance at what, Matt?" her expression and voice are much softer now.

"Saving a life." he says quietly.

A long moment of intense silence passes, and is finally broken when Johanna speaks.

"Okay." she sighs.

"Okay, what?" he asks.

"You win." she tells him.

Matt frowns. "What?"

"My trust but it's small." she says warily. "It's the best I can do, and if you break it we are done. For good."

Matt nods, as a smile begins to appear on his own face. With Johanna around, he feels like he has a purpose. He feels like perhaps she made her way to Mystic Falls so he could help her, and keep her safe, and perhaps their friendship could grow because he feels such a connection with her already.

He smiles. "It's a start. Let me get you another drink."

After he steps out of the bedroom and begins moving down towards the kitchen, he pulls his phone out of his pocket with his left hand and begins typing up a message to Elena.

To: Elena **Rebekah and Johanna having drinks tonight Grill. Something's up with that, I think Rebekah is up to something. I thought you'd want to know.**

In a matter of seconds, Elena replies in detail to Matt's text message: **Can't make it tonight. Staying in with Jer and Bonnie. Damon said he'll hang around the Grill to keep an eye out. Keep an eye out, too, Matt. If you need anything, at all, don't hesitate to call me or talk to Damon. x**

* * *

As Rebekah enters the grill she believes that she won't find Johanna here, she doesn't expect to find her here because if she were Johanna she wouldn't come, but she does find her and for some reason it causes a smile to tug to her lips.

There is something about Johanna, something that she recognizes in her, something that she possibly connects in, something that she sympathises with.

She finds Johanna sitting at one of the tables beside the bar, wearing a pair of black jeans and a plain brown shirt. Her hair has been pulled back into an attempt at a braid. Rebekah pauses before she steps towards her.

"I can honestly say that I'm quite surprised to see you here." she announces.

Johanna looks up immediately, and Rebekah catches a flicker of desire in her eyes; the desire to rip out her heart, or to stake her. The desire to kill her is definitely there, but she doesn't act on it. Instead, she sits still.

"I'm not the type of person to decline a free drink." she answers.

"Let's get started, then." Rebekah smiles. "I'll get us the first round."

She nods back at Rebekah, before she eventually turns her back on her.

Rebekah falters as she turns towards the door, quickly finding that Matt stands behind it with a deeply guarded expression on his face.

"Hello, Matt." Rebekah manages to say.

She receives silence, as she expected, but it doesn't deter her and instead she inches towards the bar and inspects the bottles on the opposite side of the counter.

"I see I'm still receiving silent treatment?" she glances up briefly.

Matt sighs heavily. "You do know who that is, don't you?"

A frown crosses her face. "Yes, Johanna. I heard you were-"

"Johanna _Saltzman_." he cuts over her harshly.

Rebekah breathes in noticeably, and she tenses up slightly.

"Alaric's sister." he leans in towards her, placing him arm against the counter. "You remember him, right? You killed him when you drove me and Elena off of Wickery Bridge."

Rebekah briefly casts a look towards Johanna before she looks back to Matt.

"Do you really think that information bothers me? Do you think any of what you said bothers me?"

The words come out unemotional and cold, and she doesn't expect a response from him but he gives her one.

"No." he shakes his head. "I don't think anything bothers you, Rebekah. But it might bother Johanna-"

She tilts her head back. "You've not told her the truth, have you, Matt? Not the entire truth, anyway."

Matt hesitates, and his hesitation is all the confirmation that she needs.

"Sure," Rebekah continues, regaining her composure and confidence. "You've told her about the vampire population in Mystic Falls, right? But only because Damon Salvatore placed a stake into her heart - you had to explain that. But you've not told her of Elena, have you? Or Caroline? Or the witch?"

"Why are you doing this, Rebekah?" he asks. "Why are you faking nice with her? What do you gain from this?"

"Did it ever occur to you that I might be lonely-" she starts.

"Yes." he says loudly.

She falls silent, while Matt continues.

"That did occur to me, but then I realized that you don't feel anything. You haven't lost anyone like we lost Alaric. You don't feel remorse, or guilt - You don't feel anything. So, how could someone who feels nothing feel lonely?" he watches her carefully, his words come out as harshly as he intended for them to.

Bitterness sweeps across her hardened features.

"Lovely chat, Matt."

The pain rings through her voice, and she makes no attempt to conceal it.

"Let's never do it again." she adds, turning on her heels.

"Fine with me!" he calls out.

Rebekah leaves without an explanation, and Johanna doesn't ask for one. Instead, she remains at her small table, smiles thankfully at Matt after he places a bottle of whiskey on her table, on the house, and a glass. He leaves her to silence, and she enjoys the peacefulness that comes with it.

Until Damon Salvatore finds her.

She glances up to find him moving towards her table, and stiffens up ever so slightly at the sudden sight of him. She doesn't stiffen up from fear, but rather her desire to kill him. Her need to kill has grown greatly with his sudden appearance.

She casts his eyes over his dark black pants, black shirt and leather jacket before she looks up towards his face. His expression is hardened and cold, and when their eyes finally look she catches a flicker of something unknown in his eyes.

Johanna turns back towards her drink, and hopes he will pass by.

He doesn't pass by.

"Ooh..." he feigns concern, as he dips his head down beside her.

He inspects the bandage covering the wound on her neck briefly before he sighs. "Looks nasty."

Without asking to do so, he pulls out the empty chair across from her and sits down on it. Damon releases a content sigh, and leans back against the chair, before he casts an obvious and long look over her.

"What happened to your neck?" he cocks his head back. "You didn't cut it on..Oh, I don't know...A shard of glass on a shattered window when you broke said window, climbed through it, and pulled a dagger out of a dangerous vampire in the cellar of a house the doesn't belong to you - did you?"

She glares at him as a clear smile plays on his lips.

"That's quite an elaborate assumption."

He smirks, but it isn't genuine, it is filled with disdain and bitterness.

"The rock slipped out of my hand." she answers finally.

The smile disappears from his face entirely. "The stake slipped out of mine."

She leans back in her chair. "Why are you here?"

She doesn't give him time to answer.

"And what makes you think that I won't kill you right here, right now?" she asks.

He shrugs effortlessly. "Let's just call it an inkling."

Damon pauses. "Why don't we just cut to the chase?"

She presses her lips together and waits for him to continue, but instead of speaking he picks up the bottle and drinks from it, sighing after.

"I know what you are, you know what I am." he states. "I could help you." he adds, gesturing towards the bandages on her neck.

Her eyes narrow in on him. "How?"

"I could train you." he answers casually.

Damon believes that he could train her to be better, faster and stronger, so she could become a more skilled hunter and kill any vampires that were placed before her.

"As appealing as that sounds..." she swallows the remaining contents of her glass. "I think I'll have to pass."

"Give it a try." he pushes the offer, but he sounds like he could care less what she choses.

"Why?"

Damon sighs heavily.

"You know...The whole 'looks can be deceiving' crap." he pauses. "I'm not offering twice."

She meets his gaze. "I'll have to pass."

"Alright, but don't say that I didn't try to help you the next time a vampire has their teeth in you..." he says, with a tone that almost mocks her.

She stiffens up in the chair and leans forward.

He looks amused.

"You sent them after me?" she asks.

"Me?" he gestures towards himself, before he sighs. "How lowly you think of me, Johanna."

"Yes." she agrees. "How lowly I think of you."

"Ouch, that hurt." he sarcastically answers.

She leans in closer towards him, her voice becomes lower and more threatening.

"Do you know what hurt?" she asks.

He pretends that he doesn't, and shakes his head. "No, tell me."

"Having a stake pressed into my beating heart." she says angrily, her teeth almost gritted together.

"Yeah, well, you'll live...You know, because you can't be killed or anything." he shrugs it off carelessly. "Look. I didn't come here for a girls night-"

"Why did you want me dead?" she cuts across him.

He waits a moment to answer.

"It's what I do." Damon replies.

She doesn't believe him.

"There's more to it than that." she shakes her head, disbelief clear in her eyes.

And Damon knows that she's right, but he'll never let her know that.

"No." he answers quickly. "There really isn't."

"I don't believe you."

He snaps as those words pass her lips.

Damon leans in closer, with darker eyes and a furious expression painted on his face.

"Yeah. Well, do you know what, Johanna?" he asks, bitterness and hatred ringing off of her name as it escapes his throat like a growl from an animal.

"I don't care." he draws the three words out just so she'll remember, for as long as she lives, that he _doesn't care_.

She leans back slowly, but never breaks his gaze.

"I don't care if you believe me, or not." he continues, venom dripping off each word. "I don't care what you do, and I sure as hell don't care if you live or die."

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) Sorry it took me so long to update, but here it is and I hope that you enjoy it. Thank you to everyone who reads my story, it means a lot to me and I hope you are enjoying it so far & enjoy where it goes.**

**I realised recently that I should probably just make it clear where in the TVD series this story is set (although it's a little obvious from some of the events, like Jeremy being a hunter and Elena being a vampire.) Anyway, this story is set in season 4 not long after Jeremy received the hunters mark and just before Damon, Matt and Jeremy went down to the lake house. :3**

**Oh, and in this chapter the italic section is a flashback, and the section in bold (And any future sections or paragraphs in bold) will be messages or notes written down.**

**I apologise now for any spelling errors I may have missed, and if you catch any please let me know.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**x**


	8. Minds of secret thoughts

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I don't want to run anymore. I've spent my whole life running_.

Once Matt has finished pulling up the blanket over Johanna, he moves towards the light by her bedside and switches it off. Next, he moves slowly and silently from the room as he doesn't wish to wake her from the sleep that she had so quickly fallen into. After exiting the room, he leaves the door slightly ajar so he may return to check in on her later without disturbing her or waking her from her rest.

Matt finds himself in the living room seconds later. He crashes down on the couch and exhales deeply, running his hands through his hair as he does. After a moment of silence, he pulls off his shoes and sets his head back against the couch. The second that his eyes shut his phone, which had been resting on the small wooden table in front of the couch buzzes, alerting him that he has a new message. He sighs and leans forward, swiping it up with his right hand his eyes quickly skim over the message.

He finds that it is from Elena:

**Matt, how'd tonight go? You didn't answer my calls. Did you have any trouble with Rebekah..Or Damon? **

Matt pauses for a moment as he considers her words, and then considers the events of the night. The only trouble he had with Rebekah was their brief argument, and then she was out of there, and Matt had only seen Damon once that night but he had quickly swiped a bottle of whiskey, he didn't pay for, from behind the bar and had left.

He quickly types up his reply.

To Elena: **Rebekah didn't stay long, and Damon left early. I heard something strange - Damon offered to train Johanna. She said no. Do you know anything about that?**

After sending his reply to Elena, Matt effortlessly discards his phone towards the end of the couch and stretches out on it. He yawns and scratches at his forehead, before shutting his eyes tightly and hope that sleep will come easily and quickly.

Small cracks of light slip through the crack in the blinds and the open doorway when Johanna wakes. She wakes early in the morning and rises quickly, at first she is uncertain about where she is but quickly takes in the details of the room and realises that she is in Matt's bedroom. A slight frown crosses her face as she skims over the room, wondering why it is she is in here.

"Matt?" she calls out, stepping out into the hallway.

He doesn't answer.

She walks slowly down towards the kitchen and turns towards the living room, finding Matt resting silently and peacefully on the couch. He looks incredibly uncomfortable, his head is placed in an awkward position and his right leg hangs awkwardly off the couch. She considers waking him at first, but quickly changes her mind and enters the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen she searches through it quickly until she finds what she is looking for. Moving as silently as she can, Johanna sets down two large plates on the table and then places two large glasses beside the plates. She steps towards the fridge and after looking over the contents and finding there isn't really too much she can cook with she retraces her steps down the hallway and returns to his room. She slips on her leather jacket, runs her fingers through her hair, and picks up the keys for her car form the bench.

Johanna leaves silently and quickly, because she doesn't want to wake Matt. She wants to do this for him, even if it's only breakfast, she knows that it isn't much but it's something that can show him how thankful she is.

* * *

Damon turns towards the doorway of his bedroom to find Elena stands before him, he exhales and stands up from the bed.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asks.

Then, he inches closer and finds that her hair is messy and unkempt, her eyes are puffy and red like she has been crying. He moves towards her and in seconds he is standing in front of her.

"What happened?" he watches her intently.

She sniffs and tucks her hair behind her ears. "Stefan. He's gone."

Confusion crosses over his face. "What? What do you mean, he's gone?"

"I mean..." she pauses, releasing a heavy sigh. "He left, Damon."

"Why?" his eyes narrow.

"Because...I admitted to him, and to myself, that I feel something...For you." she admits.

Damon stiffens up noticeably, but somehow remains entirely emotionless.

"Elena," he starts. "It's not-"

"Don't, Damon." she cuts across him. "Don't tell me that they aren't real, Damon. You have been the only one who has understood me. The only one who-"

"You've listened to." he cuts across her.

Elena inches closer. "Stefan told me about the sire bond. You knew, already?"

Damon nods. "He figured it out when you wouldn't drink from the bag, because I said you could only drink from the vein. The red dress, not the black one...And so on."

He drops his gaze from hers.

She shakes her head. "It's not a sire bond, Damon. Before this, before I was a vampire-"

"You didn't feel this way," he answers quickly. "You loved Stefan. You told me that you would always choose Stefan, and as much as it hurt I accepted that."

"I love Stefan, I do. With all of my heart, Damon. But I can't deny what I feel for you. I can't be with him when I might feel something for you, too. It wouldn't be right." she answers.

"And you can't be with me while you feel something for him." Damon states.

Elena shakes her head, slowly. "I don't – I don't know, Damon. I just…I need time to figure it out."

She steps towards him slowly and places her hands on is cheeks. "Give me time, Damon, please. I just need time to figure this all out."

Damon stares back at Elena with a blank expression on his features. He remains silent for a moment before he finally speaks, and when he does his voice is much lower.

"Fine." he answers.

* * *

When Matt wakes slowly from his peaceful and long rest he finds that the curtains have been drawn across and closed, and that a blanket has been draped over his body and now covers him entirely. A pillow has also been placed under his head, and he finds that he is more comfortable now than he was those hours earlier when he first fell asleep.

He looks up to the clock on the wall and sighs, finding that he's late for school. It doesn't bother him, because he's too tired to go and decides that he will make up for it tomorrow. Matt pulls himself upright and releases a sigh, before he runs his hands through his hair and stands from the couch. He hears small noises coming from the kitchen and steps towards it with caution.

A smell drifts from it and into the air as he nears it, and causes his stomach to grumble with hunger.

He finds Johanna in the kitchen, moving around quickly, her hair pulled up into a pony, dressed in the same clothes as last night.

"Morning, sleepyhead." she says, without turning to him.

Matt smiles and scratches at the back of his head. "How-How long have I been sleeping?"

"Hours." she answers.

Matt shifts his gaze away from where Johanna stands and towards the table, on it he finds two glasses filled with orange juice, maple syrup in a bottle and two bowls; one of the bowls is filled with sliced strawberries while the other is filled with sliced bananas.

"What-What is all of this?" Matt asks, a small smile spreading on to his face.

He glances up towards Johanna, who has only just turned around, and finds that she holds a plate stacked with pancakes.

"Breakfast or brunch." she casually says. "Didn't know what you wanted on top. So, help yourself."

"You didn't have to do this." he continues to smile at her.

"You didn't have to let me stay in your house." she moves towards a seat. "Besides, I'm more than capable."

His smile widens. "Oh, I know that."

She returns the smile and settles down on her seat. "How many do you want?"

The sound of Matt's phone beeping causes both of their eyes to flicker towards where it rests on the table in front of the couch.

"Oh, yeah." she sighs. "That's been going off all morning."

"I'll check it out." he nods, and steps towards it.

He picks up his phone and quickly skims over the messages, that are all from Elena. He pays the most attention to her most recent message, because it catches his immediate attention.

Elena: **Can we meet today? I really need to talk to you in private, Matt. It's urgent. Message me back, or give me a call when we can meet up.**

He messages her back speedily. **Is everything okay? Where do you want to meet?**

She replies in seconds: **At home.**

He knows that she means the Gilbert House, because it will always be her home even if she is currently staying at the Salvatore House. He instantly believes that something must be wrong, and returns towards the kitchen with the phone firmly in his hands.

"I've got to go." he shoves his phone into the pocket of his jeans. "I'm sorry. You went to this trouble-"

"It's fine, Matt." she shakes her head. "It wasn't a trouble. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah..." he answers, sliding on his jacket. "I think...I'll see you later."

She nods and watches him pick up his car keys, before speeding towards the door.

"Yeah," she nods. "See you."

* * *

Matt enters the Gilbert House without knocking and immediately hears someone moving around in the kitchen. He calls out to Elena, and she responds. He moves down towards the kitchen, and finds her inside making two mugs of coffee. She glances up at him and smiles, but he can see that she looks tired.

"Elena, what's going on?" he moves towards her side. "Where's Jeremy? Is he okay?"

She nods, her smile remaining. "Jer's fine, he's out with Bonnie...I think the fresh air will do him some good."

Matt falters, a frown crossing his features as he does.

"Thanks for coming, Matt." she extends a blue coffee mug to him.

He takes it fro her. "What's going on, Elena?"

She steps past him and moves towards the couch, he follows closely after and takes a seat across from her, setting his mug down on the table. Matt watches closely as he waits for her answer.

"There's something you need to know, Matt." she says quietly. "About Johanna."

Elena had been considering it all morning, and she has come to the conclusion that it would be for the best if Matt knew the truth, about how they need Johanna for her mark, how they need her to save Jeremy from losing his humanity or his life.

His frown deepens. "What about her?"

Elena exhales. "We need her."

"What?" he almost laughs at how confusing those simple words are.

"What do you mean, Elena? What are you talking about?" he asks.

She shifts in her seat. "What I mean, Matt, is that I need her...Jeremy needs her. Stefan - We need her for the cure, Matt."

Matt continues to hold her steady gaze. "Why? We have Jeremy?"

"You've seen what he's becoming, because of his mark. He's different. There are moments when...When the mark controls him. Jer isn't supposed to be like this, he can't lose his humanity. He can't, Matt, and I can't lose him. He's my world." she answers softly.

"You won't lose him, Elena." Matt replies. "I don't... I don't understand how Johanna ties in to this?"

"She's a hunter of the five."

"I know." he nods.

"Except her mark is bigger, because she's had more kills. She's more experienced. It means it would be less time to find the cure..." she holds his gaze still. "It also means that we don't have to use Jeremy to find the cure."

"Johanna doesn't know anything about the cure, Elena." Matt replies. "She hasn't spoken about helping vampires find anything but their deaths, I don't think she'd want to help."

Elena's expression shifts into a pained and remorseful one in seconds, and Matt knows what she has done. He understands what she is talking about, and the pieces come together. It's the reason why Elena has pushed to be closer to her, and the reason she was attacked by the vampire outside of the house.

Matt shakes his head quickly. "No. I don't- Please, tell me you're not using her to get the cure. Tell me you're not the reason that she was attacked by the vampire."

But Elena cannot deny these things because they are so hauntingly true. Damon had told her of how he had sent another vampire after her, a criminal, and how the vampire had snapped her neck and made it out alive. That was why Damon had offered to train Johanna. He would keep the true reasons behind wanting to train her secret, and simply say it was so she could protect herself in the future.

But the real reason was so she would become stronger, faster, and so she could kill vampires quicker and with more ease. He wanted to train her to lose all feelings of remorse and give in to her desire to kill whatever vampires came after her.

Elena sighs softly and moves towards Matt's side.

"Matt, I can't lose Jeremy. He is the only family that I have left." she says quietly. "I love him, so much, and I can't lose my brother."

"I know that, Elena, believe me I know. But what you're doing, the way you're going about it is wrong." he answers. "You're setting her up, and trying to use her. How is this plan going to work, Elena? I mean, have you even thought it through? You can't see her mark and Jeremy won't agree to it, and I can't agree to it."

"I know that he won't, right now. But as her mark grows, he'll-" she begins.

"Have to accept it? He won't and I can't – Why did you tell me this?" he asks. "What did you think I would say? That it's a good idea? Because it isn't."

She quickly shakes her head. "I don't want to do this, Matt. But it is the only way. Johanna is-"

"She's not family, so she doesn't matter? She's still a human, Elena. She's part of somebody's family."

"Damon wants to train her, okay, Matt?" she loudly answers. "He volunteered to train her so she'll grow stronger, she'll be able to protect herself. I need you to get her to agree to this."

"Building up her strength and making her able to protect herself physically won't protect her humanity. What if that disappears, Elena?" Matt asks.

"I can't lose my brother. I won't. He's all that I have, and I love him." she whispers. "I know that this is selfish, and wrong, but I have no other option and I need to protect him. I have to protect my brother."

* * *

Johanna glances up from the kitchen to find Matt entering, with a solemn look on his face and a small plastic bag in his hand. She casts a look over him before she smiles.

"Everything okay?"

He nods, looking over her and his place; the dishes have been cleaned and placed away, the blinds have been drawn back so more light may float into the once dark house, and she has tidied. He finds that she has changed into a short sleeve blue shirt and tight brown pants, with the same hard black boots on.

"You cleaned?" he manages a small smile.

"Yeah, I figured it was the least I could do." she shrugs. "Oh, and don't think you're taking the couch tonight. Because you are not. It's your bed, so sleep in it. Besides, I happen to find you couch the comfiest couch in the world."

The smile on his face falters before disappearing entirely.

"What?" her smile fades. "What's wrong, Matt?"

He draws in a sharp breath. "Er..Yeah, about that.."

Elena had told him about her plan and he felt guilty, keeping the truth from her. But that wasn't why he had to ask her to leave his house – he didn't want to ask her to leave. It was strange but he felt so comfortable, so relaxed, around her and when he wasn't with her a part of him missed her. He enjoyed coming home to find her, and he enjoyed her company. She reminded him of his sister but she mostly reminded him of Alaric.

Her smile, her eyes, and the way she held herself, reminded him of someone good.

He drew in another, tighter breath of air as he prepared himself to ask her to leave.

Elena had convinced him, after a long argument, that it would be for the best if Matt asked Johanna to leave. He would tell her he needed to return, to stay with Jeremy, and that he was sorry. Elena had told him that with no place to go, except her car, Johanna might accept Elena's offer to stay at the Salvatore Boarding House. She knew it was a long shot, and that Johanna would probably decline the offer, but she believed that if she had nowhere to stay she might accept it. Not only would this provide a great opportunity for Elena to become closer to Johanna, it might lead to her accepting Damon's offer to train.

"I'm sorry, Johanna." he watches her closely.

"You haven't done anything, Matt." she counters quickly.

"I'm leaving, here." he says. "I'm moving back in with Jeremy, permanently."

She knows what he means, even when he fails to say the words. He's telling her that he's leaving, to stay with Jeremy, and so she must also leave his house. She knows that it wasn't permanent., she knows she should have never expected it to be longer than a few days but a small part of her had hoped it might have turned in to something permanent.

Johanna nods, pressing her lips tightly together. She places down the cloth that she was wiping the table with, and lifts her right hand to her forehead.

She scratches the side of her head, quickly, before lowering her hands to her side.

"Johanna?"

"Mm?"

She was foolish and weak to believe that a deeper friendship could have developed between the two of them.

"I'm sorry…." he starts.

She shakes her head. "No, don't be."

Matt doesn't want this, he doesn't want to ask her to leave, but he doesn't want to lose Jeremy and a small part inside of him believes that they can successfully get the cure without causing Johanna to lose any of her humanity. Matt can't go along with their plan – he can't pretend that he agrees with it and he won't assist them anymore. This is the only thing he will do for Elena, in regards to their plan.

Perhaps, it's better if they don't live together because if they did he would feel such guilt as he saw her.

Matt rests against the kitchen wall as Johanna leaves to pick up her things. He waits in silence, until the sound of her footsteps alert him that she's returning to the kitchen and so he looks up to find her carrying a few bags in her hands. She manages a small smile but it is emptier and lacking something that it held when he had first entered the house.

"Where will you go, from here?" he asks her.

Johanna pauses. "Forward."

"Here." Matt says, quickly, taking one of the bags from her to carry.

He helps her to carry her bags out to her car which remains in the garage, after she has placed all of her bags in the back seat of her car she turns around to find Matt still standing behind her. He watches her with eyes that are almost unreadable and an expression of guilt.

He steps closer to her and moves to embrace her, she hesitates noticeably before she slowly puts her arms against his back.

"Thank you, Matt, for letting me stay here."

Matt puts his arms around Johanna and pulls her in tightly.

"Johanna…." he sighs.

"It's okay." she breaks the embrace.

If this is what he has to do, then she accepts it.

She's thankful for his kindness, and she will always be thankful of it.

Johanna takes a step back away from Matt, after pulling herself free of his arms she exhales heavily.

"Take care, Matt."

"You-You're leaving, town?" he asks.

"Not yet." she answers.

_Not without my brother._

Even though she has nothing physically holding her to Mystic Falls, she feels closer to her brother here then she has in months and she might find some closure here if she continues to learn about his life here.

"I'm tired of moving, all of the time…." she admits. "I'm tired of running. I don't want to do it anymore."

"You don't have to run." Matt answers quickly.

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that." she half smiles. "I'll see you soon."

He nods, managing to form a small smile in response. "I'll see you soon."

* * *

Without having to think about where it is she wants to go, she finds herself parked across the cemetery.

Several minutes pass before she slides out of her car and moves slowly towards her brother's grave, carrying a bottle of his favourite whiskey in her hand. She had intended to give it to him to drink, once she found him in town, but decides this will have to be it, this will have to do.

Instead of finding him in this town she found a ghost of the life that he had previously lived.

She steps slowly towards his grave, and once she reaches it she exhales loudly and kneels down before his tombstone. The first thing that she notices is that the date of birth carved is wrong.

"I'm not really sure..." she starts quietly.

A moment passes before she tears the lid off the whiskey and swallows a large mouthful. She sighs after, and then looks down to the grass around and to the side of his grave. She spots a few weeds growing, and after placing the bottle down carefully she begins to fiercely and angrily pull out the weeds.

She becomes so caught up in removing the weeds that she fails to notice the man approaching her cautiously.

"You've got some real issues with the weeds then, haven't you?" he asks, his British accent ringing through the air.

Johanna immediately glances up and finds a young man, with wavy shoulder length light brown hair which has been brushed back, standing before her. She looks over the stubble on his face, and the cut on his right cheek, before she lifts her eyes to lock with his light blue eyes.

"I'm just-" Johanna begins.

"Gardening?" he asks, taking another step towards her.

"Please, don't let me bother you…." he says, pausing when he spots the whiskey. "Actually, on second thought. May I bother you? Trouble you for a sip, perhaps? Graveyards do always tend to put a damper on ones spirits."

Johanna stands slowly with the bottle in her hand, she drinks from it quickly before she extends it to him.

"I promise I'm germ-free." he assures her.

"You knew him?" she asks, indicating towards her brother's graze.

As he swallows a mouthful of the whiskey his eyes flicker down towards the tombstone.

"Alaric Saltzman." he says, "I can't say I did. You knew him?"

She nods. "Yes."

"I am sorry for your loss." he says, holding the bottle back out to her. "

She takes it from him quickly.

"Loss and grief are quite unbearable emotions, aren't they? I suppose, that's why they make whiskey. And that sure is a fine one." he glances towards her.

Her eyes shift towards the bunch of yellow flowers in his right hand.

"I'm sorry...For your loss." she says quietly.

"Yes, well…" he sighs and steps away from her.

She watches as he moves towards several feet away, staying silent until he reaches a particular grave. He places all but one flower down on it, and then shuts his eyes.

She turns away.

"Here's to Alaric…." he says, appearing unexpectedly by her side.

He half bends over so that he may place a single flower on Alaric's grave.

"And may he rest peacefully." he says softly.

She nods but keeps her lips tightly pressed together.

"My apologies." he meets her gaze again. "My name is Cedric."

Her eyes flicker cautiously down towards his extended hand.

She shakes it finally. "Johanna."

"How did you know Alaric?" he asks. "If you do not mind me asking."

"My brother." she answers. "And you, who are you here for?"

He drops his gaze. "My wife...Er..Thank you for the company and the drink, Johanna..And the whiskey.

She nods.

Cedric glances back once more at her before he turns away slowly and begins to walk away, she looks in his direction for a second before she looks down upon the yellow flower.

Johanna swallows a final mouthful of whiskey before she sets the bottle down against his grave, bending down to screw the lid on as she does.

It takes all that she has to leave him and to walk to her car.

While she isn't sure if she can move forward from here, she knows with certainty that there is no going back.

Going back was never an option.

* * *

Shortly after leaving the cemetery, she had driven away and found a soft green, swaying willow tree which had look particular peaceful. She has parked her car underneath it, pulled out a smaller bottle of whiskey, and has sat on the front of her car, resting against the windshield. She shuts her eyes and draws in a long and sharp breath of air as the soft breeze of the afternoon sun moves over her.

The sound of her phone ringing from her pocket breaks the peacefulness.

She sighs and pulls it out, a frown already settled on it because she has no idea who would be calling her.

She answers hesitantly. "Hello...?"

"Hi, Johanna." Matt answers quickly. "It's Matt."

She sighs. "How did you get my number?"

"Elena." he answers.

A silence momentarily forms between them.

"Is there something I can help you with?" she asks.

Matt hesitates. "Can we meet up?"

Johanna exhales deeply. "I'm busy."

"Oh, yeah, you look _real_ busy." Damon sarcastically announces from beside her.

She immediately glances up and finds Damon standing tot he right of her, dressed in black leather pants and a long sleeved dark blue shirt. He wears an unreadable gaze, and has his deep eyes narrowed in on her.

"I'll get back to you..." she ends the call. "What the hell do you want?"

"Don't worry," he holds her gaze, as she slides off the car and steps towards him. "I didn't come here for you."

Damon came to find Alaric.

She looks down at the bottle in his own hand, before she lifts her gaze to meet his.

"So….." he draws out. "It's still a firm, stubborn and stupid, no on the whole, you know, training-that-could-save-your-life." he says.

"You don't care about my life." Johanna counters.

He nods. "You're right, I don't care…._But_….I'm training Jeremy…."

She frowns. "And you thought I'd be interested?"

"In living?" Damon asks.

A deeper frown spreads over his face.

"Yeah, I know. What a foolish thing of me to assume. Oh, and it wasn't my idea to ask you, it was Elena's. So, don't flatter yourself. You're right, I don't care." he snaps back.

"Elena, why does she-?"

"Why does she care?" Damon asks.

"Because of…" he begins but Alaric's name does not pass his lips.

He pauses, drawing in a sharp and painful breath.

"Like I said, I don't care. The blood won't be on my hands."

But the blood is already on Damon's hands, he knows that.

It stains his hands, and his skin and his teeth, and he knows that he is already so deeply stained with it that he could never possibly come clean.

With time, the blood doesn't fade.

It only thickens, and deepens, and it becomes a part of who he is and he knows that can't remove it. He can't deny it. He can't forget about it because as he glances down to his hands he sees it, and when he looks upon Johanna he sees more blood.

He has to train her so that she can kill the vampires they set up for her instead of having her being killed by them. He has to lie to her, to train her. He has to train her under the guise of training Jeremy. For brief seconds, he almost feels uncomfortable about this whole situation but then he's reminded of Elena, and how Jeremy is her only family, and he wants to do this for her. He thinks of Elena and how if they find the cure, and if she takes it, then her true feelings will be clear.

It's all for Elena.

And Damon doesn't care; he doesn't care about Johanna, or himself, and he wouldn't care about this damn cure if it weren't for Elena.

He casts one quick look over Johanna before he steps away, with an emotionless face, and begins moving towards Alaric.

Damon trusted Alaric.

He was one of the only people who Damon ever really cared about but he's gone now and it's because of Alaric that Damon _almost_ feels uncomfortable and regretful.

But then he stops himself from feeling those things because he doesn't feel anything.

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) thanks for reading my story, I hope that you are enjoying what has happened so far & I hope you like where it will go. I will admit that I'm not the happiest with this chapter..But, chapter 9 makes up for it. I don't want to spoil too much...So I'll just say that so far it's one of my favourite chapters of the story, and that there will be a couple surprises and a bit of action. :) **

**A special thanks to GoodBayou, SophStratt and kili-grabmyhand :3**

**As always, thank you for reading - it means so much to me.**

**Enjoy! **

**x**


	9. Embedded in the frost

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_Why do you kill people?_

When Johanna enters the grill she finds that it is busy and buzzing with crowds of people, her eyes skim over the room instantly, a habit of hers, as she takes in each and every required detail before she shifts her gaze towards the bar where Matt stands, wiping down a counter.

He is oblivious to her presence.

For a moment she stands still, deciding on what she will say and if she will approach him. Rebekah appears suddenly, from behind her, and moves to stand in front of her.

"Can't seem to shake you, can I?" Rebekah tilts her head to the right.

"Apparently not." Johanna answers, shifting her gaze. "I wasn't expecting to see you again."

Rebekah frowns slightly, and pauses. "Why is that?"

"What, apart from me being a hunter?" she asks. "Well, the way you left the other night seconds after arriving."

She watches as Rebekah shift slightly in her stance, drawing in a small breath of air as she does.

"Yeah, well, it was just a drink because..." she starts.

"But you won't do it again," she says, knowing that the drink was Rebekah's way to make amends for momentarily killing her.

"You remember our truce." Rebekah answers.

She has her own reasons for the truce, for being cautious of Johanna. She's a hunter of the five, and Rebekah believes that Johanna is stronger, faster, and more capable than she is letting on. She also believes that if she were to become closer to Johanna, she might have a better chance at getting the cure.

She doesn't have much of a chance when the key to the cure rests on Elena Gilbert's brother's body, but she might have a chance with Johanna - she might have a chance to find the cure first.

"I do." Johanna nods. "But you have to remember I can't say with certainty-"

"I know, and neither can I." Rebekah impassively answers, pausing slightly. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

A frown forms on her face. "Nothing, so far..."

"Good." Rebekah announces, smiling instantly. "I'm throwing a birthday party for April Young. You haven't met her yet, she's a lovely girl..I'll see you there?"

Johanna shakes her head, instantly refusing the offer. "No. I don't think so."

"Johanna," Rebekah says, a serious look spreading over her face. "Come on. The drinks are free, and it'll be a chance for you to scope out the rest of the town and so on. A night to clear your head. To forget your...Hunting urges."

"No." she shakes her head.

"Please," Rebekah pushes. "It'll be my way to make it up to you, to show you a good time."

"Fine," she gives in. "One drink."

Rebekah smiles like she's pleased with herself. "Good."

After exchanging numbers, something Johanna didn't see herself doing when she first came into town, she makes her way down to the bar where Matt rests. He looks up and once he catches sight of her a look of guilt fills his eyes. Matt takes a step out from behind the bar and moves in her direction.

"Thanks for coming." he manages a small smile.

She nods and watches him curiously, like she's searching for something, searching for the source of his guilt or the reasons behind it.

"Look, Johanna, about today..." Matt sighs.

"Don't, Matt." she cuts across him.

"I want you to move in." Matt blurts out loudly.

A frown immediately deepens on her face instantly, she raises her right hand to her forehead and rubs it like she has a headache.

"What the- I don't..." she exhales, and looks up at him. "What are you talking about, Matt?"

"I want you to stay with me." he says.

Johanna shakes her head. "You just asked me to leave, Matt. Like, four hours ago."

"I know, but I thought about it and there is a spare room at the Gilbert House. If you don't want a room, there's a couch." he smiles kindly.

Matt believes it might be good for her to stay at the Gilbert House, instead of alone in her car or at the Salvatore House.

This is the safest option for her, he believes.

But she refuses it instantly.

"No, Matt." she answers. "Thanks, but no thanks."

She pulls away from him, a brief smile on her face. "Take care of yourself."

She turns away seconds later, and sets her eyes on the door as she moves towards it.

Johanna isn't refusing his offer because she doesn't want to stay with him, or sleep on something other than the backseat of her car, because she does.

Matt has been nice to her throughout all of this, he has been thoughtful and kind from the beginning and she wil always be grateful for that but sometimes it's best to let things end before they begin, before any real harm can come to them.

It's better this way, he's safer this way, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

* * *

Johanna moves slowly and silently up the set of stairs that lead towards the front door of Rebekah's house. She casts her eyes quickly over the front of the house, which is beautifully lit up with lanterns and decorations, before she moves closer to the door.

Groups of unfamiliar and loud people stand on the front lawn and the veranda running across the front of the house, she moves past them unnoticed and for that much she is glad. Johanna doesn't know the exact reason she is here, but believes that perhaps she connects with a loneliness that she can see in Rebekah, the loneliness which is silently taking over and weakening her.

It takes all of her strength to not to search out for vampires, to not find them and stake them in the heart, or tear their heads off.

Johanna embraces who she is, a hunter of the five, but she also embraces who she was before this - she can't let the person she was before go because they are connected to Alaric, and she can't lose the little ties that she has left to her brother.

After moving through the front door, and stepping down a seat of stairs inside, she looks over the beautiful lights hanging from the ceiling before she looks briefly over the people in her room. She slides her purse between her elbow and stomach, to hold it there for a moment, while she lowers her hands down and runs them down the front and side of her dress to flatten it out and remove any creases.

She doesn't own many nice clothes, or any fancy dresses, but she does have a few simple dresses, like the ones Alaric gave her as presents in the past. She opted for one of those dresses tonight.

After glancing up, she finds a familiar pair of deep blue eyes watching her closely.

Damon stands across the room from here, in a long sleeve black shirt, a pair of tight black pants and shiny shoes, with Elena and a light haired teenage girl by his side.

For a long moment, Damon finds that he can't lift his eyes off of Johanna.

He silently tells himself it's because she's a hunter and he has to keep his eyes on her, but he soon loses that thought as his eyes skim over her. His eyes flicker over her short brown dress, which is soft and reaches just above her knees, before they move down toward the pair of brown boots she is wearing. Her hair is curled like it was the last time they saw each other, and bounces by her side.

He takes note of the fact that she still wears all of her rings and bracelets, and when he looks over the rings he finds himself wondering which ring resurrects her, which one protects her from permanent death.

"Johanna," Rebekah steps towards her, unintentionally blocking Damon's view of Johanna.

"You came." she says, a hint of surprise and happiness to her tone.

Rebekah stands before her with her long hair curled, dressed in a short red lace dress. She smiles at Johanna still.

She nods. "I came."

Uncertainty rings off her voice.

"The drinks are all around. I'll be back later, we can have a chat." she says. "Oh, and please, try not to kill any of the party guests. It might dampen the mood."

Johanna nods again. "Okay."

When Rebekah turns to move away she comes to face Jeremy and Matt directly, as they enter her house. The two meet her gaze instantly, shooting her a look that warns her they are here for April.

She seems to understand this, by the way she steps away quickly and moves out of the room.

Matt turns to the left to find Johanna standing alone under an archway of a nearby door, Jeremy soon follows his gaze towards her and smiles as they step towards her.

"You came." Matt says, disbelief echoing off of his voice.

"I still don't believe it myself," she answers, before turning to Jeremy. "How are you doing?"

He knows why she's asking this; she knows how difficult it is to be around a vampire and not kill them, especially when every part of you is screaming and shouting at you to kill them, to tear out their heart or remove their head, and be done with it.

Somehow, you fight it.

Johanna has had time and practice fighting off these voices, these constant urges, but she doesn't pretend that they don't exist because they do, and she knows she can't fight them off forever.

They'll come for her one day, and on that day they'll be powerful and overwhelming and she won't stand a chance at fighting them.

"I'm okay." Jeremy nods, releasing a deeply held sigh. "What about you?"

She nods, and by this simple gesture he knows what she means.

She's surviving it but barely, her desire is eating her up just like it's eating him up.

"I, er..." Matt starts, catching sight of Caroline gesturing to him.

She's gesturing for her to join him.

He turns back and smiles. "We should go and see.."

"Sure." she nods briefly, before turning her back on them and moving towards the table piled with bottles and glasses.

Jeremy pauses after taking a single step, immediately glancing back to the place where Johanna had previously stood.

He thought he heard something, as he turned; a voice, an echo, a whisper.

And he was right.

Jeremy doesn't find Johanna standing underneath the archway, instead he finds a familiar face that he both longs and dreads seeing.

He longs to see this face because he misses them, feels emptier without them, and cares for them greatly. He dreads seeing it because with their presence comes a haunting pain and reminder that they couldn't save him.

Alaric stands in the archway where his sister had previously stood, watching Jeremy closely.

For a moment he stands still and silent, before eventually he steps towards Jeremy with a small smile on his face.

"Jeremy." Alaric says warmly, the smile on his face.

Jeremy is at a loss for words - the last time he saw Alaric was when Elena died, and he shouldn't be seeing him now because he's a hunter.

"Jeremy?" Matt calls out.

Jeremy is quickly pulled from Alaric and forced back into reality, he turns quickly towards Matt, his breathing heavy.

Matt wears a deep concern on his face.

"You okay?" Matt asks.

Jeremy nods.

"We can leave if you want." Matt suggests.

Jeremy agrees instantly. "Yeah."

Matt manages a small smile. "I'll go tell April we came, but we have to leave."

He steps away quickly, wanting to find April as quickly as they can so they can get out of this house.

Jeremy draws in a deep breath of air and runs his hands quickly through his hair.

He pauses before he looks up to find Alaric standing in front of him now, their eyes lock and for a moment their is silence.

"Hi, Jeremy." his smile rests. "You okay?"

Jeremy doesn't understand why Ric has come here, how he is here, and how any of this is possible now that he's a hunter. After looking around at those near him, he turns back and finds Ric has vanished. Jeremy takes the stairs two at a time, unsure of where exactly he is going but knowing that he can't remain down here if Ric comes back to him.

After watching Jeremy's sudden departure from the room, Johanna retraces his earlier footsteps and follows him upstairs to check in on how he is. When she reaches the top of the staircase the door at the end of the hallway closes. She walks down to the door and after a second of hesitation she turns it and steps inside.

Johanna finds herself inside a large bathroom, with black marble tiles on the floor and dark gray walls. A large bench with a sink runs across the furthest wall, and to the right of that a glass shower stands. A white bathtub rests a few feet from where she stands.

She sets her eyes on Jeremy, who stands with his back to her, a few feet from the door.

He hasn't noticed her presence yet.

"Yeah...We're good." he murmurs.

"What's going on in here?" Damon abruptly and loudly asks.

Johanna and Jeremy simultaneously spin around to find him in the doorway. Damon casts a brief look over them, confusing forming on his creased features as he silently questions what they were doing up here.

Damon enters and shuts the door, moving inside and closer to Johanna.

She holds her ground. "I was checking on Jeremy."

"I don't need checking on." Jeremy quickly says.

Damon nods. "Little Gilbert's right. He doesn't need checking on, and even if he did he certainly doesn't need it from you." he sharply says.

"He's here." Jeremy vaguely announces.

The frown on Damon's features deepens. "What?"

"Alaric." he answers simply.

Damon knows exactly what Jeremy means, even though it appears that Johanna has no idea.

His expression remains unreadable as he tries to figure out why the hell Ric would appear here, and now - and then it dawns upon him that it could be because they are currently inside Rebekah's house and she's the reason Ric died permanently.

"What?" Johanna asks loudly.

Confusion sweeps over her, overwhelms her, and she can't escape it.

"I can't choose when he comes to me. He just does." Jeremy admits, glancing between the two of them.

Alaric, who had previously stood beside Jeremy, moves towards Johanna.

He casts his eyes over her, taking in each detail that he can. It takes him a moment to speak again.

"Annie?" he asks, a sad smile breaking out on his face. "Is that Annie?"

Jeremy turns briefly to the place where Alaric stands, to his left, before he looks up to Johanna.

"He asks if you're Annie." Jeremy says simply.

Those few words are enough to set her off.

She doesn't understand why Jeremy, out of all people, would want to play this sick game with her mind. Her brother is dead, he can't be here.

Quickly and harshly, she grabs him and slams him into the wall, pinning him there with her arm pressing tightly under his throat.

She tries to keep herself together but fails.

"You're a liar!" her tone is much darker. "He can't be here."

Her expression is filled with anguish and torment.

Jeremy doesn't fight her. "I'm not lying."

Damon moves behind Johanna instantly, and places a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Johanna..." Damon sighs, no repulsion or hatred in his voice. "Come on."

Johanna flinches at Damon's sudden touch but doesn't recoil from it, instead she pretend she isn't here and focuses everything on Jeremy.

"Why-"

"He's still here." Jeremy cuts across her.

She still doesn't believe him.

"I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing-" she starts.

"Come on, Johanna." Damon cuts her off, "Come on."

"You're a liar," her voice is strained and echoes with pain. "You're lying. He isn't here, he can't be."

Damon pulls her away from Jeremy finally, but the moment that her mind registers that Damon's hand is on her shoulder she recoils from his touch.

"He can't be here." she repeats.

"I'm not lying." Jeremy promises.

She still doesn't believe him. "Then, you're crazy."

"Three," Alaric says, as he moves to Jeremy's side. "She'll know what it means."

"Alaric said three." Jeremy says.

She instantly takes a step back from Jeremy, now unaware of Damon's intense gaze. Her eyes stay settled and locked in on Jeremy because there is no way that he could know what it means.

"He says you should know what it means." Jeremy adds.

Jeremy briefly looks to Alaric, and finds he is watching his sister so carefully, and that his expression is complicated and mixed.

"Not messing around, are you?" Damon asks.

Jeremy quickly shakes his head. "I'm not. Just like I wasn't messing around with Rose."

Damon pauses. "You can really see him?"

Vulnerability slips through Damon's voice, but it is a tiny shard and goes unnoticed by Jeremy. But Alaric notices this because he knows his best-friend better than anyone else does, and he knows and notices everything about him.

"I can." Jeremy nods. "He's here with us."

Damon turns to where he believes Alaric stands and speaks.

"Great timing, Ric. As always."

"Uh..." Jeremy starts. "He's actually on the other side..."

Jeremy points to where Ric has moved to, only several feet away from Johanna and Damon.

"Can you tell her I can't believe she's here?" Alaric asks, inching closer towards his sister who stands still like she's frozen.

"He says that he can't believe you're here." Jeremy passes on the message.

Johanna exhales shakily, raising her hand to her lips. She draws in a tight and painful breath of air before she lowers her hands to her side.

"Where is he?" she asks.

"Five feet in front of you." he answers.

She takes four small and slow steps to where Alaric stands, glancing briefly at Jeremy who nods and lets her know she is standing directly in front of Alaric now.

"What's he doing?" she asks, returning her eyes to emptiness.

"He's smiling."

Damon shifts uncomfortably and releases a small sigh, but doesn't leave the room because he wants to speak to Ric, and he doesn't want to leave the room while Alaric is still inside it.

A small sob rises in Johanna's throat.

She smiles painfully as she lifts her hand up in the air slowly.

Jeremy watches as Alaric slowly lifts his hand and tries to press it against her, with no success as expected.

"Tell them I'm happy to see them." Alaric announces.

"He says that he's happy to see you both." Jeremy announces, turning briefly to an empty looking Damon.

"Why can't I see him?" she drops her hand finally.

"It's complicated. I died, a lot of times. I don't know, I think that almost dying brings us closer to the other side.." Jeremy answers quietly.

She moves away from the emptiness, exhaling heavily as she does.

"I can't.."

Alaric watches his sister sadly, wanting her to stay, needing her here.

"Tell her I want her to stay," Alaric almost pleads. "Tell her there's so much we have to talk about."

"Ric says he wants you to stay-" Jeremy starts.

Johanna cuts across him. "I'm sorry but I can't do this."

With that, she turns and moves towards the door.

No one stops her from leaving, and she moves outside quickly.

Alaric turns to Jeremy, a small smile. "How are you and Elena doing?"

"Good." Jeremy nods.

"And Damon...How's he doing?" Ric glances towards Damon.

"He's talking about me, isn't he?" Damon sighs. "How do you think I'm doing, Ric? You left me here to babysit."

"No one asked you to do it, Damon." Jeremy answers quickly.

"I know that," Damon sharply retorts, unable to hide the anger that had been building up inside of him. "But that doesn't mean that you don't all need it."

"Jeremy," Ric sighs. "Can you tell Damon that I miss him?"

"He says he misses you." Jeremy says.

Damon pauses at the doorway, and turns around slowly, unknowingly meeting Alaric's gaze.

He stares into the eyes of his best-friend without knowing he is doing so, nodding slightly.

He leaves the room in an attempt to leave behind the pain and haunting guilt that arises whenever he thinks of Alaric, which is almost always.

* * *

The soft, clear blue water bouncing with reflections of light creates a peaceful and calming feeling as Johanna nears it.

She moves down a set of marble stairs towards the pool, pausing briefly to glance back at the crowds that are being drawn inside for the cutting of the cake. Not a soul in that room of strangers is going to notice her absence. She picks up her pace, and moves down towards the soft blue water beckoning to her, calling her to sink beneath it, tempting her to fall beneath and never rise.

The moonlight falls softly on the water, creating a darker atmosphere, causing it to look darker and cold, but she still finds it sweet and inviting.

She gives in to temptation.

Johanna walks down towards the furthest, deeper end of the pool, where she removes her boots and all of her jewellery, including her rings and watch. She places the rings inside of her boots, and steps towards the edge of the pool. After briefly closing her eyes and drawing in a long breath of air, Johanna sits down on the edge and slowly dips her feet into the water, dangling them into the cool water.

The water is icy cold, but it is soothing and she feels herself being drawn further into it.

She grips onto the edge of the pool and lowers herself down slowly into the cool water, with no moment of hesitation or regret she submerges entirely beneath the water. Her back presses against the corner of the pool, and she settles her palms flat against the wall to stop herself from returning to the surface before she is ready to.

Johanna wants to see Alaric, she needs to see him, and this could be her way to doing that. Jeremy said that he had almost died so many times that Alaric had come to him, along with other ghosts. She wanted to do whatever she could to see him again.

She opens her eyes and stares out into the great blue emptiness before her, shortly after she finds her body fighting for air but she wasn't ready yet, she hadn't come close enough yet, she hadn't seen Alaric yet. The thought of failing at this, and never waking, doesn't frighten her as much as it should.

She is alone in this world, there is no one for her to live for except for herself.

All that she had left was her brother, and he was gone.

This was her way to see him again, and she would see him one way or another.

Damon believed that he had heard the sound of water splashing in the pool, from where he had stood at the back of the room as the cake was cut. He had believed it was probably a drunken guest going for a late night swim.

He slips away unnoticed by the crowd and moves outside quickly, taking the stairs two at a time until he nears the pool.

He halts when he sees her shoes resting at the edge of the pool, and when he finds no trace of her Damon pushes forward until he sees her.

Damon finds her lit up by moonlight, floating beneath the water.

When his mind register what it is she's doing, he dives into the water without hesitation and once he is beneath it he swims towards her, grabs her tightly by the waist and drags her to the surface. He settles her body down on the ground outside of the pool; she is cold and feels small in his arms.

He leans back from where he kneels beside her, and expects her to say something or turn to him but she doesn't. She doesn't move and she doesn't speak, and upon closer inspect he finds that she doesn't seem to be breathing. His eyes skim over quickly and he now takes note of her missing rings, so whatever it was that gave her the power of resurrection is gone.

Damon leans down over her body and begins to press down on her chest, giving her CPR to bring her back to life. After several failed attempts, it works and she wakes quickly, water spilling out of her mouth. He turns her on her side just as she vomits out the pool water she'd swallowed.

Johanna vomits for a moment, her body heaves heavily in and out. He doesn't leave her side, not that he knows why he's staying or what he's waiting for, Damon quickly decides he's staying out of his loyalty to Alaric. Damon watches as she rolls on her back and exhales deeply.

She draws in deep, shuddering breathes of air before she manages to pull herself up. Her body shakes and shivers, her lips and body are pale.

"What the hell were you doing?" Damon asks, growling almost.

He stands quickly, his eyes never leaving her. "Trying to off yourself in a pool? Are you seriously that stupid?"

She stands unsteadily on shaky legs, and it takes her a second to find her feet and stand upright.

"What the hell were you doing?" she bites back, through heavy and uncontrollable breathes.

"Oh, sorry for saving your life." Damon snaps back.

She shoots him a look that he understands; she doesn't know why he would save her life when he only recently tried to take it.

"You should be," Johanna meets his gaze. "I was so close."

Damon's frown deepens. "To dying?!"

"To seeing him." she answers, her voice quieter.

"What?" Damon asks.

"Alaric." she murmurs, her eyes moving towards the glistening surface of the water. "His eyes.."

Damon sighs angrily with frustration before he moves towards her.

"Do you think you're the only person who has lost somebody?" he asks, his tone much darker and filled with more anger. "Well, you're not and I can guarantee that there are other people in this world who have lost a hell of a lot more than you have and they don't do what you just did. They move on."

"Out of the two of us," she steps forward, angered greatly by his previous words. "I can guarantee you I care more-"

"You're right," Damon steps forward. "I don't care about you or your life, or whoever you have lost. But I cared about Alaric-"

"And if it weren't for him, you would have staked me in the heart by now." she murmurs.

Johanna sighs and tries to step past him, but Damon moves as she does and grabs her forcefully by the wrists preventing her from going anywhere.

"No," he snaps, his voice filled with venom.

The animal inside escapes it's restraint in this moment.

"I would have removed all of your rings, and then I would have hit a lung so I could have had the pleasure of watching you die a slow and painful death."

He glares at her for several long seconds before she pulls her arms free of his grip, and backs away from him. She turns her back on him and kneels down to her belongings, scooping them up quickly because she needs to get away from him.

When she turns back Damon is gone.

* * *

Matt and Jeremy rest in the warm kitchen drinking a hot mug of coffee, and eating a few small biscuits. The sound of a loud knocking at the door breaks their conversation, which was filled with happier memories and caused them to laugh, alerting them that they aren't alone anymore.

Matt glances up at Jeremy and smiles. "I'll get it." he says.

Jeremy nods. "Thanks."

Matt steps towards the door cautiously, knowing without glancing back that Jeremy lingers in the archway, keeping an eye on him. He knows that Jeremy will always have his back, just like Jeremy knows Matt will always have his; they are best friends, brothers, and they will always be there for each other.

After turning the handle slowly, Matt opens the door and finds Johanna standing in front of him dripping with water. Her hair is wet and curly, her dress is damp, and her hands are free of rings. She carries a pair of boots in her hands, and when he meets her gaze she manages a small smile.

She looks uncomfortable, and uncertain of how to proceed.

Matt steps out onto the veranda. "Here." he removes his coat quickly, sliding it over her shoulders.

"You look freezing. What happened to you?"

She shrugs, and her smile remains. "Late night swim."

"It's freezing out." he counters.

Johanna pauses noticeably. "You, er...Is that couch still available? Or did I blow my chance..."

Matt knows that this is difficult for her to do, to come willingly to the house that she knows Alaric once lived in. He also has a small idea of how difficult it is for her to ask this, to depend on someone else, because he knows how much of a strong believer she is in not relying on other people to do things for you.

Jeremy nods. "Yeah, the couch is free. If you want it."

Matt turns back and finds Jeremy standing behind him. He quickly turns back to Johanna, who nods.

"I do." her voice is softer.

Jeremy smiles. "Alright. How about I show you where that shower is, before you get a cold, and Matt and I can get your bags from the car?"

All that she can do in response to his suggestion is smile thankfully.

Once Jeremy has showed her to the show, and they have carried her bags inside, Matt and Jeremy return to their warm mugs of coffee.

"Why'd you change your mind?" Matt finally asks the question that had been playing on his mind. "You said she was chaos.."

"Like you said," Jeremy glances up. "She needs a little help."

Matt lifts an eyebrow. "And you want to help her?"

"Yeah, I do." Jeremy nods in response.

A wide smile spreads over Matt's face. "I knew you would, man. I knew it."

Jeremy returns the smile. "I want to help her because she needs it...Because if I was in her situation, I'd want help. But above all, I want to do it for Ric."

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) Thank you for reading my story! I hope you're having fun, and are enjoying where the story is headed. Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews, and who place my story as a favourite. :3**

**Guest review:**

**Guest 7/28/13 . chapter 8: **Dear, Guest :) Thank you! Haha yes, the poor uneaten pancakes (personally I couldn't leave if they were freshly made with strawberries and syrup :P ) hopefully you enjoy the turn of the events of this chapter. Damon's interactions and attempts to train her will become...Interesting. I'll just say that, and it's definitely not the end of it. I'll also hint that Damon might take certain measures to get her to train. Thanks so much, I'm really glad that you're still loving the characterizations :) Thank you so much for reading my story, and reviewing :D x

**A special thanks to dear Guest reviewer & SophStratt :) for your kind reviews of chapter 8.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**x**


	10. The weak world

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_Because I like it…It's in my nature. It's who I am._

The morning is a dark yet calm one, as Johanna wakes to a very dimly lit room. The sound of rain falling down, outside and on to the roof, almost eases Johanna back to sleep but she finds she doesn't need it. She rolls over on the couch so that she is resting on her back. She'd slept so peacefully, with no disturbances, last night and for that she is so thankful for as it has been quite some time since she has had a good night sleep.

She moves so that she is sitting, on the couch, and pauses before she hears movement in the kitchen. Slowly she stands, leaving the blanket behind on the couch, and enters the kitchen wearing an oversized green shirt and long, blue, cotton pants and socks. She finds Matt in the kitchen; his hair messy and shoved to the side, dressed in a large white shirt and a similar color blue pajama pants.

He turns around to face her with a mug in his hand. He smiles as he catches sight of her.

"Morning, sleepy-head." he announces. "Want a coffee?" he asks, quickly putting down the mug and reaching for another.

She nods. "Sleepy-head?" she asks.

"You went out like a light last night." he answers.

"I did?" she asks, stepping towards him.

As he begins to make her a coffee, he replies, "Yeah. How'd you sleep?"

"Good." she replies, after a brief moment of silence. She takes another step towards Matt, as she asks, "So, what are you doing, today?"

"I've got work tonight but that's it…" he replies. "Why?" he asks.

"Well…." she begins. "I happened to notice an X-box….You up for the challenge?"

Matt laughs, loudly. "Challenge?" he laughs, again. "You can try but you won't beat me…." he adds, still smiling.

"Awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?" Johanna asks, laughing as she speaks. "I guess we'll see." she says, as she takes the mug from him with a smile on her face.

Johanna follows Matt back to the couch, and they both place their mugs of hot coffee down on to the table in front of the couch. He sets up the X-box, quickly, and after a moment of consideration they both agree on a game. Matt takes a seat down beside Johanna, on the couch, and after passing her a controller he pulls the blanket up over his legs and without even realizing he has done such a thing he pulls the blanket up over her legs to make sure she's completely underneath the blanket, so she won't be cold.

As she turns to Matt, grinning, Johanna says, "Prepare to have your butt kicked."

The rain remains with them, as the day moves on, but it creates a cool and calm atmosphere. Jeremy joins Johanna and Matt downstairs, only a few minutes after hearing the X-Box going. He makes his own coffee, gets a bowl of cereal for each of them, and joins them on the couch. He sits down next to Johanna, pulling the blanket up over his legs, and the three of them play the X-Box for hour, after hour, not realizing how much time passes them.

Today they need this. The three of them need this day today. Matt needs a day with his friends, a day that has nothing to do with anything remotely supernatural. Jeremy needs this day, after seeing Alaric at Rebekah's house. He needs a calm, quiet day. Johanna also needs this day, for the same reasons, and they are all so deserving of this day.

The three spend the day playing X-box, laughing, joking, and eating a lot of food. It's only as the world outside them becomes darker, Matt realizes he has a shift. He'd been tempted to call in sick but he needs the money, he can't deny that, and so he reluctantly hands the controller over to Johanna.

They'd all had their share of wins and losses today but Matt had a suspicion that Johanna had been purposely losing after she'd beaten him badly in the first game.

Johanna heads upstairs for a shower shortly after Matt leaves and changes in to a pair of dark gray shorts and a blue singlet. She carries her sweater, with her, and finds Jeremy in the kitchen pouring some water into a glass.

He glances up as he catches sight of her, his eyes flickering towards her mark. It's longer, than his is, and this has to be the first time that he has seen it clearly.

She steps towards him, observing what she can see of his marking.

"Yours is longer." he states, as he rolls up the sleeve of his shirt so that she can see his marking.

His mark just reaches past his wrist while Johanna's is about half way to her elbow.

"Just." she answers. She pauses, breathing inwards, before she asks, "Do you know what it means?"

Johanna steps towards Jeremy, allowing him to view the rest of her mark because hers is longer, there's more to it. He lifts his hand, touching the mark ever so slightly and gently.

"I-" Jeremy begins.

"Well, isn't this cozy." Damon announces, as he appears unexpected and unannounced in the kitchen.

Jeremy glances up at him, quickly; he hadn't noticed him slip in, through the front door, but then he guesses that Damon must have entered through Elena's window like he has so many times before.

"What are you doing here?" Jeremy asks, taking a step towards him.

Johanna remains silent, watching Damon closely and carefully.

She wears a guarded, emotionless, expression on her hardened features.

Her lips remain pressed together.

"Babysitting you..." Damon replies, with a clear hint of anger in his voice.

"Sorry, didn't mean to intrude on you two touching each other." he adds, taking a step towards them.

"He's like, what, half your age?" Damon asks, glancing towards Johanna now. "You're old enough to be his mother. But, I guess-" he begins.

"I'm twenty five." she answers, sharply, her voice so cold.

"And I'm one hundred and seventy." he answers, quickly.

"I don't need a babysitter." Jeremy states, loudly, as he holds Damon's unwavering gaze.

"Well, your sister happens to think you do." Damon replies, quickly. "Believe me when I say that this is not how I want to spend my night." he adds.

"Then don't spend it like this." Johanna says, taking a step towards Damon. "I'm here, with him. He doesn't need you to babysit, as you put it…" she adds.

"As great an idea as that sounds…." Damon begins. "I think, after last night's incident, that it'd be better to have someone less unstable hanging around, watching someone just as unstable." he says, watching Johanna carefully and with a small smirk on his face.

"Last night's incident?" Jeremy asks, glancing between Johanna and Damon. "With Alaric?" he asks.

"It's not your place to talk about, Damon." Johanna tells him, sharply.

He tilts his head slightly, as he answers, "Oh, I beg to differ since I was the one who pulled you from the water-"

"Enough." she says.

"Why'd you try to do it for, hmm?" he asks, stepping closer towards her.

"I mean…Enough with that crap about wanting to see him. If you wanted to see him, you should have found him when he was alive. So, what's the real reason? Was the guilt eating you up?" he asks, unable to stop himself from pushing her to breaking point.

"Tried to do what?" Jeremy asks.

"You didn't tell him? I thought since you two were all touchy-feely…" Damon says; an edgier ring to his voice.

"That's enough, Damon." she warns him.

He doesn't take this warning seriously. He almost smirks at it as he moves, ever so slightly, closer to her. "The guilt of abandoning him-"

And that's all that it takes. Those five words are all that it takes to cause Johanna to snap. Damon has no idea what he's talking about. He has no idea what she does and doesn't feel guilty for.

She moves towards him, quickly, and with no hesitation she places her hands on his head and twists his neck, snapping it. His body falls, crumpled, in to a pile on the floor. She looks up, finally, to meet Jeremy's gaze.

He pauses before he says, "Want to go another round?"

He's asking her if she wants to play another round of X-box, with him.

"You might actually win, this time." he teases, a smile on his face.

Johanna nod and with the tiniest smile on her lips, she answers, "You're on."

Damon wakes up, slowly, to find himself lying on the floor in the kitchen. A small groan passes his lips as he rubs at his neck. He pulls his body upwards, so that he's sitting, before he releases a small sigh. He stands from the floor and moves towards where he hears a heartbeat. He'd expected to find Jeremy in here but instead he finds Johanna, resting on the couch with a mug in her hands.

She glances up at Damon slowly, as he enters, but makes no other movements or no other sounds. Instead, she simply watches him and waits for him to snap her neck.

He steps towards her, releasing another groan.

"Headache?" she asks, finally speaking.

He continues to glare at her as he takes another step towards her.

"Yeah, this is _real_ funny." he sighs, slowly meeting her gaze.

As he notices that she is wearing all of her rings again, he suggests, "How about I take those rings of, one by one, and then I snap your neck and we'll see if you wake up?"

"Hunter's curse." she replies, coolly, as she places her mug down on to the table and slowly stands from the couch.

She moves, to step away from him, but he takes a step forward to block her path and he does so successfully.

"How do you know about the hunter's curse?" he asks, his eyes narrowed, as he looks down at her.

She avoids his question, completely, as she answers, "If you're willing to take a shot, go for it. I'd be more than happy to haunt you, and drive you insane, for an eternity."

"As enticing as that sounds, I'd rather spend an eternity alone than with you." Damon replies, sharply, his expression hardened into that of a much colder one.

She answers, quickly, "Don't kill me and we won't have that problem."

He watches her, closely, as he asks, slowly, "Why can't you die?"

Damon pauses, briefly, before he states, "It can't be your rings, it shouldn't work, you know…With you being supernatural and all…."

She hesitates, for a second, before she asks, "What do you mean my rings?"

"You know, the Gilbert Ring, the-" Damon begins. He tilts his heed, so slightly, before he asks, "You really don't know, do you?"

He sighs, lowly. "Well, like I said, let me take of those rings and then I'll snap your neck and then we'll solve the mystery." he suggests.

Johanna moves, to step away from Damon, but he moves with her and blocks her from leaving because he isn't finished with her just yet.

"You know…" he begins, still with the same cold and unreadable expression on his face. "I'm surprised that Jeremy left you here, alone with me…" he states.

"He's upstairs, showering." Johanna informs him. "Besides…" she continues. "He knows I'm more than capable." she adds.

"Against me?" he asks, a mocking laugh passing his lips. "Sure, you snapped my neck. You didn't kill me, not permanently anyway. You're not capable. You're not even close to capable. You could be, though." he says, with the tiniest smirk on his face.

She meets his gaze slowly, reluctantly, as she asks, "Why do you want to train me so badly?"

He pauses, as though he is in deep consideration about the answer, before he states, "So when I finally get the chance to kill you, it won't be over in a second. So it's a fair fight and all…"

Damon sighs loudly, the annoyance that he feels at her refusal to allow him to train her is clear in this sigh.

"I told you, I'm training Jeremy. And Elena cares about you – I'll never understand why but she does." he says.

Johanna announces, honestly, "I don't trust you."

Damon manages a slight shrug, like he couldn't' care less. "Not many people do." he admits. He casts a quick look over her before he says, "I don't like you."

She replies, coldly and sharply, "I don't care."

"That's the spirit!" he exclaims, loudly. He continues, with a much darker voice, "That's the mindset you need to be in, to be a hunter. You can't care about your kills. You can't care if they have family, or friends, because once you kill them they're dead and there is _nothing_ that you can do to bring them back."

"Is that what you think about your kills?" she asks, with an almost chilling calm to her voice.

"No." he says, sharply and with a dark and almost violent voice he continues, "I don't think anything about my kills because I don't care. I don't care because it's who I am."

She takes a step, with no caution or hesitation, towards Damon as she admits, "I can't be around you without thinking of how badly I want to press a stake through your heart."

"Now, if you could just use those thoughts and turn them into something real." he says, remaining where he stands in front of her.

"Something real?" she asks, with a quieter voice.

"I mean – stake a vampire in the heart." he answers.

She pauses as she lowers her gaze, away from him.

Finally, she says, "I don't enjoy doing it."

"Really?" he asks, disbelievingly. He questions, loudly, "It's all you think of doing but you don't enjoy it?"

"No, I don't." she replies.

"I think you're lying." he answers.

She meets his empty gaze, again, as she replies, "I don't care what you think, Damon."

Damon nods, after releasing a sigh. "Heading down the right track." he declares.

She shakes her head. "I'm not training with a vampire." she says, loudly, as she takes a step away from him.

"You won't be training with me." Damon says, after sighing loudly. "You'll be training with Jeremy and I'll be training you." he adds. He pauses, briefly, before he continues with a lower voice, "You care for him, right? I saw you two, all touchy-feely in the kitchen."

Johanna replies, quickly and honestly, "We weren't touchy-feely."

They were certainly not, as Damon put it, 'touchy-feely' in the kitchen. They were observing each others marks, that's all.

Damon asks, "You care for him, don't you?"

When he only receives silence, he states, "You do."

She shakes her head, finally speaking. "I don't." she says

Damon ignores this and while holding her unwavering gaze he says, coldly, "If you cared for him, and I mean _really_ cared for him, then wouldn't you want to protect him from, oh….I don't know….Me? A vampire? If it's just the two of us, one on one, what makes you think I won't kill him?"

"He's Elena's brother." Johanna states; still holding his gaze as she speaks.

Damon replies, "Not by blood."

"You wouldn't." she answers, loudly.

"And I bet his blood would be great." Damon retorts coldly, tauntingly, and with a much darker tone.

She pauses, considering Damon's words, before she asks, "How do I know you're not leading me in to a trap?"

He replies, simply, "You don't."

She does not pause, or hesitate, to answer, "I won't."

Damon glances down, to the rings on Johanna's fingers, and as he does he appears to take in each and every detail of each and every ring.

While still gazing down, upon her rings, Damon asks, "You're married?"

When he receives silence, he repeats, "Are you married?"

When she finally speaks her voice is much lower and much quieter. "Yes." she says.

"Well…" he begins, lifting his gaze to meet hers. He pauses, briefly, before he says, "That just….It makes this whole scenario…Oh, I don't know? More thrilling, I guess?"

A frown begins to form on her features as she asks, "How?"

"The thrill of it all…." he admits. "You know, wanting what you can't have." Damon adds.

She retorts, quickly, "I thought it would be the thrill of the hunt."

"It is." he agrees, nodding his head once. "It's a little of both but I like to switch it up, otherwise I'd become predictable and I don't want that." he answers.

She murmurs, lowly, "Says the guy who only wears black leather…"

"And it's not true." she adds.

He frowns, slightly. "What, the leather?" Damon asks.

"No." she answers. "Wanting what you can't have." she says. "It's not true."

Damon disagrees. "I think it is." he says.

She disagrees, with Damon. "It isn't." she says.

Damon rolls his eyes, slightly, as he asks, "Oh, yeah, and how do you know that?"

"I can't have you and I don't want you." she replies, sharply and honestly.

A small frown plays on Damon's face, as he asks, "And what makes you think you can't have me?"

"Because I don't want you." she answers.

She can't have Damon because she doesn't want him and she could never want him.

As Damon takes a slight step away from Johanna, while holding her gaze, he says, loudly, "Vampires just _love_ the thrill of the hunt, the chase, so think about that, and how you rejected the offer of training, next time you step outside."

Jeremy comes downstairs from his shower to find that Damon is not in the house. He finds Johanna in the kitchen, drinking from a glass of water. She looks up at Jeremy, as he enters, and smiles.

"Damon's gone?" he asks.

She nods. "Yeah, he's gone." she answers.

Jeremy pauses before he asks, curiously, "How'd you manage that?"

She shrugs, slightly, as she replies, "He got bored, I guess."

Johanna pauses, only briefly, before she begins, "He said that he's training you…."

Jeremy nods, at this, as he takes another step towards her. "Yeah, he is." he answers.

"Why?" Johanna asks. "Why would you want to let a vampire train you to kill vampires?" she asks.

Jeremy sighs, running a hand through his hair quickly, before he answers, "My sister thinks it's a good idea, I do. I mean – he's a vampire, he's crazy, unhinged but….He's a good fighter. He's been in a lot of wars, over the past hundred years or so…He's a good fighter."

She begins, to ask, "How do you know that he won't-"

"Kill me?" Jeremy asks, cutting in.

She nods, slightly.

"One reason…." he sighs. "I know he wouldn't risk it because he doesn't want the curse." Jeremy admits.

He pauses before he says, "The second reason, Elena. He wouldn't do that to her."

Johanna meets his gaze, slowly, as she says, "He wants to train me."

The frown on Jeremy's features deepens as he asks, "Why?"

"I asked myself the same thing." she admits, carrying her empty glass towards the kitchen sink. "It just….He said Elena cares, about me. I've only had, I think, three conversations with her – I don't know…It's just…A little unbelievable, I guess." she murmurs, lowly.

Jeremy steps towards the sink as he asks, "You're not going to take him up on the offer?"

"No, I'm not." she replies.

"You know, it's probably best that you don't." Jeremy announces.

"You think?" she asks, glancing towards him.

"Yeah…" Jeremy answers, nodding once. "I'm going to see Elena, tomorrow. I'll have a word to her and I'll get Damon to lay off you." he says.

Johanna breathes a small, easy sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Jeremy. And….Thanks, for uh….Letting me stay here, on the couch…I just – I know it must be difficult for you to be reminded of him." she says, softly.

"It is, sometimes but the only way that we can keep his memory alive is by being reminded of him and talking about him." Jeremy honestly answers.

"How did….How can you see him?" she asks.

"My ring…" he admits, glancing down towards the ring on his finger.

She follows his gaze, as she asks, "Your ring?"

"It's the Gilbert Ring. It's – I've died, with it on…It must hold some sort of power to bring me back to life. But it's powerless now because I'm a hunter." Jeremy says, holding her unwavering gaze as he speaks.

She pauses before she asks, "It's powerless but you still see him?"

Jeremy sighs. "Sometimes." he admits.

"Can you see him now?" she asks, the tiniest flicker of hope shining in her eyes.

"No, I can't." Jeremy replies. "It's-It's complicated, to say the least." he adds.

"And there's no way for me to see him?" she asks.

"There's no safe way. I mean, you're a hunter…" he answers, quickly.

She frowns slightly.

"You're a hunter, yet you still see him?" she questions.

"It's because I saw him once that I can see him, sometimes. I don't- I don't understand how it works." Jeremy admits, still watching Johanna.

She begins, softly, "If you see him…If he comes to you, again…"

"You'll be the first to know." he answers, a small smile on his face.

Johanna smiles back at Jeremy.

"Thanks, Jeremy." she says, softly, as she presses her right hand against his upper arm.

"Good night."

Damon lifts his head slightly, from where he stands pouring bourbon in to glass, and pauses. He draws in a small breath of air, releases it, and sighs before he finally speaks.

"Really, Stefan?" he asks, without turning around to glance at Stefan who he knows has just entered the room. "You waited for Elena to leave before you came in?" he asks, turning slowly to face Stefan as he speaks.

Stefan nods, simply. "She wanted space from me and I'm giving it to her." he states, loudly.

Damon begins, "She said you left-"

"Because she has feelings for you." Stefan says; as he speaks he moves towards Damon. He walks until he is only a few feet away from Damon. "Don't pretend that this isn't the happiest day of your life." Stefan states, with a much colder tone.

"Oh, you forget, brother – I haven't been happy in years." Damon retorts. He pauses before he sighs, loudly. "Why are you here?" he asks.

While holding Damon's gaze, Stefan answers, honestly, "Elena and I…We may not be together but I'm not done. I'm not giving up because she's delusional and thinks that her feelings for you are-"

"Are what, Stefan? She thinks her feelings are real?" Damon asks, before he swallows a large mouthful of bourbon.

"No, brother." Stefan answers. "They aren't real. It's because of the sire bond." he says, and as he speaks he sounds as though he feels for his brother that Elena's feelings for him aren't real. "She doesn't love you, Damon." he says, quietly.

"Because she never could?" Damon counters; his expression hardens, his eyes become emptier, and his voice becomes much colder as he speaks.

"No. It's because of the sire bond that she believes she feels something for you." Stefan says, casting a quick look over Damon.

"Sire bond?" Damon sighs, loudly. "That's like-" he begins.

Stefan replies, "It's a possibility. She listens to everything that you say. She drank from the bag because _you_ said she could. Red dress, not-"

"I know, I know." Damon answers, quickly and impatiently. "Why are you here?" he asks.

Stefan says, truthfully, "I'm letting you know I'm going after the cure."

"So?" Damon asks, frowning more deeply now. "That's not new news." he states.

"With Rebekah." Stefan adds.

Those two simple words cause the frown to deepen, if even possible, on Damon's face. He pauses, confused, for a moment before he speaks again.

"You're kidding, right, Stefan?" he asks. Damon, loudly, begins, "I mean, sure, spiral out of control because Elena doesn't love you right now but Rebekah, she's-

"She wants it, and so do I. We want it for different reasons. But you and I, Damon – You don't want it at all, do you?" Stefan answers; as he speaks he manages to hold Damon's unwavering and empty gaze.

"Elena wants it." Damon says, simply.

Stefan nods, as he answers, "I know she does. That's the only reason you'll get it, for her. I want it for myself."

Damon groans, loudly, as though he's in a great deal of pain or agony. "Haven't we already had this conversation?" he asks, sighing.

"If I'm-" Stefan begins, but the words do not quite pass his lips as Damon speaks over him.

Damon swallows what remains in his glass before he says, "Yeah, yeah, you're taking it. You want to be human, you want to feel things, be weak, and run through fields of flowers with Elena. What I don't get though, is maybe, and just maybe, this is who she is meant to be. Maybe, she's meant to be a vampire."

Stefan shakes his head, adamant that he knows that Elena was never meant to be a vampire and that this is not the life that she is deserving of and was never the life she was destined for.

"She's not." Stefan states. "She never wanted this." he says.

Damon nods, once. "I never wanted it but I've embraced it, it's who I've become, and with time –"

"She'll what, Damon?" Stefan asks, moving closer towards him. "She'll kill dozens? She'll lose her humanity?" he asks. "I wanted better things for her than that, Damon, and so did you." Stefan says, simply.

"Better things?" Damon asks, scoffing, as though the notion that something as simple as a 'better' thing in this world is utterly ridiculous. "There's nothing _better_ in this world!" he exclaims, loudly, as he discards his glass carelessly to the ground.

It shatters, breaking into hundreds of tiny shards, on the floor beneath Damon's feet. He doesn't glance down at it, he doesn't notice as Stefan does, instead he takes a step towards Stefan; his chest heaving, his jaw clenched tightly together, his eyes as empty and hollow as Stefan has ever seen them.

"There are no good people in this world!" Damon says, almost growling; complete and utter disdain and disgust drip off of the word 'good' as though each person in this world is corrupted, tainted and repulsive. "There aren't bad ones, either. There are only choices that we take, and we make, and those choices define us as good or bad."  
"She is good, Damon!" Stefan shouts, back. "I know it and you know it. She wants to be good, she wants to stay good, but she's struggling."

"Oh, and I'm sure that you walking out on her, while she's struggling, will only ease said struggling." Damon replies, sarcastically and bitterly.

Stefan says, with a much lower and calmer voice, "If by being apart now, until we find the cure, is what she needs then I'll do it for her. I'll do anything for her."

"And, for me?" Damon asks; his voice hitting a dangerously calm low. "What would you do for me, brother?" he asks.

And as those words pass Damon's lips, Stefan can _almost_ hear a genuine ring to Damon's voice. It's almost though Damon genuinely needs and desires to know what it is that his brother would do for him.

"Damon…" Stefan sighs.

"Anything?" Damon asks, icily, coldly, and with no ring or tone of emotion or feeling whatsoever.

Stefan nods. He begins, softly, to speak, because he knows how difficult this all must be for his brother – knowing that he will take the cure, if he finds it, must be killing a part of Damon because they always believed that they'd spend forever together, because they could if they wanted to.

They disagree, they argue, they fight physically and with words but they are brothers, they will always be brothers, and they will always have the others back.

Damon meets Stefan's gaze, with empty and icy blue eyes, and as he does he says, coldly, "Then, stop talking about how you're going to take this goddamn cure around me and just – just get out!"

Damon steps back away from Stefan, a look extremely similar to betrayal on his face. He's struggling. Stefan doesn't want to leave him but Damon doesn't want him here. And as Stefan watches Damon, he can't help but think of how he is going backwards, instead of forwards.

Damon has come so far, from who and what he was when he first returned to Mystic Falls, but in this moment he reminds Stefan, so painfully, of the unhinged, emotionless, haunted shadow of who Damon Salvatore once was.

Underneath it all, Damon was once good. He could be good. His heart was good. He was capable of loving others, and being loved, and he was capable of feeling something. He didn't always shut off his feelings but this Damon, the Damon that Stefan has become so accustomed to, doesn't want to feel anything. He doesn't want to be good, he doesn't care if his heart is good, and he doesn't want to love or be loved because love is cruel and so Damon is cruel.

"I don't want to be around you right now." Damon says, _almost_ growling. He adds, with a much darker and more sinister voice, "I might do something I regret."

And if only Stefan knew, as he walked away from his brother, that Damon would, before the morning sun rose in the sky, do something that he would, in time, end up regretting.

Johanna wakes, quickly, from an uneasy and uncomfortable sleep. She finds the sheets which had once covered her body have been tossed to the floor, and she vaguely remembers doing such a thing. She draws in a cool breath of air as her eyes flicker, briefly, over the room and towards the window. She finds that it's still dark outside and a few stars can still be seen, fading, in the sky.

She slowly swings her legs towards the side of the bed and places her feet down on to the floor. She lowers her head in to her hand before she runs her hands up over her face, through her hair, and down to her neck.

Her body stiffens up, freezes, as she hears what sounds like the front door – she glances towards the clock, on the table beside the bed, and finds that it's one o'clock. She frowns before she stands from the bed. She steps quietly, and with the slightest amount of caution, through the door to her room which is opened. She presses her lips together as she comes to stand at the top of the staircase. She glances towards Matt's room, and finds the door is closed, and then she looks towards Jeremy's room and his door is also closed.

"Hello?" she calls out, as she moves down the stairs.

She takes the stairs one at a time, almost wishing that her gun was in her hand instead of in her bag upstairs. She stops, on one of the last stairs, as her eyes come across the front door of the house. The front door is wide open but this isn't what catches her attention; the blood smearing the front door, and pooling on the ground at the front door, is what causes her to freeze.

She pauses, but only briefly, before she steps over the pool of blood. She turns to her right, passing the couch, and as she does she finds that the trail of blood leads towards the kitchen and still she moves towards it because she doesn't know who it is and if they're injured and in need of help.

Her breaths become heavier, sharper, as she nears the kitchen but she doesn't hesitate to enter it. And here, in the kitchen, she finds him; Matt, slumped on the ground, half against the wall, bleeding heavily but from where exactly she isn't able to determine as he seems to be covered in blood.

Johanna drops to Matt's side, quickly, ignorant to the pool of blood which she kneels in and so becomes, quickly, covered in. She taps Matt's cheek, with her left hand, as she checks for a pulse with her right. She finds one but it's weak and it could be fading. Her hands, trembling slightly, rest against his cheek as she watches his eyes flicker like he might open them.

"Matt, Matt, come on." she says, begging, as she tries to wake him.

Her voice is strained, and shaky, but it is still loud as she yells out, "Help! I need- I need help."

"Jeremy?" she calls out, much louder and sounding much shakier. "Jeremy, I need you." she pleads.

She begins to search for the wound, which is causing his blood loss, and she finds it almost as soon as she'd started searching; there is a gash, on his neck, and she knows immediately who did it. She reaches back on the bench, for a cloth, staining the counter with the blood that covers her hands

"Johanna?" Jeremy calls back.

She can hear him moving slowly down the stairs, and as he begins to speed up she can almost picture him seeing the blood for the first time. She remains silent, but very far from still, as she presses the cloth against the wound on Matt's neck.

He mumbles incoherent words, that she doesn't quite catch, but his eyes open slowly and weakly but he doesn't glance at her. Instead, Matt stares out, blankly, as his eyes remain blurry and he finds himself longing to drift off.

Jeremy enters the kitchen, quickly; his chest heaving and a deeply worried expression on his pale features. He finds Johanna kneeling in a pool of blood, in front of an extremely pale and bloodied Matt, and he knows as he sees this sight that he will never be able to forget such a sight as this; his best-friend, so badly injured, who could die from this much blood loss.

"What-What happened?" Jeremy asks; he sounds panicked, frightened, as he is down by Johanna's side in seconds.

She shakes her head, quickly.

"I don't, I don't know. I'm keeping pressure on the wound. You need to call someone, Jeremy." she says; she only manages to stay somewhat calm in this situation because he is so far from calm.

Jeremy nods, drawing in shaky breaths of air, but he doesn't move away because he can't move away, from Matt, he can't leave him like this.

"Jeremy," Johanna begins, turning only briefly to look at him because she doesn't want to take her gaze off of Matt for too long. "I've got this. Call someone, we need help." she says.

Jeremy pulls away slowly, reluctantly, and moves towards the phone. He's dazed, and slow, and as he picks up the phone his hands shake slightly. He calls Elena first because she's his sister, because he needs her, because she'll know what to do and she can call Meredith to come over. He calls her over because she's a vampire, and Matt needs a vampire's blood.

"Elena, it's Matt. He-He's not good. He's bleeding, Elena. I need you over here, and Meredith." Jeremy stutters, quickly, stepping back towards Matt.

"Matt? Matt, can you hear me?" Johanna repeats, still with a panicked voice, as she keeps the pressure on the wound on his neck.

Slowly, he lifts his eyes up towards where he hears the voice coming from and he finds Johanna, watching him closely and carefully.

"Matt." she repeats, as his eyes meet hers.

He begins to speak but finds his throat is dry and his voice is too weak.

"It's okay." she assures him. "You don't have to – it's okay." she says, reassuring him that he doesn't have to speak if he can't. "Jeremy's here." she says, as Jeremy kneels down by her side and in front of Matt.

A small groan passes his lips as he briefly closes his eyes. Johanna leaves her right hand on his neck, keeping pressure on the wound, and she takes Matt's left hand with her own and holds it.

"You want to close your eyes? Sure. But, you keep holding on. You got it?" Johanna says. "You keep squeezing my hand, so I know you're okay." she says.

Matt gives no acknowledgment, no verbal response, that he heard her – but then, a few seconds pass and his grip on her hand tightens and he squeezes it.

"Elena and Meredith are on their way." Jeremy informs Johanna.

She nods. "I need you to get me some towels, Jeremy." she says, her eyes flickering towards him.

He stands, quickly, and rushes towards the closet where he pulls out two towels. She pulls away the now soaked cloth, from Matt's neck, and presses the thick, clean towel to his neck to stop the blood.

"They'll be here any minute." Jeremy states. "You're okay, Matt, just hang on." he pleads; because he can't lose Matt, he can't lose his best-friend, because they've already lost so many people.

**x**

* * *

**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading my story...Enjoy!**


	11. The point of no return

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_Oh, come on, I couldn't have hurt you that bad._

Elena reaches the Gilbert House as quickly as she can, accompanied by Stefan who she'd called after Damon had failed to answer his phone. He'd been missing from the house, she couldn't get a hold of him, and so she had turned to Stefan - and he'd answered instantly, despite everything that they were going through. Stefan passes Elena in the hallway and moves into the kitchen first, his eyes skimming over those in the room. He kneels down beside Johanna and Matt.

"What-What happened to him?" Elena questions, the panic rising in her voice.

They don't have the answer to that, so no one answers.

Stefan casts an obvious look over Johanna, who continues to press the cloth against Matt's neck. Stefan knows that a vampire did this to him, and from the look in her eyes she knows it too. Her expression is pale, and her face is devoid of any emotion or feeling.

She turns to Stefan and nods. "I know."

That's all that she says, but he knows what she means. Johanna knows that he is a vampire, knows that a vampire did this to Matt, and that Stefan has to feed Matt his blood or he's going to die.

Dark veins spread underneath Stefan's eyes and move over his face. His fangs appear as he bites into the skin of his wrist, tearing it so that it will bleed freely. He presses his wrist gently against Matt's pale lips. At first he's hesitant and weak, he doesn't answer and he doesn't understand what he must do. But when he tastes the blood on his lips, he realises what he has to do, and slowly he begins to swallow the blood which now flows easily into his mouth.

Moments later Meredith arrives, she instructs that Stefan carry Matt upstairs and he does. She needs to care for him properly and she can't do that down here. Jeremy and Elena follow the group upstairs, leaving Johanna behind. But she wants to be left behind, she doesn't want to go up there and look over Matt's bloodied body. She can't look at another person that she cared about who almost died. She can't deny that she doesn't care about Matt because she does. Somewhere down the line she let herself care for him. That was her first mistake because this happened as a result of their friendship.

Johanna kneels in the blood for a moment before she pulls herself from the ground and begins to search for a thick sponge and bucket. She returns minutes later and can almost picture Matt lying against the wall, with his pale eyes and bloody skin. He was empty, almost out of life. She angrily wipes the blood from the floor.

There are sounds coming from upstairs. Footsteps. Doors opening and closing. Voices.

But Johanna doesn't venture upstairs, instead she remains out here with the red reminder of what almost happened.

The minutes pass her by quickly as she finishes cleaning the blood from the floor. It is a tiring task that she is so familiar with doing. She retraces his steps down the hallway and uses a fresh cloth to wipe away the blood. She starts with the pool of blood that had formed by the front door. Next, she wipes away the bloody handprints and stains that are scattered through the hallway. He had gripped onto the walls for support. He tried to make it to the stairs, but had moved into the kitchen.

She exhales heavily and continues to wipe the blood away.

Once Johanna has finished cleaning inside the house, she finds a scrubbing brush and carries a fresh bucket of water outside to the porch.

The sky is lighter outside than when she rose, the morning sun has begun to rise and the blood is clearer for her to see. A blood trail runs up the stairs, scattered across the porch. She cleans the blood from the porch first, scrubbing it harshly and roughly until all of the stains are gone. Then she moves to the set of stairs, and finds that the blood doesn't wipe away easily from here.

She scrubs harsher, faster, using everything she has but it doesn't wash away entirely.

Johanna sighs loudly with frustration but keeps scrubbing.

The sound of nearing footsteps causes her to spin around defensively, and she finds the man she recognises as Klaus standing before her. He eyes her off carefully before speaking quietly.

"You're better off painting that, love." he remarks.

His expression is hardened, and his eyes are filled with something similar to pain.

Klaus' eyes drop down towards the blood that stains her body.

He almost smiles. "Blood stains."

She stiffens up, standing slowly.

"Teenage dramas have really stepped up a notch in this decade, haven't they?" he inches closer.

"What are you doing here?" she asks warily.

Klaus sighs. "Take a stroll in the early morning. The sun is quite captivating at this hour, isn't it? I was passing by the Gilbert House, when I couldn't help but overhear all of the commotion inside. I walked over, and what was I to see...You scrubbing desperately at blood stained stairs."

She holds his gaze. "Did you do this?"

"The blood doesn't disappear entirely. You can only cover it up." he replies.

"Did you do this?" she repeats firmly.

"Did I do what?" his smile falters.

"Did you hurt him?" she asks, attempting to remain impassive and unreadable.

But Klaus sees right through it. He sees a knowledge in her eyes that she did not previously hold, and he quickly reaches the conclusion that she knows about the vampire population in this town.

"Ah." he exhales. "So, that cat's out of the bag?"

A smile plays on his lips. "I didn't hurt Matt Donovan..."

He moves to take a step away, pausing as he glances back at her. "Don't forget the blood on the truck."

With that, Klaus walks away and leaves her to wipe the blood away.

Johanna spends more time scrubbing the steps, but soon decides to leave it and move towards Matt's truck before anyone passing by might spot it. It only takes a few minutes to wipe away the blood splatter on the outside of his truck. From what she has gathered, about the blood droplets staining the grass outside of the truck, he had just gotten out of his car when it happened. He stumbled inside, and decided that he couldn't make it up the staircase, so moved to the kitchen for help.

She breathes out heavily and returns inside, opening the door to find Stefan coming down the staircase. He watches her closely as he moves down the stairs, his eyes lingering on the bucket in her hand. She steps inside and shuts the door behind her.

Stefan smiles as he steps down off the last step. "Matt's going to be fine. He's healed quickly."

"That's good." she nods.

He casts his eyes over her slowly, finding that her hands, legs and arms are stained with Matt's blood.

"That's great." Johanna adds quietly. "I, er...I cleaned up all of the blood."

Her eyes fall to the floor which should be clean, the blood should be gone, but instead she finds that patches of blood still stain it. Bloodied footprints. Smears of red. She doesn't understand at first, until her eyes fall to her legs and she sees that she is covered to the knee with sticky blood. It's almost reaching her thighs. Her hands are covered with his blood too, and she didn't even know it.

"I don't understand..." she murmurs, a frown sweeping over her face.

Stefan meets her gaze and smiles kindly. "Let me take this.."

He takes the bucket from her hand, and the sponge, smiling still. "Why don't I help you?"

Johanna hesitates before she swallows tightly and nods, pressing her lips together quickly. Stefan guides her down towards the kitchen, where he retrieves two clean sponges. Without telling her he's doing so, he kneels down and wipes the blood away from her feet. He does this quickly, just so she won't leave any more footprints, before he suggests that they wipe away the rest of the blood.

They make their way silently down the hallway, kneeling down to the ground. Seconds later the front door opens. Stefan is up on his feet and in front of the door seconds later. Johanna stands quickly, taking only a few steps closer.

Damon steps through the door, meeting Stefan's gaze first. His face is unreadable, a complex mask of hidden emotions. Nothing slips through or escapes.

"Where have you been?" Stefan immediately asks.

Damon's eyes, which are icy but empty, flicker carelessly over Johanna. She's smeared with blood. He finds that she seems weaker, but her eyes are darker, stronger than they were before.

Stefan follows Damon's gaze.

"Johanna," Stefan says softly. "Why don't you go upstairs and have a shower?"

For a moment she remains still, her eyes settled on Damon. She doesn't move, so Stefan does. He believes that she will quickly come to the conclusion that Damon is to blame, so she will lunge at him, try to hurt him, but Damon will end up hurting her and he doesn't want that.

Stefan shoves Damon outside harshly, shutting the door behind him as he does.

Johanna is left alone in the hallway with a bucket filled with someone else's blood.

"What the hell?!" Damon shouts.

Stefan turns to his brother with such anger in his eyes.

"Tell me you didn't do this, Damon." he almost pleads.

Stefan pleads with Damon to tell him he isn't the monster he once was. But he knows the truth, that the monster will always be a part of Damon and there isn't anything that can be done to remove it entirely. He can ignore it if he wants to be better, but lately he hasn't wanted to be better.

"I didn't do it." Damon answers coldly and unconvincingly.

A flicker of guilt darts over Damon's face, and Stefan catches it - so he snaps. Stefan snaps because he'd wanted to believe that Damon was better than this.

He grabs Damon harshly by the neck and slams him violently into the door.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Stefan shouts. "He did nothing to you! And you almost killed him."

"I didn't do it." Damon almost growls.

"What did you do?" Stefan replies.

Damon gives him silence, and this causes Stefan to shove Damon harder into the wall.

But he still doesn't budge.

"What did you do?" Stefan angrily repeats, his voice is much louder now.

Damon carelessly shoves Stefan to the side, causing him to momentarily fall and stumble backwards. Seconds later Stefan is back up on his feet and standing in front of him.

"_What _did you do?"

A cold moment of silence passes between the brothers, and in this moment Stefan realizes what the guilt is for and what Damon's role now. He understands now why Damon's eyes had been drawn immediately towards Johanna - because it should have been her.

Stefan grabs him by the throat and slams him back into the wall.

"You know, I'm getting real tired of you thinking you're stronger than me-" Damon begins.

"You turned someone, didn't you?" Stefan asks, anger dripping from his words. "And you sent them after Matt to get to Johanna?!"

"No." Damon replies sharply.

Then it sets in.

"You sent a vampire after Johanna?" Stefan asks.

"Not to kill her." he shrugs, pushing Stefan off of him.

"Why-" Stefan starts, unable to understand. "I thought-I thought..."

"Thought what, Stefan?" Damon asks.

"That I was better than this? Well, you're wrong and I'm not. The vampire wasn't compelled, that's why it attacked Matt and not Johanna." he admits after a slight pause.

"Matt almost died." Stefan quietly says.

"Yeah, well, like you just said 'almost' died. He's not dead." Damon takes a step away. "Who knows, it might push your dear hunter over the edge. Who knows what she might do next - she might kill me, and at least you and Elena would be a step closer to finding the cure right? And I'd be out of the picture, just like you wanted."

"You know that's not true-"

"Yeah, you might want to try a little bit harder to convince yourself of that, brother."

* * *

Several minutes pass her as she stands before the mirror, her eyes staring at her reflection; a ghost, an unrecognisable shadow, a person she doesn't know. She's covered in so much blood. It's soaked into her skin, and has become a part of herself that she can't really forget.

First, Johanna removes the rings from her body. She takes them off slowly, finding that they are also covered with blood. She piles them together on a corner of the bench top, beside the sink, and removes the silver anklet from her left ankle. She unlocks it and places it down. Johanna turns away from the mirror and moves towards the shower, which she had been directed to by Elena, who had also turned the water on for her and left a clean towel out for her.

Johanna removes the articles of clothing from her body before folding them and placing them into the pile in the corner of the room. She takes slow steps towards the shower, appreciating the feeling of the cool tiles beneath her feet. The glass door of the shower closes shut behind her once she has entered, and she shuts her eyes for a moment before drawing in a long and shaky breath of air.

The water engulfs her entirely. It is warm, and soothing, and brushes and falls down over her body. The blood that had covered her skin as hardened, and only washes away partially. She reaches for a scrubbing brush and lowers herself down onto the tiles of the shower. She sits down and scrubs at her hands first, until the skin is raw and free of blood. Next, she moves to her wrists and elbows. After washing it away she wipes at her legs, until all of the blood has been washed and scrubbed away.

She stands slowly and steps underneath the water, allowing the warm water to overcome her. She washer her hair, before simply standing beneath the water and letting it consume her for a moment. Finally, she turns off the water and steps out of the shower. Her hands cling to the towel and she wraps it around her body. After stepping towards the door she pauses, hearing footsteps on the other side. Instantly she opens it, finding Elena standing before her with a pile of clothes in her hands.

Elena smiles. "Feel any better?"

"I feel fine." she nods.

"Good," Elena replies, pausing slightly as her eyes drop to the pile of clothes. "I didn't...Your clothes.."

"They're mostly dirty." Johanna answers.

She pauses before nodding. "I just put them in the washer, I hope you don't mind. These are just..They're mine."

"You didn't have to do that." Johanna crosses her arms.

"It's nothing, really." Elena sets the pile down on the bed. "So, these are here. And whenever you're ready, I'll be downstairs with a tea or coffee. Whatever you choose."

Silence follows as Elena moves towards the door. Johanna quickly breaks it.

"How's Matt?"

"He's good." Elena turns back, a bigger smile on her face. "He's going to be fine, thanks to you."

"Good." she nods once.

"Johanna, thank you-"

"Thanks for the clothes, Elena." she quickly cuts over her.

Johanna doesn't need or want to be thanked for this.

Elena nods, her smile remains. "It's okay. I'll just...I'll be downstairs."

"Okay."

After changing into her clothes Johanna had planned on going downstairs. She'd wanted a tea, or something warm to drink, but after dressing she had taken a seat on the edge of her bed and shut her eyes briefly. She was tired from the night they'd have, and the uncomfortable sleep she'd had, which was filled with memories, left her feeling worse.

She wanted to escape the memories, and the blood, so she curled up on the bed and in moments she fell to sleep easily.

* * *

Daylight sweeps into the room as Johanna wakes. She wakes slowly, disoriented at first, soon finding that a blanket has been draped over her body and tucked in. She frowns, not remembering falling asleep like this. Her eyes skim over the room, and are soon drawn towards the open window. She stands from the bed and shuts it, stopping the cool draft from returning to the room.

A moment of hesitation passes before she returns to the bathroom. She finds her belongings rest untouched and bloodied in the corner of the room. Johanna searches until she finds a small cloth, she dampens it and cleans the blood from her rings and other belongings. She does this quickly, because it is easier to wipe the blood away from silver than it is from skin.

After leaving the rings to dry, she turns around and finds Jeremy standing in the doorway.

He smiles. "Hey."

"Hey." she answers softly.

"How are you feeling?" he crosses his arms, observing her silently.

"I'm fine. How's Matt doing?"

"He's awake, and eating. He's enjoying the rest, and the whole being waited on thing..." Jeremy almost laughs.

She smiles. "Good."

Jeremy shifts slightly. "Uh, Johanna...I was, er..I was wrong about you and I'm sorry. You saved his life, he's my best-friend and you saved him. I just..Thank you."

He takes a slow and clearly hesitant step towards her, stopping briefly like he's considering his next actions, before he moves closer and embraces her. The embrace is unexpected, but she still sets her hands down against his back.

"Thank you." he whispers in her ear, wrapping his arms around her.

"It's okay, Jeremy." her voice is quieter. "He's okay."

For a moment they stay this way, until Jeremy pulls away. He continues to smile at her, taking the bloodied cloth from her hands as he does.

"I'll clean this up." he gestures to the pile of clothes. "Matt wants to see you."

Johanna nods and draws in a cool breath of air. She walks down towards Matt's room, the room next to Jeremy's, and pauses as she reaches the door handle. It's only a momentary pause, because soon enough she's turned the handle and stepped inside the room.

Her eyes fall upon Matt immediately. He's propped up against several thick pillows, with a big, warm blanket covering his body. He looks significantly better, like nothing was every wrong with him. The life has returned to his eyes, and he isn't as frighteningly pale as he once was.

Matt looks up at her the second she enters, a small smile already on her lips.

"Hey." he says.

Matt begins to move, to try to sit up, but she quickly steps towards him with her hands raised slightly in the air.

"It's okay, just stay where you are." she instructs.

He smiles. "It's okay, I'm good."

Silence fills the room.

"Er..." Johanna quietly begins. "Jeremy said you wanted to see me...?"

She takes slow steps towards the bed, and once she had reached it she lowers herself down on the edge of it.

"Yeah, I did. I do. I just..." he pauses.

"If you need to rest, I can go."

"I don't, I'm fine. Really." Matt smiles. "I'm enjoying the waiting on, and everything."

She watches as his grin widens, and it brings an immediate smile to her face.

"Jeremy said you would be."

Matt draws in a tight breath of air as he watches her.

"Matt..."

"Thank you," he says softly, his hand falling down to hers.

Slowly, he lowers his hand down over hers and clutches it. He rests it down hesitantly on her hand, almost expecting her to withdraw her hand away at any second. But she doesn't.

"You saved my life. Thank you."

She nods quickly, a brief flicker of emotion darting and disappearing in seconds.

"I'm sorry..." her gaze drops to his hand. "For dragging you into this, and I did- even though I didn't want to."

Confusion sweeps over his face. "What? This wasn't your fault. It's not your fault, Johanna."

She believes otherwise, but she doesn't want to argue with him, so she just smiles. He can see right through it.

"I'm glad you're okay. And, when you're up for it...How about a re-match?"

Matt grins goofily. "Sure. I was going easy on you before. This time, I'm gonna win."

She shakes her head, the smile still resting on her lips. "Try to get some rest. Okay?"

He nods. "Okay?"

"Okay." Matt agrees.

Johanna pulls her hand away from his slowly, like she is reluctant to leave, but he needs to rest and she has to leave him to rest for now. She turns back to him when she reaches the doorway, and their eyes meet again. She feels a deeper bond between them. There's more trust here. She knows now that she has done exactly what she vowed to herself she wouldn't let herself do; she's cared for someone else. There's trust here, and she didn't think she was capable of giving anyone her trust again.

* * *

It was almost like she knew he'd be here, that he'd want to find her here to, that this was all his doing.

Johanna hadn't wanted to find him here by Alaric's grave, but as she neared it he came into sight and she couldn't walk away. She had to deal with it.

"Okay." she announces, stepping towards him.

Damon rests on a seat in front of Alaric's grave. He glances up, a frown already on his features, his eyes settling on her.

"That's incredibly vague." his annoyance is as clear as his eyes.

"Okay...I'll train with you."

He looks up at her now. His expression doesn't shift or falter, instead his eyes flicker over her. He swallows from the bottle in his hands before he speaks.

"And why would you do that?" Damon questions.

Damon quickly takes note of the change in her expression, and he speaks.

"Okay, okay, don't stake me." he sighs and stands. "I just mean...Why the sudden change of mind?"

"You almost killed Matt." she steps closer.

"Well...Technically.." he says slowly. "I didn't. It wasn't meant-"

"For him?"

Damon nods. "Mhm."

Johanna pauses, drawing in a slight breath of air, before she states, "I'll train with you if you keep Matt out of it."

Damon replies, quickly, "Well, that's going to be difficult, since I'm training Jeremy I've been roped in to training Matt too. This was earlier. Apparently, I'm designated babysitter-and-trainer-to-teenagers-wanting-to-kil l-vampires."

"Keep him out of it." she says, sharply.

"You mean-" Damon begins.

"Keep your fangs out of him." she says.

Damon pauses, as though he is taking her words into deep consideration.

"He's not my type." he counters, with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"Damon, you know what I mean." Johanna counters.

"Fine." Damon sighs. "But since we're making this little deal-" he adds.

Johanna, intentionally, cuts Damon off as she says, "You don't have a say, in this deal."

"Excuse me?" he asks; he sounds much colder, now, and much more annoyed at her, as he speaks.

"I said you don't have a say." she repeats. "You almost killed Matt. You killed me once before and almost tried for a second time." she begins.

Damon replies, angrily, loudly, and almost viciously, "I don't know if you've forgotten, Johanna, but I saved your life too. Remember that little incident with the pool? If I hadn't come-"

"You don't have a say." Johanna says, loudly.

He hesitates before he asks, "Is that so?"

"It's training, that's all." she states. "And if you lay a finger on Matt…."

He rolls his eyes, slightly. "I know. You'll release the wrath of the hunter and so on…." he mutters.

"Do we have a deal, Damon?" she asks.

"Fine…" he answers finally. "We have a deal."

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) here's a new chapter, I hope you enjoy reading it and thank you for reading & reviewing my story.**

**x**


	12. Taken to the wild

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made**

* * *

_I haven't lived at all._

Johanna stands silently in the bathroom for several minutes as her eyes remain settled upon the pile of rings. The blood is gone, the stains of crimson have been washed away, but a part of her believes the blood will be there. She pauses before sliding the rings back on her fingers, and once she has finished she turns away from the mirror and steps towards the bedroom.

Jeremy rests on the end of the bed looking the picture of exhaustion, like he hasn't slept at all, but still he manages a smile after she takes notice of his sudden appearance. But still, even with the smile, she can see the grim expression he wears on his face and she knows why that is.

She crosses her arms. "You heard, then?"

He nods before abruptly standing from the bed. "You don't have to do this, Johanna. You don't have to train with Damon, you don't owe him anything.

Johanna pauses for a brief second. "I know that."

"Have you trained before?" he questions curiously, taking notice of the way she stiffens up.

"Briefly." she nods.

"With who?" he asks, before a thought clicks.

She might have trained with Alaric.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

Johanna pauses. "I haven't had trainer as a hunter, if that's what you're asking. The training I had was...Before the mark, it wasn't official, it wasn't serious."

Jeremy swallows tightly, nodding as he does. "Okay."

"When do we start?"

"The weekend." he replies.

"One day." she sighs, pausing briefly. "And you're okay with a vampire training you?"

"Yeah," Jeremy shrugs carelessly. "I mean, I guess. He has experience."

She takes this in. "Where's the training happening."

"A lake-house. It's isolated." he begins, suddenly being cut off by a voice coming from downstairs.

"Hello?" Tyler calls out.

"I'll be right back." Jeremy says quickly.

He steps outside and moves towards the staircase to greet Tyler.

Johanna doesn't move, instead she begins to tidy the small pile of clothes she had left at the end of Elena's bed. She knows she's been in here too long, and the couch is a much better place to sleep. The bed is comfy and easier to sleep on, but every night she sleeps in it she can almost picture Alaric standing in the doorway wishing her goodnight like he used to do when they lived together.

A sudden voice from behind her causes Johanna to spin around, from where she had stood fixing the pillows on the bed.

"Uh..Hey?"

She comes to face a tall, dark haired man with a sharp, rigged draw. He's dressed in a dark blue shirt and black jeans.

He smiles kindly. "You're Johanna, right?"

A frown knits into her forehead. "Uh, yeah...And, I'm sorry...I don't know who-"

"I'm sorry, I'm Tyler." he steps closer, the smile resting on his face.

"A friend of Matt and Jeremy's?" she assumes.

He nods, moving towards her until he's close enough to extend his hand to her.

"It's great to meet you." Tyler says.

"Is it?" she pauses, before shaking his hand.

He nods once. "Yeah, it is."

"Well, it's nice to meet you too, Tyler." she half smiles.

"Tyler?" another voice echoes from the hallway.

A light haired girl enters next, a slight frown on her face. "Where's Matt-"

"I was just saying hi to Johanna." Tyler glances between the two. "Caroline, this is Johanna."

Caroline skims her eyes over Johanna. "So, you're Johanna?"

"Yes." she nods.

"Thanks, for what you did for Matt." Caroline says quietly.

Silence falls between them, as Johanna shoves her hands into the pocket of her jacket. She glances up and exhales deeply.

"Well, I've got to go." Johanna finally announces, reaching for her handbag. "It was nice to meet you both."

"It was great to meet you too." Tyler smiles.

Caroline nods. "It was."

After nodding briefly at them, she steps out into the hallway and immediately comes across Jeremy and Matt, who is standing for the first time since his attack. She stops briefly and turns to them, a smile on her face at the simple sight of Matt up and moving again.

"You look good, Mat." she comments.

"Where are you going to?" he replies, half smiling.

"I've got this thing I have to do. Besides, they're your friends. Enjoy your time with them." Johanna responds quickly.

"You sure you don't want to say?" Jeremy asks.

She nods. "See you later."

Without another word, Johanna turns away and moves down the staircase which she still occasionally catches flashes and fragments of blood on. The real blood was wiped away, so it's permanently gone, but the memory of it lingers.

* * *

A surprisingly familiar voice from behind Johanna causes her to turn around.

"I must say, I was surprised to hear from you." Rebekah states.

Johanna casts a quick look over Rebekah, whose hair is neat and straight as always, and smiles. She's dressed in a pair of black pants, a nice, white lace blouse and white high heels. Rebekah smiles at her as she slides on to the bar-stool next to Johanna.

"So, why'd you ask me here, Johanna?" Rebekah tilts her head sideways.

There's almost a hint of suspicion in her eyes, like she is almost unable to believe that she was asked here just to have a drink.

"We have a truce." she sighs. "You know that, Rebekah."

Silence passes and fills the air between the two of them, and in this silence she believes that Rebekah is most likely thinking over the various reasons or possibilities about why she was called here. Despite that Johanna is currently fighting the urge to break the leg off of the stool, and stake Rebekah in the heart, she remains seated because she won't break their truce.

"I know." Rebekah sighs. "So, what's your real reason?"

Johanna shrugs. "Didn't want to drink alone."

"And what, you thought I'd want to be your drinking buddy?" Rebekah's eyes narrow in on her.

"If you don't want to be here, Rebekah-"

"Then you were right." Rebekah smiles. "I'd be more than happy to drink with you, and to be your drinking buddy."

After ordering a bottle of whiskey, Rebekah and Johanna take a seat at one of the small tables in the middle of the room. The Grill is quieter and emptier than it has been during the past times that Johanna has been here, and for that much she is thankful. The silence is soft and soothing, compared to the pounding, incessant headache that is Damon Salvatore.

"So, what are we drinking to?" Rebekah fills two glasses with whiskey.

Johanna pauses, like she's deeply considering this for a moment. "To...Not needing a reason to drink."

She shrugs. "Good enough for me."

They clink their glasses together before Johanna downs the entire glass in one mouthful, breathing out heavily after.

"Looks like you really needed that drink." Rebekah remarks. "Spill it."

She swallows her mouthful, before pouring both of them another drink.

"What, is little Elena Gilbert rubbing you the wrong way?" Rebekah cocks her head sideways. "She can do that. Well, probably not to everyone, because they all love Elena. Precious little Elena."

"Um..." Johanna starts quietly, a frown creeping on her forehead.

She silently wonders why Rebekah seems to harbor such animosity towards Elena.

"Not quite. You don't...Know?"

"Know what?" Rebekah sighs.

"About Matt."

Johanna observes silently as Rebekah freezes obviously. She places the bottle down slowly, and eventually meets Johanna's heavy gaze. She tries to remain causal, like she doesn't care, but there's an obvious flicker of concern in her cold eyes.

"What about Matt?" she asks casually.

"He was attacked, by a vampire. He's fine now. I just- I found him, and I needed a drink."

"What, did Elena bite into him again?" Rebekah sighs, sounding tired.

And then she watches as Johanna's expression shifts entirely, into something completely unreadable.

"Oh..." Rebekah understands. "You didn't know Elena Gilbert was a vampire, even though you're living with her?"

Johanna shakes her head. "I don't live with her, just Jeremy and Matt. And I'm just...Staying..."

"So, Elena's at the Salvatore household then?" Rebekah almost smiles. "I suppose it's the sire bond."

If possible, Johanna's frown deepens more and confusion lurks in her eyes.

"Seriously? Rebekah sighs loudly. "You don't know about the sire bond? What do you know?"

"I don't like to involve myself in other people's lives." she responds quietly, before finishing off her glass.

"Okay, well, let me cut it short for you then, Jo. Elena Gilbert is a vampire sired to Damon. That's it."

Johanna pulls backwards and attempts to reach for her bag like she might stand, but Rebekah quickly catches her wrist and speaks.

"Where are you going?! she asks quickly.

"I-" Johanna begins.

"No." Rebekah says sternly. "Whatever it is, and wherever you're going, the answer is no. We're drinking - you can't bail."

She pauses as her eyes skim over Johanna, whose eyes are much darker than they were seconds earlier.

"What was the plan, Johanna?" she asks quietly. "Confront Elena about being a vampire, and then get your neck snapped by Damon Salvatore? Because he'd do anything for her. Terrific plan. I mean, if that sounds more appealing to you than drinking - go for it."

Her expression shifts obviously, and more silence fills the air between them.

"Did you really think I didn't notice your frequent looks at my chest, trying to figure out where the best spot to place the dagger might be? I know, we have a truce and you wouldn't break it but I know hunters. I knew one a long time ago. Your desire to kil vampires is almost uncontrollable, isn't it?"

"I've learnt to control parts of it." Johanna sits back down.

Curiosity fills Rebekah's eyes. "Who taught you."

"I taught myself."

Rebekah pauses. "I doubt that."

"Why's that?"

"Hunters don't normally teach themselves how not to kill vampires." she swallows her glass.

Johanna sighs, and fills up her glass. "I suppose I'm the exception."

"Or am I?"

She frowns. "What?"

Vulnerability slips into Rebekah's voice. "I've never known a hunter to genuinely be interested in pursuing a friendship with a vampire..And that's what this is, isn't it?"

Johanna meets Rebekah's gaze slowly. "I'm not sure. It might be."

"We have a truce." Rebekah repeats.

"Yes, we do, but I have experience."

"With what?"

"Deal breakers..." Johanna sighs, scratching at the side of her neck. "Truce breakers..."

"Well, luckily for you, I have no intention of breaking our truce." Rebekah declares, a smile returning to her face.

Johanna almost smiles. "Luckily for you, I haven't quite learn how to kill an Original Vampire."

"What gave it away?" Rebekah looks impressed.

"Hunter's intuition." she shrugs.

"Very good, and based on my intuition...I'd say you're more skilled than you're letting on." Rebekah leans in a little closer. "I could be wrong, though."

She shakes her head. "You're wrong."

Rebekah's smile remains. "I'm usually not."

"That makes two of us." Johanna smiles genuinely.

Rebekah raises her full glass. "Here's to...Tonight?"

She pauses. "Or...Here's to living?"

Rebekah draws in long breath of air. "To living."

Silently, Rebekah believes that the reason she finds Johanna's company so bearable, so comfortable, is because she sees something in her that she recognises. She sees a loneliness in Johanna that she connects with, an emptiness which she feels so frequently. Above all, Rebekah connects with the same feeling that rests inside Johanna's darkened eyes; the feeling of never having really lived a day in her life.

* * *

Damon enters the Gilbert House around midday, so he could pick up Jeremy and drive him down towards the lake-house. As he enters he finds Bonnie in the kitchen, in deep conversation with Jeremy and Matt. He releases a loud sigh as his eyes settle down on her.

"Great. My psychic abilities as a witch tell me you're coming." Damon crosses his arms.

Bonnie glances towards him quickly, a deep frown already resting on her forehead. "Yeah, I am."

Jeremy sighs. "She wants to."

His eyes flicker towards Bonnie slowly.

Sarcasm rings off his voice. "Look, Bonnie...As great as I believe it would be to have you there, I don't need or want you there."

"I don't-" Bonnie begins.

"And these two," Damon loudly continues. "They don't need you there either. I mean this exactly as it sounds: you're just going to get in the way."

She crosses her arms, and glances back to Jeremy.

"I told you, Bonnie, it'll be fine. Matt's gonna be there too." Jeremy smiles.

The front door opens and closes loudly, causing Damon to spin around.

"Just in time." he turns around to who he believes is Elena.

But it isn't Elena.

Damon turns around to face Johanna entering, her hair messy and dishevelled, looking tired and reeking of alcohol. Johanna shoots him an obvious look of annoyance, and she frowns deeply at the simple sight of him.

"For what?"

Damon's eyes skim over her before he sighs loudly. "Great idea, coming to the first day of Hunter boot-camp hung over."

Matt immediately moves to her side. "Johanna, you didn't come home last night. Are you alright?"

His worry is evident in his voice.

She simply nods.

"As touching as this reunion is, we have to get going." Damon loudly announces.

After shooting Damon a look, Matt joins Jeremy and Bonnie upstairs as they retrieve their bags and whatever else they'll need to fit into Bonnie's car. Bonnie won't be staying with them, or visiting them much, but she wanted to drive the two of them down there so she could speak privately with them about Damon and promise them that they can call her whenever they need to. She also wants to talk to Jeremy about what Shane has been teaching her in regards to the mark.

Damon waits silently but impatiently outside for Johanna to pack her things up. He looks up as the front door of the Gilbert House closes, and finds her only carrying two bags in her hands. A frown already rests on his face, and his eyes skim over her slowly.

"What are you doing?" she eyes him off suspiciously.

He takes a step in her direction. "What, you thought you were walking there? You don't know where to go."

Johanna ignores his comment and walks down towards his car.

"I need to stop by Matt's place." she calls out.

Damon walks silently to the driver's door, he slides in and waits until she's inside to start the car up. They drive in silence towards Matt's place, and once they finally reach it Johanna leaves the two small bags inside of Damon's car and steps outside. She walks quickly towards the garage, and opens it with the key that Matt had given her earlier. After unlocking the door she slides it up, and steps inside so she can retrieve a few items from the car.

Before she has a chance to pull anything out of the car she hears Damon breathe out heavily. She turns to him and finds him standing next to her, impatient resting on his face, his eyes wandering over everything in the back of her car.

"What?" Damon frowns.

She shifts slightly but doesn't answer, and he speaks too quickly to give her a chance to answer.

"Let me guess, you've got skeletons in your closet? Or in your back-packet?" he murmurs.

They share a brief exchange before Damon turns away, muttering something that she can't quite hear, he returns to his car and leans against it before lifting his eyes up and watching her shoving items into various bags. He makes no attempts to figure out what exactly she's packing in her bags, because he doesn't care, and simply watches her from a distance. Curiosity lurks in his eyes, but she doesn't catch sight of it and keeps her back to him.

She only takes a few minutes to pack up what she needs, before she closes and locks her car, locks the garage, and returns to Damon with two bags hanging off of her shoulders.

Damon releases a deep sigh. "Finally, we can go!"

They drive towards the lake-house in complete silence, but sometimes silence is a good thing. Damon doesn't try to start conversation, and Johanna doesn't care. The silence is comfortable, and she spends the drive taking in her surroundings as they pass them. A low song plays on the radio, and she occasionally catches sight of Damon strumming his fingers against the wheel to it, but apart from that silence stays with them.

When the pull up to the house her eyes skim over it; a two story cabin, made of wood and surrounded by lots of trees and plants. For a second she believes if she had come here under different circumstances that this might have been a nice place to stay. A long, wide porch surrounds the house and the lake glistens with sunlight. Johanna slides out of the car, pulling her bags over her shoulders and shutting the car door behind her. She glances around at the trees and land which seems to go on for miles and miles.

She follows Damon down to the house, and as they near it Elena steps out on the porch with Matt by her side. She can't take her eyes off Elena for a moment as Rebekah's words from the previous night replay in her mind. She finds it strange that Elena would speak to her about the Salvatore brother's being vampires, but lie about herself.

Elena smiles, and the Hunter inside of Johanna feels sick thinking of her lies.

"You made it." Elena glances between the two of them.

"Finally." Damon mumbles.

Johanna can't find any words, so she just nods.

Elena turns to Matt. "Why don't you show Johanna upstairs to her room?"

Matt nods, and grins. "Alright."

He steps forward and kindly takes two of Johanna's bags from her, silently leading her inside. Johanna moves past Elena cautiously, and slowly moves inside to find that the inside of the house is very nicely decorated. Her eyes skim over the tables, benches, the couches and photographs before she turns to Jeremy in the kitchen.

"Johanna," he smiles. "This is Bonnie. Bonnie, this is Johanna."

"We met briefly, before." Bonnie smiles. "But it's nice to meet you."

She returns the smile. "You too, Bonnie."

Matt leads the way upstairs. He takes her up the staircase, and down a small hallway before he stops on the third door on the right. He turns the handle an presses it open, allowing her to enter first. The room is small. A double bed rests in the middle of the room, covered by a thick, brown blanket and several pillows. A small, wooden desk stands against the wall with a small chair set up before it.

"Thanks." she turns to him. "For carrying the bags up."

He sighs and his smile disappears completely. "What are you doing here, Johanna?"

Johanna frowns. "What?"

"You told me that you didn't enjoy killing vampires." he answers.

She remains silent, her eyes skimming over him.

"But you're here.." Matt sighs deeply. "And you're training with Damon, and that's what he's going to train to do - to kill vampires."

"I don't enjoy killing, but if it's what necessary, if it's what has to be done then I'll do it." she answers quickly, finding herself unable to divulge the truth to him.

She finds herself unable to tell Matt that the reason she's here is for him. She can't let Damon hurt him again, and he would if she had refused him again.

Matt pauses, but eventually answers. "Okay. I get it...Just, be careful. Okay?"

* * *

After changing into a pair of runners, black tights and a dark blue tank top, Johanna ties her hair up in a pony-tail and heads downstairs. She joins up with Matt and Jeremy, who had waited patiently downstairs in the kitchen. She smiles and they move outside into the warm afternoon sun.

They start the training off with running around the lake house, Matt joins the two of them to keep them company. They run for a few hours to build up their stamina and strength, and one their last lap they find Damon resting casually against a tree waiting silently for them. They start with basic self-defense and sparring. Damon trains with Jeremy first, and attempts to teach him to move faster and quicker.

After an hour, Damon calls for a switch and instructs that Johanna trains with him. Johanna and Matt share a brief exchange after Damon calls the switch, and he manages a half smile, before she turns away and walks to where he stands. Laid out on the flat ground are several different types of weapons, including daggers, stakes and knives.

During their earlier training, Jeremy had successfully picked up a stake before Damon could - but Damon had moved too quickly and knocked him to the ground, swiping the stake from his hand as he did.

Without any sort of warning, Damon moves towards her and slams her against the tree. He teases in her ear that she failed, and that she should have been prepared, before he pulls away and they resume the training quickly. After several minutes of training, he drops his hands to the ground and sighs loudly.

"Why are you here?!" Damon nearly shouts. "You're not capable, you're not a good hunter. You could be though, you have potential but you're not even trying."

Johanna meets his gaze with a clear reluctance. "Why don't we skip the pep talk, and get back to the training, Damon?"

He lunges at her, knocking her to the ground and leaning down over her.

"You failed, again." he tells her. "If I was trying, you'd be dead."

For a moment Damon believed he saw a flicker of fight inside of her, but she isn't fighting back as strongly as she could. She's scraping through, barely defending herself, like she doesn't care. She has no motivation for this, no desire to be here. Damon believes that to make her desire grow, to make her want to be here and do this, he needs to make her feel the fear and the pain.

He moves speedily towards her, catching her wrist with his hand he twists it unnaturally until he knows it will cause her enough pain to distract her. He drops her wrist, and in seconds she pulls her hand up to her chest.

And that's when he hits.

Damon picks up the small blade and digs it into her shoulder, pressing it deeply in the skin.

She gasps loudly, watching as blood spills down her shoulder. Her fingers grasp the blade, and without hesitation she pulls it out and grabs Damon's hand. Johanna twists his hand harshly behind his back, until the bone snaps, and then she continues twisting it until she's close enough to slam him back against the tree.

A loud groan passes his lips before he looks down and sees the stake that she holds pressed to his heart.

In this moment she wants to kill Damon. Every part of her wants to kill him, and be done with all of this. But seconds later, Jeremy's hands slide around the stake and he steps towards her. His voice is soft and kind as he speaks to her.

"It's okay, Johanna." Jeremy says quietly.

Damon doesn't move, instead watches as Jeremy silently takes the stake from her hand. He almost makes a comment about how she's failed to defend herself yet again, but she does defend herself. The hit is unexpected. She presses the blade, which he'd shoved into her shoulder, down into his chest just underneath his collarbone.

"I should put that through your heart," she whispers sharply. "But I'm showing you the mercy that you failed to show me."

He moans loudly as he stands upright. He glares dangerously at her, like he might kill her, as he reaches for the blade sticking out of his body. He pulls it out without blinking, blood trickles heavily down his shoulder but he doesn't take any notice of it.

He only takes notice of her. "Mercy is an excuse for the weak.

She swallows tightly, somehow holding his icy gaze.

"You're capable." he states. "Who trained you?"

She doesn't give him the answers that he wants, and this annoys him even more.

"Enough with the freaking silent treatment, Johanna." he exclaims. "You've been trained before. You're capable, you're just pretending not to me."

"I trained myself." she replies.

Damon's eyes squint slightly, before he angrily tosses the blade to the ground. He doesn't believe her, this much is clear, and he doesn't want to be around her right now.

"Another fifteen laps." he announces.

They don't move.

"All of you," Damon's voice rises. "Get out of here, now!"

Once they have begun to move away, he glances up at their figures and releases a deep sigh before moving to put his shoulder back in place. It cracks loudly, and the pain that shoots through his body is agonizing. Eventually, he cracks it back into place and then fixes his wrist.

Damon can't stop his mind as it swirls with thoughts of Johanna. She was too skilled just then for someone who is supposedly untrained and incapable.

* * *

The moon hangs brightly in the dark and silent sky, as Johanna rests against the wooden railings of the dock. Her eyes are settled comfortably on the cool water. She hadn't planned to come down here, but after she had stepped outside in search of a peaceful moment alone she had made her way down here.

The training ha continued long into the night, and once they had finally finished Matt, Jeremy and Johanna had eaten pizza together while Damon had disappeared. After dinner, Johanna had showered, rinsed the dirt, sweat and blood from her body and changed into long black pants and blue shirt to sleep in. She had come across Matt and Jeremy in the living room, playing X-box and drinking soda, and she hadn't wanted to interrupt them so instead she had searched until she had found what she was looking for.

Bourbon.

The darkness of the night provides an isolation and emptiness that she's comfortable with.

"Not thinking of taking a midnight dive, are you?" Damon's icy voice breaks through the silence.

She doesn't turn to face him, or glance up, but instead continues to quietly stare out at the moon reflecting on the calm water.

"I don't know if you know this..." his voice moves closer, and she feels him move beside her seconds later. "But vampires hate water."

Damon turns towards her, blatantly casting a look over her. When his eyes settle on the bourbon in her hands, he snatches it from her.

"Give me that." he presses it to his lips before she can object.

He swallows two large mouthfuls before removing it from his lips, he can feel her watching him so he turns to her slowly.

"What are you doing out here, Damon?" she pauses, taking the bottle from him.

She wraps her fingers around it tightly, and swallows a large mouthful.

"Let me guess...You've got a stake in your pocket." she glances to his leather jacket. "It wouldn't surprise me after today."

He smiles devilishly. "Or, the alternative is I'm just happy to see you."

Johanna raises her eyebrows. "I'll go with the first option."

When she looks up again she finds Damon watching her with a shielded expression resting on his hardened features.

"What?" Johanna asks.

Suspicion lurks in his eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

"You were persuasive." she mutters.

Damon shrugs, and snatches the bottle from her again. "My methods are effective."

He finishes most of the bottle before he releases a deep breath of air. "If you're still here in the morning, we start at six thirty. If you come, be prepared to train. I don't want to see any of that crap you pulled today."

An immediate frown falls on her face. "What crap?"

"You know." Damon sighs. "The whole 'I'm not capable' act. You are. I don't care who trained you before, I don't care what you know, and I don't care what you don't know. You're training with you now, and you should probably know that I don't care about a lot of things. Most things, actually. So, if you're there - prove me wrong. Prove to me that you're capable, and show me that you have something to fight for."

Damon turns and begins to step away, but quickly halts at the sound of her voice rising in the darkness.

"What if I have nothing to fight for?" she asks.

He hesitates and turns rigidly towards her. "Well, that's easy. Pretend you do."

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) thanks for reading my story, it means a lot to me and I hope you're enjoying it so far. I also hope you're liking the training interactions so far, and I can promise more to come. I apologise for any spelling errors I missed (hopefully there are none) and thanks for reading.**

**A special thanks to ****SophStratt, lilsis321, Alsynea and X Blue Eyed Demon X - for your kind reviews.**

**X**


	13. Blood red skies

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I do bad things._

The morning starts off with several runs around the lake, just like the day before. The three of them only run for as long as Damon tells them to, and when he instructs that they begin to spar Elena arrives at the house ready to join in and help however she can.

The second that Elena arrives, a smile on her face, Johanna finds herself almost unable to stand still and watch her when she knows what she is. She's a vampire, and now that she knows this there is a newfound desire to kill filling Johanna. She greets her with a half smile, but no words, because right now it's all that she can manage. The urge to kill the two vampires standing to the left of her only grows when Damon suggests that she train with Elena.

He suggests this because he wants to keep an eye on Jeremy, and also he wants to give Elena a chance to show the skills that Alaric taught her. Damon keeps his eyes focused only on Jeremy and his many failed attempts at attempting to stake him. Damon dodges the stakes and the crossbows with ease, repeatedly saying that Jeremy has to want it more and then he'll become better.

His focus on Jeremy is pulled away as an obvious cracking sound echoes through the air. Damon turns around just in time to watch Elena's unconscious body dropping to the floor. Jeremy and Matt follows his gaze, eyes wide and lips parted. Shock fills their features.

Johanna glances up slowly, tossing the dagger in her hands to the ground. Somehow, she had restrained herself from putting the dagger through Elena. She believed that was only because Elena had showed her some form of kindness, even if that kindness had been hiding the truth.

"What?" Johanna shrugs. "I don't see what you're staring at. She's a vampire, it'll only take her a couple of minutes to recover, right?"

She only manages to take one step away before Damon sweeps towards her. Seconds later he's standing in front of her, anger painting his features.

"Where do you think you're going?" he almost growls.

"We're done here."

"Oh!" Damon sighs. "You've got to be kidding me?! You know, Johanna, I'm sick of this whole uncertain, moral crap that you keep pulling. You're a vampire hunter, you can't pretend that's not who you are - but with that said, you had no right to snap Elena's neck. She didn't do anything. She wanted you to come here so you could grow stronger. And since we're on the subject of what you can't do - you can't pretend that you don't want to kill us either, or threatening to leave because I can guarantee you that if you do leave no one's coming after you. No one would bother chasing after you."

Johanna's eyes briefly skim past Damon, falling upon Matt and Jeremy who have moved towards Elena's side.

"What am I doing here? Really, why? Why all this secrecy?" Johanna answers quickly. "Why the lies about Elena being a vampire?"

"I told you-" Damon sighs loudly.

"And I told you that I don't believe you."

"And I told you that I don't give a crap what you believe. If you want to leave, go. I've got enough on my hands babysitting a teenage hunter, and a quarterback."

"Damon." Matt sighs, pulling Damon's gaze towards him.

At first, he's uncertain. His frown only deepens, and uncertainty clouds his blue eyes, until he shares a look of understanding with Matt and suddenly Damon gets it. Somehow, Matt knows about why they have truly asked Johanna here. He knows the truth.

Johanna lifts her hands to her forehead. "I'm sorry, okay? I am. I don't-I don't know what happened, one minute I was standing there and we were training...And then the next, she was on the ground."

Jeremy speaks up. "It's okay."

He understands what it's like to lose it, to have no control over what you're doing and who it is you're trying to harm. He almost hurt Elena, so many times.

Damon snorts. "It's not okay. How is it okay? She just snapped Elena's neck!"

"Why don't- Go inside, Johanna, or go for a run and cool off?" Matt suggests, knowing that it's only a matter of time before Damon snaps.

Johanna pauses, glancing down regretfully on Elena's body. "When she wakes...Tell her-"

Without having to hear the rest of her sentence, Jeremy knows what she wants. Johanna wants them to tell Elena that she's sorry, that she wasn't able to stop herself and she lost control. Jeremy knows that being a hunter is, in a way, similar to being a vampire. There are desires and urges that control you, and push you until you sometimes lose control. There are also moments when, despite how hard you try, you can't stop yourself and then it's over - and by the time you've realised what you've done it's far too late.

"Tell her what?" Damon inches closer. "That you broke her neck because you were pissed off that she didn't sit down with you and spill all her secrets? Tell her, that you're sorry? Because even if she buys into that, I won't. I don't think you're sorry at all. You're a hunter, it's what you are."

Johanna quickly shakes her head. "I am sorry."

He is noticeably disbelieving and furious, and he makes no attempt to conceal it.

"I do bad things, okay?" she snaps back loudly. "Sometimes, I can't stop myself. Like now. But at least I'm trying to be better - doesn't that count?"

"Better?" Damon scoffs, almost laughing.

He watches as Johanna's body stiffens up, and she swallows tightly. Her eyes rest on him still as he continues, because he can't control his words even if he'd wanted to.

"There's no better version of you, and you're deluded if you think otherwise. Now get out of here before I do something bad, I won't regret it but you will."

Damon pauses for a second before he kneels down beside Elena's body, he doesn't turn back or look up as Johanna casts one longer look over the four of them. She turns away quickly, breaking out into an immediate run.

She runs because she has to, because she needs to get out of here, she doesn't belong back there. Johanna doesn't take the same track that she runs with Jeremy and Matt, instead she takes a new track because she doesn't want to be followed. She needs time alone.

The new track leads her off of the grounds of the lake house, and down towards the border of a road. She winds up across from a small bar on the edge of town. It stands beside a long, wide lake and large masses of trees. The air is fresh and cold down here, and she takes a moment to breathe it in.

The bar is small, painted dark blue and black with wooden windows and a dark roof. It stands tall with many signs and paintings hanging on the outside. Empty chairs and tables stand outside of it, and a few vehicles are parked to the left. Johanna walks slowly down towards it, suddenly craving a cold drink. She hesitates as he fingers press the wooden doors, and after a moment she enters without looking back.

Once Elena had finally woken up, she'd moved inside with Damon where they talked for a moment. She wasn't angry with Johanna, but she could see the anger building up in Damon's eyes and felt that she had to talk to him in an attempt to calm him down. Before she left, she was pulled aside by Jeremy who talked to here about Johanna and what it was like being a hunter surrounded by vampires.

After Elena's departure, Jeremy heads outside to find Damon and Matt at a stand still facing a familiar face.

Klaus.

"You're not moving fast enough." Klaus observes, walking casually towards the group.

Damon breathes out a heavy sigh. "What do you want, Klaus?"

"Like I said, you're not moving fast enough. You haven't made any progress on the mark." Klaus answers loudly. "How about I have a turn."

Damon frowns deeply. "What, you want to spar with-"

"No." Jeremy cuts across them. "You need to leave."

"I wasn't asking." Klaus smiles.

"As great as that idea sounds-" Damon starts.

"You've tried, Damon. You've had two whole days, and what have you achieved? No progress. Nothing. My methods will prove to be far more effective than yours, if only you would try them." Klaus counters, the small smirk remaining on his face.

For a second, Damon simply watches Klaus with his eyes narrowed in on him.

"Oh, yeah?" he answers finally. "And what exactly would those methods be, Klaus?"

"Why don't we discuss it over a drink?" Klaus answers. "My shout, of course."

* * *

After finding himself unable to force Matt to remain at the lake house, Damon had left with the two of them and headed down towards the bar which Klaus had called them down to in order to discuss methods of training which would supposedly be more effective.

Damon knew that Klaus was up to something, and that he was willing to do whatever was necessary to get his hands on the cure, so instantly he was reluctant about heading down towards the bar. His worries only grew as he stepped through the doors of the bar, immediately looking upon a limp body painted in crimson on the floor. His eyes had then drawn him towards a red mess on top of the pool table, then they have moved towards the bar next to a stool where a makeshift stake out of the leg of a chair had been pierced through the man's stomach. Two more bodies rested on top of the counter, and the last laid at her feet.

He had to do a double take when his eyes settled upon Johanna, because he couldn't believe it was her. He didn't want to believe it was her. She sits at the bar stool, stained with marks of dry blood. Her hands grip an empty bottle, and she tosses it down to the ground. It shatters into a million pieces on the floor.

"Johanna?" Jeremy cries out, moving to step forward.

Damon lifts a hand up, pressing it against Jeremy's chest to stop him from walking forward.

"Hang on." Damon whispers.

He keeps the protective hand pressed against Jeremy's chest, not wanting him to move forward just yet.

She rests frighteningly still, and it almost seems like she isn't breathing. Blood runs up her elbows, neck and chest. It smears the right side of her face and runs in her hair. She reaches for another bottle, apparently still unaware of those standing behind her. After unscrewing the lid, she presses it to her lips and swallows mouthful after mouthful.

Klaus enters the room now, casting his eyes over the dead bodies as he does.

"What the hell did you do?" Damon takes the first steps towards her. "They were-"

Johanna rigidly turns towards him, her entire body remaining stiff. Her eyes are much darker, much emptier, as she settles them upon him. She clenches her jaw tightly at the sight of him.

"Vampires." she finishes his sentence.

"All of them?" Damon frowns.

"Yes, newly turned I believe." Klaus announces.

Damon quickly spins around. "You did this?!"

"Not for her." Klaus sighs. "But I must say that this is a pleasant surprise, isn't it? She's quite impressive, Damon."

After silently observing Johanna for a brief second, Damon glances towards Jeremy and Matt. His face is so heavily guarded that not a single emotion slips through.

"Take her home." he instructs.

They don't argue with Damon, and instead step quickly towards her side to help her. Jeremy reaches out for her, pressing his fingers gently against her sticky shoulders. She stands abruptly from the stool, defensively pushing his hand from her she grabs his hand and almost twists it until his shoulder pops out of the socket. But Jeremy stops her before she can do that.

He is cool, and calm, as he speaks to her.

"It's just me, Johanna. It's Jeremy." he whispers, remaining completely calm. "I'm like you. Remember?"

Her eyes glance down towards his arm, like it's something new, and she pulls her hands from him.

"Come on." Matt whispers softly.

He tries to guide her away from the bar. "Let's go."

She's dazed, not really here, and the best thing that Damon believes they can do right now is to take her home. He'll clean up the mess that she created. But when he thinks about it, and he thinks about her a lot, this isn't her mess. This is their mess. They dragged her into this, they pulled her into this situation, and this is where she has landed as a result of their actions.

It's his mess.

* * *

Johanna rests still like a stone statue painted with blood. Her eyes rest on the lake, which she can view from her room. She doesn't move and she doesn't answer the voices that call out from the opposite side of the locked door. Instead she ignores them, just like she ignores the banging on the door. They fade away eventually, like most things do, before disappearing entirely and she soon finds herself thankful for the silence.

The silence holds the truth.

Her hand rises to her neck without any recollection of doing so, and she presses it down against the skin to try to stop the bleeding from the new wound. The blood is warm as it trickles down her hand and runs through her fingers. Her eyes shut against her will, and all that she can see is it replaying over and over in her mind.

The blood.

The men on the floor lying in crumpled heaps, but when they woke they weren't men. The first vampire had lured her in. She'd knelt beside him, believing he was injured, and then he pulled her to the floor and dug into her flesh with his razor sharp teeth. All that she can feel now is the blood against her skin. Sticky and dry.

It was kill or be killed - and somehow she had made it out alive.

By the time that Damon returns to the lake house, it's late in the afternoon. He'd spent the entire morning digging graves, burying bodies and cleaning up blood. He enters the house to find it mostly silent, with the exception of Matt and Jeremy who he finds huddled up in the corner of the kitchen in what appears to be a deep discussion. He looks annoyed and angered as he enters, but when he first settles his eyes upon them he says nothing.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. They were supposed to train, but not this way, not by killing humans. But there was nothing that they could do now, they couldn't reverse it or take it back. They could only accept it, and accept what had been done, and then try to move forward from it.

Damon finally speaks. "Where is she?"

"Upstairs." Matt answers. "She won't let anyone in."

In seconds, Damon is standing outside the door to her bedroom. He reaches for the handle and finds that it is still locked, so he knocks but receives silence. Damon tries again, knocking louder, but he still receives more silence.

"Come on, Johanna. I'll kick it down if I have to." he threatens.

Nothing.

"Come on! You know I'll kick it down, then anyone can walk in-"

He hears footsteps first, followed by the sound of a lock being twisted. The handle twists and turns, and she pulls the door open. She glances up at him slowly, eyes still wide, lips parted and cheeks still painted with blood. She hasn't showered yet.

Damon steps inside, shutting the door behind him. He looks over her cautiously, searching for any wounds. He finds a few cuts, which can easily fixed with a few bandages.

"You were right." she turns her back on him.

He frowns. "What?"

She releases a deeply held breath of air.

_There's no better version of you, this is who you are._

"There's no better version of me." she repeats his earlier words. "This is who I am."

She catches him sighing.

_You're deluded if you think otherwise._

"I was foolish to think otherwise."

"Johanna..."

She spins around. "Don't pretend."

"What? Don't pretend that I'm sorry? That I care? Well, I'm not and I don't." he snaps back quickly.

Damon doesn't think he should feel guilty when he looks down at her; bloody, uncertain and drained of any sort of life. But he does feel guilty, and it makes him feel uncomfortable. He turns away without glancing at her and reaches for the door, stepping through it without looking back, but as he takes a step down the hallway he stops.

He doesn't know why he stops, but he does, and slowly he turns around and takes smaller, quieter steps towards the room to look in on her. She's sitting on the edge of the bed now, her back to him, her eyes on the window. Her head rests tightly in her hands and she doesn't move.

Damon stands in the archway, watching as she draws in a long, sharp breath of air that causes her entire body to shake.

Johanna has become everything that she never wanted to be again. She's become a killer, even if they were vampires - they were once human, they once had a family, they once loved someone and were loved in return.

She sits upright suddenly, pushing her dirty hair off of her face. The sound of footsteps behind her rings in the silence, but she doesn't glances up so he steps towards her. Damon takes several steps in her direction, so she can't avoid his gaze and pretend he isn't here.

"Sometimes life sucks." Damon says, with a surprisingly quiet voice.

Slowly, she looks up and finds that he holds a towel in his hands. He extends it to her eventually, eyes and expression empty of any sort of emotion.

"Okay, not sometimes." Damon continues. "Most of the time life sucks, and all that you can do is wash the blood off and move on - pretend it never happened. It's not easy, but eventually you'll forget what all of this feels like."

* * *

_"Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_Johanna remains silent, uncertainty hidden in her dark eyes, as she stands before him with her hands stiffly by her sides._

_"Johanna." he sighs. "We're better than they are. We don't kill mercilessly, or for fun. You don't, you'd never kill. I do because it's who I am, because I was destined to do these things - even if they're bad, I have to do them. I have to stop them. Even if it means..."_

_"Even if it means death?" she speaks up._

_"It doesn't." he promises, a weak smile on his face. "I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I promise you, I will never leave you unprotected."_

_"I don't care if I'm unprotected, I just care about you. I want you always. That's what I want." she answers quickly._

_His smile falters. "Close your eyes."_

_Her eyes close._

_"Slow down your breathing, and try to calm yourself." he instructs._

_Johanna obliges, soon calming her body down as much as she can. Her breathing eventually slows down, and falls into a constant, light pace._

_"Think of me."_

_She thinks of him._

_"Picture me."_

_Brown hair. Dark green eyes. Smiling._

_"See me beside you, with you." he whispers._

_The light sifts through her close eyelids, and he appears like an image. They're lying together in the soft morning light, covered by soft blue sheets._

_"When you see me...Know that I am with you." he smiles. "Like I always wanted to be, like I promised I would be. But...This is who I am, this is what I was always destined to do. All you have to do is remember that as long as I am breathing, as long as my feet still rest on the ground and my heart still beats, I'll never let anything hurt you again. I promise."_

The darkness falls upon her as she wakes, gasping for air like she'd been held beneath icy waters.

The feeling of a hand pressed against her shoulder sends a jolt throughout her body, and without thinking she responds like she knows how to. It's in her bones. She jumps from the bed, twists the intruders hand behind their back, and slams them roughly against the war. A familiar groan of pain passes their lips, and she drops her hands to her side releasing her hold.

"Matt!?" she nearly shouts.

"I'm- I'm...I'm sorry." he turns around cautiously, worry painted across his face.

"What the hell were you doing?" she shouts angrily. "Why would you-"

Matt tries to catch his breath. "I couldn't sleep, and then I heard you."

"You heard me?" she frowns, finding herself unable to form the right words. "Wh-What...I don't understand."

"You were...Talking in your sleep, I guess. Calling out to Jer...I didn't catch it. Maybe, Jeremy?"

She stiffens up noticeably, dropping her gaze to the floorboards.

"I'm sorry, for waking you."

Matt shrugs. "You didn't, like I said I couldn't sleep..."

"I meant, for hurting your arm." she scratches at the side of her forehead.

Finally, she drags her eyes up towards him and catches sight of his eyes studying her

She manages a weak smile. "When I was younger, I used to have a dog named Jerry that ran away.. I must have been calling out to him."

Johanna lies through her teeth, still wearing a convincing smile on her face.

"Did you get him back?" he asks.

"No, I didn't." she moves past him. "I'm sorry for waking you."

Matt quickly follows after her, silently retracing her footsteps as she moves down the staircase.

"You're eager to get started." Damon turns his head towards the staircase.

He rests firmly in an armchair, legs kicked up, a glass of whiskey resting in his hands and a frown already settled on his face. Johanna takes no notice of him, and moves straight towards the cupboards in the kitchen. She opens them quickly, searching frantically for something that she can't find.

"Lost something?" Matt asks.

But she doesn't take any notice of him.

After silently observing her for a minute, stands from the arm-chair.

"You really think I'm going to just leave that stuff sitting around with two teenagers, and an unstable vampire hunter?" his tone mocks her.

He knows what she's after.

Her body stiffens up and she turns to face him.

"Anyway, what happened, Johanna? No more AA?" he almost smiles.

"How did you know?" she asks quietly.

Damon stands still, shooting her a look which is almost daring her to lunge forward at him and try something.

"How did you know?" she shouts, lunging forward at him.

She slams Damon back against the wall. Their bodies crash against each other as the glass photographs that had hung from the walls crash and shatter. The glass behind a photograph behind Damon's head cracks as his head collides with it. He almost looks amused.

"Johanna, come on." Matt's voice rings through the silence.

"What, you seriously didn't think that I'd do my own research on you?" Damon scoffs. "You highly underestimate me."

"He told you. Didn't he?" she snaps back accusingly.

Damon frowns deeply. "What, do you really think Ric would've told me about having a drunk for a sister?"

He grabs her tightly by the wrists, and she can't break free of his grip. Damon shoves her backwards carelessly, so she isn't near him anymore.

"Well, no, he didn't." he loudly continues. "He didn't speak of you at all. Seems that he took the whole 'you're dead to me' approach very seriously."

Johanna takes a step away, her eyes falling to the floor covered with shards of glass. For a minute she finds herself lost in the pictures on the ground, broken and torn, but she finally looks up and meets Damon's gaze. His eyes are colder and harder than they were seconds earlier.

"Johanna." Jeremy settles a hand against her shoulder.

She flinches slightly but doesn't move.

"You should come with me." he suggests.

Damon nods quickly. "You better listen to your hunting buddy."

She turns from Damon quickly, finding Matt and Jeremy standing behind her.

Jeremy speaks up. "You want to go for a walk?"

She nods and follows him outside, leaving the silence to float between Damon and Matt for only a moment.

"Why do you have to do that for?" Matt asks angrily.

"Go to sleep, quarterback." Damon growls, turning his back on him. "But before you do, clean up this mess."

Matt stands still. "I'm not going to bed yet, and I'm not cleaning up your mess."

"Whoa." Damon spins around. "Okay, if I had known I was in for teenage angst when I signed up for this-"

"You don't have to be here, Damon. No one asked you to come. You came because you wanted to help, for Elena, right? If you don't want to be here anymore, then go. No one will stop you from leaving." Matt responds confidently.

Damon releases a deeper sigh. "I'm not sure if you've taken too many hits to the head, but I'm here because Jeremy is a _vampire _hunter - he can't train to hunt vampires without a vampire. And that's me. I fit that criteria."

"Alright, so train him and quit being a dick about it." Matt bites back quickly.

In seconds, Damon has moved to stand before Matt. He wears a much darker, more serious expression on his features.

"Or..." Damon's voice is much quieter. "I could turn you, then I could leave, and he'd have a vampire to train with? How about that?"

Matt swallows tightly, giving Damon silence.

"I didn't think so."

"I'm not cleaning up your mess." Matt finally speaks up.

"My mess?" Damon snorts, taking a step back. "It's not my mess, it's hers."

"She killed today, Damon. And she didn't want to. Can't you cut her a break?"

Damon rolls his eyes.

The words pass Matt's lips without a second thought. "Considering that you're just using her to get the cure, don't you think you could at least cut her a break?"

"We don't get breaks in this world." Damon snaps back. "This world is unfair, and cruel, and there aren't any breaks. I've killed far more than she has, and I'm just fine. And just so you know, we're not using her. We're just using...Let's call it her skills. We need her skills, she's just providing them without any knowledge of doing so."

"You're fine because you don't feel anything - but she does. She feels everything because she's human." Matt responds quietly.

Damon's voice returns to a low growl. "It's not my mess or my problem."

"You know, Damon - I don't care." Matt shrugs, stepping away from the kitchen. "I'm not cleaning it up."

Jeremy leads Johanna down towards the dock. They stop once they reach it, leaning against the wooden railings. Soft, gentle waves rush and run through the night. The moonlight falls softly and peacefully on the river.

"You okay?" Jeremy finally asks.

She half smiles. "I'm fine. I just want to snap his neck."

"As much as we've all wanted to do that at some time, or another, I wouldn't recommend it." Jeremy sighs, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants.

"Why?" she turns to him.

"Because it's what he wants. At times, he's..Sadistic. Damon wants a reaction from you, or from anyone who will give it. I don't know why but he does. What you can do instead of giving him a reaction is to give him nothing."

"Easier said than done."

Jeremy nods once. "I know. He's going to test you, because he tests everyone, and just when you think he's done playing games he hits you with something else. Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is he wants to evoke a reaction in you so if you don't give him one it's better for you, and for everyone."

She sighs loudly and crosses her arms around herself. "It's just..."

"What?"

Johanna bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from speaking. This doesn't concern Jeremy. It doesn't concern any of them, and she doesn't want them to learn this.

"Nothing." she smiles finally, turning to him. "It doesn't matter."

"It probably does." Jeremy returns the smile. "You can say it, if you like."

"It's fine. It's nothing." she repeats, her smile widening. "Thanks for taking me out of there, I probably would've killed him. Or tried to."

Jeremy hesitates noticeably.

"What?" she frowns slightly.

"You saved my life-" he starts.

She stops him. "You don't have to say anything about that."

"I know, but I want to. You saved my life but today you..."

"Took lives?"

Jeremy breathes in sharply. "Yeah, if you don't want to say here you don't have to. If you're staying because of me, or Matt, you don't have to. You can go."

She nods. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Giving me a choice." she turns to the water. "But for now, I think I'll stay."

"Good." Jeremy grins. "It's good to have some real competition around here. You've seen Matt on the X-box, right?"

She laughs quietly.

"It's good to have you around." he admits quietly.

Johanna turns to him again, a smaller smile resting on her face.

And she says the words that she didn't think she'd be capable of saying.

"It's good to be here."

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) **

**Thanks for reading this story, it means a lot and I hope you enjoy this new chapter. There are a few concerns I have for this story still (like the readers becoming sick of the OC Johanna, because it is an OC based story and some people don't like that) but for this chapter, and a couple of chapters to come, some of the events that occur did happen in the show but they've been altered, in some cases slightly and in others drastically, and adapted to this story and I guess I worry that it might seem as though I'm simply slotting in this character into the events that have occurred. I haven't, I really wanted to follow a different path to the show while including some elements so I hope you don't feel this way and if you do please let me know so I can make an attempt to fix it. :)**

**So far, the training has been...Difficult. There are more training scenes in store, and they don't end with someone's neck being snapped or blood being drawn (well not all of them) and I can't wait for you to read them. :3**

**Okay, so a special thanks to SophStratt, Alsynea and Joyscott13 for their kind reviews of chapter 12 :)**

**X**


	14. Remebering the dead

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_There's nothing good about him._

With the early morning sun comes a visitor.

Elena arrives when the warm light is setting over the land, in search of Damon or Jeremy. Instead of them, she finds someone else. She finds Johanna, down by the lake resting with her arms crossed over herself and her eyes settled on the calm, light water running before her.

She swallows tightly, and prepares herself.

"Good morning, Johanna." Elena calls out, from behind her.

Johanna stiffens up, turning around with a surprising quickness.

"I can honestly say that I didn't expect to see you again, or for you to wish me a good morning." she answers.

Elena sighs. "Yeah, I..er. I think we need to talk."

Johanna's arms remain crossed. "Good idea. Why don't you start with the part about you being a vampire?"

For a moment, there is nothing but silence.

Then, Elena half smiles and breathes out deeply. "I didn't want to tell you because you're a hunter, not because...Not because you're not my friend."

She studies her face.

"Because you are. I think? I'm not sure. That's not the point, the point is that my transition happened this year. Recently. It wasn't my choice, I wasn't ready, and I wouldn't have chosen this life before but...Now it's my life, and as hard as it is for me to believe this is who I am. You know, there are moments where I feel numb when I think about what I am and then there are times when I embrace it because...This is my life now, and the decisions and choices that I made led me here. Regardless of the fact that I'm afraid that I'll lose myself, and I'm afraid of where my new life is headed, I have to accept it and I have to protect myself and keeping it from you - that was me protecting myself, and my family."

Her expression softens slightly. Johanna uncrosses her arms, and casts a longer look at Elena.

"You won't lose yourself." she suddenly announces. "You can't, it's impossible when you have Jeremy as a brother and Matt as a friend. They'd never let that happen."

Elena smiles shakily, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know but I'm still scared. I'm scared I'll lose them, or hurt them, and I'm sorry for unloading all of this on you. I never talk about this, with anyone. Ever."

A flicker of warmth darts over Johanna's expression, as she silently thinks of her brother who cared so much for Elena and Jeremy. She finds herself feeling something new, something strange. A desire to comfort Elena, to let her know that she isn't as alone as she thinks that she is.

Without considering her next movements, Johanna steps forward and, like she understands, Elena moves closer and the two embrace. Elena's arms wrap tightly around Johanna, hugging her closely.

"You won't lose yourself." she whispers.

A weak smile forms on Elena's lips. "I don't want to. I can't-I can't afford to."

"You have Jeremy, and Matt, looking out for you. And you have...Me."

Silence follows for a second, until Elena pulls back from the embrace with a slight look of disbelief resting on her features.

"I do?" she asks uncertainly.

"You took me into your home, you tried to look out for me - and you gave me my brother's things. Look..what I'm saying is that if you're honest about who you are, from here on, while I'm in town I'll look out for you any way that I can."

Elena's smile falters, her breathing hitches noticeably and she drops her hands to her side. Guilt builds inside her chest, and she almost explodes with it, but she soon pushes those feelings and thoughts down and smiles fuller.

"You'll always have a place at the Gilbert House, or even here..Once you're done with the training. I want you to know that."

Johanna smiles now. "If you hold on to who, and what, you really are inside then you can never really lose yourself. Not completely."

Elena breaks away from Johanna minutes later, allowing her to start her morning run around the lake with Jeremy and Matt. She crosses her arms, and moves speedily inside. She immediately comes across Damon, a guarded look on his features. He looks unimpressed.

"Cute talk out by the lake." he grunts.

"You were listening to that?!" she asks, shutting the door behind her.

He nods, taking a step in her direction. "Mhm. You know, I'm totally up for the whole girl-on-girl bonding and becoming best-buds but we have a job to do here, Elena. We don't have time for that."

She's hesitant, he can see it in her eyes.

"What, don't tell me you have cold feet?" his eyes narrow in on her.

"At the start-"

"It meant nothing to you. Jeremy was your priority, not this stranger, but now she's not a stranger."

"Damon..."

"It meant nothing before, but now it does. Right?" he tilts his head to the left.

Elena simply nods.

Damon rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on, Elena. You're a vampire, you don't have to feel the mundane emotion of guilt if you don't want to!"

"But I do feel guilty, Damon. She's Ric's sister. He would never do this to me, or to Jeremy. I can't go through with this anymore, I don't want to. We have to find another way, there has to be another way, because I feel sick about what we're doing and I don't want to use her."

"It's a little late for that, Elena." he says quietly.

She watches him closely, stepping in his direction as a frown forms on her face. "What do you mean, Damon?"

"By late I mean...Late. I don't know how much clearer I can be, Elena. It's not cryptic."

"Why is it too late, Damon?" her voice rises.

She catches a fragment of emotion in his eyes, but it disappears too quickly for her to determine what it is.

"Tell me, Damon."

"Johanna's already killed, okay? Her mark grew. Now before you get angry at me, it wasn't my doing. Klaus got involved somehow, he caught a whiff of us down here with his damn dog nose and he set them up for Jeremy. Johanna got there first, and she walked in unprepared. It was messy. Five bodies. But for someone with no experience, she didn't get hurt too badly."

After taking note of her mixed expression, Damon releases a deeply held breath and takes a step towards her. His voice is significantly lower as he continues.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

There is no anger, no rage, in his voice. Only softness.

"It is, Damon." she answers finally.

"You can't just sit back and hope that somehow the solution to this problem somehow pops up - or the cure will miraculously find you, because it won't. You need to seize it for yourself."

Elena looks up slowly, eyes wide. "For us?"

"What?" he sounds irritated.

"Seize the cure, for us?" she almost smiles.

When he sighs, and whispers her name, she closes the distance between them and takes his hands holding them tightly with her own.

"You know how I feel about you, Damon."

He hesitates. "Yeah, and I know how you feel about my brother."

"I love Stefan..." she starts quietly.

Damon takes her hands out of his, dropping his to his sides. "Exactly."

"But there's a part of me that thinks I might love you too."

In this moment, after those words, Damon should have known that it wasn't love. He should have realised that real love, all consuming love, would be certain. There wouldn't be doubt, or hesitancy, and she shouldn't have to think about it. She should just know. But he was desperate, he'd wanted to hear those words for so long, and now there was hope.

He smiles. "For you."

* * *

After half an hour of running, the rain starts to fall. It falls heavily and relentlessly, sending chills through their bodies but it doesn't prevent or stop the group from training. The three of them run together, retracing the same path that they follow every day. They spar for a few hours, and then start off on another run when Johanna notices something different with Matt.

Johanna abruptly stops running and turns back to him, finding that he is hunched over coughing loudly. She pushes her wet hair off of her face, quickly joining his side.

"You okay?"

He looks up and smiles, but it's more of a grimace. "Yeah, I just need a minute."

"What, did the competition get too much for you two?" Jeremy glances back, a grin on his face.

Johanna glances between the two, before returning her darkened eyes to Matt and smiling sympathetically at him.

"Let's go inside."

He shakes his head, but doesn't fight to break away from her. "I'm fine."

"I wasn't asking."

"You heard him." Damon appears suddenly and unannounced. "He said he's fine, now get back to it."

"You okay, man?" Jeremy joins them.

Damon doesn't hesitate to respond. "He's fine."

"He's not fine, Damon. He doesn't feel well." she snaps back, with a surprising protectiveness.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise that being a hunter enabled you to read other people's thoughts." he glares at her. "Well, here's a warning - You don't want to enter my mind, I don't think you'd like to know what I was thinking about you right now."

She doesn't falter. "Come with me, Matt."

Damon moves and blocks her path. "And what do you think you're doing?"

She turns to Matt. "Come on, please. It's only one day."

After a brief minute of hesitation, Matt agrees and follows the group inside.

Once they have returned to the cabin, Matt is ordered upstairs to have a warm shower, change into something warm and get in bed. He doesn't argue with Johanna, partly because she seems very determined on him doing this but also because the idea of being warm is pleasing. Damon enters the cabin shortly after, accompanied by Jeremy. They find her moving around the kitchen quickly.

"If you're looking for the whiskey, it isn't in here." Damon crosses his arms, looking amused.

She ignores him again.

Johanna turns to Jeremy, a small smile resting on her lips. "Jeremy, you should change."

He nods and returns the smile. "Sure. You need my help down here?"

"I'm good." she answers quietly.

Damon takes a step in her direction. "What, don't tell me you're ignoring me? Oh, no. Whatever will I do without the constant pain in my ass, giving me silence for once?"

It seems to aggravate him more when she still remains silent.

"Don't you think you're a little too old to be giving me the silent treatment?" he asks loudly.

She sighs. "Says the one hundred and seventy year old vampire."

"Since we're on the topic of me - I'm the trainer, you're the trainee. You don't get to decide what we do, and don't do. I'm in charge. You got it?"

"Control issues, hm?" she glances up quickly.

Damon smirks. "Controlling isn't an issue for me, not in the slightest."

"I can't be compelled, Damon." she turns away, setting down bugs on the bench.

"Tell me, how and when was your first vampire encounter? When did you learn about them?" he cocks his head to the right.

Even with her back to him, she can feel his eyes burning into her skin.

"I'd rather not."

"Ooh..That bad of an experience, huh?" he moves closer.

She can picture the smug look on his face.

Her voice is quieter. "I'd rather not."

"Well, I'd rather not quit the training session so early today but that happened." he sighs. "It wasn't your choice to make."

"But I made it anyway, didn't I?" she turns to him now.

His expression hardens and his soft blue eyes become significantly colder.

"Don't push me, Johanna." he warns her. "I don't like to be pushed."

"You can't kill me."

"True." he nods quickly. "But...I'm sure that we could find some other way to have fun. Snap a bone here, shove a stake in there. Who knows, I might hit a lung and then we might have some real fun."

Damon expects a reaction from her. He expects her to snap, or respond, but instead she gives him more silence.

"What, no fight back?" he scoffs. "No threat?"

Her silence doesn't calm him, it pushes him to snap.

"So, you killed a couple vampires. No big deal. Don't pretend like you didn't enjoy every single second of it. Embrace it. Own it. It's who you are, just in case you've forgotten. You're a hunter."

"I haven't forgotten a thing." she responds loudly.

His frown only deepens, and more anger fills his eyes.

"You know what I don't get is...Why you're so guilty over these five deaths, hm? Five deaths. You've killed before, haven't you? Of course you have, otherwise you'd have no mark - but you have a mark, and from what I've heard it's a long one, so start embracing who you are and what you've done instead of pretending to be something, or someone, that you are most certainly not."

"And what's that? Who am I pretending to be?"

"Normal. Human. And just another little reminder, Johanna - Trying to forget, and pretending that something didn't happen, doesn't work. Pretending that you're not who you are is a waste of your time, and it's a waste of mine."

* * *

Matt glances up from where he rests to see Johanna entering. He rests comfortably in his bed, tucked in his bed with several blankets covering his body. An immediate grin smiles over his face at the sight of her, and already she can tell that he's feeling better than earlier.

"How are you feeling?" she carries a tray in her hands.

"Fine, it's just an off day." he answers.

"Because of the rain."

She stretches out and shuts the door behind her with her foot, before turning to him and crossing the room to his side. Once next to him, she sets the tray down on the stand next to his bed and turns the lamp on.

"So, your choices are - soap, toast, and a hot chocolate with some marshmallows which smells great." she announces, taking a seat on the bed next to him. "If you need anything else, call out. I won't mind."

Matt swallows tightly. "You didn't have to go to all of this trouble, Johanna. Really, I'm not even sick. I'm just a bit tired, and cold. That's all."

She shakes her head, the kind smile remaining. "It wasn't any trouble. It's just soup and bread."

He returns the smile, but the beginnings of a frown have begun to creep over his face. It seems that now he only realises she's still dressed in the same damp clothes she was running in outside.

"You should change and have a shower. You're making me feel cold, just looking at you."

She agrees. "Only if you eat, and then rest."

He simply nods.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It's just..."

Her gaze is firm and unwavering, and it makes his guilt increase.

The guilt weighs down upon him in his waking moments. He feels guilty that he's lying to her, that they all are, and that she's being used. She could lose her humanity, or worse her life, and he wants to stop her and help her. He wants to help her get the freedom and the life that she deserves.

Matt's lips part like he might tell her, like he might say those words to her, but then he falls silent as he thinks about Jeremy, and how they almost lost him to the curse, and then he thinks about Elena and how she only has Jeremy left. Instead of the truth, Matt choses another life.

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to thank you. For saving my life back at the house." he mumbles quietly. "And for this, it's been a long time since anyone...I don't know. Since anyone took care of me like this. I think the last person that did, was..."

"Alaric?" her voice is softer.

He nods once. "Yeah, he was a really good guy."

"He was."

"Like you." Matt continues. "Except, you're not a good guy. What I meant, is that you're a good person like he was. Not a guy, because clearly you're not a guy. As far as I-"

Her sweet laughter causes him to fall silent.

"I know what you meant, Matt." she stands from the bed. "Eat up, rest, and if you need anything you better call out."

"Okay." he smiles easily, but the guilt still lingers beneath the surface.

After taking a short and refreshing shower, which warms her up, Johanna changes into a long brown shirt, a black sweater and dark brown pants. She brushes out her curly, wet hair and pulls it back. On her way downstairs, she quietly pushes open the door to Matt's bedroom and steps inside to find him resting peacefully and snoring loudly. She smiles and turns away, shutting the door behind her.

A thought crosses through her mind, and she quickly moves to Jeremy's room and checks inside to find that he is also peacefully asleep on his bed with the bowl she'd carried up to him still in his lap. She steps inside, picks up the bowl and then reaches for the blanket at the end of the bed. After pulling the blanket up over his body, she switches out the lamp by his bedside and leaves him to rest.

The entire house is silent when she ventures downstairs, finding Damon resting against the sink with a bottle of whiskey in his right hand and a glass in his left hand. He raises his eyebrows at the sight of her, like he wasn't expecting her to come downstairs again, but says nothing. Damon silently observes her.

"You hungry?" she breaks the obvious and heavy silence.

He scoffs. "Vampires don't really need to eat."

"Okay." she turns to him. "So, why do you drink, then? If you don't need to."

"I could ask you the same question." he retorts.

She bites down on her bottom lip.

Damon's eyes rest on her, watching as she walks closer towards him.

"We could hold our answers, bite our tongues, but at the end of the day we both know why we drink and it's probably for the same reason."

He drinks to try to forget, to ease the pain, but he'd never tell her that.

She seems curious. "And what reason would that be, Damon?"

Damon shrugs and lies. "Boredom."

"I don't drink for boredom."

"Oh, yeah, that's right!" he exclaims. "You drink because of an unwavering guilt, and a heavy burden, which rests heavily upon your scarred and damaged shoulders. Right? You're not the only one with a story, Johanna, so if you were fishing for sympathy you're not going to catch anything."

For a minute he looks pleased, finding that she is almost at a loss for words.

"What are you still doing here?" her voice lifts. "Why are you here if you're bored?"

"Oh, yeah, like I'm going to leave them with you."

"I'm not unstable, Damon." she says confidently, clearly remembering his earlier words.

"No, no, you're right. You're just...How should I put this? Hmm. I find you untrustworthy."

"I've been honest about my intentions from the start."

He waves a finger at her. "Honesty doesn't necessitate trust."

"Damon-"

"You've been honest, yes?" he continues. "But can we trust you? No, I don't think so. Personally, I don't need anyone else to trust."

"That bad of an experience?" she lifts an eyebrow. "Did someone break your tru-"

"No, I just don't waste my time with mundane emotions like trust. Not with people I don't need."

He catches an expression flickering over her face, and he can't help but inch closer.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what?" he nearly growls. "Say it."

"You said that trust was a mundane emotion. Well, what about your rage? Or the thrill that you get from the chase, or the attack?" she asks slowly. "You get off on mundane emotions that you supposedly have no time for. All vampires do."

"You have such a rage inside of you when it comes to vampires, don't you?" he seems pleased.

And she knows now that he's trying to evoke a reaction out of her. He wants to push her to break, to snap, so instead of giving him exactly what he wants she stands her ground against him.

"What was it...A friend attacked by a vampire? Or were you attacked? Because you really hate us, more than any hunter I've ever met." he smirks.

"My experiences haven't been pleasant."

She tries not to sound weak, but her voice comes out much quieter than she'd intended it to.

"Maybe a family member?" Damon continues loudly, eyeing her off.

"I thought Ric told you everything."

His body turns rigid and for a moment there is nothing but silence.

"He didn't talk about you, and we don't talk about him." he nearly hisses. "_You_ don't get to talk about him."

Bitterness drips off of his words, and a thick hatred wells in his eyes.

"Excuse me?" she frowns deeply.

Johanna can't believe his words. She can't believe that he's telling her she can't speak about her own brother.

"I said that you don't get to talk about him. It's quite simple to understand, actually. You don't get to say his name. You don't get to talk about him and we never chat about him."

"He was _my_ brother."

"Oh, come on!" he groans. "I'm tired of this. No one is asking you to play the devoted sister, besides it's not fooling anyone."

"I loved him, and I don't care what you think. He was my brother."

"That you hardly knew!" he shouts, his voice ringing through the air. "You were never around. You didn't know about his life here, you didn't even know he was here. Did you?! If you'd never come here, you wouldn't know he died. Now I'm certainly not an expert in love, it sucks and it's unfair and someone always ends up getting hurt, but I wouldn't call that love. You hurt him, and you left him behind. That isn't love, and then after his death you come back acting like you gave a crap when you never really did."

Johanna swallows tightly, attempting to focus on something, anything else, other than the pain she feels surging through her body. Her eyes burn with tears and her heart pounds heavily in her chest.

"You don't know anything about me." she manages to get out.

Her voice is raw and significantly quieter, but he doesn't care about how vulnerable she sounds.

"Oh, I think I know enough."

She shakes her head. "You don't, Damon, you really don't."

But Damon, like always, thinks that he's right. He thinks that he knows everything about her, and her past, and he thinks he knows what she's done. He has no idea.

"I know you like to drink a little too much, and that you've been trained. I know you abandoned your brother when he needed you the most, and that the only reason you're here is because you're trying to atone for all of the bad things that you've done." he says loudly, taking a step towards her.

"Well, let me tell you something, Johanna. You don't get that, and you don't deserve it. You don't get to atone for your past, or for your mistakes, and you sure as hell don't get to atone for abandoning the only person that probably ever gave a crap about you. You know, what I don't get is why the hell you're still here?! Your brother is dead. Alaric is dead, and he isn't coming back for you. He's never coming back at all."

He watches as she draws in a sharp breath of air, her hands shaking by her sides.

Still, he continues. "This whole little thing that you're doing here, your 'friendship' with Matt and Jeremy is pathetic. It reeks of desperation, Johanna. You're desperately searching for a substitute for a brother who you couldn't give a damn about when he was alive."

A sudden voice from the staircase causes Damon to spin around.

"Damon, stop." Jeremy says sharply, quickly moving down the stairs.

After a quick eye roll, Damon turns back to Johanna.

Unbeknown to those who cannot see him, Alaric has already walked down the staircase. He stands at the bottom of it, his eyes set firmly on his best friend before turning to his sister. He appeared in Jeremy's room only moments earlier and had found his way downstairs, beside Jeremy, after hearing Damon's loud voice echoing through the room.

"Jeremy." Alaric's voice is quieter. "Tell him to stop."

"Damon-"

"You are where you are as a result of your actions and solely your own actions. Not his actions. If you really had wanted to see him again, and I mean if you actually gave a crap, then you would have come sooner." he shouts viciously. "But you didn't and you only miss him because he's gone, and all of this substituting won't work. Your attempts at atoning and finding forgiveness will_ never _work because the blood will stay with you always. It stains you, and it is etched into your bones and you heart, and there is no solution. There is no salvation, and there is no cure!"

"Jeremy!" Alaric turns to him. "Make him stop. Tell him to stop it, now."

"Damon-" Jeremy tries again.

"Oh, come on." he sighs, rolling his eyes again. "Don't pretend that you weren't think the exact same thing, Jeremy. And don't pretend that you weren't substituting her for the hole that her brother left in your life and on your couch-"

"Make him stop!" Alaric shouts.

"Damon!" Jeremy shouts, so loudly and filled with such anger that it does cause him to stop. "Alaric wants you to stop."

Damon breathes inwards. "What do you just say to me?"

After an initial moment of hesitation, Jeremy speaks.

"He's here."

"Tell him that I know he's hurting." Alaric takes a step closer. "But this isn't the way to feel better."

"He said that he knows you're hurting, but this isn't the way to feel better."

In a matter of seconds Damon's face contorts into an expression of insufferable pain and great anger, but these emotions only linger for a moment. Soon enough they are gone, and all shreds of emotion have vanished from his face.

"What the hell would he know about feeling better?" he snaps back. "He's dead."

"I still feel."

"Ric says he still feels-"

"You're lying! He's not there." the venom returns to his voice.

"Tell him I said forty-nine." Alaric instructs softly, his eyes still resting on the shadow of the man who was his best-friend.

"I don't know if this is some sick joke, but he's not here!" Damon shouts angrily.

Jeremy's voice is almost a whisper. "Forty-nine."

Damon halts noticeably, his eyes settling on a spot on the floor.

"Tell Damon that I said I'm sorry for leaving, I didn't want to."

"He's sorry for leaving. He never wanted to." Jeremy repeats.

On the outside, it appears that Damon is untouched by these words. He believes they aren't meant for him, but for Johanna who hasn't flinched or moved an inch from where she stands with her eyes resting on a nail in the floorboards.

Jeremy pauses. "He's talking to you, Damon."

"Tell him I know it's hard, and I miss him."

"He knows it's hard, and he misses you."

Alaric takes a step towards Johanna.

"And her." his voice softer.

"Tell him that I know it's hard...And I miss him." Alaric says.

"How did he get here?" she asks, her eyes on the floor still.

"I don't know. All I know is, I was thinking of you and I guess Jeremy was thinking of me, channelling me." Alaric answers her.

"He doesn't know how or why. He was thinking of you, Johanna. Then he came here. Ric thinks I was channelling him."

Damon looks up. "You can do that?"

Jeremy repeatedly shakes his head. "No, I can't. I don't know how it works, and I can't control it."

"Can I speak to her?" Ric asks. "Alone. There are things..."

"He wants to speak with Johanna alone."

Damon scoffs. "Well, considering the last time I checked I was still a vampire, privacy is sort of non-existent. You know, the whole super hearing thing. I'll hear you if I'm upstairs, and outside, and I don't really want to go out there in the rain."

"Fine."

"He said it's fine." Jeremy answers.

For a moment Alaric remains silent. He studies Johanna's face, her hair and her eyes. He misses her so much. It causes him such pain to think of her, and how they were apart for so many years. It causes him such grief and misery to think about how he misses all of his friends, and how he took them and his life for granted.

Alaric misses living.

He misses being a live, with the people that he loved.

"I'm sorry for what I said, and for pushing you away." Alaric finally speaks, words he should have said sooner.

"What's going on?" Matt asks sleepily from the staircase.

He'd woken minutes earlier and had stumbled into an incredibly tense scene.

"Shut it, prom king." Damon warns.

"Alaric wants you to know that he's sorry for what he said, and for pushing you away-"

"No." she snaps.

Her eyes dart up towards Jeremy's.

"No apologies." she shakes her head.

Alaric inches closer. "I have to say it, and you have to hear it. You have a good heart, Annie. You don't deserve to live with this guilt, it isn't yours."

"He said that you have a good heart, and you don't deserve to live with the guilt that isn't yours." Jeremy repeats quietly.

Her body shakes. "No, you're wrong. I'm a bad person, incapable of change or anything good. I deserve the guilt and everything else that accompanies it. I don't deserve forgiveness, or atonement."

The guilt tastes bitter as it rises in Damon's throat. He watches her as she moves quickly towards the door.

"Jeremy, please. Don't let her leave, please." Alaric begs, trying but failing to stop her himself.

His hand falls through the air where hers rests by her side.

Jeremy steps quickly towards the door, blocking her path. He holds his hands up in the air, and wears a sympathetic expression on his face.

"Ric wants you to stay. He doesn't want you to leave." he says quietly.

Damon catches the words and breathes inwards, his eyes resting still on the two of then.

"When we were children, Ric, this is so not how I thought things would be. I mean, I didn't think our lives would be _that_ good but I didn't think they'd be _this_ bad. I thought they'd improve, maybe, but they didn't. I didn't think you'd be dead this young, or that-that this would be our reunion when I can't even see you." she stammers loudly. "I just...I need you to know that I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I hurt you, and that I didn't search for you or hold on tighter because we were all each other ever had. But you couldn't count on me and I'm sorry. You always deserved better."

She brushes past Jeremy, and past the brother who she can't see with her own eyes, and flees outside into the heavy, cold rain.

Silence falls over them as Jeremy turns towards Alaric, who stands in the same spot with the palms of his hands pressed against his face. He lowers his hands, showing the remnants of fallen tears.

"Where is he?" Damon breaks the silence.

Jeremy doesn't answer.

Damon's impatience grows. "Where is he? Is he gone? What's he saying?"

"Nothing."

Alaric sighs heavily. "Go after her, please. Someone, go. I don't want her to be alone."

He glances at Damon. "Ric said for someone to go after her."

Damon angrily volunteers. "I'll go!"

He finds her in seconds, because she wasn't moving quickly and the rain falling into her vision, momentarily blinding her, had slowed her down. In seconds, Damon appears in front of her. She halts immediately, her eyes widening as she tries to back away from him.

"Stay away from me!" she shouts.

His hands to the sides of her shoulders, and he grips her tightly.

She struggles under his strong grip. "Leave me alone."

"You can't run away from everything. It might seem like a solution, but it's not." he shouts over the rain.

Johanna continues to struggle underneath his grip. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Let go of me!"

He appears shocked. "Me?!"

"There's something wrong with you!" she shouts, and hits him in the chest to try and break free.

It doesn't work.

"Something wrong with me?!" Damon almost growls. "Well, if it isn't the crazy, unstable, vampire-hunting-pot calling the kettle black!"

"Let me go!"

"No," Damon replies firmly, unknowingly marking her skin with bruises. "Your brother is asking for you, for some reason-"

She breaks free of Damon's grip finally, momentarily leaving him confused as her hands slide softly down his neck.

"No, Damon." she bursts with anger. "My brother is dead."

In a swift, clean and effortless movement she twists and breaks his neck leaving him dead on the muddy ground.

* * *

**A/N: Hi! Thanks for reading my story, and here's the latest chapter I hope you like. I know this chapter was a little slow, and had a lot of Jamon angst (ship name courtesy to SophStratt who thought of it :P I think it's pretty cool ) but the next chapters a good one for these two. They have a conversation that doesn't end with someone's neck being snapped, or someone being staked. I can't wait for you to read it. The reason why Damon dislikes her so much now (on top of her being a reminder of Ric) will be revealed in an upcoming chapter.**

**Also, I just wanted to say that even though it might seem like it (after this chapter) this isn't a Delena story. It is definitely a Damon & Johanna story, and will probably end up with Stelena paired aswell. I just wanted to clear it up, and also say that I know things are moving pretty slow between Johanna and Damon right now and it definitely doesn't seem like they'd be together, let alone friends, but they'll get there and I can't wait for you guys to read it because I've got some cool stuff planned.. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!**

**Oh, and sorry for any spelling errors I missed (I wrote this one a little late at night) and if you find any please let me know, and if there's anything you'd like to see (read) in the future please let me know. I'd be more than happy to read all/any thoughts, or whatever, and try to incorporate it.**

**A special thanks to SophStratt, lilsis321, Alsynea, Sabine Christensen and flazzy Cullen ****for their kind reviews. :)**

**X**


	15. Hard souls to save

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_He doesn't want to feel, he wanted to be hated._

A loud groan passes through Damon's lips as his heavy eyes open slowly. A sharp, familiar pain throbs in his neck and he rubs at it. He straightens himself upwards, and looks up to find that he's inside now. Elena, Jeremy and Matt sit before him with their arms folded. They rest on the couch, all three wearing identical frowns.

"Shows over kiddies, go back to bed." Damon growls.

"What happened, Damon?" Elena asks, standing slowly.

He groans and sits upright. "My neck was snapped..."

"Not with you." she says quickly. "I meant, what happened with Johanna."

His irritation grows. "I'm fine, Elena, thanks for the concern. It's touching."

"Where is she, Damon?" Jeremy asks.

Damon shakes his head. "Where is he?"

"Gone, he left after she did."

Matt stands from his seat, joining Elena's side. He looks down at Damon, an angered expression resting beneath the surface of his expression.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know." Damon snaps. "I don't know if you noticed, or if anyone cares, but she snapped by neck. So, it was a little hard to keep track of her whereabouts while I was momentarily dead."

"She's getting better." Matt adds in, almost looking proud.

Damon shoots him a deadly glare. "So, what? What does snapping my neck achieve? It didn't kill me. Not permanently, so no she's not getting better. Not really."

"We have to find her." Jeremy stands, stepping towards the door.

"I say good riddance." Damon turns his back on them, walking away slowly.

Elena quickly joins his side, her eyes darting up to lock with his. "No, you don't, Damon. You don't mean that. You don't hate her, not really."

"I don't think you're qualified to tell me who I do or don't hate, and what I do or don't mean." Damon snaps back.

"Damon, come on." Elena says gently. "You know you don't hate her, not really. You only think that you do because of Ric, but you don't. You're confused, and that's okay. I get it. You shouldn't act like this because it's not fair. And you know what we really shouldn't do? We shouldn't leave her out there all alone, it isn't fair."

"Yeah, well, life isn't fair." he answers sharply. "We get used to it. We get over it and move on."

* * *

Johanna's feet drag her forward for miles and miles, until she is so far away from the lake house, and from Damon, that she can find nothing remotely familiar around here. Even then, she continues to run until she doesn't feel anything but the rain that falls icily down her body. In the beginning, the rain left her feeling refreshed and cool. Now it leaves her feeling numb.

She continues to run because she doesn't want to return, she doesn't have anything to go back to. She wants to see Alaric, and be with him. She needs to hear his voice, hear his laugh, and see his smile but she never will again. Being with him is as unattainable as freedom. She's a bird kept down by broken wings that have never been fixed. There's no permanent way out. There's only a momentary escape, and that's what this is.

Her shoes slip on the muddy paths, and she falls and hits the group. The rain falls heavily, and causes her clothes to stick to her body and leave her shivering heavily. Her body drips with water, her face turns whiter and her skins become pale. She almost regrets leaving, but then flashes of Damon return to her and she doesn't regret a thing. If anything, thinking of him pushes her to run faster.

She feels sick, but at the same time she feels numb. What lies behind her threatens to chase after her, and what stands before her is uncertain, but she'll take uncertainty over Damon Salvatore, and his cruel words, any day.

Flashes return to her. His words, and then Jeremy's, and then she sees a picture of Alaric guiding her into their room. He'd helped her fit underneath their bed, taken her hands in his, and they'd buried their heads into the ground while they curled up underneath a torn, dirty blanket. Muffled sobs had passed her lips while he held her, tried to soothe her, while they waited for the screaming, and the shouting, and the terribly cruel words to stop.

But they never stopped, not permanently.

It consumed them.

Johanna reaches the only place she feels close to her brother sometime later. She doesn't take notice of the time, but instead notices that the sky that hangs heavily above her is darker. But the rain has ceased, and for that much she is glad. She feels shaky and cold from the rain. Her breathing is deep, and shallow, and she needs something to drink because she's been running for what feels like hours.

She's been running for most of her life.

Johanna drags her feet towards his grave, but soon finds that she isn't alone. There's someone already at his grave - she recognises the face, and it surprises her.

"You're back." she frowns. "Why are you at my brother's grave?"

Cedric briefly glances up from where he kneels beside Alaric's grave. He half smiles, and straightens up.

"Taking care of the weeds."

She takes a step in his direction. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Didn't your parents teach you not to talk to strangers?" he lifts an eyebrow. "Especially at this time of night, hm?"

She shrugs slightly. "No, they didn't. I didn't have any parents."

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm not."

"It sounds like you need a drink, and from the looks of things some dry clothes too. While I do doubt that I have any clothes your exact size, I do have a coat in the car which is quite warm. I'll get it for you, if you like?"

"You don't have to do that."

"It's fine."

Cedric disappears from her sight minutes later, trudging back through the weeds and mud towards his car. Once he has left, she pauses before kneeling down on shaky and dirty legs. She kneels down next to Alaric's grave, and sees that a bunch of flowers have been placed down next to his grave. They're oddly familiar. She almost recognises them, almost remembers where she's seen them before.

The flowers are small, blue and white. The image of them, and their colours, spark something in her memory but she can't quite remember where and soon decides that she's probably passed them by somewhere in her life. The sound of nearing footsteps alert her that she's not alone anymore, and assuming that it's Cedric she speaks up.

"You find any whiskey?"

"No." Matt answers. "But I found you."

After registering the voice, and realising it belongs to Matt, her body stiffens up and she stands immediately. Her hands fall to her sides, and she glances up at him.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, an unintended harshness to her voice. "You shouldn't be up, you should be resting."

"We've been looking for you." he takes a step in her direction.

She doesn't move.

"Why?"

"Why? How could you ask that?" he frowns, disbelief filling his soft eyes. "After everything that happened, we were worried."

Her eyes narrow in on him. "What do you mean, after everything that happened?"

Matt's frown deepens, and he takes another step closer. "With you and Ric."

She'd almost forgotten he was there.

"You know that he's right, don't you?" she asks.

He doesn't understand, this much is clear from his expression.

"Damon's right about us, we're probably just so screwed up that we're using each other as substitutes. I don't need friends, Matt, I've survived without them. And you sure as hell don't need a friend like me."

"A friend _like_ you? What does that even mean?"

"What it means is that I'm not good for anyone, especially not someone like you."

Cedric halts when he returns to Johanna, finding that she isn't alone anymore.

"I found the coat, and some whiskey." he glances between the two.

Matt's frown deepens, if possible. "Who is this?"

Cedric stands awkwardly between the two. "A friend? I think. Or an acquaintance? I don't know. I don't like to be presumptuous."

"I thought you didn't need any friends?" Matt's voice echoes with an obvious anger.

"Matt."

Matt speaks up quickly, cutting her off.

"I thought, after everything we've been through, that we'd at least be friends."

"You thought after I saved your life, that would make us friends? Well, it doesn't. I was just doing what was right, what anyone else should or would have done. We aren't friends, because you deserve better than anything that I could ever offer you."

"You know, I'm getting sick of hearing that. I'm pretty sure that I'm capable of determining what I do or don't deserve."

A tense, thick silence follows but is soon broken by Matt.

"Come with me."

Johanna remains still and completely silent.

"Please, just come with me. Give me one hour, that's all I need?"

"Why?" she frowns still.

"Please."

"Fine."

"Another time, then." Cedric smiles pleasantly, before extending the coat to her.

She takes it cautiously, slowly meeting his gaze as she does. "Thank you."

He nods and half smiles. "Anytime, Johanna."

After leading her to his truck, she slides in reluctantly and they drive mostly in silence into town. She wasn't expecting him to drive her back to the lake house just yet, but she wasn't expecting him to drive her back to his place. The house is empty, and locked up, when they arrive. He promises her that they're alone, before he gets out of the truck and opens up the garage so she may retrieve some fresh clothes and pull out anything that she needs.

Once she's finished, Johanna closes up the garage and moves inside where she assumes Matt is. She finds him in the kitchen, searching for something. After eyeing him off silently for a minute, she speaks up.

"Why am I here?"

He cranes his neck back to look at her. "You should have a shower, and change. You look freezing."

She lifts an eyebrow. "Really?"

"What?"

"You have an hour, and this is how you want me to spend it."

"Yeah.." he nods. "Go have a shower."

Johanna leaves eventually, following the familiar pathway down towards the bathroom. Once inside, she enters and strips off all of her clothes and jewelery before stepping underneath the shower head and turning the water off. First the water is cold and icy. It's cool, and sinks into her skin, and for a flickering second it's almost refreshing but she soon finds herself craving the warmth that the heat provides. Seconds later she's basking in the warmth, relaxing underneath it, and enjoying the droplets which fall on her and soak into her skin.

After showering, washing her hair and body, she steps out and dries herself with a thick, warm towel before dressing in a pair of worn denim jeans, a plain green shirt with long sleeves and buttons running down the middle and a pair of old brown boots. Next, Johanna brushes out her hair and pulls it back before packing up her jewellery into her bag and stepping outside.

Silence greets her.

"Matt?"

The kitchen is empty when she enters it. Her eyes skim over the room, briefly moving towards the empty and dimly lit living room, before a loud knocking on the door causes her to spin around. Her first, and only, thoughts are that it's Matt knocking on the door. She believes perhaps he's locked himself outside, so she crosses the room towards the door, twists the handle and opens it without any hesitation.

Damon stands on the opposite side, looking irritated and slightly damp from the rain.

"Surprised to see me up so soon?" he breaks the heavy silence.

Blue eyes flicker over her, leaving her feel exposed. She tucks her arms around her stomach, and meets his strong gaze.

"Must be, you know, the eternal existence vampire thing that allows me to recover so quickly from death. However, the recoveries aren't exactly pain free and that, back at the lake house, hurt like a bitch."

"If you're expecting an apology, you're not getting one." she stands her ground.

Damon's attention is quickly drawn towards Matt, who has just entered the kitchen. He joins Johanna's side silently, his eyes firmly settled on Damon as he does.

"You going to let me in, prom king?"

Johanna shoots Matt an icy glare. "Is this why you asked me here?! So you could invite Damon inside?!"

"No." Matt stops her quickly. "I did it against my better judgement. It wasn't my idea, it was Elena's. She's waiting outside, with Jeremy."

For a brief second, Matt hesitates before he inches closer and settles a gentle, reassuring hand against her shoulder. She keeps her eyes locked with his as he breaks away, and moves towards the doorway.

"I'll be there if you need me."

She shakes her head. "If you leave me alone with him, I might kill him."

Damon scoffs. "Forgetting how ridiculous the idea of you killing me sounds, I'd have to be invited in first."

"Yeah," Matt sighs, stepping outside. "I'm not going to do that."

"What?!"

"That was never part of the deal, Damon." Matt shrugs. "You stand outside, she stands inside. You talk it out, or whatever, and no one dies."

Damon rolls his eyes and looks away from Matt, who soon disappears from their view. Soon, all that stands between them is an invisible barrier and silence. After an initial moment of hesitation, Damon lifts his eyes up and slowly meets her gaze once more.

He smacks his lips together. "Well, this is awkward."

She gives him more silence.

"You know, even if you'd wanted to kill me you couldn't. You'd need a stake to do that, and if I recall correctly you left those at the lake house after you snapped my neck."

Johanna takes an obvious step closer.

"You staked me."

He shrugs. "Want to call it even?"

Her silence gives him his answer.

"Or not..."

"Why are you here?" she asks.

Damon pauses. "Want the truth?"

Johanna nods once.

"I have no clue, Johanna. Somehow I got roped into it by those three out there. Honestly, I have no freakin' idea. And I'll just say that I hope you're not expecting an apology, because you will be sorely disappointed. I also hope you're also not expecting me to get down on my knees for you, and plead for you to come back because that-"

"I'm not." she stops him. "I don't want anything from you."

For some reason, that hurts him more than he thought it would.

"Good." he nods curtly. "I don't expect anything of you and you don't want anything from me. I'd call that an understanding, wouldn't you?"

Damon turns on his heels and moves to walk away, because he thinks that the conversation is over, but then he stops and glances back at her. His eyes unintentionally, and noticeably, linger on hers. He feels uncomfortable.

"Look..." Damon sighs, sounding slightly annoyed. "What I said..."

"I don't want-"

"I'm not giving you a damn apology, I've got nothing to say sorry for." he snaps, pausing after. "But, uh...I probably could have handled the situation a lot better. But, saying that, I'm sick of the act."

"There's no act, Damon." she answers quickly. "And just so we're clear, my past is my own - not yours. It has nothing to do with you."

He nods once. "If you come back to the cabin, I won't pry.."

"I'm not coming back."

"What? Why?" a sigh passes through his lips. "If you come back, I'll quit asking about your past."

She doesn't give in. "As appealing as _that_ sounds, I'm not going back."

Damon's voice rises unintentionally.

"Are you kidding me?! You killed me but I still come back, offering you a truce, and you say no?!"

"It's simple, Damon. I don't want to be there."

"Why?" he frowns.

She notices now that his irritation with this conversation, and his inability to step inside, is getting to him.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"No." she sighs. "But clearly, I make you uncomfortable."

Damon understands it even if she doesn't say the words, he knows exactly what she's thinking. She thinks that she makes him uncomfortable because she's a reminder of Ric, and she's right.

He ignores her words. "No, you're not doing this again."

"What?"

"You heard me." he snaps back. "I said that you're not doing this again, and don't think I don't know what this is."

"I don't understand what you're saying."

He fights the urge to roll his eyes.

"Come on! After your first little encounter with Ric, you tried to drown yourself. I know what this is, and what you're doing. You don't care if you train, or if you survive. You don't want to defend yourself, you don't care if you live or die because you don't think you're important."

She exhales heavily, running her fingers over her creased forehead.

"I'm tired, Damon."

He scoffs. "I've been tired for over a century, Johanna. Get over it. You learn to live with it."

But Damon knows the truth, even if he doesn't say it; you don't learn to live with it. It becomes a part of you, and not a good part. The exhaustion consumes you and weighs down on you. It takes its toll on your mind, and your body, and it never leaves you. It lingers always, just like the guilt and the memories, never leaving or easing up.

"There's something wrong with you. You know that, don't you?" she says suddenly.

Damon lifts his hand to his heart, pretending that she's hurt him.

"Ooh, that hurt. That wasn't a very nice thing to say."

"I mean it."

"Care to explain?" he sounds bored already.

"You drove me away from the cabin, Damon. It's what you wanted, but now you're here trying to get me to return." the wariness rings off her voice. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Don't expect some heartfelt, emotional reason behind it all. There's nothing behind it at all." his voice becomes colder. "It's actually quite simple - those three out there have formed attachments to you, god knows why. They care for you, and like you, which is a pretty hard thing to do coming from my own personal experience."

She shoots him a look, but he ignores it and continues.

"Don't ask me why they do. I don't understand for it, and I don't care for it. So, incredibly long story which could have been sent in an email, they want you to train. They want me to train you, so you can defend yourself against the big bad wolf. Or, in this case, the big, bad blood-sucking vampire."

Johanna takes a step closer, eyeing him off cautiously as she does.

"Just so we're clear, this means nothing." she says.

He throws his hands up in the air. "Now we're on the same page! I really couldn't agree more."

"There are no feelings involved. No emotions. Only training."

"No feelings, only training." he repeats.

She pauses. "No more mentioning of-"

"No unnecessary words or neck snapping. Only training." he says, before extending his hand from where he stands outside the door.

Her feet lead her closer.

Damon's eyes take in every moment, every breath, until she reaches him and locks her eyes with his.

"Only training." his voice is softer. "No feeling."

She takes his hand, and shakes it slowly. "I don't feel anything."

Damon swallows tightly, still holding her hand. "Good."

* * *

After returning to the lake house with Damon, who was surprisingly quiet on the ride over, Johanna first moves down towards the lake and only stops when she reaches the wooden railings. She pauses, before passing them and moving towards the edge. The water is soft, and cool, and she finds a sense of calm out here in the silence that floats around her.

Matt's voice breaks through to her sometime later.

"I thought I might find you out here.

"I didn't think you'd come looking." she answers without turning back.

He sighs softly, joining her side. "Why not?"

"Matt."

She turns to him finally.

"Don't." he's quick to answer. "You don't have to say anything."

"But I do, so let me say it. Okay?"

Matt simply nods, his light eyes settled on her as he waits for her to speak.

"I didn't mean what I said before. Okay? Well, I did..There were parts of it I meant, but I didn't mean the part about us not being friends." she sighs shakily, half smiling. "I mean, I want to be if you do?"

After hearing the vulnerability in her voice, the guilt swallows him up.

"I kind of thought we already were."

"We were - No, we are." she nods.

Matt breaks out in a wild, big grin. "You sure about that? You keep changing your mind, and I'm losing track."

Johanna smiles easily. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sorry."

"You know, you were wrong about something else. You said we were screwed up, that we were using each other as substitutes, but we aren't. Well, we're not that screwed up and we aren't using each other. You're not a substitute for my sister, and I'm not one for your brother. No one can, or will, ever replace them. You're my friend because I need one, and I'm pretty sure you need one too."

She swallows tightly, the smile on her face becoming smaller.

"You said, 'someone like me'. What does that even mean?" he asks.

"It means that you've got a great heart, Matt." she draws in a sharp breath of air. "One of the kindest I've ever seen. You deserve the best, you deserve everything in this life."

His smile returns. "So do you."

"See, there you go being kind again."

"I'm being honest."

"Mm." she murmurs, still watching him closely.

"You're good, Johanna." he says finally.

Matt catches an immediate disbelief in her eyes.

"You might not think you are, you might think you've done some bad things, but I think you're good. I see it, you saved my life. If it weren't for you, I'd be dead."

She tries to fight it. "If I wasn't around you, you wouldn't-"

He cuts over her. "You can't spend your life thinking about what if, and what could have been. You just have to live with what you have now because if you think about what you lost, what you could have had...Those thoughts are powerful, they're too dangerous."

"Since when did you become so wise?" she grins.

He shrugs. "I've always been this wise. And, uh...I know that you think that you're not good, you think that you don't want to feel, or let yourself trust but you're wrong. You are good. And I know feeling things sucks a lot, especially when you open yourself up and you get shut down, but not trusting and not feeling will destroy you quicker."

After sharing a brief, silent look Matt takes a step closer and wraps his arms around her slightly. He embraces her tightly, pressing his hands against her back. Seconds later he feels her hands press softly against his back. And then suddenly it's like she decides that she wants to be closer, and she wants to feel things, so she grips him tighter.

"Whenever you doubt yourself just think about all the good that you've done," he whispers in her ear. "No matter how big, or small, think about it and remember it because you are good. I believe it, now you just need to believe it too."

* * *

Damon rests in an armchair in the parlor, darkness surrounding him and half a bottle of whiskey in his hands. The sound of nearing footsteps alert him that someone upstairs is awake, and without glancing at them as they move down the staircase he knows who it is.

"What do you want, Little Gilbert?"

"I don't want anything."

Damon frowns, but doesn't think it means anything. He takes another sip of his whiskey, ignoring Jeremy who walks through the kitchen and steps towards the parlor silently.

"Alaric does." Jeremy says finally.

These words cause Damon to nearly choke on the liquid as it goes down his throat. He clears his throat and releases a loud, obvious sigh.

"Ric, again? Really?" he sounds disbelieving. "Again?"

Jeremy nods, and takes a seat down across from Damon. He knows that Damon's had a lot to drink, and now probably isn't the best time to talk to him, but Jeremy can't ignore Alaric and what he wants.

"I don't know why I come here, sometimes I just do." Alaric says quietly.

"He said he doesn't know why he comes here, he just does sometimes." Jeremy repeats.

Damon briefly glances up at Jeremy. "Look, this might feel a little less crazy if you point me in the direct of where he is?"

Jeremy gestures towards the armchair in which Alaric is seated in, to the right of Damon's.

There is an obvious minute of hesitation before Damon finds the words to speak again.

"If this is about before.."

"He said it's not." Jeremy says quickly.

Damon eyes Jeremy off suspiciously, before taking another sip of whiskey.

"I thought you were cutting back." Alaric sighs.

Jeremy repeats this, causing Damon to snort with disbelief.

"Trust me, Ric, if you were in my position..." he swallows another mouthful. "I mean..With the training, and the babysitting. Racing to the find the cure. You know, I'm pretty sure I deserve this and don't need to be told otherwise by a dead guy."

Alaric's eyes remain firmly settled on Damon. "I want to talk about her."

"He wants to talk about her."

Damon's brow creases. "Who?"

"Annie."

Jeremy pauses. "Annie...Johanna-"

"I know who Annie is." Damon snaps. "And I thought that this wasn't about that?"

"It's not. I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you, Damon, for how you're trying to take care of everyone. You stepped up."

Damon sighs loudly with frustration after a minute of silence passes.

"What did he say?"

"He said he's proud of you, for how you're trying to take care of everyone. You stepped up." Jeremy answers.

"What the hell was I supposed to do? You were gone." Damon retorts quickly. "Wait, let me guess. You want me to step up and take care of her? Not gonna happen, Ric. She's quite capable of taking care of herself, and I don't need someone else to look after."

"I'm not asking you that."

"He's not asking you that."

An immediate frown crosses Damon's tired features. "You're not?"

"No, I'm not. All I'm asking is that you take it easy on her, Damon. Her life hasn't been easy."

"Ric's asking if you can take it easy on her, Damon." Jeremy pauses. "He said her life hasn't been easy."

Damon mumbles lightly under his breath. "Preaching to the choir."

"Damon."

Jeremy repeats it, causing Damon to rolls his eyes.

"Look, Ric, I don't understand this. Okay? You didn't speak about her. I don't understand why you care."

"I care because she's family, because she was always my family even when we were apart." Alaric answers quickly.

"He said he cares because she's family, because even when they were apart she was always family."

Damon swallows another mouthful. "Touching. They should put that in a card."

"Damon, please." Jeremy says, without waiting for Ric's words. "Please."

Damon gives in seconds later. "Fine."

A small smile sweeps over Alaric's face. "You'll take it easy on her?"

"You'll take it easy on her?" Jeremy repeats.

"Sure." Damon answers, shrugging. "I can't give you a guarantee, but I'll try."

Alaric's smile remains. "I owe you one."

"You owe me one." Damon says, without any knowledge of Alaric's words.

It almost makes Jeremy smile, realising now how truly close, and similar, they once were.

"I know I do."

"He says he knows he does." Jeremy says finally.

Damon's icy eyes turn towards the empty arm chair once more. The chair where his best friend sits, but he can't see him. Damon looks at the chair with such vulnerability. For a second, there's real emotion in his face. His eyes are filled with grief, and his expression is stricken with pain. And then it just disappears.

"You have my word, for whatever it's worth. I'll take care of the kids that you left behind." Damon murmurs, standing from the chair with the bottle in his hands.

Alaric smiles sadly, his eyes still settled firmly on his best friend.

"I miss you too, buddy."

* * *

**A/N: Hi! Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this, it means a lot to me. I know this chapter is a little slow, but it was one of my favourite's because the dialogue was fun to write (Damon-humour and attitude, and so on :P ) and it sort of draws the characters a little closer together. Also, I probably enjoyed writing it so much because there was more Ric in it..**

**I'll probably update this story again this week, because I've got a fair bit of writing done and can't wait for you to see what's next. Oh, and I apologise for any spelling errors I may have missed while skimming the work for mistakes. Special thanks to the kind reviewers of chapter 14.**

**Anyway, thanks again and I hope you enjoy. **

**x**


	16. Hearts of stone

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I'm upset, and you know what happens when I'm upset._

Her room is softly lit and chilly as she wakes to it. For the first few seconds she is reluctant to move, because the bed provides a comfortable warmth which allows her to relax. But soon enough she slides out of the bed and pulls on a pair of long, black tights, a blue shirt with sleeves that reach her elbows and a pair of brown boots. After pulling up her hair into a ponytail, she reaches for the door-handle only to have it twisted and opened from the outside.

Damon stands on the opposite side of the door with an expression on his face similar to surprise, like he either didn't expect her to still be here or he didn't expect her to be awake yet. His eyes skim over her briefly, and then he speaks.

"You ready?"

Johanna nods. "Yep."

"Good, let's get started."

After enjoying a quick breakfast downstairs with Matt and Jeremy, she follows them outside and joins Damon down on the training grounds. He greets them with instructions; to run around the lake three times, and then on their return they're to run another three laps. After they have completed their six laps, he instructs that they spar. Damon pairs Johanna with Matt, and spars with Jeremy himself.

Damon overpowers Jeremy a lot, but he fights back and shows the beginnings of a great skill but Damon doesn't dare say this. Instead, he constantly tells Jeremy his flaws and tries to instruct him on where, and how, to improve his skills. Meanwhile, Matt spars heavily with Johanna. At first, he wasn't sure if he'd go easy on her but within the first few seconds he'd realised that she certainly wasn't going easy on him. After knocking each other to the ground a few times, Damon orders a swap and tosses Johanna a wooden stake.

"There. I'm giving you the possible device of my destruction. Use it."

She doesn't hesitate, instead she moves towards him swiftly but before she can get close he knocks her down with ease and darts out of her way. He watches with slight amusement as she pulls herself up from the ground.

"Try again." Damon orders.

She tries again, and again, but he knocks her down quickly. On the fourth try, she gets significantly closer and manages to almost press it to his chest. But he grabs her by the wrists, shoves her to the ground and sighs.

"Get up and try again."

Johanna tries again. He ducks underneath her arm as she lunges forward at him, then he appears behind her and locks his right hand underneath and around her jaw. His left hand pulls back the arm which she holds the stake in, and she can't break free.

"Now," he whispers against her ear. "All that I have to do is apply a little pressure."

He applies a little pressure to her chin, causing a groan to pass her lips.

"And you're gone, that's all it takes."

Then he shoves her to the dirt again, and releases a louder sigh. "Try again."

She darts towards him, but he moves faster because he has the advantage of speed. Damon pins her back by holding her arms behind her back. His hand returns to its previous place, around her chin, and he applies the pressure to it again whispering the same words in her ear. This time, when he releases her from his strong hold, she doesn't wait to hear his words.

Johanna moves forward first. She reclaims the stake from him, slams his body back against the tree, and presses the stake against his chest. She almost looks pleased with herself.

"Just a little pressure, and you're gone." she presses the stake in a little deeper. "That's all it takes."

"Good." Damon says, but he doesn't sound pleased.

He sounds annoyed, bitter almost.

Seconds later, he spins her around and slams her face against the tree. After dragging her arms behind her back, placing them in a painful position, he leans closer and hisses in her ear.

"See, there it is. The very moment that you thought you succeeded, the moment you thought you did good, you let your guard down and if I wanted to I could kill you. Right now. So, the lesson here is: don't be stupid. Never let your guard down."

The training lasts for the rest of the day. It is full on, and intense, but rewarding because their strength, stamina and skill grows because of it. When the sun begins to disappear from the sky, Damon orders three more laps before he disappears, like he usually does at this time of night. After running their three laps, Matt and Jeremy head inside while she decides to go for one more run around the area.

Once Johanna has retired for the night, she steps inside to find Matt and Jeremy playing the X-box. It brings an immediate smile to her face.

"You two eaten yet?" she calls out.

They reply simultaneously. "Nope. Pizza should be here any minute."

The sound of a knocking on the wooden door causes her head to snap towards it. A light haired woman, dressed in a red and black uniform stands there with two pizza boxes in her hands. Johanna sighs and turns back towards the two of them.

"Pizza? Again?" she calls out.

Matt shrugs, keeping his eyes on the screen. "We're hungry. Big day."

Johanna moves slowly towards the door, reaching for the handle as she does. She half smiles as the woman greets her.

"Hi, I got two orders for pizza at this address." she says.

"Sure, just uh..." Johanna pauses, glancing down at her hands.

She hadn't noticed that they were covered in tiny spots of what seemed like blood. Her eyes skim over her own body in search of an answer, and she finds a small cut on her wrist which is scattered with dry blood. She doesn't remember getting it, but soon decides that she probably received it when she was running through the woods.

"Just, come on in and set it down." Johanna says finally, taking a step towards the sink.

Her hands grip the tap, and she turns on the cold water. She slides her wrist underneath the cool, running water until the dried blood on her wrist.

"What did you guys order-" she starts.

But the words don't quite pass her lips.

The pizza delivery girl reaches for the closest weapon she can find; a glass bottle of bourbon left out by Damon, resting on the table. She picks it up, smashes the end of it against the table, and grasps the handle firmly. She raises the bottle and violently smashes it down into Johanna's shoulder. A sharp cry passes her lips as the glass sinks deeply into her skin.

Without hesitating, Johanna spins around and finds that the girl is now bearing her fangs at her. She lunges forward, her teeth brushing against her skin, ready to rip her apart and drain her of her blood.

Johanna's fingers reach for the knife on the sink. She picks it up and stabs it into the vampire's throat, right in the middle, before she bends down and slides the stake out of her boots. With the stake firmly gripped in her hand, she dives forward at the vampire. They struggle briefly, slamming back against the sink before Johanna gets a clear shot; she thrusts the dagger into her chest, pushing it in as far as it can go.

The girl stands for a minute, before her body falls to the floor and begins to shift colour.

Adrenaline pumps through Johanna's veins as she glances up towards the doorway. Damon watches her with his guarded blue eyes.

Matt and Jeremy rush quickly towards her side.

"Whoa, Jo." Matt mumbles quietly. "Are you okay?"

She breathes heavily, her chest heaving in and out as she pushes her hair back off of her face. Blood stains spread over her face, but she takes no notice of them.

"I'm fine." she insists.

"Did you do this?" Jeremy's eyes dart towards Damon.

Damon chooses to ignore him.

"You're-You're bleeding so much." Matt stutters, panicking already.

He steps away in search of clean cloth to press against her skin.

"Way to state the obvious, quarterback." Damon growls.

"Did you do this?" Jeremy repeats, his voice significantly louder.

"No, I didn't." Damon responds.

But the disbelief is clear in Jeremy's eyes.

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't turn every vampire in this town. I can't compel other vampires anyway, so you're pointing those judgmental little Gilbert fingers in the wrong direction."

Matt returns to her side with the cloths in his hands. He presses them against her right shoulder-blade to stop the blood. She smiles thankfully at him.

"Are you okay? Why don't you sit down?" Matt watches her carefully.

"I'm fine," Johanna assures him, not moving an inch. "I got this."

Damon scoffs and lifts an eyebrow. "Really? You got this? I can say, from experience, that it is a bitch getting at wounds that you can't even see."

Her eyes fall slowly down towards the blood stained body on the floor, and for a minute she can't draw her eyes away from them.

"She was compelled, right?" Matt asks.

Damon nods. "Probably to kill, until she was killed."

His eyes are drawn down towards Johanna's, which rest firmly on her arm. He can't see it, but he guesses that her mark has grown a little.

He sighs and speaks up." Sit."

Much to his surprise, Johanna does as he says and sits down at the kitchen table.

"You two, start digging." he orders.

They don't move.

"What?" Matt frowns, keeping the pressure to her wound.

"You heard me, the grave won't dig itself. And look, if you're feeling guilty then don't. She's dead because she was compelled to kill. If you didn't kill her, she would've killed you." Damon says slowly, and then releases a sigh. "Don't worry, it's not like I'm asking you to take care of the body. I'll do that. Just dig the damn grave, you know where shovels are."

Johanna speaks up. "They should stay inside. If there are vampires being compelled, it's not safe for them out there."

He silently considers her words. "Fine, find me a medical kit or something. And clean up this blood."

"I said I got this." she says.

He almost rolls his eyes. "Well, clearly you don't. So, stay put."

Damon bends down and slides his arms underneath the lifeless body. He picks her up off of the floor, and carries it outside before he settles it down against the ground beside where he intends to dig the grave.

Johanna keeps the pressure to her wound with her left hand, remaining still in the chair, while she watches Matt searching for a med kit and Jeremy cleaning the blood from the floor. There wasn't much blood on the floor, compared to what there was in the Gilbert House. Once they have finished, Jeremy and Johanna team up and eventually manage to persuade Matt to head upstairs and have a warm shower because there's nothing else for him to do downstairs. Eventually, he gives in. He can't win when he's fighting against the two of them.

Shortly after, Damon returns free of dirt and blood. He says no words, and no sarcastic comments, as he enters the parlor in search of something. Seconds later he returns with a new bottle of whiskey in his hands.

"I got this." Damon turns to Jeremy. "Go, sleep it off."

Jeremy is noticeably hesitant, so Johanna tries to reassure him.

"I'm okay." she smiles.

"See, she's okay." Damon answers.

Jeremy doesn't move. "You sure you're okay?"

Damon starts to become irritated. "Am I invisible?"

He receives no reply from Jeremy, who continues to watch Johanna.

"I'm fine, you should sleep." she answers.

Jeremy manages a small, weak smile before he slowly heads upstairs to sleep.

Her eyes are soon drawn towards Damon, who removes his leather jacket slowly and hangs it off the back of one of the chairs. After rolling up the sleeves of his long, navy blue shirt he reaches for the whiskey and removes the lid. He takes a large mouthful before offering the bottle to her.

She doesn't move.

"What's that for?" she asks.

"To take the edge off."

Johanna takes the bottle slowly with he right hand, pausing before she presses it against her lips and swallows a small mouthful. Once she has finished, she sets it down on the table and glances up to find Damon still watching her.

"You know, I could give you my blood and you'd heal in seconds." he suggests.

She doesn't hesitate. "No."

Her voice is firm and determined, so he doesn't see the point in arguing.

"Fine, have it your way." he mumbles, setting down the med kit on the table. "The long, drawn-out, painful way."

Damon unlocks the latch, lifts up the lid and looks over the contents before he pulls out a small pair of tweezers.

"You can get rid of the cloth."

Johanna drops her hand from her shoulder, and lowers the cloth. She straightens up in the chair, so Damon can get a better look at the wound. He moves so he's standing before her, and then sigh.

"I mean this in the least sexual way possible..." he sighs. "But I need you to take your shirt off, because I can't get at it. And by 'it' I mean the tiny shards of glass sticking in your back."

"Okay."

She unbuttons the front of her shirt until she can slide her arm out of the sleeve. Johanna slides her right arm out of the sleeve, leaving the rest of the shirt to hang on her body. She doesn't remove it entirely, but it still allows him to see the wound freely. It stings, and she bites down on her bottom lip.

Damon leans in closer, she can feel his breath against the back of her neck. He examines the wound closely before speaking.

"Couple of shards."

And by a couple of shards he means_ a lot._

He half leans over, and the tilts his head so he can view them clearer. Damon reaches for the smaller shards, slowly extracting it from her skin. She doesn't feel it, and remains still as he places it down on the table. Her breathing remains steady, and she stays silent, as he continues to pull out the shards. The small ones don't hurt, but the bigger shards that were lodged in deeper hurt.

The next shard is thicker, and is in deeper. When he removes it, it causes her to draw in a sharp, noticeable breath of air. Damon reaches for the bottle with his free hand, he takes a drink before extending it to her. She takes it without a word, drinks from it, and sets it down on the table. He continues to repeat the process, of carefully extracting and removing the shards, for quite some time before he has finally finished. When it's over, he swallows what's left in the bottle before setting it down and returning to he medical kit.

She glances up. "Thank you."

Damon ignores her and continues searching. Once he has found the specific item that he was searching for he takes a step towards the sink, runs the water and dampens a cloth underneath it. Damon returns to her side, wipes the wound with the cloth to clean it and then dries it slightly before covering it gently with an ointment. Finally, he places a dry, non-stick bandage over it.

"Unfortunately, we don't have any medication to help with the pain, or the healing process. You might be out of training for a few days. Or..."

He lifts an eyebrow. "You could drink my blood, and heal in a couple of minutes. What do you say?"

"I don't know, Damon."

She's obviously wary, but he doesn't understand why. Damon believes that she needs this. She needs to recover, and heal, so they can trained and be prepared.

"You're weak like this." he states. "You can't afford to be weak."

"If I die-"

"You're not going to die with my blood in your system, okay? If that's why you're refusing, it's a stupid reason to. I won't kill you, not for the next twenty four hours anyway, and you'll be inside the house by dark so no other vampires will kill you."

Johanna doesn't move.

"Fine, if you don't believe me then let's spar."

"What?"

"Here." Damon tosses her the same stake she used earlier. "The old, familiar tool of my destruction. Stake me."

She places the stake firmly in her right hand and moves as quickly as she can towards Damon. He overpowers her with ease, twists her injured arm behind her back and causes her to cry out in pain. He releases her, discards the stake on the table, and tilts his head to the left. All this time his eyes never shift away from her.

"Come on!" he says. "Just a little."

"Okay." she gives in.

He's instantly surprised. "Okay?"

Damon watches silently as she buttons up her shirt, and breathes out heavily.

"Okay."

"If we're really doing this, I have rules." he informs her.

She almost smiles, and he almost finds it sweet.

"You have rules?"

"Yes." he answers seriously. "What is so surprising about that?"

"Nothing."

"Okay. You can't stake me."

"I won't." she says, but she doesn't sound confident.

"I know, you couldn't if you wanted to. But your urge as a hunter might want to get the better of you. When you see vampires, you want to kill them. Right? I wanted to clear the air, and make sure that-"

"The air is clear." she says quickly.

Damon nods, taking a step in her direction. "Good."

He lifts his hand to his mouth. His sharp, dagger like teeth appear seconds later. Dark red and black veins form underneath his red eyes, spreading down his face. Damon tears into the skin of his palm with his teeth, until the blood begins to flow freely.

"You want this to stay or go? Glass or take away mug?"

She remains still in front of him, like she's locked in, like she can't move. She stays like this for a minute because she's fighting herself, and her almost uncontrollable urge, to stake Damon right through the heart.

"Johanna? his voice breaks through to her.

Her eyes lock with his. "Blood is blood. It doesn't matter what it's in."

An unreadable expression darts over his face as he lifts his hand up to her. She is hesitant at first, like he expected her to be. He understands her hesitancy, and her desire to kill him, so he watches her carefully waiting for a sign that she might snap and try to kill him. Damon finds that, even if he'd wanted to, he can't lift his eyes away from her. This feeling only grows as she presses her fingers beneath his wrist.

Her fingers are surprisingly gentle, as she pulls his wrist down to her lips. She pauses once more, before places the palm of his hands against her lips and allowing the blood to flow freely into her mouth. Johanna drinks from it slowly. The blood tastes bitter and warm, and she hates it. She hates blood. She looks up at him for a sign to stop, and he nods slightly indicating that she has had enough.

Damon steps back first, his eyes returning to their normal light, almost clear, shade of blue.

"Johanna..."

Her mind is controlling her. It's telling her that she needs to kill him. It's shouting at her to pick up the stake and drive it through the monster's heart, but she won't do it. She won't let her mind, or her desires, control her.

"Stop, Damon." her eyes close.

"Johanna..."

She turns away from him, her eyes tightly closed. "I have to leave, and so do you."

Damon doesn't falter.

"Damon." her voice is serious. "Take the stake and walk away now, or I'm going to try and kill you."

He swipes the stake from the table and moves towards the parlor. "Night!"

* * *

Johanna washes quickly, cleaning and scrubbing away at her skin. She washes until she feels clean. When she reaches for the wound of her shoulder, she finds that it has healed and she feels no pain. She dresses quickly, brushes her hair, and returns to her room to find Matt resting on the edge of her bed with his head in his hands. He almost looks like he's asleep.

"Matt."

He jumps upright. "Hey! How are you feeling?"

She half smiles. "I'm okay. What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing, you should be resting with your shoulder like that."

"Damon healed it." she answers. "With his blood. I just, I wanted the pain to go away and-"

"I get it." Matt nods. "I get that. You okay?"

She sees right through him. "Matt, what is it? What's going on?"

He sighs. "Nothing, I just...I'm sorry. We shouldn't have ordered more pizza."

"Don't." Johanna stops him. "Don't blame yourself for this, okay? I'm fine, we all are. That's what matters, isn't it?"

"Yeah, okay." he answers quietly. "Er, I have something for you...In my room. I got it from work."

Her brow creases. "What?"

"Wait here."

Matt turns away and leaves quickly, picking up a bag from the end of his room. He soon returns to her, shutting the door to her room as he does. Once inside, he settles the bag down on the end of the bed and pulls out a full, new bottle of Bourbon. Her eyes widen, and she wonders what he's doing with this.

"What is this? What are you doing with this?"

"Just, there's something...I wanted to talk to you about." he admits.

"And we need to drink to talk about it?"

Matt simply nods.

"Must be serious."

He exhales shakily, and she knows that it is serious.

"Oh, it is serious." she crosses her arms and steps towards him.

Worry etches into her features. "What's going on?"

Matt unscrews the lid and swallows a large mouthful, before taking a seat on the edge of her bed. He exhales heavily after, and extends the bottle to her. She takes it slowly.

"It's just...You almost died tonight."

"But I'm okay now." she says quickly. "That's what matters."

"Yeah, well, it's just..."

"What?" she asks quietly.

"No one else gets it. You know?"

Johanna takes a seat next to him, swallowing a small mouthful. "Gets what?"

It takes Matt a minute to speak, and when he does his voice is significantly quieter.

"You and me, we're only human. Same with Jeremy. I mean...Elena, and Damon. They heal when they're attacked, or injured. It's okay, because they can't be killed like that. They can't be killed..."

"As easily as we can be?" she asks.

Matt nods again. "Mhm. And I'm just.."

"You're struggling?"

He frowns instantly. "No, I'm not struggling with anything. I mean, I just keep thinking about how close I've been to death in the past. Same with you."

"You're talking about when you were attacked, right?" she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, before turning on the bed to face him.

Matt gently takes the bottle from her hands and drinks from it.

"Yeah, I mean I was almost gone. I was fading, I know that, and I would've died if it wasn't for you."

"Hey." Johanna stops him. "You don't have to think about that. Okay?"

"Yeah, I kinda do have to think about it." he shakes his head. "If it wasn't for you, I would have died there all alone. And I just...The fear still kinda stays with me."

Her eyes linger on him for a minute before she breathes in deeply.

"It's always going to be there."

He glances up and looks disappointed. "Really?"

"Yeah, but I mean..." Johanna pauses. "What you have to do is hold on to something stronger than that."

"Like...Love or something?" he almost smiles.

She nods. "Er, yeah, I guess. Just hold on to something good, something stronger than the fear. It'll fade away eventually, then you won't feel it anymore. Until then, you have your friends."

Matt grins. "And bourbon."

Johanna swipes the bottle out of his hands. "And bourbon. How did you even get this?"

"What, the bourbon? I said, I got it from work."

"Yeah," her smile widens. "You didn't say you bought it."

He shrugs and tries to take it from her, she doesn't let him.

"Technically..."

"Ooh. You stole it? I don't think the boss would like that very much, would he?" her grin widens.

"I'll slip some money in later." he shrugs again.

"What are you, twenty? If that?"

"Nineteen, actually. But, er..I think I kinda needed it after nearly being killed."

"Mm." she turns away, her smile faltering.

"What?" his sweet smile remains.

"Just be careful with how much you drink." she clutches her hands together. "Be careful. Okay?"

"Okay." he agrees, smiling still. "But, I think that after tonight...Facing another near death experience, we need this."

* * *

Damon rests alone in the parlor swallowing large mouthfuls of whiskey from the bottle that rests firmly in his hand. He stares blankly, with empty eyes, at the chair in which he knows Alaric previously sat in. But he knows now that he is utterly and entirely alone, with the exception of the darkness which waits always, howling and scratching at his skin, trying to find a way in to consume him and he almost always lets it in but this time it's different, he fights it harder, he wants to fight it and he doesn't know why.

As his eyes close slowly he recalls the earlier events of the night, a slight grimace appears on his face as he does so.

He'd been outside digging another grave with the shovel when he'd heard footsteps behind him. He'd called out for whoever it was to go inside, it wasn't safe out here, and then he'd heard a laugh. A small, humorous, familiar laugh that belonged to Klaus.

"That is some good advice, Damon." Klaus said. "But it is pointless, because if they don't come out then I'll burn the house down."

Damon released a loud sighed, tossed the shovel down, and turned to Klaus.

"What do you want, Klaus?"

"What do I want, Damon?" Klaus mused. "Many things. I want the cure, among those things, and said cure is only accessible through your two hunters and if I'm correct neither of their marks are complete yet."

Damon stood silent.

"I didn't think so." Klaus smiled. "Listen, mate, this is what's going to happen. You're going to let me step in and fasten up this process because you're taking too long."

Damon smirked. "If I'm correct - they're my hunters."

"If I'm correct, Damon, Elena is all alone in the Salvatore Boarding House with the exception of the occasional visits from the Bennett witch and Caroline." Klaus coolly replied.

"You wouldn't." Damon stated, a flicker of doubt echoing in his voice. "You need her for your hybrids."

Klaus smiled. "You're right, Damon, I wouldn't kill her. But I'm sure I could find some way that may possibly motivate you to move faster."

Damon growled. "How do you suggest I do that?"

Klaus didn't hesitate. "Twenty-five vampires should get it moving along, shouldn't it?"

"You turned twenty-five vampires?!" Damon quickly replied.

"No, but when the morning sun rises I will have." Klaus smirked. "Be a smart man, Damon, and when you've reached the correct decision_ the drinks are on me_."

* * *

The night passes them by slowly.

Matt had checked in on Jeremy, to ask if he wanted to join them, but after finding him asleep and resting soundly he had returned to Johanna and they had continued drinking, and talking. They drunk a little together, but Johanna hadn't had nearly as much as Matt does. She tried to stop him, to make him slow down, but he didn't want to stop and soon enough he became too drunk to leave his room on his own and she found herself with the task of getting him back to his room and into bed.

"Up we get..."

Johanna slides her hands around Matt and helps him to stand from the bed. She manages to extract the bottle from his hand, setting it down on the table by her bedside as she does.

"We...Whe-where are we...Going?" he slurs into her ear.

She steadies him before they begin to take slow steps towards the door. She needs to get him back to his room so he can rest.

"You are going to sleep." she replies quietly.

Johanna opens the door carefully, and silently. She manages to keep Matt mostly silent as she guides him down towards his bedroom door. She turns the handle slowly and helps him inside.

"You...You're so good. To me." he whispers quietly, a grin resting on his features.

"And you're too drunk to know what you're saying." she answers, as she manages to shut the door with her right hand.

She keeps her left hand firmly around his waist, keeping him upright.

"You'll be okay on your own?" she asks.

He nods and moves to step away, but instantly his feet give out on him and he almost falls to the ground. Johanna barely manages to catch him, and stop him from hitting the ground.

"It's okay." she helps him upwards.

His hands fall down to her back, and she tries to lead him towards the bed.

"I got you."

"I wanna...I want to...Thank you." he says slowly. "For-For-"

"Okay." she looks up at him, a smile resting on her face. "It's okay, but right now you need to-"

Matt cuts her off by kissing her. He doesn't hesitate, and after a moment of his eyes wandering to her lips he leans down and presses a strong kiss to her lips. His hands drop to her waist as she tries to break the kiss.

"Matt..." she manages to pull away. "You're drunk, you need to sleep."

"I'm not _that_ drunk." he whispers quietly, his clear eyes settled in on her.

And then he leans in, pressing another kiss to her lips. The kiss is soft, and sweet, and in seconds she is kissing him back. Her hands run up his cheeks, and slowly slip into his hair. He pushes her back against the wall, and they fall into each other. He breaks his lips away from her and begins to press soft kisses to her neck.

Her heart pounds heavily in her chest.

"Matt..." she whispers.

She shouldn't have let this happen, she should have just left him alone.

"Matt." she repeats, her voice firmer.

And then he kisses her lips again, and she almost gets lost in it; the passion of it, the feel of his hands holding her tightly and securely, the need to feel wanted by someone. But she knows that it isn't right, that this shouldn't be happening. She doesn't want him like this, she doesn't feel _that_ for him but she can't fight it. He gets her, and she gets him. They both know what it's like to be human, and to barely cheat death.

Her hands slip into his shirt, and she begins to remove the buttons. They fall back towards the bed, Matt hits the bed first and she falls down on top of him.

"Matt..." she closes her eyes, as his lips continue moving up her neck.

This has to stop.

"Rebekah..." he whispers, pulling her down towards him.

Johanna's eyes immediately open.

"Rebekah..." he continues quietly. "I'm so glad...I'm so...You're here."

She pulls away from him quickly, pushing him down forcefully against the bed.

"Go to sleep, Matt." she stands from the bed.

He's too drunk to answer.

Johanna pulls the blankets up over his body, before she switches out the light and steps out of the room. She leaves Matt alone, but still carries the regret with her as she returns to her room in the hopes of finding a moment of rest.

Her rest didn't last long before Damon came to her, convinced her to come with him, and somehow she had found herself in his car as he pulled it up to a halt outside of the familiar bar where she'd last been. She watches him silently for a minute, causing him to lift an eyebrow and look in her direction.

"Something that you want to say?"

"Yes." she nods.

He almost sighs.

"Tell me again, why it's just me and you? Why are we keeping Jeremy and Matt out of this?"

Damon shrugs effortlessly. "Because."

"Because?"

For a moment there's only silence.

Damon is torn. Alaric's words, about taking it easy on Johanna, continue to replay over in his head. He chose her for this. He chose her to be the one to kill twenty-five vampires because he thought she was more capable of living with the guilt which is sure to come.

"Because of the whole vampire situation back at the house."

"That was nothing, Damon. I've had worse."

He believes that.

"This is your chance to inflict worse on these vampires." he smiles, before sliding out of the car.

She joins him at the back of the car, where he's pulling out a large crossbow.

"Just remember...One at a time, don't hesitate and don't miss. I'll have your back, but there's only so much I can do."

"Anything else?" she glances up at him.

Damon almost smiles, and she almost finds it comforting. Almost. It disappears before it can form, and any feelings or thoughts of comfort soon disappear as his next words echo in the air.

"Aim for the heart."

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing my story, I hope you're enjoy it still and here's another chapter this week! Oh, and I just wanted to say again that this will still definitely be a Damon and Johanna story (despite the Matt/Johanna scene.) I know, the scenes between them have been short and filled mostly with anger, neck snapping, and insults but they'll start to bond in the next chapters. You'll see. (I can't wait for you to read it and what's coming.)**

**Anyway, a special thanks to the kind reviewers of chapter 15 & I hope you enjoy!**

**X**


	17. Metal tongues

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_I'm not upset.  
Upset is an emotion specific to those who care._

A heavy silence hangs in the air as Johanna steps cautiously through the front doors, a crossbow firmly in her hands. Damon follows closely behind her, his eyes skimming over his surroundings. The bar is empty. There is no blood here, and no bodies of vampires. It's all empty.

She drops her crossbow and turns to him, an angered expression already settled on her face.

"What, is this supposed to be some sort of sick joke?" she snaps.

"No, it's not a joke." he snaps back, stepping past her. "There's someone else here."

"You're sure?" she asks.

"Uh, yeah." Damon rolls his eyes, still moving forward.

She follows his lead now, still with the crossbow in her hands. They move slowly through the bar, checking all they can. When they reach a storage room out the back, a bloody figure jumps out at them. A man, stained and torn, dripping with blood. She fires the crossbow without hesitation. He gets hit in the chest, and after staggering for a moment he falls down on to a pile of bodies.

The room is icy and cold. The pile of bodies is fresh with blood, and the stench of it causes her stomach to flip.

"What the hell happened here?" Damon frowns. "What is Klaus doing-"

"I'm sorry to disappoint, Damon, but this had nothing to do with my brother. At least, what you're viewing now didn't."

Kol's voice echoes in the silence.

Damon and Johanna spin around instantly, facing Kol in the doorway. He smiles smugly at them, his eyes darting towards the crossbow.

"Lower the crossbow, darling." he instructs. "Before I rip it from you, along with your beating heart."

She briefly glances at Damon, who nods slightly, before she discards it to the ground.

"When my brother bragged of his plan to complete the hunter's mark, I didn't believe it would be this easy to put an end to it. It was simple, tracking this lot down. And running into you, Damon, well that was just luck. You could call it a pleasant surprise, if you liked."

"I don't believe in luck, and I don't care about Klaus' plan." Damon snaps back.

"Oh, I don't believe that, darling. Not for a second." Kol smiles pleasantly. "Now, I think you and I are going to have to do this the old fashion way. Aren't we?"

"And what would that be?" Damon frowns.

"A fight to the death, but not before we have some fun."

Kol turns towards Johanna, a smile resting on his face still. "I don't wish to be rude, darling, so ladies first."

Before Damon can move, before he can prevent what happens next, Kol darts towards Johanna. His fangs slide out, and after he has grabbed hold of her arms his teeth rip into her skin. He tears the flesh, settling down against her as her warm blood flows into his mouth. She isn't strong enough to overpower him, or beat him, but she is strong enough to stun him and this is what she does.

Johanna slips her hand inside the pocket of her pants and pulls out a small blade. She jabs it harshly between his ribs, breaking away from him as she does. Kol briefly breaks away from her, blood tricking down his lips and running down his chin. He almost laughs as he views the knife standing out of his chest. Blood flows down quickly but he takes no notice of it. In this moment, Damon speeds forward and slams Kol's back against the wall.

Kol doesn't fight, instead he smiles.

"Ooh, darling!" he calls out. "You've got a bit of fight in you, haven't you? I like that, so when I'm done here with your friend Damon, you and I shall have some fun."

Damon continues to struggle with Kol, keeping him against the wall until Kol eventually breaks free. Damon lands several punches, before shouting at Johanna who hasn't move.

"Go! Get out of here!"

Kol pays little attention to her words, because he already knows that she won't be going anywhere right now. In a swift, clean movement Kol snaps Damon's neck and appears in front of Johanna seconds later. Damon's crumpled body falls down on the ground behind them.

A smile spreads over Kol's face. "Now, where were we?"

Damon first wakes to the darkness.

It surrounds him, and for a moment his head aches and his vision is too blurry to see what is around him. At first, he is dazed and can only focus on the sound of heavy breathing nearby. His eyes open completely, his vision becomes clearer, and he looks up to see Kol kneeling down in front of him with a smile on his face.

"Ah, Damon!" he exclaims. "It's good to see you waking, mate. We wouldn't want you to miss the whole party would we, Johanna? You know, your friend and I have been having quite a lovely time. What a shame that the circumstances are so difficult."

Then, Kol's expression becomes serious. "You will not stand unless you are told to do so."

Damon has to comply because he can't fight the compulsion. He's not on vervain right now. He turns slightly to the side and finds Johanna sitting on a crate, her wrists bound together and tied tightly to the shelf beside her. She can't be compelled, Kol has realised this and that is why she has been chained.

"Go on, Johanna, darling. Tell Damon of the fun we've been having." Kol's voice is cheery as it rings through the silence.

Her eyes open slowly and she grimaces.

Damon only notices now that her body is stained with thick, heavy stains and a knife sticks out of her ribcage. He stiffens up at the sight of her injuries, and his eyes linger on her before he is drawn back towards Kol who hands him a long, sharp knife. Kol's smile widens, if possible.

"We can't let her have all the fun now, can we? So, this is for you. Don't rush to thank me now, Damon. you can thank me later." he places the blade in Damon's hands. "Stab yourself in the chest, darling."

Damon can't refuse, and Johanna can't do anything but watch. He picks up the blade hesitantly, before shoving it deeply into his chest. A loud wince passes Damon's lips as he keeps pushing it in. He hears a small noise from Johanna, and she shuts her eyes briefly.

"Very good, Damon. Very good. You're quite obedient, aren't you?" Kol comments. "But you're not as obedient as I'd like, and that's why you're going to stab yourself even further. Until the blade sticks out of your back, and then you can stop."

A growl rises in Damon's throat. "What happened to fighting to the death?"

Kol almost laughs. "I changed my mind. I don't want to kill you, Damon. I want to use you, and the purpose of this was to make sure you could be compelled. And yes, you can be, so that's perfect. But your friend here, what was your name again, darling? Johanna? Yes, that's right, isn't it? Johanna cannot be compelled, so we find ourself in quite a tricky situation."

"I'm going to kill you." Damon hisses. "I don't care what you're going to do to me, or what you think you're going to do - because I'm going to kill you first."

"Oh, mate. That really isn't fair." Kol sighs loudly. "It isn't anyway to thank me, for the favour I'm doing you. Is it? Damon, let's all be honest here. We're friends, aren't we? And you can always be honest around friends. You don't want the cure. You're attempting to fool yourself in believing you want it for Elena, but you don't. You fancy her, and now you are able to spend eternity with her. Yes?"

"No."

"Damon, you and I have things to discuss. But not before I finish up with our friend here, who I've no use for."

Kol quickly breaks the binds away from Johanna's wrist before he forces her to stand. With no hesitation, he rips into her neck and bites down into her flesh with such fury. She bleeds so freely and quickly that it pools at his feet.

In the next seconds that pass Damon finds himself struggling with what he must do; allow Kol to finish Johanna off because she can't permanently be killed or tell Kol what she is. And then he remembers that the blood is still in her system. If she dies, she'll become a vampire.

The words spill out like the blood pooling on the dirty ground.

"If you kill her you'll get the hunter's curse!" Damon all but shouts.

Kol instantly pulls his fangs out of her neck. His hangs grip her tightly as he looks down at Damon, anger building up in his dark and hollow eyes.

"You fool! You would lie to me about such things?! I thought I just said, you don't lie in the company of friends!"

Blood runs down his body.

"I'm not lying, I have no reason to." Damon grimaces, still pressing the blade in deeper.

"It is the Brotherhood of the five, not the Sisterhood." Kol viciously snaps.

But when he really looks into his eyes, he sees a flicker of honesty and he turns back to Johanna. After forcing his hand around her throat, he tries to force her to look at him but she won't.

"Now, now." he says gently. "Darling."

He guides her face towards his, pushing her hair off her face with his bloody hands. He smears her blood over her cheeks as he does.

"Come now, darling, don't struggle. There's no point in that."

"Go to hell!" she snaps back.

Kol smiles. "I do like pretty little things with sharp tongues, so I'll let that insult pass. However, if you attempt to wake Silas you will bring hell to earth I will tear that sharp little tongue from your mouth. Now, be wise and answer my question before I break your neck. Are you a hunter?"

"Of the five." she manages to say.

"I can't believe my eyes!" Kol exclaims. "A female Hunter of the Five. Yes, of course, over the years I did hear the occasional story but I never believed I would view such a sight with my own eyes. How the world has changed!"

He tosses her down to the ground, and after she has fallen she looks up at Damon.

"Now, we shall have some fun, darling." he says cruelly.

"Go, Johanna! Go!" Damon shouts.

And Kol doesn't fight her. He doesn't attempt to prevent her from leaving, but instead he lets her go because he doesn't want to kill her. He won't be the one to kill her. Damon Salvatore will be the one to kill her, just like he will be the one to kill Jeremy Gilbert.

Kol's eyes remain on Damon, while the grin on his face returns.

"I meant what I said, I'm going to kill you."

"And I meant what I said, I am doing you a favour, Damon." he kneels down before him. "You don't really want the cure, so I'm going to make this easier for you. I'm going to help you remove Jeremy Gilbert, and Johanna, because you don't want their help. Not really."

"I don't want them removed."

"Sure you don't,, darling." Kol answers. "But you're going to kill them anyway, and if you fail for some reason then my friend will complete the task. You're not going to remember what I say, but you are going to find Jeremy Gilbert, and you are going to find Johanna, and when you do you are going to kill them. You will kill anyone and everyone who prevents you from completing your task."

* * *

Johanna runs unsteadily through the tall, looming trees. Her feet stagger and stumble over thick shrubbery, and hard ground. She tries to move quickly, because she has to reach Jeremy and Matt and make sure they're safe. She has to protect them, but she can't move fast with the knife in her stomach. Her entire body radiates with a deep pain which causes her to shake without realising so. Blood trickles down her neck, it feels warm and sticky against her skin.

She halts suddenly as a sharp pain rips through her body. Her eyes dart around the surroundings, before she falls back against a large tree and releases a deep moan. Her hands tremble, and hot tears streak down her cheeks, as the agonizing pain grows. Johanna sets her head back against the tree, drawing in a sharp breath. She closes her eyes and grasps the blade sticking out of her body.

A grimace immediately paints her features, and a low, deep moan passes her lips. Her cries come out muffled as she steadies herself, breathes in sharply, and pulls the knife out with one tug. She has to clasp her bloody hands over her mouth to stop herself from releasing a loud cry.

The sound of crackling leaves on the ground alerts her to the possibility that she isn't entirely alone anymore. She exhales softly, steadily grips the knife in her right hand and readies herself to use it if she needs to. The footsteps move closer, and closer, and when they're only a few seconds away she moves. Johanna darts out from behind the tree, immediately regretting a move like this as it sends an immediate shockwave of pain through her.

The footsteps don't belong to Kol, like she believed that they did.

A tall, black-haired man with light green eyes stands before her. He doesn't hesitate, he acts. Darting forward at her with a stake in his hand, he throws her body down to the ground and climbs on top of her. She struggles to gain control as he lifts the stake back, ready to press it deep in her chest. Johanna gets a hand free, and she doesn't hesitate.

She thrusts the knife deep into his chest. He stops abruptly, breathing in sharply as he begins to fall down on top of her. His blood spills on to her, and she feels sick. She pushes his body to the ground and stumbles backwards, her body shaking more now.

And then she sees it.

Something she should have noticed, something that will stay with her until the day she dies.

The Hunter's mark covers his left arm.

She gasps when seeing it, struggling to stand up and run away. Johanna leaves his body crumpled on the ground, and tries to run because it's all that she knows how to do. Her feet drag her forward, even when her body is ready to give up. She runs out on the road, in front of the bar. Her eyes skim the vehicles but none of them are unlocked, and she can't risk going back inside.

Her legs are unsteady as she runs on them. She can't stop, despite the throbbing, constant pain. Minutes later she reaches a long, pebble road which will lead her down to the lake house. She could almost cry with relief when she sees it because she's almost there. Her thoughts swirl with Jeremy and Matt, and even Damon. She finds herself worrying about Damon, and knowing that she needs to return for him as soon as she's made sure that Matt and Jeremy are fine.

She moves up the narrow, winding path and walks for several minutes until she finds the voice to speak.

"Jeremy?!"

No response.

"Jeremy?!" she shouts louder.

Desperation rings off her words. "Matt?! Jeremy? Matt!"

Then she hears it.

"Johanna?" Jeremy's voice calls back.

She halts briefly, spinning around in search of him.

"Jeremy?" her voice is still shaky, and she almost doesn't recognise it.

He calls back instantly. "Johanna, where are you?"

Johanna begins rushing forward, stumbling through bushes and tree branches until he steps out on the same path of her. An expression of worry has already been settled on his face, and when she realises he's here she could almost cry with relief.

He finds that her skin is stained with blood. Several wounds on her body bleed, and she's a mess. A bloody mess, with shaking hands and heavy breathing.

"Oh, Jeremy." she wraps her arms around his neck.

Her body crashes against his, and she breathes out deeply. "You're okay. I'm so glad you're okay."

He almost falls over, because of the sudden movement, but he quickly steadies himself and presses his hands reassuringly against her back.

"Whoa, what happened? Are you okay?"

Suddenly she breaks the embrace, like she's only just noticed that she's spread all of her blood on him. She takes a step back, her eyes briefly falling to the ground.

"Damon. He's-He's inside."

"What?" Jeremy frowns. "What happened to you? Did he do this?"

"No."

Jeremy steps forward and reaches out, to press a comforting hand against her shoulder. She instantly recoils, like she can't let him be smeared with more of her bloody mistakes.

"You just need to calm down, and we can fix this." he says soothingly.

She shakes her head quickly. "I can't. If I die, I'm going to become a vampire. And Damon, he's back there. He's in a lot of pain."

"Hey." his voice softens. "It's okay, I promise we'll sort this out. You won't become a vampire, and Damon will be fine. First, tell me where he is."

"The bar." she stammers. "I don't- He told me to leave."

"It's okay." he half smiles. "We need to get you fixed up, okay? Because you're pretty hurt."

"I'm fine. We need to focus on Damon." she halts abruptly, and the panic returns. "Where's Matt?!"

"He's at the Grill, he had a shift and Elena drove him in. Look, Damon can take care of himself. Okay? He's a big boy. I'll call Stefan to check on him, but right now we need to get you to Meredith. Believe it or not, Damon would want you to get help. He'd be annoyed if you died on him before he could finish the training."

"Damon told me to, he told me to run."

Jeremy nods quickly. "I'm sure he told you that because he was looking out for you. Now, we really need to get you help. The difference between you and Damon, is he can't die. You can, so we need to get you to Meredith."

Johanna stops objecting, instead she allows Jeremy to guide her to Matt's truck. They drive in silence back to the Gilbert House, where Meredith already waits for them. Jeremy had called her on the way in, and she'd gotten there in minutes. Jeremy guides Johanna up the front stairs and to the porch, where he lets them inside the house and lets Meredith follow her upstairs towards the bathroom.

Jeremy remains outside while he calls Stefan, who answers immediately.

"Jeremy, what can I do for you? Has something happened?"

"No." Jeremy answers quickly. "I mean, I don't know. Johanna came back to the cabin bleeding, she said Damon was still inside the bar near the lake house. Look, I don't know what went down but something happened and I can't get back there. I'm back in town with Johanna, because she needed to see Meredith."

Stefan pauses for a long moment. "I'll let you know if I find him. For the time, stay away from the lake house. Keep Elena away too."

Once the phone call has ended, Jeremy returns inside and meets Meredith downstairs, who has finished tending with Johanna's wounds.

"She's going to be fine, but she should definitely rest."

"I don't need rest." Johanna comes down the staircase slowly. "I'm fine."

Meredith sighs quietly. "I know that you might feel like you're fine, right now, but you're not. You need to recover, and take care of yourself."

"I am fine, Meredith, thank you." she answers, before turning to Jeremy. "Did you get a hold of Matt?"

He shakes his head. "No, I couldn't but he's probably just busy."

Johanna reaches the bottom of the staircase, and soon joins their side.

"We should see him."

Meredith speaks up. "For one, you're covered with blood and you're hurt. You can't go out like that, and you shouldn't be going out. You need to care for yourself, and your body, so that you can heal and recover."

"I feel better already." she answers, "Can I borrow a coat, Jeremy?"

He hesitates noticeably, but soon realises that there isn't much point in trying to persuade her.

"Sure, I'll go grab one."

After going upstairs and finding a coat for Johanna to borrow, he returns downstairs and passes it to her. She smiles thankfully, and slides on the thick, dark navy blue coat and buttons it up. They say goodbye to Meredith, and slide back in Matt's truck.

He breaks the silence immediately.

"What happened at the bar?" he asks. "Why were you even down there?"

"Kol happened."

"Kol?!" Jeremy's head snaps upwards.

"He had Damon, when I left. We need to find Damon next." she breathes out deeply. "We can't just leave him behind."

"We won't leave him behind. Stefan's taking care of that, while we check in on Matt and Elena."

They don't speak for the remainder of the drive to the Grill, and the truck soon fills with a tense silence. Once they reach the Grill, and the car pulls up to a halt outside, the two jump out simultaneously and move quickly, side by side, through the front doors and into the crowded room.

Jeremy is the first one to spot Elena, and moves quickly in her direction. Johanna moves forward to follow him, but halts suddenly when her eyes fall to the floor which is now covered with fresh, sticky blood that no one else in the room appears to notice. She skims the room, the nearby faces and eyes, but all around her are oblivious to the blood. Her eyes are then drawn to her hands, which suddenly tingle with a sticky sensation, and when she looks upon them she finds they are stained with the familiar shade of crimson.

"Elena."

Jeremy breathes a sigh of relief and hugs his sister.

"Jer." she smiles, hugging him back. "What's wrong?"

He breaks the embrace and briefly turns back to Johanna, finding that she moves slowly towards his side. He thinks nothing of it, and returns his attention back to Elena.

"I'll explain later. Is Matt here?"

"Yeah, he's out back." Elena nods. "Jer, what's going on?"

"Just wait here for a minute, okay?"

She smiles nervously. "Okay, but come back soon. Okay?"

Johanna steps past the two of them and begins moving quickly towards the bar, her eyes soon settling upon Matt's figure who has just stepped out of the back room. He carries a large tray of clean glasses, and isn't wounded or bleeding at all.

"Hey, guys." he smiles. "How's it going?"

"Good." Johanna forces a smile. "Busy night?"

"Got hungry, thought we'd come here to eat." Jeremy smiles.

"Alright, cool." Matt grins widely. "I just gotta take care of this but I'll be back in a minute, and then I'll get you guys something. Okay?"

"Okay." she answers coolly, crossing her arms around her stomach.

Moments after he has disappeared she turns to Jeremy.

"They need to know the truth. So, you should take Matt out the back and tell him. I'll talk to Elena in a minute."

"Why? Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom, I won't be long."

Elena glances to her right to find Damon joining her by her table. He smiles briefly at the sight of her, and she smiles back.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Felt like grabbing a drink." he answers.

"How are you doing?" she asks.

"I'm great, Elena. Have you seen Jeremy? Or Johanna?"

A slight frown crosses Elena's face. "Yeah, I think Johanna just went to the bathroom. Jeremy's somewhere here. Why? Did something happen at the house?"

"No, everything's fine, Elena." he smiles easily. "I just wanted to check in on them. I went kind of hard on them today."

Her frown disappears and she smiles softly. "Okay."

Damon takes a step past Elena, his eyes drawn towards the bathroom. But on his way there he is quickly stopped by the sight of Jeremy, who has just stepped out from behind the bar. Their eyes lock slowly, and Jeremy freezes. Damon looks beyond pissed. He steps towards Jeremy with haste, and as his eyes near him he shifts. Dark blue and black veins spread beneath Damon's eyes, which slowly being to turn red.

Jeremy backs away.

"I'm warning you. Go." Damon hisses.

Elena's voice breaks through to Damon, and he turns slowly to look at her when she calls his name.

"Damon, what's happening? What's wrong?"

"I don't know." he answers, his brow furrowed.

All of his thoughts are of Jeremy and Johanna, and what he must now do to them.

"Damon, are you okay?" she leans in closer.

Damon's eyes close and he breathes out deeply.

"Idiots." he mutters.

He can hear Jeremy talking to Johanna, dragging her and Matt out of the Grill through the back door. He can hear everything; their footsteps, their breathing, their words and it only angers him more how stupid they are for heading out into the open space where there is almost nowhere to hide.

"Kol."

"What?!" Elena gasps loudly. "He's here?!"

"Yep. And I'm pretty sure I have to kill Jeremy and Johanna for him."

Damon spins around towards the exit door, and begins moving speedily towards it. Elena's words become a blur, because all that he can think about is how he has to tear their limbs from their bodies. He rushes after them because he can't stop himself, and he can't think of doing anything else. He wants to feed on them, until there's not a single drop of blood left, and then he wants to rip their heads off. His thoughts shift and change, and soon enough he finds himself outside in the parking lot.

He can see them running away, towards the park across the road.

"Really?" Damon calls out into the night. "You decided to bring her with you? And the quarterback? Idiots!"

Without thinking, his legs start moving and in seconds Damon is speeding forward through the night. In seconds, he'll be close enough to kill them and anyone that gets in his way.

"Run faster!" Damon shouts. "Do you hear me? I'm going to kill you, if you don't run, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

But there's nothing that they can do, because in seconds Damon is standing in front of them. He looks menacing and incredibly dangerous. His fangs are showing, his eyes are now a deadly shade of read, and dark veins spread under his eyes.

Johanna blinks harshly, as specks of blood dart before her eyes. Her body continues to burn up, she feels hazy, and she can't think straight.

"I told you to run, or I had to kill you. And now I have to kill you." he hisses. "So, tell me, who wants to go first? No, wait, let me pick. I want to kill Johanna first, because she's such a huge pain in my ass."

He lunges forward at her viciously, like an animal, but his eyes are filled with emotions belonging to humans. His icy eyes swirl with an honest guilt and a real regret. Damon grabs her by the arms, forcefully shoves her neck to the side and lifts his head back so he may bite down in her neck. Seconds later, he's thrown to the ground and he looks up to find Elena crouching down over him.

"GO!" Elena shouts.

Jeremy grabs Johanna by her right hand and drags her forward, pulling her with him. Matt keeps up, remaining closely by their sides as they continue running forward through the grassy fields in search of somewhere to hide.

"Damon-" she tries to plead with him.

He throws her backwards, but not harshly because he doesn't want to hurt her.

"I don't want to hurt you, Elena, but I have to kill you if you don't leave me alone."

"Then don't." she says softly. "Don't hurt me, and don't hurt them. I know you, Damon. I know you're strong enough to fight this, I know you can do this."

He turns to face her slowly, the dark veins spreading beneath his eyes.

"Why?" he snaps back. "Because Stefan fought it?"

She shakes her head and steps closer to him.

"No, because you're strong, Damon. I know you are, and you know it too. You can stop it."

"I'm not Stefan, and I can't fight this. You're wrong, I can't stop it."

"You can!" she shouts.

"I can't!" he shouts back. "I can't stop it, Elena, and if you don't stay out of my way I'm going to stop kill you."

Damon disappears seconds later, following the tiny trail of blood that only a vampire could take notice of. He traces it with ease, and finds them still rushing forward. He darts forward quickly, anger building up inside of him as he does. They should have been smarter - they should have killed him, and now he's giving them the chance to because if they don't then Damon fears what will happen.

He is going to devour them, feast on their blood, and he is going to enjoy it because he has been compelled to but at the same time he will feel disgusted with himself, he will want to stop as he hears their cries, but he won't be able to stop.

In seconds he's found them.

He bears his fangs at them as his eyes return to the shade of red.

"I told you to run!" he shouts. "I told you to run fast, and you didn't, so now you're left with one choice. I know you have a stake on you, Johanna. Use it. You have the device of my destruction resting on you, and you need to use it or I'm going to kill you all."

Jeremy tries to reason with him. "You don't have to-"

"Shut up!" Damon hisses. "You know how this works. Compulsion isn't voluntary. I'm not going to be able to stop myself, you know that. You're hunters. You want to do this, you want to kill me, so do it!"

Johanna straightens up, slowly reading for the weapon in the back of her pants.

A thick, deep growl rises in Damon's throat. "Do it!"

The anger returns when no one moves.

"Fine, I'll give you a reason too."

He lunges forward at Matt, tearing into his flesh and swallowing his warm blood. Matt struggles under the hold, and then it stops. The sound of a bullet being fired rings through the air, and Damon releases Matt. He backs away quickly, retaking his place beside Jeremy. He looks down to his chest slowly, rigidly, finding blood pooling down.

Johanna stands behind Damon, the gun fresh in her hands. He turns around to her, the look of rage still in his eyes. Blood runs down his face. In this moment he resembles a wild animal; a vicious, blood thirsty, uncontrollable beast who wants nothing more than to kill her.

She's never felt truly afraid of him now, because she can see it in his eyes. He's going to kill her if they don't stop him, but that's not what she fears. She can see in his eyes that he's to kill Matt and Jeremy too, and she can't let that happen.

"Don't move, or I'll shoot again." she threatens.

Damon laughs weakly, coughing in pain. "You have to shoot me, or I'm going to rip your arms off."

No one moves or says a word.

"Kill me, or I'm going to kill you. It's as simple as that." he says.

They don't do it.

"You have to kill me!" Damon pleads. "Or I'll kill you all."

Still, no one moves.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." he hisses, his sharp teeth reappearing.

She shoots him suddenly. It hits him in the stomach and causes a loud groan to pass his lips. Damon slips down on to one knee, and glances up at her with maddened, empty eyes. He falls to his other knee, and in seconds he's kneeling on the ground before her.

"You know you want to do it." his voice is quieter, but it echoes with pain. "Remember what I said...Aim for the heart."

She drops the gun to his chest, aiming it directly at his heart.

"Johanna..." he almost cracks a smile, but the beast breaks through and the rage fills his eyes. "Do it!"

* * *

**A/N: Hello :)**

**Here's another, quicker update. Apparently, for some reason, I've found myself on a writing-roll (I don't think that's a word..) with this story and I've managed to write a lot of future chapters which is great. So, with future chapters built up I figured that I'd update a little faster now. Okay, so, with this chapter the only worries that I had (which I may have mentioned earlier) was that this was maybe too similar to what happened in the show (with Kol compelling Damon, Jeremy having to shoot Damon after he stalks after him at the bar.) so, that's why I'm still a little unhappy and nervous about this particular chapter BUT I love feedback (even if it's negative) and if you feel this resembles what occurred in the show TOO much then please, feel free to let me know just so I can work on that. I tried to make this my own, but it still felt kinda similar. This is probably the only instance that I'll be worried about it being too similar, as I really want to make this stand separate from the show and be Original. (ehh? see what I did there?)..**

**Anyway, onto other stuff, there are a couple cool things (IMO) coming up that I just thought I'd mention here like a teaser just to maybe get you excited about what's to come. Writing a bit of chapter 21 resulted in my favourite training scene yet, which involves just Damon and Johanna and it has a lot of bonding and progress (and it's intense) which was really fun to write. Oh and there's a lot of banter too, so I really can't wait for you to read that one. In future chapters, there will be flashbacks of her past because what I've created I think is pretty interesting and I look forward to you finding out. Secrets will be revealed soon. (What secrets? I hear you asking.) You will see, and they won't necessarily be the BIG one that you're probably thinking about. There will be more Ghost-Ric (because I love writing that) but the next time he comes will be very different than the last time. He'll be coming on with a purpose this time. Matt/Johanna/Jeremy (Aka. Team Human) bonding to come as well as bonding for Johanna and Rebekah..**

**Oh, another thing (sorry about the really long AN..) I've been considering compiling suggested songs (that I listen to while writing this, or think go well with each chapter) to listen to while reading the chapter and if you're interested in me doing that then let me know. :)**

**Okay, so this turned out long. -end of ramble. Thank you for reading my story, I appreciate it very much, and a special thanks to Aeon Echelon, lilsis321, SophStratt and Alsynea for their kind reviews of chapter 16. :) If there's anything particular anyone would like to read at all, feel free to leave a comment about it or PM me. I'd love to hear from you, and try my best to incorporate it.**

**Enjoy! **

**X**


	18. Silver lungs

******Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_You need to know that someone cares about you._

The stench of blood is heavy in the air as he wakes to it slowly. Damon's body aches, leaving him feeling broken. His head throbs and feels very heavy, and when he tries to rise a pain hits him and he groans loudly. His eyes open slowly, and he looks up to find his brother standing before him with a smug smile on his face

"What..." Damon quietly starts.

He quickly falls silent, and begins to cough badly and loudly. It takes him a moment, but finally he is able to speak again.

"What am I doing in here?"

Stefan sighs. "Oh, Damon. You don't remember? You tried to kill Jeremy and Johanna."

Damon begins to cough again, this time it's deeper and harsher and causes his eyes to water.

"We have to keep you in here until we can break the compulsion." Stefan announces.

"That's easy." Damon groans. "Just get Kol to de-compel me."

"Oh, yeah." Stefan scoffs. "That sounds real easy. You just wait here, and I'll get right on to that. Wait, do you want me to do that before or after we get Klaus to bake us those cookies?"

"How difficult can it be?"

"Pretty difficult, considering Kol and I had a run in and he put a metal pole through my chest." Stefan snaps back.

Damon sighs loudly, groaning with pain. "Well, he's a bastard, what did you expect? Wait, is that why it took you so long to get here? I really could have used your help, Stef, before I almost killed those two and chowed down on Matt."

"Sorry, I was a little busy being impaled."

After raising his head slightly, Damon looks down at his body and then slowly takes in his surroundings. He realizes now that he is soaking in a pool of his own, fresh blood. He quickly becomes pissed off.

"What, you seriously thought the best way to keep me down was to bleed me out?" Damon angrily asks.

"Yeah, well, you can be pretty dangerous when you're compelled."

"I can be pretty dangerous when I'm pissed, and I'm pissed now if you can't tell."

"Well..." Stefan smiles. "This is the easiest way, and from where I'm standing you don't look too dangerous right now, Damon."

Damon breathes out heavily, shutting his eyes as he sets his head back down against the ground.

"How did I get here? I thought...Johanna. She should have shot me."

"She did shoot you, several times." Stefan answers instantly.

"She should have aimed for the heart."

"Well, she didn't." Stefan begins walking towards the door. "She shot you in the head, and that's why you're here now. Enjoy the rest, Damon. Maybe spend some time reflecting, on why it is you always drag me into life threatening situations with the Original Vampires in this town."

Damon tries to call out to his brother as he leaves the cell, but the words barely escape his lips. Seconds later, the door is shut again and Damon is left alone in the darkness.

* * *

The sunlight streams through the blinds when Johanna wakes in the morning. She shifts slightly in the bed, casting her eyes around the room. She finds herself back in Elena's bedroom, and she quickly stiffens up when the memories of the previous night return to her. Immediately, she regrets this movement as it results in a sharp, stabbing pain hitting the side of her stomach.

Johanna pulls away the blankets, that cover her body, and looks down to find that she's still dressed in the same, blood stained clothes as last night. She lifts up the bottom of her shirt to find that her stomach has been cleaned and re-bandaged. Her left hand rises to her neck, and she pats it gently to find there is now a bandage on both sides where Kol bit her.

The realization that all of her rings are gone dawns upon her, and her eyes frantically skim the room in search of them. She carefully slides from the bed and moves towards the bathroom, soon finding the rings resting safely on the sink. Relief runs down her, and she sighs heavily. Johanna returns to the bedroom to find a bag of clothes at the end of the bed, which she hadn't noticed before. She searches through the bag and pulls out a green shirt, which is for some reason stained with dark blood.

Johanna drops the shirt and backs away, glancing down at her bloody hands. Moments earlier they were clean, free of blood, and now they were the stains of the previous night. She returns to the sink, rushing toward it. After twisting the tap on she scrubs harshly at her skin, but the blood won't fade or wash away. Her breathing becomes heavier, and she shuts her eyes tightly for a moment in an attempt to find some sort of calm.

_"The days aren't discarded or collected...They are bees that burned with sweetness or maddened the sting."_ she quietly whispers.

Seconds later her eyes reopen, and she finds that the blood has vanished. Her hands are clean again. Slowly, she returns to the bedroom and picks up the shirt from the ground. It is also free of blood, and it leaves her confused for a moment before she changes into a short sleeve, dark green shirt, a pair of black jeans and boots. Johanna slides her rings back on, washes her face, and then decides to walk downstairs.

She takes the stairs slowly, reaching for the railing to support her as she moves down them.

Her voice rises in the silence. "Hello?"

An unfamiliar voice responds.

"Hello, Johanna."

She spins around in the direction of the voice, turning quickly to find the speaker standing on the top of the staircase. She gasps at the sight of the Hunter, whose green eyes stare at her. His chest runs with blood, and the blade still sticks out of it.

"Are you surprised to see me, Johanna?" he asks. "We weren't able to be properly introduced earlier because you killed me. My name is Vincent."

He takes a step closer to her, a deadly smile still resting on his face.

"Are you ashamed of yourself? Disgusted with what you've done, and who you are? You should be. The first female Hunter of the Five, and what a disappointment she is."

Matt breaks through the deadly delusion, and returns her to reality.

"Johanna?"

She turns around quickly, finding him at the bottom of the staircase. After an initial moment of hesitation, she walks down it quickly and wraps her arms around her neck. He smiles and hugs her back. He keeps one hand against her back, and holds his mug of coffee in the other.

"Hey," he says quietly. "It's good to see you too."

She breaks the embrace, and smiles weakly. "You too."

"You shouldn't be up yet. Meredith said you needed rest."

Johanna shakes her head. "I'm fine."

She can see in his eyes that he doesn't believe this, but he doesn't fight her. Instead, he smiles kindly.

"You want a coffee? I'll make you one."

"I'm fine." she refuses.

"You sure?

"Yep."

Her eyes briefly dart up towards the top of the stairs, and she finds that the bloody hunter is gone. No waves of relief wash over her, because for some reason she can't fight the feeling that he's not done with her yet.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Matt. You should check on Jeremy." she answers quickly. "I can make my own coffee."

"This is for him." Matt's smile falters. "Jo, I think...We, er..Need to talk about things."

She breathes out heavily. "Can we talk later? I'm just..I'm tired."

"Sure, if you want."

Matt watches as she turns away from him and begins walking slowly towards the kitchen. The smile disappears from her face when he's out of sight, and she steps inside the kitchen to find that it's empty and clear of blood. Still, no relief washes over her.

Seconds after entering the voice returns.

"If I were alive, I would kill you myself." Vincent hisses in her ear.

She quickly spins around and finds him standing next to her, blood dripping down his chest. Blood pools at his feet, and runs over her. It stains him and begins to soak her. Vincent reaches for the knife on the sink, gripping it firmly he raises it above her head and then forcefully presses it down into her neck. She cries loudly, as they struggle for the knife. Johanna is unable to grasp it, to take it from him at first, and so he is able to press it deeper in her skin.

Hot tears trickle down her face, and another painful cry rises in her throat as they continue to struggle.

Matt runs down into the kitchen, with Jeremy by his side. When they enter the kitchen they are faced with a painful sight; Johanna standing in front of the sink, holding a knife into her own neck.

The hunter was never really there, he disappeared as her eyes closed. He wasn't the one who placed the knife in her neck, he was. Vincent convinced her to do this, he haunted her into harming herself and she had no idea. It all felt so real.

"Johanna!" Jeremy shouts.

He moves to her side just as she knife is pulled from her neck. She drops it to the ground, and shakily reaches for the sink to steady herself. Her legs almost give out on her, but Matt manages to reach her side in time. He just catches her, slipping his arms around her securely.

"I got you." he promises.

She breathes out shakily and heavily.

Jeremy scoops up a cloth, folds it in half and then presses it against her neck.

"What the hell happened?" Jeremy asks.

"I don't...I don't know."

The two share a look, and she catches it.

"I didn't do this to myself." she snaps.

Matt slowly helps her stand upright, but he keeps his arms around her because he's almost certain she won't be able to stand on her own right now.

"I saw him, okay? Didn't you?"

Identical frowns form on their features.

"See who?" Matt asks quietly.

"Vincent. You're telling me you didn't see him on the stairs, or in the kitchen?"

Vincent returns when she mentions his names, dripping heavily with blood.

"They can't see me because they didn't kill me. They aren't guilty like you are, Johanna." he says cruelly.

She fights to back away from him, to break from Matt's holds, but his arms only tighten around her and he soothingly tells her everything will be fine.

"He's right there." she points at emptiness.

Jeremy swallows tightly. "Who is Vincent?"

"I killed him."

For a second Jeremy pauses, as it starts to make sense to him. He's seen these signs before.

"At the bar?"

"He tried to kill me, so I had to stop him."

"Johanna." his voice becomes softer. "Was Vincent like you? Was he a Hunter of the five?"

Her voice becomes strained. "Yes, he was."

"And you killed him?" Matt asks.

She answers a moment later.

"Yes."

* * *

Stefan glances up to the doorway of his bedroom to find Elena resting there, with her arms crossed over her stomach and a stressed expression resting on her face. He casts a brief look over her, before briefly turning away. He's quick to assume that she's worried because of Damon's current situation, and he doesn't really want to talk about that with her.

"Damon's downstairs." he answers. "You can't see him because he'll ask you to let him out, and you will because you don't have a choice. Then, he'll kill Jeremy and Johanna. So, before you ask, no. You can't go down there, Elena."

She releases a heavy sigh. "That isn't what this is about. It's not about Damon."

He turns around rigidly. "What is it about, then?"

Elena pauses. "It's about Johanna."

"What about her?"

"Uh...Jeremy just called." Elena answers slowly, her eyes meeting his eventually. "They're on their way over, because she killed someone."

Stefan's frown deepens. "I don't understand?"

"She killed a hunter, Stefan, and she's already suffering from the curse."

A loud, deep sigh passes Stefan's lips as he raises his hands to his head. He runs his hands over his forehead and through his hair, before they fall down to the back of his neck.

"How bad is it?" he finally speaks.

"Well, considering she's already seen the hunter and he's already tried to get her to kill herself...Not good."

The worry is clear in her voice, and without thinking Stefan moves to her side.

"Hey." he says, with a surprising softness. "She'll be okay. You were."

"I was only okay because I had you -" Elena halts, briefly turning away. "Jer thinks it's hitting her harder because she's a hunter, and killed one of her own. He thinks it'd be best to put her in one of the cellars."

"So, she can't harm herself or anyone else? Good idea." Stefan nods. "It makes sense that it would hit her harder. I mean, we know that vampires under the curse are deadly but we've never seen a human under it - especially not a human who's a vampire hunter. Vampires want to kill more while cursed, they're completely different. It'll be the same with her, except she'll probably want to kill vampires. I'll keep an eye on her."

Elena sighs deeply. "I've been through what she's going through, Stefan. I can help her."

"How, Elena?" he snaps back. "How could you possibly help her without risking yourself? You can't go down there, because Damon will call out to you and you will go to him. He will talk you into letting him out, and then he will kill your brother and your friend. You can't risk their lives. You have to stay up here, okay? For Jeremy's sake, and Johanna's."

She gives in. "Okay, fine, but keep an eye on her. Please. It's difficult."

"I will."

* * *

The journey to the Boarding House is short, and once they have arrived Johanna exits the truck slowly with Jeremy by her side. He helps her down, and once her feet are on the ground he turns and leads the way to the front door. She follows after him, pressing the cloth against the wound on her neck.

The three of them had agreed that their priority right now was getting her here, and down in one of the cells. Then, once she was safely inside, her injuries could be fixed and tended to.

Stefan greets them at the door, a kind and reassuring smile on his face. He asks Jeremy to stay upstairs with Elena, while he offers to guide her down to the cells. Matt joins them, after sharing a silent exchange with Jeremy. Stefan leads the way, followed closely by Matt and Johanna.

"Am I going to get an explanation about why I'm down here again?" she asks, the words slipping out.

A smile tugs on Stefan's lips, because he knows that she was the one who broke the window to get inside.

"Again?" he asks.

"You're avoiding my question." Johanna answers.

Stefan doesn't hesitate. "You're down here because you're suffering from the hunter's curse, it happens when you killed a hunter. Everything that you've seen so far hasn't been real. They've been hallucinations, and they'll only get worse, so you need to be down here for your own protection."

"Does it pass?"

He breathes out quietly. "Eventually, it does. It might take some time."

Damon's voice breaks through the silence. "Stefan? Is that Johanna?"

Stefan ignores his brother, and reaches for the door of the cell directly across from Damon's. He unlocks it, pushes it open, and turns to Johanna as he waits for her to enter. She briefly looks up at him, before taking a step inside. Stefan has to move and stop Matt from entering, by pressing his hand against his chest and shaking his head slightly.

"You can't go in."

"Stefan?" Damon's voice returns.

"She's bleeding, Stefan. Someone needs-" Matt starts.

Stefan stops him. "I'm sure Johanna is quite capable of caring for herself. It's safer if you stay out of here, you shouldn't be down here at all."

"Johanna?" Damon calls out.

He continues to go ignored, no one paying attention to his words just yet.

Matt reluctantly passes the First Aid Kit to Stefan, who smiles at him and steps inside the cell. Stefan sets the kit down inside, on the floor, and steps back to lock the door. He finds her standing in the middle of the room, her eyes slowly skimming over her surroundings.

"We'll be right out here." Stefan tells her, looking at her through the bars in the door. "Try to get some rest, and sleep through it."

"Stefan, listen. Come here." Damon says weakly. "I just want to know...What is wrong with you? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you bring her down here? Now, I just want to kill her even more!"

Stefan leans forward, and looks in on his brother through the bars. "She's cursed, Damon."

Damon groans loudly as he tries to sit up, but fails.

"What?"

"She killed a hunter." Stefan responds.

"Oh, that's great. Just what we need." Damon sighs loudly. "I know what to do, I've dealt with this before. First, you need to let me out and I can help her. Let me out, and I'll help her, Stefan. You can't let me out, or I'll kill her - killing her will help her. I know what to do, and you can't let me out because I'm going to tear her head off."

"Oh, don't worry, Damon. I have no intention of letting you out just yet, not until the compulsion is broken anyway."

Seconds later, Stefan disappears from the bars and joins Matt in the hallway. They move slowly back upstairs, leaving Damon and Johanna in the silence and loneliness of their cells. Hours could pass, but they don't really have a concept of time down here.

Damon's strength continues to grow weaker, while Johanna fails at finding sleep and tears off her coat as her body continues to heat up. The blood keeps returning to her. It stains her body, drips off her clothes, and covers the walls around her. She eventually tends to the wound on her neck, cleaning it first, rubbing an antibiotic ointment into it and then bandaging it with a fresh roll of dressing. The wound is sore and tender, but she doesn't complain and quickly bandages it up.

He calls to her, and she almost thinks it's another hallucination.

"Johanna?"

Her body stiffens up and she stands quickly, from where she had previously sat pressed against the cool wall.

"Damon?" she returns, her voice much quieter.

"Finally!" he shouts back. "You can hear me, now?"

"You're real."

"Of course, I'm real." he answers. "I need you...To do something. Walk to the door of your cell."

She follows his voice, and walks cautiously towards the cell door. Johanna looks through the bars to find Damon, clinging to the bars with his hands. He's holding his body up by clinging to the bars. He looks straight at her, and speaks again.

"You're up, finally. Look, I need you to do something."

She frowns instantly. "What?"

The wariness is clear in her voice.

"I need...I need blood."

"How do you expect me to get you that?" she snaps back. "When I'm in here? I can't walk through locked doors and walls, Damon."

"I didn't ask you to do that! Look, you should cut a vein and let it shoot over." he stops quickly, noting the quick change of her expression. "Come on! I don't actually want you to do that! You have a first aid kit in there, right? I heard you using it before."

"Yes."

"There's got to be like, a bottle or vial of something in there. Right?"

"Maybe. I don't-"

"Go look."

She sighs loudly and walks slowly back to the kit, still sitting on the floor.

"Tell me what's inside the box." Damon shouts out loudly.

Once she has lifted the lid up, she kneels down on the dirty ground and begins to skim over the contents.

"There are sterile pads, bandages, splints-"

"Are there any bottles, Johanna?"

"Yes, there are a few bottles."

"Pick one, tip out the contents and then, if you'd be so kind, fill it with blood."

She picks up the smallest bottle, tips out the contents and then tries to wipe out the inside to remove the remaining liquid. Once it's clean she grips a pair of scissors in the kit, that she'd only just noticed, and draws in a sharp breath of air before she cuts her palm open. It stings immediately, but she doesn't focus on that and instead places her palm over the opening of the small bottle and allows her blood to spill in.

Complete silence remains between the two of them, while she fills the bottle and then screws the lid back on. She wipes her hand, cleans the small cut and then places a bandage over it.

Damon stays in silent as he hears her footsteps moving back to the cell door. He can barely stand up as it is, and is finding it incredibly difficult to cling to the bars of the door. She returns eventually, her face reappearing through the bars, holding a small bottle with blood in her right hand.

"Now you can't say that I don't do anything for you." she breaks the silence.

Damon tries to smirk, but it comes off as more of a grimace.

"Let's call it even, for you shooting me in the head. I had to pull all of the bullets out, and I can tell you now that it hurt like a bitch."

"Or you could just say thank you."

"Fine." he sighs. "Thank you, now toss it over."

She leans closer, sliding her arms as far as she can through the bars. "Step back."

Damon steps back. "Try not to miss."

"You know, it's a little difficult-"

"Just throw it." he answers quickly. "Please."

She readies herself, shifts slightly in her stance and tosses the bottle through the air. It goes flying, and almost makes it inside. It hits the bar, and almost bounces away to the ground but Damon just manages to grip it with the tips of his fingers and once he is holding it in his hand relief and gratitude falls over him.

"Thank you, Johanna." he answers quietly.

A voice not belonging to Damon speaks next, and only Johanna hears it.

"Did you truly think that, by locking yourself in this tiny room, you could escape me?" Vincent reappears, grinning wildly.

She spins around and finds him standing in the cell.

"What do you want?" she shouts angrily.

"Nothing! I'm good now, thanks to you." Damon answers, assuming she's speaking to him.

He happily and eagerly removes the lid from the bottle, he takes a sip from it and allows the warm liquid to run down his tongue.

"You tried to kill me! What was I supposed to do, let you kill me?" her voice rings in the silence.

Damon, assuming she's talking to him, grunts loudly before briefly pulling the bottle from his lips. "Oh, come on! I thought we were making progress. I thought we were past that."

"You are a disgrace to your family." Vincent hisses cruelly.

"My family?!" she replies.

For a moment, Damon doesn't understand or pay much attention. He swallows the remaining contents of the bottle, the blood smearing over his face as he drinks it eagerly. He reminds himself to thank her later, and then freezes when he hears her speaking to herself. It all comes together now. The hunter is back here with her. He's returned to haunt her.

"Stefan!" Damon shouts out, returning to the bars. "You might want to get back down here, Stef."

Vincent steps dangerously closer, a poisonous venom dripping from his words and swirling in his dark and hollow eyes.

"You should never have received your mark! It was intended for a soul better than yours. A stronger soul. It was destined for Alaric Saltzman."

She paces in her cell, stepping back from him. "Do you really think I wanted this? This life? To lose what I did?"

Damon continues to try and call out to her, to reach her, but he fails. "Johanna?"

All that she can hear are the hunter's cruel, painful words.

"He died before it could be bestowed upon him, and so it was passed on to you. How disappointing and tainted you are, Johanna. Turning on your own, for the likes of these savage monsters." he taunts.

And then he leaves her, just like that, but she isn't left alone for long because seconds later Alaric appears covered with blood.

"He's right." Ric speaks up. "You know, everything that he's saying is right."

"Ric?!" she clasps her hands to her mouth. "Oh, Ric."

"Great! Now, she's seeing dead people. We really need you down here, Stefan!" Damon's voice grows louder.

He is quickly answered by Stefan, who soon shows up in the hallway in the middle of their cell doors.

"I'm here, Damon." Stefan answers, sharing a brief look in his brother's direction before he turns to her cell.

Then, Stefan halts suddenly and turns back to face Damon.

Johanna's voice rises in the darkness. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this."

"Damon." Stefan turns serious.

He takes a longer, closer look at Damon as if only now he has noticed what covers his face. Blood. It's smeared all over Damon's chin, and his lips, and his eyes are filled with a spark that he didn't previously he had.

"How did you get that blood?" he frowns deeper, leaning in closer.

"I don't think that matters-"

"Of course it matters. How the hell did you get blood in there?"

"Johanna's seeing dead people, Stefan. I think that takes priority."

"We're not finished here." Stefan calls out.

Damon sighs loudly. "I think we are."

Alaric takes a step away from Johanna, disgust filling his eyes and spreading over his face. She tries to reach out to him, to hold him closer, but he won't allow her anywhere near him. Seeing him like this, so disappointed of her, causes her great pain.

"How could you do this?" he asks. "How could you kill the lives of human hunters, but spare the lives of vampires?"

"I'm sorry, Ric." she says quietly. "I'm sorry, he was going to kill me. I didn't have another choice."

Ric takes another step away from her, like he can't stand to be near her. "You disgust me."

"You don't mean that." she answers.

Stefan watches her for a moment, before speaking softly. "Johanna, it's okay."

Suddenly, Matt appears unannounced by Stefan's side.

"Let me go in." he says. "She won't hurt me."

"Oh, sure. Let the quarterback in, but don't let me in." Damon snaps.

Stefan ignores Damon, and turns to face Matt.

"You don't know that, Matt. I can't let either of you in there."

"You can't stop me." Matt reaches for the lock and slides it open. "I trust her, that's enough for me."

She spins around quickly and turns to find Matt standing in front of her with kind eyes, and a small smile resting on his face. But she doesn't think that it's real, instead she immediately believes that it is just another hallucination.

Johanna backs away from him. "You're not really here. You're just like them."

"I am here." he promises. "I'm real. Okay? I promise."

She clutches at her aching forehead. "If you're real, then why is the blood still here? Why is my head aching, like it's going to split open? I feel like I'm drowning in blood, and I can't breathe. I can't get out, and it's all over you too. How can you be real, if you're covered in blood too?"

He inches closer. "I'm not covered in it, Johanna. You're not either."

Her eyes widen. "What's the cure?"

An instant frown creeps over his face. "I don't know what the cure for this is."

"No, not for this. The vampire, before.." she begins to pace anxiously. "He said that Damon was finding the cure for Elena. The cure. I don't know what that means, and I don't understand what's happening to me. How can I stop this? Why can I see Ric? Did I die? Tell me, what to do. Tell me...What's happening to me?"

"You're going crazy, that's what happening!" Damon shouts back loudly.

Stefan sighs. "Not helping, Damon."

"Yeah, because you two are doing a terrific job in there." he snaps back.

Matt inches a little closer to her. "You're going to be okay, I promise."

Johanna shakes her head quickly. "What is the cure for? Is it for this curse? Please, you have to make it stop. I can't do this anymore."

Her hands reach out for his and she takes them, holding them tightly. He half smiles, pain filling his eyes. Then she sees it, the blood that now runs down his hands because of her. The sound of Alaric's voice, and the sight of this fresh blood, causes her to jump back and release Matt's hands.

"He can't stop it, but you can." Alaric says quietly.

Matt tries to help her. "It's okay, Johanna. You're going to be fine."

He tries to promise her, but it's a weak promise filled with such uncertainty.

"I don't understand." she answers Ric.

Her voice is filled with such innocence, like she doesn't know what he's asking her to do.

"There's a knife in your boot." the image of Alaric says. "You can end this, end this shame that is your life."

She shakes her head quickly. "I don't want..."

"Don't want to do what, Annie?" he smiles. "You don't want to be with me?"

Her breathing hitches. "Of course, I do. I do. I want to be with you more than anything, it's all I want."

"Then...Use the knife and join me." Alaric answers soothingly. "Join me, Annie. We can be together always, like you wanted us to be. You can join me if you use the knife, and end this. Make it end for me. You're tired too, aren't you? You're exhausted, and you deserve to sleep."

Matt continues to call out her name, and the seventh time she answers. Her head snaps up in his direction, and she finds him holding his hands out to her. She takes another step away, reaching down in the back of her boot. She pulls out the small switch blade and quickly lifts it to her chest.

"You can join me, Annie." Alaric promises.

"Whatever you do, don't move, Matt." Stefan says slowly, taking a cautious step inside. "Don't move, and don't frighten her."

Matt remains still and upright, his eyes firmly settled on Johanna as she continues to gaze off in another direction. He knows that she can see someone else that they can't see, and he believes she's seeing a hallucination of Alaric.

"Johanna." Stefan calmly continues. "All that you have to do is put the knife down."

She turns to him rigidly, fear building up in her eyes. "I can be with him this way."

"You can't join him, not like this. He's not real." Stefan answers instantly.

"You don't understand.."

"But I do understand, Johanna." Stefan says softly. "I understand exactly what it's like to feel empty, to miss someone with every inch of your being. I understand what it's like to know that you would do anything to see that person again, to be with them once more, but this isn't the way. This isn't going to work. You need to trust me, and put the knife down."

She shuts her eyes tightly but keeps the knife firmly in her hands.

"Trust me." he whispers.

The knife slips from her hands and falls to the ground. Stefan moves quickly, scooping up the knife and dragging Matt from the room in seconds. He turns back to look at Johanna, finding that she still continues to stand in the middle of the room with her eyes shut and palms curled up into fists.

"Try to rest. It'll be over soon." Stefan says soothingly.

But it isn't over soon, despite how badly she wants for it to be. The feelings don't pass, the hauntings continue to claim her, and the pain still eats away at her. Madness tries to enter her mind, and she continues to feel like she's burning up.

A voice calls out weakly to her.

"Thanks for the blood."

She slides down against the wall and draws her knees up to her chest.

"Did it help?"

There's a moment of pause before Damon answers.

"It did, then Stefan drained me again."

"Bad luck."

"You sound sympathetic."

"I don't really care, you're not the one being haunted." she snaps back.

He scoffs loudly. "Quit whining, it'll be over soon."

She grimaces and breathes inwards. "You say that like you've been through this."

"I haven't." Damon answers. "But I've been through something similar. It'll pass."

When the unmistakable sound of her breathing becoming faster, and less controlled, enters the air Damon decides to act.

"Close your eyes."

She listens and closes her heavy eyes.

"Slow down your breathing."

Her breathing slows down, and eventually becomes steady and calm. Soon she finds herself in the light soon. The light is warm, and calming, and it soothes her skin. Darkness is nowhere to be found, it doesn't surround her anymore, and she finds herself feeling relieved.

What she doesn't realizes is that Damon, in the cell across from hers, was able to project an image, a dream, into her mind to give her a moment of peace. He hadn't thought to try it hours ago, because the compulsions hadn't worked on her, but for some reason the mind manipulation had worked. Damon curses himself silently for not trying this earlier, because in the hours that had passed them by she hadn't stopped moving around, and she hadn't calmed down. It was stressful, and painful, and he'd admitted to himself that he didn't like hearing her like this.

Damon finally took her from the darkness and returned her to the light.

Soft lights surround her when she reopens her eyes. She finds herself down by a cool, running lake with large, willow trees hanging above her. The sound of nearby footsteps, and the rustling of leaves, causes her to turn around and she finds him. Alaric. Bathing in a soft, golden, morning light with a smile already resting on his face.

"Good morning, Annie." he greets her warmly.

Johanna immediately jumps up from her seat and runs to him. She wraps her arms around his neck and clings to him tightly, burying her head against his chest and holding him tightly. Alaric smiles and presses a soft kiss to her forehead, holding her tightly as he does.

"I missed you so much, Annie."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you." she holds him tighter.

"It's okay, we have time now. I promise. We can have always, just like we wanted."

"We can?"

He takes a step back from her, extending his hand to her as he does. A kind smile continues to rest upon his face as he speaks gently to her.

"Take my hand, and we can have always."

"Really?"

The image before her eyes flickers, like a candle almost burnt out. She tries to hold on tighter to the image, to her brother, but she can't and soon enough the sun disappears and the cell returns.

Damon is weaker than he usually is, and he wasn't able to keep her in the dream for too long. It took too much of his energy, and he needed to give her something smaller. Something easier. He instructs that she shuts her eyes again, but they're already closed.

It starts with a crack of light appearing through the bottom of the door. Her eyes stay trained on the light, and the door, as it is pushed open. Alaric steps through again, and this time it feels real. He walks to her, through shadows and light, and smiles.

"Annie, what have you done to yourself?" he smiles sadly, kneeling down next to her.

She tries to move from where she rests against the wall, but he quickly stops her and instead kneels down in front of her. After brushing her hair back off her forehead, he slides down against the wall next to her and shifts her so that she's lying against his chest.

His hands feel real, his breath against the back of her neck must feel real, so she convinces herself that it is real even though the deep pain in the pit of her stomach reminds her that it's not.

"You're really here." her voice is strained.

Ric slides his arms around her, before beginning to stroke her hair gently.

"I know it hurts a lot, but it will pass. The pain is bad now, but it will fade." he promises. "And when you does, you won't remember how it feels."

"I won't?"

"You won't." he answers, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"I can't believe you're here." she whispers.

Johanna slowly reaches for his hands and holds them tightly. "I thought I was all alone."

A smile tugs on his lips. "You're my family. Family is always."

"But I thought...You're gone."

"Never." Ric answers. "You'll never be alone, and I'm not really gone. I'm here for you because you need that, you need to know that I care about you."

"Please." she clings tighter to his hands. "Don't leave me. Not again."

"I never could." he tries to promise.

But Damon's strength wanes again, and he collapses down against the floor of the cell breathing heavily. He tries to find the strength to conjure another dream, but finds that he's too weak to. He hears her slight movements next door and knows that she's waking up. Damon had believed that by providing her with a false memory, a dream, that it may soothe her pain or ease her current state. He thought that she needed to know that someone cared about her, that it would help, but he only made things worse.

Johanna wakes to her true reality. A dim, bloody, cold reality. She finds that she's resting on her back of the cell, covered by the dirt. Alaric isn't here, and there isn't any light here. The blood still stains her, and her mind still throbs. She feels worse than she did before, and rolls slowly on her aching side.

Low, deep breaths of air enter her body as she tries to stop herself from breaking but she can't.

Damon shuts his eyes when he hears the unmistakable sound of a low, muffled sob escaping her lips. He's powerless, and he feels guilty. He did this to her, when he was trying to help her. They dragged her in to this. This is all his fault. This is their fault. They are to blame for this, and there's nothing that he can do now but leave her alone in the darkness that they rest in.

* * *

**A/N: Hi! Here's another quicker update, which I hope you enjoy reading. I apologise in advance for any spelling errors that I may have missed, if you find any please let me know. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my story, it means a lot to me. Special thanks to l****ilsis321, JoyScott13, Aeon Echelon, Alsynea, Sa****bine Christensen and SophStratt for their kind reviews of chapter 17.**

**Oh, and (as I recently was reminded by a friend about the hunter's curse) for the purposes of this story the hunters curse can only be inflicted on vampires AND then hunters as a punishment of what they have done to betray their own. I'm sorry about any confusion. Also, I know that hunters can't be compelled so, again, strictly for the purposes of this story hunters CAN, if in a weak enough state, have dreams placed on them (like Damon did to Rose, and almost did to Ric) but they still can't be compelled. I'm sorry, I know that this differs from the show and I hope you'll still enjoy reading it.**

**Also, I just wanted to say that there will be some flashbacks coming up in relation to Johanna, what she was doing before Mystic Falls as well as her and Alaric's childhood.**

**I've also decided to add a soundtrack/list of songs that I thought of and/or listened to while writing this and just thought I'd post on here if anyone was interested in knowing. With every chapter I update I'll probably add a song list (and there will probably be a few repeated songs).. **

**So, here are the songs; ****One Republic - Stop and stare, One Republic - Prodigal, Safety Suit - Gone Away, The Fray - Over my head, Sia - I'm in here and Paramore - We are broken.**

**Thanks for reading & I hope you enjoy. :)**

**X**


	19. Cursed time

******Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to it's respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_This is who I am._

Stefan walks downstairs and to Johanna's cell, unlocking the door and taking a small step inside. He finds her resting on the ground still, facing the furthest wall. Her legs are pulled up to her chest, and her arms are wrapped around herself. She's dusty, and dirty, and he knows that she's awake even though her eyes are tightly shut.

"How are you feeling?"

"He's gone." Johanna says quietly.

"Good." he answers. "So, you're feeling okay?"

"Fine."

"Hungry?"

Johanna hesitates before pulling herself upwards. She sits up and turns to face him, her hair messy and filled with clumps of dirt and blood falls in her face. After brushing it away she glances up, and meets Stefan's gaze with a small smile.

"I think it's over."

"That's good."

His eyes are drawn to her arms, and he finds small gashes running up and across the insides of her arms. She's covered with dry blood, and he didn't notice it at first.

"I don't see him, or anyone else, and the blood is..." she pauses, her eyes falling to her own hands.

This blood is real. It's sticky, and dry, and it's real.

"Mostly gone."

Stefan's eyes dart across the room until he finds the object he'd been searching for. A pair of silver scissors, small and covered with blood. They were in the medical kit that they put in with her, and they didn't think to check for scissors. He silently curses himself for making such a bad mistake. He kneels down by her side seconds later, taking her hands without asking he pulls out her hands and turns over her arms so he may view her wounds clearly.

His voice gets caught in his throat. "Why did you do this to yourself?"

Concern fills his eyes, and he looks up at her slowly. "Did someone tell you to? Did the hunter tell you to kill yourself?"

She swallows tightly. "No."

"Why?"

Johanna avoids his gaze. "Alaric told..."

Stefan stiffens up, falling silent for a second before he releases her hands and stands from the ground. He holds his hands out to her, and smiles.

"How about you come upstairs and have a nice, warm shower? We can get you cleaned up, and then you can have something to eat?"

She takes his hand, and he pulls her up. "No, thanks."

A slight frown flickers on his face. "You're not hungry?"

"No, not really."

"What about a shower?" Stefan suggests.

Johanna shakes her head, releasing his hand.

"I'm fine."

"It's normal to be in shock, Johanna, especially considering what you've been through with the curse and what happened." he smiles sympathetically.

"I'm not in shock."

"I think you need to clean yourself up, and then rest."

She smiles at him. "I slept well."

"You don't have to pretend that you're okay, if you're not. You've been through something traumatic."

"Traumatic?" she nearly laughs. "This wasn't traumatic, Stefan. Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine.

She steps past him slowly, feeling his eyes on her as he follows her out into the corridor. Her eyes stop on Damon's cell, and she pauses before turning to face Stefan.

"Can I have a minute alone, with Damon?" she asks.

He frowns slightly. "I don't think that's a good idea, Johanna. He's still compelled, and he's dangerous."

"Really?" she walks closer, peering in through the bars. "He doesn't look dangerous."

"I can hear you, you know." Damon's voice rises in the dark. "And I'm sure you don't look good right now either."

Johanna turns back to face Stefan, ignoring Damon's words.

"Please, just a minute. That's all I'm asking for."

Stefan sighs, and gives in. "Fine, I'll be right upstairs if you need anything. But don't go inside."

She waits until Stefan has disappeared from her sight before walking towards the door. Her eyes fall down to Damon again, and she finds that he's still resting on the ground. Lying down in a pool of his own, dry blood. Her fingers make their way down to the latch, and she slides it open before taking a step inside.

"You're making a mistake." he coughs, looking up at her weakly. "You shouldn't be in here.

Leaving the door open still, she takes small steps inside. She observes him silently, keeping a close eye on him.

"You look like crap."

"Looked at yourself?" he tries to sit up, but fails and falls back down to the ground. "You're such an idiot. I'm going to kill you, you know that?"

"You're weak." she crosses her arms.

Damon scoffs quietly. "So are you. Not just physically. Emotionally too. You let your guard down by coming in here, and that is by far the worst decision that you could have made right now."

Seconds later, Damon's up on his feet. The door has been shut, and he's slammed her against the wall.

"Scream and I'll rip your throat out."

She becomes rigid beneath his body, fear filling her, but she doesn't scream.

"You were..."

"Bled out to the point of exhaustion?" Damon cocks his head to the right. "Yes, I was. I still am, but my need to kill you is stronger than my weakened state."

"You don't have to do this, Damon." she tries to stop him.

"You have no idea-"

"You're compelled, Damon. I understand that."

"You don't." he looks at her with pained eyes. "You don't get it! I have to kill you!"

Damon brushes back bloody strands of hair off of her face, and tries to smile. "You should have stayed away from me. I'm dangerous. You knew that, you knew the risk. Didn't you? But you just couldn't stay away from me. You couldn't stay away from this town, could you?"

He lifts his arm up, and settles it against the wall behind her, trapping her in.

"I didn't have a choice, but you have a choice now." her voice turns softer. "You have the choice that I didn't get."

"What do you mean, you didn't have a choice?"

He needs her to distract him from the almost overpowering urge that runs through his body. Pumping through him like fresh blood. He wants her blood. He has to kill her. His only thoughts are of how he'll kill her, but he doesn't want to. Damon wants to let her run free, to save her, but he doesn't have the strength to let her break away right now.

"You..."

"What?" Damon snaps back.

His attention on her is waning, and his desire to rip into her is growing stronger with each passing second.

"You showed restraint, when you could have killed me. You didn't."

"But I would have, if Elena hadn't stopped me, and I'm going to because it's who I am...And even though I don't want to do this, I will and a part of me will enjoy it."

Her eyes shut tightly and she tries to steady her breathing. "I didn't have a choice because of what you did."

His hands fall to her throat, and he presses harshly against her skin. She tries to distract him, so she keeps speaking.

"You don't remember?" she asks, her voice almost a whisper. "You talked to me, for hours. I thought it was a hallucination, at first, but you talked to me and it helped. You helped me, Damon, and now I want to help you. I have to."

"Don't you get it?" he snaps, anger bubbling in his voice.

Her eyes open now and she finds that he's already watching her.

"I only talked to you to trick you, to try and lure you in here. And it worked."

"No, it wasn't that. It was more than that." Johanna counters quickly. "And you know that, Damon."

"You're looking for something deeper that's just not there!" he yells, his grip around her throat tightening. "You're searching for something that doesn't exist. A reason that isn't real. I tricked you, and it worked because I need to kill you. The compulsion is still on me, and you don't understand."

"Listen to me, Damon." she says softly.

"I can't!" he shouts over her. "I have to kill you. What about that don't you understand? This was always how it was going to end between us. There was never any way out. You and I, we were destined to kill each other or die trying...This our inevitable end. This is how it ends for us."

She swallows tightly, lifting her hands slowly up to his. She tries to drag his hands away from her throat, and it works but now his hands grip hers angrily and the rage returns to his eyes.

"You said 'us' like there's something more here..." Johanna says.

Damon looks up slowly, his eyes filled with a dark vulnerability. "Isn't there?"

She breathes out quietly. "Tell me, what do you think?"

He seems to consider this for a moment, before the familiar colour of red fills his eyes and he shifts. In seconds he becomes the deadly, dark monster that almost killed her but she doesn't move. Johanna doesn't move, or scream, instead she remains still as he releases her hands. His hands lift up to her hair, and he brushes it out of the way so he can view his neck.

"What I think?"

She can tell it's difficult for him to speak calmly now, and she tries to distract him further.

"Yes, Damon. Tell me what you think. Is there more here?"

"No." his voice becomes a quiet whisper. "I don't know, maybe. But I do know that this is it. And I have to kill you. What I think doesn't matter.."

"It does matter."

He leans in closer, and after feeling her struggling beneath his grasp he grabs her tightly and begins to run his teeth over the bruised, cut skin of her neck. Guilt becomes him. It washes over him, and he feels himself drowning in it. He breaks the skin of her neck with his teeth, two small puncture wounds, before he presses in and begins to allow the warmth of her blood to flow into his mouth. It's sickeningly beautiful. It tastes good, but at the same time it tastes bad.

"Damon..." she cries out quietly.

Her hands fall into his hair, and she tries to pull his head away but he only digs his teeth in deeper. She considers screaming out, or calling for help, but she knows that if she does that he'll kill her. Damon will fly into a rage, and kill whoever comes down here. She has to do this the safe way. Johanna has to protect herself, and him, so she does the only thing that she can think to do. She gives him the truth.

"I know what it's like to be compelled. I understand."

Damon doesn't stop, if anything he drinks her blood faster now. The pain rises, and she feels herself becoming weaker. Her head falls back against the wall, and several minutes could pass before she speaks again.

"Damon, I know." she says quietly. "I was compelled by a vampire."

For some reason this works.

He retracts his teeth and looks up at her, with his face covered with blood and his eyes still shaded red. The red fades from his face, but continues to drip from his chin.

"What?!" he hisses, the beast slipping through.

"I know what it's like to be compelled, and to want to break it so badly..."

"What makes you think I want to break this?" Damon almost growls.

"I know you don't care about me, but you care about Jeremy. He's like a brother to you, and you wouldn't hurt him. I can see it in your eyes, sometimes, when you look at him. You care about him." Johanna says, cracks of doubt slipping through the confidence in her voice.

"No, you're wrong."

She fights him still. "You do care about him."

"That's not what you're wrong about."

Damon doesn't have to say it, because she understands.

"You can break this-"

"You just said that.." Damon frowns. "You didn't have a choice."

"I couldn't break mine. I tried, but I wasn't strong enough. You are."

"You don't know that."

"But I do." she insists loudly. "You show restraint, all the time. I know you don't want to think this, or believe it, but your strength is in your heart where the people you care about are."

Damon scoffs loudly, more anger filling his eyes. "That sounds like crap."

"It's not."

"Who compelled you?" his eyes linger on her. "Who?"

"A vampire." she answers vaguely.

"You're lying." he hisses again.

Her eyes never waver away from his. "I'm not lying."

"Yes, you are. You're trying to distract me, and it's not working."

"Does his name really matter?"

"No, and neither does yours because soon you will be forgotten like the rest of the-" Damon stops suddenly. "I have to do this, you know that. So, why bother wasting my time? This is how you die, and there's no escaping this.

His teeth slide back in her neck, and he begins to feed from her, to bleed her dry. She shuts her eyes again, silent tears slipping down her cheeks as the painful memory flickers before her closed eyes. She draws in sharp, tight breaths of air while waves of dizziness rush over her. Eventually, she finds the strength to speak.

"The vampire compelled me to kill someone that I cared about, someone I loved." she admits quietly, tears still slipping down.

Her tears slip down her cheeks, and roll down her neck hitting his face. He freezes, keeping his hands wrapped tightly around her body. Damon doesn't pull away, and slowly continues to drink her blood. The words might just be enough, but they're not right now.

"I didn't remember doing it, because I was compelled. Then...It was like I woke up, and I was there and it was over. I was...Empty. The months after, there was a big, gaping hole in my chest because of what I did. I felt utterly empty. So sick and abandoned."

Damon halts, feeling more tears running down her cheeks. Something swells inside of him, and he retracts his teeth from her neck. His eyes lift up to meet hers, and he finds that her eyes are tightly closed. She's relieving it all. The pain, the sickness, the complete feelings of abandonment.

"I was so desperate to not feel anything that I felt everything." silent tears spill down still, and her entire body shakes beneath him. "I saw it happening, I saw myself killing this person that I loved, and cared about, and I felt...it all. I felt everything, Damon. His fear. My fear. The desperation. The absolute and complete need to stop what I was doing, like my life depended on it, and I couldn't. I couldn't stop, I wasn't strong enough, but I know you are. I know you're strong enough to beat this, you just have to want it hard enough. Your heart just has to want it. You just have find something you care about, and you have to cling on to that. I couldn't do that because I wasn't strong enough, and that's why I lost...You can't lose too, Damon."

The weight which had previously felt chained to his heavy shoulders feel like it has lifted slightly, before disappearing entirely. He releases her from his grip, and takes a slow, small step back away from where he had pressed her up against the wall. Damon watches in silence as her eyes open slowly, and she looks up at him.

Silence fills the air between the two, but it isn't awkward or uncomfortable. It's just silence.

"Damon. Is it..."

"Johanna, I'm so-"

He is abruptly cut short as he is thrown against the wall with a speeding force he soon realises is Stefan.

"What are you doing, Johanna? I told you to stay out of here." Stefan pins Damon to the wall. "Get out, now."

"I think it's broken, Stefan." she speaks up.

Stefan frowns and turns back to Damon, who he now notices is not violent or struggling to break free of his brother's hold. He's not raging forward, and trying to kill Johanna. He's complacent, and calm, and he's allowing Stefan to keep him pressed against the wall when he could try to break free.

"Damon." Stefan starts quietly. "If I let you out, will you kill Jeremy?"

He pauses. "I don't want to kill him."

Stefan observes his brother slowly, searching for the truth that he finds in his eyes.

"I don't want to kill Johanna either." he looks up. "What happened?"

"You don't want to kill them?" Stefan asks.

Surprise spreads over Damon's face. "No, I don't."

Damon peers past Stefan, looking directly at Johanna.

"You did it." the disbelief in his voice is clear. "You broke the compulsion."

Stefan releases his brother, and takes a step back. His eyes are also drawn to Johanna, who continues to stand pressed weakly against the wall. She looks at the brothers slowly, but remains silent.

"How?" Stefan asks. "How did she break it?"

Damon's lips part like he might speak, but he falls silent and finds that all he can do is watch her.

Suddenly, Stefan's phone rings and he quickly pulls it out. Damon glances down at the screen, and sees that Jeremy is calling.

"Jeremy, what's up?" Stefan answers.

Damon's eyes return to Johanna, where they rest comfortably for a moment. She did what he couldn't do, what even Elena couldn't do. She broke his compulsion. Somehow, she helped him to find the strength to do what he couldn't hours earlier.

"There." she stands upright. "You helped me, I helped you. We're even."

Stefan hangs up the phone, glancing between the two. "Kol's in a box, sleeping with a dagger in his heart. Jeremy just daggered him, and apparently once you dagger an Original all compulsions are lifted."

For a moment he doesn't want to believe it, but he gives in and speaks up.

"I could have told you that."

After lingering in the doorway, Johanna steps slowly out of the cell without looking back and returns to her cell to pick up her jacket. Damon silently watches after her for a moment, before turning to Stefan.

"So that means, Jeremy broke your compulsion. Not Johanna." Stefan says. "Speaking of Johanna, how was she last night? It seems like the worst has passed, for now."

"The worst?!" Damon scoffs again. "If I recall correctly, you weren't here to know what that was-"

Stefan didn't come down to the cells, as much as he should or could have, because seeing Johanna like this caused him to be overcome with guilt. This was their doing. They pushed her to do this, to be involved in this life, and as a result of this she had received the hunter's curse. Seeing her in this state reminded him of Elena's attempts at dealing with the curse, and all of this thoughts of Elena usually accompanied deep emotions and thoughts.

"I was just asking, Damon. You could do the normal thing, and just answer simply." Stefan snaps back.

Damon grows bored of this conversation, and changes the topic. "Sorry to drop this on you, Stef, but I'm not normal. So, wait..Jeremy staked him, huh? Atta boy. So, little Gilbert isn't entirely useless? That's a surprise."

"You wanted him to kill you."

He sigh and tries to walk away, because he wasn't asking for death. Damon was pleading for it, for them to shoot him and save their lives. Stefan blocks his brother's path, his eyes never wavering away completely.

"Damon."

"Get out of my way, brother." Damon answers quickly. "I've got a date with a couple of blood bags, and they don't like it when I'm late."

"He saved your life, just as much as you saved his."

Disbelief fills Damon's face. "He didn't save my life, and I didn't save his. All that I did was try to stop his ass from becoming vampire chow."

He glances once more at Stefan before he steps out of his cell and into the corridor. Damon's eyes are instantly drawn to Johanna as she steps out of the cells. He leads the way upstairs, she follows silently behind him with Stefan walking behind her.

Matt glances up from where he rests on the couch to find Johanna entering the room with Stefan trailing closely by her side. He looks the picture of concern, and she just looks empty. He stands immediately. Damon enters last, and he just looks annoyed.

"You don't have to leave yet." Stefan says.

"Hey." Matt smiles. "How are you feeling? Where are you going?"

She turns to face them. "Hunting."

"Ooh, yeah, real smart move." Damon sighs. "Real smart move, considering the state that you're in. You'll go hunting, they'll beat you, and then you'll die. Sounds good."

"Whoa, Johanna." Matt jogs quickly towards her. "You need to recover and rest. You were hurt."

She stops and turns to him. "Recovering is wasted time. We never recover, not really."

"Please, don't go." Matt pleads. "Just stay here, and rest."

"If you're so hell-bent on killing yourself through hunting, at least let me train you." Damon walks to her side. "You can kill more, if you're trained."

Johanna turns to him slowly, finding his eyes firmly settled on her. She realises now that this is the first time she's seen him in days, since the bar, and for some unknown reason she feels guilty for leaving him behind. When she fails to speak, he continues.

"Take a day and recover, despite how useless you claim that it is. Then, we'll reconvene at the lake house. We can restart training, in a couple days we'll go hunting."

Damon turns briefly to Stefan, who nods slightly which is his way of silently telling him this is a good idea.

She considers this for a moment before nodding. "Okay, fine. Matt, can I get a lift out of here?"

"Sure, I was heading to the grill anyway."

Damon frowns and almost rolls his eyes. "Don't you ever take a sick day?"

"I took all of last week off." Matt snaps back.

"Oh, yeah!" Damon exclaims. "I wondered what that constant pain in my ass was."

Matt ignores Damon's words, and turns to find Johanna has already disappeared outside. He shares a quick word with Stefan, before joining her outside. She waits for him in silence by his truck. He smiles at the sight of her, and he watches as she smiles back. It feel strange seeing her smiling like this, like everything is normal, when hours ago she was far from it.

Silence follows them on their journey to the Gilbert House. Once inside, Matt follows her up to Elena's bedroom where her bags still rests. She searches through the bags, pulls out a few items and cleans clothes, and then picks up her towel. Johanna hesitates, and turns around to find Matt standing uncertainly at the end of the bed. She manages a small, uncertain smile.

"Er, Matt..Could you just sit out here, and wait, while I'm in here?"

He nods, and takes a sit down on the bed. A smile creeps back on his face.

"Sure."

Once inside the bathroom, she closes the door and strips out of her dirty clothes. Rings slide off her fingers, blood stained bandages fall to the floor, and she's left standing in the icy air for a moment before her feet guide her to the shower and she soaks underneath the warmth of the water running down from it. Shaky hands wash bloody wrists. Fingers scrub at skin, removing dirt. Johanna cleans her hair, then her body, and then steps out of the shower.

She dries herself, dresses into a pair of black jeans, black heels and a long sleeve navy shirt. Clean bandages rest in a drawer by the sink, so she pulls them out and places them on her stomach, covers the cuts on her arms, and sets them down on her neck. Her body still aches, and needs time to heal. Her hair is knotty, so she brushes it and then pulls it back into a braid. Drying her hands first, she slides on her rings and then pulls on her black, leather jacket.

Matt looks up slowly when she steps outside, the smile returning to his face.

"You look better."

She nearly smiles with disbelief. "Really?"

"Really."

"Sorry, that I kept you waiting."

Matt shrugs. "You didn't, I don't start for twenty more minutes."

Silence hits the air between them, but he doesn't let it last long because he can't stand the silence.

"I'm glad you're okay." he smiles, and then pulls her into a tight hug.

She winces quietly, but he doesn't hear it. Her hands eventually fall to his back, and she embraces him tightly for a second before finally breaking the embrace and taking a step away. He watches her with such intensity in her eyes, that she almost feels uncomfortable. It's been so long since anyone has cared this much about her.

"Seeing you like that...It made me realise a few things."

"Like what?" her expression softens.

"Like, I care about you a lot. I don't want to lose you."

"Mm."

"And..." Matt draws out the words. "It made me think about what happened, back at the lake house. The night before."

"You remember?" she asks, watching as he shifts underneath her steady gaze.

"Yeah, I do, and I don't want things to be weird."

"I don't either." she answers quickly. "I just, need you to know that.."

"I didn't feel anything."

She watches him silently, as he tries to continue and fix the situation.

"I mean, of course I felt _something_...You're-You're...Clearly, you're-"

Johanna breaks out into a wide, real smile.

She knows what he's trying to say. He's trying to tell her he thinks she's attractive, but he doesn't feel that way for her.

"You too." she still smiles. "And it doesn't have to be weird if we don't want it to be."

"Really?" he smiles, a hint of hope in his eyes. "Because I just want to be cool."

"Really. But, there's something you should know first."

"What?"

"You called out to Rebekah."

Confusion sweeps over his face. "What?"

"Mm." she unfolds her arms. "When you were kissing me, you called out to her. You said you were glad Rebekah was there."

Matt's frown remains. "Uh, okay. Um...Thanks. Thank you for...Telling me that."

He quickly changes the subject. "So, you're going out?"

"Yeah, I could use a drink." she nods. "Some fresh air. Company that I don't constantly have the urge to kill. Can I come with you to the Grill?"

For a second he considers this, before smiling and agreeing because he can keep an eye on her at the Grill.

"Sure."

* * *

Damon walks into his bedroom to find Elena resting on the edge of his bed. He sips from the glass of blood in his hand, watching as she glances up to him and moves to his side. Relief spreads over her face, and she smiles.

"Damon, I'm glad you're okay." she wraps her arms around him.

He stands still, holding the glass in his hand still. "Couple of bullets can't kill me."

After a moment, Elena breaks the embrace and pulls away. She casts a slow, long look over him before settling her eyes firmly on him.

"You're sure you're okay?" she asks.

Damon nods his head slightly.

"How was Johanna, last night? I wanted to go down there, to see you both, but Stefan wouldn't let me because.."

"The sire bond?" he sets his eyes on her.

"No, because he thinks that I would listen to you."

Damon sighs loudly, keeping his thoughts to himself. _That is the definition of the sire bond, Elena._

She takes a slight step backwards. "I don't think we should do this, Damon."

He frowns immediately. "Do what?"

"Train Johanna. She almost died, Damon, because of us. This is what we got her in to"

"If I recall correctly, Elena, she was more than willing to walk into a bar with twenty-five vampires and kill each of them. If it weren't for Kol, then she would have. She made that decision, I didn't force her to go in there against her will. It was her decision."

Elena shakes her head quickly. "How can you say that? She suffered the hunter's curse! She almost died."

"Yeah, that's right. She almost died. But I think you're forgetting that, for some unexplained reason, she can't die. If you don't want to do this, if you want to back out now because you're feeling guilty, then do it. We'll back out, and I'll train Jeremy. We'll head down that path, but I can't promise you that he's going to return to you the same person. I can't promise you that he'll return at all, but that is the risk that we will have to take if we choose him."

She pauses briefly. "What about the risk we're taking with Johanna? We're risking her life, and she doesn't even know it. What about Alaric? He could be watching over us at any moment. Do you think he's going to like what he sees? Or what we're turning his sister in to?"

Damon turns his back on her. "Fine, Elena. If you want to stop, then we will. Jeremy will probably die, and you'll lose the only family you have left just because you're afraid of pissing off a dead guy. He sees what he wants to see, that doesn't mean he sees this. Have it your way, whatever the hell that is."

* * *

Rebekah glances up slowly, from her seat at the bar where three empty glasses filled with scotch rest. She finds Johanna moving in front the front door, walking down in her direction. Matt walks by her side, slowly taking her by the shoulder and moving so he's standing in front of her. She rolls her eyes and turns back to her drink, pouring herself a fresh glass.

"I thought you wanted human company?" he asks.

Johanna frowns slightly, noticing how agitated Matt already seems to be by the simple sight of Rebekah. She finds herself silently questioning why he seems to dislike her so much, but she doesn't ask him about it and instead smiles.

"You're my human company."

"And she is, what...You're friend?" Matt stammers.

Her smile falters now. "I don't know what your problem is with her, Matt. I know what and who she is. I just need someone to drink with."

"I thought you wanted to hunt." he whispers. "And now, you want to drink with a vampire?"

"I just need a drink. Okay, Matt?" she snaps back, a little harsher than she'd intended. "Can't I do that? Can't I have a drink after the day I had?"

"Sure." he takes a step back. "But if you need anything call out. Okay?

She watches him silently for a second, before moving down the small set of stairs and walking towards Rebekah. Her eyes skim over the room briefly, before she eventually joins her and slides down into the stool next to Rebekah.

"Let me guess, he told you to stay away from me?" Rebekah sighs loudly.

"Not just you. Vampires, in general."

"Mm." Rebekah answers, casting her eyes over her. "I can see why. You look terrible. What happened to you? Play feeding back to Elena?"

Her skin is marred with light scratches and cuts. Bandages rest on both side of her neck, and she looks exhausted.

"Not exactly. I just had a..."

Johanna tries to find a word to explain what happened with Damon, but she finds nothing.

"A close call, I guess." she sighs.

Rebekah smiles. "Sounds like you need a drink, and I know the perfect cure."

A frown flickers over her face. "What is the cure?"

Rebekah leans over the bar, picks up a full bottle of vodka, and then returns to her seat. After crossing her legs, she turns to Johanna and continues to smile.

"Shots."

"Who's Silas?" she asks.

Rebekah stops pouring the two shot glasses and looks up. "I'm sorry?"

"Silas."

"Yes, I've heard of him." Rebekah fishes pouring the drinks. "A story to frighten children. Why do you ask of him?"

Johanna remains impassive. "A vampire spoke of him, before he mentioned a cure. For what?"

"Kol?"

"Yes." she stops suddenly. "Wait, you know him?"

"Yes." Rebekah answers quickly. "Kol's back?"

"He was. I don't know where he is now."

Matt slides down a little, and wipes the bar. "He's in a box, where he belongs."

"You put my brother back in _that_ box?!" Rebekah asks angrily.

"Your brother is Kol?"

"Yes, one of four."

"He almost killed me."

Rebekah nods. "That makes sense."

"What does?"

"Why you look so bad, suddenly makes sense. Kol is..He can be a messy killer, because he doesn't care. Honestly, Johanna, I had no idea he'd returned or tried to kill you."

"He put a knife in my ribcage."

"Right!" Rebekah exclaims, picking up her glass. "I think we definitely need a shot."

They swallow their shots simultaneously, before settling the glasses down and exhaling.

"Why did he try to kill you?" Rebekah refills the glasses.

"Because I'm a hunter."

They swallow another shot, and Rebekah fills the glasses again.

"What is the cure."

"A story to frighten children. Where's Kol's body?"

"I don't know."

"How could you not know?" Rebekah asks, before they down a third shot.

"I killed a hunter. I was out for a few days..."

"You had the hunter's curse?"

"I didn't know what would happen when I killed him." Johanna answers.

"You know, my brother actually had the curse for quite some time. You got off lucky, he had it for decades."

"Which brother? Kol?"

"No, Nik." Rebekah answers, before pausing. "I think we might need something stronger than this, before we start speaking of such things."

"Okay." Johanna stands up. "I'm just going to the bathroom first."

"I'll look for something stronger." Rebekah calls back.

Rebekah stands from her seat and walks closer to the bar.

Matt speaks up. "What are you doing with her, Rebekah?"

Her eyes skim over the bottles laid out across the bar, before she finds a nice bottle of whiskey which she picks up. Ignoring Matt's presence, and he's intense glare, she smiles to herself.

"Ah, this should do."

"Fine, you know what? I don't care." he snaps.

She rolls her eyes. "You've made that clear, repeatedly, Matt. Nobody likes re-runs."

He leans in across the bar. "You can do whatever the hell you have to do, to try and make yourself feel better. Go on, and convince yourself that this isn't messed up and that you can be friends with Johanna even though you killed her brother. You can pretend that you're a good person, but you're not."

Rebekah glances up instantly, glaring at him now. "What I think that you're so conveniently forgetting, Matt, is that her brother was no longer human. He was a vampire. A very powerful Original, who was determined to kill the entire population which would have include your dear friend Caroline - and would have eventually resulted in poor Elena's death. Continue to hate me, if you will, Matt. You're going to, regardless of any apology I give, so I won't form one. Yes, there are things that I regret but he killed my brother. What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to do the decent thing, Rebekah. The right thing. You weren't supposed to kill Alaric, you weren't supposed to kill Elena. You weren't supposed to almost kill me. You're a bad person, Rebekah, and you'll never change regardless of whether you think you can. You're not capable of change."

Pain swirls in her eyes. "Oh, don't pretend that you're so good, Matt."

"What does that even mean?"

"Come on." she becomes calmer. "It's so blatantly obvious, that she's bound to figure it all out soon enough. She's not stupid, Matt. She's actually quite intelligent, and I'm certain all the pieces will come falling together soon enough. You're all using her, aren't you? For your own gains?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

He lies, and she sees right through it.

"Oh, but I do, Matt." Rebekah tilts her head to the side. "She is a hunter of the Five, who knows nothing of the curse of the hunters mark - yet she's being trained by vampires, living with a hunter, and being surrounded by vampires and witches who all know of this yet none of you have said a word. Quite strange, isn't it? Tell me, why is it that she's being trained? Convince me that it's not so you can use her mark, instead of Jeremy Gilbert's?"

Silence follows, and eventually Rebekah breaks out into a smile.

"Ah." she takes a step away. "I was right, wasn't I? Not that it's any of your business, but I find Johanna extremely tolerable. I enjoy her company, and consider her a friend. Do you know what friends do? They look after each other. So, you can expect me to come to the lake house to pay a visit on my friend to make sure that she's doing okay and isn't play feeding bag to Damon Salvatore or Elena. Friends also talk, so her and I might have a little chat about Silas, the hunter's mark, and all of which you're conveniently keeping from her. Oh, and one more thing, Matt - Before you start pointing at the blood on my hands take a look at the hands of those around you because I can assure you that they are dripping with blood."

* * *

**A/N: Hi :) First of, I just want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this story. Honestly, it means so much to me. I love writing this, and knowing that there are people who enjoy reading it is a great feeling. I was motivated by the really awesome reviews of the last chapter, so that's why this next chapter is here so soon. On that note.. A**** big, special thanks to the very kind reviewers of chapter 18; lilsis321, SophStratt, Alsynea, Julia & Guest :)**

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Chapter 19, huh? Can't believe I made it here!**

**The issue of who _really_ broke the compulsion will be revealed really soon. Was it Johanna? Was it Jeremy? What do you think? :) I'd love to know your thoughts. Hope you enjoy the Johanna/Rebekah bonding. Next chapter is another fave of mine, because there's a close Jamon moment. Anyway, thanks again & hopefully you enjoy!**

**My apologies for any spelling errors I missed re-reading this, if you find any please let me know. Also, the soundtrack was sort of thrown together last second because I didn't plan to update today but I still think these songs go pretty well with this chapter. Sorry, and there will be more songs specifically picked for the next chapters.. **

**Possible playlist/soundtrack for this chapter: One Republic - Mercy, Nikisha Reyes - So cold, One Republic ft. Sara Bareilles - Come home, The Fray - Cable Car, Life House - From where you are.**

**Guest reviews:  
****Guest 9/17/13: **Dear, Guest :) Wow, thank you so much. I'm so happy you loved it, and thank you so much for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. Thanks for reading. X

**Julia 9/17/13: **Dear, Julia :) Wow. Seriously, thank you so much for not only reading but leaving such a kind review. I'm so thankful that you take the time to read my story, I'm happy you love it & flattered that you'd even compared it to a professional writers work. Thank you so much, I really hope you enjoy this new chapter. :)

**X**


	20. A wolf in a mask

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_The lies catch up to you, the longer you keep lying to yourself about who you are._

Elena rests at the table inside the kitchen, with a warm mug of coffee in her hands. Jeremy sits across from her, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate, when Matt's truck pulls up outside the house. Minutes later, Matt and Johanna enter slowly and silently. Silence passes, until Elena stands and places her mug down on the table.

"Johanna. Can we talk outside?"

She nods and silently follows Elena outside, towards the long wooden seat on the porch. She takes a seat next to Elena, who watches her closely with a frown of worry creased on her features.

"How are you feeling?"

Johanna smiles. "I'm fine."

"Good." Elena nods quickly. "I just wanted you to know that I would have come down, to see you, but Stefan didn't think.."

"I don't need an explanation from you, or an apology, Elena." she assures her. "If that's where you're headed. It's probably best you didn't come down."

Elena shifts slightly in her seat, feeling the guilt returning to her.

"I've been through the hunter's curse, and it was horrible. I thought, maybe, I could have helped you through it."

"That's kind, Elena, but I don't think you would have been much help to me...Considering the state I was in."

She sighs shakily and settles her hands down in her laps. "I never wanted this to happen to you. You didn't deserve."

Johanna turns to face her and smiles. "Elena, really, you don't have to apologize. This isn't your fault. Okay?"

"Damon didn't mean to hurt you either, or Matt. He didn't, and with everything else.."

"I don't blame you, or Damon." she answers quickly. "I don't blame anyone, I see this as an experience to learn from. But, with that said, I don't really see the need to talk about it."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Elena asks, guilt lingering in her eyes.

"I am." she nods. "Out here it's peaceful, and I feel good."

"You can stay for as long as you need." Elena offers kindly, smiling weakly.

She observes Johanna, who shifts in her seat and releases a shaky sigh.

"There's something I need to say to you, Elena."

"Sure." Elena smiles, but her body stiffens up. "Anything."

"Thank you." she breaks out into a sad smile. "For letting me stay here, and in your home, and thank you for caring for Ric while he was here."

Elena's smile widens, and her eyes begin to fill with tears. "If anyone was doing the caring for, it was Ric. He looked after us."

She settles her hand down on Elena's. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. I just miss him, that's all. I think about him everyday, and miss him, and you're a reminder. I just miss him so much." she squeezes Johanna's hand back. "But you're not a bad reminder. You're a good one."

After a second of hesitation, Elena turns to Johanna and wraps her arm around her neck. She embraces her tightly and warmly.

"You're a good reminder." she repeats, her voice now a whisper.

Johanna settles her hands down against Elena's back, and they hug each other for along time because they both need it. They both now know what it's like to endure the cure, and they need this hug. Eventually, the embrace is broken and Elena stands.

"Goodnight." she smiles. "Sleep well."

Johanna returns the smile. "Goodnight."

Once Elena has disappeared, Johanna stretches back against the seat and looks out to the moonlight lake. She rests in the calm, loneliness of the night finding peace in the silence. She closes her eyes, and feels like she might drift off, when she hears nearby footsteps. Her eyes stay shut, as the seat shifts and someone sits down beside her.

Her eyes open slowly, and she glances to the left to find Damon sitting next to her. A bottle of whiskey rests in his hands, and two glasses sit on his lap. He pulls off the lid, fills the glasses, and then turns to her.

"Don't think this is going to be a habit." he says. "If you're going to be a good hunter you need to be a clear minded one, not a hung over one."

She nods silently.

Damon holds the glass out to her, watching as she pauses before taking it and swallowing a small mouthful. The liquid is warm, and sweet, and she drinks a little more.

His eyes skim over her carefully.

"Hm." Damon grunts. "I thought that leather was predictable."

"Damon..."

Now he falls silent, continuing to drink from his glass as he watches her still.

"About the bar, when I left.."

Damon can hear the guilt in her voice, so he stops her before she can continue.

"Nah-uh." he's quick to answer. "You left because you had to, because you're a hunter and you kill vampires. You don't save them. Besides, I had it under control."

"Mm." she murmurs disbelievingly.

A wide smile cracks on Damon's hardened features, and she soon realizes it's the first time she's seen him genuinely smile.

"What?" he continues to smile.

She almost finds it sweet.

"You were the picture of the control, with a chunk of wood sticking out of your chest." she eventually smiles.

He finds her smile sweet, and he immediately feels slightly uncomfortable for thinking such a thing.

Damon laughs lightly. "I could say the same thing about you! With that blade sticking in your ribs...Really? You really thought you could kill an Original with a knife? That's dumb, even for you."

She hits him in the shoulder. "Hey! I was buying us time."

His words catch in his throat, and his smile disappears in seconds.

"You don't have to buy me time, Johanna. If it ever comes down to it, to a situation like that, don't think and do not hesitate. Choose yourself, and shoot me in the heart."

She turns to face him slowly, their eyes locking. His swirl with a mixture of colours and emotions.

"Damon...About what happened.."

"I meant what I said." his voice is softer. "When we made the deal for you to come back here. I'm not going to pry or ask you to tell me."

There's almost a flicker of relief that darts in her eyes.

"Really?"

"Really." Damon nods, still holding her gaze. "I'm fine keeping...What happened down there between us."

An unrecognizable emotion almost spreads over her face, but it soon disappears and she smiles again.

"Fine with me."

He stretches out his arm and hangs it out over the back of the chair, around her shoulder. Silence falls between them, but it's not awkward. It's almost comfortable, and then Damon breaks it by bringing up something uncomfortable.

"Uh...About the whole nearly ripping out your throat situation.."

"It's fine." she turns to face him. "I had it under control."

"I just..."

"What?"

"When I said, I was fine keeping what happened down there between the two of us."

"Mm."

"We should probably just...Try to forget what happened."

Johanna nods quickly, turning away briefly. She turns her head to the right, staring out at the lake. For some strange reason she feels let down, disappointed even. She showed a part of herself to him, told him something that she's never told anyone else before, and Damon just wants to forget because forgetting is considered easier.

"Uhh..." Damon starts slowly.

She turns back to him, and the disappointed look is still clear in her eyes.

"So, you and I..We're okay?"

"Yes." she forces a smile. "You and I are okay, Damon."

He knows that the smile is forced.

"I didn't..." he stops. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You didn't, Damon." her fake smile remains. "I had it under control."

Damon's eyes linger on her, before he stands slowly from the chair and walks silently to the door.

"Er, yeah, sure. Let's see how under control you have it tomorrow at training." he calls out from the archway.

She casts one last look at him before turning back to the lake. Damon steps inside quickly. He stops silently and glances back at her, peering at her through the glass in the door. He catches one last look at her, and almost returns to her like he has something needs to stay but the words don't form in his mouth. Damon turns away again, leaving the words unsaid and untouched because it's easier this way.

It's not that he doesn't want to stay out there, by her side, because he does. He wants to sit with her, and talk with her, and ask her about the vampire that compelled her but he doesn't. He leaves her.

Guilt swallows Damon up as he recalls the first, real time that he met Johanna. He takes a seat down in armchair in parlor, closes his eyes and breathes out quietly as the memory returns to him in slow flashes.

He'd reached for the door handle of the Boarding house, after hearing a persistent knocking. It had opened slowly, and revealed a dark haired woman, with soft brown eyes, standing before him. She wore a long green blouse, and black jeans. A smile had already rested on her face, when his eyes had settled on her. The smile was warm, and soft, and so inviting and it left him feeling oddly comfortable in seconds.

"Can I help you?" Damon had asked.

Her smile had widened. "I hope so. I'm sorry, if I'm interrupting anything."

"You're not. Come on in."

Damon had watched as she'd taken small steps inside, her eyes darting over the lavishly decorated inside of the house. Then she'd turned back at him, and continued to smile.

"I was looking for someone, and was hoping you could help me. I was directed here."

Damon had frowned. "I don't know who you'd be looking for here, unless you're searching for my brother. Stefan Salvatore?"

"No." her voice had fallen quieter. "I'm not, I'm looking for my brother. His name is Alaric Saltzman."

He'd stiffens up at the name, and he'd soon realized who she was. Alaric's sister. She had betrayed him, abandoned him, and left him with a broken heart and shattered trust.

Damon stepped closer. "Annie?"

An almost fragile smile had broken out on her face. "Yes. Is he here?"

His hand fell to her shoulder, and he'd purposely locked his eyes with hers. "No, he's not here. Alaric is not in this town, he has never been to Mystic Falls. You will forget that you came here, you will forget this conversation, and you will forget me. You will not come looking for your brother ever again. Do you understand me?"

She had nodded once.

"Go and never return." Damon had told her.

But she did return, because when she became a hunter any previous compulsions had lifted. The guilt rises inside of Damon when he recalls this, and he finds himself questioning why it is that she fails to remember this compulsion. Damon finds himself partially glad that she doesn't remember this, because then she would soon realize that he was the thing that kept her away from her brother.

* * *

Johanna wakes early in the morning, after spending quite some time unable to sleep. She slides out of bed, ties up her hair, and dresses before moving down the stairs to find everything empty and silence. She doesn't call out to Damon, or leave a note, because she's just going out for a run. Her feet guide her down towards their usual starting place, near the pier, and she runs quickly and steadily.

She feels herself growing stronger with each foot forward. Adrenaline pumps through her body and she runs for an hour until she returns to the cabin to find Damon resting casually against a tree. It's like he'd been waiting for her all of this time. He looks up at her when she nears him.

"Early start." he says simply.

She just nods in response.

"You ready to spar?"

"What, now?" she frowns.

"Why not?" Damon answers loudly. "I thought you said you had it all under control? Hmm? Besides, you have my undivided attention and I have yours. I happen to think the timing is great, so why don't we get to it?"

Johanna agrees, and they spar first. Hand to hand contact, which soon leaves her realising that Jeremy was right. Damon is skilled in fighting. They do this for a while, until he breaks away and throws a stake in her direction. The same instructions pass his lips.

"I'm giving you the device of my possible destruction. Use it."

They struggle for quite some time. Damon shouts at her, she shouts back, and eventually she manages to get the upper hand and press the stake against his heart. But he moves quickly and shoves her away carelessly, shouting that she has to be better if she doesn't want to almost die again. They continue to train, until he's satisfied with the number of times she almost stakes him.

Things are different now. The two of them are prepared, skilled, and wanting to take the other down. Damon's always been faster, he's always been good at this, just like he's always seen the potential in her. The way she moves, and how she holds herself, catches his attention and today it all comes out. Her strengths show. Her skills are revealed. The desire to kill him is almost overpowering, and he wants it to be.

She stops being the hunter pretending to be something else. She's not just the student, or the trainee. She's almost equal - she's a vampire hunter today.

Damon slams her back against the tree, smashing her face into the side of it. He ties her hands behind her back, but she moves quickly. She's swift, and skilled, and she overpowers hims. He's almost shocked to know that it really was there all along. He'd never admit it out-loud, or to himself, but he genuinely believes she could kill him after she violently flips him around and pushes his back against the three.

She slides her hand up his chest and tears open the top of his black, long-sleeved shirt. The stake is pressed harshly against his chest, and she digs it in until he begins to bleed slightly.

His eyes stay on her. "There she is! This is what I've been waiting for. Hello, to the real Johanna. I've been waiting for you for what feels like years!"

Her eyes stay firmly settled on the wooden stake.

Damon doesn't move an inch. "Just a little further in, and I'm dead. That's all it takes."

His icy eyes drop to her arms, lingering on her wrists. The long sleeves of her shirt has slipped up, and revealed a small tattoo on her left wrist. He looks over it briefly, before catching faint, old scars on her arms. Then he looks up to her, and finds that her eyes are still focused on his chest. She looks only at the stake, and where it is pressed against his heart.

Her eyes shut, but she keeps the stake firmly against his chest. Ready to push in, and kill him, at any moment.

"Johanna..."

"Don't." she tries to stop him. "Don't."

Johanna's eyes remain tightly shut, as she tries to regain some sense of control. She tries to feel anything but the desire to kill him, and the rage that is shouting at her to press the stake in deeper.

"Johanna. Put the stake-"

She lifts the stake away from his chest, only to swiftly dagger him in the stomach. It hits him harshly, causing him to double over him pain and release a loud moan of pain.

"I told you not to say anything." she snaps.

The veins on his forehead throb madly, when he glances up at her. "How do you do it?"

She doesn't answer.

Damon grips the stake in his stomach, and groans loudly. "How do you control it? I mean, Jeremy nearly killed Elena, like, five times. You have more control. How?"

"I just staked you, Damon." she frowns instantly. "I wouldn't exactly call that control."

A loud groan escapes his mouth as he pulls the stake out in one swift, clean movement. Then, he straightens up and releases a loud sigh. His eyes fall back to her, and he watches her with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

"You didn't kill me, when every part of you wanted to. It still wants to right now doesn't it? But you're not. Somehow, you're controlling yourself. What is your secret?"

"I was trained."

"By who? Alaric?" Damon asks.

For the first time, she can ever recall, Damon has mentioned Alaric in a conversation between the two of them. He isn't furiously shouting at her, or being cruel. It's a casual conversation, and he was able to mention her brother's name without being overcome with an inescapable rage toward her.

"No. A vampire hunter. I was trained before I received the mark."

"How did you know a vampire hunter, before you received the mark?"

She ignores this. "Alaric trained me first, but not for killing vampires."

For the first time that Damon has known her, he doesn't want to snap her neck at the sound of Alaric's name passing her lips. Instead, he simply stands still and watches her as she continues to speak.

"Ric and I trained together, in self defense. Now, I know that he was doing it to kill vampires while I was training to..."

He frowns ever so slightly. "To do what?"

She shrugs. "Defend myself, and him."

"From what?" Damon lifts an eyebrow.

He watches as she exhales loudly, taking an obvious step backwards.

"I think I'm going to go for another run."

"No, you're not." he moves so he's standing in front of her.

A dangerous expression rests on his face. "You're here to train, Johanna. Give in to your hunter's urges, allow it to take you over. If you run away then you're not really learning anything. You need to grow stronger."

"No, I need you to get out of my face, Damon." she snaps back.

"Or, you'll what?" he asks angrily.

Emotions are the key to everything. They are the key to fighting; fear can push you, anger can control you, and the pain can be your motivation to fight. Damon believes that she needs to take all of her emotions and use them.

"Use it." he tells her. "Use your drive, and your emotions."

"Damon." she looks up at him slowly.

He doesn't move. "Fine, if you won't use old emotions I'll make you use new ones."

"I went through your belongings." he admits, watching as her eyes dart towards his.

Rage begins to fill her eyes.

"Yeah, that's right. I went through some of your stuff, Johanna. When I said I wouldn't pry, I lied. I couldn't stop myself. I snooped, and you know...I actually found some pretty interesting things." Damon taunts.

Her entire body remains rigid and still. She doesn't act, or move, just yet.

"I found a photograph, of a strapping young man. Light brown hair. He looked a little young for you, but I'm not judging. I just wanted to know who he was. I was thinking a husband, maybe ex since you don't speak of him. Or, and this one I was leaning more towards, a former lover?"

She grabs him harshly by the neck, grips his bones tightly and breaks in his neck in a second. He falls down crumpled on the dirt and leaves, and she looks down at his body for a moment before she breaks out into a fast run. Once she has finished running, she enters the cabin to find Matt and Jeremy coming quickly down the staircase. The sight of the two of them brings an immediate smile to her face, and her mood becomes better instantly.

"Morning."

Jeremy smiles back. "Morning."

"What have you been up to?" Matt asks.

"Oh, you know, the usual." she moves to the sink, and pours herself a glass of water. "Ran for a bit, trained for a while, then I snapped Damon's neck again."

"Sounds like the usual day." Matt breaks out into a smirk. "You okay?"

She turns around and nods. "Yep."

After peering out of the window, Jeremy turns back to them and smiles.

"Uh, I think Damon's up. How about, I train with him and get his mind off wanting to kill you? Which I'm sure it'll be on, since you snapped his neck again. You two should go for a couple of runs around the lake."

Matt nods enthusiastically. "Sounds good to me."

Her smile widens, because she'd take any chance to stay away from Damon right now. "Me too."

Somehow, Jeremy manages to convince Damon into training and sparring with just him. He isn't entirely sure how that happened, considering the foul mood Damon was in when he woke, but it worked. Johanna and Matt were able to start their run without an interruption from Damon, which is exactly what Jeremy wanted because he thought that they both needed a break from seeing him.

A few miles away, Johanna and Matt continue to run side by side, at a steady pace. The run is filled with talking and laughter, and for the first time in days they are able to really enjoy each others company. Her eyes wander back to him eventually, and she catches him watching her.

"It's good to hear you laugh again. It's been a while." he smiles.

She smiles back. "You too."

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches something. Scars on her wrists, which he had been told by Stefan were self inflicted. The hunter made her do it. It was all because of the curse, and the guilt that he feels almost drowns him. Matt halt suddenly, drawing in a tight breath of air.

She immediately stops and turns to him, concern filling her face. This only makes him feel worse.

"Everything okay?"

His smile remains but a frown forms.

"Matt? What's wrong?"

"I just...There's something that I wanted to tell you."

"What?" she continues to smile kindly.

"It's just, uh...About what you did, and what you tried to do."

Any traces of a smile vanish. "What, did Damon tell you?"

"No, er...Stefan did." Matt answers quietly.

"Stefan?!" she frowns. "What the- How does Stefan even know? Oh, wait, let me guess. Damon told him. God, he's such an ass sometimes. I just wish he would learn to mind his own damn business."

"Stefan was there, Johanna." he continues to frown. "You don't remember that?"

"What?"

"I was there too."

Johanna remembers it in cold flashes. Shadows of her brother. His eyes almost coming into view, and then she saw Damon. He was leaning over her, his cold blue eyes on her. It was just the two of them.

"No, Matt." she answers slowly. "You weren't there. It was just Damon."

He frowns deeper, if possible. "Um...What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The cell." he answers. "The curse."

"Oh." her expression shifts noticeably.

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing."

"What were you talking about, Jo?" he asks, worry filling his eyes.

"Nothing, okay?" she sharply answers. "Can we just get back tow hat you first wanted to say?"

"Fine." he sighs, giving in. "I wanted to say that you're not alone. Elena went through what you did, because of the curse, and well...I've been through something similar."

Her eyes remain wide, and her expression softens instantly, while she continues to watch him closely.

"I tried to kill myself."

Sympathy fills her eyes. "You had the curse too?"

Matt shakes his head, and instead of answering he walks away from her and steps towards a log which has fallen over. He sits down on it, and silently waits for her to join his side. Seconds later she joins his side.

"You know, how...Jeremy can sometimes see Ric?"

She nods and clasps her hands together, turning to face him.

"It's not limited to him. Sometimes, he can see ghosts." Matt's voice becomes choked up. "He saw an old girlfriend of his once, her name was Anna. Then, he saw a friend of Damon's who died. Her name was Rose. He even saw my sister...Vicki. I missed her so much, and the thought of seeing her...I tried to. I tried to kill myself, and it worked. I saw her."

Matt pauses eventually, breathing inwards as his eyes settle down on the ground. Only Jeremy and Bonnie know what he tried to do, so sharing this with her now is difficult for him but the words spill out because he trust her. Matt feels connected to her, which surprises him since they've only known each other for a short amount of time.

"Bonnie saved my life." he runs his hands over his face, eventually dropping them to his side. "She saved my life, and without her I'd be dead. What I'm trying to say is that I know what it's like to feel low, to feel that you're nothing without someone...to feel that you don't have a choice but you do. You have the choice to keep living, to grow stronger, and you should always choose that because they'd want you to."

He turns back to face her, his light eyes slowly locking with hers. Matt watches as a small, sad smile spreads over her face. She doesn't hesitate to take his hands, slide her fingers in between his, and hold them. She leans in a little closer to him, until her shoulder is brushing against his, and then she speaks.

"You're such a good person, Matt. You're so brave."

This causes him to smile. "Let's not have this argument again. You're good, too. I think you're one of the bravest people I know, too. You deserve a long, and happy life."

She bites down on her bottom lip, and her grip on his hand tightens.

"What if they didn't want you to?"

He frowns.

"I mean, what if the people who you lost..What if they didn't want you to keep living? What if they didn't want your life to be happy, or long?"

"If they loved you they would have wanted it to you." he traces a pattern, with his thumb, against her skin. "Alaric loved you. And I know...He would have wanted both of those things for you."

She smiles sadder now. "You're sweet, Matt, but he didn't. He stopped loving me a long time ago, but it's okay."

"He did love you, Johanna. Of course he did, I mean..He's your family."

Johanna abruptly stands from the chair, pulling her hand from his. She breathes out deeply, before turning to him and finding him standing before her too.

"What was the point of this conversation, Matt?"

He frowns. "What?"

"The way that you opened up was so touching, and sweet." she presses her hand to her chest. "But I don't know how to properly respond to that, or to this, because you are the first person that I have been close too in so many years. And I am sorry, for the loss of your sister. I truly am. I know you must miss her insanely, and you're right. Taking your life isn't the solution, ever. From the way you speak about her, it's clear that she loved you. So, hold on to that love. Hold on to the life that she would have wanted you to live, the life that you deserve. Be free, and be happy. But, please, don't try to convince me that my life is going to be happy or long, because it won't and it's not going to be. I don't deserve that, but you do."

"You know, you deserve a hell of a lot more than you think you do." he nearly shouts. "And I'm starting to get sick of hearing you doubt yourself, or say that you're not good, because you're wrong. You're a good person, and you deserve more than this."

"How, Matt?" she snaps back. "How could you possibly know what I deserve?"

"Because I see the good in you."

"Really?" she feels the tears burning in her eyes. "The good? I've taken lives, Matt."

"I know.."

He doesn't know at all.

"You don't know, Matt. You don't know the half of what I have done, and what I have had to do to survive. Please, don't tell me that I deserve happiness because I don't. I don't want a long life, I never have. I just want a little bit of peace eventually."

Matt sighs loudly. "Johanna..."

"I'm sorry." she says genuinely. "I am, but right now I think it's just best if you leave me alone."

"Jo..." he doesn't move.

She turns back to him, her expression serious. "Matt, go. Please."

He turns away and leaves reluctantly, soon breaking out into a run, because this is what she needs. Leaving now doesn't mean that he's giving up on her, because he never could. Matt's just giving her the moment that she needs to be alone. He returns to the cabin soon enough, and upon his arrival Damon immediately speaks to him.

"Where's your running buddy?" Damon asks without turning around.

He effortlessly moves out of Jeremy's way, tossing his stake to the ground and shoving Jeremy away.

"Try again." he instructs.

Jeremy ignores him, and turns to face Matt after noticing Johanna's absence.

"Where's Johanna?" he asks.

Matt hesitates, and he immediately picks up on this.

"What, Matt?"

"She wanted to run alone for a while." he answers finally.

"Ooh." Damon says loudly. "Take the hint, prom king."

"It wasn't like that, Damon." Matt snaps back. "She just needed...Time alone."

Damon rolls his eyes, growing bored of this conversation already.

"Luckily, I don't care what it was like. Now, could we get back to this or do you want to waste more time doing nothing?"

"Aren't you worried about her at all, Damon?" Jeremy frowns. "What if Klaus has more vampires? Don't you remember what happened-"

"Of course, I remember pulling the pieces of glass out of her back. I also remember having my neck snapped this morning, which has been happening too much for my liking. So, no, to answer both of your questions; I'm not worried and I don't care. She's capable, and she can do whatever the hell she wants." Damon snaps sharply.

He throws the stake back to Jeremy.

"Now, hit me." Damon sighs.

Matt breaks the silence. "I kinda...Mentioned the curse."

"Really? Why would you you do that?" Damon groans loudly. "Don't tell me you mentioned..."

Damon stops suddenly, because he soon receives his answer by the shift of Matt's expression. He mentioned Alaric.

"Great, good job, Matt. You get the gold star for stupidity today! Hey, I thought of a great idea..How about next time you see her you rub some more salt in her wounds by starting the conversation with how she tried to off herself in the pool. Hey, what do you know? You two have that in common."

Matt lunges forward at Damon, but Jeremy moves swiftly and places his hands on his shoulder to stop him from diving at Damon.

"Nice one." Damon almost smiles. "What was your next move going to be, after I took your head clean off your shoulders?"

"Go to hell." Matt snaps back.

"Say the word, and I will gladly take you there."

* * *

The rest of the day seems to pass quickly. Johanna returns, and is surprisingly not asked about her whereabouts. She is silently thankful for this, and joins them in training for what little remains of the day before the rain hits again. Damon disappears while they're finishing their last lap around the lake house, so they are able to head inside after the rain hits without any objection.

The three of them eat omelets for dinner, which Johanna cooked up while Matt and Jeremy were showering. She eats while they're in the shower, and then finishes cooking the batch when they return downstairs. They're overly enthusiastic and thankful about the simple meal, of omelets and warm mugs. She wishes them good night, and retires upstairs for the evening to shower and have an early rest.

She showers slowly, basking in the warmth that the heat of the shower provides. It soothes her, as it always does. Once she has showered she changes into a baggy green shirt, a pair of black and white checkered pants, and a pair of warm socks. After brushing her curls, she leaves them out and takes off all of her rings, setting them down beside the sink in the bathroom.

The emptiness of the room is much more obvious tonight, and she feels lonelier than she's been in her entire stay here. She slides down underneath the sheets, turns out the lamp by the bed, and shuts her eyes in the hopes of finding a peaceful sleep but it doesn't come. Hours pass her by, and she can't rest. Soon, the frustration gets the better of her and she gives up trying to sleep. Her feet lead her down the hallway, but she stops at the top of the staircase as the sound of two familiar voices fill the air.

Damon and Jeremy.

She halts and turns away, now deciding to visit Matt. She finds herself wanting to speak with him, to talk about how she reacted today. Gripping the handle of his door slowly, she twists it and pushes it open to find the lamp by his bedside is lit and he's resting in bed. He was leaning over to turn out the light when she entered.

"Johanna." he frowns. "Is everything okay?"

He begins to get up but she quickly stops him.

"No, don't get up."

Matt doesn't move. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." she shuts the door behind her. "Sorry to intrude."

"You're not." he half smiles.

"I was...I couldn't sleep. It's been like two hours, so I was hoping that...You know what? Don't worry, Matt."

"You can stay in here, if you like." he speaks up.

She turns back to him slowly. "You wouldn't mind?"

"I wouldn't ask if I did." he smiles at her. "You know that."

"You're sure?"

"Yep." his smile remains.

Johanna takes small steps towards his bed, hesitating for a moment before she pulls back the covers and slides down in bed next to him. Without thinking, she settles her head comfortably against his chest and presses herself up against him. He pulls the blankets up over their bodies, and breathes out quietly.

"If this is too close for you..."

"It's not." he answers, before turning the light out.

Then, his voice breaks into the darkness.

"Johanna?"

"Mmm?" she snuggles in against his chest.

"I'm sorry."

She looks up at him, locking her eyes with his. Suddenly, a smile which is kind, and warm, spreads over her face.

"You're too good to me."

He frowns but the smile remains on his face. "What?"

"You are. You're such a good friend, Matt. I really don't think I deserve you, but don't worry. We won't get into that argument again."

Matt laughs, and soon she begins to laugh because his laugh is infectious.

"What?" she continues to watch him.

"Nothing." he shrugs slightly.

"No, what?"

The smile on his face remains, but his voice is chilling and cold when he next speaks. "Did you really think that you could escape me?"

"What?" she frowns.

"You're dripping with blood, Johanna. You're dripping with the blood of others, of the innocent lives you took, and you can't escape it. You can't deny it. There is only one solution for you, only one way out, you know this." he answers.

She scrambles out of the bed, hitting the floor harshly. Her lips are parted, and her eyes are wide and filled with fear. It was over.

"You're not really here. You can't be here."

Vincent's voice returns to her.

"Your mind thinks I am."

Johanna stands suddenly, dragging herself up she turns to the doorway and finds Vincent standing in front of her. He's dripping with blood, and a grin has been plastered over his face. The horrible stench of blood grows stronger as he nears her.

"You can smell it, can't you? This is what you did to me."

She shakes her head quickly.

"You're lying!" he shouts viciously.

Johanna steps away, towards the window. "You're not real."

He moves closer. "I'm not?"

Then he grabs her tightly by her wrists, forcing her up against the wall. He harshly grabs her by the neck, and forces her to look into his eyes. Vincent forces her to feel his hands against her neck, to smell the stench of blood that reeks from his wounds.

"You can feel me, can't you?" he asks.

She struggles under his grip, and eventually he releases her.

"I had a family, Johanna. You didn't know that when you killed me, did you? I had two brothers and a sister. I loved them, and they loved me."

"I thought- I thought..."

"What?" he yells. "You thought that I was like you? That I was completely alone? Well, I'm not but you are. You don't want to be alone any more, do you? It's painful. Your existence is painful, it's always been this way, but I can help you. You just have to oblige."

Hot tears fall against her cheeks. "You were gone."

"I let you think that. I wanted you to think that I was gone, so you'd believe you'd found peace. I wanted to watch and see if you felt guilty, but you didn't. You didn't feel guilty at all, did you? And you didn't find peace because it isn't achievable for someone like you in a world like this."

"I did, I do. I do feel guilty, and I didn't mean to do it. I didn't want to kill you."

"Just like you didn't want to kill your husband? But you did anyway."

She lifts her hands to her mouth, stopping a cry from passing her lips.

"You want to see them all again, don't you? Your brothers and your husband?"

"I do." she answers weakly.

"You must listen to me, dear Johanna." he answers softly, his voice much calmer. "You must come with me, and I can help you end it all."

"Johanna?" a different voice calls.

She spins around tot he doorway and finds Matt standing in the archway, a slight frown on his face. He smiles easily, and takes a step inside.

"Hey, you okay?"

Her eyes briefly dart to Vincent, who still stands beside her.

"He's real. Tell him that you're fine." Vincent instructs.

"I'm fine." she smiles.

"You sure?"

"Yes." her voice is significantly quieter.

"What are...Not that I mind you in here, just..What are you doing in here? Did you want to talk?" Matt asks softly.

Vincent speaks up. "Say that you're tired, you're going to rest, and if you follow me I can help you to find an eternal rest."

Her smile remains. "I was just going to sleep, but first I wanted to say that I was sorry about today."

Matt shrugs. "It was nothing. If you like, we can talk later?"

"I'd like that." she answers.

"You have to go now." Vincent informs her. "This has to end now."

Johanna walks towards Matt quickly, embracing him briefly but tightly. He is almost caught off by the gesture, because it's unexpected to say the least, but he hugs her back until she breaks away.

"I'll see you in the morning."

"I'll see you." she smiles, moving out into the hallway.

She follows Vincent for a moment, before stopping and turning back to face Matt.

"You were right, when you said peace was possible."

His grin widens. "I don't like to brag, but I'm usually right."

She simply smiles back.

"See you in the morning." Matt repeats, still smiling.

Johanna nods stiffly, before turning away and settling her eyes back on the figure of Vincent who stands in the darkness. She follows the haunting in silence, suddenly at peace with what's about to come.

* * *

Jeremy's voice rings through the silence for the third time. "Damon, are you even listening? I've been talking to you for, like-"

"Didn't I just tell you to get your ass back in bed? What about that do you not understand?" Damon snaps back. "I've had a crap day, and I don't want to hear whatever it is you're about to say."

"Ric said he remembers."

An immediate frown darts over Damon's face, as he stands slowly from the armchair he'd rested in. He swirls the glass of whiskey around in his hand, turning around rigidly. The annoyed look on his face only grows.

"Well..." Damon sighs. "That's incredibly vague."

The silence falls between them as Jeremy watches Alaric stepping towards Damon, anger and pain covering his features. He watches Damon closely, like he's searching for something. Like he's searching for the truth, or an emotion, but he gives nothing away.

"Tell him I remember it all." Alaric says.

Jeremy repeats this. "He said he remembers it all."

Damon remains frighteningly still and calm.

"He said that over there he's had time to think clearly, to remember the compulsions placed upon him while he was human. Ric said that when he was turned into a vampire the compulsions didn't return because of his alter ego, who was controlling him. He said that he wasn't able to remember them, but now he remembers everything."

Now, Damon gives a human reaction. He knows exactly what Ric remembers, because he was the one who compelled him when he missed a dosage of vervain. He swallows tightly, staring at the floor like it's been pulled out beneath them all and they are all about to go crashing down into a bottomless pit.

Matt rushes down the staircase. "Um, this is probably nothing but I think we might have a problem."

Both Jeremy and Damon glance up at Matt, who wears a deep frown on his face.

Damon doesn't have the time or patience for this. "Yeah, so do we. I don't have time for it, or you. Go deal with it yourself, you're a big boy."

Jeremy sighs loudly, turning back to Damon. "He said that you compelled him."

"Johanna's gone." Matt announces.

Damon groans, clutching at his forehead. "Please! One Saltzman issue at a time!"

"What do you mean, Johanna's gone?" Jeremy turns back to Matt.

"She said she was going to bed, and then I went in to check on her like...Ten minutes later but she was gone. I can't find her anywhere upstairs, and she's not down here. I think she took her car."

Jeremy glances angrily back at Damon. "How did you not hear her leave? How did you not hear the car starting?!"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Damon snaps back. "I was a little preoccupied with the conversation that was taking place between you, me, and my dead best friend."

Damon sighs loudly before swallowing what remains in his glass. "Sorry, Ric, as much as I'd love to continue this conversation I have to go find your sister. Yeah, that's just another of the many things that you left me behind to do."

He swipes his leather jacket from the back of the chair and pulls it on, turning back to Matt.

"What was the last thing she said to you?"

"She said she believed peace was possible."

"Well, that's ominous." Damon walks towards the door. "You two stay here."

He turns back to the two of them, noticing that they seem like they're about to protest.

"Ah!" he nearly shouts, stopping them. "Lock the doors and stay inside. Okay?"

He receives silence.

"You got it?!"

They nod simultaneously.

"Yep." Jeremy answers.

Damon walks closer to the door, pausing to glance back at the two of them. "If you leave this cabin-"

"We won't, okay? We don't exactly want to die." Matt answers.

"Good." Damon pulls back the door. "Because if you leave the cabin, like the other idiot, I'll kick your ass."

* * *

**A/N: Another update- surprise!**

**I wasn't expecting or planning to update this for a third time this week, especially not so soon (and I'm not sure how frequently I'll be able to do three updates a week. I'll probably stick to around two, and sometimes even one) but then this happened..**

**Elena's guilt is beginning to get the better of her. Will she tell the truth? There's Jamon bonding (a little), Jamon arguing that results in a neck snapping (come on! How could I not put at least one more neck snapping in? It's kind of their thing now, considering the amount of times they've done it!) A little glimpse of the team human bonding that will come, followed by Matt/Jo bonding and then an argument (because all true friends argue IMO) with some snarky, pissed off Damon thrown in as well as the return of the curse _and _ghost Ric! Plus, probably the bigger points, are the revelations which came out and almost came out. Damon knew her before?! Damon compelled Ric? What are you thoughts?**

**This is probably one of my favourite chapters, and the quick update (and the longer length of this chapter) is a treat for you great readers. Special thanks to the kind reviewers of chapter 19: SophStratt, Alsynea, Sabine Christensen, lilsis321 & Joyscott13.**

**I apologise in advance for any spelling errors, I do re-check every chapter but I probably missed something.. If you find any, please let me know!**

**Soundtrack: Buffalo Tales - Crazy heart, Emma Louise - 17 hours, Iridescent - cover by Gavin Mikhail, The Fray - Where the story ends (piano version), Mumford and Sons - Home.**

**Guest reviews:**

**Julia 9/18/13 . chapter 19: **Dear, Julia. Thank YOU for reading this story. I'm really happy you think that it's badass, and that the chapter was awesome. Here's another, really quick update for you and all the other great readers. :) I hope you enjoy it. Who broke the compulsion will be revealed in **chapter 22 **so you can keep an eye out for that one if you like. They do! I'm glad you noticed it. And, again, thank you for reading my story. I really hope you like the new update. x

**Guest 9/18/13 . chapter 19: **Dear, Guest. Thank you for reading and reviewing :) Yes, you're right. Right now, it does still seem like Damon and Jo are still at a point where they aren't really friends but there will be a gradual change. Starting from chapter 23, things will shift between the two. There will be hints coming to Jo about what they're doing, and you'll get an insight into what she knows about the situation. Maybe she knows more than she's letting people believe, maybe she's here for another reason. The possibilities are endless! Rebekah is definitely going to play a key role in Jo's life in town, as well as her knowledge of what's going on around her because she really cares about Jo. Matt may or may not spill something (just like Elena may or may not spill something) but as for Damon he'll be keeping everything tightly shut. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy the new chapter! x

**X**


	21. The past and the chase

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_Maybe this is who you are now._

Damon moves speedily through the light rain.

It doesn't take him long to find her, because he doesn't look anywhere else but here. He finds her in darkness, in the only place that he really thought she might come. The only place in this town where she might find some small fragment of peace.

Alaric's grave.

Damon walks quickly to her, standing a few feet away from her in seconds. She doesn't seem to notice his presence, because she continues to stare at the grave before her.

"Johanna." he sighs. "What the hell are you doing out here?! Did you suddenly forget about the vampire that tried to rip you apart? Are you really _that_ stupid?"

He can't contain his anger, because it was foolish of her to come here.

Her face is empty as she turns to face him.

"Damon?"

"Uh, yeah." he frowns.

"You're here too." she says quietly, her eyes soon drawn back to the blue and white flowers.

His frown only deepens.

"What do you mean, 'too'?"

He receives silence, so he presses her for more.

"Who else is here? Johanna?"

"Ric was here, but he left again. Vincent will be back soon." she finally answers.

"Vincent? As in..Vincent, the crazy hunter that you killed?"

It dawns upon Damon now.

"Oh, crap. It's not over."

The curse didn't pass, it didn't stop, it only faltered for a while before returning. He should have realized that it was over too soon, and that it wasn't really gone. He takes a slow, cautious step in her direction. His icy eyes never waver away from her.

"Johanna..." he stops.

An unmistakable sound catches his attention, and he sees the black sheen of the gun resting firmly in her right hand. She isn't pointing the gun at Damon, and she isn't protecting herself against the hunter. She's lifted the gun to the right side of her head, and it now rests firmly against her temple.

"Not long now, Johanna." Vincent returns to her.

"Johanna." Damon's voice is soothing. "You don't have to do this. The curse will pass, I promise."

Promises are just empty words.

"It's not going to pass."

"It will. Just look at me, okay?" Damon instructs. "Give me the gun, Johanna."

She ignores him, hearing only Vincent's next words.

"You have the power to end this."

Damon hesitates, and it is this moment of hesitation which was almost costly.

"Johanna...Hand me the gun."

She doesn't hear him, and she doesn't hear Vincent any more. He's gone, but Alaric's here. He's back with her, smiling at her, like he's waiting for her to join him finally. He promises her that they can be together this way and she wants to believe it so badly.

"End this, Annie." Ric smiles kindly. "Pull the trigger, and end this all."

She pulls the trigger after Damon moves forward. He's faster than the bullet, but only just, and he barely manages to push her down to the ground to avoid it. Damon knocks her flat on her back, so it can't hit her. It hits him in the side of the neck, and he collapses on top of her.

A strong breeze overcomes her, and washes everything away, and in this moment her mind is no longer heavy and her thoughts are clear.

Johanna opens her eyes slowly, finding Damon pressed on top of her. He watches her closely, with clouded eyes, but doesn't pull away from her. He remains on top of her, because of the fear that the curse is still with her.

Angrily, he rips the gun from her hand and tosses it so far away that she couldn't possibly reach it before he did. Deep breaths of air pass her lips while she looks around her surroundings, stopping on the blood gushing to his neck.

She gasps and presses her hands to his neck, to stop the blood.

"Oh, god. Damon, you're-you're bleeding."

This is how he knows that she's returned to him, and that the curse is gone, because she's not focused on killing herself. She's thinking about him.

Damon, who has apparently only now noticed how close they are, pulls himself off her and settles down on the ground next to her. He releases a loud groan, after he sticks his fingers into the wound in his neck.

"I shot you."

_Better you than me,_ he thinks silently.

"Mmm." Damon grunts.

He grasps the bullet tightly, before extracting it from his neck. Blood runs down his body, and he grimaces until the bullet has been pulled free. He tosses it away, and glances to her to find that she watches him with regretful eyes.

"I thought it passed. He was gone."

Damon shrugs. "Yeah, you better watch out for those hunters. Tricky, lying bastards."

He stands up from the ground and casts his eyes down at her.

"Uh..." he sighs. "I got two teens at the cabin who are worried about you. So, they'll probably try to do something stupid and die. We should head back."

There is an obvious moment of hesitation, before he extends his hand for her to take. She takes it with no hesitation, and allows him to pull her up from the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Damon."

He holds her hand longer than he'd intended to, and soon releases it.

"I've had worse." Damon shrugs slightly.

Without thinking, because it just comes naturally in this moment, Johanna hugs Damon. She embraces him tightly, clinging to his bloody body. Focusing on her breathing and his, she steadies herself. His hands fall to her back slowly, and he pats it.

"Thank you."

"That's something I didn't think I'd hear-"

"I mean it." she pulls away. "Thank you, Damon."

He nods and guides her away, back to her car.

When they return to the cabin Damon enters first, followed closely by Johanna. He finds Jeremy and Matt downstairs waiting, looking like they were in deep conversation and possibly considering leaving the cabin to search for her.

"Found her doing a little extra training, late running. That's all." Damon announces. "Stupid, I know."

Johanna catches his words, and finds herself silently thankful that he's kept the truth about the situation between the two of them. She turns to Matt and Jeremy, and smiles.

"I'm sorry for not telling you. I thought Matt was sleeping, and then Jeremy was..I heard you talking to Damon, and I didn't want to interrupt."

Damon stiffens up, catching Jeremy's intent gaze falling on him as she says those words. For some reason he instantly worries what she may have heard. He shoots Jeremy a silent warning, that tonight is not the night for _that_ conversation.

"Alright." Damon speaks loudly. "Time for bed. All. Now."

They all head upstairs eventually, leaving Damon in a regretful silence.

After a shower, Matt enters his room to find Johanna inside. She looks better than she did on her return, she looks refreshed, and he smiles at the simple sight of her. After noticing his presence, she just turns to him and watches him. No smile and no words. Nothing.

"Hey." he closes the door after he enters. "Everything okay?"

"No." she answers honestly, shaking her head. "The curse wasn't over."

Confusion sweeps his soft features. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it wasn't over. It didn't finish at the Boarding house." she runs her fingers through her damp hair, brushing it off her face.

Matt falls silent, watching her as he waits for her to continue speaking and eventually she does continue.

"I came to you, in your room. I couldn't sleep and you let me get in bed with you. It was so real. I could hear you breathing, touch your shoulder, and your voice was real. You felt real, but then you started laughing and it wasn't real then."

"I'm real now, I promise." he steps closer.

Matt's kind eyes swirl with sympathy. "I promise."

"I know." Johanna nods. "I know that."

"Come here."

She steps away from him, and he doesn't understand.

"I almost killed myself again." she admits. "Because _he_ wanted me to."

"Who did?" Matt asks quietly.

"Ric. He said that I could be with him again, and he was so sure and so real." she lifts her hands to her forehead. "I keep falling for these fake images, and false hopes...They aren't real. I need to figure out what's real, and what's not."

"You need to rest." he says softly. "Come on."

Matt walks to the bed, pulling back the sheets.

"You can stay in here tonight, if you like. I won't leave."

She takes cautious steps towards the bed, stopping when she reaches the side. Matt slides in first, and she eventually gets in beside him. He lets her place her head against his chest, and then wraps his arms around her.

"Is this okay?"

She feels warm in his arms. "Yes. I feel safe her."

"Good."

Johanna holds him tighter, shutting her eyes as she feels him pulling the blankets up over her body.

"Thank you, Matt. Without you...I don't know what I'd do."

* * *

When the sound of three different sets of footsteps becomes clearer, Damon walks towards the staircase and calls out to them.

"Are we all up and ready for training? Or do you want to waste more of the day?!"

Jeremy comes down first. "I don't think so, Damon."

A loud, annoyed sigh passes Damon's lips and he then looks up at Johanna who has just moved down the staircase.

"How are you feeling this morning, Johanna?" he asks.

An immediate frown falls on her face. "Who, me?"

"Was I not clear? Did I not say your name clearly? Wait, you're right. Not you. I was actually talking to the person standing next to you, called Jahanna. It's a variation of Johanna. Yes, you, Johanna! I was talking to you!"

"I'm fine." she still frowns.

"See!" Damon exclaims. "Johanna is fine. Everyone is fine. Let's start this before the daylight burns away."

"I can't." Matt shrugs casually.

"Neither." Jeremy says.

Damon struggles to find the words at first. "What the hell do you mean, you can't?"

Matt reaches for his car keys. "I have work.

"I don't care." Damon snaps back. "We have vampires to hunt and kill. You need to train."

"Not today." Jeremy sighs. "Not just yet, anyway. I have to go in and see Elena."

Damon groans loudly with frustration, turning his back on them quickly he walks out of the door without another word.

* * *

Seconds after entering the bar, Matt stops suddenly when he finds Rebekah sitting on a bar stool drinking from a glass in her hand. Her hair is curled, and she's wearing black pants and a white skirt. His eyes skim over her quickly, before he eventually walks behind the bar.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be?" he asks.

She glances up slowly. "Haven't you heard of customer service?"

"Haven't you heard of dining in?" he frowns.

"You're so bitter, Matt-"

"You killed two of my friends. Elena is a vampire because of you, and you almost killed me. What, did you seriously think I would ever be happy to see you again?" he snaps back.

Rebekah sighs quietly. "I never meant to hurt you, Matt. You know that."

"No, I don't." Matt shakes his head. "I don't know anything about you and, honestly, I really don't want to."

"Alaric was going to kill me. He was going to wipe out thousands of lives. What should I have done? Should I have let him?" she swallows the rest the vodka. "What would you have wanted me to do, Matt?"

"You're a vampire. An Original." Matt leans in closer. "You've lived longer than Elena and Alaric lived combined. You could have done the right thing. You could have sacrificed yourself for them. You could have died but instead of that you let them both die, when they didn't get to live at all."

The glass slips out of her hand and hits the counter, shattering into tiny pieces.

He would have her die.

Rebekah says nothing with her words, but when she glances up to him her eyes say everything. He sees the hurt, and the pain, and he almost feels guilty. Almost. Then he remembers everything that she has done, and he doesn't feel guilty anymore. He just feels angry.

"Look," he sighs. "I don't know why you come in here so much. If you're looking for a friend, you don't have one in me. But, for some reason, Johanna is your friend. Probably because she doesn't know who you are and what you did. I won't tell her what you did, because I'm going to give you a chance to do that. Do something good, Rebekah. Be truthful. She deserves to know the truth eventually. What you do from here is your choice."

She doesn't answer him, despite the words that rush through her mind. Rebekah stands slowly from the stool, her entire body remaining stiff and rigid. She casts a careless look over Matt, and he catches a deep loneliness in her eyes. Now, the guilt returns to him. The same guilt that fills her up.

Rebekah turns and walks away, and Matt doesn't get the chance to apologize for his words. Instead, he lets her leave even though his heart is telling him that he wants her to stay here with him. After everything, there's a part of him inside that doesn't want to let her go.

* * *

By the time that Damon returns to the lake house he finds Johanna inside, resting in _his_ armchair with a book in her hands. Her eyes are set intently on it, and she pays no attention to him as he angrily storms into the room.

"What are you doing?" he frowns.

"Oh, yeah! I forgot, you would have missed learning to read books, you know, with being a caveman and all."

He scowls and angrily snatches the book from her hands, tossing it to the ground. Damon needs a distraction, so she can be his momentary distraction.

"Get up, we're training. Now."

She frowns and stands slowly from the chair. "Do I even want to know what's wrong with you?"

He walks away from her and moves towards the door, finding that she stays by his side.

"Just a blond pain in my ass." he grunts.

"Rebekah?" she asks, once they're outside.

"No. A little judgy, annoying vampire named Caroline." he mutters. "She keeps calling me, and sending my text messages. 'Damon, I need to talk to you. Damon, stop ignoring me. Damon, stop being an ass.' Oh, yeah, right! I'm the ass but _she's _harassing _me_!"

"Sounds like you need a break." Johanna says, picking up the sparring bag. "How about it?"

He speaks slowly. "I'm the trainer. You're the trainee."

"You're angry."

"Yeah, so? How is that at all relevant to this conversation?"

"Hit me. I mean, hit the bag." Johanna suggests.

"As enticing as that sounds, if I hit you I'm probably going to break a bone. And since you're my only hunter at the moment, I don't really want that. I need a distraction. You're my distraction, so drop the bag."

"Fine." she drops it to the ground.

Damon almost rolls his eyes.

"Come on! Don't tell me I'm getting angst from you too?!"

"Why don't you spar with me?" she asks.

His frown remains, and he remains still.

"Spar with me."

"I heard you." Damon snaps back. "I have ears."

"You have a mouth too, Damon, so use it." she retorts quickly.

His eyes narrow in on her, and she expects him to respond angrily, but he stays silent like he's considering her offer.

"I don't mean spar with me, like train me. I mean spar with me like we're fighting. I'll do the same."

"What if I kill you?" he tilts his head to the left. "What then?"

"Apparently, for some weird, supernatural reason, I can't die." Johanna shrugs a little. "You learnt that, after you staked me and then snapped-"

"Are you going to hold on to that forever?" he shouts over her. "Seriously? Get over it. If I recall correctly, you snapped my neck on several occasions. Then you staked me, and shot me. I'm pretty sure that calls even."

She shoots him a look as he inches closer, before a smile spreads on her face. He finds the smile unexpected, and watches her in silence.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

Damon smirks.

"Your idea of fun is...Sadistic."

"Says the vampire."

Silence follows, and is only broken when she speaks again.

"Look, Damon, I can't die. You can't die. What do we have to lose?"

"Have you ever thought about the what if?" Damon asks, cocking his head sideways. "What if you not dying is a fluke? What if I kill you and you die? Are you going to haunt me? Because I don't think I could stand you haunting me for an eternity. And I certainly couldn't stand talking to you through Jeremy, appearing whenever you wanted."

She smiles back. "I think I'd have better things to do than haunt _you_ for an eternity."

"Good." his smirk remains.

"I know the risk, Damon, but I also know that you can control yourself."

Damon scoffs with disbelief.

"Really?!"

"Really. You're a vampire who surrounds yourself with humans. You must have some control."

"You're a hunter who surrounds yourself with vampires." Damon counters loudly. "You must have had a really bad experience with them if you hate them so much you don't care to be around them, and this bad experience has led to your ability to control yourself. Don't take this as a compliment, because it certainly isn't one – but you're the strongest hunter I've met in terms of control. Sure, you've tried to kill me a couple times but most of the time you refrain from doing so."

She takes a step away. "Not this again."

Damon closes the distance, and moves closer.

"Yes, this again. If you want to spar against me, and I mean if you want to have any hope in hell of not dying, you need to feel something real. Anger, pain, rage. I don't care. Just feel, and fight with that or I'll kill you."

"And you..." she looks up, meeting his eyes. "What are you going to fight with, Damon?"

He shrugs.

"I'm a vampire, I don't have to fight with anything but my super strength and speed."

"Cheater." she smiles again.

Damon rolls his eyes, before he bends down and picks the stake up from the ground. He looks up and finds that she has also picked a stake up, and a smile tugs on his lips.

He twirls the stake around playfully in his hands. "Rules?"

"Real fighting."

"Yeah, we established that but I think we need some rules if you don't want me to accidentally kill you."

"We can draw blood. We don't break any bones on purpose, but if it happens then it happens."

The smirk returns to his face.

"No unnecessary neck snapping." he adds in.

Johanna nods. "Deal."

"You do realize that you don't have accelerated healing like I do?"

She simply nods in response.

"It's your risk." Damon points out.

"I know."

Johanna already knows that this is a risk. Being around Damon, and all of the other vampires in this town, is a risk. Life can be risky, it will probably always be, but sometimes you have to take the risks to get to the place you need to be.

"Okay. Let's start." she says.

Damon slams her back forcefully against the tree. He pulls her head back with his left hand, and presses the stake to her chest with his right hand. He holds her there for a moment, before finally speaking.

"And...Now you're dead. Again. Hey..Here's a tip: Don't announce that you're starting. You're already giving your opponent the upper hand if you do."

"Alright." she sighs. "Will you let go?"

Damon releases her slowly. "I thought you said-"

Johanna moves speedily. She takes his right hand and twists it so far back that it almost cracks. Damon groans loudly as she forces him back against the tree, pressing herself up against him while she places the dagger to his back.

"What was that, about the upper hand?"

"Keep up the gloating, Johanna." he breathes out heavily, breaking out in a grin.

Damon overpowers her quickly, grabbing her harshly by the wrists he twists them until a sharp pain surges through her and she's forced to drop the stake.

"And I'll break your hand."

She smiles back, and kicks him harshly in the kneecap before swiping the blade in the back of her pants.

"You'd need a hand to do that."

The blade goes through the back of Damon's wrist, causing a groan to rise in the back of his throat. He pulls out the blade carelessly, blood streaming from the wound, before he grabs her harshly by the back of the neck and slams her down against the ground. Damon then pins her arms behind her back and straddles her lower back, sitting comfortably and closely on her.

Damon leans down, and she can almost picture the smug smile on his face while he whispers in her ear.

"What was that, about having no hands?"

The sound of someone coughing nearby draws Damon's attention up, and he finds Stefan standing there with his arms folded over his chest and an unimpressed expression settled on his features.

"I can see that your training methods are really effective, Damon." Stefan smiles. "Who knew that pinning the hunter to the ground, and sitting on them, was the way to train them? Really, brother, my hat's off to you."

Damon's eyes become darker. "You're not wearing a hat."

"Could you get off me now, Damon?" Johanna asks, lifting her head up.

He shoves her head back down against the dirt. "Shut up. Now, brother, we aren't done. So, take that as a subtle hint and leave while I finish my effective training methods. Speaking of which, I was just about to break both of her arms."

"Hey-"

She tries to lift her head up again, but he shoves it back down against the dirt.

"Shut up, Johanna."

"I was actually hoping to have a word-" Stefan starts.

"Like I said, I'm busy." Damon answers.

"With Johanna." Stefan corrects him.

Damon falters.

"About what...?"

"Oh, that doesn't really concern you now, Damon. Does it?" Stefan smiles pleasantly. "It won't take long, only a few minutes. Then you two can get back to...Whatever it is that you're doing here."

After a moment of silence passes them, Damon gives in and sighs loudly with annoyance. He releases Johanna's arms, standing from the ground as he does. She rolls over in the dirt, standing up quickly. When she passes Damon by, she shoots him a look. He ignores her, and pretends to be observing an imaginary watch on his wrist.

"Tick tock." he says. "You're wasting time."

She frowns instantly. "You're not even wearing a watch."

Damon rolls his eyes and begins walking towards the cabin.

"When I'm done my scotch, you better be back here."

Johanna turns away from him and glances up at Stefan, who continues to smile at her. She smiles back.

"Hi." she says softly.

"Hi, Johanna? How are you?" he answers. "I mean, with the exception of my brother pinning you down and...Sitting on you."

A small laugh passes her lips. "I'm okay, Stefan."

"Would you like to take a walk? Because I'm almost certain he's still listening."

"Sure." she nods.

Once she has reached his side, the two walk in silence down to the pier by the lake. He turns to face her, still smiling, and waits for a moment. She speaks first.

"Is there something I can help you with, Stefan?"

"No, I'm not here for me. I'm here for you." he shakes his head.

She almost frowns. "Me? What for?"

"I wanted to check in on you, and see how you were doing after the curse. After everything that you went through in the cellar."

Johanna nods, releasing a small sigh as she does. She turns her gaze towards the waters edge and silently watches it for a moment. She watches the way that the light reflects and bounces off of the water, and how the small ripples crash over each other.

"Johanna?"

His voice breaks through her thoughts, and she turns back to face him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. The curse, right." she tries to smile, but it comes off as a grimace. "I meant what I said earlier. I'm fine, really. I don't feel anything when I look back on that. But your concern is touching. Unexpected, and unnecessary, but still touching. I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here, I didn't mean to waste your time."

Stefan's eyes are filled with a silent curiosity, because he doesn't believe her. He knows that she couldn't just be fine with it, there's no way. It was a painful and traumatic experience, but he doesn't want to push her for answers she doesn't want to give and he certainly doesn't want to make her talk about it.

"It's certainly not a waste of time, Johanna." he smiles. "But I want you to know that if you need to talk to anyone, and you don't feel like talking to anyone here, you can talk to me. I know Damon isn't always the best person to have a conversation with."

"Thank you." she returns the smile.

"Oh, and just so you know...Damon has a weak..Well, not a weak spot but there's a spot that always makes him fall. His lower abdomen. Hit him right there, really hard, and he'll go down."

Johanna's grin widens. "How do you know that?"

"Oh, you know...Past experiences, sibling fights, and all that." he continues to smile.

"Thank you."

Stefan nods. "Good luck."

Once Stefan has left the lake house, Johanna returns to the cabin and enters the kitchen. She finds Damon inside, standing by the sink with a glass of whiskey in his hands. She reaches for a glass, fills it up with water and then downs it whole. When she's finished, she turns towards him and smiles.

"You ready?"

He frowns and downs the rest of his whiskey. "You seem oddly energetic, considering you just got your ass kicked."

Her smile widens. "I've had my ass kicked before, and I've definitely kicked ass, and that back there wasn't ass kicking. And, if I recall correctly, my arm wasn't snapped. Oh, and I don't remember getting a knife through my hand either."

He meets her gaze.

"I was going easy before, but I won't hold back-"

Johanna cuts him off suddenly. "You know, I always thought you were the easy kind of guy."

Damon rolls his eyes, places his glass down and shoves her towards the door.

"Hey!" she smiles.

He shoves her out of the door, and outside onto the grass.

"Let's go."

They reconvene training minutes later. Damon doesn't wait for her word, and she doesn't wait for his. With the stake firmly in her hands she goes for it; Johanna darts forward, distracts Damon again by kicking him in the kneecap, and then she slams the stake into his lower abdomen. He falls to the ground instantly, clutching at this stomach for a moment before he pulls the stake out and looks up at her.

"Stefan told you, didn't he?!" he growls. "That bastard!"

She smiles and crosses her arms. "You look pretty energetic, considering you just got your ass kicked."

It takes Damon a moment, but soon enough he is up and has slammed Johanna back against a tree. He deliberately picked the tree with a sharp branch sticking out of the side. He slams her up against it, and it's like a stake digging into her back. Damon presses more pressure against her, and pain darts over her face.

His body falls against hers, and he holds a stake to her chest.

Wearing an almost manic expression on his face, his eyes meet hers and it's like he's about to lose control, like he's only just realized how close they are again and how easily he could kill her. It would take him seconds and she'd be dead.

"Dead, again." he finally releases her.

She can breathe again.

"Damon..."

"Sorry to interrupt your little training session." a familiar voice rings through the air.

It belongs to Rebekah.

"Wait, actually, no. I'm not sorry." she smiles.

Damon steps back immediately, turning to face Rebekah. She's standing a few feet away from them, dressed in a pair of black tights and a pink tank top. Her smile widens when she realizes how pissed off he looks by the simple sight of her.

"What the hell is this? What are you doing here?" he nearly growls.

"Thought I'd come down and pay my friend a visit."

"You got the wrong house then." Damon answers instantly. "You don't have any friends here."

"Actually, that's not true." Johanna speaks up.

She stiffens up after Damon shoots her a piercing glare.

"What?!" Johanna frowns. "She's my friend."

"Really?" he sounds beyond disbelieving.

"Yes." Rebekah's smile fades. "And, as friends do, I was hoping to have a chat-"

"Nope, not happening. We're training."

"Really?" Rebekah crosses her arms, lifting an eyebrow. "That, there, was training?"

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

"No, I don't. My schedule for today is free."

"Just like every day." Damon mutters under his breath.

Rebekah fights the urge to slam Damon against the nearest tree, or throw him a mile.

"Fine, since you're still training...I'll join."

"No, thanks. Not needed." he answers abruptly.

"I wasn't asking." she retorts.

"I wasn't accepting."

"Damon, she can stay if she wants."

"I'm sorry, since when did this become your house?" Damon angrily turns towards Johanna. "Wait, better question. Since when was it your place to speak? You're the trainee-"

"Why don't we clear something up?" she snaps back. "You are a trainer, but you are not my trainer. I am a hunter, of the Five, and I am certainly not yours. I think I have the right to train with whoever I want."

"Fine." Damon throws his hands up in the air. "If you want to train with her, go right ahead. Do whatever the hell you want."

"Thank you." she says finally.

Rebekah tries to hide a smile when Damon walks away. Johanna catches it.

"What?"

She shrugs slightly. "Nothing, I just like the sight of Damon Salvatore being put in his place."

"You two have history?"

"You could say that." Rebekah sighs. "Now, why don't we start with a run?"

"A run? I thought-"

"A run would be great." Rebekah smiles, and begins jogging slowly.

Johanna breaks out into a run, moving away without looking back. She quickly joins Rebekah's side, and they jog mostly in silence until they begin to divert from the usual path. Rebekah leads the way, causing Johanna to call out several times asking where it is they're running to.

Finally, Rebekah answers.

"I just wanted to get away from Damon," she stops suddenly. "Where he couldn't hear us, and we wouldn't risk any more of the gang coming back."

"Why?"

"You up for another few miles?" Rebekah asks.

Johanna pauses, casting a longer look over her friend.

"It must be serious, if you're that determined to get away from him."

"It is."

"Okay." Johanna agrees. "Let's go."

Eventually, Rebekah comes to a stop. Waiting for Johanna to catch her breath, she finally speaks up.

"Look, this is..." she stops near a fallen tree log, and sits down.

Stretching out her legs, Rebekah waits for Johanna to join her. She joins her shortly after, eyes carefully settled on Rebekah as she waits in silence. Thoughts swirl in her mind. Questions about what this could be about hover, but she doesn't push Rebekah to speak until she finally does.

"This is about Damon, and Matt...It's about the whole gang."

"What about them?" she asks.

Rebekah hesitates noticeably, before breathing inwards. "There's something you need to know."

"What?"

"You need to know that I wasn't completely honest earlier, when you asked me who Silas is. He is a story to tell children, but he is also very, very real."

Johanna nods once. "I know."

Rebekah nearly gasps. "What?! How? I don't.."

"I'm a hunter of the Five, Rebekah." Johanna almost smiles. "The purpose of the hunters is to find Silas. I know who he is. It's my duty to know."

"What... I don't understand. Why did you ask me then? You were-"

"I was trying to determine if I could trust you or not." she leans back slightly. "By asking you about Silas, I wanted to see if you'd tell me the truth. I needed to know that I could count on you."

Rebekah's frown dissolves, and a vulnerability fills her eyes. "And have you reached your conclusion?"

"Maybe." she evasively answers.

"Well, what is it?"

"You came here. Didn't you? To look out for me?"

She nods and almost smiles. "Yes, because I wanted to make sure they weren't using you."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what they're doing." Johanna nods, brushing her sweaty hair back off her face.

"Wait. You know-"

"For some reason, these vampires...Damon, Stefan, Elena..They want to destroy Silas too. That's why I'm here, isn't it? I worked it out. It's why they're training me, and Jeremy. Because two hunters, fighting against Silas, is better than one?"

Rebekah swallows tightly, considering her next options very carefully. She feels guilty, for some reason, that Johanna only knows a fragment of the truth and still trusts Damon Salvatore to train her. They don't want to train her to fight Silas. They want to use her cure to find Elena.

Johanna believes she knows the situation, but she's missing so much.

"Isn't that why?" Johanna repeats.

Rebekah releases a deep breath of air. "All I came here to do was to tell you to keep your eyes open, and watch your back so no one can place a dagger in it."

"I will and...I don't think it's like they're using me." Johanna says quietly. "I think they just want Silas gone as badly as I do, and I want to destroy him any way that I can."

"How did you know about him?"

Regret swells in her eyes. "I knew a hunter, before I became one. He taught me. He was...A love."

She smiles painfully at the last words.

"A love?" Rebekah frowns slightly. "I didn't think hunters were capable...Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it for you. I just meant-"

Johanna stops her suddenly. "Why would you think that? That we weren't capable of love? We are still human. We still feel everything."

"I know that, I thought you were all consumed by the..Need to kill vampires." Rebekah responds.

"We are, but we're still capable of feeling everything else."

"I was speaking from experience, actually." Rebekah admits. "I knew a hunter once, too. I loved him, and he put a dagger in my heart."

Rebekah isn't sure why, but with Johanna the words simply fall out. There's some sort of trust here, between the two of them, and she feels comfortable around her.

"I'm sorry, about that. And just so you know...We're not all bad, only most of us are."

Rebekah breaks out into a smile. "Same with us vampires."

"Thanks for coming around." Johanna stands from her seat. "I know, it wouldn't be easy for you considering..."

"Everyone here hates my guts?" Rebekah also stands.

"Not everyone. I don't."

She shrugs. "Give it time, you will."

"I have."

"So, you're saying..."

A small, uncertain smile creeps out on Johanna's face.

"It's been a long time since I've had friends. I'm new to this...Sort of stuff."

"So am I." Rebekah nods. "Maybe, I'll see you around? We could catch up? Get a drink? Maybe, do some shopping?"

"I like the sound of that."

"Good." Rebekah's smile widens. "Race you back?"

She breaks out into a quick jog.

"That's not a fair race!" Johanna shouts out.

Rebekah smiles and calls back loudly. "Who said I played fair?"

On her return, Rebekah finds two unwelcoming faces sparring down in the training area. Damon and Matt. They both look equally annoyed at the sight of her, but she doesn't care. Instead, she ignores them and waits for Johanna who returns minutes later. The two girls begin to spar, while Damon and Matt watch on.

"What does she even see in her?" Matt sighs.

He turns to face Damon, who looks like he could care less.

"I mean, she's a vampire hunter hanging around a dangerous vampire." Matt mutters quietly. "I get that she wants friends, but I don't know what they'd have in common."

"Yeah," Damon scoffs. "What idiot, vampire hunter would make friends with a dangerous vampire?"

Then, Matt understands.

"You and Ric-"

"It seems like one thing Ric and Johanna have in common; they both stupidly become best buds with vampires." Damon sighs, moving to the porch.

"Where are you going?" Matt calls out.

"Do some laps, or something. We're done here." he shouts back carelessly.

Matt rests by a nearby tree, with his legs crossed and his arms behind his head until Rebekah has gone. He looks like he's relaxing, like he's basking in the warm sun and having an afternoon off while he waits for Johanna to join his side.

Rebekah leaves eventually, after some training and sparring together, and Johanna eventually makes her way down to where Matt sits. She can't help but smile at the sight of him.

"You look _very _relaxed."

His eyes quickly open. Hey."

"How was your day?"

Matt shrugs and stands slowly. "Better than yours, I'm guessing. I got home and Damon was in a bad mood, pissed off, and bloody. He was a huge dick to me in training. So, I'm guessing your session went well."

She breaks out into a small laugh. "I guess."

Her eyes are momentarily drawn to the lake, before she turns back to face Matt.

"What are you doing now?"

"I was just waiting for you, so we could spar. Why?" Matt answers.

"Race you to the dock." she grins.

And then Johanna's off without another word.

"Hey!" Matt shouts out, running after her.

She remains in the lead, because of the head start, and when she reaches the dock first she throws her arms up in the air and turns to him. Smiling widely, she shouts to him.

"Champion of X-box! Champion of racing! Next, I conquer the world!"

Matt laughs. "Hey! We've been through this. I let you win on the x-box, and you cheated on this."

"You keep standing there and talking a game, big man, but at the end of the day you know the truth."

Another, louder laugh escapes Matt's lips. "You're such a cheater!"

She sighs and steps towards him, the smile vanishing from her face.

"Okay," she nods. "I'm sorry for that..And I'm sorry for this."

"For what?"

Johanna breaks out into a wild grin.

"This."

She shoves Matt forward playfully and pushes him off of the dock. He stumbles for a moment before he slips and falls back into the water, falling down into it. The smile spreads back on her face as she waits for Matt to resurface, for him to rise above the water and smile, laugh with her and shout at her. But he doesn't resurface.

Her smile falters.

"Matt?" she calls out.

She can just make out a figure below the surface, but he isn't moving or coming upwards. He's just floating, like she remembers floating in the pool the night Damon dragged her out.

"Come on." her voice breaks.

Only another second passes before she dives into the water after him. Once underneath the water, she opens her eyes and finds his are open. He pulls her upwards and they surface together. He's fine. A wide grin rests on his face, and a loud laugh passes his lips.

She looks furious.

"You're such an idiot." she scolds him, reaching for him and slapping him in the shoulder.

He laughs and ducks away from her, but she swims closer and hits him again and again.

"Such an idiot!" she loudly and angrily repeats, hitting him with every word. "So stupid! You just gave me a heart attack, Matt. You really don't know how stupid that was!"

His laugh becomes louder. "Serves you right for pushing me in!"

"Hey, watch it." she shoots him a look.

Matt laughs before he dives back under the water, resurfacing several seconds lately and breathing out heavily.

"God, it feels good." he smiles. "So calm..."

She agrees. "It does. I can't remember..."

But she does remember the last time she was completely underwater like this. She bites down on her bottom lip.

He turns back to her, finding her smile gone.

"Hey," he says.

She looks up at him.

"It's not so bad, this time. Is it?"

She frowns. "What?"

"I mean..Being in the water, it's not bad if you're not alone."

She nods and considers his words.

Her smile breaks out.

"You'd be alone in here if you weren't such a damn idiot."

His smile returns wider than before. "I'm gonna get you back for pushing me."

Matt splashes water at her, it hits her in the face.

"Oh, really?" she smiles.

"Really."

"I'm gonna get you back for calling me a cheater!" she swims after him.

* * *

After he has returned, Jeremy joins Damon on the porch outside the cabin. He briefly looks out to the place where Damon's eyes are settled, and finds that he's watching Johanna and Matt swimming in the water. They both look like they're having a great time in the warm water, underneath the nice sun.

"Idiots." Damon curses. "Go on and join them, if you want. What's one more idiot-"

"I want to talk to you, about Alaric."

Damon sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Not this again."

"Yes, this again." Jeremy replies.

Damon's phone rings just as Jeremy tries to continue the conversation. He sees that it's Caroline and pauses, deciding that he'd rather talk about whatever the hell Caroline is calling about than have this conversation.

"I gotta take this." Damon announces. "Scram."

Jeremy releases a low sigh before he moves inside the cabin.

Damon hesitates before he answers the phone.

"What you're doing is harassment."

He hears Caroline sigh on the other end. "What you're doing is being an ass!"

"Cut to it." Damon instructs. "You've already wasted enough of my time."

"It's already been decided, so I don't need your help anymore." she says vaguely.

He frowns. "Then, why are you calling me?! Wait...My help with what?"

"Jeremy's birthday is in three weeks-" Caroline starts.

"Really? You've been bugging me for hours about this? If you wanted to go shopping and get our nails done together, you're calling the wrong Salvatore brother."

Caroline cuts over him. "No, Damon. I wanted to ask if we could use the Salvatore House to host the party. Because it's big, and will fit-"

"No, no, no." Damon says quickly. "Not happening. Not even in your wildest dreams."

"Oh, but it is, Damon." Caroline answers. "It's happening. I don't need your permission anymore."

And he can almost picture the smug smile on her face.

"Stefan gave us permission to, and so did Elena. Two to one. You're outnumbered, and your vote doesn't really count _that_ much."

Damon nearly shouts at her. "Fine! Host it there, I don't care! Quit bugging me with all this teenage crap."

He hangs up the phone abruptly and turns to walk inside, to get a glass of scotch. He finds Jeremy standing in the doorway.

Damon sighs again.

"What?!"

"Alaric told me, Damon." Jeremy answers. "He's not here right now, and I don't know when he'll be back..Or if he'll even come back. But he told me about what you did to him."

"Could you try being a little less vague and annoying than that?" Damon snaps back.

"Ric told me that he remembers what you did to him, when he was off his vervain. He remembers that you compelled him to forget about Johanna. Completely. You wiped her clean from his mind, that's why he didn't mention her, that's why he never looked for her."

Damon falters noticeably, almost at a loss for words.

"I did what I had to-"

"That's a weak excuse, Damon. Even for you."

Damon moves speedily, so that he's standing in front of Jeremy.

"Watch your words, little Gilbert." he warns.

"You kept a brother away from his sister. For all that time, all those months he was in town..You kept them apart. You're the reason why."

"If you only knew what she did to him, the hell that she put him through, then I can guarantee you that you'd be far less judgemental and more understanding. I helped a friend. That's what I did." Damon says.

Jeremy shakes his head still. "You can try to justify this all you want with words, Damon, but it's not enough for me and it sure isn't enough for Ric. What you did to him was worse than what she ever could have done."

* * *

**A/N: Hi! :)**

**Here's another update, sooner than I expected. I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for reading. Sorry about any spelling mistakes I missed, if you find any please let me know..Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my story.**

**This chapter is a little longer than the usual ones, but I liked including everything I did and it felt right. So, I hope you like it and let me know your thoughts :) So...Johanna knows a little more than you thought, huh? She thinks that they want her to get Silas, not the cure. Will she catch on to what is actually happening? Who will spill it? Hm...****Next chapter is going to be Jeremy's birthday party! Now, I know this is different to the show (that's kind of the point of fanfiction, right? :)) as we aren't shown Jeremy's birthday in season 4 but for the purposes of this story it's going to be his party and his birthday. If there's anything that you'd like to see at the party, or at all, please do let me know. :)**

**Soundtrack: Matthew & the Atlas - Within the rose, Coldplay - Us against the world, Angus & Julia Stone - And the boys.**

**One Republic - Feel again (which I listened to while writing Damon and Johanna's training scene AND then later on I listened to a little of it again in the water scene with Johanna and Matt. You don't have to listen to it in a particular order, but this song would probably go better with those two scenes..Just a thought.)**

**A very special thanks to ****Julia, lilsis321, SophStratt, Sabine Christensen and Alsynea for their very kind reviews of chapter twenty. :) I really appreciate it, and love reading your thoughts and feedback.**

**Guest reviews:**

**Julia 9/20/13 . chapter 20: **Dear, Julia. Wow, thank you so much. I'm so happy you thought it was an awesome chapter, thank you! That really means a lot to me :) Aww, thanks again. I'm really glad you like the story and love Damon and Johanna! Thanks! I really wanted it to be as realistic as possible because Damon doesn't fall in love easy, and neither does she, so I wanted to show that there are going to be obvious ups and downs before they get to all the romance-y stuff. I'm really, really happy you're liking watching their relationship grow slowly. Thank you for reading my story :) I hope you enjoy this new chapter, and thanks again. Xo

**I hope you enjoy! **

**X**


	22. Young hearts and wild minds

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

_Love does that, it changes us._

Three weeks of intense, heavy, constant training passes them all by quickly. All and any free time was usually spent running, training, or, much to Damon's distaste, playing x-box. The occasional swim slipped into the plans. Their strength and stamina had grown, just as Jeremy and Johanna's desire to kill vampires had doubled and they had to learn how to control themselves better.

On occasion, Elena and Bonnie would stop by and visit while other days Stefan would join in the training and take over for Damon for a while. One particular afternoon, when Stefan had showed up, he'd caught Damon watching Johanna while she sparred with Matt. She won. A small smile had spread over his face, and pride had filled his eyes. Stefan hadn't been able to stop himself from speaking up.

"Careful, Damon. The wind might change, and you face might stay like that. Imagine if the rest of the world ever saw that real smile of yours. They'd be shocked." Stefan had grinned.

Damon's good mood had disappeared, along with his smile.

On the morning before Jeremy's birthday, Elena had called and asked Jeremy, Matt and Damon to stay the night at the Boarding House. Elena wanted this because she wanted to be with Jeremy when he woke up in the morning, and the lake house still held painful memories for her. She had considered extending the offer to Johanna, but quickly decided otherwise as she was well aware of what painful memories the walls of the Boarding House would hold for her. Elena also doubted that Johanna would say yes.

Damon agreed Elena's request, and told Jeremy and Matt to pack their things because they'd be leaving immediately. So, they packed their belongings eagerly, excitement for the party the following night bubbling between them. They pack and leave before Johanna returns, so she doesn't get the chance to wish them goodbye.

When she returns the cabin is empty, and she has no idea where any one is. Her feet lead her inside and she catches sight of a small note with handwriting scribbled messily over it. It rests on the table, so she walks to it and picks it up. The note is from Matt, and quickly tells her that they're staying at the Boarding House for the night and will see her the next night for Jeremy's party.

A sigh passes her lips while she puts the note down, and turns around to look at the empty cabin like she's now noticed this is the first time she's been alone in weeks. Johanna takes care of the dishes downstairs, cleans up, and then walks upstairs to her room. After taking care of her laundry, placing it in the washer downstairs to clean, she heads back up to her room. Shutting the door behind her, she picks up a blue bag from the floor and then pauses.

Damon's words replay over in her mind. His words about searching through her belongings. She shakily grips the bags and begins searching frantically through them, until she finds what she was looking for. She doesn't find it for a while, and a panic settles into her bones when she believes he may have taken it, hid it or even destroyed it. The moment she finds it she can breathe easy again.

After unfolding it carefully, she runs her fingers over the creases and traces the face in the picture before she picks up a book in her back and slides it inside. Johanna then transfers all of the items she doesn't want Damon, or anyone else, to see in the smallest bag and then zips it up. She then re-folds, and packs away, her clothes and puts her shoes away in the bags before they are placed back on the floor.

Next, she carries the small bag downstairs and to her car. Placing it in the back, she locks the car up and walks inside casually. Unsure of what to do once she is back inside, she decides to take the day off and relax for a while.

The day passes by slowly. Sunlight streams through the opens windows, beating down against her skin. She curls up on the couch beneath the window, basking in the sun as she enjoys an open book. Feelings that she hasn't felt in such a long time return to her. She feels relaxed and calm, but it doesn't last for long because soon enough her eyes are drawn to the whiskey bottle that stands in the middle of the wooden table. She suspects Damon left it out, as a test, and she refuses to even look at it.

She spends time wandering around, thinking about whether her brother is here with her or not. Johanna almost tries to speak to him, but she knows that he can't speak back so there's not really any point. The house becomes darker as they sun begins to disappear from the sky. Dark gray clouds form in the air, and soon unleash a heavy storm of rain on all beneath it.

Johanna closes all the windows and doors, double checking the locks on all of them, before she lights a fire and walks up to her room. She showers quickly, changes into a pair of brown pants and a short sleeve, baggy black shirt. After pulling on a pair of warm socks, she brushes out her hair and walks down the staircase. The exact moment that her feet hit the bottom stairs, a loud, abrupt knocking on the door rings through the air and she jumps.

She turns to the door and frowns, finding Damon standing outside in the rain. He looks pissed off, and an immediate smile cracks on her face at the simple sight of him. However, he is far from amused and soon shouts at her through the door.

"Unlock the damn door, Johanna, or I'll kick it down!" he shouts.

Pausing briefly, she walks to the door and unlocks it. He steps past her quickly, spelling of whiskey and rain. Her eyes remain on him after she shuts and locks the door, turning to find him standing before her. His eyes linger on her, and she feels a little uncomfortable.

"What are you doing here?" she frowns.

"You shut all the doors and the windows, and locked them?" Damon replies. "What, are you scared of the big bad wolf?"

"No, I like security. What are you doing here?"

"Don't flatter yourself." he rolls his eyes. "I didn't come here to spend the night with you, if that's what you're thinking."

"I'm not. I wasn't thinking that."

"Good." Damon nods briefly.

"So, why are you here?"

Johanna watches for a moment as he walks away from her, taking slow steps towards the whiskey bottle.

"Because I was slowly being driven towards the point of insanity where I was." he swipes the bottle from the table. "If you don't have any better plans, and I'm guessing you don't, why don't you join me?"

"What, you weren't leaving that there as a test?" she crosses her arms.

Damon makes a point of scoffing loudly, while he picks up two empty glasses.

"No, it wasn't a test. You can do whatever the hell you want on the days we don't have training. Tomorrow, apparently, we're not training because it's Jeremy Gilbert's birthday. So, yes, tonight you can drink because you won't be my hung over hunter tomorrow. You'll just be another, average, half human suffering from a hangover."

"What- I thought I was the pathetic drunk, as you so kindly put it? Why would you want to drink with me?"

He sighs and lazily scratches at his forehead.

"What was that saying...Oh, yes. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Think on that, and while you're at it don't take everything to heart."

Damon walks away quickly, collapsing down on the couch. He releases a content sigh and drags his eyes back to Johanna, finding her with her arms still crossed over her stomach. She stands still, her eyes settled on him. Damon lifts an eyebrow.

"Well, are you going to join me or not? Or, are you still deciding if you have a heart or not?"

A mixture of emotions dart over face in the next seconds that pass.

"Why do you do this?!" she snaps back loudly, walking closer. "Why do you put on this...This show of hating everything, of hating me so much? No one else is here, Damon. You can be civil, can't you?"

He shrugs carelessly. "I know what I can be, and what I don't have the effort to try and be."

More disbelief fills her eyes.

"See!" she shouts. "Why? Why do you have to say that, Damon? You're just, so frustrating. Why do you hate me? I haven't done anything to you, ever. Okay, maybe, there's the odd occasion that I snapped your neck and stabbed you but you hated me way before that and I think I deserve to know why. I can't understand, when I try, why there is so much built up hate and anger towards me. Before you even knew me, you hated me, and that's just unfair."

Damon releases a loud sigh before he pours to large glasses of whiskey. Then he glances up at her, and finds that she's still watching him. He feels slightly uncomfortable under her full, intent gaze.

"I don't like surprises. You were a surprise."

Her forehead knits into a deeper frown. "What? How?"

"Just take the seat, and swallow the drink." Damon sighs loudly. "I'm way too sober to be having _this_ conversation with you."

His eyes stay focused on her, and only her, as she walks silently to the couch. Taking a seat beside him slowly, her eyes dart up to meet his and she takes the glass from his hand. She downs half the glass before sighing loudly, and then swallowing the other half.

"Feel better?" Damon asks.

She reaches for the bottle, pouring herself a second glass. "I'm too sober to answer that."

Damon leans back into the couch, before he settles one hand around the glass and slings his other up on the couch. Above her. His arm almost hangs around her, and after a moment he casts a sideways glance at her.

"So..." she pulls her legs up on the couch, crossing them. "Damon. Teenagers almost drove you to the point of insanity?"

"Mm." he swallows another mouthful. "They were talking birthday ideas, gifts, and teenage crap like that."

Johanna turns to face him directly. "Hmm."

An immediate frown is painted over his face. "What?"

"I'm just going to take a guess and say you didn't have children?"

"What led you to that conclusion?"

"You don't really seem to have the...Patience for children."

Damon considers his response, before he leans in a little closer.

"Vampires can't procreate, Johanna, but we love to try."

For some reason she laughs. "Really?"

He simply smiles. Sweetly. She finds it charming. Real. Almost kind.

She has to draw her eyes away from him, when she realizes that she's staring openly.

"I mean, when you were human.." Johanna clears her throat.

"No, I didn't." Damon swallows the rest of his scotch in one mouthful. "That proved to be another of the _many_ good choices I made."

Silence builds back up between the two of them, and she finds herself wondering if his words are true or sarcastic. Damon breaks the silence.

"You know, considering you've known Jeremy for like...What? A few minutes? You don't have to feel obliged to go tomorrow."

"It's shocking."

She catches his full attention and gaze.

"What?"

"You're over a hundred years old, and you have no concept of time." she breaks out into a wild smile. "Absolutely shocking."

Damon fights a smile, and instead drinks more whiskey.

"I want to go." Johanna sighs. "Jeremy's been a good friend."

"Ooh." his expression shifts instantly. "Friend. So, you two are friends? And I guess that you can count the quarterback as a friend, showing that you do trust despite your claims that you don't."

"What's your point?"

"Nothing." he sighs, slowly glancing down at the wedding ring on her finger. "So, are you really married? Or is that just a way to keep away unwanted attention?"

She can feel his eyes burning against her skin, so she pours herself another drink.

"Why do you care?"

He shrugs. "I don't. I'm just asking."

"It's not really any of your business, Damon."

Damon should stop. He should take the hint, notice the shift in her exterior, and he should stop talking about this but he doesn't. The anger inside of him returns, and he uses it against her because he can't stop himself. He hurts her because he's beginning to care about her, and he doesn't understand it.

"Oh, so what..You can ask me whatever the hell you want, about whether I had any children, but I can't ask one simple question? It doesn't work like that."

He's surprised when she turns to face him.

"I don't know what you expected me to say, Damon."

"It was a simple question, I expected a simple answer."

"I don't have that for you, Damon, and I don't really want to do this." she stands up quickly.

Damon follows her movements, and stands too. "What happened? Did he leave you? And so, by wearing the ring, you're clinging on to the memory of what never lasted. Or is he just in your head like that hunter?"

"Why are you doing this, Damon?"

"Why can't you just give a simple answer?" he cocks his head to the right. "Why is he absent from Mystic Falls, as well any conversations that you've ever had?"

"He's not here."

"Clearly."

Disbelief returns to her eyes. "Why do you have to do this to me? Why can't you just let it be?"

"Because I can't stop myself, because that's just who I am. I don't have self control. It just comes out, and apparently with you it all just stays inside."

"You're wrong." she looks up reluctantly. "You do have control, Damon. I've seen it."

"You see what you want to see, just like when you look at that ring. You see the memory of what obviously never lasted. You're clinging to something false."

She walks past him speedily, but he stops her by grabbing her arm and tugging her back to face him.

"Why did you come here?" she snaps angrily, breaking free of his hold. "Why are you incapable of having a normal conversation with me?"

"Just in case you forgot, I'm not human and you're only half. So, we don't really fit in to the definition of 'normal' anymore." Damon inches closer.

"Why-"

"Why do I do this? I told you." he snaps back. "Because I can't stop myself."

Johanna holds her ground firmly against him. She looks up slowly, meeting his gaze, and finally the words pass her lips.

"I don't believe that."

Damon finds himself incapable of stopping the words. They fall from his mouth freely, quickly, and there's nothing he can do to stop them even if he'd wanted to. There's a part of him that wants to stop the words, to stop the lies, and confess the truth but the lies keep falling out because they're easier.

"I've probably told you this before, but I don't care. I don't care what you believe or what you do, and I sure as hell don't care what you think."

Fragments of hurt dart over her face, but before he can focus on them or see them clearly they disappear. She becomes guarded, but he can see through it and catches the anger the lies beneath. Damon doesn't want to do this. He didn't come here to argue with her. If he's honest with himself, he doesn't really know why he came here in the first place.

"You've made that clear many times, Damon." she crosses her arms. "So, why did you come here? Why do you bother talking to me when you don't really care? We made that deal, Damon. No feelings, no words - nothing unnecessary. This hate, and this constant need to just prove the hatred, is unnecessary and I-"

"You did it." Damon stops her suddenly, his voice rising above the rain falling on the roof.

All falls silent, but the silence doesn't remain with them for long.

"What?"

"You did...It." he says slowly, cautiously, like he's trying to avoid saying the words.

She doesn't understand, this much is clear from the expression which soon falls upon her face.

"What are you talking about, Damon? I don't understand."

Somehow, he keeps his gaze firmly settled on her but for now he doesn't say anything. Damon thinks on the truth of the situation, their situation, and the words continue to swirl in his mind. They swirl, and become louder, and he knows that they'll escape eventually but for now he remains in silence.

"Damon." she says finally.

Still, nothing.

"God." Johanna sighs loudly.

He watches as she runs her hands over her stressed features.

"You can be so frustrating sometimes." she moves to the staircase.

"_You_ broke it."

His words stop her, and she turns slowly to face him.

"You broke the compulsion." Damon elaborates further.

The stressed expression that had settled upon her features disappears, and there's only confusion left.

"No, I didn't. Damon, that wasn't me. It was Jeremy."

"Believe me, I wish that was the truth." he looks up slowly. "It wasn't Jeremy. He called Stefan literally five seconds after he killed Kol. You and I, we were down there...And it was broken for at least fifteen seconds before Jeremy even called. You were the one...You broke it."

Her words catch in her throat. "Are you-"

"Yes, I'm sure. I worked it out." he sounds annoyed. "I worked it out, and it was you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she finally asks.

Damon takes note that her expression has softened considerably, and is now empty. Her wide, soft, sweet brown eyes are set on him. He swallows tightly, unintentionally glaring back at her.

"Because, apparently, I'm incapable of normal conversation."

"What, and this is your way of thanking me?" she glares back. "By being a total dick about it?! You're right, you're not normal!"

"You think I want to thank you?" he cracks a disbelieving smile. "I don't want to thank you, Johanna. You have messed everything up for me."

"How?" she shouts back. "By saving your life? Oh, I'm sorry, Damon. I'm sorry I thought that I should do the right thing. I'm sorry that I thought your life was worth saving. Please, be pissed with me. I deserve it for doing such a horrible thing. Next time, when you're life is in danger, I'll just walk away-"

"You broke the compulsion that no one else could break!" Damon shouts over her.

She falls silent immediately, watching as he continues quickly.

"No one else could break it! Not Stefan. Not myself. Not even..."

"Who?" her voice finally breaks the silence.

Rain falls down heavier now. It grows louder, making the tense silence only more obvious.

"Who, Damon?"

Then, she understands.

"Not even _Elena_."

When the words pass her lips, he shifts obviously. Damon's posture becomes tighter, more rigid, than it was seconds earlier and his eyes rest on her. Dangerously cold. Beautifully blue. They are settled on her for a moment, and he doesn't say anything. He simply watches her. Observes her. Takes in the details of her, while he tries to take in what he's feeling.

"Oh." she comes to a sudden realization.

"What?"

"You're angry with me because I broke it, when _she_ couldn't."

"Yes! I'm angry with you. I'm angry that you broke it when you should have just kept out of that damn cell. I'm angry that you shot me in the head, when you should have aimed for the heart. And, yes, I'm angry with you for coming to this town. But that doesn't mean that I'm not thankful, or that I don't care about you, because I am and I..."

"You what, Damon?"

"I'm angry with you."

"You don't think I don't know that? Of course I do, Damon." Johanna answers loudly. "You're nearly always snarly, and angry, and pissed whenever I'm around. Did you think I didn't notice? Because I did, but I don't care because you make me just as angry."

Damon rolls his eyes.

"You are frustrating, and moody, and can be such a huge dick! You have hated me right from the moment that we met at the Grill, and that is just unfair, and unwarranted, and I-"

"Sorry," Damon almost smiles. "I stopped listening at the part where you said I had a huge di-"

Johanna slams her opens fists forward, shoving Damon in the chest. He stumbles back slightly, and almost smiles at her attempt to hurt him.

"See!" she exclaims. "You're such a jerk!"

"Yeah? Well, I don't care what you think!" he leans in closer. "And, while we're on this subject, you're not exactly a ray of sunshine either!"

"Yeah?" Johanna inches closer, not afraid to be this close. "I don't care what you think!"

"Good, we both don't care!" he shouts back. "That means we both won't care about what happens next."

Damon's hands fall to her cheeks and he quickly pulls her forward to kiss her. Her heart beats heavily in her chest, and she almost kisses him. Their lips brush against each others, and her hands fall to his neck, but before anything can happen she breaks away. Her walls shoot back up, her hands fall against his chest, and she pushes him away angrily. She strikes him in the face harshly.

Tears well in her eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Me?" he snaps back. "You just hit me in the face! What's wrong with you?"

"You just came on to me right after you taunted me about my dead husband." she shouts, her eyes brimming with tears. "What the hell, Damon?! I don't-I can't...I.."

The anger that had momentarily filled Damon's face disappears as he truly takes a moment to listen to her words.

"He's dead?" Damon's voice is significantly quieter.

Her eyes dart around the room like she's searching for a quick exit, but the reoccurring sound of rain pouring down outside reminds her that she doesn't really want to go out there. She avoids Damon's gaze on purpose, because she doesn't want to look at him right now.

"You were right..." she says, her voice barely a whisper.

Damon fights the urge to stop her as she begins walking to the staircase.

She stops on the bottom step, and turns back to him. Her eyes find his, much to both of their surprise, and Johanna speaks again.

"You were right."

He feels guilty, and he doesn't want to be right.

"I'm clinging to the memory of what never was, what never lasted. I'm clinging to a ghost, but that's my own business. It sure isn't yours."

She leaves the room and is upstairs before Damon can think of a response to her words, and even in her absence he finds nothing to say, no words to use, to answer her words, to reply to that information, so instead he pours himself more whiskey and retakes his seat on the empty couch.

When he shuts his eyes, and focuses on what he can hear around him, he hears upstairs the sound of items shattering, being thrown and tossed to the ground, and the sound of heavy breathing, a fast pounding heart, and muffled crying. His eyes open slowly and there is a new element in them, a shred of regret almost, but as he swallows more whiskey it vanishes.

* * *

The silence surrounds her completely when she wakes, finding herself settled on the ground. Johanna cracks her neck to the side, to remove a kink, before she rubs her eyes and sits upwards. Now, she realizes that she fell asleep on the round. She looks down and frowns at the sight. A blanket has been pulled up over her bed, and a pillow was placed beneath her head.

Johanna stands slowly, rubbing at her neck as she does. Her body feels sore and raw as she stands, and after sighing loudly she stretches out. After standing slowly from the ground, and settling a blanket down on the end of the bed, she turns and looks at the room. More confusion falls over her. The room is not the mess that she left it. It has been tidied, cleaned, and the items which she had thrown to the ground have been replaced. All that is missing is the lamp, but she shattered that.

Her eyes close tightly. "Damon?"

She calls out twice more but receives no answer, so she ventures downstairs and finds the lower level empty. Her feet lead her outside, on the porch, and there is no sign of him. His car is gone too. After returning inside, she walks upstairs and decides to change for a run but the moment she enters the room the sound of her phone buzzing echoes in the silence. Eventually she finds her phone, tucked away in the deepest corner of a bag.

Three new messages appear on the screen. Two from Matt, and one from Elena.

She opens the messages slowly.

Matt: **Hope you're having a great night, relaxing at home alone. Can't wait until tomorrow, Jeremy's party will be awesome. A good chance to relax, after all the hard work Damon put us through. If you need anything message me. See you tomorrow.**

Matt: **The girls were talking about swimming - it made me think of you. You better watch it, I'm still gonna get you back! **

Elena: **Hey, Johanna! It's Elena. If you're not busy today, why don't you come around to the Gilbert House? Caroline and Bonnie will be there too. We're going to get ready for the party tonight, so it'll be like a girls day. If you're interested, message or call me back. I'd love to catch up, and know that the girls would love to see you again and get to know you!**

After tossing her phone down on the bed, Johanna heads out for her run. She runs for over an hour, before she returns to the cabin and returns to her room to find that she has received another message from Elena.

Elena: **We're meeting at the Gilbert House around 1:30. Let me know if you can be there. We'd love to see you, and catch up. It's been a few weeks.**

A part of Johanna wants to accept this offer. It sounds like fun, and she believed she might enjoy herself, but after last night with Damon she doesn't feel up to it. His words still replay over and over in her mind, and she can't deny that the idea of spending the day alone in the cabin sounds better right now. She hesitates, before speedily replying to the message.

To: Elena: **Sorry, Elena. It sounds great, but I can't make it. Thanks anyway. You girls have fun.**

Minutes later she receives a reply from Elena.

Elena: **I'm sorry that you can't make it, Johanna, it would have been nice but it's okay. See you tonight, and if you need anything call me.**

Johanna spends the long, silent day by herself. She occupies her mind, and her time, by running, training, and exercising. Eventually, she returns inside and changes into baggy brown pants and a green sweater. She curls up on her bed upstairs, pulling the blanket up over her she reaches for the book on the bedside table and opens it. Breathing a small sigh of relief, feeling relaxed for the first real time since last night, she almost feels calm.

Then her phone rings.

She struggles to reach it, where it is settled on the table by her bed. Eventually, she grips it tightly and leans back in bed. Reading the caller ID first, a small sigh escapes her mouth and she initially hesitates before finally answering it.

"Hi, Matt."

"Hey!" he answers instantly. "Jo. How are you doing?"

She shuts her book with one hand, and sits up in bed.

"Good. Why?"

"Just checking in on you." Matt responds. "So, I'm guessing you're almost here. Right?"

"Oh." Johanna shuts her eyes. "Yeah, I'm not almost there. I'm not even on my way."

"What?! Why not?"

"I forgot, and I'm tired..."

"Rough day?"

She nods, reopening her eyes. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Well, I know the perfect thing for a busy day. A relaxing night." Matt says eagerly. "Come on, it's just starting now and it's already fun."

"I don't know, Matt."

"Come on!" he pushes. "Please!"

"I don't know, okay?" she snaps back.

There is an obvious moment of pause, before he speaks again.

"You okay? Did something happen?"

"No, Matt. I'm just tired."

"Please, just come for an hour. That's all I'm asking. Jeremy was really looking forward to seeing you, so was Elena." he pleads.

She gives in eventually. "Fine!"

Johanna can almost picture the smile on his face.

"Good. See you soon."

Matt hangs up seconds later, leaving her in a cold silence. Her eyes shut once more, and she almost considers calling back and saying she really can't come, but she knows that he won't change his mind and he might even come out here if he has to. Soon enough, she finds herself up from the warm place on the bed searching through her bags for something to wear. She looks through the piles of shirts and pants, until she finds the few dresses that she packed wedged into the corner of the bar.

She pulls out a plain, long sleeve, short black dress. A favourite of hers. A row of silver and dark blue patterned beads run across the top of the dress. It has a high collar and a low back, and she only remembers the part about the low back once she has pulled it on. Turning around in the bathroom, she glances back at the mirror and takes a look back at her reflection. Light scars, and fresh bruises, mark her skin. Just like the scars from Damon, and Kol's, teeth have left their own marks on her neck. The high collar covers those mostly.

Johanna focuses on fixing up her hair. It is wavy, and thick, but has become slightly straighter due to being pulled up for the entire day. The room is silent when she returns to it. After pulling on her thick, dirty training boots she picks up her phone and the keys to her car. The house keys are sitting on the table downstairs, and she picks them up on her way down. Locking the doors first, she walks quickly down to the path towards the car.

The air outside is crisp and comfortable.

Once she inside her car, Johanna locks it from the inside and begins to search through the bags in the back seat of her car until she has found exactly what she's looking for. A pair of thick, simply black heels. She slides out of her training boots, puts them on the floor in front of the passengers seat, and then slides on the tall heels.

Then, she reaches into the bag beside her and eventually pulls out a thigh holster. Sliding it up over her left foot, she tugs it up her leg until it rests comfortably around her thigh. The holster sits comfortably on her thigh for a moment, while she reaches for the handgun she beneath the seat. Filled only with wooden bullets. She checks it, and then she slides it into the holster. The last item she slides on is a black garter, which she pulls up to keep the gun tightly in the holster.

After fixing up her dress, Johanna starts the engine and sets her eyes on what lies before her. Before she moves to go anywhere, she hits another realization. She's going to show up empty handed to his party, because she doesn't have a gift. Shutting off the engine abruptly, she sighs and closes her eyes tightly trying to push away the feeling of not belonging anywhere.

* * *

The house is busy with people and buzzing with sounds, music and loud laughter.

Damon walks down the staircase slowly, his eyes carelessly skimming over the guests. He moves down the stairs, eventually reaching the last step and descending to the floor. Dressed in a long sleeve, navy blue shirt and tight black pants, his eyes are eventually drawn to Elena. She's standing across the room, talking and drinking with Caroline. He considers walking up to her for a moment, but he is momentarily sidetracked by the sight of the next guest.

Johanna walks through the large, open front doors slowly. She walks with an obvious uncertainty, like she's still deciding if she can make it out of here without being seen. In her hands she carries a lump of newspaper. Damon suddenly finds that he can't draw his eyes away from her, even if he'd wanted to. But he doesn't want to look away. For a moment he feels like he can't move either. Slowly, his eyes travel over her. Thoughts of how good she looks swirl in his mind.

Her eyes lock with his, but she doesn't smile. Not that he expected her to. Damon certainly didn't expect her to walk down to him, but seconds later she's descending the small set of stairs and walking casually towards him.

"So, how do I clean up?"

She speaks but for a moment he doesn't catch it.

Damon can't help his response. "Not so bad, for a _hunter_."

There's almost a shred of bitterness in his voice, but she doesn't pick him upon it. Tension hangs in the air between the two of them. Damon hesitates, like he's uncertain of what to say or do next. She doesn't want to hang around him, if only more silence and tension will follow, so she takes a step forward. He stops her abruptly, catching her hand with a surprising gentleness.

His eyes roam over her, stopping on her back. He finds something of interest, something that he's never noticed before. A tattoo. Words engraved on the right side of her back. Right beside her spine, near her lower back. She stops when he brushes her hair out of the way with his fingers.

"Temnoye mesto raskryvayet yarkiye istiny." he whispers quietly.

Damon's fingers brush gently and tenderly against her skin, and he almost smiles when he notes the intake of her breath. His fingers trace her spine, and she turns back to face him. Her eyes shut briefly when he echoes the words, which soon pass her lips. She translates it.

"The darkest place reveals the brightest truth." her voice is soft.

He takes as step closer once her eyes are opened. Leaning in, he whispers in her ear.

"Muzhestvo ostayetsya posle strakha ischezla...Not that I have any idea what that means."

Johanna steps away, causing his hand to slip away from her back. Her curls fall back in place, covering her back, and she allows her eyes to lock with his once more.

"Courage remains after the fear has faded."

"Wise words." Damon remarks, falling into the silence once more.

The silence doesn't hold any bitterness anymore. It isn't dark, or tense, it's filled with questions never asked and words never said. Damon breaks away from the silence, and her, somehow managing to take his eyes away from her for a second.

"Enjoy the party." he calls out, walking away. "Don't drink too much, we've still got training tomorrow."

Damon walks easily away, moving to pour himself a glass of whiskey. He halts briefly, for an unknown reason, and glances back to find her standing in silence. Alone. Her eyes focused on the ground beneath her feet. He almost considers going back to her. Almost. Until Matt joins her side.

"Johanna!" he exclaims loudly.

She immediately turns to look at him, a smile returning to her lips.

"Hey, Matt."

His grin widens as he nears her. "It's good to see you. You look great."

"So do you."

"What did Damon want?" he asks.

Her smile widens. "He was just telling me where the drinks were, and being his usual jerk self."

"Don't worry about him." Matt smiles. "Thanks for coming."

"Sure." she exhales a little nervously.

"Jeremy's over there." he points in his direction. "I'll catch up with you in a second. I'll be right back, okay?"

Johanna nods quickly. "Sure, see you."

He squeezes her shoulder reassuringly. "Yep! See you soon. I'll be right back."

She breaks away from him and begins walking slowly to where Jeremy stands, next to the fireplace with a group of unfamiliar faces. More faceless strangers. When she reaches his side, she settles a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

He turns to her instantly.

"Jeremy." Johanna half smiles.

Jeremy turns to her, smiling wildly when he realizes it's her.

"Excuse me." he says to the ground, before turning to her.

"Thanks for coming." he embraces her tightly. "I really appreciate it."

She hugs him back briefly, before breaking the embrace and continuing to smile.

"Happy birthday."

"Thanks. It's been...Surprisingly good so far."

"Um..." she pauses. "This is for you. Your present."

His eyes fall down to the weirdly shaped newspaper in her hands. When he looks back up to her, he finds that all traces of a smile have vanished from her face.

"All I had to wrap it with was newspaper." she says awkwardly.

He smiles still. "Jo, it's fine. Really. You didn't have to get me anything at all."

"I didn't buy it."

Jeremy still smiles, but a slight frown flickers on his face. "Um.."

"I didn't make it, or steal it!" she answers quickly. "God, this really is just sounding worse by the second. Isn't it? Just, open it and see for yourself."

He takes the package slowly, unwrapping it it in seconds. Finding inside the paper something that makes him smile. It's a long sleeve, dark green button up shirt.

"Is this..."

"One of Ric's? Yeah, I guess his style didn't really change coming to town. Now, this was one of his favourites. He left it behind when he moved...I thought you might like it, even if it's a little big. But you're big, so it will probably fit. And by big, I mean muscly because clearly you're muscly and I'm just..." Johanna takes a step away, gesturing to the table piled with drinks. "I'm going to get a drink."

Jeremy catches her outstretched hand and holds it, smiling widely.

"Thank you, Johanna. This is great."

"Really?" she smiles nervously.

"Yes, really." he nods enthusiastically. "I love it. I'm gonna wear it on special occasions."

"Great."

Her smile falters when she briefly glances across the room to find Damon glaring at her. His eyes are narrow, she finds he resembles a hawk almost, and he watches her so intently that she feels uncomfortable.

"I'm going to get a drink." Johanna continues to smile, taking a step backwards. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure." Jeremy beams. "Thanks again, for coming and for this."

She nods stiffly, before walking towards the tables filled with drinks and surrounded by more nameless strangers.

Jeremy watches her walking away for a moment, before he breathes out heavily and briefly shuts his eyes. He feels burdened with the guilt of knowing that Damon forced Alaric to forget her, but before Jeremy speaks to her about it he needs to hear from Alaric and find out what he wants. He'll keep it from her now, until the timing is right.

Caroline joins Damon's side quickly, frowning slightly. "What are you looking at?"

"Not your business." he snaps back.

She follows his gaze. "Is that Johanna, over there?"

Damon doesn't spare her a glance, and continues to stare across the room with his arms crossed tightly.

"What about that sentence did you not understand?"

Caroline sighs loudly. "She's a hunter at a birthday party for another hunter. Surrounded by vampires and a witch. That sounds like the perfect recipe for a great party."

"I'm trying to figure something out, so shut it." he almost growls.

"What?"

"I'm trying to figure out whether she has a stake or a gun strapped around her thigh." he answers eventually.

Caroline steps in his way, blocking his view. "I don't care which one she has on, just make sure she doesn't use it on a guest."

"What do I look like, her personal body guard?" Damon frowns. "Because I am most definitely not."

"I didn't ask you to protect her. I said to make sure she didn't use it on any one else."

Damon nearly cracks a smile. "Is the vampire suddenly scared of the vampire hunter?"

Caroline scoffs loudly. "No."

"You should be." Damon finally smiles. "She's good."

* * *

**A/N: Hi! Here's another, quick update. Thanks for reading and I hope you like this new chapter. :) **

**I apologise for any spelling errors that I may have missed, and if you find any please let me know. A special thanks to the kind reviews of chapter 21: SophStratt, Julia, Joyscott13 and Alsynea :)**

**Guest review:  
****Julia 9/22/13 . chapter 21: **Hi, Julia! Thank you very much for reading my story, I'm really happy that you loved this chapter :) I hope you enjoy this one. Chapter twenty three will be the second half of Jeremy's birthday party, and I hope you'll enjoy reading that too. Thanks again :) it means so much to me. Xo

**Enjoy**

**X**


	23. Shadow hearts

******Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made**

******AN: Soundtrack: Tiffany Alvord - Glad you came, Lana Del Rey - Video Games (Youtube search Lana Del Rey Video Games lyrics for the slower version), Daughter - The wild youth.**

* * *

_I have a problem I need help with._

After slamming down the small shot glass, Johanna breathes out and looks to her left, smiling at Jeremy and Matt as they finish their shots. The room around them is crowded, especially where they stand at the end of the tables filled with drinks.

"You guys are way too good at doing shots." she smiles.

Matt breaks out into a bigger grin. "Yeah, because we've had years of practice-"

"No, don't tell me that." Johanna shuts her eyes.

Jeremy proceeds to pour them all another round.

"Hey, we're teenagers. What did you think we spent-" Matt begins.

Her eyes fly open and she slaps Matt in the shoulder.

"I know, Matt. I was you once. Okay, so not _you_ exactly...But I was a teenager once, and I remember what teenagers do. And...God, I just feel like I'm that person that all your parents hate."

"What?" Jeremy laughs a little, handing her another glass.

They swallow their shouts simultaneously, before slamming them down. Jeremy pours another round.

"I'm that-I'm that irresponsible adult, that lets your kids get drunk and...Instead of doing something, I'm getting drunk with them! Oh, my god. I'm _that_ person."

"Hey," Matt continues to smile. "You're not irresponsible, and you're not a chaperone here. You're at a birthday party for your friend, and you're having fun. Come on, just admit it. You're having a great time."

"Yeah...Sure, this is fun." Johanna exhales. "I mean, right now I feel closed in, like I'm stuck in a broom closet. People keep rubbing their butts against me, and grinding on me, and I swear if one more person touches my ass and says it was an 'accident' I'm going to punch them in the face."

"I'd love to see that." Matt grins widely.

Before they can grip their shots, a louder voice fills the air beside them.

"Matt, Jeremy." Caroline smiles. "Can I steal you two away for a moment?"

"Uh...But we were about to-" Jeremy lifts the shot glass up.

She takes it from his hand, placing it down on the table.

"It'll still be here when you get back." Caroline says.

"Ooh." Johanna bites down on her bottom lip. "Yeah, I can't guarantee that."

"Just, please, this way." Caroline begins to drag them away.

"We'll be right back." Matt calls out, as he begins to slowly disappear through the crowd. "Okay?"

"Sure." Johanna returns the smile.

"Don't touch my drink." Jeremy grins.

"What's that? Finish the shots? Okay, I can do that!" she calls back.

After they have disappeared into the crowd, Johanna turns back to the table filled with drinks. She swallows the three shots, leaves the empty glasses on the table and pours herself a fresh glass of whiskey.

She breaks away from the table, finding a little more relief and peace away from the large, dancing, talking crowds in the middle of the parlor. Finding more air in the space by the stairs, Johanna swallows her glass of whiskey in two mouthfuls and breathes out after.

Fifteen minutes pass before anyone approaches her.

"Are you really having _that_ much fun?" Stefan steps toward her, a smile spreading on his face.

She turns to face him, half smiling when she realizes who it is.

"What makes you think I'm not having fun?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because you've been standing by yourself for the last fifteen minutes."

"Why didn't you come over here and join in on the fun?" she lifts an eyebrow.

Stefan's smile widens. "I thought you were waiting for someone, and I didn't interrupt."

"Well, I wasn't."

"I know that now." Stefan answers. "Can I get you another drink?"

"Yes, thanks." Johanna's smile returns. "I just have to go to the bathroom."

"It's down there..." he leans in, and gestures to a small hallway. "And to the right. The third door. You know, I thought you might know where it was considering you did break in here."

"I didn't break in to use the bathroom, Stefan." she grins. "And I'm sorry, about the broken glass."

Stefan shrugs slightly. "Don't worry about it. You can make it up to me by drinking with me when you get back."

"Sounds like a fair deal to me."

Johanna turns away and moves slowly, struggling at points to fit through the crowds of people moving and dancing in the dimming, fading lights in the room. Lights, that were hired for the night, of various colors. Gold, red and blue. Shining down, sparkling on those beneath.

Following Stefan's instructions, she goes down the hallway and takes a right. Reaching for the third door, she finds it slightly ajar and pauses before pushing it open slightly. She peers through it slightly, managing to catch a glimpse of the large mirror hanging on the wall. In the reflection of the mirror she sees Elena and Damon, pressed up against the wall.

Instantly, she backs away from the door and releases the handle. Turning away quickly, she steps back down through the hallway and into the crowd. On her way back to Stefan she bumps into several guests, including a very tall man who nearly knocks her over. Johanna apologizes briefly, not glancing at him, before quickly returning to Stefan's side.

He holds a glass of whiskey in his hands.

"Did you find the bathroom?" he asks.

"What?" she frowns.

Johanna takes the glass from his hands and downs half of it in a mouthful.

"Did you find the bathroom?" Stefan repeats slowly.

"Oh, yeah. I did but it was...Otherwise occupied."

At that exact moment Damon and Elena walk out from the hallway together, side by side, looking a little guilty. Stefan knows, just by the look in his brother's eyes, that something happened. For a moment he falters, before swallowing his entire drink whole.

"I don't know if it's even possible, but this party just got even better." he smiles weakly.

"Want to get outta here?" she bites down on her bottom lip. "The Grill should still be open. Right?"

"Why on earth would we leave, when we have all of this free alcohol here?"

"Because...It's a little awkward."

"Well, then let's drink until it stops being awkward. How does that sound?"

"That..." Johanna smiles. "Sounds like the best thing I've heard all night."

Stefan leads the way down towards the table of drinks. After looking over the bottles and glasses, he picks up two plastic cups and instructs Johanna on what bottles to pick up. He picks up several, before walking down to the balcony outside.

Groups of people are scattered throughout the house, and that includes the balcony but they manage to get right in the corner where it's just the two of them.

The bottles are set down on the railing.

"Looks like our own little party." Johanna exclaims, leaning back against the rail. "It's nice out here. I feel like I can breathe again."

Stefan smiles, pouring them both a drink. "It is nice."

When he hands the glass to her, she falters.

"What's this?"

"A mix of my own. Try it." he answers. "Here's to..Tonight."

"Tonight?" she looks up slowly.

Stefan nods quickly. "Yes, tonight, because there will never be another night like this...When we are this age, or this awkward, or when everything is exactly how it is right now. Social exclusion and all."

Her grin widens and she laughs lightly. "You paint with your words, Stefan Salvatore. Has anyone ever told you that before?"

"Various times." he leans back against the railing, resting beside her. "To tonight."

She hits her cup against his. "Tonight."

After several more big drinks, and conversation filled with laughter, Stefan comes up with a suggestion. It sounds ridiculous to her, but he's persistent.

"Come on! All I'm asking for is one dance. Is that too much to ask?"

"Hey, don't give me those puppy dog eyes." she smacks him in the shoulder. "I'm not a very good dancer."

"Oh," his grin widens. "I doubt that very much. The-The way you move, is elegant."

She scoffs, nearly snorting her drink out through her nose. "Elegant? Me? Yeah, okay. You're a little drunker than I thought."

Without asking, Stefan takes the cup from her hand and settles it down on the railing. Then, he takes her by the hand and pulls her up so she's standing.

"Hey, this isn't fair. You're stronger than me!"

"One dance." he calls back.

"Stefan, come on. I'm not much good!"

Stefan drinks from the bottle in his hand, before extending it to her. "I find that really hard to believe, Johanna, but if it's true then, luckily, I'm a great teacher."

"If you're as good a dancer as you are a poet, we're both screwed." she snatches the bottle from him. "And I'll need more of this!"

Stefan ignores her words and leads her down the hallway again, to the main room. The lights shift again, and become a bright mixture of blue and green. He leads her out to a spot on the dance floor, in the middle of the room. She swallows a little more from the bottle, before she passes it to Stefan who finishes the rest of the bottle and walks away briefly to put it down.

When he returns to her side he finds her smiling and laughing infectiously.

"What?" he smiles.

"I think I need some help. I look really bad next to everyone else."

"You don't want to dance like them." he laughs, taking her by the hand.

"Why not?"

"Because they all look like idiots!" Stefan shouts back, over the music which becomes a little quieter at that very second.

A few people nearby turn and shoot him glares, and it causes Johanna to laugh a little louder and cover her mouth. She leans in closer, and speaks again.

"And what do we look like, next to them?"

"We're invisible, remember?" he beams back.

Stefan spins her around under his arm, causing her hair to flick around. The music fastens. The lights shift and change, soon becoming yellow. Their bodies move to the rhythm of the music, just like those around them do.

"I think...You may be getting the hang of this."

"Really?

"Really. You don't look too bad out here but wait...Let me show you something."

Taking her hand and holding it, he guides her a little around the floor. Her smile glows under the yellow lights, when he twirls her around slowly.

"You're okay at this."

A smug smile spreads over his face.

"Told you so."

"I said you were okay, not that you were good."

"I'm better than you." he snaps back teasingly.

"Hey, you don't know that." she feigns offense. "I'm better than you think."

"Alright, so show me something." Stefan holds his hands up in the air. "Show me some moves."

"Oh, I'll show you some moves alright."

Johanna pulls back from him, before she rolls her hips to the music and spins around. Then, she draws him in by catching his empty hand and pulling him towards her. She tries to twirl him around, but fails when he doesn't want to. Stefan grins, and stays rigid, as she comes crashing awkwardly against him.

"You're supposed to twirl!" she hits him in the chest.

He laughs loudly. "Forgive me, if I want to keep my dignity."

"We're invisible, remember?! Who cares about dignity!" she grins.

"Apparently not." Stefan's smile falters.

His eyes are soon drawn to the furthest corner of the room. She stops and turns around, finding Damon glaring at the two of them. Johanna hesitates before turning back to Stefan and smiling. She watches him closely for a second before finally speaking.

"You're not going to ditch me on the dance floor, just because Damon makes you feel uncomfortable. Are you?"

"Why do you think-"

"Because he makes me feel uncomfortable, all the time." she shrugs. "If I left every time he did that...I'd be long gone."

"No." he smiles, settling his hand against her waist. "I'm not going to ditch you, just because my brother is being a dick again."

"Again?" she nearly laughs. "It's a constant thing, Stefan, even I know that. And, thank you for not ditching me."

Stefan leans in a little closer, pressing his hips up against hers. She settles her hands slowly against his back, slowing down her movements significantly.

"Is something wrong?" he whispers in her ear.

"Why would you think that?"

"You're not smiling anymore.

"I'm just thinking about what exit will get me out of here quickest." she admits.

He pulls back slightly so he can look at her. "What, now you're ditching me?"

"I'm not ditching. I'm just.."

"What?"

Her eyes open slowly. "I don't really fit in here, Stefan."

"Don't say that."

"I was just thinking..." her eyes shut tightly.

"About what?"

"About how she got stuck with a dance partner as awful as you." Damon says suddenly.

The two break apart, turning slowly to face Damon who stands with a slight frown on his face. He glances briefly between the two, before sighing.

"Okay, I read your mind." his hands fly up in the air. "If you want it so bad, I'll dance with you."

An immediate frown sweeps over her face.

"I wasn't asking."

Damon shrugs a little. "You didn't have to."

"Damon." Stefan says quietly.

"Go get a drink, brother. You could use one."

Stefan glances back to Johanna. "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"See? She's fine. Go get a drink, Stefan."

Damon takes her by the hand, dragging her out to the floor a little. He glances briefly up at Stefan, who is slowly making his way to the table filled with drinks, before he looks down and finds a pair of soft, deep brown eyes watching him.

"Don't look so shocked, I can dance." he snaps.

Johanna doesn't give him an answer.

"What, are you suddenly a mute?"

"No." Johanna finally answers. "What are you doing, Damon?"

She sounds tired.

The song fades and changes to a slightly slower one.

Damon places one hand around her back, purposely placing it against her back. His right hand continues to hold hers, their fingers slowly intertwining.

"I'm showing you how to dance." he pulls her in closer.

Johanna looks up slowly, her eyes still set on him.

"I don't need you to show me anything." she says slowly.

Damon lifts a disbelieving eyebrow, while his thumb traces a small pattern against her bare skin. He does this without thinking, and falters when he feels a thick scar run beneath his fingers.

"That's not entirely true now, is it?" Damon finally asks.

Johanna keeps her cool. "What are you talking about?"

She sets her hand against his back, moving in a little closer until they are pressed against each other.

"You need me to show you how to hunt vampires, otherwise you wouldn't be at the lake house." Damon whispers in her ear. "And, apparently, I need to show you how to have a good time."

"Trust me when I say, I don't need you to show me how to have a good time. I was having a good time before you showed up."

"Really?" Damon smiles a crooked smile. "Then why did you spent the fifteen minutes, before my brother showed up, alone?"

"I was having a drink."

"If I recall, you had several in the space of a few minutes. Classy."

"Oh." Johanna pulls back a little. "Really, Damon? Sex in the bathroom is classy too, I'm guessing?"

He stares down at her. "Jealous?"

"No."

"Hmm." Damon mumbles quietly.

Their bodies continue to sway a little slowly to the music, while they remain momentarily oblivious to those around them.

"What?"

Icy blue eyes continue to rest on her.

"Why do you care who I have sex with, and if I do it in a bathroom?"

"I don't care." she looks back up at him.

"Oh, I think you do."

"I think you're wrong."

"I don't think so. Just like I'm not wrong when I say.." he presses his hips flat against hers. "That _that_ is a stake strapped to your thigh. Isn't it, Johanna?"

"Hm." Johanna almost smiles. ""Looks like you got that wrong too. You're just failing-"

Damon pulls her much closer, so there's no distance between their bodies anymore.

"So, you and I, we're back to this? Are we? I suppose angst is better than being ignored."

"I wasn't ignoring-"

"Avoiding." he eventually locks his eyes with hers. "Same thing."

"No, Damon, I wasn't doing that either."

"I think you were."

More silence falls in the air between them.

Damon sighs loudly, shifting a little uncomfortably.

"Look, Johanna...About last night, I was a little drunk. You, out of everyone here, know what that's like the best...Right? You have the most experience?"

"Damon." her expression shifts, and she breaks away from him.

He expects her to snap, or shout, but instead she forces a smile and remains pleasant.

"Thank you for the dance."

With that, Johanna turns away and begins moving outside. She pauses when she catches sight of Stefan, walking quickly to his side. He looks up at her and knows that Damon has done, or said, something to make her fall into this mood.

"Can we get some air? I just need..Some air."

"Sure," Stefan smiles. "We can do that."

Stefan follows after her, while she leads the way out on the balcony. It's still crowded but where they had previously sat, for hours, is still empty. She walks down to the edge of the balcony, turning to face Stefan slowly.

"You okay?" he asks quietly. "Did Damon do something?"

"Yes, no. I don't know.. I'm fine, it's just I know that I don't fit in back there." Johanna breathes out loudly, brushing her hair back off her face. "But you do, Stefan, even if you feel like you don't. I'm sorry for dragging you out here. You should...You should go back inside, see your friends, and stop sulking."

"Hey." he smiles, frowning slightly. "I'm not sulking."

"I'm just calling it how I see it. Just like...I know there's something going on, with you and Elena.. I don't know, it's really confusing I don't really want to get in the middle of that. Look, all I'm trying to say is - and feel free to tell me to shut up if I'm stepping over some sort of line, but if it's love then it's worth the fight. If you still feel it, and if it was real, then you have to fight for it. Stefan, you have to fight for her even if it's difficult and it gets you nowhere because it could lead to something.."

"You paint pictures with your words." Stefan answers quietly.

"So I have been told, many times." she smiles. "What I'm saying is, if it is real love hold on. Cling to it with everything you have, because if it's real enough and strong enough...One day it'll come back to you. You'll wake up and find it there, and all of this distance and the pain will feel like a memory. It'll all feel like another life."

"I really hope so." Stefan sighs, ducking his head slightly. "You know, Johanna...You remind me of someone."

"Who?"

"A friend." he smiles painfully.

"Ric?"

"Yes, a little but that wasn't who I was talking about. Her name was Lexi. She was my best friend. She was wise and smart, like you are, and she always gave good advice to me. Lexi said it like it was, just like you do. I think you'd like her, and she'd definitely like you."

"What happened to her?"

"She died."

"I'm so sorry." she rubs his shoulder sympathetically. "She sounds lovely. I'm sorry for asking."

"Don't be." Stefan breathes out. "Thank you, for tonight. It was surprisingly good, thanks to you."

She smiles, dropping her hands to her side. "Thank you, Stefan, for having the patience to show me your incredible dance skills."

"Anytime." he smiles back. "Good night, Johanna."

"Night, Stefan."

She turns away rigidly, moving silently down the hallway. Before leaving, she quickly moves to the bathroom and finds it empty. A million thoughts rush through her mind as she closes the door. Sometimes, even if the love is true, there's nothing that you can do to save it.

Damon appears unannounced on the balcony seconds after Johanna has departed, finding Stefan pouring himself yet another drink.

"Sex on the balcony, in public, huh?" Damon folds his arms over his chest. "Even I haven't done that, and that's saying something."

Stefan turns around quickly. "No, Damon, we didn't do that. Nothing happened."

"Didn't seem like that, the way you were dancing. All cozy and touchy-feely."

"What is your problem?" Stefan frowns immediately. "We're just friends."

"Mm." Damon looks disbelieving. "You seem like really good friends."

"Why do you care anyway?"

"I don't care."

"Sex in the bathroom, huh?" Stefan cocks his head to the right. "And don't tell me nothing happened."

"Nothing happened," Damon retorts quickly.

"But it almost did, didn't it?" Stefan inches closer. "You and Elena-"

"Nothing happened." Damon says slowly. "Do I have to speak slower, Stefan? Or repeat myself? Nothing happened. As little as you think of me, nothing happened. We kissed, she almost took my shirt off but then we stopped. It meant-"

"Something." Stefan says, "Come on, Damon. Don't pretend that it didn't mean something to you, and don't pretend that you didn't want it and that you didn't want Elena. I'm tired of all of this pretending and lying. Just be honest with me."

Damon rolls his eyes.

"And I'm tired of-"

"Of what?" he cuts across. "What are you tired of, Damon?"

"Of being seen as the bad guy, constantly, when I-"

"Come on, Damon." Stefan shakes his head. "You play the role exceptionally well. It's the only role that you played for centuries. How can you be seen as anything else when you keep falling back into it?"

Damon bites his tongue for a moment, until he's a little calmer.

"Until we know, until Elena takes the cure, I won't act. We won't..." Damon murmurs.

"You don't want to take advantage of her, right? Because that is what you'd be doing, if you slept with her while she was sired to you." Stefan pushes.

"Drop the sire bond crap, Stefan." he nearly growls.

"Why?" Stefan inches closer, his gaze locking tightly with Damon's. "Because it's the truth, and it hurts? Because you know if you pursue this with Elena, and the sire bond breaks, you're going to hurt her because she doesn't really want it."

"Stay away from my hunter," Damon says coldly. "I don't need her forming any unnecessary attachments, I need her to do her job. Do yours, and keep an eye on Elena while I'm not here."

* * *

Johanna's attempts to weave through the crowd unnoticed fail.

Matt, who had been standing beside a group of unfamiliar faces, spots her, grins, and walks speedily towards her after excusing himself from the group.

"Where do you think you're going, before the cake's been cut?" he smirks.

She half smiles. "To get some air."

"Wait, hang on." Matt breathes in deeply, "The last time I checked, there's still air in here."

Her smile becomes fuller, and she smacks him playfully on the shoulder.

"You know what I meant."

"Hey, guys, time for a photograph." April approaches the two of them. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm April Young."

"It's nice to finally meet you." Johanna shakes her outstretched hand. "But I was just about to-"

"Take a photo with the birthday boy, right? Jeremy, get over here!" April grins widely. "Come on!"

Jeremy walks towards them quickly, a smile on his face. "How you guys doing? You enjoying the party?"

"You bet we are." Matt grins. "It's awesome, man."

Matt leans back slightly, and pauses before stretching out his left hand and smacking Johanna on the butt. She spins around to the left, finding a wide eyed, confused, Jeremy staring back at her. She immediately assumes it was him. His mouth hangs open, like he can't find the words to tell her it wasn't him. In seconds she looks really pissed off, and Jeremy can't find the right words.

"Whoa, man, what the hell are you doing?" Matt says loudly, using all the strength he has to fight the grin that threatens to spread over his face. "Jeremy, didn't you hear what Jo said before? The next person who smacked her was gonna get a punch in the face? Didn't you hear her?"

Jeremy's eyes dart between Jeremy, Johanna and April. He settles them on Johanna and tries to defend himself.

"Uhh...Yeah, that wasn't...I..."

For a moment her eyes are darkened and settled on him.

"Jeremy..." she starts off seriously, soon breaking into a grin. "I can't believe you'd think I wouldn't know it was you!"

Suddenly, she turns to Matt and hits him in the shoulder harshly.

"Oww." Matt grips his shoulder. "Seriously! What is with you hitting me?"

"You're such a jerk!" she smiles.

"You are." Jeremy leans in, grinning still. "You really are! She nearly punched me in the face."

Matt erupts into a loud, contagious laugh that he can't fight. Johanna can't fight the smile that spreads on her face, and she hits him in the shoulder again.

"Man," Matt grins widely. "You should have seen your faces. Priceless. I thought you were gonna punch him...Oh, I would do that again, just to see your faces."

"You're such a jerk." she glares at him still.

Matt continues to laugh loudly, while April still tries to get them into a photograph together.

"Alright, come on, guys.. Just squeeze in together." April instructs, stepping back with her camera in her hands. "Johanna, right?"

"Yeah." Johanna nods, still smiling.

"Get in the middle of these two." April orders, still smiling kindly.

Jeremy laughs a little. "Hey, who made you photograph Queen?"

"I made myself it, when you guys were getting too drunk to care. You'll want to remember this night for the rest of your lives, so I'm trying to help you do that." April smiles back. "Now, go on. Squish in between these two."

Johanna slides in between the two, placing her hand around their waists. Matt slings his arm around her shoulder, and Jeremy settles his hand around her waist.

"This is cosy." Matt mumbles.

"Touch my ass again, Matt-" she begins.

"Yeah, yeah." he grins. "You know, I can't help when it looks so good."

His words cause Johanna to laugh a little, and his grin widens at the sight. He's trying to rile her up, to make her laugh, and he does.

"I'm gonna punch you really hard when this photo is taken." she continues to smile. "Right in the face."

The smile resting on Matt's face remains. "I can't wait."

Johanna smile falls as she glances up and sees an angered looking blonde, that she recognises as Caroline, rushing in their direction with her arms flailing around in the air like something terrible has happened, or is about to.

"Okay, on the count of three say cheese-" April begins.

"Wait!" Caroline shouts out.

April lowers the camera, turning to face her.

Elena and Bonnie trail after Caroline, a slightly confused expression resting on both of their faces.

"April, you should get Elena in the photograph. After all, _she_ is Jeremy's sister." Caroline says, glancing up at the group.

And it feels like those were the exact words she wanted to use, like she wanted to remind Johanna that she wasn't Jeremy's sister and that she didn't belong in the photograph. Caroline skims her eyes over the three of them standing with their arms wrapped around each other, before she struts forward.

"No, no, this is all wrong." Caroline sighs loudly. "This is all so very wrong!"

Matt and Jeremy share a silent exchange, an understanding, in which they both have an idea of what exactly is going on. Caroline feels threatened, because Johanna is a hunter and they haven't had good experiences with hunters in the past.

Caroline pulls Jeremy's arm away from Johanna's waist, and then drags Elena forward to stand next to Jeremy. Then she smiles widely, like she's proud with what she's done and the distance that she's created between Johanna and Jeremy. She doesn't spare Johanna a glance, and instead turns back to Bonnie.

Matt's eyes settle down on Johanna, and he finds that she's staring uncomfortably at a spot on the floor. He feels a guilt rising inside of him, as well as a need to protect her and make her happy.

"There. Much better, now Bonnie get in here between Matt-" Caroline begins.

"Nah, I'm good here." Matt smiles. "You and Bonnie should stand down the other end."

"Okay, cool." Bonnie smiles, and agrees. "Whatever."

Johanna could swear that Caroline shoots her a glare as she walks reluctantly down towards the other end. They take their place next to Jeremy, and the photograph is ready to be taken.

"Hey." Matt begins to whisper against her ear. "About what just happened..""

"Okay, I'm ready to take the photo!" April beams. "You guys look so great."

"It's okay." Johanna answers, avoiding his intent gaze on purpose.

She looks up, past April, to find a familiar pair of icy blue eyes watching her but this time the eyes aren't as cold or as icy. They stay on her, and she feels slightly uncomfortable beneath them, like he can see right through her.

"On the count of three, say cheese!" April calls out. "One."

Matt shifts in his stance as he puts his arm around Johanna, slinging it over her shoulder. She puts her right hand on his back as the second count is called.

"Two." April smiles.

On the count of three Matt moves.

Instead of placing his single arm around her, like everyone else was doing in the photo, he does something different, something he wants to do. Something more meaningful. Matt pulls Johanna into his chest, wraps his arms around her and presses a kiss to the top of her. Her smile widens with surprise as April calls out three, and they all say cheese.

Once the photo has been taken, Johanna glances up at Matt and smiles thankfully.

"What was that? Are you trying to suck up for being such a drunk jerk?"

"Nah, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing..." he grins back widely. "And I don't really want that punch in the face."

The group pulls apart once the photograph has been taken, and after making his way past Caroline and Elena, Jeremy smiles and thanks April for taking the photo.

Jeremy turns to Johanna. "Now, it's our turn."

A flicker of a frown darts over her face. "What? Our turn for what?"

Jeremy smiles and pulls out his phone.

"Come on, Jo." his smile widens. "You really think I'd let you off without getting a photo with me, on my birthday?"

"We just-"

"Come on."

Without a word of warning, he drags her forward and wraps his arms around her tightly. Squeezing her tightly. She laughs and squeezes him back equally as hard, while he turns his phone around and takes a photo. On the second shot, Matt dives into the background and nearly knocks them over by half climbing on their backs.

"Thank you for coming." Jeremy smiles.

He leans in and presses a kiss to Johanna's cheek. "I appreciate it. A lot."

Johanna returns the smile.

"Thanks for inviting me. Now, go and enjoy your party!"

"Joanne, right?" Caroline asks pleasantly, stepping towards her.

"Johanna."

"Right." Caroline smiles. "Can we have a word? I'd love to know where you got that dress from, and those shoes. They're gorgeous!"

Johanna walks slowly, cautiously, as Caroline leads her away from the group and towards the front door. She spins around and faces Johanna with a serious, flat expression.

"I don't know where I got the shoes-" Johanna begins.

"Look, I don't know what you're here for or why but you need to stay away from my friends." Caroline says suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

Caroline speaks slowly, just in case she doesn't understand. "They are my friends, not yours. You're a vampire hunter, who is trying to make friends with vampires. I don't buy that, and I don't trust you around my friends."

"What?"

"Whatever this is," she gestures towards her. "I don't buy it. I don't buy this act."

Johanna nearly smiles. "Oh, okay. So, it's just like how I don't buy yours?"

"My-"

"Vampire pretending to be a human act" Johanna's smile widens. "Yeah, apparently my ability to distinguish who and what someone really is has stepped up a notch."

"What do you want with us?" Caroline asks.

"With you? Nothing."

"Stay away from Matt and Jeremy, they're good people." she says quietly.

"You see, that might be a problem since we're kind of sharing a house."

"Just keep your distance." Caroline smiles again.

"What is your problem?"

"You. I don't like people like you, who try and hurt my friends." Caroline snaps back, but her smile remains intact. "I saw you trying to leave early, without being noticed. So go on and leave now, hunter. You won't be noticed, and the door's right there."

Caroline spins around and moves away, looking up slowly to find Matt watching her with a look of disbelief on his face.

"What's wrong, Matt?" she asks softly.

"What was that?" he inches closer. "With Johanna."

"We were just talking-"

"I heard you." his frown deepens. "Why would you tell her to leave? Or speak to her like that?"

"Matt." Caroline sighs. "She's a hunter-"

"Yeah, she is but she's my friend. Jeremy's a hunter, and he's still your friend."

"Look, call it intuition but I don't trust her." Caroline crosses her arms.

"Call it intuition, but I do."

"Matt, I'm just looking out for my friends. I'm looking out for you."

"Friends?" Matt shakes his head sadly. "We're not how we were before. We aren't friends like we were."

"Yeah, we are. We-"

"Do you know what real friends do, Caroline? They look after you. Friends take care of you, and they're there for you, and that's what Jo does for me and Jeremy. You and I...I can't remember the last time we sat down and talked. Or the last time you came around and checked in on us at the house."

"I've been busy-"

"Busy with what, Caroline?" Matt's voice becomes quieter. "Prom, parties, and Klaus? You have no idea what's been going on in my life, or Jeremy's, so that gives you no right to push away someone who does. You're not the girl I remember, you've changed and the way you spoke to her wasn't fair."

"She's dangerous. Don't you get it? I'm looking out for you, and I'm sorry I haven't been there." Caroline answers quickly.

Matt shakes his head sadly. "I don't really want to hear that right now. You don't know her like I do. Johanna isn't your friend, so that gives you no right to take her away from the people who need her. I need her. She gets me, and she gets Jer and what's going on so...If you can't be nice to her, then just leave her alone."

Johanna makes her way out of the door without another glance behind her. She steps through the door, releasing a loud sigh as the cold air sweeps her skin. She draws in a cold, fresh breath of air that hits her lungs harshly but she enjoys the feeling. It calms her.

Her eyes skim the ground in front of her, light up by various lights, until she remembers where it was she parked her car.

She takes several steps down the stairs, and towards the grassy land, before she hears a voice that causes her to stop.

"Dining and dashing? I guess first impressions are right, you seemed like _that_ kind of girl."

She halts and shuts her eyes, before slowly turning towards Damon to find his eyes settled on her and an empty expression on his face.

"I'm not dashing, Damon."

"You're just bailing." he cuts over her. "Because of what happened in there."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I think you do. You know really well." Damon takes a step closer. "That thing that went down with Caroline? Whatever that was, don't worry about it. She just sees you as a threat to herself, and the people that she cares about."

"Really, Damon, you don't need to defend her. I don't care." she snaps back.

He shakes his head slightly. "I think you do."

"Then you'd be wrong again."

Damon pauses. "I also think you held your own against her pretty well, but now you're bailing because she said so-"

"I wanted an early night," she answers, "For training."

Damon doesn't believe her words, her claim, this much is clear from the expression which soon spreads across his face. He takes slow steps towards her, almost on purpose, like he's trying to draw this out.

"You've had too much whiskey to drive."

A frown threatens to spread across her face.

"No, I haven't."

He scoffs loudly. "I can smell it from here!"

"That proves nothing." she snaps back. "I'm-"

"I know, I know. Perfectly capable, and so on...I've heard that before, several times I think." Damon sighs, inching closer.

"What do you want?" she crosses her arms. "And why do you care about how much I've had to drink?"

"I don't."

"Goodnight, Damon."

Johanna turns around quickly, and as she does she comes face to face with someone familiar, someone she now remembers bumping into inside the party, someone she remembers sharing previous conversations with.

He stands before her in a pale white shirt, a long black trench coat, and brown pants.

"Cedric?" she calls out.

"I'm sorry, who is this?" Damon frowns.

Cedric looks briefly between the two of them.

"You're not moving fast enough." he says simply.

A deeper frown sets in on Damon's face.

"What?"

"Klaus sends his regards." he says, before his face shifts.

His eyes turn yellow, and his teeth grow longer and sharper. A hybrid. Damon recognises it immediately, but he isn't fast enough, he doesn't react quick enough or move out of Cedric's path.

The hybrid lunges at him, biting down and tearing into the skin on the right side of his neck with his sharp teeth. Once he has finished, he shoves Damon's body down towards and lands on top of him. For a moment they struggle, Damon is bit several times, before Cedric quickly stands.

Blood trails heavily down his mouth and runs down his chin as he backs away from Damon.

"All is fair in war, and don't be mistaken in believing that this isn't a war."

Cedric moves speedily away, leaving Johanna with a choice: to chase after him, and ask what he is doing with Klaus, or to remain Damon's side.

She doesn't even have to think about it.

Johanna chooses Damon.

* * *

**A/N: Hi! :)**

**Here's another, quicker update. This is the second part to Jeremy's birthday party, and I hope you like it. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my story, follow it or place it as a favourite. I appreciate it a lot. Also, I apologise for any spelling errors that I may have missed - if you find any please let me know.**

**S****o, this chapter had a fair bit of bonding (Team Human, Johanna&Stefan and even a little Jamon) and I hope you enjoy it. It ended on a tenser sort of note, with Damon being infected with the hybrid bite...Hmm. I wonder how he'll get the cure? Or if he'll get it? Why would Klaus want Damon out of the way? You'll find out very soon.**

**A very big, special thanks to the very kind and awesome people that left reviews of chapter 22: Sabine Christensen, ****Draegan88, Alison Borgia, Alsynea and SophStratt :)**

**As always, if there's anything at all that you'd ever like to read in this story please feel free to leave it in a review or send me a PM :) I'd love to hear it, and would try my best to add it to the story.**

**Guest review:**

**Julia 9/23/13 . chapter 22: **Wow, thank you so much, Julia! I'm seriously so happy to read that with each chapter your fascination for the story grows :3 thank you so much. Your reviews are always so kind, and they make me smile a lot when I read them. I'm really happy that you loved this new chapter, and I hope you'll enjoy this next one. :) Thank you, again, for reading my story and taking the time to read it. x

**Thanks again & enjoy!**

**X**


	24. Sticks and stones

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

**Soundtrack: Daughter - Still,**** Joshua Radin - The Winter, Birdy - The District Sleeps Alone.**

* * *

_It's really messing with my mind._

Johanna's eyes briefly skim over the land where Cedric previously stood, before she quickly turns back to face Damon. When she settles her eyes upon him she finds that he is bent over on the ground, watching her already. His hand is pressed to his neck, and blood runs heavily over his fingers.

She finds a new emotion struck across his features and circling his light eyes; pain.

He knows all too well the pain that will come from the bite if he doesn't receive the cure in time. Much to Damon's surprise, Johanna kneels down beside him and attempts to inspect the wound. He fights her at first, but eventually gives in and allows her to lean in and take a closer look.

She looks up slowly.

"Don't you have accelerated healing?"

Damon closes his eyes.

"Yes. But it doesn't work with this kind of...Wound."

"And what is this, exactly? A bite?"

He doesn't give her an answer, and instead opens his eyes and looks back up at her.

"I changed my mind." he says. "You haven't had that much whiskey. You can drive."

Confusion crosses her face." To where?"

"The lake house. Now."

She moves to help Damon up, but he shoves her hand away.

"I got it." he snaps.

Johanna steps back and allows Damon to stand on his own, and instead of waiting for him she makes her own way towards the car leaving him to trail silently after her. Once she has reached the car, she opens the passenger door for him and then moves towards the driver's side.

"You're sure-"

"Yes," he cuts across her. "To the lake house, now."

Instead of asking more questions she starts up the car and pulls it out on to the road, turning it in the direction of the lake house. She casts a look sideways and finds Damon has pulled out his cellphone, and is currently in the process of calling someone. Silence follows and only lasts until the caller picks up.

"What the hell was that for?" Damon immediately asks.

"I want the cure, Damon." Klaus answers. "You haven't been moving fast enough. I'm speeding up the process."

"I don't understand," Damon sighs. "I don't know if being a hybrid has somehow effected your decision making...Why did you get-"

"Your usefulness has expired, Damon." Klaus answers simply.

Damon frowns. "What, so you think you're just going to step in and train these new hunters?"

"Yes." Klaus says pleasantly. "Or I'll continue to kill, or maim, the people they care about."

"See..." Damon sighs heavily. "You're kind of screwed with that approach. You won't kill Elena because you need her, and you won't kill Stefan because you were best buddies at one point. And with your other hunter, she's got no one you can hurt."

"As I said, Damon, your usefulness has expired."

Klaus ends the phone call at that, causing Damon to curse and fight the urge to throw his phone out the window. He places his phone down and rests his head back, shutting his eyes and exhaling heavily as he does. The silence doesn't last long.

"Why aren't you healing?"

Her voice calls to him through the darkness.

"Because he was a hybrid."

"Who, Cedric?"

"How do you know him?" Damon opens his eyes.

"I ran into him, once or twice." she answers.

He pauses noticeably. "Yeah, well, he's working with Klaus. He's one of Klaus' hybrids , which is pretty messed up considering he killed all of his hybrids..."

"A werewolf's bite is deadly to a vampire?"

"Apparently." Damon answers. "Don't look too happy."

Her frown deepens.

"I'm not happy, Damon."

"You sure? I'm just expecting you to break out into a smile at any moment."

She shakes her head. "I won't be. Is there a cure? An antidote?"

He gives her silence.

"Is there?" she pushes.

Damon releases a deep sigh. "Yes but it's complicated to say the least.."

"What is it?"

"Damon." she says sternly, when he fails to answer.

"Turn the car around."

She stops the car and glances at him.

"Turn the car around and drive." he instructs.

She does as he asks, and turns the car around. He speaks to her only once more when he tells her the directions to take, and she follows them without objecting. Minutes later when they arrive outside of a large house he turns to her and finally speaks again.

"Wait in the car."

Her lips part like she might object.

"You don't get a say in this," he snaps. "Stay in the car, lock the doors. Only open them for me."

She nods once.

"If it doesn't look like I'm coming back, leave. Okay?"

"Okay."

Damon casts one last look over her before he slides out of the car and slams the door shut. He turns to her and motions for her to lock the doors, so she does. She catches a glimpse of his light eyes once more before he turns his back on her and disappears inside the house.

The fireplace burns brightly and steadily when Damon enters the room. He finds Klaus resting by it, a smile already on his face as he turns to face Damon.

"What a pleasant surprise."

"Cut the crap, Klaus. What do you want?" Damon snaps back.

Klaus remains cool and casual. "The cure for immortality. You want the cure so your immorality isn't taken from you, don't you? What a situation we find ourselves in, Damon."

"What do-"

"I want nothing from you, Damon, so please don't take this personally." Klaus sighs slightly. "You've been amusing to keep around as company, and on the odd occasion you have turned out to be useful, but you've also been incredibly difficult and I'm tired of the difficulties in this life."

Disbelief shadows Damon's face as he understands what this is about.

"Wait. You're killing me, because the marks aren't long enough?"

"You do remember your past experience with a werewolf bite, don't you, Damon?" Klaus moves closer, his voice remaining impassive. "It took almost a week before the symptoms grew unbearable, and you almost died, yes? You have that long to complete the hunters mark. If you fail, you'll die. It's as simple as that."

A manic look spreads over Damon's face and almost takes over him.

"What makes you think that I won't just pin you against that wall and bite into you, right now? I'll get the cure, then."

"I'll set my hybrid loose, let him have some fun with the vampire population in this town." Klaus smiles still. "Maybe, I'll even let him have fun with your hunter waiting outside in your car."

"Why are you in such a rush? The cure isn't going anywhere."

"You have less than a week, Damon." Klaus answers, turning his back to him. "If I were you, I'd get moving."

Johanna only waits several short minutes in silence before she looks up to find Damon moving towards the car at a speedy pace. She leans over and unlocks his door, pressing it open and calling out to him seconds later.

"How did it go?"

In seconds, Damon is inside the car and the doors are shut and locked again.

"Fine," he answers. "Drive."

She doesn't move.

"Did you get the cure?" she turns to him.

Damon catches what he believes might be a flicker of concern, but he quickly shoves that thought away and doubts that she could ever be concerned for him.

He lies to her because it's all that he can do in this situation. This is his problem, not hers and definitely not Elena's. He believes this is his problem to fix on his own, and he certainly doesn't need to place this burden, this weight, on to the shoulders of anyone else.

"Yes." Damon lies. "Unfortunately, I won't be dying any time soon."

She starts up the car.

"Okay."

He frowns. "What do you mean, 'okay'?"

"I mean, okay." she quietly answers. "Good."

Only when the car has started driving, and her eyes are firmly settled on the road and only the road, does he look up at her. Damon's eyes briefly flicker over her before he closes his eyes once more, exhales heavily, and allows his thoughts to take over his mind completely.

One week; that's all the time that he has to get the hunters mark completed.

When they return to the lake house Damon waits for her to lock up the car, and once she has they move inside together.

He shuts the door once she is inside and locks it, knowing that neither Matt or Jeremy will be coming home tonight. Damon steps towards the living room swiftly, reaching for the bottle of whiskey he pulls off the cap and downs a large mouthful.

Johanna steps towards the kitchen bench, she reaches for the sink and turns on the tap so she can wash away Damon's blood from her hands. Once the water runs, she sticks her hands underneath it and begins to scrub at her skin, to scrub away the crimson stains. The blood fades away quickly, in seconds, but she can still see fragments. She can still feel it against her skin.

Damon pauses before he takes a seat, turning around slowly to look at Johanna. He finds her in the kitchen scrubbing and washing continuously and harshly at her hands.

"Johanna?"

She doesn't seem to hear him, and instead continues to wash her hands under the running water.

"Crap." Damon mutters.

His initial thoughts are that she's still being hunted by the hunter's curse. Damon moves speedily to her side, and appears beside her in seconds. She doesn't take any notice of his presence beside her. His voice is louder when he speaks again.

"Johanna."

Johanna continues washing at her hands until the skin is raw and red, and even then she proceeds to wash them like the blood is still there, like it's never going anywhere, like if she uses enough strength and enough force then it'll go away and never return to her.

She's tired of the blood being everywhere.

Damon watches her pensively, with clouded and deep eyes, before he settles a hand against her shoulder. Her skin is cold, and as he inspects it closer he sees various scars marking the skin, scars he took no notice of early because he didn't pay enough attention.

He should have paid more attention to her.

"Johanna." his voice is quieter, calmer even.

He expects her to flinch or recoil from his touch, but she doesn't, she doesn't acknowledge it. Damon releases a sigh before he reaches into the sink, the cool water splashing against his hands as he does. He takes both of her hands with his right hand and pulls them away from the water, then he turns the tap off and guides her away from the sink, leads her towards him.

She returns to him. It takes her a second but when she returns, when she comes back to him, her eyes flutter down to her hands and then look with her eyes. Confusion covers her face and fills her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"You wouldn't stop..."

Damon's eyes move down towards her hands; in sections the skin has been scrubbed so hard it has begun to bleed as a result of it. He doesn't know what it is exactly that comes over him at this sight, but he has certainly never felt it before.

He releases a deeply held sigh and lifts his eyes up to her, he catches the shame as it sweeps over her face and he means to tell her she has no reason to be ashamed, but the words never form.

He holds her hands longer than he intended to. She realizes this first and breaks her hands away from his, gently pulling them out of his grip she lowers them to her side and drops her eyes to the floor.

"You want a drink?" Damon steps back towards the whiskey.

"No, thanks."

She looks up slowly, to find him seated in an armchair in the living room.

"I'm just..." she sighs. "I'm going to call it a night, I think."

Damon shrugs like he couldn't care less, but on the inside he does care.

"Your call."

She turns towards the door rigidly, before she pauses and casts a glance back to him.

"Goodnight, Johanna." he calls out, without even looking at her.

"Okay." Johanna says quietly, taking a step away. "Damon?"

"Yeah?" Damon's voice hitches.

More silence passes.

"I'm glad you're okay."

Johanna leaves him and moves upstairs quickly. He hears her moving towards the bedroom, closing the door and locking it. Then he hears her tearing off her clothes, throwing her heels, and running the water in the shower for several long minutes. Once the water has finally stopped, he hears her move around for a few moments before the lights go out.

Damon shuts his eyes and exhales shakily, his short-lived moment of silence is suddenly broken by the noise coming from his phone. He pulls it out of his pocket and finds that Elena is calling. He hesitates before he answers it.

"Where are you, Damon?" she asks. "I was worried, I've called you like seven times."

"Johanna got _really_ drunk," he lies, because it's the easiest way to deal with this.

Damon can't tell Elena that he has a week to finish an entire Hunter's mark, because he doubts that it can be done. It has taken _so_ long for Johanna's mark to reach the small length that it has, it will take far longer than a week to complete it entirely.

"I had to drive her back to the lake house. Sorry, I must have lost the signal." he adds.

She sighs with relief.

"It's okay, I just wanted to make sure you were both okay."

"Well, we are." he answers.

"Jeremy and Matt are staying here tonight." Elena answers. "Are you going to come back over?"

"She's still vomiting upstairs," he lies, again. "So, I'll probably stick around for a bit just to make sure she doesn't drink anymore."

"Okay." Elena agrees. "Good idea. Tell Johanna I hope she feels better...Goodnight, Damon."

"Goodnight, Elena." Damon sighs, before the line cuts out.

He swallows another, longer mouthful of whiskey before he sighs heavily and looks down upon the wound on his neck. He shuts his eyes and tries to find a way out of this but he knows that he is trapped, locked in, and they don't have enough time. He doesn't want to head down this road again; the long and winding road filled with pain and blood, hallucinations and hauntings, but he knows that this is it.

Damon escaped it the first time when he deserved it for all of the inescapably horrible things that he has done, all the lives he has taken and shattered, and all that he has ruined. He is deserving of all that is to come, for he should never have escaped it the first time death tried to take him.

This is his punishment, and he is resigned to the fact that this is his inevitable end. There is no need to fight because if this doesn't destroy him then he will inevitably destroy himself.

* * *

The sun rises the same, shines the same, and radiates the same warm light but on this particular morning it feels different. Damon had observed its rise, viewed its inevitable fall, and looked upon it countless times in the past years of his long existence but on this morning his eyes find details previously missed. Colors never truly appreciated, light never basked in, and a warmth never really felt.

He takes his time feeling the soft light settling against his skin, and finds that it provides him with a small fragment of peace, even if only for a moment, even if he knows in his heart he is undeserving of this peace.

Damon rests silently against the railings down by the lake, his hands resting by his side and his eyes settled softly on the sun. A sudden, sharp twinge of pain in the right side of his neck causes his face to contort and shift with pain. He pulls down the collar of his shirt, glancing down briefly at the wound. He finds it difficult to believe that five days have passed, and the effects were already draining him and causing him pain.

In the past days he hadn't pushed either of his hunters to kill because he knew it was pointless. The only possible way that they could both finish their marks in a week would be by killing hundreds of vampires, and that would mean turning hundreds of humans and killing them. It would be a bloody massacre that neither of them could move past.

He wanted to exist eternally, to live out his immortal life, but he wasn't willing to wipe out hundreds of vampires so quickly to do so. Despite their skill and speed, Damon doubted that they were emotionally ready to kill the number of vampires required to complete the mark in a few short days. He didn't want to place that burden on them.

Damon had spent some time thinking about what was to come, and soon had formed a solid plan which he would share with Stefan near the end when the infection had begun to claim his body and mind. The plan was for Stefan to take over training, because Klaus wouldn't harm him. Elena would have to leave town, and for their own safety Bonnie, Caroline and Matt would have to go with her. This was the only way to guarantee their safety.

Until the end came, Damon planned to pretend that he wasn't ill and that everything was going as expected.

A voice breaks through his thoughts, and he's glad to hear it.

"What are you doing down here?" Johanna quietly asks.

He doesn't turn to face her, because in seconds she has joined his side and is now standing closely beside him. She crosses her arms and looks up at him, waiting expectantly.

"We have training."

Damon frowns, sparing her a glance.

"Go find Matt."

"Matt isn't here, he's working, and Jeremy's in town."

He rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed by their inability to stick to a schedule.

"Fine, go for a run."

His annoyance grows when she doesn't move an inch.

"Go fun a run."

"I already have, five times."

Damon's head snaps towards her. "Go run another five laps, then."

He turns back to the water, his eyes settling comfortably on it.

"Do you really hate the water _that_ much?"

"We don't hate it that much, but we don't particularly like getting wet - especially when it's any icy swimming pool, and some idiot has jumped in."

"You said five laps, right?!" she breaks out into a light jog.

"Yes, five and then we'll spar."

"Okay!" she calls back.

And then she's gone, just like that.

Damon's eyes close again, and he exhales heavily before he turns around and slowly makes his way back inside. He glances up and catches sight of her running, and for a moment his eyes linger on her. He looks away, walking inside quickly he scoops up a bottle of whiskey and waits in silence, with a surprising patience, for her to return.

When she returns, Johanna finds him waiting down on the grass for her. He's resting up against a tree, his eyes already settled on her like he knew she was coming. He throws her a stake, and it comes spiralling in her direction so quickly that she just manages to catch it.

"Stake me."

She lunges at him and tries to take him, but he takes her down and tosses the stake to the side.

"Try harder." he instructs.

Johanna jumps up from the ground, picks up the stake and runs at him. She fails again, and watches as he throws the stake back at her. He releases a longer sigh, but doesn't snap.

"Try again."

He moves too quickly and she almost ends up staking the tree. The next time, she presses his chest up against the tree and puts the stake to his back. Damon tilts his head back, to look at her, feeling her hands settled against his back.

"If you fake it, they'll believe it and kill you." he says simply.

She drops the stake from his back and walks back.

"Okay."

"What, no objection?" he almost looks shocked.

"You're right."

Damon half smiles. "I've always been right."

"That's debatable." she smiles back.

"We're not here to debate things, though. Are we?"

She shakes her head.

"Now, we're on the same page again..Let's try this again."

Most of the morning, and early afternoon, is spent training and sparring. No bones are broken, and no serious damage is done, in the hand to hand combat which follows. Johanna eventually calls a break, and to her surprise he doesn't deny her this like he usually does.

Once she has finished lunch, alone inside, she cleans up and walks back outside to find more emptiness. Her voice echoes in the silence, she calls out to him several times, but after receiving no answer she decides to go for another run.

Johanna looks around her surroundings briefly, before breaking out into a fast run. Adrenaline pumps throughout her. It pushes her forward, drives her faster, and as hard as she tries she can't drag her attention away from Damon, and his notable absence.

She doesn't pay enough attention to her surroundings, and seconds later her ankle gets caught on the edge of a sharp rock and she stumbles forward.

Hitting the ground harshly, a deep groan passes her lips as she pulls herself up. Her right hand aches, because she landed awkwardly and harshly on it. Johanna curses loudly, pulling herself up from the dirt she sits up and tries to stretch her right hand but a shooting pain causes her to stop. She closes her eyes again, breathing out heavily before she opens them and looks down at her ankle. Cut open and bleeding.

"Shit." she mutters, leaning in closer to inspect it.

The skin is torn badly, and runs from the side of her ankle up her leg. It is raw, and painful, and bleeding heavily. She tries to wipe it away but it doesn't stop, and she curses again before standing up on an unsteady leg. Limping slightly towards the house, she eventually makes her way inside.

Johanna presses her back against the door of her bedroom, locking it slowly. She breathes out heavily, while she tries to focus on anything but the truth. The truth is unavoidable, and when she almost has herself convinced that she's alone in here, and that no one is coming from her, but the sound of footsteps in the hallway tell her otherwise.

Old habits die hard.

She crawls under the space beneath her bed. Ignoring the small size of it, and the dust, she shuts her eyes tightly. The image of Alaric beside her, holding her hand tightly and promising her they'll be okay, replays in her mind and she can't block it out. A loud knocking on the door startles her. Her heart jumps in her chest, and she shuts her eyes tighter.

_"Don't listen to it, just keep looking at me."_

Damon lingers outside her door, knowing he could easily knock it down but deciding otherwise because it should be her choice to let him in.

"Johanna..." he whispers.

His voice breaks through but she doesn't think it belongs to him. She thinks that it belongs to Alaric.

"I won't move." she whispers.

Damon turns back to the door, frowning slightly as he tries to find a way to respond to that.

"Is the hunter back?"

She doesn't answer him because she's not here right now, she's somewhere else. She's reliving a memory.

"_If you don't move, she won't find us." Alaric whispers quietly against her ear._

_She tries to crawl out from underneath the bed, but Alaric quickly grips both of her hands and pulls her into his chest. He lifts his arm over hers and covers her, holding her as tightly as he can._

"_Arthur is-" she stutters._

_Her entire body shakes underneath his with silent sobs._

"_Arthur knows what to do, and so do you. If we stay in here, and keep the door shut, she won't come in." he whispers._

"_What if she hurts him too? I can't leave him out there."_

"Johanna, it's Damon."

He breaks through her thoughts, causing her eyes to open. The reality of the situation settles in now. Her chest beats a little heavier in her chest, her forehead trickles with sweat and her palms are sweaty too. She pulls herself out from beneath the cramped bed, and sits on the edge of the mattress.

Damon knocks louder.

"What do you want?" she calls back.

"Finally!" he sighs. "Open it or I'll kick it down."

"I'm busy."

"Yeah, you sound it." he scoffs. "Open it."

After a moment of deep contemplation she stands and walks to the door. Unlocking it slowly, she steps back and watches as the door handle is twisted and Damon enters. He steps inside, an uncertain expression on his face.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"That's a lie." he frowns, looking at her properly.

Damon reaches down and grabs her wrist, pulling it closer to him. She winces and tries to break free of his hold, but he's significantly stronger than her. His fingers feel around her arm, and after a moment he sighs.

"Fractured." he says simply.

Johanna lifts her hand to her chest, rubbing it gently. "Wait..How do you even know that?"

"I just do, and your leg looks pretty banged up too. That's great, my only hunter trips over and hurts herself."

"How did you know I tripped over?"

"Just a guess. How else could you do this?"

She frowns a little. "Why does it matter? It's not like we're running out of time."

"Or, we could do the alternative." he answers. "But, I know that you don't want to risk it again. So, forget I offered and.."

"No." she shakes her head, moving as he does. "I was going to ask if it will heal.."

"Bones? Yes." Damon watches her warily. "Wait, I thought you'd be all.."

"Just give me the blood, Damon." she sharply answers. "But first.."

"What is it?"

She pauses for a moment, and he catches this.

"What?"

"I hate...The smell." she says quietly.

"Of blood?"

She nods, reluctantly meeting his gaze. "I just hate everything about it. The smell, the colour, and the feel of it against my skin.."

Damon considers this for a moment, and almost laughs.

"Lucky you're not a vampire, you'd make a terrible one."

Johanna shoots him a glare that goes right through him.

"Okay." he raises his hands in the air. "This is a wild thought, so correct me if I'm wrong, I'm guessing you hate the taste of blood too?"

Her silence gives him the answer.

"What do you want me to do? Put it in a cup? Blend it with something?" Damon frowns immensely. "Didn't you say, blood is blood and it doesn't matter what it's in?"

"That was different."

"How?" he walks a little closer. "How is it different? It's still blood. It's still _my_ blood."

"I was covered in blood then. It was just different, okay? Can't we just get this over with?"

Damon fights the strong urge to roll his eyes dramatically.

"Fine! What do you want me to do?"

"Talk to me."

"What?" he snaps unintentionally. "Isn't that what I'm doing, right now, or is it all in my head?!"

"Just keep talking to me!"

"Fine, but remember that I have rules."

She frowns now. "I don't have a stake."

"You and I both know that's not the only way to kill a vampire."

"Fine."

"You ready?"

"Mhm."

Damon lifts his hand to his mouth, pausing before he changes. His eyes turn red, the dark veins spread quickly on his face, and seconds later he bites into the skin of his pale. His eyes return to their normal shade of light, almost clear, blue and the dark marks disappear from his face. The blood pools in his hand.

"Just think of it...As soda. Red, cherry soda." he smiles playfully.

She shoots him a look. "That's not helping, Damon."

He sighs loudly, extending his hand to her as he does. She looks down at it, before shutting her eyes and allowing Damon to guide her to the blood. Her lips press softly against his hand, and the blood runs into her mouth slowly.

"You're almost done, and then that's it." he tries to talk to her. "You'll never have to drink blood again, unless you nearly die again – Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Okay, you're done. You can stop now."

Johanna lifts her head back and sighs slightly, focusing on keeping the blood. Trickles of it run down her chin, unnoticed by her. Damon notices it. He lifts his hand to her chin and wipes it away, watching as she meets his gaze.

"Thank you, Damon." she whispers quietly.

With that, she breaks away and leans back against the door frame.

He shrugs like it's nothing. "It's what I'm here for. Right? Oh, wait, we're here to train. That's right."

"You want me to go do another lap around the house?"

Damon shakes his head, stepping into the archway in front of her.

"Why don't I give you another chance to stake me, and put an end to my eternal existence of misery?" he asks, wearing a crooked smile.

And just like many times before she can't read him. Johanna can't determine whether he is messing around or if he genuinely means these words, that his existence is truly filled with misery and he wishes for it to end.

* * *

When Matt returns to the lake house he finds that Jeremy is still absent and Damon is nowhere to be found. Stepping inside quickly, he finds Johanna coming down the staircase in a blue shirt and a pair of brown and white pants. He smiles at the sight of her.

"Hey."

She looks up and smiles. "You missed it."

"What?"

"The whole day." she walks down to him. "But don't worry, we can train tomorrow."

"Sorry, I was working."

There's only a partial truth to that statement. Matt spent most of the afternoon at his own place, thinking about difficult things and trying to make decisions. His eyes follow her as she steps towards the sink, to get herself a glass of water.

"Listen, Jo..." Matt sighs quietly.

She glances back at him, still smiling. "What is it?"

"There's something I have to tell you...Something I gotta say."

A slight frown crosses over her face, and her smile falters. She puts down the glass in her hands and takes a step closer to him, her eyes moving over him quickly as she tries to search for some answers.

"What's wrong, Matt?"

Matt swallows tightly. "It's about this whole training thing, with Damon-"

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." Damon announces loudly, appearing suddenly in the doorway. "I thought my ears were burning."

Johanna ignores him.

"What is it, Matt?"

"Yeah, Matt, what is it?" Damon cocks his head to the right. "You can talk about it with us. It's a safe place."

Matt pauses.

"Can we have a word?"

Damon takes this as his moment to step in between the two. He slides in between them, places his hand on Matt's shoulder and forcefully shoves him towards the door.

"Sure we can." Damon exclaims.

"I think he was talking to me." she says.

Damon shakes his head.

"No, it was me. Definitely me. We'll be right back."

Matt is guided outside by Damon, who shoves him out on the porch. He shoots Damon another glare when he is shoved down the stairs.

"What are you doing?!"

"Keep moving." Damon instructs, still shoving him forward.

Matt goes forward against his will, and with one thought in his mind: Damon can't change this. He's determined to tell Johanna the truth now, because she has a right to know it all.

They walk until Johanna couldn't possibly hear them, and then walk a little more.

"What are you doing?" Matt snaps.

"I think the more appropriate question is, what the hell are _you _doing, quarterback? Did you suddenly grow a conscious, or a weakness?" Damon nearly growls.

"She has a right to know the truth"

"Oh, really? Go on, tell me exactly what you'd tell her."

Matt pauses.

"That she's being used."

"Yeah. I'm sure that will go down great, considering you've been involved with it since the start." Damon bites back. "Why the sudden guilt?"

"She's been through a lot, Damon. Because of us."

"Yeah, so?" Damon replies. "Life is crap. We all go through a lot of things, that doesn't mean we back out. What I don't understand is you were determined to do this, because it is for your best friend Jeremy. What's changed?"

Matt quickly shakes his head. "Johanna deserves to know that she's being used to get the cure, and that none of this is real, and Jeremy deserves to know that he was never intended to be used to find the cure. One way or another, he's going to find out eventually."

"Yeah. Eventually. Not today, and not tomorrow. Got it?"

"I have to tell her."

"What good will that do, Matt? Hm? Please, do tell how exactly you see that scenario playing out? She takes her anger out on the vampire population, wiping them out – removing nearly everyone who is stupid enough to give a crap about you. This doesn't end well, either way. There is no scenario where this ends well." Damon answers.

"I don't know how it ends, but it has to end now."

"Fine." Damon throws his hands up in the air.

"Go on, quarterback. Tell her the truth, about how one of your dearest friends, Elena, has been using her. Betray the friends you've known for years, the friends that Johanna will probably try to kill if she learns the truth. If you're willing to take that risk, then go right ahead."

* * *

**A/N: Hi! Here is the 4th update for this week, because I was excited about this chapter and wanted you all to read it... ****I apologise for any spelling errors I may have missed, and if you find any please let me know. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, and the next one will be up soon.**

**Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my story, it means so much to me and I appreciate it a lot. A very special thanks to the kind, awesome reviewers of chapter 23: lilsis321, Sabine Christensen, SophStratt, JoyScott13 and Alsynea :)**

**Enjoy.**

**Guest review:**

**Julia 9/25/13 . chapter 23: **Hi, Julia :) Thank you so much for leaving such a kind review, it was really great to read. I'm really, really happy you enjoyed it. Damon will be saved eventually (Come on! Of course I'm not going to kill off Damon, if you had any doubts) but it will come at a great price, I'll just say that. It will also be a trigger of future events. More jealous Damon to come in the future :) haha. Thanks again, I hope you enjoy this new chapter! xox

**x**


	25. Blood and bones

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

**Soundtrack: ****Lykee Li - Until we bleed, Bon Iver - Skinny love (For the Jamon scene), John Nordstrom - Lost along the way.**

* * *

_I do stupid things._

When Matt returns inside, several minutes later, he finds Johanna resting in the same chair at the dining table. When she catches sight of him, moving through the doorway, an uncertain smile spreads over her face and she pauses noticeably

"Hey." she finally says.

"Hey."

He crosses the room and slowly takes a seat down, across from her. Johanna crosses one leg over the other, and leans back in her chair. Folding her arms across her chest, a slight frown rests on her face as she silently observes him. Taking in his movements, his words, and his overall posture.

"What's wrong?" she speaks up finally. "You wanted to tell me something about training?"

Matt looks closer, finding uncertainty clouding her eyes.

"I just..."

"What?" her voice rises a little. "What is it, Matt? You're acting different. What did Damon do?"

"Damon didn't do anything." Matt answers quickly.

"I don't believe that."

"He didn't do anything, Jo."

"Then, tell me what happened?" a small smile returns. "Okay? You know you can talk to me. Just say it."

Matt falls silent, pausing as he silently considers his next words very carefully.

Damon's words replay in his mind, and as much as he doesn't want to listen to them, as much as he wants to do the right thing, he listens to the words and continues to stick to the lie because he's scared to tell her and lose her. She's become so important to him, and he isn't ready to lose her yet.

"It's good to have you around here, training. It's been...fun."

She hesitates.

"You're sure that's it? Because seemed really serious earlier, and then Damon dragged you out of here. And now...You're weird."

"Damon is...Damon." Matt shrugs, a dry laugh passing his lips. "He does whatever he wants, whether it makes sense or not. And I'm not being weird, or anything like that. Like I said, it's good to have you here. Knowing that you have my back, and Jeremy's, is a good feeling."

"Are you sure that's it?"

"Yeah." he answers nervously. "What-What else would it be?"

"I get the feeling..."

"What?"

"No, it's nothing." she leans back in her chair.

"No, what?"

Johanna sighs briefly, her eyes slowly meeting his once more.

"I get the feeling like there are things being kept from me."

"Like what?"

Matt feels sweat running down the back of his neck.

"I don't know." she scratches at her forehead. "Like I said, it's just a feeling."

"Well, it's wrong."

It hurts him to lie to her still, but he doesn't have a choice.

"If you say so." her eyes rest on him for a moment.

"Yep."

Matt forces another smile.

She returns it, with a small smile.

"It's good to be here, with you guys."

"Good." Matt stands quickly from the table. "Alright, I'm gonna hit the shower."

"Alright."

"See you soon." he calls out, before taking the stairs two at a time.

The silence stays with her, in the several minutes that pass, while she reflects silently on their previous conversation. A feeling remains inside of her, and she can't shake the thought that there's something more. Something else. She gives up on those thoughts for the evening, and takes a step outside in the cool, evening night. The breeze sweeps over her softly, calming her immediately.

A voice from behind her breaks the silence, and takes away her small minute of peace.

The voice is deadly, dark and dangerous and if it belonged to anyone but Damon she would have taken it seriously.

"If I snapped your neck, right now, you'd be a vampire."

Johanna spins around immediately, finding Damon standing behind her with a look of mania building in his eyes. She doesn't take him, or his words, seriously. She doesn't believe the look of mania in his eyes is real, but it is.

"Don't be a jerk, Damon." Johanna snaps back quickly. "You said you wouldn't, anyway."

He silently inches closer to her.

"Yeah, well, promises can be broken."

She instinctively reaches for the stake in her boot, but finds that it isn't there because she's not wearing her boots. Her eyes flicker up to him slowly as he nears her, and she finds that his skin is sweaty. Droplets of water roll down his cheeks and he looks beyond the point of exhaustion.

"Damon." she starts cautiously. "What happened to you? What have you been doing?"

"That's all it would take." he nearly smiles. "The twisting of your neck, _hunter, _and you'd be dead for all eternity..."

Johanna looks away from his eyes and down to his arm, finding that the fabric of his shirt is stained with blood that wasn't there before. Without thinking of doing so, and without hesitating, she steps forward and pulls up his sleeve to find that there is a deep wound, a bite mark, on his left arm. The wound is puffy, swollen, and is a mixed swirl of dark crimson and thick purple.

"Or I could bleed you dry."

Damon spins her around suddenly, slamming her body back against the wall. Johanna tries to break free of his hold, but he's far too strong. He presses his body up against hers, brushes her curls to the side, and eyes off her neck longingly like he can't wait to drink from her.

"Damon, what the hell are you doing?" the panic echoes in her voice. "Damon, stop it."

He stops, just like that. It's like something inside of his mind clicks, registers what he's doing and who she is, and he drops his hand. Taking a big step back, he eyes her off curiously like he doesn't understand, or remember, what the two of them are doing out here.

An instant frown creeps over his face.

"What are you doing?!"

"What am I doing?!" she shouts back. "You just threatened to kill me!"

Damon steps back slightly, his eyes darting around as he tries to recall memories, fragments, and they return to him.

Johanna spots something on his neck, and moves forward. Johanna reaches for the collar of his shirt and pulls it away, revealing the wound on the right side of his neck; it is swollen, darker than the wound on his wrist, and bleeding.

Darkness fills his eyes.

"I thought you took the cure?"

Damon backs away, leans against the railing seconds later.

"This, just now, didn't happen." he warns her.

She shakes her head.

"Damon..."

"It didn't happen! Okay?"

She breathes out quietly. "Just let me take one more look."

"No."

"One look, and then I'll drop it." she promises.

He rolls his eyes and steps forward.

"Not a word of this to anyone?"

She hesitates.

"Okay." she agrees finally.

Johanna gently settles her hand against his neck, placing it firmly on the skin above the wound. She lifts her eyes to his, and before he knows what she's doing she places her left hand on the other side of his neck and twists his neck so it snaps. Johanna snaps his neck seconds later, causing him to fall limp in her arms.

She soon decides this was probably not her best plan, but it was her only solution. She drags his limp body inside, hoping silently that Matt won't come down the stairs. She manages to drag his body inside her room, placing him down on the bed, just as she sound of footsteps fills the air. Johanna moves quickly to the door, taking a step out of it as she does. He glances at her, a small smile on his face.

"You hungry?"

Johanna shakes her head quickly.

"Uh...No, I ate earlier. I think I'm going to call it a night, I think I need time to myself."

She hopes that Matt will take the hint, and he does.

"If you like, I could stay at the Gilbert House tonight?" he suggests. "Jeremy's still there and we can stay there, if you need time to yourself."

"Thanks. I just had...Let's just say Damon was full on."

She smiles back kindly.

"Yeah," Matt breaks out into a smile. "He can be. Where is he now?"

She shifts slightly in her stance.

"He left earlier. I don't know where he went."

Matt nods slightly, a small frown on his face still.

"Okay. Well, I'll head over to the Gilbert House...But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Right." she smiles still. "We can hang out then, if you like?"

"Sounds good. Goodnight, Johanna."

Just as Matt grips the handle to his room, she speaks.

"Matt?"

He turns back towards her.

"Yeah?"

Johanna hesitates, glancing back at Damon's crumpled and currently dead body, before she shuts the door to her bedroom and moves towards him. She can't tell him this now but she's doing this for him. Whatever is happening to Damon isn't good. He's dangerous, he threatened to kill her three times in less than sixty seconds. She doesn't want Matt or Jeremy around the house when this is happening. She's doing this for them, because they've done so much for her.

"If there was anything you wanted..."

"What?"

"If there was anything that you wanted to talk to me about, you know that you could. Don't you?" she says quietly.

His smile falters, and a flash of sadness enters his eyes.

"Did I say something wrong?" she quickly asks.

He shakes his head, wanting to assure her that she definitely didn't do anything wrong.

"Nah, you didn't." he says. "It's just..Thanks. For saying that."

She shrugs.

"It's the truth."

He smiles and steps towards her, opening his arms to her. She slips into his arms and they embrace tightly. Matt settles his hands against her while she comfortably rests her head against his chest.

"Matt?"

He keeps his arms around her.

"Yeah?" he answers quietly.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything."

They break the embrace slowly, both wearing small but genuine smiles as they do.

"You're all wet." she shoves him away. "Go get dry, you don't want to get sick."

He grins.

"Yes, ma'am."

"See you tomorrow." she turns away.

The smile on his face flickers.

"See you."

A sharp, throbbing pain rises up through Damon's body and eventually hits his head harshly. He wakes slowly, his eyes flickering over the room before it. It takes him a moment but he soon realizes where he is, and confusion soon strikes him. Damon sits up slowly in a bed that is not his, and halts when realizing that his hands are tied to the railing of the bed. Trying to break out of the binds proves to be pointless, as his wrists burn with pain. Vervain coated binds.

Damon calls out to the last person he remembers being with.

"Johanna?"

Seconds later she appears from the bathroom, her arms crossed and a stern look set on her hardened features. She watches him carefully, like he's done something, and it leaves him questioning whether he did something he can't remember.

"What the hell..." Damon starts, pausing suddenly as he coughs loudly. "What.."

"You're hurt, Damon."

"You're going to be hurting in a minute if you don't remove these binds."

A cool breeze sweeps over his chest, causing him to realize he's no longer wearing his shirt.

"What did we do?"

She rolls her eyes obviously.

"_We_ didn't do anything. _You _were bitten by the hybrid and wanted to kill me. I had to take you shirt off to see, I counted three bites."

"So, your solution to that was to tie me up?" Damon lifts an eyebrow. "Good idea."

"It was just until you woke up."

"Until you were sure I wasn't going to kill you again?"

Johanna doesn't answer him, instead she just nods.

"I'm not going to kill you." he says.

"You won't leave this room either." she answers quickly. "Not unless I say."

"Kinky." he almost smiles.

"Damon, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"You're dying, Damon. This is serious. I can either leave you tied up uncomfortably, or I can untie you. It's your choice."

For a brief second he pretends to consider his options.

"I think I'll go for the removal of the binds."

"You can't leave this room if I do." Johanna sets her hands to her hips. "Okay?"

Damon sighs loudly, clearly annoyed. "Fine."

He watches as she walks to his side. First, she removes the bind from his right wrist before walking around to the opposite side of the bed and removing the second bind. Damon's eyes never falter away from her.

"How did you know about vervain anyway?"

"I'm sorry, about the vervain." she answers quietly. "I know it hurts you."

"I staked you." Damon says. "I think this officially calls even."

Johanna takes a seat on the bed next to him. "Why did you lie?"

He coughs loudly, repeatedly, for several minutes until it passes and he closes his eyes. The weight of his wounds suddenly feels heavy upon his shoulders.

"He wouldn't give it to me." Damon mutters. "It's not...It wasn't your problem to deal with."

"Well, it's my problem now. Isn't it?"

"Just go." he growls. "You don't have to stay here and watch me die, even if you'd get some sick sort of pleasure from seeing that."

The silence that follows causes Damon to open his eyes.

"What kind of monster do you think I am?" her voice breaks. "You think I'd enjoy watching you, or any one else, die?"

Suddenly, he feels guilt falling down over him. His lips part, like he might say something, but instead he falls silent and continues to watch her as she stands from the bed. Walking to the bathroom slowly, Johanna disappears inside for a few minutes until she steps out with a bowl in her hands. Several cloths hang from the sides of her right arm. She sets the bowl down on the table next to his bed, before retaking her seat on the bed and placing the first cloth in the water.

"Johanna..."

"Shut up and let me help you." she snaps.

Damon frowns again.

"What are you doing?"

"What about that didn't you understand?"

"What are you doing?" Damon repeats. "Why are you doing this?"

She sighs loudly, turning to face him reluctantly. "If you really want to know, I'm trying to ease the pain."

"Why?"

"It looks painful." Johanna answers. "I'm just trying to help, Damon. Don't you want it?"

"No, I mean...Why are you trying to ease _my_ pain?"

"It looks insufferable. No one deserves that."

Damon's voice becomes significantly quieter.

"Not even the bad guy?"

After an initial moment of hesitation she responds.

"There are people..."

Johanna trails off, picking the cloth up she rings it out and then focuses on the bite on his lower right arm. She gently runs the cloth over his skin, feeling his eyes on her the entire time. He won't stop until he has his answer, so she speaks again.

"There are people who are truly bad, who aren't redeemable and deserve pain.."

Damon thinks on these words for a moment before he finds it in himself to answer.

"And what you're saying is, I'm one of those people?"

"No." she answers. "I don't think you are."

A tense silence is broken, and lasts as she moves closer and tends to the wound on his neck. Tilting his head to the left gently, she washes the wound carefully. Damon winces occasionally, but doesn't complain.

"What makes you think I'm good?" he asks.

"I didn't say that." Johanna suddenly meets his gaze. "I didn't say that I thought you were good. I said I didn't think you were all bad. That's what I said, Damon."

"Really? And what led you to that conclusion?"

"You care..." she continues quietly. "About people."

Damon's eyes close as he breathes inwards sharply.

"You don't have to be here, you don't owe me anything."

She nods slightly, wiping the wound on his neck still.

"I know that."

Johanna stands and walks to the other side of the bed, sitting down on it she begins to wash the last wound. Silence returns between them, remaining while Johanna places clean, dry clothes on his wounds.

"I've been here before."

She looks up at him with curiosity in her soft eyes.

"Werewolf bite." he clears up the confusion.

"And you got the cure the first time?"

Damon nods stiffly, clearly remembering that he only received the cure last time because Stefan offered himself to Klaus. He doesn't want his brother to go through that again, and he certainly doesn't want Elena to go through this again.

"I deserve this.." he murmurs quietly.

"No one does."

"Not even me?"

She returns to the table, dips a cloth in the water and rings it out so it isn't dripping everywhere. Johanna leans down over him, brushing the hair softly from his sticky forehead. His eyes close slowly, as he tries to focus on anything but the pain that grows and the poison that courses through his body.

"Not even you."

Johanna wipes gently at his forehead.

"Tell me what the cure is, and where to find it."

Damon doesn't hesitate to answer. "You won't get it."

"That's not what I'm asking. Tell me what it is, and where to find it."

He swallows tightly, feeling her fingers brushing against his skin.

"I believe you've had the pleasure of meeting Klaus."

"He has the cure?" she responds.

"His blood is the cure for a werewolf bite. It cured me last time...But I don't deserve it now, I never did."

Damon's eyes open when he hears her standing from the bed. She steps towards the two bags in the corner of the room, pulling out two guns and three stakes. Setting them down on the end of the bed seconds later, she turns back to the bags and rummages through them until she finds an empty vial.

"Klaus won't give it to you." he grimaces. "And you can't kill him."

She shrugs.

"I don't have to kill him, I just have to get his blood."

Johanna pulls a pair of brown pants, and a black shirt from her back. She walks to the bathroom, steps inside and shuts the door. Minutes later she exits dressed in clothes.

"You won't get it."

Damon watches while she pulls on her boots, slides the stakes carefully in the boots, and then shoves both of the guns down the back of her pants between her belt. She pulls her shirt over them to cover them, and then picks up the vial which she slides in her pocket.

"It's worth a shot, since it's the only one you have." she crosses her arms.

"You're going to die."

Johanna pauses briefly. "We all have to die eventually."

"Then let me die now."

"Damon." she stops him. "If vampire blood heals humans.."

"It won't heal me."

"My blood will help you. Right?"

"No. It won't heal me..Only the cure."

Damon's eyes linger on her still, and despite the sleepy feeling that washes over him he keeps his eyes open.

She steps closer. "But it will give you strength."

"You don't have to do this." he snaps angrily. "You don't owe me anything."

"Answer my question."

"Leave!" his anger grows.

"Answer my question, Damon!" she snaps back.

"Leave, you don't-"

"Will my blood give you strength or not?" Johanna shouts over him. "Just answer the damn question, Damon. It's a really simple one."

"Fine!" he shouts back. "Yes! It will give me some strength back. There! You have your answer."

Her expression softens in seconds. "And the pain won't be as bad?"

"Yes, but it won't last long."

"Okay."

Damon's frown deepens. "Okay? What the hell do you mean-"

"Stop it." she sits on the bed, next to him. "Just stop, and let me help you."

Johanna extends her left wrist to him slowly, watching as he eyes her off suspiciously.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Same reason you did it for me, to help."

Damon sits up slowly against the pillow.

"You're sure-"

"Do it." she answers. "Drink."

"You won't try to kill me because of your, you know..Urges."

"I don't know what I'll do, Damon, but you need this so do it. Whatever comes next, we'll face together."

Damon exhales shakily, before lifting her wrist to his mouth with a surprising softness. His fingers trail over the skin gently, before his fangs slowly slide out. His teeth press against his skin, and he pauses before biting her wrist. Immediately, the warmth of it feels his mouth. It trails down and into his mouth, moving soothingly down his throat. He relishes it, enjoys it, and almost can't stop.

She snaps and tears her arm away while his teeth are still sunken in, causing the skin of her wrist to become badly torn. The blood flows heavier now, and he can't ignore it but he can't move either because when he looks up he finds that she's holding a gun, loaded with bullets, at his heart.

Damon lips his licks slowly, wiping away remnants of blood, and then he speaks.

"Johanna-"

"Damon." she snaps back harshly. "Don't move, and don't speak. Don't do anything."

"You can control this."

"Damon." she warns him. "Listen to me, for once-"

"Look at me." he says simply.

She frowns because she's already looking at him.

"I mean, really look at me..I'm just like you. On the surface, I'm like you. Think about that."

For the first time in a long time Johanna _really_ looks at him. She looks at his face, all the tiny details, and the rest of him. Lastly, she looks into his eyes. Blue waters swirling with a cold beauty. When she really looks at him, she doesn't see a vampire, or a monster. She just sees Damon.

Johanna's eyes shut heavily, and she pauses before focusing on his outside appearance in he memory. She clings to that and somehow she is able to carefully withdraw the gun and put it away. He watches on as she walks to her bags, searching until she finds a thick bandage. She doesn't have time to clean the cut on her wrist properly, so she wraps it up tightly and forgets about it for now.

"Johanna, about-"

"Don't leave this room." she says firmly. "Okay? Do you understand that? Don't leave."

"Fine."

Johanna departs from the room seconds later, and he can hear her voice calling out to him.

"I'll be back."

Damon's eye shut once more, and he settles down against the bed. He hopes to find sleep, but knows that it won't come easily and instead he will be tortured with painful thoughts and memories just like the last time.

* * *

Johanna follows the same path that led her to Klaus' house the other night, when Damon ordered her to drive here. Slowly, she slides out of the car and walks to the front door. She only has to knock twice before it is opened by Klaus, who stands on the inside with a smile on his face like he knew she would come to him.

"Is he dead already?" Klaus asks. "For a vampire that old, and strong, I believed he'd be stronger."

"I'm here for the cure."

His smile widens. "So, Damon's not dead?"

"Not yet. I'm here for the cure."

"It's not that easy, even for a hunter like yourself. On that note, what a strange time we find ourselves in that a Hunter of The Five has come to a vampire in search of a cure to save another vampire's life. Compared to the days when hunters would enjoy tearing out the hearts of cold-blooded murderers, and where vampires would gain equal pleasure in ripping out a hunters heart."

She holds her ground, despite the slight flutter of fear that builds inside her chest

"Do you think I don't enjoy it?"

Klaus tilts his head sideways, watching her with a silent curiosity.

"Then you're right."

"I think you're lying." Klaus counters. "But, I guess in time we will see. Oh, and Johanna, dear...You cannot stake me, or cause me any deep damage with wooden bullets, so don't bother with the weapons that you've concealed well on your body. Please, do come inside. For a drink, perhaps?"

She enters slowly and cautiously.

"Let me put your mind to rest," Klaus quickly turns to her. "I did not lure you here to kill you, for you have yet to be of use to me."

A deeper frown creases over her face.

"How can I be of use to you?"

"In time you will see." he answers. "Whiskey?"

"No, but I'll take a vial of your blood."

He turns to her and smiles patiently. "Why are you here?"

"Damon-"

"You are not here for him, though." he says quickly. "Are you? You are here because you care for Jeremy Gilbert, don't you? And you do not wish for him, or Elena, to feel further pain or suffering? To lose yet another member of their family?"

She holds his steady gaze. "What do you gain from this?"

"I stand to gain it all, or lose it all." he cryptically answers. "As do you..."

"What do you want?"

"Many things." he returns to the whiskey and pours himself a glass. "But you ask, what it is I want specifically in return for me providing you with the cure to save Damon Salvatore's life?"

"Yes." she answers loudly. "What is it you want?"

"You."

Klaus turns to face her. In a matter of seconds, his pleasant smile shifts to a deadlier one.

"I want to train you, to use your skills." he says coldly.

Johanna hesitates.

"You, a hybrid, wishes to use a hunter to kill your own?"

"There are...Goals that I wish to achieve. Having a hunter as powerful as yourself, as powerful as Jeremy Gilbert, would prove to be a great advantage." Klaus quickly smiles. "That's all I'm asking of you. Reasonable, isn't it?"

Johanna steps closer.

"If I agree, you'll give me the cure to save his life?"

Klaus nods. "Yes."

"Then, I'll have to respectfully decline your offer, as reasonable as it sounds."

"Damon Salvatore will die then, because of your refusal and your inability to act." Klaus says, with a surprising calmness to his voice.

"Do you think I care about that?" she questions. "About the death of a monster? I don't. He can die. What I care about, and what I want to know, is if there's another cure except for your blood?"

She's trying to find another cure, another way, and Klaus sees right through her act. She cares, or she wouldn't be here n the first place.

"There isn't, I assure you of that.""

"I suppose I'll have to discover that myself."

Klaus' voice follows after her as she moves away from him.

"You will return to me, I guarantee you that."

* * *

The house is dimly lit and silent when Jeremy returns to it. He reaches quickly for the spare key he'd kept on him and unlocks the door, so he may get inside and escape the heavy rain which has begun to fall outside. Once inside he looks around and finds it eerily silent. He shakes off the cold water and exhales loudly.

Jeremy calls out.

"Johanna?"

He closes the door and locks it once he's inside, before he moves into the living room. He finds more emptiness, and a half full bottle of whiskey. Jeremy believes that Johanna might be upstairs, and despite that Matt had told him that she'd wished for a night alone he had wanted to stop by and pick up a few things and check in to make sure Damon hadn't pushed her too hard, because he was good at doing that to people.

"Johanna?" he calls out again, receiving silence once more.

"Damon?"

Jeremy takes the stairs cautiously, hearing no noises from any part of the house as he does. When he reaches the top stair he pauses, and finds a light slipping through the crack underneath the door to Johanna's room. He steps towards it quickly, knocking on it three times.

He receives no answer but enters anyway, and to his surprise and confusion he finds Damon resting on her bed. He lies with his eyes shut, bare-chested, on her bed looking sweaty and tired.

Immediate confusion comes over him.

"What the hell..." Jeremy starts.

Damon's eyes snap open, and a frown immediately crosses his face.

"What are you doing here?" Damon asks angrily, like he was expecting someone else.

"What are _you_ doing in here?" Jeremy snaps back, his eyes skimming the room for any sight of Johanna.

Damon sighs with annoyance and shuts his eyes.

"Get out."

Jeremy almost laughs with disbelief.

"This isn't your room! This is..Where's Johanna?"

"Go." Damon firmly says, keeping his eyes shut. "Leave now."

"Where is Johanna? What did you do-"

"I got bored, and had her as vampire chow."

Damon opens his eyes to find Jeremy glaring at him, and he could almost laugh at the sight. Almost. But he's struck with a sudden, sharp pain which kills any moments of brief happiness.

"Come on, I'm not serious." Damon sighs. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Elena?"

Jeremy's frown remains as he looks closer at Damon.

"Why are you all...Are those werewolf bites?" he stops quickly, skimming over the three wounds as he does.

"Yeah." Damon coughs. "About that...I had an encounter."

"Three bites?!" Jeremy's voice rises.

"Congratulations, you can count."

Jeremy exhales loudly.

"Damon, you're-"

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm dying. Tell me something I don't know."

After shutting the door behind him, Jeremy takes several closer so he may look at the wounds clearer. The bite on his neck is the worst, and seems to be the one causing him the most pain.

"When did this happen?"

"Go home." Damon instructs.

Jeremy shakes his head quickly.

"You haven't told Elena, have you? Or Stefan? Were you just going to die without saying anything to them?!"

"I figured that after I died, I'd come back and haunt your ass...I could speak to them through you..."

"It doesn't work like that, Damon." Jeremy quickly answers. "The ghosts that see me, I think they have...Unresolved business."

"Don't worry, little Gilbert." he responds, "I have a lot of unresolved crap."

A moment of hesitation passes before Jeremy reaches inside the pocket of his pants for the phone.

"I have to call Elena."

"No."

Damon tries to stand, but fails. He winces loudly and quickly falls down against the pillow.

"Why not?"

"Don't." Damon almost pleads.

"Tell me why, and I won't." Jeremy counters.

Damon's eyes close once more, he breathes out heavily and takes a moment to answer.

"Johanna's trying to get me the cure. Okay? I doubt she will succeed, but I don't want to break it to Elena that I'm dying until I know I'm out of options."

Damon tells another lie because it's easier. He knows that they won't retrieve the cure, there is no way that he comes out of this, no way he beats it.

"The cure – isn't the cure Klaus' blood?"

Damon breathes out shakily.

"Klaus...Sanctioned this."

"Why?"

"Why?!" Damon responds. "It doesn't matter why! What matters is you get the hell out of here."

"I don't understand," Jeremy pauses. "Last time it hit you after a couple days. This is- This is quick. Wait, how long have you had this?"

"A couple days."

Damon's eyes open once more.

Another moment of silence lasts but it is longer, and filled with far more tension than it was seconds earlier.

"I need you to do something for me." Damon says, with a lowered voice.

Jeremy begins to shake his head, to refuse.

"You talk to Elena and Stefan yourself-"

"I'm not asking that, idiot." Damon sighs. "Let me speak first.

Jeremy crosses his arms.

"Fine. What?"

"Try to..Summon Ric."

Jeremy's expression shifts.

"Why?"

"Don't ask why, just go do it." Damon answers stubbornly.

"He might not come to me." Jeremy says quietly, because it's likely he won't come. "He hasn't been back since...Last time."

"I don't care." Damon snaps back. "Just try."

"I thought you wanted me to leave?"

"Stay downstairs. Don't come up unless he's here, okay?"

"Fine."

Jeremy turns his back slowly on Damon.

"And don't give me any reason to come downstairs." Damon calls out loudly.

"Alright!" Jeremy answers, before he departs from the room and shuts the door.

He leaves Damon in a painful and haunting silence, which causes his eyes to shut tightly and hope for rest.

* * *

Johanna stands outside of Rebekah's place for several long minutes before she finally decides to venture inside. She moves past the front gates quickly, and steps towards the front doors. After knocking several times she finally hears Rebekah's voice calling back, saying that she's coming to the door.

Seconds later the front door opens and Rebekah stands before her.

"Johanna," Rebekah smiles. "What a surprise. A pleasant one, definitely. What are you doing here?"

"Do you carry the cure?"

A slight frown flickers across her face.

"What are you rambling about?"

Her smile disappears immediately as she takes notice of her bloody left arm. She leans forward and lifts up Johanna's arm to attempt to inspect the wound.

"And, why are you bleeding so badly?" Rebekah questions, glancing back towards her. "Quick, come inside, you're injured. I can help you."

Johanna quickly pulls her arm away.

"It's nothing."

Concern builds inside Rebekah.

"It doesn't look like nothing, on the contrary it looks like something. What happened to you? Who did this?"

"It's a scratch, Rebekah. Really, it's nothing. It's tiny." Johanna replies. "Is the cure in your blood?"

Rebekah's frown only deepens. "The cure for what?"

"The cure for a werewolf's bite."

Her frown disappears.

"Who was bitten?"

"Is the cure in your blood?" Johanna repeats.

Rebekah shakes her head.

"No. My brother, Niklaus. He carries it in his blood."

She watches as Johanna takes a slight step away and lifts her head upwards, exhaling softly into the cold night as she does. Her eyes briefly close, and she inhales sharply.

"Is there something I can help you with, Johanna?"

Rebekah steps forward.

Her eyes quickly reopen. "No, I'm sorry for bothering you, Rebekah."

"Johanna..." Rebekah sighs. "You're not a bother, you're a friend."

She takes several steps away before she stops and turns towards Rebekah.

"You can't leave like this."

She shakes her head. "I have to leave, Rebekah."

"Maybe, I can help you?" Rebekah suggests. "Convince Nik-"

"Is there another way?" Johanna asks. "Is there another cure?"

Rebekah shakes her head once. "No, there isn't."

Johanna lowers her head.

"Then, you can't help. I'm sorry, for wasting your evening...Just forget that I was here."

* * *

**A/N: Hi, **

**Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I appreciate it a lot and hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it. :) Thank you, also, to those who have placed this story as a favourite or followed it. This chapter is another one of my favourites, but with that said the next chapter (which I'll probably update tomorrow) is one of my all time favourites and I can't wait for you to read it. I apologise, in advance, for any spelling errors missed. If you find any, please let me know. And, as always, if you have any thoughts/suggestions or anything you'd like to see then, please, let me know. I'd love to hear them.**

**A very big, special, thank you to the kind people who left reviews (who I can't believe broke 100 on the review count! :D) ****Alsynea, Celinachanz, SophStratt, JoyScott13, Juli(a)?, InfinitePassion24 and lilsis321 :)**

**Guest review:**

**Julia 9/27/13 . chapter 24: **Hi, Juli (I'm pretty sure that this is Julia, who has left awesome reviews on previous chapters, but I didn't want to assume it was. If it's not you, sorry.) Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my story, it means a lot to me and I do appreciate it. Yep! Jo is the first to find out he's dying, and that he's almost out of time. Awwww, you're too kind! This review really made my day, and I'm so happy you loved this new chapter. Thank you! I hope you like this new one :D x

**Enjoy.**

**x**


	26. Lights in the distance

******Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

******Sountrack: Daughter - Medicine, Birdy - People help the people, Mumford and Sons - Ghosts that we knew.**

* * *

_I do things like let my friend die with dignity._

Long, drawn out hours that are filled with waiting, attempts to summon Alaric, and trying to stay awake, pass Jeremy by slowly. In the silence of the dark room, a voice startles him and causes Jeremy to sit up straight. Alaric appears, as he always does, unexpectedly.

"Jeremy." Alaric says simply.

Jeremy straightens up in the chair, his eyes immediately drawn to the ghost sitting before him.

"What...er.." Jeremy quietly mutters, stretching his legs out. "You're here."

"Is everything okay, Jeremy?" Ric asks, concern already on his face. "You were thinking of me."

"I didn't think you'd come."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just.." Jeremy stops.

He glances down at his phone to check the time, and finds that it is one thirty in the morning. He immediately thinks of Damon, and wonders if he's still in the house. Jeremy stands from the chair and looks towards Ric, who is also standing now.

"He's still here, isn't he?" Jeremy asks, like he expects Ric to know the answer.

"Yes."

Ric nods simply, feeling another presence in the house.

"He is."

Alaric catches relief falling over Jeremy's face.

"Good. He's, er.."

"Damon's dying, isn't he?"

"There might be a cure." Jeremy responds uncertainly.

Ric pauses briefly. "Does Elena know?"

"No, not yet.

"Good," he answers. "Keep it that way until there's complete certainty that he's going to die. Keep it that way until Damon is ready, it's his choice not ours."

Jeremy shifts in his stance, lifts his hand to his forehead and runs his fingers against his skin.

"You sure you're okay?" Ric checks.

He nods. "Yeah...I'll, er..I'll let him know you're here."

Jeremy takes the lead upstairs, and moves towards the bedroom. He grips the handle, turns it, and steps inside to find Damon resting on his side. His body drips with sweat, his eyes are half open, and the bowl that had been on the table next to his bed has been thrown to the floor and smashed into tiny pieces.

"What do _you_ want?" Damon almost growls.

"Alaric's here."

"He's dead, idiot."

"He's here. I can see him. You asked me to...Try to summon him." Jeremy steps inside cautiously.

Damon pulls himself up slowly, releasing a loud go as he does. He sits up on the bed, cracking his neck to the side, before he attempts to stand. Damon quickly falls back down against the small bed, coughing heavily for a moment.

Jeremy remembers that vampires bitten by a werewolf suffer hallucination, so he quickly takes a step back and moves out of the doorway.

"He's in the room with you now, Damon." Jeremy closes the door. "He's with you."

Damon's eyes skim the room.

"No, he's not. The room's empty!" Damon shouts back.

"Damon, he's there." Jeremy promises.

Alaric watches Damon from where he stands several feet away from him. His eyes skim over his best-friend, who has again been reduced to a hallucinating, sweaty, mess in constant pain.

"He looks like crap." Alaric sighs.

Jeremy breathes inwards before he slides down against the door. He knows that this conversation will probably last a while and he wants to give them some amount of privacy, so that's why he's staying outside.

"He said that you look like crap." Jeremy says.

Damon manages a weak smile.

"Ah. So, he is here! Ric! Where are you?"

"I'm sitting next to him. Tell him not to try to stand."

"He said don't try to stand," Jeremy repeats. "And he's sitting next to you."

Damon turns slowly towards the empty space beside him, and feels lonelier now than he did in the long and draining hours that had passed him by.

"It's good to see you, but you don't look so good."

"He said you don't look so good, but it's good to see you." Jeremy repeats.

"Wish I could say the same..." Damon mumbles quietly.

"What happened to you, Damon?" Ric asks sadly. "How did this happen?"

Jeremy pauses.

"He wants to know what happened to you."

Damon shuts his eyes and steadies himself against the bed, gripping the mattress so he can remain upright. He coughs loudly, repeatedly, until his hold body shakes and throbs with an unbearable pain.

"Tricky situation." he finally manages to say.

"Damon, this is serious." Ric says, "You could die."

"He says that this is a serious situation, you could die." Jeremy adds in.

Damon shrugs again, like he really couldn't care less.

"I'd see you then, wouldn't I? Do they have whiskey over there?"

Ric almost laughs.

"No, Damon, there isn't whiskey over here."

"There's no whiskey." Jeremy repeats.

Damon shakes his head. "Then, I'm not going. How about...You come back over here, Ric..? That would fix everything..Wouldn't it?"

"I want to, Damon, but I don't have that choice. And, from the looks of things, you don't have much of a choice either." he sighs sadly.

Jeremy doesn't convey this, because Alaric quickly asks him not to.

Damon locks his gaze directly with Alaric's without even realizing that he'd done such a thing.

"What...Jeremy? Jeremy, is he gone? Ric?" Damon calls out, panic quickly filling his voice.

"No, I'm here. I'm still here." Ric quickly says.

"He's here, Damon. He's still there." Jeremy repeats.

Damon breathes out with ease.

"You'll...I'm relying on Johanna, to save my life." Damon coughs again. "I think...She wants me to die, anyway, so I guess I'll be seeing you sooner than I expected."

"Is that true, Jeremy?" Ric asks.

"Apparently." Jeremy replies instantly.

"Ask him where Johanna is, and if she's in danger."

"Where is she, Damon?" Jeremy asks. "Ric wants to know. Is she in danger?"

Damon's weary eyes close, but he continues to sit upright.

"I don't know.."

Ric pauses before the next question passes his lips.

"Why?" Alaric quietly asks. "Why did you compel me to forget Johanna? I remember it all, Damon. I remember the compulsion, we were drinking...For days. I must have missed a day of vervain, and I went back on it the next day like nothing happened...Like I didn't have a sister that I loved."

"Why?" Jeremy asks. "Ric said...Why did you compel him to forget Johanna? He remembers it all, Damon. He remembers the compulsions, that you were drinking for days and he missed his dosage of vervain."

"You wiped her clean from my memory!" Ric's voice rises unintentionally.

Damon draws in a cool breath of air and waits in silence, because just as he begins to speak Jeremy continues.

"You wiped her clean from his memory," Jeremy continues.

"You took away my choice." Ric watches Damon closely, finding that a deeper expression shifts on his face.

Regret fills his eyes, agony spreads over his features.

"You took away his choice." Jeremy repeats.

Damon shakes his head.

"No."

"You kept my only family away from me," Ric closes his eyes for a brief moment. "She was all I had before..."

Jeremy stretches out his legs, and sighs, before he continues.

"You kept his only family away from him, when she was all he had-"

"In my worst times, my darkest moments, you were almost always the only one I had. You were all I had, all that I could count on, Ric." Damon snaps, the pain ringing off of his words. "I did what I had to do to protect you! I was doing it for you."

"Protect me, from Johanna?" Alaric's eyes open.

"From Johanna?" Jeremy questions.

"Yes!" he answers. "I was doing it for you! Really, Ric? I'm on my deathbed and you want to argue like a married couple? And I can't even see you-"

"Damon, you need to trust me when I say you can't die with unfinished business."

"He says you need to trust him when he says you can't die with unfinished business." Jeremy repeats.

Damon snaps and tries to stand, but ends up slumping down against the bed.

"Unfinished business is all I've ever had!" he shouts. "It's all I've got. That and pain, it is constant and it brews and builds up and it never eases up."

Several long minutes pass before Alaric finally speaks again.

"I want to understand this, Damon, and I want to understand your reasons but I can't." he says softly.

Jeremy repeats these words to Damon. "He says that he wants to understand your reasons behind this, but he can't."

"She put you through hell," Damon answers quietly. "I was protecting you. I was doing what I thought...What I thought was best."

Ric understands that Damon was trying to put himself, he was caring for him in his own way, but that doesn't make it any easier.

"She didn't put me through hell, Damon. We went through hell together, and we barely made it out." Ric replies.

Jeremy repeats the words.

"I was helping you." he angrily insists.

"Whatever you think she did, you're wrong. You're so wrong, Damon."

Jeremy repeats this.

"You made a mistake but you can fix that. You can help me now." Ric answers.

"He said for you to help him now."

"How?" Damon's expression softens almost.

Ric smiles sadly. "Tell her."

"Tell her." he repeats.

Damon doesn't understand, this much is clear from the frown which darts across his previously soften features.

"What?" Damon asks.

"That you compelled me to stay away," Alaric says, "Put her mind at rest, let her know that it wasn't by choice and that I would have found her if I had remembered her. Tell her the truth, Damon, she deserves that much and you need to get if off your chest."

"He says that you should tell Johanna that you compelled him to stay away. It might put her mind at rest, if she knows it wasn't his choice." Jeremy answers.

Damon shakes his head once. "Come on, Ric. If I hadn't compelled you, you wouldn't have gone looking anyway. You were bitter."

"I was but not with her. It wasn't her fault, I see that now. It's all clear now." Alaric agrees. "You're right, I was bitter but the bitterness built up until it was all I had. Bitterness and pain. That's not something you want to carry with you to the other side, Damon, trust me"

"He said he was bitter," Jeremy answers. "Until all that he had left was bitterness, anger and pain. I had to let it go. Just like you have to let it go, and she has to as well. Otherwise it's all you've got. He said you don't want to carry that with you to the other side."

"Yeah, well..." Damon sighs and leans down on his side.

His legs hang off of the edge of the bed, and his eyes shut slowly.

"That's all I've got." he murmurs. "That...And three...Bites..From a damn hybrid..."

"Jeremy, help him up, please." Ric says.

Alaric wants to help but he can't, because he's only a ghost.

Jeremy enters the room seconds later and helps Damon to sit upwards. He drags his body up and settles him down against the pillows that he'd previously rested in, placing him in the positions he'd been lying in hours earlier. Damon shoves Jeremy's hand away and begins to cough, he bends over the side of the bed and coughs fiercely and repeatedly, and when he wipes his mouth he leaves a trail of blood behind.

Alaric casts a look over the blood before he turns to Jeremy, nodding slightly, indicating that there are still things he has to say to Damon if this is it.

"He's sitting next to you, Damon." Jeremy says, taking a step towards the doorway but not leaving the room.

"Who'd have thought this would be how it ends..." Damon coughs again, more blood spilling down his cheek. "Knew I was screwed when you left.."

Alaric laughs. "You were always going to be screwed without me. Who else would you drink with?"

"You were always going to be screwed without me," Jeremy repeats, "Who else would you drink with?"

Damon half smiles weakly, before his heavy eyelids shut and he releases a heavy and long held breath of air.

"Ric..." he starts weakly, several seconds later.

"Yes, Damon?" Ric answers.

Jeremy conveys his response. "Yes, Damon?"

"Will you try to hang around..." he coughs again. "For a little while."

"I'll stay for as long as I can." Ric smiles.

"_I'll stay for as long as I can."_

* * *

Klaus appears at the doorway seconds after she'd knocked upon it, with a smug smile on his lips. He casts a quick look over her before he opens the door for her, Johanna enters seconds later without a word.

"You returned to me as I said you would," Klaus states, closing the door behind her. "So you do care."

She turns towards him quickly, with the empty glass vial in her hands.

"Fill it." she says simply.

He takes a step in her direction. "And you'll... what?"

She swallows tightly.

"I'll train with you, if that is what you wish for me to do."

"You will be trained, and used as a tool in my means of attaining something that is considered quite valuable to me." Klaus answers. "Then, your usefulness will have expired and you will be free to leave and do whatever it is you wish to do."

"What will this training involve?"

"It's quite simple, Johanna. It will involve everything that Damon Salvatore's training of you involved, with only one small addition." he answers.

"And what is this addition?" she crosses her arms.

"You will kill vampires."

It takes her several seconds to answer, and when she does her voice is significantly softer.

"You'll give me the cure, if I accept this?"

Klaus nods at her. "Yes."

"How do I know you won't have Damon attacked again?" she asks, "That you won't infect him with the bite of the werewolf once I've accepted your offer?"

"You have my word." he answers.

"Should that mean something to me?" she quickly replies. "I don't know you, so I certainly don't know if you are true to your word or if your word should mean anything."

His smile vanishes. "If I am anything, I am a man who has and always will be true to my word. You have it, however little it means to you, it is yours. Are you willing to accept these terms, Johanna?"

"I want assurance."

"For what?" he asks.

"That you will leave Jeremy Gilbert alone." she holds his firm gaze.

"I-" Klaus begins.

"You only need one hunter, to get what you desire, don't you?"

"Yes, although having an extra hunter does create a sense of security." he answers coolly.

"I want your word that you will leave Jeremy out of this."

He considers her words, but quickly decides that he cannot give her his word entirely.

"I will leave Jeremy Gilbert out of this arrangement only while you are alive. If by chance you die, then he will take your place." Klaus informs her.

"Okay."

"Do you accept these terms?"

She pauses.

"Do you?"

"I do." he takes another step towards her.

"Do we have an agreement, Johanna?"

Klaus extends his hand to her, the smile returning to his face.

Her eyes flicker down to his hand, and she pauses for a second before she slowly lifts her hand to his and takes it, shaking it briefly.

"Yes, we have an agreement."

Klaus smiles, before he extends his hand and waits for her to place the vial in it. He tears at his wrist with his fangs which appear in seconds, causing the skin to bleed and drip to the floor. He holds his wrist above the vial and allows it to fill entirely, before he drops his wrist to his side and holds the bloody vial out towards her.

"You have one day, until I will call on you." he answers. "That is all."

* * *

Alaric joins Jeremy downstairs where he stands, trying to redial Johanna's number.

"Did you get in contact with her?" Alaric asks.

"I called her, but she hasn't picked up."

Alaric exhales and shuts his eyes briefly, rubbing at his forehead as he does.

Jeremy puts his phone down and turns towards Alaric.

"Do you still think it's a good idea to keep Elena out of this?" Jeremy asks. "She keeps calling me. It's only a matter of time until she sees through my lies, and comes over here."

"Go home." Alaric suggests.

Jeremy's frown deepens. "What?"

"Go to the Boarding House, sit with her. Sleep. You don't have to be here."

"You won't-" Jeremy begins.

"I'll exist here, even with you gone," Alaric says softly. "He just won't be able to hear me, or see me..."

Jeremy shifts slightly.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Ric?"

Alaric nods and exhales loudly again.

"Just...Come upstairs with me one more time."

Jeremy follows the familiar pathway upstairs, and enters the room to find Damon's body soaking with sweat. He doesn't glance up towards the doorway, but instead continues weakly staring out of the window.

An hour has passed since Alaric's arrival, and Damon's condition has continued to rapidly deteriorate. He's had several hallucinations in the past thirty minutes alone, but now he has fallen back to his bed and doesn't appear to have the will or strength to stand from it.

"Tell Damon that I'm here, that I'm right by his side and I'm not leaving." Alaric says.

"Ric said that he's here, that he's going to stay right by your side." Jeremy announces. "He's not leaving."

Damon he murmurs a low response which they barely catch.

"Good."

Jeremy casts one last look over Damon before he turns towards Ric, who nods at him briefly. Alaric steps towards Damon's bedside and positions himself down beside Damon on the empty space of bed.

After exiting the room Jeremy shuts the door and moves downstairs slowly, silently hoping that there was some way that Johanna might be able to recover the cure and save Damon's life – a thought that he'd never previously believe he would ever have.

"You still here..." Damon starts, pausing so he may run his tongue over his dry lips.

"You can't answer that...Can you?" he asks. "Or this..."

"Yes, I can, Damon." Ric answers, his words go unheard as they always do. "You just can't hear it because I'm not real. Not anymore."

"Thanks, Ric..." Damon coughs again. "I know...I know I've done some crap things. I made a lot of bad choices, wrong ones, that dragged me down here again..I deserve this, but er...I never deserved you, or anyone else. Not even my own brother. He was always better than me, I knew it...You all were."

Alaric sadly smiles at his best friend.

"I messed up. It's what I do." he sighs. "Just..I never said it, and I should have. I'm sorry. For it all. I hurt you, and killed you...I turned your wife, killed you _a lot _of times. I killed your sister too, a lot. And I was...Hateful. I'm sorry. You all deserved better."

Damon's eyes flicker up towards Ric, without knowing he has done so. Damon looks into emptiness and darkness, while Ric looks into fading pools of blue glistening with past mistakes and present pain.

"You've done a lot of things, Damon." Ric answers quietly, despite that he knows his words will pass unheard. "But you deserved better than this."

"There's something you need to know, Ric."

"What is it, Damon?"

"You need to know that I was wrong. Earlier, when I said I was doing what was best for you...It was what I thought was best. I know it wasn't. I know that I was wrong, and I'm sorry. It was wrong to send her away, to make you forget, and I'm so sorry. I...I deserve this. To die alone, in pain...Talking to a ghost...This is what I deserve."

* * *

On the drive back to the lake house, when she is only several minutes away, a familiar car driving in her direction catches Johanna's attention and she pulls off to the side of the road. The driver catches sight of her, and also pulls over. She jumps out of the car quickly, ignoring the rain, and runs over towards Jeremy's truck. When she reaches it he opens the door but she refuses to get in.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, are you?" she replies.

"Yeah, I just came back from..." he starts.

"How's Damon?"

She calls out through the heavy rain.

"Not good," he answers honestly. "Did you get it?"

Johanna nods, her entire body shaking from the chilling rain.

"I got it." she answers.

Jeremy breathes out with relief, and even smiles. Now he can return to the Boarding house and not have to tell Elena about any of this. Damon can tell her about it when he's ready, if he ever wants to.

"How?" Jeremy asks.

"That doesn't matter," she shakes her head. "Not right now, anyway."

"Go." he says. "I'll see you later."

She nods quickly before she slams the door shut and returns to her car. Johanna slides in, quickly dries herself with a blanket from the backseat and restarts the engine.

The drive towards the lake house seems to be a slow one for Johanna, despite that she drives quickly towards it. Once she is on the familiar path towards the house itself she drives faster. The moment that the house comes into sight she pulls the car to a stop, reaches for the vial, and jumps out of her car slamming the door shut behind her. She runs quickly towards the front door of the house, finding that is has been locked.

Her eyes shut and she silently curses herself for not bringing a key. She figures that Jeremy must have locked up, to keep Damon inside. She moves around to the other doors, but they're all locked too.

Only a few seconds pass before she picks up a rock and smashes the glass away from the front door. She manages to slip her hand inside and reach for the lock on the door, but she doesn't do this easily and tears her skin in several places on the shards of glass.

Johanna breathes a sigh of relief as she opens the door, shutting it behind her and locking it. She skims over the room for something to place over the hole in the door, but soon decides she can fix it later and instead moves up the stairs. She trips over the third step, but manages to grip onto the railing to prevent herself from falling up or down the stairs again.

"Damon." she calls out, from the staircase. "Damon!"

She moves quickly towards her room, twisting the handle and pushing it open immediately. Johanna finds Damon's body on the floor, slumped over on his side. His body is sweaty, and wet, and his eyes open weakly at the sound of the door behind pushed open.

Damon doesn't think she's real, so he just shuts his eyes again.

Johanna drops to her knees by his side and drags his body upwards, so he's leaning back against the side of the bed. She sets her hands on his cheeks, tapping them until his eyes open.

"Damon. Look at me."

He looks at her, slowly and cautiously, like he's afraid that she's not real, like he's afraid she is real and that she failed.

Her name is a breathless whisper as it escapes his pale, cracked lips.

"Johanna..."

"Here. Let's get up."

Johanna's body shudders from the iciness of the rain, as she slides her arms under his shoulders. She drags his body carefully to the bed, trying to ignore the painful groans that pass his lips with every moment. Finally, she has positioned him back on the bed. She reaches for the damp cloth and wipes away the sweat from his forehead.

"Don't try to move too much."

Damon does exactly that. He tries to sit up, but a loud groan passes his lips and he's pushed back down when her hand presses against his chest.

"Don't try to move." she repeats. "You're not well."

He knows now, as he feels her hand against his skin, that she's real because he couldn't feel his other hallucinations. He could only hear their voices and their words, but he can feel her here with him.

"You're here."

"I'm here." she says.

He could almost smile, if it weren't for the excruciating pain.

"You're real?"

"I am, and I got it. I got the cure, Damon. You're gonna be okay."

Disbelief runs down his face.

"What?!"

Damon breaks out in a wide smile. "You...You got it?"

"I got it." she smiles. "You're going to be fine."

"How?" he frowns slightly. "How..."

"It doesn't matter, what matters is you're going to be fine."

He leans away from her and begins to cough harshly, causing his entire body to shake with pain. Damon coughs blood all over the floor, and his hands. She moves to his side and helps him to sit up again. Allowing him to lean against her, she wipes the blood away from his face.

"Here," she removes the lid of the vial. "Drink it. Quickly."

Johanna presses the vial to his lips, pausing briefly before she tilts it backwards and allows some of the contents to slowly flow through his lips, down his tongue and into his mouth. After Damon has swallowed the cure he sets his head back against her body and shuts his eyes. He falls against her, feeling comfortable here.

"You saved me."

His eyes feel heavy, so he closes them.

"No, I was just-"

She falls silent when he begins to speak again.

"If it wasn't for you, I would have died..."

"It's over now, it's okay."

She runs her hands through his hair, brushing it back off his face.

"But it's not okay...It's not."

Exhaustion lingers over him, it wants to take him to rest but he fights it like he's afraid he won't wake from it.

"You're tired," she says, "Rest."

Johanna slides out from beneath him and places his body against the bed. He feels the blankets being pulled up over his body, and he can't fight it. Damon doesn't protest because he can't deny that he is beyond exhaustion. The cure will heal him, but it won't return his strength immediately.

"I messed up..."

She speaks over him quietly, as he feels himself slowly falling into sleep.

"It's okay, Damon. Rest, please. You need it."

Seconds later the sound of Jeremy's voice downstairs drags her attention away from Damon. She moves quickly down the stairs, finding Jeremy at the bottom of the staircase. A slight frown rests on his face but he doesn't say anything.

"What are you doing back here, Jeremy?" she asks. "I thought you were heading back home?"

"I was, and then he showed up."

"Who?" she crosses her arms over her stomach.

"Ric. He wanted to make sure Damon was okay, and then he wanted to talk to you."

Johanna's entire body stiffens up, but somehow she finds the words to answer.

"Is he here now?"

"Yeah," Jeremy answers. "He's sitting down in there, waiting for us."

"He came here with you?"

"Ric came to me in the car."

"Can you show me where he is?"

"Sure." he nods.

Jeremy leads her slowly in to the parlor, before pointing to the empty space where Alaric stands.

"He's standing right now."

"He can sit - I mean...You can do what you want, but if you want to sit you can."

Alaric half smiles. "I'll sit."

Johanna walks around to couch, next to the armchair, and glances up slowly at Jeremy.

"What's happening? Is he saying anything?"

"I don't want to take up too much of your time. I know, you need to check in on Damon again."

Jeremy repeats this.

She frowns deeper. "You won't be taking up my time."

"Okay." Alaric watches her closely. "Can you tell her...Thank you for saving Damon's life."

"He wants to thank you for saving Damon's life." Jeremy says.

She almost smiles. "Um, yeah...Well, I know he must have meant a lot to you. The way he cares about you..."

Alaric half smiles.

"Could you tell her there are things we need to talk about, and I know now isn't the time but there has to be a time."

"Ric said there are things you two need to talk about, and he knows now isn't the right time but he hopes there will be soon."

"You're right, now probably isn't good because Damon..." Johanna nods slightly.

Alaric continues to smile. "I can see that he needs you."

"He said...He can see that Damon needs you."

Johanna pauses noticeably.

"Oh, no, I wouldn't go that far."

"He does." Ric says.

"Ric said he does."

It takes her a minute to answer.

"I think he just needs someone."

"Damon has a way of getting under your skin, doesn't he?" Alaric says. "One minute you hate him, the next you're drinking buddies."

Jeremy half smiles. "He said that Damon has a way of getting under people's skin, and one minute you hate him then the next you're drinking buddies."

"Yeah, I guess that's true." Johanna answers.

"There's something else. Could you tell her that I'm happy she's found people, especially you and Matt. You three seem close." Alaric says, his voice much softer.

"Ric said he's glad that you, me and Matt are all friends. He said we seem close."

Her smile widens.

"Yeah, they're great."

Ric briefly turns to Jeremy. "You take care of my sister. Won't you?"

"You took care of mine, and of me." Jeremy returns the smile. "Yeah, I will, you have my word."

"Ric?"

"Yeah?" Alaric answers.

Jeremy repeats this.

"The other day when you came, and I left.." she stops, sighing briefly. "I'm sorry. I was unprepared, and Damon..."

"Got under your skin?"

"Got under your skin?" Jeremy says.

She smiles slightly. "Yeah, he's been doing a lot of that lately."

"It's his way of showing he cares."

"Ric said it's his way of showing he cares."

"I'm sorry." Johanna says quietly. "I just wanted you to know that."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

* * *

**A/N: Hi! Here's another update, that I hope you like. Thanks for reading my story, it means a lot to me and I appreciate it. Oh, and in the last author's note I accidentally said that this chapter was one of my all time favourites - I actually meant the next one, haha. Don't get me wrong, I love this one (Ric's back! How could you not love that?) but chapter 27 is...It's kind of a big one..You'll see. I apologise in advance for any spelling errors I may have missed when re-reading this, and if you find any please do let me know. **

**Special thanks to the kind reviewers; ****JoyScott13, Alsynea, Sabine Christensen, SophStratt, ratherbereading125 and lilsis321 :)**

**Enjoy!**

**X**


	27. The darkest fairytale

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

**Soundtrack: In her eyes - Joshua Radin, All you never say - Birdy, She's a sparrow - Matthew Ryan.**

* * *

_I care about you._

Damon wakes to a soft, calm sunlight that streams through the glass windows and down on the bed he rests in. His eyes open slowly, and it takes him a few minutes to readjust to the bright light.

He rolls over off his side, and on his back. Releasing a small sigh, his eyes skim the room and soon settle upon a familiar figure in the corner of the room. He finds Johanna resting in a small chair, her head leans back against the wall gently. Her eyes are closed, and her chest rises and falls silent.

For a moment Damon remains entirely silent, his eyes skimming over her slowly.

Blood still stains her wrist, and her clothes are dirty with dry mud. Several long minutes pass while he just watches her. Gratitude fills him, he's so thankful for what she has done when she owed him nothing. She could have left him to die a long, painful, miserable death but instead she chose to save him.

"Morning." she breaks through his thoughts.

"Is it?"

She sits up slowly in the chair, stretching out her legs as she does. Johanna tilts her neck sideways, removing the kinks from it.

"For you it is. It's actually bordering on afternoon." she stands slowly from the chair. "How are you feeling?"

"Significantly better to how I felt hours earlier..."

"Good." she half smiles.

Damon is thrown off by her smile because it's genuine. It's real.

Johanna walks closer to his side, eventually sitting down on the bed next to him. She can feel him watching her as she unwinds the bandage around her wrist, slowly extending her arm to him. He feels a pang of guilt at the simple sight of her scarred wrist.

He did that to her. The wound is torn, and still fresh, and it's already beginning to bleed by the simple removal of the bandage. Yet, she still offers him her blood even after what happened last time.

She sounds tired when she speaks again.

"Just drink it, Damon, please."

He does as she asks, and presses his lips gently against the scarred skin of her wrist. This time it's different, it was always different with her. Damon bites into her skin softly, slowly, digging his teeth in just as far as he needs to the blood will be drawn. He drinks a little before pulling away. Picking up the bloody bandage, he takes his time wrapping it gently around her wrist. He takes care of it gently, before carefully releasing her hand.

Blue eyes are drawn up to her, watching as she turns so she's facing him.

"How did you get the cure? Klaus-"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does." he frowns. "Why did he give it to you, but not to me?"

"We came to an arrangement." her voice falls softer.

"That sounds ominous."

"Don't focus on that, Damon, just focus on being alive."

He pulls himself up, so he's sitting in bed instead of lying down.

"You didn't have to do it."

She nods slightly. "I know that, Damon. And, just so we're clear, me doing this doesn't mean that you owe me anything because you don't."

"I know that."

Damon slowly swings his legs off the side of the bed.

"Good." Johanna answers.

Silence passes as Damon shifts, so he's sitting next to her. His eyes are drawn up to her again, and he notices that she's almost avoiding his gaze.

"Why did you? Do it, I mean..."

Her eyes focus on the light that seeps through the crack under the door, slipping silently and softly in the room.

"Because, I said...You're not all bad. And there are people who care about you."

He lifts an eyebrow. "Like..."

"Like Stefan and Elena." she exhales, turning to face him slowly. "And as much as I think he'd deny it, Jeremy too."

Damon smirks.

"The number of people who want me dead far outweighs those who care."

His eyes linger on her a little longer than he'd intended to, and the next words pass his lips freely, like he doesn't have to think about them.

"Which one are you?"

Confusion darts over her face.

"What?"

Damon smile falters noticeably when the understanding fills her eyes. He's asking her if she wants him dead, or if she cares about him.

Johanna exhales nervously, rubbing her hands on her pants before clasping them tightly together.

"Well?" he continues to watch her.

"I think..." she quietly says. "In some ways, it's a little bit of both but...It could be leaning a little towards one side."

The smile that had rested on his face disappears, like he hadn't expected that to be her answer.

"And what is that?"

There's a surprising vulnerability to his voice this time.

"I recovered the cure for you, Damon. Doesn't that say enough? Do you need me to say it to you?" she half smiles.

He continues to watch her with such intensity as leans in slowly, so he's closer to her.

"Fine." she sighs, breathing out slowly. "As much as I thought I wouldn't, and that it was impossible, there is a part of me that cares..A little bit..About you."

Damon's eyes skim over her briefly, before he ducks his head and drops his eyes to her lips. Pausing for an obvious second, his eyes are drawn back to hers and he finds that she's already watching him.

The smile lingers on her face when he places his hand against her right cheek. She doesn't pull away or flinch at the touch, instead she continues to smile.

Before she can say a word, Damon leans in and presses a kiss to her lips.

The kiss is soft and tentative at first, but soon grows with a newly found warmth and passion. Every second that passes him, he expects her to break away but she doesn't. She takes him by surprise and kisses him back. Her hands slide up his neck, and the kiss becomes sweeter.

His hands fall to her waist gently, almost uncertainly. Johanna pulls back, exhaling loudly. Damon's chest heaves in and out, while he lifts his hand to her face to brush the hair away.

"Damon..."

"I'm surprised you didn't slap me." Damon smiles almost nervously.

Johanna smiles nervously too. "Me too."

She draws in a small breath of air, before she kisses Damon lightly on the lips.

"Damon, I have to..."

He leans back and observes her closely. "Your wrist, I know. You have to clean it up before it gets infected."

"And you need a shower."

"Mm. Subtle hint."

"It's not a hint, I'm telling you that you need one."

"What, so you save my life and suddenly that gives you the right to boss me around?" he teases.

"Only for a day." she stands from the bed.

The smile remains on her face, even after he catches her hand and observes her carefully. Johanna pulls him up from the bed, feeling closer to him now as he leans down over her. He holds her hand still, uncertainty filling both of their eyes.

"I don't know what...Shifted here, with us."

Damon continues to hold her hand, not moving from her side.

"I know what shifted." he starts off quietly, his grip on her hand tightening a little. "You saw me with my shirt off and couldn't resist."

She rolls her eyes, and shoves him towards the door. "Go, have a shower."

"Okay, since we're throwing out subtle hints.. You need a shower too. You smell, and you're covered in blood."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thanks, for telling me the truth." her grin widens. "I appreciate it."

Damon casts one last look at her, the smile still playing on his lip, before he turns his back on her and walks slowly down the hallway and to the room he'd been occupying in his stay. He falters in the hallway, turning back briefly to find her walking towards the bathroom.

His heart is telling him to go back inside, but his mind is pushing him to the bedroom. He's torn, and eventually he steps inside his room.

She exhales once inside the bathroom, leaning back against the door and closing her eyes she thinks of a thousand thoughts. A million different things.

Her heart beats a little heavier in her chest, and she can't stop the smile that rests on her face. It felt good when they kissed. It showed her the truth. The feelings that had been lingering in the past weeks weren't nothing, they were real.

Johanna doesn't know what changed, or what that was, but it was something.

She strips out of her dirty clothes and has a warm shower, before changing into a pair of brown tights and a white, shirt with short sleeves. Going downstairs quickly, she finds a broom and returns upstairs to sweep up the shattered fragments on the floor. Johanna takes care of them, before changing the blankets on the bed and placing fresh ones down.

Upstairs, Damon lets the warm water from the shower run down his back. He stands beneath it, scrubbing at his hair and running his hands through it.

He finds himself thinking of her again, and when he realizes that he isn't thinking of Elena more confusion falls over him. His eyes shut, and he breathes out loudly. Damon has no idea what just happened, or why, but it happened and he can't deny his feelings when they're so powerful.

Once he has showered and changed, Damon ventures downstairs and finds Johanna in the kitchen. Her hair is wet and curled, and she's sitting at the table bandaging the wound on her wrist. The wound he inflicted on her.

More feelings that he doesn't understand sweep over him, and he's completely silent until she looks up at him. She smiles at him, before continuing to apply ointment to the cuts on her wrist.

"You look and smell much better."

"Mm." Damon responds quietly. "I could say the same thing to you."

Confusion returns to her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

Damon takes a small step closer. "Fine, I should go and tell Matt and Jeremy that training's back on."

"Sure." she stands from the chair.

Johanna picks up the first aid kit, packs it away and then returns to find Damon still lingering like he's almost waiting for her to say something, or like he's trying to find the right words to say something.

"Damon.."

"You should start by doing a lap around the house. I'll be back by then."

She nods, tying her hair back. "Okay, if that's what you want."

He hesitates. "It is."

"Alright." she smiles, moving to the staircase. "See you when you get back."

Damon lingers in the doorway for a second, before he turns his back on her and walks out of the cabin. Johanna walks up the stairs slowly, pausing on the third step she sets her back against the wall and briefly closes her eyes for a moment. Looking down at her hands slowly, she suddenly realizes what's missing. Her rings.

A brief moment of panic sets in, and she runs upstairs. Bursting in the room, she rushes to the bathroom and feels relief sweep over her at the sight of her rings resting on the sink. She picks up the one she was worried the most about. The silver one, with the small stone.

Walking back to the toilet, she shuts the lid and sits down on top of it. The ring rests firmly in her hand, and she examines it slowly feeling like a lifetime has passed since she first wore it.

Just like that, Damon has left her questioning all that she thought she knew about herself. He has her questioning her life, her thoughts and even her feelings. Just like that, he's gone.

Five long laps around the house pass her slowly, and when she finally returns to the house with adrenaline pumping through her body there's still no sign of anyone. She walks in inside, pours herself a glass of water and tries to call Jeremy and Matt. They don't answer.

She considers calling Damon, but realizes that she doesn't have his number. Sighing briefly, she scoops her car keys up and walks out to her car.

Damon told her he'd be back soon, and the fact that he had been absent for such a long time leaves her with an unsettled feeling. The last time he was absent this long was when Kol took him. Johanna can't deny that she feels concerned about his absence, as well as Matt and Jeremy's.

She drives to Mystic Falls at a steady pace, turning off at the path to the Salvatore House. Outside she finds Damon's car parked, but no sign of any one else's car.

After parking her car, she walks up to the front door and knocks on it. She receives no answer, but when she tries the handle she finds that it's unlocked. Pushing the door open leaves her with another, strange feeling. A haze hangs around her, and for a moment she is left in complete silence.

"Hello?" she calls out.

No voices return, so she ventures down the small set of stairs and into the parlor. The fireplace has recently been lit, and an empty glass rests on top of it. She catches sight of something strange on the floor, to the right of the fireplace. A shirt, thrown to the floor, now rests in a crumpled ball. Upon closer inspection, Johanna soon recognizes the shirt as the one Damon was wearing when she last saw him.

"Johanna?"

Damon's voice startles her and she spins around, finding him standing on the bottom of the staircase with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is wet, his chest is bare, and the wounds that had marked his skin have almost faded away.

She doesn't understand until she looks in his eyes, soon realizing that she's intruded on _something_.

"What are you doing here?"

He almost looks guilty.

The silence becomes more tense with each passing second.

"Uh, I was..." she scratches at her forehead, trying to avoid his gaze. "Looking for Matt, and Jeremy."

"You just missed them, they aren't here."

"I, er..." she begins to move speedily towards the door.

He doesn't try to stop her.

"I'm sorry, I should be leaving."

Damon watches silently as she steps through the front door, slamming it shut behind her. His eyes linger on the door, before he turns slowly and returns upstairs.

On her return to the lake house Johanna finds Matt and Jeremy outside, sparring with each other. They greet her warmly and she returns the smile, but on the inside she can't help thinking about what tomorrow will bring.

She made a deal with Klaus, a deal that she can't back out on, and this has ultimately torn her from the two people that have shown her constant kindness and care. Johanna feels at ease when she's with them, at home with them, and trusts them more than she's trusted anyone in years.

"You ready to get your butt's kicked?" she grins.

When she's around them she feels better, even if it's only temporary, even if it isn't real she still feels it. They help her forget about her past, her present, and everything that those two involves. Including Damon Salvatore.

She exhales and watches them.

Matt turns to her and grins. "Yeah, you better be."

Johanna joins their side eventually, waiting until Jeremy has finished training with Matt for her to join him. She takes his place, while Matt picks up the bag and lets her take her frustration out on it. Then Damon shows up, announced and already sounding annoyed.

"Jeremy, Matt, pair up." he calls out.

Johanna turns to him. "I'm okay doing this."

Damon frowns slightly. "Did you not here me? I said, Jeremy and Matt pair up."

She swallows tightly, standing firm against him. "And I said that I was okay doing this."

"It wasn't a question." he crosses his arms. "Move, now."

"Damon, it's fine. I don't mind-" Jeremy begins.

"I wasn't asking you, little Gilbert. You and the quarterback have been slacking off lately, so get to it."

"Okay. Here, you two spar." Johanna steps away.

Matt shoots her a brief look, before returning his attention to Jeremy who soon takes her place. Johanna begins walking towards Damon, but before reaching him she turns slightly and begins breaking out into a light jog.

"What do you think you're doing?" he moves speedily.

Seconds later he stands in front of her, arms crossed, with an unimpressed expression on his face.

"I'm going for a run." she moves to step away from him.

He blocks her path.

"No, you're training here."

"I'm going for a run, Damon."

She darts past him speedily and breaks out into a faster run, moving further away with each passing second before eventually she almost disappears from his sight.

Damon turns back to Matt and Jeremy, finding that they both have their eyes firmly settled on him.

"What?" he snaps. "Get back to it."

Johanna follows a different path today, moving forward further instead of looping back around to the house. She jumps out on the path that the cars can take, and decides to take that. She stops abruptly when she is almost hit by a car. Backing away immediately, her heart pounds in her chest while her eyes search for the driver.

Rebekah gets out of the car quickly.

"What the hell were you doing?" she almost shouts. "I could have killed you!"

"Weren't you watching the road?" Johanna shouts back. "You could have-"

"Oh, right." Rebekah cuts across her. "I forgot, you can't die...Well, I could have seriously injured you."

"What are you doing here?"

Johanna steps towards her slowly.

"You and I have to talk." Rebekah replies quickly. "Are you alone here?"

Johanna shakes her head.

"Matt, Jeremy and Damon are here."

"Great," Rebekah murmurs. "The whole gang. Why don't we go for a drive?"

Johanna pauses. "What do you want to talk about?"

"It's serious, Johanna. And I don't want to be interrupted, so please get in the car." Rebekah answers, returning to her seat.

After a moment of careful consideration Johanna slides into the passenger seat of the car, shutting the door and turning to Rebekah.

"We need to get away from here first." Rebekah states. "Then, we can talk."

The drive only lasts for a few short minutes, until Rebekah is certain that they won't be interrupted. She pulls up into a secluded, empty field and slides out of the car. Johanna quickly follows after her, determined to know what this is about.

"What is this about, Rebekah? Why are we here?"

"I heard you made a deal with Nik." Rebekah turns slowly to her. "Is that true?"

"Is that what this is about?"

"You're making a big mistake, Johanna." Rebekah inches closer. "You are. Nik is – he's incredibly selfish when it comes to what he wants and what he needs. He will use you, and be done with you and you will be left broken and hurt at the end."

A deeper frown crosses her face. "Thanks for you concern, but this has nothing to do with you."

Rebekah fights the words that form in her mind.

It has everything to do with her.

"So, what, you asked me to come here to tell me your brother was going to use me?" she asks.

"Yes," Rebekah answers. "You don't have to-"

"But, I do." she replies quickly. "As much as I'd rather not, we had a deal. I chose this, and I have to deal with the consequences."

"But you don't need him! You don't have to do this. I can help you, Johanna. We can help each other." Rebekah almost pleads, desperation filling her eyes. "Please, don't do this."

"Help each other with what?" Johanna frowns. "I don't understand why I am continually told that I can be helped...With what? To do what? Why is there so much secrecy in this town?"

"That doesn't matter now-"

"Then, what does? Please, tell me what matters, Rebekah?"

"Your life, that's what matters." Rebekah shouts. "It matters to me."

Johanna halts noticeably, uncertainty filling her eyes.

"There. I said it." Rebekah sighs and crosses her arms. "I don't think you should do this."

"I don't understand..." she quietly begins.

"What about it is so bloody difficult to understand?" Rebekah asks, moving closer. "You are the only person who has shown me constant kindness, who hasn't betrayed me and placed a dagger in my back. _You_ pulled the dagger out of my chest. _You_ are the only one who has not turned their back on me in this town. So, yes, your life matters to me because you are my friend, Johanna, and it seems to me like you don't have many friends either so if I were you I'd take any I could get."

A small smile flickers on Johanna's face.

"Your concern is really touching, Rebekah. And...You're right. We are friends, I like you and you've shown me kindness when you could have killed me. But, I'm sorry, I have to stick to this deal because I gave my word. As my friend, I hope that you'll understand that and support me."

* * *

The afternoon sky has begun to set around the lake when Johanna returns. The water appears calm, and still, and she fights the nearly overpowering urge to dive beneath it and allow the coolness of the waves to soothe her body and mind. After taking a moment to observe the water, she moves to the house and walks quickly up the stairs.

Damon's voice behind her brings her to an instant halt.

"What have you been?"

She turns around slowly, finding him standing at the bottom of the stairs. He wears an unimpressed expression on his face, mixed with something else she can't quite read.

"Running."

With that, she turns her back to him and moves to step inside. By the time she spins around to face the door Damon's already standing in front of her. The sudden sight causes her to jump back slightly.

"Damon." a small sigh passes through her lips. "What are you doing?"

"Where were you?"

"Running."

"Where? You weren't here." he folds his arms.

She frowns. "How do you even know that?"

"I'm a vampire." Damon shrugs effortlessly. "I know everything."

"No, you don't."

Johanna tries to step past him but fails, as he moves and effectively blocks her path.

"What do you want, Damon?"

"No, I think that the more appropriate question is what do you want from me?" he cocks his head to the right.

"What are you talking about?"

"The whole teenage angst crap that you gave me earlier today. Why wouldn't you train with me?" he steps closer.

She instinctively takes a step back. "That doesn't matter. Can't you just let me inside?"

"I thought you were done with that crap."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Damon, and I don't really have the time for this."

His deep blue eyes remain hardened and set firmly on her. "You don't have to answer my question, because I know exactly what you want."

"Go on." she crosses her arms. "Tell me."

It's almost like Damon can't stop the words as they pass his lips freely. He doesn't want to say this, he doesn't want to push her away like this, but the words just happen.

"You want me to believe that I owe you something, right? You think I do, because you saved my life. You think that I care about your cute little words, about how a part of you cares? You want me to care back, don't you? Caring is a weakness, and you're weak enough as it is."

"Why are you saying this?" her words catch in her throat. "Why are you treating me like this? You're shutting-"

"Shutting you out?" he snaps back. "No, you're wrong, I'm not doing that because to shut you out I'd have to let you in. If it's okay with you, I'd like to forget that this whole thing happened."

"Okay, Damon." she gives in. "If that's what you want, it's already forgotten."

A frown falls over his face when she leaves him in the silence, wanting more but not being able to admit it.

Johanna moves upstairs to her room, shutting and locking the door after she's inside. Her eyes skim over the room before she begins to pack up her belongings. She folds clothes and puts them away in bags, and packs away any unnecessary items. Once she has finished, she places her bags back in the corner of the room and walks inside the bathroom. Counting the rings first, checking that they're all in place, she slides them and stands in the silence.

Her eyes shut and she focuses on her breathing, trying to stop the fear that seeps in. Tonight is her last night here, with the people she cares about. She needs to forget, even if only for the night, about what tomorrow will hold and how it will mean leaving these people. Johanna moves down the staircase quickly, not wanting to waste any more time.

She finds Jeremy in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of juice.

"Hey."

He turns around and smiles. "Hey. You want some?"

"I'm good." Johanna shakes her head.

"Yeah?" he puts the juice away, before turning back to her. "You were gone for a while today. Everything okay?"

"Honestly?"

He nods slightly, walking a little closer.

"I think I just need a night..."

"Of what?" he asks, clear concern in his eyes.

Johanna scratches at the back of her neck. "Just a normal night, if that makes any sense.."

"Sadly, there aren't many normal nights in this town for us...But I think I know what you need."

"Yeah?" she looks up, almost smiling. "You do?"

"Hey, what are you two talking about?" Matt steps inside, a smile on his face.

"A normal night." Jeremy says.

Matt's grin widens. "Sounds good to me. What were you thinking?"

"Maybe, a night at the Grill." Jeremy glances between the two. "There's pool, darts, and the food is pretty good."

Johanna hesitates, and they both pick up on this immediately.

"Um..I was actually thinking a night here. Pizza, x-box, beer.."

"That sounds great." Matt smiles. "I'll grab the beer."

"Yeah." Jeremy agrees, still smiling.

Johanna's gaze briefly shifts outside, and she soon catches sight of Damon walking slowly towards the lake house. She pauses, drawing in a sharp breath of air before she turns back to the two of them.

"I'll come with you to get the beer, Matt. We can take your car, if you like."

"Sure." he nods. "Let's go?"

"And to where exactly do you think you're going?" Damon asks, stepping casually inside the doorway.

Matt casts a look over him before he swipes his car keys from the table. "Out."

"Ooh." Damon sighs. "Vague and filled with teenage angst. I just love my job."

"To get beer and food." Matt says.

"Why?"

Jeremy sighs. "We're having a night in."

Matt walks to the doorway, Johanna following closely behind. They pause when they catch Damon's voice.

"You're kidding, right?" Damon snaps. "Training is still on tomorrow. Early. I don't want you all to have hangovers."

"It's our choice." Johanna suddenly stops him. "Not yours."

Damon falters. "Fine, if it's what you want."

She nods, turning away and moving out of the door. Matt follows quickly behind her, and they walk in silence towards his truck. Seconds after they are inside, and the car has been started, silence disappears and a comfortable chatter takes its place.

"You okay?" he chucks her a side glance.

"Yeah." Johanna turns to him. "Just, uh...You don't have to feel obliged to stay in tonight, if you and Jeremy want-"

"Whoa, whoa." Matt stops her. "Trust me when I say we aren't doing this because we feel obliged. It's gonna be fun."

"You sure?" she almost smiles.

"Yeah!" he grins enthusiastically. "Of course I'm sure. It's gonna be a great night."

* * *

**A/N: Two steps forward for Jamon...Ten steps back?**

**Another, new chapter. :) I hope you like reading it as much as I enjoyed reading it. Oh, and just so you guys aren't mad (About Johanna walking in on Damon and Elena) well _that_ didn't happen. I wanted you guys to find out late that Damon and Elena didn't do anything, and Damon was just having a second shower, BUT then I didn't want you be mad...So, I hope you enjoy this anyway..Team Human Bonding next chapter!**

**I apologise in advance for any spelling errors I missed, please let me know if you find any. Okay, thanks!**

**Special thanks to the kind reviewers of this story; lilsis321, Alsynea, Carla Krushnic, SophStratt, Julia, JoyScott13 and Guest :D**

**Guest reviews:**

**Julia 10/1/13 . chapter 26: **Dear, Julia! Thank you so much for reading my story, I appreciate it so much and I'm really happy you are still enjoying it so much. I love writing Ric, so you can expect to see him a few more times. I know, I miss him too! Jo is headed down a darker road, which is almost a guarantee when dealing with Klaus. You'll have to wait and see what I mean in future chapters. Wow, thank you so much. You're too kind. :) xoxo Enjoy this new one!

**Guest 10/1/13 . chapter 26: **WOW. This review was seriously so amazing to read. I don't even know how to thank you for it. I am so flattered (and happy) that this is your favourite TVD fanfiction :D I can't stop smiling. Thank you, you have no idea what this meant to me. I'm really happy you're liking the character development, and it's a relief that you don't think it's too fast or too slow :) I'm so happy you adore the story, and I promise to continue with it for a very long time (I have SO many things planned) Honestly, this review was incredible and really boosted my confidence in this story. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review it, it means a lot to me. Oh, that's great to read! I'm happy that my story has successfully shown the vulnerable side while also showing the hard ass side. Thank you, again! I hope you enjoy this new chapter xxxx

**Thanks & enjoy :)**

**xx**


	28. Cold light of truth

******Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

******Soundtrack: Mumford & Sons - Hold on to what you believe, Birdy - I'll never forget you, Johnny Cash - Hurt.**

* * *

_I'm not a hero. I don't do good.  
It's not in me._

The night falls over them slowly, becoming colder with each passing second and forcing them to find refuge in thick clothing and warm blankets.

Jeremy slides on the couch first, shifting until he's comfortable. Johanna joins him seconds later, sliding down next to him, and then Matt takes his place beside her squashing her in between the two of them. They squeeze on to the couch directly opposite the television screen. Bowls and bags of food and snacks are set out on the table in front of them, beer bottles rest in their hands and on the tables.

The grin that comes to her face is natural. "Prepare to have your butt kicked again."

Matt shoots her a look, the smile on his face widening. "So you keep saying! You know, you're really not as good as you think you are."

"Oh, really?" she almost laughs.

He stays firm, despite the grin that widens with each passing second. "Really."

She hits him playfully in the shoulder. "Shut up and pass me the controller."

Jeremy snatches the controller from Matt, passing it to Johanna. He receives a look of shock from Matt.

"Bro, what are you doing?" Matt asks, blinking quickly.

"You can go next round." Jeremy smiles. "We gotta take her down, and come on..We know I'm our best shot."

"I'm gonna take you both down now." Matt beams, swallowing a mouthful of his drink. "You wait and see."

"Yeah, yeah." Johanna curls her feet up on the couch. "Whatever you say."

A few minutes after Johanna and Jeremy have begun to get into their game, Matt speaks up.

"So, is this what you wanted, Jo?"

Johanna shoots him a side glance, keeping her eyes and most of her concentration on the screen.

She rapidly presses the control bottoms. "What do you mean? Is this your attempt to throw me off?"

"No." he smiles. "I just meant, is this the night you wanted?"

"Come on." she curses at the screen, swerving the controller.

"Come on!" Jeremy sits up straight, the smile on his face widening.

"Ohhh!" she calls out seconds later. "Oh, come on. No."

Jeremy wins this round.

She dramatically drops her head down against Matt's shoulder, settling there for a moment before she pulls back and hits him in the shoulder.

"Hey!" he grips his shoulder. "What was that for?"

"You threw me off." she scoops up her beer bottle from the table. "You totally threw me off."

"Whatever excuse you need to use." Jeremy's grin widens, if possible.

"Whatever." she swallows a mouthful of food. "Just hurry up, and lose, so I can kick you asses-"

"You keep saying that but I don't see any ass-kicking happening tonight."

She smiles, turning to Jeremy.

"Keep talking the talk, big J-man. You'll see."

"J-man?" Jeremy bursts out into a little laugh. "Really? J-man?"

"Shut up." she sips on her beer. "Just hurry up and lose already."

"I wasn't trying to throw you off." Matt takes the controller.

Johanna rolls her eyes. "Sure you weren't."

"I wasn't."

"Okay." she puts down her drink. "I know you weren't, and my answer to your question is yes. This is what I was hoping for, and exactly what I needed. Thanks."

Matt shrugs. "No problem. It's what we all need, I think."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." Matt briefly looks at Jeremy, before turning to her. "Sure, what is it?"

"Is this going to be a habit of yours now?"

He frowns. "What?"

"Calling me Jo." she lifts an eyebrow.

"Oh, did I?" Matt frowns slightly. "I didn't notice."

"I noticed."

Jeremy leans in a little. "Yeah, I noticed too. I think it's cool."

Matt shrugs again. "It just happened, I didn't notice. If it's not cool with you.."

"Of course it's cool." she smiles. "I like it."

"You do?"

"Mhm. Now, come on, get the game started. I need to redeem myself after that shocking loss."

Jeremy can't wipe the smile from his face. "Whatever you say, Jo."

* * *

Damon returns to the house in the late evening, finding the lights on the first floor still on. He enters silently, unnoticed by all. He finds the three of them resting on the couch, and for a moment he is silent but eventually his need to spook them wins.

"You'd all be dead if I wasn't a friendly vampire."

Matt almost jumps off the couch.

The three of them spin around immediately, finding Damon with a pleased smile resting on his face.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt _teenager_ time."

There's an obvious bitterness in his voice.

"Please, do continue."

Damon picks up a bottle of whiskey and leaves, leaving them to turn around and focus on the game.

"Don't worry about him." Jeremy eventually says. "He gets into...Damon-moods."

"Yeah," she tries to smile. " I know. I hate Damon-moods. They suck."

"Mostly, he doesn't mean what he says." Jeremy adds.

Matt shrugs carelessly. "Who cares. This is our night, let's get back to it."

The rest of the night passes by too quickly, and before she has any control over it Johanna feels herself slowly falling asleep on the couch. Her head falls down against Matt's shoulder, and soon enough she's sleeping. Matt joins her shortly, leaving Jeremy barely awake. He leaves the two of them as they are, resting against each other, after her pulls a blanket up to cover them.

His feet lead him outside and he finds Damon resting on the porch, his eyes focused on the cold water shining under the moonlight. The whiskey bottle still rests in his hands, and he doesn't bother to turn around.

"What do you want?"

"Why do you have to be such an ass to Johanna?" Jeremy folds his arms.

Damon sighs and turns around, impatience already stricken over his face.

"Just because you're chummy with her doesn't make you better than me. I'm treating her how she should be treated, because we're not here to make friends." Damon counters quickly, without thinking.

Jeremy instantly frowns. "What?"

Then Damon remembers that Jeremy doesn't know that they're using Johanna. He turns away briefly, exhaling loudly and silently cursing himself for making this mistake.

"What are you talking about, Damon?" Jeremy pushes for the truth.

Damon attempts to fix his error.

"You're all here to train so you don't die. That's it. But sure, if you want to be her best friend then go right ahead. Don't expect me to-"

"She saved your life, Damon." Jeremy says loudly. "When she didn't have to. She doesn't owe you anything."

"What, and you think I owe her something?" Damon scoffs. "Then you'd be mistaken."

"Yeah, I think you do." Jeremy nods. "You kept her apart from Ric. You owe her a hell of a lot more than she owes you, and I think you know that. I think that's why you're trying not to like her, because you know what you owe her. You feel guilty. And you know what, Damon? You owe Ric too. You promised him. Your unfinished business was to tell her the truth."

"Well, I'm not dying anymore so screw unfinished business and making amends."

Disbelief darts over his face. "Johanna deserves better than this, better than how you treat her, Damon."

Damon almost rolls his eyes. "Don't expect me."

"I don't expect anything from you but you owe it to Ric-"

"I don't owe Ric anything." Damon bites back. "And I sure as hell don't owe you anything either, so quit searching for something that just isn't there. I don't owe anything to her either."

"She saved your life, Damon. You tried to take hers." Jeremy sighs quietly. "She didn't have to, but she did. Doesn't that mean something to you? Look at it any way that you want, but you owe her something. Give her a thanks, or the truth, or just be nice. But one way or another, she's going to find out what you did. It can come from you or me, but eventually she'll know because she deserves to."

* * *

Johanna wakes to a warm sun, finding herself tucked in her bed. Blankets have been pulled over her body, and she's been tucked in. She frowns slightly, not recalling coming up here, and after a moment of rest she sits up and slides out of the bed. Her feet guide her to Matt's room, and she finds him sleeping soundly in his bed. She checks Jeremy's room next, finding that he is also asleep.

Damon isn't anywhere in sight, and she takes this as he chance to pack. She can't explain to anyone here that she made a deal with Klaus, and that she has to leave them for that. This is the only solution she can find, because she doesn't have it in her to say goodbye. Returning to her room quietly, she changes into a fresh pair of clothes. Brown pants and a tight green shirt.

She picks up her bags from the floor, carrying them silently down to her car and placing them in the back seat. Johanna returns to her room to check that she hasn't left anything behind, and finds that it is clear like she was never here. Empty, like she hadn't spent the last long weeks sleeping in it.

Her heart leads her back to Matt's room, and she finds that he's still resting peacefully. She walks quietly to his side, pausing before she leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead. Then she enters Jeremy's room quietly, pressing a kiss to his forehead too. The staircase creaks a little when she moves down it, but no one rises. The kitchen is silent and empty when she returns to it.

A pile of paper rests on the table, so she picks up a piece and scrawls down a messy note.

Once she has finished, her eyes skim the cabin that she had eventually felt at ease in. Regret swirls in her, because she doesn't want to leave now. Before she knows it, she's in her car starting up the engine. As much as she wants to stay she can't, because if she breaks the deal then she's scared of what Klaus might do to her friends.

Johanna turns her car around and heads down the familiar path, out to the main road. It doesn't take her long to reach Klaus' house. The drive goes quickly, despite her inner reluctance to reach him. She parks the car outside, turns off the engine and shuts her eyes slowly. A sudden, loud tapping on the windows causes her to jump slightly. Instantly, she pulls out the gun from underneath the seat and points it at the window.

Damon stands there, an unimpressed look already on his face.

"What the hell are you doing?"

She sighs and opens the door, hitting him as she does.

"Ow." he says.

Johanna ignores this and stands from her seat, forcing Damon to take several steps back.

"What are you doing here?" his eyes narrow in on her. "Why are you visiting Klaus?"

"How did you know I was here?"

"Come on, I'm a vampire. Do I really have to explain it again?" he sighs. "What are you doing here, Johanna?"

"I made a deal."

"Yeah, yeah. That doesn't explain why you're at his house..."

Suddenly Damon stops.

"What?" she frowns a little.

"What did that deal include, Johanna?"

"In return for the cure I gave my services as a hunter to Klaus." she says quietly.

Damon remains in the silence for a moment as he tries to wrap his head around this.

"Ah, Johanna, it's a pleasure to see you again." Cedric smiles, breaking their silence. "Is there anything you'd like me to carry inside?"

Seconds later, Damon spins around with a vicious look on his face.

"You bit me, you bastard." he lunges forward.

"Lay another hand on me, Salvatore." Cedric shoves him back carelessly. "And I'll bite you again."

Johanna steps in between the two, pressing her hands flat against Damon's chest.

"Stop it, you two. Come on, you don't have to do this, Damon. You don't have to be here. Stop being stupid, or you'll wind up with another bite."

Damon ignores her, and grabs her by the wrists.

"Come on, we're leaving."

"She had a deal with Klaus. Johanna gave her word, she can't simply walk away from it. Shall I still hold you to your word, Johanna?"

"I don't give a damn what _you_ do," Damon drags her to the car. "She's coming with me."

"It's her decision-"

"Like hell it is." Damon snaps back.

"Damon," she struggles. "I can't back out of this."

But Damon doesn't listen because he doesn't want to hear it, he doesn't want it to be happening. If he pretends that it's not happening then it can't be real.

"You can't do this." he turns to her, still frowning. "You shouldn't be here, and you shouldn't be doing this. I can't let this happen."

"Let. Me. Go."

She fights him still.

Damon doesn't let her go, because he can't, not yet.

"You can't stay here. I can't let you go through with this."

Her voice becomes softer. "It's okay, Damon."

Angrily, he releases her arm and looks down at the bruises already marking her skin. Damon swallows tightly, dragging his eyes to hers.

"This is the price I had to pay for the cure." Johanna says quietly. "And I'm okay with it. I don't have another choice. It's not like I can just walk away."

"That's great that you're okay with it, Johanna, but I'm not. You didn't have to do this. You didn't owe me anything! You didn't have to get dragged into this-"

"I didn't want you to die, Damon." her voice is almost a whisper. "This was the only way...What about that don't you understand?"

"All of it." Damon snaps back. "And now you're stuck here because of me."

"I'm here because of the decisions and choices that I've made. I chose to save you. Those choices led me here, not you."

"But I-"

"Damon." she steps significantly closer. "I don't have a choice. I didn't have one-"

"But you had one!" he shouts back. "You could have stayed away from this town. You could have stayed away from me, but you didn't and know you're here..."

Johanna leans in closely, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. His eyes close briefly, reopening only when she pulls away.

"You wanted to forget, didn't you, Damon?"

He hears her voice catch in her throat as she turns away.

"So, forget it all."

Cedric leads the way inside, Johanna trailing quietly behind. She uses everything she has to fight the almost overpowering urge to turn back and see if Damon is behind her. There isn't a way out of this, she's risking Jeremy's life if she runs. She can't do that.

She is lead down a small hallway, to a small room with a fireplace and a dining table. Klaus sits at the table, a smile already resting on his face as she steps through the doorway.

"Johanna." Klaus stands. "You're earlier than I expected. I like that."

"I wanted to get this over with."

"Would you follow me?" Klaus smiles pleasantly.

She nods, not that she really has much choice, and follows Klaus silently down the hallway and towards a small room down the end. Klaus enters first, allowing her to step inside while he holds the door open. The room is small with white walls and brown floorboards.

Few paintings hang off the walls. Her attention is drawn to the four men tied to chairs. Their heads are ducked down like they're unconscious, but she knows better.

"Think of it as a welcoming present." Klaus smiles, turning to her.

"This is some sort of joke, right?"

"Of course not. This is a serious situation, Johanna. When the awake they will be newly turned vampires, and you will kill all of them."

"No." she moves to step away. "I'm not doing this."

Klaus catches her wrist tightly, anger building in his eyes. His eyes are drawn down to the words marking the skin on her right wrist.

_"Vozrozhdeniye..."_ he whispers quietly. "Rebirth. May I ask you something, Johanna?"

He doesn't wait for her answer, and instead continues talking.

"Did you know that rebirth can mean various things? For one, it can mean reincarnation from death. While it also means flourishing or reappearing after a decline. It is a revival. You were...Reborn from your human life, into a hunter. This is who you are now, and you would be a fool to attempt to deny that as it will only drive you further towards what you are."

"Why are you using me-"

Klaus is quick to correct her.

"Using you? I'm not using you, Johanna. I'm hoping you will assist me."

"Our deal still stands."

"Then..." he gestures towards the humans, "You have to kill these vampires, because that was what our deal included. You knew that when you accepted the terms, and it's too late for you to back out now."

"They're..."

"Innocents?" Klaus' grip on her wrist tightens.

The pleasant expression he'd been wearing disappears, and he watches her closely.

"Tell me, please, Johanna. Did you kill vampires when Damon Salvatore instructed you to do so?"

She swallows tightly. "I did what was necessary, what I had to do."

"This is necessary. This is our deal."

"They are innocent humans-"

"No human is entirely innocent." Klaus cuts across her loudly.

"But there are exceptions."

Somehow, Klaus understands who she considers the exceptions to be.

"Hm." Klaus almost smiles, like he's amused.

Johanna frowns. "What?"

He takes a slight step to the side, the smile still playing on his lips.

"I'm terribly sorry that this was how you discovered the truth, perhaps if we had more time I'd say it another way."

"Say what?" her frown deepens. "What happened?"

"They're using you."

"I'm sorry?"

Klaus tilts his head ever so slightly to the right. "You can't be so blinded that you've failed to see it? They've been using you since the beginning."

"Who are you talking about?"

What Klaus needs is a hunter who kills ruthlessly and without emotion. To get this, he needs to drain away her humanity, and remorse, until all that she is left with is bitterness and pain. She can use this to kill vampires easily, and he'll be a step closer to retrieving the cure.

"Your friends." Klaus answers casually. "They led you to believe that they had accepted who and what it is you are, but they have not. They used you to their own advantage."

She shakes her head quickly, a deep, familiar pain surging through her body.

"No, you're lying."

Klaus releases a quiet sigh.

"I have no reason to lie to you, Johanna. They attempted to use and influence you for their own means. Look at yourself, and what you have become. They tried to place restraints on who you were, and what you could do. I want to set you free of those restraints. If you don't believe me, then perhaps I could give you proof. The first vampire you were attacked by in Mystic Falls was a female with dark hair. I compelled her, as I was requested to do so by the Salvatore's. The vampire came to you in an alleyway outside of the establishment known as the Grill, where Damon led you. He observed you as you killed her, and he told me of it. She attacked you first, and you eventually staked her before dragging her body behind the bin. You pulled the stake from your boot."

He observes her as her expression shifts and fades away.

Johanna finds herself almost at a loss for words as it all starts to come together.

"I thought they...They wanted my help to find Silas and kill him."

"No, love. They have no interest in Silas." Klaus answers. "They wanted you for your Hunter's mark, to retrieve the cure for Elena Gilbert to remove her immortality. Now, would I be correct in assuming you felt coerced into training? That Damon Salvatore tried to stop you coming here? Not because he cared but because they needed you for your mark. Just as he needed you at that little bar, to kill the vampires instead of allowing Jeremy Gilbert to. You're a smart girl, Johanna. Piece it together. When you're finished, I'll be outside."

She turns away from Klaus and Cedric, pausing briefly before she walks out into the hallway. Seconds later Klaus appears before her, blocking her path.

"Where do you plan to go? Do you require confirmation of their betrayals?" he asks.

Johanna nods, eventually meeting his cold eyes. "I need to know the truth."

He smiles again. "Go, if you must but you will return to me."

Once inside her car, Johanna needs a moment to steady herself before she starts it up. She tries to think rationally about the situation, or to discover another explanation, but rational thoughts don't come easily to her. She drives quickly to the Gilbert house, banging on the front door repeatedly once she reaches it. Nobody is home, so she drives the lake house. The only person that she sees when her car pulls up outside the house is Matt.

Confusion sweeps over his face as he walks away from his truck, and breaks out into a light jog towards her car. She gets out slowly, slamming the door harshly.

"Hey, Jo." Matt stops when he reaches her.

She grabs him harshly by the collar of his shirt and slams his back against the side of the car. Her body falls against his, and she keeps him pressed against the car.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?" he frowns.

Anger builds in her eyes. "That you were using me? To get the cure for Elena?"

Matt's face drops instantly, giving her the answer his lips don't.

Her breathing becomes heavy and erratic.

"Oh, my god. You knew." she whispers breathlessly. "_You_ knew..."

Complete sadness sinks into her, and she struggles to keep her emotions controlled.

"Jo, I can-I can explain." Matt stutters. "I can explain. Just give me a moment, please."

More anger fills her eyes.

"You can explain?"

Tears slip down her cheeks, and she laughs angrily. "You can explain?!"

"I can." Matt struggles to remain strong. "Please, just let me-"

She hits him in the chest with her hands, that are curled up into fists. "Go on, Matt. Explain it. Explain all of this."

"Jo, just..." Matt tries to soothe her.

"I'm waiting." she hits him in the chest again. "Explain why you lied, and betrayed me. Explain to me why I was so stupid to trust you?! Or-or how you could do this to someone who was...I was your friend, wasn't I? Weren't we friends?"

"Please, just calm down." he nearly begs.

Matt tries to calm her, too ease her pain, by settling his hands on her shoulders. An immense wave of guilt and pain runs over Matt when he takes notice of how sick she looks by his touch.

"Don't." Johanna pulls back instantly. "Don't touch me and don't tell me to calm down."

"Johanna, I can explain." he steps closer, stopping when she moves away. "Look, I was going to tell you. I wanted to, and I tried but it was hard."

"Tell me why."

"Why?" she shouts louder, tears still spilling down. "Don't I deserve to know why?!"

Matt struggles to find words. "I don't-I don't..."

"Just tell me why!" her voice rises.

"Why, what?" Jeremy's voice fills the tension.

Both of their heads snap to the right, and they find Jeremy rushing towards them. Stefan, Damon and Elena follow closely behind with deep looks of confusion resting on their face. Their eyes are settled heavily on the two of them, and the sight they have walked in on.

Matt's face is ridden with guilt, and Johanna's is swirling with betrayal. Tears streak her face, and build in his eyes.

"Is everything okay?" Jeremy asks, still clueless. "You left that note, this morning, and we were worried-"

"Worried?!"

"Is everything okay, Johanna?" Stefan asks quietly.

She feels sick just at the sound of his fake concern.

"Don't." she snaps. "You don't have to pretend any more. You don't have to lie, and pretend, just come out and say it."

Matt looks up slowly, eventually meeting Elena's empty gaze. He nods slowly, and she instantly understands.

Jeremy takes a step closer. "What's going on?"

"What's going on?" Johanna repeats.

She looks back to Matt. "Do you want to tell him, or should I? I mean you-you probably have a better understanding of this then I do, so please..Feel free."

"It's not what you think." Elena says quietly, stepping a little closer. "Please, just let me explain, Johanna."

"Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?" Jeremy exclaims, causing all to fall silence. "You all know something I don't."

"You've all been using me, right? To complete the Hunter's mark, so you can find the cure for Elena's immortality. So, she can become human again."

"It's not what-" Elena begins.

"Wait." Jeremy speaks up. "I thought you were training her to help her."

"Why don't you go inside, Jeremy?" Stefan suggests.

Jeremy shakes his head. "No."

Elena breathes out shakily. "Jer, we didn't-"

"Think I'd find out, did you?" Johanna asks. "You didn't think it mattered that you were screwing with another person's life? That you were- you were using them to do things, and kill people..."

"Oh, come on." Damon sighs. "It's not like your life wasn't screwed up before."

"Jo." Matt reaches out.

"Don't." she takes another step away. "Don't call me that, and don't try to justify this and what you did."

Damon speaks first. "We needed this."

"So, that makes it okay? Because you needed it, it was okay to lie this whole time and betray and..." she stops suddenly, lifting her hands to her forehead. "God. I feel so stupid, and sick, and I just...I can't..."

"No, Johanna. It doesn't make it okay. It was never okay, what we wanted to do, but it was..." Elena tries to speak.

"Please, explain it to me, Elena." Johanna looks up, dropping her hands to her side. "Please, because I am struggling to understand this."

"This whole time, you-" Jeremy begins.

"Not now." Damon warns him quietly.

Elena takes a small, slow step closer. "I'm so sorry, Johanna. What we did was wrong-"

"I didn't ask for that, Elena. I asked you to explain it to me." she snaps back. "Tell me why."

"I have lost so many people that I cared about. The only family that I have left is my brother, and I couldn't- I couldn't lose him because of what he became. He became a hunter because of me, and I couldn't risk losing him."

"So, you risked her life instead?" Jeremy asks.

Elena breathes in sharply. "I couldn't lose my brother. Johanna, if anyone understands what it's like to lose someone-"

"Don't you dare use Alaric against me." the words come out choked, as another sob rises in her throat.

"That's not what I'm doing. I'm so sorry. I really am. I didn't want it to be like this, or for it to end like this." Elena says quietly. "You're my friend. You're one of our friends, and before I could stop it so many things had happened."

"I killed, because you set it up. I had the curse because of...You all."

Matt moves closer. "Johanna, please, just stay here-"

"You were my friend, Matt." she angrily wipes away more tears. "I thought...You all were. I trusted you and-and this whole time..."

Her eyes close, and the tears still fall. "This whole time I should have known. It was too good to be true."

"Johanna." Stefan tries again.

"I don't want to do this." she shakes her head, eyes opening quickly. "I don't want to be around any of you any more. I can't..."

She looks over each of them slowly, not caring about the guilt she sees in their eyes.

"Please." Elena steps closer, her eyes welling with tears. "Please, don't go."

"I really hope that this was all worth it, Elena." her breathing becomes heavier. "Now that I'm leaving you don't have my mark anymore. So, all of this lying and the scheming was for...It was all for nothing. I hope it was worth it because now you're all left with nothing – just like me."

Her vision is blurry when she gets into the car. Gripping the wheel tightly, she switches on the engine and spins the car around quickly. Johanna catches one last look at the five of them in the rear-view mirror before she focuses her eyes on the road and what lies before her.

Tears still spill down her cheeks, and she's forced to stop when she reaches the edge of the road.

She shakes slightly as she reaches into the backseat, searching for her phone. Looking through it slowly, she finds only one person she can call. Her breathing is too heavy, and she's crying too much, to make any real sense so she takes a moment.

Switching off the engine again, she drops her head slowly against the steering wheel and takes a moment. Minutes pass until she dials the number. Rebekah's number.

It goes to voice-mail, but she doesn't leave one.

Instead, she restarts the engine and returns to Klaus' house. She finds him waiting inside, at the bottom of the staircase. He approaches her slowly, finding already something different in the way she holds herself.

"You were right." the words hurt as she says them. "There's nothing truly innocent in the world."

Klaus slowly pulls a wooden stake from the pocket of his coat, extending it to her. She takes it without hesitation.

"Tell me something, Johanna. Have you ever been to New Orleans?"

* * *

**A/N: Hi there! Thank you to everyone who reads my story, I hope you like this new chapter.**

**Special thanks to: onlystardust, Lisa Dixon, Julia, lilsis321, Alsynea, Ashley, Guest, Draegan88, SophStratt, and Carla Krushnic.**

**Ashley 10/2/13 . chapter 27: **Hi, Ashley! It was great to get a review from you (again!) Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. Wow, thank you so much :). That's so wonderful to read, considering Damon is such a complex character. Aww, thank you. I definitely didn't want to change Damon, and wanted Johanna to be the right match for him. Wow, your review was incredible to read - I'm so happy you like them together so much, and think they have great chemistry. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter, and thank you again! xxx

**Guest 10/2/13 . chapter 27: **Dear, Guest. Wow, that's such a lovely thing to say. Thank you :)! I'm happy you're loving the slow build up between them, and that you think the story is well written. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter, and thank you for reading and reviewing! x

**Lisa Dixon 10/4/13 . chapter 27: **Hello, Lisa! Your review didn't have any spelling errors at all :) thank you for reading and reviewing my story, it means a lot to me. I'm so happy to see you're enjoying it, and that you're loving it. Haha, jealous Damon is going to be frequent in this story, haha. Thanks again, and I hope you liked the new update. :) xxx

**Julia 10/3/13 . chapter 27: **Hey, Julia! Aww, thank you :) I'm really happy you are enjoying it (and love my music taste). I'm glad you liked this chapter, and I hope you enjoyed reading the next one!

**Thanks again.**

**X**


	29. The last chance

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

**Soundtrack: Mumford & Sons - The Enemy, Daughter - Tomorrow.**

* * *

_The only person I can count on is me._

When Rebekah rises in the morning light, she stretches out slowly and moves towards the edge of her bed. She reaches for her phone on the nightstand and picks it up to find a missed call, and unread message, from Johanna.

For a moment Rebekah pauses, as she recalls their past conversation. She quickly opens the message, her eyes skimming over the contents in seconds.

**Johanna****: You're ****the only person who didn't lie to me. Thank you for being my friend, Rebekah.  
P.S. They put Kol's body in a box in the tunnels underneath the Grill. Good luck.**

A small smile tugs on Rebekah's lips as she types a speedy reply, thanking her quickly, before she moves to get dressed and sets off in search of her brother in the hopes of finding his body and bringing him back to this world with her.

She soon finds herself down beneath the Grill, in the tunnel systems uncertain at first about where his body is. Soon enough, she finds a wooden box hidden in a deeper, smaller hole. Rebekah quickly removes the lid, throwing it to the ground carelessly. Kol's features are darkened and pale on the inside, and she almost smiles at the sight of him.

She breathes out heavily, painfully recalling all of the times that she had been staked. She thinks on her first encounter with Johanna, and how she pulled the stake from her body instead of placing it in her back as so many have done before.

Rebekah's hands tremble slightly as she clutches the dagger pierced into her brother's chest, removing it seconds later. It doesn't take him long to wake, and when he does he is stunned, and confused, but as his eyes soon settled on his sister the confusion disappears. He pulls himself up out of the box, and the two embrace tightly.

"Rebekah, sister, how did you know where to find me?" he asks quietly.

She pulls back and smiles. "A friend."

"Tell me, I'd like to thank her." Kol answers.

"I do believe you know her. You did torture her once."

"Darling, sister." he sighs, watching her still. "That doesn't narrow the list of possibilities at all. Please, trying be a little more specific, Rebekah."

"Johanna."

"The Hunter?"

Rebekah nods. "Yes, the Hunter and my friend."

Kol almost looks amused.

"Ah, yes I remember her well. The strong little thing, with the sharp tongue. Well, I'll have to send her my regards another time. I've got business to attend to."

* * *

Johanna's eyes skim over the message from Rebekah before she turns towards Cedric, who sits sternly at the drivers wheel with both hands gripping it tightly. His eyes remain focused on the road, but he still catches a side glance of her watching him and he speaks up.

"Is there something you wish to ask me, Johanna?" he asks quietly.

She shifts in her seat and breathes out heavily.

"Why New Orleans?"

"Why not?" he almost smiles.

"Why?"

"Klaus informed you that-"

"That once we reached New Orleans you'd tell me what this was all about." she cuts over him.

Cedric nods once. "Yes, so that's what will happen."

"Why New Orleans?"

"We don't have long left now." he half smiles. "Try to rest, you'll need it."

"I thought you were my friend." she crosses her arms.

Cedric's smile almost widens with amusement.

"I thought you didn't have any friends."

"I don't."

He exhales heavily, silently considering his response for a moment before he decides to go for the truth.

"I approached you at the cemetery out of curiosity. Grief can do powerful things to us, and I suppose it led me towards you as I saw you were also grieving."

Cedric casts her another, obvious look in her direction when she fails to answer him.

"You've suddenly gone quiet.."

"Why New Orleans?" she looks at him again.

His smile remains, and she finds herself wondering how he could be one of Klaus' hybrids.

"There is a task you must complete there."

"Really?"

She seems more than disbelieving.

"Yes, Johanna." Cedric sighs. "That is all, and once you have completed this task and your the rest of the deal has been completed you are free to do whatever it is you wish to."

"Why do I get the feeling that this task won't be as easy as you're making it seem?"

Cedric silently considers her words.

"I'm doing no such thing. The task at hand won't be easy in the slightest, but I have faith in you."

"You don't know me." she bites back harshly.

He nods in agreement. "Be that as it may...Knowledge, or a lack of, doesn't equate to faith. Faith can still be held in those we barely know, just as it may not exist at all in those we do know. I have faith in your skill and ability as a hunter."

She swallows tightly.

"Tell me more about this before we get here, please."

Cedric gives her more silence, but it doesn't last long.

"Cedric, please." Johanna pushes for more, for honesty.

"There is a man by the name of Marcel-"

"That I have to kill?"

"Yes." he nods.

"Why doesn't Klaus kill him-"

"It's a little more complicated than that." he answers cryptically.

"You said man.."

"My apologies," Cedric is quick to correct himself. "He's a vampire. A very powerful one, actually. Your job is to kill him."

"Why me?"

"That's irrelevant to you-"

"Fine." she exhales, turning her gaze out to the window.

"What, no fight?" he almost seems surprised.

"He's a vampire. What other reason should I need?"

"He's a murderer," Cedric states after a moment of silence. "A vicious ruler. If that helps...Klaus wishes to reclaim control of his town, for New Orleans was once his. Marcel wishes for Klaus to be removed. He controls the witches, kills the humans. The town reeks of blood..."

"And you, a vampire, are complaining about the town reeking of blood?"

"Firstly, I'm a hybrid, Johanna. You know that. Secondly, just because I'm no longer human does not mean I don't sympathise with them. To say they receive unfair, or cruel, treatment in this town would be understating it."

"How do you expect me to kill hi, if he's so powerful and strong?" she turns back to him.

He smiles a crooked smile, light filling his eyes. "With a stake of course."

"If it's that simple, why don't you do it?"

"It's complicated."

"Explain it." she pushes.

Cedric pauses.

"Marcel and I are acquainted. As far as I know, he's unaware of my alliance with Klaus."

"How do I fit into this?"

"You're the hunter." he replies. "To save Niklaus' reputation, and the threat of a rebellion against him as he takes over, there needs to be a villain."

"Won't they hunt me?" she lifts an eyebrow. "To avenge Marcel's death?"

Cedric shakes his head, his eyes returning to the road. "If he gives his word, they'll take it."

"His word-"

"That he killed you."

"What if he-"

"Johanna, dear." he can sense her doubt. "He's not going to kill you, you're still far too valuable to him."

Silence passes and only lasts until they're minutes from New Orleans.

"When we arrive there is something we must first do..."

She turns to him, curiosity resting upon her features." Oh, and what is that?"

"To play the part you are expected to play, you must first look the part."

The streets are buzzing with sounds and smells, laughter and music, as they move through the crowds. An array of colours and images. Cedric leads the way, and Johanna follows by slowly. She eyes off the passing crowds, finding herself wondering if any of those she looks over are Marcel, or if they know of him.

Johanna follows Cedric towards a small shop, with a white sign on the outside. He opens the door, and allows her to enter first, before following her inside and sharing a brief word with the woman behind the counter. Then he turns to Johanna, gestures to the shop around them, and smiles.

"Take your pick, anything that you want is yours."

"You're kidding." she answers flatly.

He takes a second to answer.

"I'm most certainly not kidding."

"You want me to buy clothes?"

"To play the p-"

"I know, you said that already." she sighs. "But really? I have to buy new clothes?"

Cedric takes her by the arm and guides her towards the side of the shop. He leans down, pretending to look through the racks of clothes, while he whispers in her ear.

"You want to get out of here alive, don't you?" he asks.

"Yes."

"You want to get out of New Orleans as quickly as you can, yes?"

"Yes." she answers quietly.

"This is the way. Marcel isn't a fool, he won't take a second look at you _unless_ you catch his attention."

Johanna gives in.

"Fine."

"Take all the time you need. I'll be outside waiting for you when you're ready."

With that, Cedric turns away and moves towards the door. He shares another, brief exchange with the woman behind the counter before stepping outside and taking his place by the front door. He glances at back at her, she catches him doing so through the glass, and he smiles briefly and turns away.

"Can I help you, miss?" the woman behind the front counter asks kindly.

Johanna shakes her head. "No, I'm fine."

She needs the help. It's been so long since she's had the luxury to shop for clothes that she can buy, clothes that she can afford, and then she realizes that she doesn't have nearly enough money to buy something from this shop. As if reading her mind, the woman speaks up.

"When you've picked out what you've liked, you can leave. Cedric has already paid in advance." the woman smiles.

Johanna forces a smile back, and answers quietly. "Oh..Um, okay. Thank you."

An hour passes before Johanna has decided on several dresses, some shorts, skirts, and a few shirts. But when she reaches the woman behind the counter, she kindly reminds her to pick out shoes so she places down her items and spends some time picking out shoes.

This situation makes Johanna feel incredibly uncomfortable. For one, she's never been a person who has cared much about material items like clothing, or dresses, and now she's spent a good hour on it.

On top of that, she doesn't feel comfortable being in this store, or in this town, and she knows that her discomfort will probably grow so she decides to just get over it, to move past it and ignore it so she can get the job done.

And that's exactly what it is. A job that needs to be done, another vampire that needs to be killed, and she's happy to do that part.

The hunter inside of her is more than happy to take out that vampire, to remove another monster, so when she joins Cedric outside her mood has increased slightly. But she can't pretend that there isn't an emptiness forming inside of her, or that the pain from the betrayal isn't with her in every waking second.

Cedric smiles at her, and leads her down the streets. They walk until they take a right down the narrow path, and soon come to enter a small door. They take the stairs, and come to stand before a small studio apartment with a small kitchen, a couch, a dresser for the clothes and a double bed with a mirror on the wall.

"The bathroom's down here." he gestures to the door. "And there's a balcony outside."

"This is where we'll be staying?"

Cedric nods once. "Yes, for now. Klaus does own a residence here, but it would be highly suspicious if you were to stay there. If you'd like, you can set your things down-"

"I'd like to talk about the job."

"If you wish."

Cedric sighs, moving towards the windows.

He opens them and pulls back dusty blinds before returning his gaze towards Johanna. She stands still, with the bags by her side and her arms crossed over herself. She's stubborn, he knows this already, and Cedric also believes that she deserves to know the truth.

"Klaus tricked me into this, didn't he?"

"What?" a slight frown creases over his face.

"He sent you to bite Damon because he knew I'd come for the cure. Somehow, he knew that I'd want to save his life and that in return for that I'd have to do this."

"It worked out well for all parties involved." Cedric responds. "What else do you wish to know?"

"What else do I have to do, to prepare to meet Marcel?"

He considers this for a brief second. "You'll have to remove your jewellery."

"Excuse me?"

"Your rings." Cedric says, gesturing towards them. "You'll have to remove all of them."

"Fine, but there's something I need you to do."

"What do you need?" he asks politely.

And again she is left wondering how he could work for Klaus, or why he would. She fights the urge to ask him, and instead decides to focus on her current situation and what it is she wishes for him to do.

"I need you to send a parcel to...Someone." she answers vaguely.

Johanna expects him to press her for more answers, but he doesn't.

"Okay."

"Really?" she lifts an eyebrow. "No argument at all?"

"If it's simply a parcel, I seem not reason to refuse such a simply offer. If you give me the address, I shall have it immediately delivered for you."

She takes immediate notice of the pause that follows his words.

"What is it?"

Cedric sighs. "There's something else."

"What?"

"Marcel will not be able to view your mark, no one but a hunter can do such a thing and, as far as I am aware of, you are the only hunter here."

"Reassuring." she mutters under her breath.

He pays no attention to it.

"He'll want to compel you."

"To do what?" she frowns.

"You're a human. He especially likes humans, playing with their mind, using them to order him drinks, fetch him things and so on. He likes to be in control." Cedric responds, watching as her expression shifts slightly.

He doesn't pick up the emotions, and doesn't have time to.

"But I can't be compelled-" she stops. "So, I'll have to pretend that I can be compelled."

"Yes, you'll have to be believable or he'll suspect that you're on vervain, or you're not who you say you are, and he'll kill you. He won't hesitate. If he picks up on something being wrong, I'm afraid there won't be much I can do for you without creating a war." Cedric answers quietly.

She remains silent for several seconds, before finally speaking up.

"Okay, when are we doing this? Now?"

"We can't rush into this." he answers. "So, no. Now would not be an appropriate time."

"Why not?"

"Firstly, you will accompany me tonight to a bar of his that he will attend. We will dangle the bait before him, he probably won't approach you tonight, and then we will leave. He will either follow you, or he will send one of his men after you. You will probably be asked to join him, to which you must accept because they aren't asking. Eventually, when he has become bored of you or has other matters, he will leave. If it works, and if he likes you, he will call for you again. If he does not, then you must leave town because I believe the only reason he wouldn't like a woman such as yourself is if he suspected something wasn't right." Cedric responds, his voice softer. "If you leave, you must run because someone is likely to follow."

"So, it all comes down to my behaviour?" she asks coolly.

"Precisely."

"What time tonight?"

"7:30," he replies. "I'll be here to pick you up."

"Wait, where are you going?" she asks, taking a step closer.

Cedric almost smiles. "I've got things to tend you. It'd be best if you didn't leave until tonight, and I'm saying that as kindly as I can. Klaus doesn't want you to walk off into a dark alleyway, and be killed by a random vampire."

"Fine, I won't leave." she uncrosses her arms, releasing a deeply held sigh a she does.

"I'll drive the car down, and fetch your bags. Will you be right until then?"

"Yes, thanks."

Johanna steps away from Cedric and moves towards a set of doors, she pulls them open and steps out onto a small balcony. The air is crisp, and fresh. She breathes it in deeply, before running her hands over her forehead. She brushes them through her hair, pulling it back off of her face. The sudden beeping noise of her phone rings in the silence, and she reaches into the pocket of her jeans to pull it out. Once removed from her pocket, she unlocks it and reads the message.

Another message from Matt:

**Jo, just call someone. Talk to me, please. Let us know you're okay.**

She re-reads it several times before sliding her phone back inside her pocket. Her eyes fall down to the rings settled on her fingers, and she looks over each of them carefully before she breathes out deeply and drops her head slightly. Minutes later, the sound of footsteps inside draws her back in and she finds a stranger standing inside.

His hair is dark, and brushed neatly to one side. His jaw his strong, and his eyes are set on her. The suit that he's dressed in is neat, and she can't deny that he looks nice in it. He smiles at her kindly, and she feels oddly comfortable.

"Johanna, yes?" he takes a step in her direction.

"It depends on who's asking." she answers quietly.

His smile remains.

"My name is Elijah Mikaelson."

Elijah extends his hand to her, watching her with a deep curiosity.

"Rebekah's brother?"

"Yes, one of them."

Johanna pauses briefly before taking his hand and shaking it. His kind smile remains as he takes a step backwards, moving towards the kitchen.

"Would you like a tea, Johanna?"

"Uh..." she pauses. "Yes, sure. That would be nice."

"Great." Elijah nods. "You do look slightly nervous, and I'm sure that a tea would help with that."

"I'm not nervous."

"There's absolutely no shame in denying it, some-"

"If you're speaking about the job I've come here to do, then no I'm not nervous. Far from it, actually. I'm looking forward to driving the stake through his heart." she answers, taking a step closer.

Elijah turns back, looking pleased with himself. "And whose heart would that be?"

"Johanna, I carried-"

Cedric begins, stopping as his eyes settle on the familiar face standing in the kitchen.

Two tea cups rest in his hands.

"Tea, Cedric?" Elijah asks pleasantly.

Cedric pauses, glancing between the two of them.

"No, thanks. How did you-"

"How did I know you returned? Oh, Cedric, dear. How you doubt my skills." he replies coolly.

"I do no such thing." Cedric sets the bags down. "I was just unaware of your presence in the town, or your knowledge of my guest."

"Yes, well, with the arrival or a hybrid _and_ a hunter how could I not show up?" Elijah briefly glances at her. "And that is what you are, isn't it? You're a Hunter, Johanna? Niklaus' new play thing?"

"I'm not his play thing, or anyone else's." she snaps back.

"Yes, I assumed that much so you can understand my confusion about why it is you are here. You don't seem the type to come willingly, or to be his play thing. The only reason I believe you may be here is because you've embarked on a deal with my brother, to which I would reply that you are indeed a poor soul. My brother does not usually allow those he creates deals with to leave willingly. He seems to always find a use for them."

"When the deal is over, I'm done. That's the arrangement." Johanna answers confidently. "I'm not a poor soul, and I'm not your brother's play thing. When this is over, I'm gone."

Elijah continues to make the tea while Cedric stands still, uncertainty swept over his features.

"Yes, Cedric, you may leave now. I do believe Johanna and I will be quite comfortable on our own here, drinking tea, yes? And yes, you may go and call Niklaus to inform him of my intrusion on your plans. Please, do send him my regards. Also, feel free to tell him that I have no interest in what it is he's doing here and as such I will not be interfering."

Cedric leaves seconds later, shutting the door behind him. Silence falls between them, and is broken by the sound of Elijah's footsteps moving over the floorboards as he walks towards a small wooden table. He sets the two cups of tea down, before holding his hands out and extending the seat to Johanna.

She moves reluctantly towards it, and watches as he takes his seat in front of her. He smiles and drinks from the tea first.

She picks it up and drinks from it slowly.

"Thank you, for the tea."

He smiles.

"So, Johanna, whose heart is it that you wish to press a stake in to? I do believe I have an idea of who it might be, but I'd rather hear it from your mouth than make attempts at guessing."

Johanna swallows tightly, clearly hesitant to answer.

"I did mean what I said earlier," Elijah continues. "I have no reason to interfere with my brother's games. I simply wish to know what is occurring in the town, and I do believe you can share that information with me. I can see that you are reluctant to tell me who it is, in case it somehow effects you're arrangements. Well, it won't. I give you my word, for whatever it's worth."

"A vampire by the name of Marcel."

"Ah." Elijah almost smiles, sipping from his mug. "I believed as much. Niklaus wishes you to complete the task, yes?"

"Yes." she nods once.

"With a simple stake to the heart?"

"He believes it will work. So does Cedric."

Elijah silently contemplates this for a minute, before speaking. "Marcel is a very clever man."

"So I've been told."

"You'll have to be equally clever to get past him, but I don't doubt you. You should know that I believe he will try to test you." Elijah takes another sip.

"How?"

He looks up suddenly. "Niklaus failed to tell you why it was that Marcel would want _you_ around?"

She shakes her head once, remaining completely silent. Her eyes rest firmly and curiously on him.

"Marcel is a cruel man, but he was not always this way. We are not always the monsters that we become. Some of us once held our humanity, just like Marcel once did. He was captivated by a young woman, a human. Her name was Jocelyn. She was quite beautiful, dark hair and light eyes almost like yours. You do bear a resemblance to her. Now, Marcel is quite a powerful vampire but he does hold a certain weakness for women who remind him of Jocelyn. If you are to gain his attention, he will use you for his own needs. I'm quite sure you understand what that means, and I'm almost certain that he will feed from you. Personally, I don't see how you could survive that."

"You think he'll kill me?" she stiffens up in her chair.

"My apologies. I should rephrase that - the Hunter inside of you will not endure such a thing for long. You are likely to snap and attempt to kill him, which will surely result in your painful and immediate death." Elijah responds, pausing slightly. "How do you like the tea?"

Johanna breathes inwards. "I can control myself."

"I can see that."

"How?" she replies.

Elijah leans back in his chair slightly, his eyes skimming over her as he does.

"You're drinking tea with an Original Vampire, Johanna, I believe that to be the picture of control. However, t it could very well be a different story when a vampire is feeding from you."

And then he sees it in her eyes.

"You've allowed a vampire to feed on you before, haven't you?"

"Yes."

Damon fed from her.

"Who?" Elijah questions, curiosity swirling in his eyes.

"Does it really matter?"

"I suppose not. How did the situation turn out?"

"I controlled myself. I didn't attack him." she says, finding it difficult to speak about him.

"Hmm." Elijah answers quietly. "Well, Johanna, I suppose that there is not much that you can do except attempt to work on your control. Focus your energy, and your thoughts, on something or someone else entirely and hold on to that. If you fail to do so, I'm afraid that this will be our last conversation as you won't make it through the night."

Elijah stands from the table, causing her to also stand. He smiles at her with a surprising kindness, but she doesn't allow herself to believe it, or fall for it, because the last time she fell for kindness it didn't turn out well. She fell for it with Matt, and Elena, and even Damon. Never again. She can't count on anyone but Alaric, but he's gone, so all that she has is herself. All that she can count on is herself.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, and perhaps under different circumstances this would have been a lovely afternoon." he moves swiftly towards the door.

"Thank you for the tea."

"Good luck, Johanna." Elijah says, pausing to look back at her. "With Marcel, and with my brother."

"Thank you, Elijah."

Elijah moves towards the door, his voice echoing in the silence.

"Oh, and I'd like to suggest that you wear the red dress tonight, with the silver heels. It brings out your eyes."

* * *

Cedric glances up towards the bathroom door as Johanna exits. She's dressed in a tight red dress, that clings to her body and brings out her eyes. Just like Elijah said it would.

She steps towards him in high silver heels, which shine underneath the lights. Her hair hangs loosely out, in soft curls, and bounces as she walks towards him. She's wearing make-up. Red lipstick and a little mascara. She shifts underneath Cedric's gaze, because she feels uncomfortable in this. Her rings are all gone, she wears only faded scars and bruises on her arms and hands.

"How do I look?" she takes a step towards him.

He smiles sweetly.

"Absolutely captivating. I doubt Marcel will be able to remove his eyes from you, let alone refuse you."

"That's what we want, right?"

"Right." he smiles, taking a step towards the door. "Oh, and Johanna?"

She looks up nervously. "Mm?"

"Your phone has been ringing, and making noises, for the last hour. It's quite annoying, and I almost considering tossing it out of the window. However, I refrained from doing so as I thought it might upset you." Cedric's lips tug into a smile, as he opens the door. "I suggest you answer whoever is trying to call you, it must be urgent. You can take a minute, if you need it, then we must move."

"Okay."

Johanna crosses the room slowly, her heels clacking across the ground as she reaches for her phone dumped on the edge of her bed. She picks it up slowly, like it might break in her hands, like she doesn't want to know who's trying to call her. She looks down at the missed calls, and messages, and pauses before she dials a number.

It rings twice before Jeremy picks up.

_"Johanna?" disbelief runs down his voice._

Her breathing hitches. "You need to stop calling me, Jeremy. Okay? Stop it, and tell everyone-"

_"I'm so glad you're okay." he cuts over her, ignoring her words. "I am."_

Johanna bites down on her bottom lip as she hears a voice echoing in the background. Matt.

_"Is that Johanna? Let me talk to her, please-" Matt starts._

"Oh, god." she breathes in sharply.

_"Just, hang on." Jeremy tells her. "Don't hang up."_

Silence finds her again, as she walks out on the small balcony with the phone still pressed against her ear. She glances down from the balcony, finding Cedric patiently waiting in the street below. He glances up at her, and taps his watch. She nods once, and just as she moves to end the call Jeremy returns.

_"Okay, I'm back. It's just us." he says._

A frown creeps over her face.

"I don't know why you keep calling me, Jeremy, but you need to stop it."

_"I didn't know what they were doing, okay?" Jeremy says loudly, honesty ringing in his voice. "I didn't know that-"_

"They were using me?"

_"I didn't. I wouldn't have let them." he answers quickly._

She falls silent, and he's worried she's not there anymore.

_"Johanna?"_

"I know." her voice is quieter.

Jeremy doesn't understand.

_"How? I thought..You thought I was in on it too?"_

"I could see it in your eyes. You were, er..." she almost laughs. "You were just as confused as I was. And you were asking all those questions.."

_"Please, come back. We're all worried."_

"Really?"

The disbelief and distrust in her voice causes the guilt to deepen on his shoulders, but before he can answer her and reassure her that they are all worried, because they are, she speaks.

"Please, stop calling me."

Her voice is significantly colder, and it reminds him of the times when they first met and didn't trust the other. The trust that she once held in him is gone, he believes, and he takes a minute to speak.

_"Jo-"_

"Jeremy." her voice catches. "Please."

He falls silent once more, allowing her an opportunity to speak.

"I can't come back, I won't." she tries to sound confident, but her voice wavers. "So, please, let's just make this easier on all of us and leave me alone."

_"This isn't easy, and I can't do that." Jeremy is quick to answer. "We miss you already. Matt's crazy worried, and Elena-"_

"I don't care." Johanna stops him. "I don't care if Matt's worried, or if Elena feels guilty, and I sure don't care what's happening in Mystic Falls. I'm not coming back, and if the calls don't stop I'm tossing my phone for good."

_"Don't. Don't do that." he almost begs. "Jo, you're our friend. You're my friend, and I'm so sorry for what they did to you. But you need to come back, okay? Please, come back."_

"Look, Jeremy, I have to go but before I do there's a message I want you to pass on." she says quietly.

_"To who?"_

"To all of them."

_"What is it?"_

"Tell them I would've done it. If they had been honest, from the start, I would have helped."

_"Johanna." he sighs, guilt resting in his voice._

"This guilt isn't yours, Jeremy, so don't carry it." she snaps unintentionally. "This isn't your fault. Okay? I want you to know that I don't blame you, and I don't blame them. I blame myself for being foolish, and for making the mistake to trust strangers."

_"You weren't foolish, you were being human." he's quick to answer._

"Mm. Well, being human isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Is it?" she mumbles, scratching at the side of her head. "Um..There's one more thing."

_"What?"_

"There's a parcel headed your way, to the Gilbert House." she informs him.

His confusion deepens.

_"What?"_

"It's for you, Jeremy. Only you. Read the note, and don't share it with anyone. Okay? I'm trusting you."

Jeremy breathes out heavily.

_"Okay, but Johanna...Please, consider coming back. Consider coming home, there are things you need to know-"_

"Jer," she sighs. "I don't have a home to come back to, please don't make this harder than it already is."

A sad silence falls between them for a minute, before he finally breaks it. His voice is significantly softer, and he sounds sadder. Hearing him like this hurts her, and it's taking all of the strength that she has to not get in the car and return to him right now.

_"I'll get them to stop calling, if you keep your phone. I want to...I want to stay in contact with you. Maybe, we can meet again."_

"I don't think so, but I'll keep the phone. For you." she steps towards the door, turning away from the bright city lights. "Good-bye, Jeremy."

His voice is solemn on the other end, and her sadness only grows.

_"Good-bye, Jo."_

* * *

**A/N: Hi! **

**Wow, thanks to everyone who reads my story. The view counts for chapter 27 & 28 were the highest they've ever been, and I can't thank you enough!**

**I hope you like this new chapter, I'm probably just really nervous about it because of Elijah's scene (it's the first time I've ever written him) and, of course, he's incredibly complex and wonderful...Let me know what you thought about this chapter, and if you thought Elijah was to OOC. This chapter was really, mainly, focused on Johanna but I hope you liked that. The next one is going to focus on Johanna in New Orleans, and then flash back to a chaotic Mystic Falls...**

**A very special thanks to; Sophstratt, lilsis321, Ashley, Sabine Christensen, Guest, Lisa Dixon and JoyScott13 for their incredibly and kind reviews of chapter 28 :)**

**Guest reviews:**

**Lisa Dixon 10/8/13 . chapter 28: **Hi, Lisa! Aww, thank you so much. :) I'm seriously so happy you loved the new chapter. Well, as you'll know now there wasn't any Klaus/Johanna in this chapter because he has to stay away from the town BUT I promise I have plenty of Klaus/Johanna stuff planned for the future which will, in my opinion, be kind of interesting. Haha, well there won't be a Klaus/Johanna romance but there will be something there..A friendship? Hmm...You'll see eventually. (This is definitely still Jamon, despite how unlikely and impossible that seems right now. Something is going to draw them back together.) Thank you again for reading, and reviewing. I'm glad you love it, and I hope you liked this new update. I hope you have a nice day too! :) xx

**Guest 10/8/13 . chapter 28: **Dear, Guest. Yep! The big secret (one of them, anyway) is out. Thanks for reading and reviewing this story, I really appreciate it and I hope you liked this new update too! :) xx

**Ashley 10/8/13 . chapter 28: **Hey, Ashley! Wow, thank you so much for such an incredible review. I'm at least happy that the emotion I put in to this, and everything I was trying to convey, clearly came across as you felt her pain too! I'm actually glad you felt bad for Matt, because that's what I wanted for his character. It's not like this was his plan, he didn't think of it and he wanted out but he wasn't strong enough because she was a great friend. Don't worry, the friendship (and the epic friendship of Team human) is **FAR** from over :)

Aww, well I hope that this chapter was good enough and lived up to your expectations of New Orleans. This was just the beginning, and you guys didn't get to see much of New Orleans from Johanna's perspective because she didn't get to see it either but the next chapter has a lot of the town in it. Haha, yeah you definitely guessed it..The eldest Original made an appearance, and he'll be back again I can guarantee that. Ohh, no I would never ever mind your constant reviewing - on the contrary, I love it and it always makes me happy to read. Thank you for reading! :) xx

* * *

**Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy.**

**X**


	30. The mistake and the masquerade

**Disclaimer: I own and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

**Soundtrack: Daughter - Human, Florence and the Machine - Blinding, The National - Sorrow.**

* * *

_My primary reason for existence has abandoned me,  
__and the_ _ remains of the shaky ground that I walk on are about to go kaboom.  
Let's get hammered._

The house is silent as Jeremy ventures down the staircase. His feet guide him towards the kitchen, and once inside her finds Matt resting against the sink with Elena standing beside him. They wear identical looks of worry, and guilt, on their features and remain silent as he enters. They wait for him to speak, and eventually he does.

"I thought she'd hang up if she knew you were here." Jeremy says, glancing in Matt's direction.

Matt nods. "I get it. How is she?"

"How is she?" Damon's cold voice echoes through the hallway. "I bet our dear Johanna is having the time of her life, downing whiskey in a dirty bar somewhere."

Elena shoots him a look.

"Damon, don't. This isn't funny."

"Some people manage to find the humour in every situation, I guess I'm just one of those people." he sighs, reaching for a glass. "Oh, quit pouting, Elena. What did you expect? For her to call you up, and immediately be best friends again?"

"There was something Johanna wanted to say." Jeremy announces, looking between the three of them.

Damon turns stiffly towards him, the empty glass still resting in his hands.

"What? Go to hell?" he asks.

Jeremy pauses.

"She said that if you had been honest, and if you had asked her, she would have done it."

A mix of disbelief and guilt crosses over Elena's features.

"What? I thought-"

Damon scoffs. "Yeah, right."

"That's all she said, and that's all I'm saying." Jeremy tucks his hands in his pockets. "I'm going for a walk."

"Again? Jer, wait." Elena moves towards him, reaching out for his shoulder.

He pulls back.

"It's just a walk, Elena."

"Reverting back to the silent treatment, little Gilbert?" Damon almost smiles, leaning forward. "Good, I'd like some peace and quiet."

Jeremy shakes his head, taking another step away as he does.

"I just need some air. Okay? I'm not giving anyone the silent treatment, I just need time."

Elena sighs, tucking her hair back behind her ears as she does. "Jer, you know that I-"

"You were trying to do it to save me?"

She nods, and breathes out deeply. "You're the only family I have left. I didn't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"You're never going to lose me, Elena, but I can't pretend that I'm okay with what you did because I'm not. I'm not okay with it, and I don't think it's right, and I can't believe that you were all in on it." Jeremy shakes his head again. "I just need time, okay? So, give me that."

"Haven't we already had this conversation?" Damon snaps. "Because I'm pretty sure I remember you whining about the same damn thing yesterday-"

"Why do you have to be such a dick for?" Jeremy snaps back angrily. "Even now, after what you did, you're not even guilty."

"Yeah, you're right, I'm not." Damon pauses, swallowing a mouthful of bourbon. "But you are, and honestly it's annoying. You had nothing to do with this, you didn't even know, so quit carrying the weight of it all on your damn shoulders, Atlas. This isn't on you, it's on us."

Jeremy bites his tongue, because he knows that whatever he'd wanted to say back to Damon would only push him to snap. Instead of saying anything, he turns and walks away. He walks quickly towards the front door, looking forward to breathing in the cool air and going for a long walk to clear his head. He reaches the handle and turns it, opening it to find a familiar face with dark eyes staring back at him.

A kind, but cruel, smile lurks on Kol's face.

"Jeremy, mate, good to see you. Beautiful evening, isn't it?"

"Jer?" Elena calls out, stepping quickly out in the hallway.

She halts immediately as her eyes settle down upon Kol.

"Ah! Elena, I can say it's a pleasure to see you again."

"What do you want?" Damon's voice is almost a growl, and he's standing at the front door in seconds.

"Damon." Kol sighs. "Not so nice to see you again, is it?"

"What do you want?" Jeremy asks.

"I'd like to come inside, if you'd be so kind as to invite me in."

"You're out of your freaking mind." Damon snaps back, moving forward slightly.

Damon now stands protectively in front of Jeremy, Matt and Elena.

"That's not going to happen, dick, so walk away."

"You can invite me in, or I can burn the house down." Kol suggests. "It's entirely up to you, and if you'd like this to be over quickly or if you'd prefer to draw it out."

"What do you want with us?" Elena inches closer.

"I'd like a word with young Jeremy here." Kol points his finger at him. "Our last meeting didn't end so pleasantly, did it? If I recall correctly, it ended with you placing a dagger in my chest. I'd simply like to return the favour, mate."

Jeremy frowns deeply, confusion building inside of him. "How did you even get out? You were-"

"In a box, in the tunnels underneath the Mystic Grill, yes?" Kol's smile widens. "Well, let's just say that your foolish ways allowed me to escape."

"How?" Damon frowns.

"It's always the ones that we are closest to that betray us, isn't it?" he replies.

"Who are you talking about?" Elena asks.

"The other hunter."

"Johanna." she says quietly, sharing a brief exchange with Damon.

"Yes! Johanna, what a darling." Kol's grin widens. "She informed my dear sister, Rebekah, of my location. I'll have to thank her, perhaps send her flowers, before I find her and tear her limbs off one by one. What a pity she's a hunter, she has to die now. We can't have any of those running around town trying to wake Silas, now, can we?"

"You're too late, _idiot_." Damon growls deeply. "She's gone, and you're not getting inside this house."

"First, I'll burn the house to the ground and all of you with it. Then I'll run her down, it shouldn't take me long. I believe this will all be over by sunrise, and then I shall be able to enjoy life without the threat of hell coming to earth. Now, if you'd all like to wait here and I'll return with a few things."

"Klaus won't let you do this." Elena calls out.

Her words cause Kol to halt, and turn around slowly. His entire body remains rigid, and all is still but the smile that returns to his lips.

"What my brother doesn't know won't hurt him."

Elena shakes her head, taking another step closer.

"He'll find out, someway. He won't let you do this."

"Not if I'm quick. Now, like I said, please wait here. Carry on with your night, as you would, and I'll be back shortly to burn the house right down to the ground."

* * *

The atmosphere inside the bar is buzzing and energetic, as they make their way inside. The room is dimly lit, decorated with simple but beautiful decorations. Dark brown floorboards cover the floor. Black and red walls surround them. A large, long bar made of black marble stands before them. The room is lit up by the many, silver, circle lights dangling down from the high roof.

Open doors have been pulled back, making the bar a part of the balcony. The sky around them is dark, but lit up with the many buzzing lights and signs. Cedric holds the door open for Johanna, she thanks him with a silent look, and then they make their way towards the bar to order drinks. He orders two whiskeys, hands a glass to her, and then guides them towards the red leather bar stools a few feet to the right.

Cedric pauses, leans in a little closer and whispers in her ear.

"The table directly across from us is where Marcel always sits. He's not here yet, but once he enters you must stand and head towards the ladies' room. Wait two minutes, he will be seated, then return to me. And Johanna, dear, try to calm yourself. You look incredibly tense."

"You can understand why. Can't you?"

"Yes, of course. Have a drink." he pushes the glass towards her.

She takes it without hesitation and swallows a large mouthful, pausing as she glances down at the purse in her hand to see a bright light shining through. It's her phone ringing again. Johanna pulls it out, reading the screen she finds Jeremy has sent her several messages and he's calling her right now. She releases a deep breath of air, and holds her phone out to Cedric.

"Take this for me?"

He takes it without question and slides it into the pocket of his black suit. Then, he takes a seat and waits for her to join his side. Cedric always keeps an eye on the door, in the minutes that pass, and when he recognises the first guy from Marcel's main group he turns to Johanna and nods.

"Head to the ladies room now. I'll order us another drink." he instructs.

Johanna stands, as she is told to, and moves towards the ladies room which is down a small corridor and to the right. She pushes open the door, finding that nearly everything inside is made from black marble. The floors are a swirl of white and black. The lights are dull, and the stalls are all empty. She doesn't need to use the bathroom, but she locks herself inside a cubicle any way and leans her head back against the closed-door.

Her breathing is heavy and irregular for a minute, as she raises her hands to her forehead to brush the hair back off of her face. Voices return to her, of loved ones, lost ones, and she knows that she can do this. She can do this for them. She can do this because it's just another job. Another vampire to kill. She counts the time in her head, and once two minutes have passed by she unlocks the cubicle and washes her hands underneath the silver sinks before drying them and leaving the room.

The music and voices from the room echo down the dark hallway, and eventually her feet lead her back outside. The room is noticeably fuller, and a large crowd now sits, and stands, around the area where Cedric told her Marcel would be sitting.

The next seconds are what count the most, she can recall Cedric telling her. She needs to gain his attention, to lure him in. She needs to make herself the bait that he wants to snatch up. She walks slowly through the crowds, pressing her lips together and keeping her hands by her side.

Johanna moves slowly, but easily. Her eyes skim the room carefully, falling on a few faces seated at Marcel's table, and she almost looks like she's walking towards them when she takes a left and coolly slides into the seat beside Cedric at the bar.

Cedric smiles at her sideways, pride on his face as he slides her vodka.

She almost frowns when he stays silent, and then he leans close and whispers something in her ear.

"Fantastic job, Johanna. I struggled to keep my eyes from you, and Marcel was the same. It would seem you passed the first stage, dear."

Once Cedric has pulled back, a smile creeps over her face and she swallows from the drink. If she has to play this part, she might as well enjoy it.

"Here's to, whatever the night will bring." she crosses her legs, extending her glass towards his.

He hits his glass against hers, a small smile on his face.

"To whatever the night will bring."

"I'll drink to that."

A man leaning beside them grins, extending his bottle of beer to Johanna.

She shares a brief exchange in Cedric's direction, who nods at her, before she lifts her glass to his. Johanna smiles pleasantly, as pleasantly as she can, before she swallows another, longer mouthful of whiskey.

"You new around here, baby?" he asks.

"Found her on the way in."

Cedric speaks up and he says it like he's boasting, like she was helpless, or alone, and he dragged her here. She goes along.

"You got a name?" he leans closer.

"Anna." she extends her hand to him, still smiling sweetly.

"Anna. What a beautiful name. Short for anything?"

"Yes, actually. Short for Johanna."

"I'm Christopher, and it's a pleasure to meet you. Maybe I'll see you around?"

Her eyes flicker towards the drink in her hands, and seconds later she's swallowed all that remained. She ignores Christopher's gaze, and his question, and instead turns to look outside. She focuses on the colours. The dark black sky, the light stars and party lights. The orange, and white, and neon signs. The constant flashing of colours.

"Maybe." Cedric answers warily, his eyes set on the man. "Now, if you'd be so kind as to excuse us."

Christopher spares another glance their way before walking away and joining a table to the right. Once he has disappeared, she turns to face Cedric whose brow is slightly creased.

"What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, Anna." his smile returns. "You were perfect, and I think he thought so too. I'll keep an eye on him for you."

"What was he? Vampire? He was, wasn't he?"

Cedric catches a hint of Marcel's eyes, watching them from his throne, and he leans in closer. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he presses a soft kiss to her face so it won't look as suspicious.

"They're all vampires in here, dear." he whispers softly, before leaning back.

The same wide grin rests on his face.

"How about _another_ vodka, darling?!" he suggests, the enthusiasm dripping off his voice.

She forces another smile.

"As long as you're buying, I'll keep drinking."

* * *

Jeremy paces the hallways anxiously, a million thoughts rushing through his head. He tries to block out the sounds of Damon and Elena arguing in the kitchen, or Matt's frustration as he tries, and fails, to get a hold of Johanna, or Rebekah, or anyone to help. They're trapped inside, and the only way that Jeremy thinks they can get out is if they fight.

"You can't seriously be considering Jeremy's idea!" Elena calls out, frustration ringing off her voice. "I know that this is a complicated situation, Damon-"

"Really? Oh, really? Complicated? We're all going to burn and die in this house, if we don't get the hell out. And our only way out is if we fight, like Jeremy said."

"What about Matt?"

"He can fight too. Being human doesn't mean that he's not occasionally useful. You've got weapons here, right? A few crossbows, a knife, some guns. We're good to go. All we need is a stake to finish the job - and, oh, that's right. We've got that too!" Damon snaps back, the impatience clear in his voice. "I'm doing this, Elena."

"This isn't your house, you don't have the right to invite him in. It has to be Jeremy, or Matt, and I won't let them do this. I won't let you risk them."

"Our options are strikingly simple, Elena." his voice turns colder. "We either die, or we fight. And I don't really want to die today, so I'm going to the latter option. Whatever you chose to do, that's your decision. Not mine."

"We have to decide this together."

"Guys!" Jeremy shouts, causing a silence to fall between them. "We have a few minutes, if that. We need to fight, Elena. Damon's right, for once. There are crossbows, and a stake, and we can do this. There's four of us against him."

"Four of us - And what's that, Jeremy? Two humans, and two vampires who aren't even half as strong as an Original." Elena answers, shaking her head. "We shouldn't risk-"

"We can't hide in here, put our heads under the covers and pretend that he isn't going to burn our house down because he will." Jeremy sighs deeply. "And we don't need to be as strong as Kol, or half as strong. We need to stop wasting our time and get the upper hand on him. If we can catch him while he's guarded, that's all we need."

"Elena," Damon sighs, striding towards her. "We need to look at this situation for what it is."

"And what is it, Damon?"

"It's life, or death. The ground that we stand on is crumbling beneath us. This damn house is going to burn around us unless we fight our way out of here, and I can't take Kol alone."

Elena considers this for a brief moment, before a familiar knocking on the door draws her attention away. She turns to Damon, and nods quickly. He and Jeremy take the stairs, hastily moving towards the weapons. Elena tries to find a way to stall.

"One minute!" she calls out.

"I'm running out of patience, and you're running out of time, Elena!" Kol shouts back.

She can almost picture the smug smile on his face.

"Tick tock, darling, tick tock." his voice rises in the silence.

Damon speeds down the staircase, and in seconds he's standing before Matt and Elena.

"You know how to use this?" he whispers.

"You're truly testing my patience!" Kol shouts.

"Shut up and give us a minute to consider your offer!" Damon snaps back viciously.

Then, Damon turns back to face Matt and extends the gun to him. "I said, you know how to use one of these?"

"Yeah." Matt frowns. "Of course I do."

"Head up stairs. When we need you, we'll call you." Damon orders him.

Matt doesn't dare refuse, he moves quickly upstairs and joins Jeremy inside Elena's bedroom. Damon turns to face Elena, noticing the fear inside her eyes. He hands another gun, and gives her a small smile.

"Stay behind me." he orders.

She nods quickly, taking the gun from his hands. "Okay."

"Jeremy!" Damon calls out, stepping speedily towards the door. "Invite him in."

A thick, tense silence follows as Damon and Elena move away from the front door and speed inside the kitchen. He instructs that she wait here, and tells her quickly that after he attacks Kol first, Jeremy is going to shoot him with a cross bow, and then they will just see what happens here.

"Come in, Kol." Jeremy shouts.

The door handle twists open, and the door swings open to reveal Kol standing on the porch with all of the items he'd need to burn their house. Gasoline and matches.

He smiles.

"Very smart decision, Damon. I'm still going to kill you, but I might save you for last. We could have some fun together."

With that, Kol takes a step inside. He leaves the gasoline and box of matches on the porch, and walks casually inside the hallway. His dark eyes skim the surroundings, finding no one. Only emptiness.

A slight smile cracks on his hardened features as his voice rises into the dark silence.

"Are we playing hide and seek?" he sounds cheerful. "Great, I love this game. Now, we're truly going to have some fun."

* * *

"Now, isn't this fun?" Cedric smiles, sipping on another glass of whiskey. "I told you it'd be fun, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't." Johanna shakes her head, a smile playing on her red lips. "You didn't, actually. You practically told me it'd be everything but fun."

"Well, it is. For now."

She knows it's all part of the act, and that she isn't the only one who's being tested or watched. A vampire as powerful as Marcel would have every reason to be suspicious of most people who passed through his town, especially hybrids. They're both under close watch, and they can feel it. It's been over an hour since they've been in the bar, and no contact has been made by Marcel or his men.

Until now.

"Excuse me, miss." a female bartender, with black hair and green eyes, taps on her shoulder.

Johanna turns around slowly, just as Cedric does. He eyes the woman off, whose eyes are settled only on Johanna. The name tag pressed to her black dress gives them her name. Lily. She carries a silver tray in her hands, with a single glass resting on it. A dirty martini.

"I'm sorry, we didn't order that." Cedric frowns slightly.

"Oh, yes, I know that." Lily half smiles. "The gentleman over there sent it."

Lily turns and gestures towards the table across the room, to Marcel's table. Seconds later, Johanna follows her gaze and settles her eyes down upon the table. A dark eyed man, with short, shaven hair and a bright smile raises his glass to her. A smile plays on her lips, as she takes the martini from the tray and thanks the bartender.

She turns rigidly towards Cedric, whose eyes are already focused on her.

He cracks a smile. "This is serious, Johanna. Put the drink down, and finish off your vodka."

Johanna does as she is told. She picks up her almost empty glass of vodka, downing the contents as Cedric continues to smile, and talk in an incredibly serious and low voice which looks quite strange when paired with the wide smile.

"It could be laced with something, but you can't smell it. If you do, it might ring some bells with him. Just drink it."

"You really want be to drink something that could be laced-"

"I've got you covered, just drink it."

She doesn't move.

"Now." he snaps, but his smile remains.

Johanna's fingers slide around the long, thin glass. She picks it up, and almost presses it to her lips, before glancing towards Marcel and raising her glass to him as he did minutes earlier. She smiles sweetly, before she takes a long sip from it.

"How do you feel?"

"Great." her smile remains intact, as she sets the glass down.

Cedric's attention is drawn away to his phone, in the left pocket of his pants as it chimes with a message. He glances down at it briefly, before looking up into her dark eyes and smiling.

"I need to step outside and take this." Cedric announces, pulling out a roll of bills. "Order whatever you want, I'll be back soon."

"Okay."

"Don't screw this up, not when you're doing so well."

With that, he takes several long strides across the room and towards the door. After a brief glance back in her direction, Cedric steps outside and pulls out his phone. He continues to walk through the crowds, and just as he begins to dial Klaus' number a phone rings. Johanna's. He pulls it out, declines the call to silence the device, and then retrieves his phone from his pocket. He stays close to the bar, just in case he's needed, but right now she's on her own.

A deep voice behind Johanna startles her.

"How are you liking your drink?"

She straightens up noticeably, glancing in the direction of the voice.

Marcel.

"It's great, thanks." she smiles.

"I like to take care of old and new visitors." he says loudly, "And I've never seen you before, so I'm assuming that you're new here."

Johanna nods once, her body remaining stiff.

"I've never been here before."

"Why is that?" he asks.

She watches as he tilts his head slightly to the left, and takes notice of how his eyes linger on her like he's searching for more, like he's searching for an answer or for the truth.

"I was never interested. Until now."

"What sparked your interest?"

Then, she remembers an important piece of information. Cedric claimed, earlier, that he had compelled her to come here with him. They were putting on a show. She was a foolish human, and Cedric was the powerful hybrid. She had to continue this show now, if she wanted to get in with Marcel who was a very clever man.

"I don't remember." her smile falls. "After I met Cedric, we came here. That's all I know."

"Ah, yes, Cedric." Marcel's grin returns. "I've been acquainted with him in the past. I remember him, and I've been watching him buy your drinks all night. I'm Marcel."

He extends his hand to her, and she takes it seconds later.

"Johanna." she shakes his hand.

"Johanna?"

She almost sees his smile falter.

"Yes, but you can call me Anna."

"Well, Anna." Marcel gestures to his surroundings. "Enjoy yourself, enjoy the night, and perhaps I'll see you around sometime."

"Perhaps."

Then, Marcel leans forward and looks directly into her eyes.

"Enjoy the night with my friend, who will enjoy you. You won't feel a thing, you won't scream, and you won't run."

A smile, that starts off shaky, spreads over her lips and somehow she finds the words to speak.

"I'll enjoy the night, with your friend." she repeats quietly.

"I do believe you met Christopher, earlier." Marcel smiles.

He swings an arm around Christopher's neck as he joins them.

"She's a beauty, isn't she?" Christopher asks.

Marcel shoots Christopher a sideways glance. "And she's all yours, _for tonight_."

"Thanks, brother." Christopher grins, extending a hand to Johanna.

Her eyes skim past him and slip towards the door, towards Cedric who has just entered. He pauses noticeably before he begins to walk towards their side. Johanna's hand falls into Christopher's, after feeling his, and Marcel's, intense and confused gaze lingering on her. She stands up from the stool just as Cedric returns.

"Is there something I can help you two gentlemen with?" Cedric smiles, standing next to Johanna.

He's taller than the three of them, and shadows down over them.

Marcel glances up at him, a warm smile on his face still. "Not tonight, friend. It's good to see you back, Cedric. It's really good, help yourself to whatever you want."

Cedric's eyes shift towards Christopher. This isn't the plan. It's Marcel, who takes her, or it's nothing.

"She's what I want, actually." Cedric gestures towards her. "So, er..If you wouldn't mind letting us-"

"A word, please, Cedric?" Marcel asks.

Cedric nods, and follows him silently out on to the balcony. He turns back slightly, counting the number of Marcel's guys in the bar. They're all Marcel's guys.

Once he has joined Marcel's side he speaks.

"All I was saying-" Cedric starts.

Marcel stops him, speaking over him.

"It's good to have you back here, friend. What's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours, right?"

"Right." he nods once.

"And if she's yours, that mean she's mine too. Yes?"

Cedric falters, falling silent for a second, and it gives Marcel more time to speak.

"You didn't really think you could bring a human like _that _in here and she'd just walk away with you at the end of the night, did you?" Marcel almost laughs. "Cedric, man, you've been gone for far too long. You've forgotten the rules."

"No, of course, I haven't. I didn't think that." Cedric says through gritted teeth. "What's mine is yours."

Marcel's smile widens. "Great. I'll have her returned to you by the morning."

* * *

The night moves slowly.

It passes by in flashes of red and blue, black and gold. Blood. The feeling of a stranger's hands gripping her neck, as familiar sets of teeth dig into her bare neck. The blood falls heavily. It stains her clothes, and runs down her body. The vodka's are piled on her. The bourbon, and the whiskey, and the dirty martini's are pushed her way but she tries not to drink too much.

Somehow, she ends up getting hammered. The music is too loud, it almost splits her head, and she can't shake the sick feeling the builds up in her stomach throughout the night.

The men, and the women - the vampires don't want her, not like _that_. They just want her blood, and they all get some. Eventually, the black haze that had hung above her head and followed her around takes her, it claims her, and she's taken away from the real world. The sleep that she falls into is heavy, and uncomfortable, and she wakes to a hot sun streaming through thick blinds.

Her eyelids are heavy, and she struggles to open them. Johanna's headache pounds, her body aches, and she needs a moment to take in her surroundings. An unfamiliar room. She's on somebody's couch, and there's a man lying on top of her without a shirt on. She recognises him as Christopher, and the sick feeling returns.

If it weren't for the liquor, and the fear of being killed at any second, she'd have killed him last night. The doe eyed, helpless human role that she played so well saved her life last night. She knows this.

Her eyes skim the room, and she sees more bodies. More vampires and more bloody humans. She has to get out of here

and she stands as quickly as she can. Her legs are heavy, and she almost falls down because of them.

Johanna's knees are shaky, and she grips on to the edge of the couch to keep herself up. The ground feels shaky and unsteady beneath her feet. She finds her shoes on the floor and scoops them up, before glancing outside to find a hot, warm sun beating down outside. She can go now. She was only compelled to be with them through the night, no one said anything about her having to stay throughout the day.

Her body aches and stings with fresh cuts and slits to her body. She feels broken down, like she's been hit by something hard. It takes all the strength that she has to steady her breathing and make her way towards the first door that she comes across. A small wooden door.

She grasps the handle, turns it and steps outside to find Marcel standing in the hallway with a smile already on his first face. A gasp nearly passes through her mouth at the sight of him, but she holds it down and tries her hardest to keep her cool.

"Anna." he says pleasantly. "I don't remember anyone saying you could leave."

"I didn't see why I should stay." Johanna bites back, momentarily forgetting something very important.

She remembers Marcel believed he compelled her.

"You told me to enjoy the night with your friend. It's not the night anymore."

Marcel smiles like he finds this amusing. "So, did you enjoy the night?"

"No."

"And why is that?"

There is a sudden seriousness to his voice, and for a minute she considers her answer carefully.

"Because I don't remember spending it with you."

His grin returns, and widens.

"I found myself too busy with business. I'm free tonight, perhaps I'll see you then."

She smiles sweetly, watching as his smile widens at the sight of hers, somehow keeping down the sick feeling growing in her body.

"I'd like that a lot."

* * *

**A/N: Wow, chapter 30! I never thought I'd make it here for this story!**

**Thank you to everyone who reads my story, I hope you're liking it as it moves forward and let me know what you think of this new chapter! ****Also...Wow. Okay, you guys are awesome. The most recent chapters of this story have received really high view counts, which is a great feeling - thank you for taking the time to read it. ****As always, if there is anything at all that you would like to read in this story feel free to let me know and I'd love to try my best to include it.**

**Special thanks to: Julia, Ashley, lilsis321, Celinachanz, Alsynea, JoyScott13, Lisa Dixon, Sabine Christensen, SophStratt and vero! You guys are really awesome, and I can't thank you enough! :) Seriously, I can't believe I got NINE reviews on chapter 29. Seriously, you guys made me so happy and confident with this story. Thank you.**

**Guest reviews:**

**vero 10/9/13 . chapter 29: **Hi, Vero! Thank you for taking the time to read and review my story, I really appreciate it. Also, thanks for such a lovely review. I'm so flattered to read that you think that, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it continues. I'm really happy you like my style of writing, and think I understand Damon good! You can expect some Johanna and Elijah very soon. Thanks, again, for reading :) I hope you enjoyed this new update! x

**Lisa Dixon 10/9/13 . chapter 29: **Dear, Lisa :) Haha, I'm happy you enjoy her with all of the Originals. You can definitely expect to see more interactions with Johanna and the Originals in the future. HAHA, I think Damon can push a lot of people to need a drink! Wow, thank you, I'm very happy you love it and hope you liked this new update. Jamon won't have their own scene together for a few more chapters but the next time they meet is going to be (in my opinion) pretty intense. Anyway, thank you again & thanks for the review :) xx

**Julia 10/11/13 . chapter 29: **Hello, Julia :) I'm very happy that you like it even more, and loved every bit of the chapter. Don't worry, she won't be leaving Mystic Falls permanently. But things will definitely be different on her return. Aw, thank you for being so kind and great. I hope you liked this new update, and thanks for reading and reviewing. xo

**Ashley 10/10/13 . chapter 29: **Hi, Ashley! I'm happy you're enjoying the addition of Elijah, he'll be making more appearances in this story. He is really complex, so their interactions are pretty interesting. Haha, yes, you're definitely right about Marcel! Jo and Jeremy will definitely still have a future friendship, same with her and Matt and Stefan (I want to explore all three of these friendships more, when she finally returns to the town). As you'll read from this chapter, there aren't any witches involved yet but, even after Jo has finally left New Orleans, it definitely won't be the last that you guys will see of the town and people in it. That's great! :) If you do write your own work you should definitely send me a link to your page, or something, just so I can read your work. :) Thanks again. xx

**X**


	31. The land of Gods and Monsters

******Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampire Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

******Soundtrack: Open your eyes - Andrew Belle, Over the love - Florence and the Machine, Set fire to the third bar - Snow Patrol.**

* * *

_I had a plan._

The streets are filled with faceless strangers.

Eyes that don't spare her a second look, despite that she is stained with blood and finding difficulty in moving easily. Her memory fails her for a minute, and everything blends together. All of the streets look the same. The cars, the houses and lofts, the bars and the parks. It's all the same, around every corner that she passes. Her breathing deepens, and she feels the sweat running down her forehead.

Her feet burn against the hot pavement, but she can't put her shoes on because she's afraid her legs are too shaky to walk on already and heels will just worsen them.

For quite some time she is surrounded only by uncertainty, and then she sees it. Something she recognises. Not a face, but a car. Cedric's car, and it tells her that she's found her way back.

She moves slowly towards the front door, clutching the handle with wet hands she all but runs up the stairs. Almost tripping several times, she grips the railing and drags herself up towards the door that she remembers.

Johanna bursts into the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Her fingers shake, as she reaches for the lock. After failed attempts at locking the door, she throws her shoes to the ground and backs away from the door. Her eyes skim the room, and she finds herself entirely alone. Her feet guide her towards the bathroom, she runs to it, and once inside she shuts the door and slides back against it.

She falls to the cold floor, her entire body shaking and sweating as she clutches at her aching forehead. Her body is radiating with heat, and shaking with fear. Her skin feels sticky as she brushes her hair back off of her face, suddenly drawing in large breaths of air just in case she runs out.

Johanna shuts her eyes tightly, trying to find the words that come to her. The words that calm her.

_"The days aren't discarded or collected, they are bees that burned with sweetness or maddened the sting."_

She mumbles lightly and quietly, her eyes remain tightly shut as she pulls her hands into fists by her side. She focuses on her breathing for a minute. Counting it.

A sudden tapping on the door evokes a fear inside of her, and she pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her body. Her eyes close even tighter as she blocks out the voice on the other side of the door, focusing only on the words that come to her like her father had only recited them seconds earlier.

_"The struggle continues, __the journeys go and come between honey and pain. __No, the net of years doesn't unweave: there is no net.__ They don't fall drop by drop from a river: there is no river."_

The voice on the other side of the door calls her name but she doesn't answer it. She doesn't recognise them, and she doesn't hear them clearly. All that she can hear is her father's soft voice. His kind voice, as he recited such beautiful words. She continues to recite the words until she nears the end. Until it's almost over, until she can almost breathe easily again.

_"Sleep doesn't divide life into halves, or action, or silence, or honor: life is like a stone, a single motion,_ _a lonesome bonfire reflected on the leaves, an arrow, only one, slow or swift, a metal that climbs or descends burning in your bones."_

When it's over, when the words have stopped and her breathing has calmed down, her eyes open to lightly lit bathroom. She looks around it slowly, almost like she doesn't recall coming inside here. She drags herself up slowly from the ground, her legs still feeling slightly shaky beneath her feet. The sound of footsteps moving around outside of the bathroom causes her to reach for the handle.

Johanna takes a slow, small step out of the doorway. Her heat slows down when she sees who it is.

"Perhaps, you'd like a tea, Johanna?"

Elijah calls, his back to her as he moves around the small kitchen.

She doesn't answer his question.

"Were you-"

"Was I tapping on the bathroom door?"

"Mm."

"Yes, I was, but then I felt it best to leave you to whatever it was you were doing in there." Elijah turns around slowly.

"How did you get in here?" she asks.

"Before we ask our questions, I think it would be best if you had a shower and washed all of that blood off you, otherwise you'll stain the furniture and we wouldn't want that. Also..You do look incredibly uncomfortable, perhaps you may feel better once clean."

She nods, finding herself somehow unable of glancing down at her body to view the blood that she knows is with her. She can feel it sticking to her, and she could feel it rolling down her body last night.

"Then, once you've showered we can have some tea and talk. How does that sound?"

Johanna simply nods, before turning around slowly and retracing her earlier steps towards the bathroom. She locks the door behind her, and steps in front of the mirror.

A gasp rises in her throat when she catches sight of herself. Covered in blood and bruises. Painted with it. It stains her arms, and legs, but mostly it stains her face and her neck. Dark bruises mark her skin, hand prints. A larger bruise marks her right cheek, like she'd been hit. Her right lip is cut open, and a long, sharp cut runs underneath her left eye.

Bile rises in the back of her throat and she turns away from her reflection, fighting the sick feeling that returns to her stomach. It takes a minute for it to pass, but once it's over she's able to move again.

First, she strips off her clothes. She doesn't want them anymore. They fall into a pile in the corner of the room. Then, she steps underneath the silver shower head and turns the cold water on.

Her body continues to radiate a sickening warmth, so she leaves only the cold on and runs it down her body. She focuses on words, and other memories. Not this one. Her thoughts drag her back to the night, but she fights them. Johanna washes slowly, taking her time as he body aches still.

The bruises are fresh, and the cuts are warm. Teeth marks. They travel up her arms, and her neck, and she nearly vomits again. She finds herself on the floor of the shower, kneeling over, almost about to vomit just thinking about it all.

The thought of these vampires, these monsters, feeding from her leaves her feeling sick at first. Cold water rushes down her spine, and floods over her body. It soothes her, and soon she begins to feel numb. The sick feeling fades for good and all that she's left with is a rage. A desire to kill all of them. Every single one.

Once she's cleaned, she steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body. Elijah waits patiently in a chair, his back to her. She scoops up a pair of brown pants, and a baggy blue shirt along with other necessities. After returning to the bathroom and changing quickly, with her back to the mirror because she can't look at herself, she walks quietly towards the table and takes a seat down in front of Elijah.

He's already sipping his tea.

"So, you had questions, Johanna?"

Elijah glances up at her.

Somehow, he stares only at her eyes. Not her bruises, or scratches, and not the marks from the vampire's teeth. He just looks at her eyes, and somehow that makes her feel even worse. He's avoiding it, and she wishes she could avoid it too but she can't.

"No." her voice is quieter. "Not anymore."

She settles her hands in her lap, crossing them together as she meets his gaze once more. Johanna feels beyond the point of exhaustion, she's fading and he can see this.

"Do you know if Cedric will be returning soon?" Elijah asks pleasantly.

All that she can manage to do is shake her head.

Elijah makes a small sigh.

"I guess my blood will have to do, then."

"I'm sorry?" it comes out as a small squeak.

"I'm sorry, what about that didn't you understand, Johanna?"

"Your blood?" her voice rises, slowly sounding normal. "Why? What for?"

"Have you taken a proper look at yourself, Johanna?"

She shakes her head ever so slightly.

"Apart from your notable injuries, you're lacking blood. Do you know how long you were in the bathroom for?"

"No."

"Over an hour."

She swallows tightly. "What? I thought.."

"You stopped speaking the beautiful verse after a few minutes, and were silent for an hour. You were either passed out, or sleeping. You didn't stir for quite some time. I didn't want to intrude, if you were indecent, and after hearing your heartbeat from outside the door I let you bed. My blood will have to do, but I'll have you know now that I don't do this for just any human."

"Why me?"

"Because," he sighs. "I don't like what they've done to you. I don't particular like the way that humans are treated in this town, and seeing the difference between who you are today, and how eager you were yesterday, bursting with confidence, is striking. You were so sure you would press the stake in his heart, and now you've lost that confidence and broken your deal-"

"I haven't backed out of anything." she snaps back, the confidence slowly returning to her voice. "I'm still going to do it, I just need..."

"You need blood to heal, to recover." he suggests.

Johanna shakes her head, holding his steady, unwavering gaze as she does.

"I don't need to recover. They're bruises, and cuts, and I've had far worse. I don't want your blood, or need it. So thank you, but no thank you, Elijah."

"As you wish, Johanna." Elijah smiles kindly. "Now, why don't you start by telling me how exactly you wound up in a state such as this one?"

"I don't remember the events clearly."

"Start with what you do remember."

"Why does it matter to you?" she asks, the suspicion clear in her voice.

She has every reason to be suspicious, especially after last night.

"It doesn't, but I wanted to give you a chance to practice your story. I'm almost certain that Niklaus, or even Cedric, will be interrogating you on the nights events and I can say, with complete certainty, that they have only half as much patience as I do."

"Don't you have something better to do?"

"At the current moment?" he glances up from his tea. "No, so please, if you will continue as I asked you to."

"I don't remember it clearly."

"That's completely understandable, Johanna."

"They fed off me."

"They?" Elijah asks curiously.

She shrugs, leaning back in her chair.

Her eyes fall down to her wrists, and she counts bite marks there too. The sick feeling returns to her stomach, and she has to draw her eyes away from the marks to stop herself thinking about it.

"I don't remember how many." Johanna says finally, the disgust still lingering in her eyes.

"Judging from the number of bite marks you've sustained to your body, I'd say several. You don't remember much clearly?" he seems puzzled. "They can't compel you to forget, can they? Because you can't be compelled."

"They kept pushing drinks down my throat, and it wasn't like I could refuse. The music was too loud, it was way too hot, and I felt like my head nearly split open." she admits, her eyes somehow locking with his. "I don't know how I made it out of there without killing someone."

"It took a great deal of strength and self control to do what you did, Johanna. Now, your face. Who did that to you?"

She swears she almost catches a shred of anger darting across his impassive eyes, but she says nothing about it and instead addresses his words.

"Who hit me in the face?"

"Mm." Elijah responds calmly.

"I don't remember, it could have been anyone."

"And Marcel-"

"Oh, god. Marcel." she drops her head to her hands. "I forget. I have to go see him, tonight. But I don't think I can stay here, in this town, until then. I can't sit here, and wait, and I just want to get it all over with. Right now."

"I don't understand. What is preventing you from seeing him now?"

She glances up, dropping her hands to her side.

"I can't just approach him."

"And why is that?" Elijah answers coolly. "You'd catch him off guard, as he's not expecting you until the evening. Immediately, you'd have the upper hand."

"Jesus, Johanna!" Cedric exclaims, bursting through the door. "I've been looking for you everywhere, and here you are having tea with-"

He halts when she turns around, and he catches sight of her face. A guilt he didn't believe he'd feel swells inside of him, and he takes a minute to compose himself and speak again.

"Rough night?" his attempt to remain cool fails.

The guilt, and the rage, is clear in his voice.

"You could say that." she answers, before sipping from the tea cup.

Her eyes move up towards Elijah, who gives her a reassuring, supportive nod. If she wants to do this now, she should do it now. A slight frown crosses over her face, as she wonders why it is he's being so kind to her, before she stands and turns to face Cedric.

"I don't want to wait. I can't wait. I want to go in there, right now, and I want to stake him in the heart. For this, for me, and for all of the poor humans that get stuck in this place."

"We can't."

Johanna stops him.

"Whatever you're about to say, to stop me, don't. I can't stay in this town any longer. Not until tonight."

"It's risky."

"It was always going to be a risk!" she fights the urge to shout at him. "There was always going to be a risk, and I'm willing to take it. I could go in there now, you could wait outside."

He lifts an eyebrow, taking a long step towards her. "And once inside, what would you do?"

"Kill him."

Cedric nearly scoffs.

"It's not that simple."

"But it can be! Then, you can say that you chased me out of town and Klaus killed me. It'll all fall into plan, just like you wanted, and then I can get the hell out of here." she almost smiles with relief, at the thought of finally being free of the mess.

And then any traces of a smile vanish from her face completely when Cedric speaks.

"You're not done after this." he informs her, a hint of regret in his voice.

Her eyes widen. "What?!"

"New Orleans is just a detour. Klaus isn't done with you yet."

"Yes, he is. I thought-"

"After New Orleans, that you'd be out?" Cedric replies. "Johanna, that's not the deal. This is just a part of it."

She turns away, briefly shutting her eyes as she fights the urge to shout, or throw something. All that she wants to do is run. Run as far away as she can from Mystic Falls, and her past, and all of these vampires. She just wants to get out, and never look back.

"I'm sorry, but a deal is a deal."

"Are you sorry?" she snaps back.

"I am, but you made your deal and you have to live with that. Don't you?" Cedric says calmly. "And if you want to go after Marcel today, we can."

"I don't.."

"You'll need to get dressed." he instructs, casting a look over her. "I'll have a car waiting for you on the edge of town, you'll need to leave as soon as it's done. Not that anyone will know your face, but they'll know you were a hunter. The driver will take you right back to Mystic Falls, and we'll proceed from there."

Elijah stands from the chair, fixing up his suit as he does. He glances between the two before speaking with a loud, but calm voice.

"I think it'd be best if I excused myself now, as my brother's games hold no interest to me. Good luck, Johanna."

"Thank you." she answers, her voice much quieter.

"I do hope we meet again, under different circumstances."

Elijah smiles, before turning to Cedric and nodding briefly. Then, he steps past him and leaves the two of them in an awkward silence that doesn't last very long.

Cedric breaks it.

"I am sorry, but once this is all over..."

"Can you leave? I need to get changed."

"Okay." Cedric sighs, pulling her phone from his pocket. "Here."

He sets it down on the table, watching as her eyes fall down towards it.

"It wouldn't stop buzzing."

Johanna looks away immediately, not even wanting to search through the messages right now. She feels sick at the idea of Matt, or Jeremy, or anyone seeing her in the state that she's in. A bloody, bruised mess off to try and kill a powerful, old vampire who could kill her with his hands tied behind his back.

Seconds after Cedric has left the room, Johanna moves slowly towards the pile of dresses on the bed. She skims through them effortlessly, not caring which one she wears. She opts for a long sleeve, dark blue, navy dress which just reaches her knees. After sliding it on, she pulls on a pair of small blue heels and brushes out her hair before tying it back off of her face.

She makes her way to the bathroom, and takes a closer look at her face. The bruises have worsened, if possible. She wipes at the bloody cuts, places bandages over a few of them, and then searches for some sort of powder, or make-up, to cover the rest but she finds nothing. She can't find a way to break free of the injuries, or to hide them, so instead she embraces them.

Johanna picks up her phone, slides it into her purse and picks it up. Cedric knocks on the door, and after she calls back, he enters and holds out a stake and a black garter. He turns around while she slides it up onto her leg, and slides the stake up beside it.

"So?"

He turns around at the sudden sound of her voice.

"Does it look like I'm wearing a stake?"

She sounds defeated, a far cry from the woman he'd seen only last night. That woman had looked nervous, but she had some sort of confidence. This woman has none. She sounds tired, and Cedric finds himself wishing that this were it. He wishes this was all she had to do, but it isn't. Johanna owes to Klaus, and he can't let her break that deal.

"No." Cedric answers honestly. "You look nice."

She takes a step in his direction. "You and I need to clear something up."

"What's that?"

"If any other vampire but Marcel puts their hand on me, I'm going to rip their heart out. Got it?"

He half smiles. "Least the fights still in you."

"Do you understand me?" her voice raises considerably. "That includes hybrids too. That means you."

"Yes," Cedric nods. "I do understand it."

"Good. Now, let's go finish this."

* * *

The walk back to Marcel's, the place that she had run from only hours earlier, was a long one. Her feet felt heavy beneath her, like she had to drag them every step of the way. Cedric tailed her, but at a distance as he didn't want to catch anyone's attention. But Johanna was catching plenty of attention from the humans that weren't compelled, she was even stopped by a police officer who wanted to check that she was okay.

After repeated attempts at assuring him she was perfectly fine, she left with his card just in case she needed anything. The police officer was sweet, and kind, she found herself thinking. Then it hit her, the reason why she thought that was because he reminded her of her father. The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth, because she hadn't allowed herself to think about her father for a long time.

Quickly, she pushed those thoughts, and old feelings and memories, down until there was nothing left but the anger.

The anger is what pushes her to his front door, and soon enough she's knocking on it. She only has to wait a few seconds before the door is opened. A light haired man, with dark green eyes stares at her with a deep frown on his face.

"What do you want?"

She tries to smile, to fall back into the act of the doe eyed, sweet girl.

"To see Marcel." her voice comes off a little shaky, and she silently curses herself.

To do this successfully she needs to be strong, to be confident. She searches for this strength, for the confidence to continue, and she finds it in the memory that she'd just tried to push down. Her father.

"He's busy, try later." he tries to shut the door in her face.

"Too busy for me?"

She wedges her foot in between the door, preventing him from shutting it completely. Now, when he gets a closer look at her he remembers her. This much is clear from the smile that tugs on his lips.

"Oh, it's you." his smile is sleazy. "He wasn't expecting you until later."

Johanna tilts her head to the right, playing with a fallen curl. "Well, I'm here now and there was something I needed to talk with him about."

"What?"

"Whatever Anna wishes to discuss with me, is for her to discuss with me and not you, Owen. Although, I'm sure you and I will probably discuss it later." Marcel announces, suddenly appearing at the top of a long, winding staircase. "Please, join me upstairs. I can take a moment, for you."

She slips inside and takes the stairs slowly, barely remembering being in this place last night. Marcel's eyes burn against her skin, taking in all of her, as she walks towards him. His smile widens as she reaches him, but he doesn't move.

"Now, what was so important that you interrupted my meeting?" his tone is deep and serious.

"Oh, did I? If you'd like, I could leave."

"No, now you have me intrigued about what you could possibly want to talk to me about." Marcel crosses his arms, waiting for her to continue.

"Last night."

He lifts an eyebrow. "What about last night? Didn't you enjoy yourself? Did you not enjoy my town, and my friends? My liquor?" he almost looks offended.

"The liquor, I enjoyed. Your town is beautiful, but no..." she pauses, drawing in a breath of air. "If I'm being honest with you, Marcel, I didn't particularly enjoy myself with your friends."

"And why is that?" Marcel asks coldly.

"I was actually looking forward to spending my time with you."

"Really?"

"Really." she nods once. "You caught my attention."

"And if you goal was to capture my attention, then you've succeeded. You look quite nice in your dress."

"I'm covered with-"

"Cuts and bruises?" Marcel smiles again. "They add to your beauty. I like the way you look, it shows that you aren't afraid to have a little fun."

"So, tell me, Marcel..." she inches closer. "Do you like to have a little fun?"

He nods once. "A like to have a lot of fun."

"Oh, really?"

"The city never sleeps, the drinks flow, and the party never stops."

"Speaking of drinks, do you think you and I could have one alone?" Johanna suggests, smiling sweetly now.

His smile widens significantly. "I'd like that."

"You would?"

Marcel nods, but takes a small step backwards. "Why don't you follow the hallway down to the end, take a right and my room is the last door. I'll meet you down there in...Let's say, two minutes?"

"Two minutes?" she checks.

"If you don't mind waiting."

Her smile remains intact. "What's another two minutes?"

"I like the way you think."

Johanna follows his directions down the hallway to the end, she takes a right and walks until she reaches the last door. After gripping the handle and twisting it, she steps inside and shuts the door behind her. Marcel's room is just as lavishly decorated as she expected it might be.

Her eyes skim past all of the shining objects, the beautiful pieces of art, and she can't take it all in. It's beautiful. The walls are silver, the floors are black, and the bed is covered with silky, soft sheets and blankets. Dazzling lights hang from the ceiling, the walls are covered with artwork. Sculptures, and decorations, are scattered throughout the room.

She spends the two minutes alone in his room thinking about a plan. It had seemed easier in her head. She would stake him in here, but the room was so big and there was bound to be someone nearby. She had to do it quietly, and she had to find an easy way out. Johanna pushes open wide, glass doors and steps out on to a large, nicely decorated balcony. Her eyes skim over it as she determines a way out of here, that might not include using the front door.

A small, rusted ladder leads to the roof. She considers her choices for a moment, but before she can make any permanent decisions a voice startles her.

"Not thinking of leaving before the party has even started, are you?" Marcel asks. "That would be very disappointing."

Johanna spins around, an immediate, forced smile spreading over her lips.

"I was taking in the view."

She walks towards him slowly, her eyes skimming over him as she does. She sets her small purse down on a nearby table, and glances up to meet his gaze properly. His dark eyes rest on her, like he's watching her every movement, every breath.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your meeting. Was it important?"

"It was, but the situation has been sorted." Marcel answers.

She assumes that those words probably mean the problem has been removed, and that problem is probably a person, or supernatural creature, considered a threat.

"Where would you like to start? A martini?"

It takes all of her strength to say the next words that pass her lips.

"I was thinking you might like a drink."

Marcel understands immediately, he can see it in her eyes, but he makes her say it like he wants to hear those words passing her lips.

"A drink of what, Anna?"

"My blood." the words pass her lips effortlessly.

"If you're thirsty."

"I'm quite thirsty, but first I want you to tell me why you're really here."

"Why I'm really here?"

Marcel nods, walking towards her slowly, like an animal stalking their prey.

"Tell me why you're really here."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Really?" but it's not really a question.

He wears an expression like he already knew that she'd be thinking about him.

"Yes."

"Luckily, for you, I believe that." he smiles. "Cedric sent you here, didn't he? As a gift."

"I don't remember." she lies. "But I think he may have."

"Well, come here then, Anna. I'd like to try my gift, see if I like it."

Marcel takes her hand harshly, the forcefulness of his grip contradicting the sweet smile on his face. He drags her forward, before gently brushing her fallen curls away from her neck.

"Do you mind?" he almost whispers.

She knows he's not really giving her a choice, it's just another test, another game to play with a human's mind.

"Not at all." she answers quietly.

Johanna feels his lips pressed to her neck first, but they are soon replaced by sharp teeth. He doesn't dig his teeth into her skin just yet, but instead runs them up her neck, scratching her, testing her. Marcel enjoys this, he enjoys dragging it out, she can see it when he pulls away and looks into her eyes.

"Well?" she lifts an expecting eyebrow.

He didn't feed from her, all that he did was leave long, thin scratches on her neck that have begun to bleed lightly.

"Your heart is beating exceptionally fast." he looks puzzled. "Why?"

She ignores his question, and instead asks one of her own because it's all that she can think to do. She needs to be his distraction.

"I've got a question for you."

"Oh, really? And what's that?" Marcel replies instantly, a mix of curiosity and something darker lurking in his eyes.

"Aren't you going to unwrap your gift?"

Marcel smiles a toothy grin, his hands falling to her waist as he pulls her back towards the bed. He runs his hands down her waist, up her back, before she stops him by settling her hands against his chest. Then, just when he thinks she's about to pull away, she presses a kiss to his lips as she begins to slide her hands underneath his shirt. He doesn't fight it, instead he slips his hands underneath her legs, picks her up and falls down on the bed with her.

While she continues to slide off his shirt, he feeds on her. His teeth reappear, and she doesn't see them, or realise it, until they're in her neck. The same sticky, warm sensation runs down her chest and shoulder. Her breathing deepens significantly, as she manages to focus on the task that has to be completed. Once the shirt is gone from his body, she tries to distract him by working on his pants.

Her hand latches on to his belt, and just as she's about to remove it he stops her and pulls his teeth out of her neck. Blood drips down his face, which returns to normal despite the blood that covers his chin and face, and he smiles.

"I think I'll unwrap my gift first."

She swallows tightly, silently cursing herself that she didn't remove the stake from her body and hide it somewhere. Instead of focusing on what she failed to do, she focuses on the situation before her.

Johanna smiles before pressing a kiss to his bloody lips. The sick feeling in her stomach returns just as the rage that she'd been bottling up inside almost bursts. In an attempt to get rid of some of this anger, she grabs his shoulders harshly and flips him over on his back. She slides down on top of his waist, her legs resting either side of his hips.

Marcel smiles, breathing out deeply. "I thought you were that kind of girl."

He takes her wrist, kisses the skin, and then digs his teeth in.

"What kind of girl?" Johanna finally asks.

She lifts her hands to the back of her dress, slowly and hesitantly lowering the zipper so that the dress now hangs off of her shoulders. All that she has to do is keep the stake hidden, until she's ready. She has to wait until he's distracted, and if she can she'll try to keep the dress around her waist.

He pulls his teeth out of her wrist, leaving the blood to flow down on the bed sheets. Marcel releases her hand, and catches his breath.

"The kind that likes it rough."

"You got that right, baby." she whispers sweetly.

She leans down, and presses a kiss to his bare chest. He leans his head back, retaking her hand but this time he tears the skin of her palm and begins to feed from her. Johanna continues to distract him by pressing more kisses to his chest, and his stomach. Marcel leans his head back against the pillows, keeping her open palm to his mouth as he continues to feed from her.

A strong, strange feeling begins to fall over her and she instantly believes that she's about to pass out, or that he's done something to her. She feels dizzy, and her heart beats heavily in her chest. She stops pressing the kisses to his body as a sharp, burning pain moves up the arm that he kisses. A scream of pain rises in her mouth as she rips her hand away from his, causing the skin of her palm to tear badly.

But she doesn't feel the pain of Marcel's wound, because all that she can feel is a sharp, burning pain that surges up her arm.

"What is it?" Marcel frowns, eyeing her off cautiously.

Her eyes rest on her arm, as her mark beings to spread from her elbow and up her shoulder.

Then Marcel's eyes widen, and he sees it, he realises what she is and what she's about to do. Johanna pulls up the side of her dress, rips out the stake, and raises it to his chest. Marcel laughs at her, right in her face. He laughs, and strikes her to the side of the bed. Blood flows from her split lip, as he grips her harshly by her hair and drags her up from the bed.

She groans, and struggles underneath his strong grip, as he holds her up in the air. A furious grin rests on his face as he glares at her.

"You _stupid_ hunter!" he hisses.

The rage that they spoke of, and the cruelty, comes through in his eyes. He hits her in the face again, causing her nose to bleed. Blood spills down her face quickly.

He drags her out on to the balcony, and looks down over the railing. His furious grin shifts into a cruel one, as a look sparks in his eyes and she knows now he's going to throw her off the balcony.

Johanna kicks at him, tries to claw at his skin and somehow reach the stake that rests on the bed. Marcel wraps his hand around her neck, pressing his fingers harshly against her skin.

"I didn't-" she stutters, gasping for air she can't get.

"I knew there was something wrong with you!" his voice turns into a deep growl. "Klaus sent you, didn't he? Well, please, send my regards to Klaus."

Marcel takes a step towards the edge of the balcony, looking over the railing once more to find that the street is not as crowded as it was. He turns back to her, gripping harshly at her neck, before he stops suddenly. His expression turns blank for a minute, and then his eyes fall to his chest.

Johanna follows them.

A wooden stake stands in his chest, but it didn't hit his heart. It's not enough to kill him, it's not even enough to stun him, and then more come flying at him. He drops Johanna to the ground when the hand he'd been holding her gets hit. She staggers away, not needing to find the explanation now but needing to find the stake. She swipes it from the beg, rushes back towards Marcel who knocks her down again.

His strength has returned, for now. He picks her up from the ground again, and just as he is about to toss her from the balcony Johanna stakes him. He didn't see it coming, and didn't take notice of the stake in her hand. She presses it against his bare chest, and digs it in harshly. The cruel smile vanishes. The fury, and the rage, disappears and all that's left behind in his hollow eyes is emptiness.

Marcel's crumpled body falls down on top of her, and she breathes out heavily as she slides herself out from it. Johanna's eyes drag upwards, and she looks at the building directly on top of Marcel's. On the roof top, Cedric stands with a crossbow in his hands. He disappears from the rooftop, meaning that she should disappear too.

Johanna runs inside, her heart beating so heavily in her chest that she's fearful someone might hear her. She pulls on her shoes, picks up her purse, and rushes outside to the balcony. There's no way that she'd make it out the front door, but she'd make it out from the roof.

The sound of nearing voices causes the fear inside her to return, and she rushes outside to the ladder. It's old, and rusty, and looks incredible unreliable and shaky but she doesn't have another choice. This is it. Live or die.

She chooses to live, and reaches for the ladder that could lead to her death if she were to slip from it, or if it were to break underneath her. She climbs it as quickly as she can, not even thinking about the possibility of vampires on the roof. Once she reaches the roof top which is filled with lavish armchairs, and other types of decorations and items, she finds no vampires.

Her eyes skim her surroundings; to her left there is a smaller, flat building with the smallest distance to jump, and to her right there is a rounder building with tiles on the roof, and further distance to jump. The sound of movement below her causes her instincts to kick in, and for some reason she chooses her second option. The right building.

The left building is too close, it's too obvious. She slips off her shoes, leaving them behind because she doesn't need them, and she begins to run. Johanna runs like she used to, like she's had to for most of her life. She's running like her life depends on it, because it does. Her feet are steadier beneath her, and she doesn't fear they'll crumble anymore.

The ground feels strong beneath her, as she runs faster across it. Once she has reached the ledge, she fights the almost overpowering urge to look down and instead takes several steps back. After breathing in and out, deeply, she picks up her pace and tries to make the jump.

Johanna almost misses.

Her feet stagger, and cut, on the tiles and she's left half hanging off the building while clinging on to the roof top with frighteningly weak hands. It takes her a minute to even find the strength to pull herself up, and once she has she's realised that she's left a bloody path right behind her. Jumping on the tiles was a mistake. Her knees are torn, and her legs are cut.

But she doesn't care about the bloody path, despite that this city is infested and overwhelmed with vampires.

She staggers forward, over the tiles, because this rooftop doesn't have a ladder she can climb down. She moves towards the ledge, and finds that it leads on to a smaller house that does have a fire escape on the side of the building. Johanna makes this jump, it's a little easier than the last one, and in seconds she's moving down the fire escape with a surprising speed.

She only stops once her feet have touched the ground, and she's found a small, dark alleyway that she can hide herself in for a minute and catch her breath. The alleyway is narrow and isolated, no one passes through it and the only sound that can be heard is her heavy, and deep breathing. Johanna only takes a moment, because it's all that she needs, before she begins to run to the edge of the town where her freedom lies just out of reach.

It could be minutes or hours later when the edge of town begins to come into view, and she spots the same silver car that Cedric had been driving waiting for her. The engine is running. She can see a driver in the seat, but something happens. Something changes inside of her, and the thought of getting in that car and being dragged around by Klaus, being used, and abused, to help his needs causes her to back away. She doesn't want that, and she doesn't want to owe anything to him.

She gave her word, but he lead her into this town knowingly. It was all a nightmare that was replaying, and shouting, in her mind and she couldn't escape it. Johanna begins to back away, to turn and run, and just as she spins around she collides into someone else. Her face hits someone's chest, and she falls to the ground.

"It would seem you're in need of yet another bath." Elijah starts, his eyes carefully skimming over her. "And a way out of here."

"What are you-What...How-" she stammers, eyes darting madly around her surroundings.

"How did I find you?"

Johanna nods quickly, quickly standing up.

"If it wasn't for the fact that I was keeping an eye on you, you left an awfully obvious trail of blood. I don't doubt that in minutes you'll be tracked to this location, unless you leave with me now." Elijah answers coolly.

"No."

"No?" he almost laughs. "I'm offering you an escape, which will allow you to keep your life, and you refuse?"

"How can I trust you? Why should I? When-When your brother led me in there-"

"Johanna." he stops her suddenly, placing a gentle hand to her shoulder. "Your mark is showing, and if any vampire is to see you they will kill you."

"Wait." her eyes drop to her arms, and then her chest. "You can see that? Marcel, he-"

"Saw it too, I'm assuming that's where things first went wrong. Now, we must leave immediately because when they come I can't, and won't, protect you from them. You need to make your decision."

"What are you offering me?"

"Help."

"Help with what?"

Elijah pauses, briefly considering the words before he speaks again.

"I am offering you my help, in return for yours."

* * *

**A/N: Wow. Chapter 31 ! It feels great to make it to this point in the story, and I'm really, really excited about you all finding out where it's headed and what's happening next. Thank you to those who read my story, to new and old followers, and to those who have placed my story/me as a favourite. I appreciate it a lot. **

**If you find any spelling errors, please let me know.**

**A special thanks to the kind people who left reviews on chapter 30; ****lilsis321, JoyScott13, Vero, SophStratt, Lisa Dixon, Guest, Ashley and Alsynea :)**

******Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy reading chapter 31 as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Guest reviews:**

**Lisa Dixon 10/13/13 . chapter 30: **Hi, Lisa! Haha, yes, Jo is in a fair bit of trouble in New Orleans (but I'm glad you like it.) Thank you for reading, and leaving such a lovely review, on my story :) When writing these chapters in New Orleans, I missed writing Jamon but, I agree with you, time apart will probably make Damon realise how much he likes her. Maybe, time will make it easier for her to accept everything that they did. As you will have read, from this last chapter, Johanna definitely spent a lot of time with Marcel. She'll have some scenes with Klaus later on, because he's not done with her yet (there will also be a Klaus/Johanna friendship in the future.) Thank you, again. I hope you enjoy this new update, and have a nice day :) xox

**Vero 10/13/13 . chapter 30: **Dear, Vero :) Johanna is almost a breaking point, and I don't want to give away too much...But Damon will be there in a way no one probably expected. Thanks for such a kind review, I really appreciate that you take the time to read my story - Of course, I'll answer you, I'll always answer anyone who reviews my story. I love reading other people's thoughts/feelings on my stories, so thank you for taking the time to review. :) Thank you again, and have a lovely day. x

**Ashley 10/14/13 . chapter 30: **Hey, Ashley :) That's great, I'm glad to see you love that. It's strange, but I could actually clearly picture Marcel interacting with Johanna (especially in the next chapter). He's one of my favourite baddies too, just like Kol is. They both like chaos, they're great at causing it, and I think it's fair to say they're both pretty temperamental. Thank you, for reading and reviewing. I'm happy you're liking it, and hope you enjoyed this new chapter. Sure :) I hope you get something done, I'd love to read it. Have a nice day. xx

**Guest 10/14/13 . chapter 30: **Dear, Guest. Thank you for reading & reviewing my story :) Here's the latest update, which I hope you enjoy reading!

**x**


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